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1
00:00:07,108 --> 00:00:12,111
We met on the computer
in 1966.
2
00:00:12,113 --> 00:00:14,046
It was called T.A.C.T.--
3
00:00:14,048 --> 00:00:17,282
Technical Automated
Compatibility Testing.
4
00:00:17,284 --> 00:00:21,120
They made us answer
all these questions.
5
00:00:21,122 --> 00:00:22,554
"Do you like the beach?"
6
00:00:22,556 --> 00:00:24,056
"Do you speak
another language?"
7
00:00:24,058 --> 00:00:26,425
I remember
they even asked me
8
00:00:26,427 --> 00:00:29,028
to rank
a woman's hairstyle.
9
00:00:29,030 --> 00:00:33,132
I believe I said
I preferred a bob.
10
00:00:33,134 --> 00:00:34,333
I had a bob.
11
00:00:34,335 --> 00:00:36,702
[chuckles] Anyway,
12
00:00:36,704 --> 00:00:40,372
this giant IBM machine--
13
00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:43,142
about the size
of this room--
14
00:00:43,144 --> 00:00:44,643
matches us together.
15
00:00:44,645 --> 00:00:45,811
It was...
16
00:00:45,813 --> 00:00:47,312
Love at first fan theory.
17
00:00:47,314 --> 00:00:49,114
[chuckles]
We both frequented
18
00:00:49,116 --> 00:00:51,316
the same X-Files chat room
in the '90's.
19
00:00:51,318 --> 00:00:54,319
I was just so nervous
to meet her,
20
00:00:54,321 --> 00:00:58,323
but we emailed for
about two years, until...
21
00:00:58,325 --> 00:00:59,758
He started favoriting
some of my tweets
22
00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:01,360
about being drunk
at brunch.
23
00:01:01,362 --> 00:01:03,362
And I love
getting drunk at brunch.
24
00:01:03,364 --> 00:01:05,497
So then I started favoriting
some of his tweets.
25
00:01:05,499 --> 00:01:07,499
So then we started
re-tweeting each other,
26
00:01:07,501 --> 00:01:10,769
and then we started
DM'ing each other,
and then...
27
00:01:10,771 --> 00:01:13,472
I was on this Facebook page
for incoming students
28
00:01:13,474 --> 00:01:15,774
and I saw a message
that Melissa had posted
29
00:01:15,776 --> 00:01:17,276
about starting
a knitting club.
30
00:01:17,278 --> 00:01:19,178
[laughs]
James!
31
00:01:19,180 --> 00:01:21,246
-Of course you asked.
-I just wanted to see
32
00:01:21,248 --> 00:01:22,714
if anyone was interested.
33
00:01:22,716 --> 00:01:25,384
But of course,
when I held our first meeting,
34
00:01:25,386 --> 00:01:27,853
-only one person came.
-[James laughs]
35
00:01:27,855 --> 00:01:29,721
I just thought
she was cute.
36
00:01:29,723 --> 00:01:31,723
I just didn't realize
I'd have to pretend
37
00:01:31,725 --> 00:01:34,159
to crochet a hat
for two months straight.
38
00:01:34,161 --> 00:01:35,661
[both laugh]
39
00:01:35,663 --> 00:01:37,429
[female interviewer]
And how long ago was that?
40
00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:38,530
Eight years.
41
00:01:38,532 --> 00:01:39,798
-Eight years?
-Yes.
42
00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:41,400
[interviewer]
And how are things going?
43
00:01:41,402 --> 00:01:43,102
Things are going
really good.
44
00:01:43,104 --> 00:01:45,437
I'm about to get my PhD
in microbiology,
45
00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:47,873
-and Mel is an amazing--
-I freelance mostly.
46
00:01:47,875 --> 00:01:49,842
But lately, I've been
driving for Swyft.
47
00:01:49,844 --> 00:01:52,511
[man]
Is she really talking to me?
Or is she talking to her father?
48
00:01:52,513 --> 00:01:55,848
And as hard as you try,
you will never be able
to live up to him.
49
00:01:55,850 --> 00:01:58,383
Yes! You totally get it.
50
00:01:58,385 --> 00:01:59,718
[scoffs] Right.
51
00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:01,887
-So you begin to resent her.
-Right.
52
00:02:01,889 --> 00:02:05,357
-Which starts
this whole pattern of--
-No, make a right.
53
00:02:05,359 --> 00:02:06,592
-You're gonna miss the turn.
-Oh, shit.
54
00:02:06,594 --> 00:02:08,327
I mean, the flexible
hours are great.
55
00:02:08,329 --> 00:02:10,195
It gives me time
to work on my art,
56
00:02:10,197 --> 00:02:12,631
and rehearse
with my improv group,
The Diva Cups.
57
00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:14,833
One word suggestion,
then I need bing-bang boom.
58
00:02:14,835 --> 00:02:17,503
-[Mel vocalizing]
-And a body!
59
00:02:17,505 --> 00:02:20,139
[Spanish accent]
Today, we'll be having
something especial I want to--
60
00:02:20,141 --> 00:02:21,840
Ahh, meatballs sub.
61
00:02:21,842 --> 00:02:24,409
Now, they're really good.
Really, really good.
62
00:02:24,411 --> 00:02:26,345
-Thank you, babe.
-[both chuckle]
63
00:02:26,347 --> 00:02:27,813
Oh! And we just got
64
00:02:27,815 --> 00:02:29,882
-an apartment together.
-Yes. Yes, we did.
65
00:02:29,884 --> 00:02:33,218
Do you think we should get
a rug for the living room?
66
00:02:33,220 --> 00:02:35,587
Mmm, I'm not sure.
67
00:02:35,589 --> 00:02:37,923
-You decide.
-[scoffs]
68
00:02:37,925 --> 00:02:39,525
Did you get
a lamp yet?
69
00:02:39,527 --> 00:02:41,460
Not yet.
Having trouble deciding.
70
00:02:41,462 --> 00:02:43,228
-Mmm.
-James, did you read this,
71
00:02:43,230 --> 00:02:45,164
about this guy
who's apparently meeting
72
00:02:45,166 --> 00:02:47,900
women online
and kidnapping them?
73
00:02:47,902 --> 00:02:50,235
Oh, I read somewhere
that it was a hoax.
74
00:02:50,237 --> 00:02:52,237
Mitchell's doin' it, you know.
75
00:02:52,239 --> 00:02:53,772
Kidnapping women?
76
00:02:53,774 --> 00:02:57,176
[chuckles]
No. Meeting guys online.
77
00:02:57,178 --> 00:02:58,477
Really? So soon?
78
00:02:58,479 --> 00:03:01,613
I know. I still can't
believe they broke up.
79
00:03:03,184 --> 00:03:04,650
They seemed so happy.
80
00:03:04,652 --> 00:03:06,885
I actually feel really sad and lonely.
81
00:03:06,887 --> 00:03:09,655
And I actually feel like there's a rock in my shoe.
82
00:03:09,657 --> 00:03:13,292
Trust me, they're gonna be
back together in like no time.
83
00:03:13,294 --> 00:03:14,526
She told me she's getting dozens
84
00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:16,428
of messages a day
from these guys.
85
00:03:16,430 --> 00:03:18,463
She's going out a lot...
86
00:03:19,266 --> 00:03:23,202
So, what do you want
to do today?
87
00:03:25,306 --> 00:03:27,206
I have an idea.
88
00:03:27,208 --> 00:03:28,307
Huh. Oh!
89
00:03:28,309 --> 00:03:29,541
[grunts, laughs]
90
00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:30,976
-Hey...
-[James chuckles]
91
00:03:30,978 --> 00:03:33,312
Let's have a party
this weekend.
92
00:03:33,314 --> 00:03:34,880
What? No.
93
00:03:34,882 --> 00:03:36,515
-Ah, come on!
-No.
94
00:03:36,517 --> 00:03:38,517
We'll have
a lot of friends over,
95
00:03:38,519 --> 00:03:41,286
we need to show off
our cool new pad...
96
00:03:41,288 --> 00:03:43,455
[scoffs]
I thought you said
97
00:03:43,457 --> 00:03:45,791
parties give you anxiety.
98
00:03:45,793 --> 00:03:47,392
What?
99
00:03:48,696 --> 00:03:50,329
No, they don't.
100
00:03:50,331 --> 00:03:52,264
[Mel] Oh, my God,
I'm having a panic attack.
101
00:03:52,266 --> 00:03:54,266
-[James] No, you're not.
-[Mel] They're too
many people here.
102
00:03:54,268 --> 00:03:56,401
Why didn't you remind me that
I hate having dinner parties?
103
00:03:56,403 --> 00:03:58,503
[James]
Babe, I did, several times.
104
00:03:58,505 --> 00:04:00,739
[Mel] Well, you need
to be more convincing.
105
00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:03,242
Also, not a lot of
people showed up.
106
00:04:03,244 --> 00:04:05,444
Forty people
on Facebook RSVP'd, "Yes"
107
00:04:05,446 --> 00:04:07,846
and there's
only like 20 people here.
108
00:04:07,848 --> 00:04:10,315
-[jazz playing over speakers]
-Mmm. I thought you said
109
00:04:10,317 --> 00:04:12,584
there were
too many people here.
110
00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:15,287
That's not the point.
111
00:04:15,289 --> 00:04:16,355
It's the principle.
112
00:04:16,357 --> 00:04:17,990
That's how it always is.
113
00:04:17,992 --> 00:04:19,758
Yes means maybe,
114
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:22,394
maybe means no,
no means...
115
00:04:22,396 --> 00:04:23,929
Yeah, well,
I don't mean to be harsh
116
00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:25,897
you know, when there's
EDM involved.
117
00:04:25,899 --> 00:04:28,000
-You're drunk.
-No, I'm not.
118
00:04:29,303 --> 00:04:32,004
And did you meet
Rachel's new boyfriend?
119
00:04:32,006 --> 00:04:34,940
-[James groans]
-The guy she met on Bumble.
120
00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:37,276
[James] Of course
she'd bring somebody new.
121
00:04:37,278 --> 00:04:38,710
What if Ben shows up?
122
00:04:38,712 --> 00:04:41,913
[Mel] I think
that's what she's hoping for.
123
00:04:41,915 --> 00:04:44,449
-[Mel and James] She sees us.
-[Rachel] Yeah... Guys, guys!
124
00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:46,385
-[Mel] Hi!
-[James] Hey!
125
00:04:46,387 --> 00:04:48,053
I mean, I love this.
126
00:04:48,055 --> 00:04:49,821
I mean, I love
the apartment.
127
00:04:49,823 --> 00:04:51,390
-I love you guys in it.
-[man] Yeah...
128
00:04:51,392 --> 00:04:53,292
Thanks,
we're really happy here.
129
00:04:53,294 --> 00:04:54,493
Yeah, it's perfect.
130
00:04:55,429 --> 00:04:57,629
So, Rachel,
how's the new job?
131
00:04:57,631 --> 00:05:00,399
-Oh, hello, drunky--
-What!
132
00:05:00,401 --> 00:05:01,733
[laughter]
133
00:05:01,735 --> 00:05:03,302
You know, I mean, it's--
134
00:05:03,304 --> 00:05:04,903
Ah, well, I'm about to quit.
135
00:05:04,905 --> 00:05:07,472
-[Mel] What happened this time?
-So Gary tells me
136
00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:09,474
to get plastic forks
for the break room.
137
00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:11,777
And I asked him if that
is an appropriate task
138
00:05:11,779 --> 00:05:13,478
for the head of marketing,
139
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:15,447
and he looks as
me and he says,
140
00:05:15,449 --> 00:05:17,316
[deep voice]
"Well, we need
to market ourselves
141
00:05:17,318 --> 00:05:18,784
as a company
that has forks."
142
00:05:18,786 --> 00:05:20,886
-Can you believe that?
-[laughs]
143
00:05:20,888 --> 00:05:23,889
Why are you laughing?
You've heard this story
a dozen times.
144
00:05:23,891 --> 00:05:26,425
Oh, yeah. No, it's
just the way you say that.
145
00:05:26,427 --> 00:05:28,360
It's hilarious. [laughs]
146
00:05:28,362 --> 00:05:30,028
Uh, hey guys, I'm Todd,
by the way.
147
00:05:30,030 --> 00:05:31,963
-[Rachel] Oh, yeah, sorry.
-[James] Hi, what's goin' on?
148
00:05:31,965 --> 00:05:33,799
-[Rachel] James, this is Todd.
-[Todd] Nice to meet you guys.
149
00:05:33,801 --> 00:05:35,867
Thank you so much for having me.
This place is awesome.
150
00:05:35,869 --> 00:05:38,437
It's like, it's like
really great, I love it.
151
00:05:38,439 --> 00:05:40,572
How much
do you guys pay actually,
if you don't mind me asking?
152
00:05:40,574 --> 00:05:42,441
Actually, no, I'm sorry.
Do not answer that, I'm so--
153
00:05:42,443 --> 00:05:43,875
I do not why...
[stammers]
154
00:05:43,877 --> 00:05:45,043
I don't know why
I asked that.
155
00:05:45,045 --> 00:05:46,912
That's a bizarre
thing to ask.
156
00:05:46,914 --> 00:05:48,947
Very intrusive,
I hate when people
ask stuff like that.
157
00:05:48,949 --> 00:05:51,550
I'm just-- I'm--
I'm planning
on moving, so...
158
00:05:51,552 --> 00:05:53,018
-[Mel] Oh...
-I'm lookin' for a place,
159
00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:54,686
and I really like
this neighborhood.
160
00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:56,088
It's kind of like the...
161
00:05:56,090 --> 00:05:57,789
exact thing that
I'm looking for, so...
162
00:05:57,791 --> 00:05:59,958
Just looking for like a--
If you don't mind,
163
00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:01,460
like a ballpark figure
for a frame of reference.
164
00:06:01,462 --> 00:06:02,828
-Todd...
-Oh, yeah. Sorry, sorry.
165
00:06:02,830 --> 00:06:04,529
No, no, no, no.
You're right,
you're right.
166
00:06:04,531 --> 00:06:05,764
So I asked
the same thing twice.
167
00:06:05,766 --> 00:06:07,366
-Twice in a row. Bizarre.
-Yeah...
168
00:06:07,368 --> 00:06:08,700
I'm sorry.
It's none of my business.
169
00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:10,936
[laughs] So, uh,
sorry about that.
170
00:06:11,939 --> 00:06:13,538
So...
171
00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:15,407
-Ah, so, Todd...
-Yo.
172
00:06:15,409 --> 00:06:16,508
Ah, what do you do?
173
00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:17,843
Ah, I'm in finance actually,
174
00:06:17,845 --> 00:06:20,078
but my real passion
is food-- Tapas.
175
00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:22,881
-Wow.
-I love tapas.
I actually have a blog
176
00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:25,784
all about tapas called,
"Top Tapas With Todd Tom."
177
00:06:25,786 --> 00:06:27,686
-I don't know
if you guys heard of it.
-It's very creative.
178
00:06:27,688 --> 00:06:29,154
-It's pretty pop--
Oh, thank you.
-[Rachel] Loves the tapas.
179
00:06:29,156 --> 00:06:30,589
Wait. Uh, okay.
180
00:06:30,591 --> 00:06:32,824
Your name is Todd...
181
00:06:32,826 --> 00:06:33,859
-[Rachel] Yeah.
-Tom?
182
00:06:33,861 --> 00:06:34,926
-Todd Tom.
-Tom.
183
00:06:34,928 --> 00:06:36,161
-Todd Tom.
-Todd Tom.
184
00:06:36,163 --> 00:06:38,096
-Yeah, that's a--
-Psych. Rachel.
185
00:06:38,098 --> 00:06:39,965
-Just talk to you for a second?
-Uh, babe?
186
00:06:39,967 --> 00:06:41,967
-You just talk. You know...
-[James] Okay.
187
00:06:41,969 --> 00:06:43,502
-Don't say anything weird.
-[Todd] Anything what?
188
00:06:43,504 --> 00:06:45,504
Weird.
189
00:06:45,506 --> 00:06:47,005
Yeah, what's up?
190
00:06:47,775 --> 00:06:50,008
His name is Dustin.
191
00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:51,943
He's really nice.
He's really funny.
192
00:06:51,945 --> 00:06:53,945
He's the founding member
of Pizza Hat,
193
00:06:53,947 --> 00:06:56,748
which is like
the biggest improv
group in L.A.,
194
00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:58,650
so I'm surely surprised
that he's here.
195
00:06:58,652 --> 00:07:01,787
-[Rachel] Hmm.
-[Mel] Anyway, he's single...
196
00:07:01,789 --> 00:07:03,889
[Rachel scoffs]
Oh, no, I could never date
197
00:07:03,891 --> 00:07:05,624
anyone who does improv.
198
00:07:05,626 --> 00:07:07,125
-No offense.
-[Mel] Oh.
199
00:07:07,127 --> 00:07:08,960
[Rachel]
Anyways, I'm seeing Todd.
200
00:07:08,962 --> 00:07:11,997
-Don't you like Todd?
-Yeah. No.
201
00:07:11,999 --> 00:07:13,865
Todd, Todd seems great.
202
00:07:13,867 --> 00:07:16,768
It just-- I didn't think
you were that into him.
203
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:19,638
[Rachel] Really?
No, I'm totally into Todd.
204
00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:21,606
He's so...
205
00:07:22,042 --> 00:07:23,108
nice.
206
00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:24,910
[scoffs]
I just, I can't date
207
00:07:24,912 --> 00:07:27,179
and other introverted
pessimist with intimacy issues.
208
00:07:27,181 --> 00:07:29,214
-[Mel chuckles]
-Speaking of which...
209
00:07:29,216 --> 00:07:32,584
um, do you know,
is Ben coming?
210
00:07:32,586 --> 00:07:34,886
Yeah, he stopped texting.
211
00:07:35,656 --> 00:07:37,856
But he did Snapchat
212
00:07:37,858 --> 00:07:39,791
a photo of a dead pigeon
about an hour ago,
213
00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:40,959
so we know he's alive.
214
00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:42,093
Yeah.
215
00:07:42,095 --> 00:07:43,862
I thought
the break up was mutual.
216
00:07:43,864 --> 00:07:45,230
It was,
217
00:07:45,232 --> 00:07:46,865
but now he's...
218
00:07:46,867 --> 00:07:48,567
[sighs]
He and I just...
219
00:07:48,569 --> 00:07:51,570
I really want
us to be friends.
220
00:07:51,572 --> 00:07:54,906
Oh! And you will be.
221
00:07:54,908 --> 00:07:57,542
But you guys dated
for four years,
222
00:07:57,544 --> 00:07:59,244
you can't just erase that.
223
00:07:59,246 --> 00:08:01,580
I think Ben
just needs some...
224
00:08:01,582 --> 00:08:03,548
some Ben time.
225
00:08:03,550 --> 00:08:04,749
Yeah.
226
00:08:04,751 --> 00:08:06,618
Nope. Never mind.
227
00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:07,786
There he is.
228
00:08:07,788 --> 00:08:09,588
[Rachel] Oh...
229
00:08:13,894 --> 00:08:15,627
Hey.
230
00:08:15,629 --> 00:08:16,895
-Hi. [chuckles]
-[Ben] Hey.
231
00:08:16,897 --> 00:08:18,830
-Hi, I'm, uh...
-Mere question.
232
00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:20,699
-Yeah?
-Do you have any pot?
233
00:08:20,701 --> 00:08:22,033
Ah, no, sorry, I don't.
234
00:08:22,035 --> 00:08:24,135
Oh, your eyes
are really red.
235
00:08:24,137 --> 00:08:25,737
-Oh! Yeah, no, no, no.
-Smoke pot--
236
00:08:25,739 --> 00:08:27,639
Sorry. I've--
I was just crying.
237
00:08:27,641 --> 00:08:29,274
Oh. Okay.
238
00:08:29,276 --> 00:08:31,710
Can I grab it?
Thank you so much.
239
00:08:32,613 --> 00:08:35,180
[people chattering]
240
00:08:39,586 --> 00:08:41,887
Ooh, Ben!
241
00:08:41,889 --> 00:08:43,622
You look terrible.
242
00:08:43,624 --> 00:08:45,957
Thank you, Lawrence.
I feel like shit.
243
00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:48,159
This place is great.
How long you had
the lease for?
244
00:08:48,161 --> 00:08:51,162
Ah. Mmm. Excuse me.
I have it for a year.
245
00:08:51,164 --> 00:08:54,866
I'm gonna finish my PhD in May,
so I could potentially get
246
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:56,968
a teaching job anywhere, so...
247
00:08:56,970 --> 00:08:58,703
[Ben]
Will Mel go with you?
248
00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:01,773
Uh-- I don't--
I don't-- I don't know.
249
00:09:01,775 --> 00:09:05,043
We've-- We've have not
had that conversation yet.
250
00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:07,646
Well, you know,
take it from me,
people, like all of 'em,
251
00:09:07,648 --> 00:09:09,648
garbage, so if you found
the kind of garbage
252
00:09:09,650 --> 00:09:11,716
you can stand to be around
in a hot apartment all day,
253
00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:13,885
you know, don't throw it out,
because that's what I did.
254
00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:15,787
-[Ben laughs]
-Well, you're single.
255
00:09:15,789 --> 00:09:17,722
Have fun, there's plenty
of women out there
256
00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:19,658
-for you to disappoint.
-[all chuckle]
257
00:09:19,660 --> 00:09:21,960
-Thank you.
-I don't really
like the term single.
258
00:09:21,962 --> 00:09:23,728
-Thank you so much.
-[Lawrence and James] Oh.
259
00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:26,064
Kinda prefer the term
involuntarily alone.
260
00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:29,568
You should, uh--
You should get on Bumble.
261
00:09:29,570 --> 00:09:31,636
-That's how I met my girlfriend.
-[James] No-- Um...
262
00:09:31,638 --> 00:09:33,672
-I'm sorry, who are you?
-Oh, sorry. Todd.
263
00:09:33,674 --> 00:09:36,641
Nice to meet you, man.
I'm Rachel Strauss' boyfriend.
264
00:09:36,643 --> 00:09:38,577
I don't know where she went.
She's around here somewhere.
265
00:09:38,579 --> 00:09:39,978
-I'm Ben.
-Nice to meet you, Ben.
266
00:09:39,980 --> 00:09:41,813
Well, I should
probably get goin'.
267
00:09:41,815 --> 00:09:43,048
-[James] Ben...
-I'm sure I'll be seein' you
268
00:09:43,050 --> 00:09:44,349
in my next panic dream, Todd,
269
00:09:44,351 --> 00:09:45,984
enjoying having sex
with the only woman
270
00:09:45,986 --> 00:09:47,953
-I have ever loved.
-Ahh. Uh--
271
00:09:47,955 --> 00:09:50,255
-Take it easy. Uh, I--
-Ben--
272
00:10:05,606 --> 00:10:07,072
[sets beer down on table]
273
00:10:13,647 --> 00:10:15,180
[door opens]
274
00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:17,382
[Mel]
That's not done yet.
275
00:10:17,384 --> 00:10:18,683
You made this?
276
00:10:18,685 --> 00:10:20,652
Mm-hmm.
277
00:10:20,654 --> 00:10:22,220
And I talked to Rachel.
278
00:10:22,222 --> 00:10:24,356
She really wants
to be your friend...
279
00:10:24,358 --> 00:10:26,725
I don't want her
to want to be my friend.
280
00:10:26,727 --> 00:10:28,693
What, do you want her
to break down into tears
281
00:10:28,695 --> 00:10:30,295
every time
someone mentions your name?
282
00:10:30,297 --> 00:10:32,030
Yeah, I feel like
that's the least she could do.
283
00:10:32,032 --> 00:10:34,699
That, and like some, like,
dry heaving or something.
284
00:10:34,701 --> 00:10:37,102
-[chuckles]
-Your room's kinda dark.
285
00:10:37,104 --> 00:10:39,671
I know!
It needs a lamp.
286
00:10:39,673 --> 00:10:41,406
Guess who found old cocaine
in his back pocket
287
00:10:41,408 --> 00:10:43,775
that he completely
forgot about?
288
00:10:43,777 --> 00:10:45,877
[Lawrence chuckles]
289
00:10:47,714 --> 00:10:49,681
Uh, maybe another time.
290
00:10:49,683 --> 00:10:50,849
All right.
291
00:10:50,851 --> 00:10:53,351
[Ben]
Quick. All right.
292
00:10:53,887 --> 00:10:56,321
Drama-aaa.
293
00:10:57,024 --> 00:10:58,690
[nose snorting cocaine]
294
00:10:58,692 --> 00:11:00,258
[Rachel] Okay, now,
you think that is bad?
295
00:11:00,260 --> 00:11:02,260
I went on this Tinder date
with this guy
296
00:11:02,262 --> 00:11:05,897
who literally brought
his Indian leftovers
297
00:11:05,899 --> 00:11:07,732
to the bar and ate them.
298
00:11:07,734 --> 00:11:10,135
-[Lawrence laughs]
-That was horrifying!
299
00:11:10,137 --> 00:11:12,303
And he wouldn't even
give me a Samosa.
300
00:11:12,305 --> 00:11:14,873
[Lawrence laughs]
A Samosa.
301
00:11:14,875 --> 00:11:17,375
Okay, why are
you laughing, stalker?
302
00:11:17,377 --> 00:11:20,178
-Do not call me that.
-What are you talking about?
303
00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:22,714
-Who are you stalking?
-No. No one.
304
00:11:22,716 --> 00:11:23,882
I'm not stalking anyone.
305
00:11:23,884 --> 00:11:27,118
-[Mel] Lawrence!
-Stop! No!
306
00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:29,421
Here.
His name is Marco.
307
00:11:29,423 --> 00:11:32,190
-[Mel] Hold on...
-And he is my future husband.
308
00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:33,925
Oh, really?
309
00:11:33,927 --> 00:11:37,228
-Like. Like. Like. Like--
-Stop!
310
00:11:37,230 --> 00:11:39,130
Girl, don't do that!
Oh, my goodness.
311
00:11:39,132 --> 00:11:41,733
You know, I have
actually been getting
312
00:11:41,735 --> 00:11:44,302
a lot of threesome requests.
313
00:11:44,304 --> 00:11:46,938
Actually,
there was this one couple
who was pretty cute.
314
00:11:46,940 --> 00:11:49,808
They had pictures
of them rock climbing and stuff.
315
00:11:49,810 --> 00:11:52,177
-[Lawrence] Would you?
-No!
316
00:11:52,179 --> 00:11:55,780
I'm like 65
in threesome years.
317
00:11:56,750 --> 00:11:58,450
I mean, honestly...
318
00:11:59,986 --> 00:12:02,087
I just want what Mel has.
319
00:12:02,089 --> 00:12:04,189
[coughing]
What do I have?
320
00:12:04,191 --> 00:12:06,024
[Lawrence]
Yeah, what does she have?
321
00:12:06,026 --> 00:12:08,026
[metallic clicking]
322
00:12:11,031 --> 00:12:13,164
[James]
There she is, there she is.
323
00:12:13,166 --> 00:12:16,468
-You makin'-- You makin' toast?
-[James] Hi. Yes, I am.
324
00:12:16,470 --> 00:12:18,336
-Oh, okay.
-[James] Ooh!
325
00:12:18,338 --> 00:12:21,506
Ah, I wasn't gonna
do this tonight,
but I figured
326
00:12:21,508 --> 00:12:24,142
since I'm-- I'm in
a really good mood tonight,
327
00:12:24,144 --> 00:12:27,912
and all you beautiful people
are here, so...
328
00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:28,980
Whoo.
329
00:12:28,982 --> 00:12:30,749
-Wow.
-[both laugh]
330
00:12:30,751 --> 00:12:33,151
-So, Mel...
-Yeah?
331
00:12:34,187 --> 00:12:36,821
-You're my best friend.
-Oh.
332
00:12:36,823 --> 00:12:38,423
And I love you.
333
00:12:38,425 --> 00:12:40,225
Will you marry me?
334
00:12:45,799 --> 00:12:47,465
Mel.
335
00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:49,501
Mel...
336
00:12:49,503 --> 00:12:51,536
-What?
-Will you marry me?
337
00:12:51,538 --> 00:12:53,304
-Yes.
-Ah!
338
00:12:53,306 --> 00:12:56,107
-Yeah! Why not?
-[crowd cheering]
339
00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:12,090
[solemn music playing]
340
00:13:19,399 --> 00:13:21,299
[upbeat music playing]
341
00:13:26,406 --> 00:13:27,939
[phone dings]
342
00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:35,079
[Ben] That sushi in your pic looks delicious.
343
00:13:35,081 --> 00:13:36,948
Where is it?
344
00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:40,885
[Allison] It's this place called Fish Giza.
345
00:13:40,887 --> 00:13:42,887
Mmm, it's so good.
346
00:13:42,889 --> 00:13:44,856
You have to go.
347
00:13:44,858 --> 00:13:48,126
[Ben] I know that place. I live right near it.
348
00:13:48,128 --> 00:13:50,562
Oh, my gosh,
I'm so jealous.
349
00:13:50,564 --> 00:13:53,198
I would kill
to live near there.
350
00:13:54,100 --> 00:13:56,167
Not me, I hope.
351
00:13:58,905 --> 00:14:01,172
[laughs]
352
00:14:02,075 --> 00:14:04,175
So what do you do for work?
353
00:14:16,990 --> 00:14:20,625
-[phone dings]
-I'm in hotel management.
354
00:14:20,627 --> 00:14:23,027
So are you up to anything this weekend?
355
00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:25,029
Wanna grab a drink?
356
00:14:28,335 --> 00:14:29,934
Oh, come on!
357
00:14:29,936 --> 00:14:32,503
-[man] Been drivin' long?
-Yeah, like six months.
358
00:14:32,505 --> 00:14:34,138
-Oh, wow.
-Yeah.
359
00:14:34,140 --> 00:14:36,107
-[phone buttons clicking]
-Yeah, it's good.
360
00:14:36,109 --> 00:14:37,942
Makes good money, I hear.
361
00:14:37,944 --> 00:14:39,110
-Yeah, it can.
-Yeah?
362
00:14:39,112 --> 00:14:40,411
-It depends.
-Yeah.
363
00:14:40,413 --> 00:14:42,113
Um, the most important thing
364
00:14:42,115 --> 00:14:44,616
is just it allows
my schedule to be flexible.
365
00:14:44,618 --> 00:14:46,351
-Right.
-Yeah.
366
00:14:46,353 --> 00:14:48,887
-What do you do?
-I'm a director.
367
00:14:48,889 --> 00:14:50,922
What do you direct?
That's cool.
368
00:14:50,924 --> 00:14:52,490
Reality television, mostly.
369
00:14:52,492 --> 00:14:54,292
Oh, would I--
Would I know any of it?
370
00:14:54,294 --> 00:14:57,061
Um, I pretty much
do the shows
371
00:14:57,063 --> 00:14:59,197
where fat white
men find trash
372
00:14:59,199 --> 00:15:00,531
and sell it
to other fat white men
373
00:15:00,533 --> 00:15:01,599
for small amounts of money.
374
00:15:01,601 --> 00:15:03,101
Right up my alley. [laughs]
375
00:15:03,103 --> 00:15:05,069
Do you, um--
Do you like it?
376
00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:07,472
-Is it fun?
-Sorry. This is
actually really important.
377
00:15:07,474 --> 00:15:10,141
Oh! Totally, no problem.
378
00:15:10,143 --> 00:15:12,343
-Sorry.
-No, it's all right.
379
00:15:12,345 --> 00:15:14,412
[woman] Just like,
I don't know if my life
380
00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:16,381
is really, really lost.
381
00:15:16,383 --> 00:15:18,116
What do you like to do?
382
00:15:18,118 --> 00:15:21,986
I like to watch
Law and Order reruns,
383
00:15:21,988 --> 00:15:24,122
uh, particularly
with Mariska Hargitay.
384
00:15:24,124 --> 00:15:26,925
-I think she's incredible.
-Okay. Definitely.
385
00:15:26,927 --> 00:15:28,927
Well, have you thought
about being a cop?
386
00:15:28,929 --> 00:15:31,930
-[scoffs] No.
-[turn signal clicking]
387
00:15:36,336 --> 00:15:38,236
Um, why are we stopping?
388
00:15:38,238 --> 00:15:39,938
You picked
Swyft Pools,
389
00:15:39,940 --> 00:15:41,572
so there's
another passenger.
390
00:15:41,574 --> 00:15:44,075
Oh, but I didn't know that,
so can we just leave him?
391
00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:49,547
-Hey.
-Hey.
392
00:15:49,549 --> 00:15:52,016
Hi. So, your destination
didn't come through.
393
00:15:52,018 --> 00:15:53,451
Where are you headed?
394
00:15:58,258 --> 00:16:00,458
[Allison laughs]
I'm from Wisconsin.
395
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:03,294
You know, I don't think
I've ever met anybody
from Wisconsin before.
396
00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:05,563
Well, yeah.
It's like this small,
397
00:16:05,565 --> 00:16:08,333
Lutheran town
outside of Madison.
398
00:16:08,335 --> 00:16:10,568
You're Lutheran?
I don't think I've ever met
399
00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:13,037
-one of those before.
-Aw, I must be
400
00:16:13,039 --> 00:16:15,340
-really exotic to you.
-[jazz playing over speakers]
401
00:16:15,342 --> 00:16:17,575
Yeah, yeah.
God, you are.
402
00:16:17,577 --> 00:16:22,313
I feel like I'm on a date
with a unicorn or something.
403
00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:24,382
[stammers]
Where in L.A. do you live?
404
00:16:24,384 --> 00:16:26,551
I'm sorry,
did you already tell me that?
I-I have this thing
405
00:16:26,553 --> 00:16:28,987
where if I read something
on my phone, I like
instantly forget it.
406
00:16:28,989 --> 00:16:31,990
No, no,
I don't-- I don't think
we went over that.
407
00:16:31,992 --> 00:16:33,391
-I live in Silverlake.
-Oh, nice.
408
00:16:33,393 --> 00:16:36,127
Yeah, my ex, Rachel,
lives in Silverlake.
409
00:16:36,129 --> 00:16:38,329
[laughs]
Which I'm sure
is very interesting to you.
410
00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:39,998
God, I'm sorry.
411
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,033
I'm just realizing
how bad I am at this.
412
00:16:42,035 --> 00:16:43,368
[chuckles]
413
00:16:43,370 --> 00:16:44,435
This is very uncomfortable,
isn't it?
414
00:16:44,437 --> 00:16:46,170
No.
415
00:16:48,008 --> 00:16:49,173
It's not--
416
00:16:49,175 --> 00:16:50,508
It's not.
417
00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:53,077
Not uncomfortable.
418
00:16:53,079 --> 00:16:55,213
Okay, new game plan.
Why don't you get another drink,
419
00:16:55,215 --> 00:16:57,215
and I'm just going
to walk outside and
quietly step into traffic.
420
00:16:57,217 --> 00:16:59,517
[laughs]
It's okay.
It's fine, really.
421
00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:01,753
Uh, I remember
422
00:17:01,755 --> 00:17:05,456
what it's like dating again
after a break-up.
423
00:17:07,060 --> 00:17:09,193
Uh, how long has it been?
424
00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:11,696
She broke up with
me about six months ago.
425
00:17:12,732 --> 00:17:14,198
He said I dumped him?
426
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:16,401
Are you kidding me?
It was mutual.
427
00:17:16,403 --> 00:17:19,337
[Rachel]
We were in a bad place for almost a year.
428
00:17:19,339 --> 00:17:21,773
Ben was unhappy, I was unhappy.
429
00:17:21,775 --> 00:17:24,108
I felt like everything I said annoyed him,
430
00:17:24,110 --> 00:17:27,078
and I resented him
for making me feel that way.
431
00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:29,313
Things were great between us.
I mean, they weren't like
432
00:17:29,315 --> 00:17:31,416
they were at the beginning, but, you know, they never are.
433
00:17:31,418 --> 00:17:34,652
We had a good connection. Things were fine. Really.
434
00:17:34,654 --> 00:17:37,755
And then one night,
totally organically,
435
00:17:37,757 --> 00:17:39,757
we just broke down,
436
00:17:39,759 --> 00:17:42,593
and started talking
to each other.
437
00:17:42,595 --> 00:17:44,729
Then one night,
she totally blindsides me
438
00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:46,764
and says, "We need
to talk about our relationship."
439
00:17:46,766 --> 00:17:48,833
Then she just starts listing off all the terrible things
440
00:17:48,835 --> 00:17:50,501
I've done to her over the past year.
441
00:17:50,503 --> 00:17:53,237
I mean, she's tiny,
but she's got the memory
442
00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:55,173
of a fuckin' elephant.
It was...
443
00:17:55,175 --> 00:17:57,608
Great.
We were completely honest
444
00:17:57,610 --> 00:17:59,644
about the way
that we were feeling
445
00:17:59,646 --> 00:18:01,179
and what we wanted.
446
00:18:01,181 --> 00:18:03,815
It was just like old times.
447
00:18:03,817 --> 00:18:05,817
We laughed about our past
448
00:18:05,819 --> 00:18:07,418
and we promised each other
449
00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:09,087
that we would love each other forever
450
00:18:09,089 --> 00:18:11,255
and we'd be in each other's lives.
451
00:18:12,158 --> 00:18:13,491
And it was over.
452
00:18:14,260 --> 00:18:15,726
Well, that was until
453
00:18:15,728 --> 00:18:17,462
five days later when he showed up
454
00:18:17,464 --> 00:18:19,330
at my place completely drunk.
455
00:18:19,332 --> 00:18:22,100
Called me a bitch, vomited in my vase
456
00:18:22,102 --> 00:18:23,768
and then unfriended me on Facebook.
457
00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:25,736
Why would I want to be
her Facebook friend?
458
00:18:25,738 --> 00:18:27,538
Why would I want
to see photos of her
459
00:18:27,540 --> 00:18:29,774
and be constantly reminded--
You know, there was a time
460
00:18:29,776 --> 00:18:32,543
when we used to break-up
and just never see
each other again.
461
00:18:32,545 --> 00:18:34,378
Just wander off
to the next town,
462
00:18:34,380 --> 00:18:36,214
meet a girl,
get Syphilis and die.
463
00:18:36,216 --> 00:18:38,449
The Facebook thing hurt more
than I thought it would.
464
00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:41,319
We had 257 mutual friends,
465
00:18:41,321 --> 00:18:43,354
dozens of photos
tagged together,
466
00:18:43,356 --> 00:18:47,158
and hundreds of inside jokes
posted on each other's wall.
467
00:18:48,161 --> 00:18:50,428
And now it was all...
468
00:18:51,197 --> 00:18:53,297
And I broke up with him.
469
00:18:56,169 --> 00:18:57,502
Ben. Ben.
470
00:18:57,504 --> 00:18:59,637
I'm gonna have sex
with you, okay?
471
00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:02,206
But I just feel like
I need to do this
472
00:19:02,208 --> 00:19:04,242
because it's been a long time
since I've been with anyone
473
00:19:04,244 --> 00:19:07,211
who isn't Peter, but I want
to be totally honest with you.
474
00:19:07,213 --> 00:19:10,281
I don't want to see you again
after tonight, okay?
475
00:19:10,283 --> 00:19:13,484
You're clearly not
in a good place emotionally.
476
00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:14,919
You're sensibly unemployed,
477
00:19:14,921 --> 00:19:16,621
and like a majority
of your jokes
478
00:19:16,623 --> 00:19:18,389
make me really uncomfortable.
479
00:19:18,391 --> 00:19:20,158
So, yeah.
480
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:23,227
I just want to be
up front with you about that.
481
00:19:23,229 --> 00:19:25,396
So we're going to have sex?
482
00:19:26,900 --> 00:19:28,633
-[unzips zipper]
-Oh, God.
483
00:19:28,635 --> 00:19:30,301
[Mel] Isn't it weird that just a few hours before
484
00:19:30,303 --> 00:19:31,903
-she was a total stranger?
-[Ben] She's cute.
485
00:19:31,905 --> 00:19:33,604
I think that's kind of
what I like about it.
486
00:19:33,606 --> 00:19:35,606
-What?
-My life is full of people
487
00:19:35,608 --> 00:19:38,543
I grew up with
or I went to school with,
or I work with,
488
00:19:38,545 --> 00:19:40,645
and it's kind of
a narrow cross-section,
if you think about it.
489
00:19:40,647 --> 00:19:42,213
-It's like educated artists--
-[Lawrence] Ben--
490
00:19:42,215 --> 00:19:43,848
-I am not an artist.
-What I mean is,
491
00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:46,484
I rarely meet people who are
truly different than me.
492
00:19:46,486 --> 00:19:48,819
With this, you know,
I can kind of expand beyond
493
00:19:48,821 --> 00:19:50,321
my immediate bubble.
494
00:19:50,323 --> 00:19:51,689
What about Rachel?
She's Chinese.
495
00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:53,491
-She's outside your bubble.
-Adopted.
496
00:19:53,493 --> 00:19:55,493
She's more Jewish than I am.
And the private school
497
00:19:55,495 --> 00:19:57,495
she went to had an
even smaller class than mine.
498
00:19:57,497 --> 00:19:59,430
[James] So, when are you
going to see this girl again?
499
00:19:59,432 --> 00:20:01,432
[Ben]
I don't know. She texted me.
500
00:20:01,434 --> 00:20:03,601
But, uh, I got a couple more
dates coming up next week,
501
00:20:03,603 --> 00:20:05,670
so I'm gonna kinda
see how things go.
502
00:20:05,672 --> 00:20:07,772
Yeah, good call.
Play the field,
503
00:20:07,774 --> 00:20:10,208
make an informed choice--
I like that.
504
00:20:10,210 --> 00:20:11,909
[Lawrence]
Take it from an expert,
505
00:20:11,911 --> 00:20:13,544
people aren't that different.
506
00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:15,913
I mean, sure,
some people are Lutheran,
507
00:20:15,915 --> 00:20:17,381
some people are fat,
508
00:20:17,383 --> 00:20:19,684
some people grew up
in an igloo.
509
00:20:19,686 --> 00:20:22,286
But it's like
eating a thing of grapes.
510
00:20:22,288 --> 00:20:23,487
Like, some are a little sweeter,
511
00:20:23,489 --> 00:20:24,889
some are a little tartier,
512
00:20:24,891 --> 00:20:27,291
some are weird and pruny.
513
00:20:27,293 --> 00:20:30,428
But at the end of the day,
they all taste like grapes.
514
00:20:30,430 --> 00:20:32,797
-[Ben whistles] Oh...
-[all snap fingers]
515
00:20:32,799 --> 00:20:34,832
I'm just-- Look--
No, I'm just sayin',
516
00:20:34,834 --> 00:20:37,301
don't get your hopes up--
a grape is a grape.
517
00:20:37,303 --> 00:20:39,537
-[Mel] Food...
-[James] Yes, it is.
518
00:20:41,241 --> 00:20:43,474
-[Ben] Thank you.
-[waiter] You're welcome.
519
00:20:43,476 --> 00:20:45,543
-[James] Thank you, sir.
-[utensils clanging]
520
00:20:45,545 --> 00:20:48,479
-[waiter]
Can I get you anything else?
-I think we're good, thank you.
521
00:20:48,481 --> 00:20:50,014
[waiter] Enjoy.
522
00:20:52,252 --> 00:20:53,751
Is that Marco?
523
00:20:53,753 --> 00:20:55,386
That's why you were
so desperate to come here?
524
00:20:55,388 --> 00:20:57,355
-Who's Marco?
-Shh.
525
00:20:57,357 --> 00:20:58,956
Oh, I ordered
the wrong thing.
526
00:20:58,958 --> 00:21:01,959
-Can I have yours
instead, boo? Thank you.
-I was-- Um--
527
00:21:01,961 --> 00:21:04,262
-[whispering] Who's Marco?
-Mm-mm.
528
00:21:04,264 --> 00:21:07,331
-I want to know about Marco.
-Quiet. Don't say it again.
529
00:21:07,333 --> 00:21:09,033
Say it again.
530
00:21:11,304 --> 00:21:12,903
I really fucking
envy you, man.
531
00:21:12,905 --> 00:21:14,805
Don't.
It's not all great.
532
00:21:14,807 --> 00:21:16,540
I meet this one girl
a few days ago,
533
00:21:16,542 --> 00:21:17,875
and she's really weird.
534
00:21:17,877 --> 00:21:19,343
I'm so wet right now.
535
00:21:19,345 --> 00:21:21,345
Yeah?
I mean, cool.
536
00:21:21,347 --> 00:21:23,848
I'm gonna take a nice,
relaxing shower.
537
00:21:23,850 --> 00:21:26,317
-Do you wanna watch?
-Yeah, sure.
538
00:21:26,319 --> 00:21:27,985
Great.
Just click the link below
539
00:21:27,987 --> 00:21:29,754
-to accept my invite.
-What?
540
00:21:29,756 --> 00:21:31,489
These bots
are getting really good.
541
00:21:31,491 --> 00:21:33,291
We had a two hour conversation
about Wes Anderson
542
00:21:33,293 --> 00:21:34,892
before I realized
I wasn't talking to anybody.
543
00:21:34,894 --> 00:21:37,461
Yeah, but for the most part,
it's really easy, right?
544
00:21:37,463 --> 00:21:38,963
Eh...
545
00:21:38,965 --> 00:21:41,065
If I were you,
I would go on a fucking tear.
546
00:21:41,067 --> 00:21:42,633
[chuckles]
547
00:21:42,635 --> 00:21:44,068
You know I've only had
sex with two women, right?
548
00:21:44,070 --> 00:21:45,836
There you are.
Can we go, please?
549
00:21:45,838 --> 00:21:47,638
'Cause I'm tryin' to cut down
on the amount of time
550
00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:49,507
I spend with heteros
and I'm way over my limit
551
00:21:49,509 --> 00:21:50,708
for the month.
552
00:21:50,710 --> 00:21:51,942
[keyboard clacking]
553
00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:56,580
-Oh, my God.
-What?
554
00:21:57,450 --> 00:21:59,350
Brilliant idea.
555
00:21:59,352 --> 00:22:00,685
What's up?
556
00:22:00,687 --> 00:22:03,354
We should make
Tinder accounts.
557
00:22:05,325 --> 00:22:06,957
What-- Why?
558
00:22:06,959 --> 00:22:10,328
So we can look
at other people's
profiles and judge them.
559
00:22:10,330 --> 00:22:12,363
Duh. [laughs]
560
00:22:12,999 --> 00:22:14,598
Come on, we won't--
561
00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:16,367
We won't message anyone,
562
00:22:16,369 --> 00:22:19,103
and we'll just delete
our accounts after tonight.
563
00:22:20,406 --> 00:22:22,807
Come on, it'll be fun.
564
00:22:22,809 --> 00:22:24,709
What picture
are you using?
565
00:22:24,711 --> 00:22:26,744
I'm using the one
from my boat trip,
566
00:22:26,746 --> 00:22:29,714
where the sun is in my eyes
and my face is all like...
567
00:22:29,716 --> 00:22:33,417
God. The one that
Blowjob Wiggins liked.
568
00:22:33,419 --> 00:22:35,553
Have you noticed that
in every one of her photos,
569
00:22:35,555 --> 00:22:37,855
she, she stretches her neck out
570
00:22:37,857 --> 00:22:40,891
like an ostrich. She--
571
00:22:40,893 --> 00:22:42,526
You're not even
her friend on Facebook.
572
00:22:42,528 --> 00:22:44,628
I go into
your profile sometimes.
573
00:22:45,765 --> 00:22:47,631
You don't look pretty
in the picture.
574
00:22:47,633 --> 00:22:49,433
You look constipated.
575
00:22:50,470 --> 00:22:52,570
[police siren blaring
in distance]
576
00:22:57,877 --> 00:23:00,745
[swiping sound]
577
00:23:02,415 --> 00:23:04,682
How many matches
do you have?
578
00:23:04,684 --> 00:23:06,717
Only 38. You?
579
00:23:06,719 --> 00:23:09,053
"Only 38"?
I have two.
580
00:23:09,622 --> 00:23:11,422
Let me see.
581
00:23:13,893 --> 00:23:16,794
Oh, well,
this Erin girl is a bot.
582
00:23:16,796 --> 00:23:18,662
Okay, great.
So I have one.
583
00:23:18,664 --> 00:23:21,065
Yeah, but Gwen
just messaged you.
584
00:23:21,067 --> 00:23:22,666
Really?
585
00:23:22,668 --> 00:23:24,568
What did she say?
586
00:23:25,538 --> 00:23:27,905
"You look like
you have to...
587
00:23:28,908 --> 00:23:30,641
poop."
588
00:23:30,643 --> 00:23:33,110
-That's not funny.
-[Mel laughs]
589
00:23:33,112 --> 00:23:35,546
Some of my messages
are really lude.
590
00:23:35,548 --> 00:23:38,082
Tyler says
I have a fuckable ass.
591
00:23:38,084 --> 00:23:39,550
We know that.
592
00:23:39,552 --> 00:23:42,453
Jordan says that he would like
593
00:23:42,455 --> 00:23:44,622
to eat me out for a year.
594
00:23:44,624 --> 00:23:46,190
A year, James.
595
00:23:46,192 --> 00:23:48,859
One time I said I wasn't crazy
about cunnilingus,
596
00:23:48,861 --> 00:23:50,494
and that was because
you said you felt--
597
00:23:50,496 --> 00:23:52,096
you felt
self-conscious about it.
598
00:23:52,098 --> 00:23:54,098
What-- No, I'm just saying
because of the message.
599
00:23:54,100 --> 00:23:56,100
No, this is what's wrong
with these apps, all right.
600
00:23:56,102 --> 00:23:57,868
It just gives
a bunch a pervs a reason
601
00:23:57,870 --> 00:23:59,937
to verbally assault women
on these forums.
602
00:23:59,939 --> 00:24:01,939
Why are you being
so angry and feminist?
603
00:24:01,941 --> 00:24:04,742
-I'm not, okay. I di--
-Most of us actually care--
604
00:24:04,744 --> 00:24:06,610
I didn't want to do this.
605
00:24:07,647 --> 00:24:09,914
[swiping sound]
606
00:24:13,586 --> 00:24:15,019
[sighs]
607
00:24:22,495 --> 00:24:24,695
[keyboard clacking softly]
608
00:24:41,013 --> 00:24:42,780
Over the past three months,
I have been on
609
00:24:42,782 --> 00:24:45,015
16 different dates
with 16 different women,
610
00:24:45,017 --> 00:24:46,851
and for the most part,
611
00:24:46,853 --> 00:24:49,119
these women, who I suddenly found in front of me
612
00:24:49,121 --> 00:24:52,022
were pretty attractive and intelligent.
613
00:24:52,024 --> 00:24:54,258
I'm just finishing up
my master's in econ.
614
00:24:54,260 --> 00:24:56,193
But my real passion
is poetry.
615
00:24:56,195 --> 00:24:59,230
And they all had really interesting things to say.
616
00:24:59,232 --> 00:25:01,732
Did you know that
an adult eagle
617
00:25:01,734 --> 00:25:04,702
can pick up
a full grown deer
618
00:25:04,704 --> 00:25:07,171
-and fly away with it?
-That's very interesting.
619
00:25:07,173 --> 00:25:08,672
I mean, it's not
contextually relevant,
620
00:25:08,674 --> 00:25:10,274
but it's very--
it's interesting.
621
00:25:10,276 --> 00:25:12,009
And they all had different jobs and passions.
622
00:25:12,011 --> 00:25:13,744
I'm in financial planning.
623
00:25:13,746 --> 00:25:15,813
I'm in the police academy.
624
00:25:15,815 --> 00:25:18,849
I'm a social media branding
coordination strategist.
625
00:25:18,851 --> 00:25:21,752
-That's not a thing.
-Yeah, you're right.
626
00:25:21,754 --> 00:25:23,954
I think I got the hang of things pretty quickly.
627
00:25:23,956 --> 00:25:26,557
You know, asking questions that were interesting,
628
00:25:26,559 --> 00:25:28,626
but not too prying, giving compliments
629
00:25:28,628 --> 00:25:30,761
that were specific without being creepy,
630
00:25:30,763 --> 00:25:33,964
seeming at once accessible, and aloof.
631
00:25:35,535 --> 00:25:38,235
-[moaning] Oh, God.
-Oh, God.
632
00:25:38,237 --> 00:25:39,537
Oh, God!
633
00:25:39,539 --> 00:25:41,305
[different woman]
Oh, God!
634
00:25:41,307 --> 00:25:43,073
Oh, God!
635
00:25:45,044 --> 00:25:47,645
-Did you just cum?
-Maybe.
636
00:25:47,647 --> 00:25:49,580
They weren't all great dates.
Some of them were
637
00:25:49,582 --> 00:25:51,015
completely disinterested in me.
638
00:25:51,017 --> 00:25:52,783
Do you like working
in communications?
639
00:25:52,785 --> 00:25:53,884
[buttons clacking]
640
00:25:53,886 --> 00:25:55,586
Or very uncomfortable.
641
00:25:55,588 --> 00:25:58,188
I, uh--
Well, you see, um--
642
00:25:58,190 --> 00:25:59,823
But when--
643
00:25:59,825 --> 00:26:01,625
Or entirely too comfortable.
644
00:26:01,627 --> 00:26:03,127
Can I get you
something to drink?
645
00:26:03,129 --> 00:26:04,862
Oh, sorry, I can't drink.
646
00:26:04,864 --> 00:26:07,631
I'm on this new medication
for an infection I have.
647
00:26:07,633 --> 00:26:10,334
Oh. That was
probably T.M.I., right?
648
00:26:10,336 --> 00:26:12,803
My psychiatrist says
I need to use better judgment
649
00:26:12,805 --> 00:26:14,238
about when it's okay
to be honest.
650
00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:15,739
It's fine.
651
00:26:15,741 --> 00:26:17,308
Heh. Let's just talk
about something else.
652
00:26:17,310 --> 00:26:19,176
Are both your parents living?
Because mine aren't.
653
00:26:19,178 --> 00:26:22,346
I began to feel less
like I was going on dates,
654
00:26:22,348 --> 00:26:24,815
and more like
I was interviewing them
for some kind of census.
655
00:26:24,817 --> 00:26:26,717
The same questions,
the same answers.
656
00:26:26,719 --> 00:26:28,852
And soon, all these women
who had seemed
657
00:26:28,854 --> 00:26:30,254
so different and unique,
658
00:26:30,256 --> 00:26:32,089
all started
to sort of blend together.
659
00:26:32,091 --> 00:26:34,658
I started noticing patterns,
like how a lot of the ones
660
00:26:34,660 --> 00:26:38,662
who swipe right on me,
loved intramural soccer
and Boba tea,
661
00:26:38,664 --> 00:26:40,664
and how they all seemed
to have these really great
662
00:26:40,666 --> 00:26:43,901
and hilarious older brothers,
named like, Greg or Steve.
663
00:26:43,903 --> 00:26:46,904
Also, I realized that
I had great text chemistry
664
00:26:46,906 --> 00:26:49,807
with girls who liked anime,
but the second we met up...
665
00:26:49,809 --> 00:26:51,308
I don't like you.
666
00:26:56,949 --> 00:26:58,749
[phone shutter clicks]
667
00:26:58,751 --> 00:27:01,919
Oh, um, now, I actually
wanted to tell you something.
668
00:27:01,921 --> 00:27:07,358
I met up with that couple
I was telling you about, and...
669
00:27:07,360 --> 00:27:09,627
Well, I had a three-way!
670
00:27:10,663 --> 00:27:12,363
When?
671
00:27:12,365 --> 00:27:14,231
Three months ago.
672
00:27:14,233 --> 00:27:15,933
And you're
just telling me now?
673
00:27:15,935 --> 00:27:17,668
Can you take a photo of me?
674
00:27:17,670 --> 00:27:19,336
Ever since Ben unfriended me,
there's literally
675
00:27:19,338 --> 00:27:21,372
no good pictures
of me online.
676
00:27:21,374 --> 00:27:22,773
[phone shutter clicks]
677
00:27:22,775 --> 00:27:24,308
So how was it?
678
00:27:24,310 --> 00:27:27,144
-My cheeks look weird.
-The three-way, Rachel.
679
00:27:27,146 --> 00:27:29,279
I liked it. I mean
all the attention.
680
00:27:29,281 --> 00:27:31,048
It felt good.
681
00:27:31,050 --> 00:27:34,351
[laughs] I just can't believe
that you, you did that.
682
00:27:34,353 --> 00:27:36,654
You and James should try it.
683
00:27:36,656 --> 00:27:39,690
Yeah, well, I think
James and I can manage
684
00:27:39,692 --> 00:27:42,126
without boinking
weird strangers.
685
00:27:43,696 --> 00:27:45,062
All right.
686
00:27:46,699 --> 00:27:48,966
I'm sorry...
687
00:27:48,968 --> 00:27:50,968
I'm a little jealous,
I guess.
688
00:27:50,970 --> 00:27:52,736
What? Really?
689
00:27:52,738 --> 00:27:54,805
Yeah. It--
690
00:27:54,807 --> 00:27:58,809
I don't know,
I feel like I'm in
middle school again, and...
691
00:27:58,811 --> 00:28:01,078
I don't know, I just--
I'm not very experienced,
692
00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:02,813
and it's stupid. Just--
693
00:28:02,815 --> 00:28:06,316
Mel, you have nothing
to be jealous about.
694
00:28:06,318 --> 00:28:09,219
Honestly, my therapist said
that the only reason why
695
00:28:09,221 --> 00:28:11,889
I did it was because I was
having a panicky reaction
696
00:28:11,891 --> 00:28:13,290
to your engagement.
697
00:28:13,292 --> 00:28:15,459
Really?
You mean that?
698
00:28:15,461 --> 00:28:17,327
I only saw them once,
then I started
699
00:28:17,329 --> 00:28:18,962
hooking up
with a couple Tinder randos.
700
00:28:18,964 --> 00:28:20,264
How many?
701
00:28:21,834 --> 00:28:23,267
[Rachel moans]
702
00:28:23,269 --> 00:28:24,802
Wait...
703
00:28:24,804 --> 00:28:27,771
Is this another dude's
blue Oxford button down?
704
00:28:28,441 --> 00:28:29,740
Uh...
705
00:28:29,742 --> 00:28:30,941
Uh...
706
00:28:30,943 --> 00:28:32,376
Two or three, I think.
707
00:28:32,378 --> 00:28:35,179
Then I started dating
this older guy, Richard.
708
00:28:35,181 --> 00:28:37,815
-How old?
-Forties.
709
00:28:40,486 --> 00:28:42,853
[phone vibrates]
710
00:28:42,855 --> 00:28:46,457
I think someone...
in your family might've died.
711
00:28:46,459 --> 00:28:49,359
-What?
-Your phone has been vibrating
712
00:28:49,361 --> 00:28:51,195
-for the past 30 minutes.
-Oh.
713
00:28:51,197 --> 00:28:53,063
Someone's desperately trying
to get a hold of you.
714
00:28:53,065 --> 00:28:54,732
Mmm. That-- No.
715
00:28:54,734 --> 00:28:56,033
[scoffs]
716
00:28:56,035 --> 00:28:58,001
I'm just a part of
three group texts.
717
00:28:58,003 --> 00:29:00,137
Either someone is having
an emotional breakdown
718
00:29:00,139 --> 00:29:01,772
or brunch plans
are being made.
719
00:29:01,774 --> 00:29:03,373
-[laughs]
-Either way, no big deal.
720
00:29:07,747 --> 00:29:09,980
[grunts]
I have an idea.
721
00:29:12,284 --> 00:29:13,484
What--?
722
00:29:14,887 --> 00:29:16,353
Follow me.
723
00:29:17,289 --> 00:29:20,023
Richard, where are you going?
724
00:29:26,232 --> 00:29:27,531
Richard?
725
00:29:27,533 --> 00:29:30,134
[dramatic music playing]
726
00:29:38,144 --> 00:29:39,777
Richard, are you in there?
727
00:29:39,779 --> 00:29:41,545
[Richard]
Yeah, babe, come on in.
728
00:29:41,547 --> 00:29:43,881
[Rachel]
If this is your murder chamber,
729
00:29:43,883 --> 00:29:45,549
I'm gonna be so pissed.
730
00:29:50,856 --> 00:29:53,257
Why are you sweating so much?
731
00:29:53,259 --> 00:29:55,425
So it turns out,
he's a chiropractor,
732
00:29:55,427 --> 00:29:58,095
and wanted to do work on me,
because apparently I have
733
00:29:58,097 --> 00:30:00,798
the back of an 80-year-old
with double D's.
734
00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:03,500
I think in like,
three dates,
735
00:30:03,502 --> 00:30:06,870
he did over a thousand dollars
with of chiropractic work on me.
736
00:30:06,872 --> 00:30:09,006
Wow! Are you
still seeing him?
737
00:30:09,008 --> 00:30:12,209
Not really.
I mean, my back is fixed.
738
00:30:12,211 --> 00:30:15,245
-Hey, Mel.
-Dustin. [chuckles]
739
00:30:15,247 --> 00:30:16,947
You know, I was actually
just thinking about you.
740
00:30:16,949 --> 00:30:19,016
Really? Uh, cool.
741
00:30:19,018 --> 00:30:21,218
This is my friend Rachel.
Rachel, Dustin.
742
00:30:21,220 --> 00:30:23,020
How is it goin'? You know,
I've actually seen
743
00:30:23,022 --> 00:30:25,255
some of your stuff on YouTube,
and your imitation
744
00:30:25,257 --> 00:30:28,091
of a masturbating octopus
is pretty funny.
745
00:30:28,093 --> 00:30:31,361
Thank you.
That actually came
from a very real place.
746
00:30:31,363 --> 00:30:33,030
Oh, I can tell because
747
00:30:33,032 --> 00:30:36,500
I am a quarter jellyfish
on my father's side.
748
00:30:36,502 --> 00:30:39,503
Really? I swore
I saw a stingray in you.
749
00:30:39,505 --> 00:30:41,538
-[laughs]
-So why were you thinking of me?
750
00:30:41,540 --> 00:30:44,174
Oh. Um, because
I promised a friend of mine
751
00:30:44,176 --> 00:30:46,210
who works for this retirement
facility that I would come in
752
00:30:46,212 --> 00:30:48,478
and do some improv exercises
with the residents tomorrow,
753
00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:51,248
and I was hoping I might find
a teacher's assistant?
754
00:30:51,250 --> 00:30:53,083
-You got one.
-Great.
755
00:30:53,085 --> 00:30:54,918
I'll text you the address.
756
00:30:54,920 --> 00:30:56,954
Rachel, you should come too.
757
00:30:56,956 --> 00:31:00,357
Oh, no, she has
a regular 9 to 5 job, so--
758
00:31:00,359 --> 00:31:03,026
You know, my boss is actually
recovering from Coachella,
759
00:31:03,028 --> 00:31:04,595
so I have the whole week off.
760
00:31:04,597 --> 00:31:06,496
But you've
never done improv, so--
761
00:31:06,498 --> 00:31:08,332
Well, can't I just learn
as we go along?
762
00:31:08,334 --> 00:31:10,500
Isn't that how improv works?
763
00:31:10,502 --> 00:31:12,536
You improvise.
764
00:31:12,538 --> 00:31:14,037
She's an expert already.
765
00:31:14,039 --> 00:31:15,606
-Cool.
-Great.
766
00:31:16,909 --> 00:31:19,576
Hello,
Sunshine Senior Care Center.
767
00:31:19,578 --> 00:31:21,311
-Ha-ha.
-[dead quiet response]
768
00:31:21,313 --> 00:31:23,614
How's everybody doin'?
769
00:31:26,151 --> 00:31:28,886
Okay, um, my name is Dustin,
770
00:31:28,888 --> 00:31:33,257
and I'm going to teach you
some improvisational exercises.
771
00:31:36,095 --> 00:31:38,662
Why don't we, uh,
do an exercise?
772
00:31:38,664 --> 00:31:41,164
I bet that'll make sense,
get things moving.
773
00:31:41,166 --> 00:31:44,468
Uh, Melissa and Rachel,
you guys wanna come up here?
774
00:31:47,006 --> 00:31:51,174
Okay. Um, now,
they're gonna walk around,
775
00:31:51,176 --> 00:31:54,311
and when I shout
an adjective or a noun,
776
00:31:54,313 --> 00:31:58,081
they're gonna change their walk
in accordance with that word.
777
00:31:58,083 --> 00:32:00,017
Okay, guys?
778
00:32:00,019 --> 00:32:01,518
Begin.
779
00:32:02,388 --> 00:32:03,954
Heavy.
780
00:32:03,956 --> 00:32:06,189
Make your walks heavier.
781
00:32:09,094 --> 00:32:10,560
Friendly.
782
00:32:13,699 --> 00:32:16,700
Wow, very friendly. [laughs]
783
00:32:16,702 --> 00:32:18,402
Um, okay...
784
00:32:18,404 --> 00:32:19,670
Snake.
785
00:32:21,140 --> 00:32:23,206
[Rachel making
slithering sounds]
786
00:32:24,543 --> 00:32:26,944
Um, o-- Okay then.
787
00:32:26,946 --> 00:32:28,512
Uh, I think everyone's got it.
788
00:32:28,514 --> 00:32:30,280
Uh, now it's your turn.
789
00:32:30,282 --> 00:32:32,549
[upbeat music playing]
790
00:33:22,568 --> 00:33:24,368
Thanks so much
for helping out.
791
00:33:24,370 --> 00:33:27,604
Definitely. And if you
ever need help with this again,
792
00:33:27,606 --> 00:33:30,007
or just want to hang out,
feel free to text me.
793
00:33:30,009 --> 00:33:33,043
I drive for Swyft now,
so my schedule's very flexible.
794
00:33:33,045 --> 00:33:35,112
I actually wanted
to talk to you.
795
00:33:35,114 --> 00:33:36,780
Uh, Jill from Pizza Hat
796
00:33:36,782 --> 00:33:40,083
just got staffed as a writer
on this MTV sitcom,
797
00:33:40,085 --> 00:33:43,053
so we're looking
for a new female to replace her,
798
00:33:43,055 --> 00:33:45,022
and I mentioned your name.
799
00:33:45,024 --> 00:33:47,257
You did? [laughs]
That's amazing.
800
00:33:47,259 --> 00:33:49,026
No, it's not decided yet.
801
00:33:49,028 --> 00:33:51,261
Um, it's between you
and a few other girls.
802
00:33:51,263 --> 00:33:53,330
Just let me know
when your next show is,
803
00:33:53,332 --> 00:33:55,565
and I'll bring Spike
and the other guys by
to check you out.
804
00:33:55,567 --> 00:33:59,436
Okay. Uh, I think we have one
at the end of the month.
805
00:33:59,438 --> 00:34:02,239
Hey, just throwing
this out there.
806
00:34:02,241 --> 00:34:05,275
Maybe you could bring on
more than one girl?
807
00:34:05,277 --> 00:34:07,177
Yeah, we talked about that,
808
00:34:07,179 --> 00:34:09,046
but Spike's pretty adamant.
809
00:34:09,048 --> 00:34:11,581
You know,
the six guy, one girl dynamic
810
00:34:11,583 --> 00:34:13,283
is what powers Pizza Hat, so...
811
00:34:13,285 --> 00:34:16,153
-That was so much fun.
-Told ya.
812
00:34:17,056 --> 00:34:19,289
Um, all right,
I got to go.
813
00:34:19,291 --> 00:34:21,658
-See you Saturday, Rach?
-All right, I'll see you then.
814
00:34:21,660 --> 00:34:23,293
Cool.
See you around, Melissa.
815
00:34:23,295 --> 00:34:24,761
And let me know
when that show is.
816
00:34:24,763 --> 00:34:26,329
[dry chuckle]
817
00:34:26,331 --> 00:34:27,764
What's on Saturday?
818
00:34:27,766 --> 00:34:30,634
Oh, Dustin invited
me to one of his shows.
819
00:34:30,636 --> 00:34:32,836
-That's okay, right?
-Of course it is.
820
00:34:32,838 --> 00:34:36,773
I just thought you said
improv makes you nervous?
821
00:34:37,443 --> 00:34:38,842
It does. I just--
822
00:34:38,844 --> 00:34:40,744
He seems so nice.
823
00:34:41,613 --> 00:34:43,213
Right.
824
00:34:43,215 --> 00:34:45,715
Mel, I actually wanted
to tell you something.
825
00:34:45,717 --> 00:34:47,851
-I saw James on Tinder.
-What?
826
00:34:47,853 --> 00:34:50,754
I was on the other day,
and he showed up.
827
00:34:50,756 --> 00:34:52,589
I mean, I wouldn't worry
too much about it.
828
00:34:52,591 --> 00:34:54,391
I'm sure
it was just a joke.
829
00:34:56,228 --> 00:35:00,297
We deleted the app on our phone
after the little experiment.
830
00:35:00,299 --> 00:35:03,533
But... you can re-download. That can happen, right?
831
00:35:11,176 --> 00:35:13,310
[Jazz music playing]
832
00:35:41,640 --> 00:35:43,907
I'm-- I'm so sorry
I'm late.
833
00:35:43,909 --> 00:35:45,775
Traffic was so shitty,
and my phone died,
834
00:35:45,777 --> 00:35:48,145
so I couldn't text you--
I hope you weren't waiting long.
835
00:35:48,147 --> 00:35:50,280
No, no, not at all.
Um, yeah, here.
836
00:35:50,282 --> 00:35:51,681
Okay.
837
00:35:53,919 --> 00:35:55,318
Oh. That was here.
838
00:35:55,320 --> 00:35:56,887
Oh, perfect.
839
00:35:56,889 --> 00:36:00,624
I'm just gonna--
So, Ben, you, um...
840
00:36:00,626 --> 00:36:02,759
Listen, Gabriele, the--
Uh...
841
00:36:02,761 --> 00:36:04,427
-How many times did you text me?
-[notifications dinging]
842
00:36:04,429 --> 00:36:06,663
I was just
concerned that, um--
843
00:36:06,665 --> 00:36:08,865
I just wanted to make sure
you were-- you were on--
844
00:36:08,867 --> 00:36:10,734
everything was--
I wasn't sure if
845
00:36:10,736 --> 00:36:12,402
-something had pa-- Um--
-[Gabriele scoffs]
846
00:36:12,404 --> 00:36:14,504
[laughing]
847
00:36:15,274 --> 00:36:16,473
Not cool.
848
00:36:16,475 --> 00:36:18,275
It's all right.
849
00:36:20,479 --> 00:36:22,279
-[Ben] Thank you very much.
-Thank you.
850
00:36:22,281 --> 00:36:24,948
So yeah, I took
the LSAT last month,
851
00:36:24,950 --> 00:36:26,917
and I'm working at the mall
and living at home
852
00:36:26,919 --> 00:36:28,585
while I wait
to hear back from schools.
853
00:36:28,587 --> 00:36:30,620
What made you
want to get into law?
854
00:36:30,622 --> 00:36:32,189
I have a really good
serious face.
855
00:36:32,191 --> 00:36:33,456
I just didn't want
to waste it.
856
00:36:33,458 --> 00:36:34,758
Oh, let's see it.
857
00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:36,493
Oh, yeah, that is
a good serious face.
858
00:36:36,495 --> 00:36:38,361
-You weren't kidding.
-I know, right?
859
00:36:38,363 --> 00:36:39,462
[chuckles]
860
00:36:39,464 --> 00:36:40,764
-Wanna sit?
-Yeah.
861
00:36:40,766 --> 00:36:42,399
-Yeah.
-Well, what about you?
862
00:36:42,401 --> 00:36:45,202
Tell me about
being a writer.
What do you write?
863
00:36:45,204 --> 00:36:46,803
Uh, well, I'd like
to write for television,
864
00:36:46,805 --> 00:36:49,239
which is stupid,
because everybody
wants to do that.
865
00:36:49,241 --> 00:36:50,473
Oh, cool. Like what?
866
00:36:50,475 --> 00:36:51,641
Uh, I really like drama.
867
00:36:51,643 --> 00:36:53,810
Like Breaking Bad, The Wire.
868
00:36:53,812 --> 00:36:55,645
-Like that.
-I haven't seen those.
869
00:36:55,647 --> 00:36:56,947
I don't watch
a lot of TV.
870
00:36:56,949 --> 00:36:59,216
So what have
you written for?
871
00:36:59,218 --> 00:37:00,617
Nothing yet.
872
00:37:00,619 --> 00:37:02,519
You kind of need to know
somebody to break in,
873
00:37:02,521 --> 00:37:04,454
so right now,
I must write click bait.
874
00:37:04,456 --> 00:37:06,656
Still, you're
following your dream.
875
00:37:06,658 --> 00:37:08,992
Yeah, I'm starting to think
I might be happier if I wasn't.
876
00:37:08,994 --> 00:37:11,361
-How do you mean?
-Well...
877
00:37:11,363 --> 00:37:13,597
Just like, my whole life,
every adult I've ever known--
878
00:37:13,599 --> 00:37:15,365
parents, teachers,
orthodontists--
879
00:37:15,367 --> 00:37:17,300
told me I'm special
and talented,
880
00:37:17,302 --> 00:37:19,269
and if I worked hard enough,
I could accomplish my dreams.
881
00:37:19,271 --> 00:37:21,004
You know, I got sent
to like writing camps
882
00:37:21,006 --> 00:37:23,607
and elite universities,
and special abroad programs,
883
00:37:23,609 --> 00:37:26,009
and now I'm here,
and I'm unemployed,
884
00:37:26,011 --> 00:37:28,411
and I'm competing against
thousands of other people
885
00:37:28,413 --> 00:37:30,580
who were told that they were
special and they were talented,
886
00:37:30,582 --> 00:37:32,882
and if they just worked
really hard, they could
accomplish their dreams,
887
00:37:32,884 --> 00:37:35,485
and there's just no way
we could all be that special.
888
00:37:35,487 --> 00:37:38,255
-You know?
-Mmm. Mmm.
889
00:37:38,257 --> 00:37:40,290
That sounds rough, dude.
890
00:37:40,292 --> 00:37:42,425
So I'm working
on an abroad program...
891
00:37:42,427 --> 00:37:43,827
-Oh, shit.
-I'm sorry. [chuckles]
892
00:37:43,829 --> 00:37:45,495
-No.
-It was a--
893
00:37:45,497 --> 00:37:46,730
No, you got me.
894
00:37:46,732 --> 00:37:50,467
Um, so what is
click bait?
895
00:37:51,503 --> 00:37:54,371
Um, it's like
an article with...
896
00:37:54,373 --> 00:37:56,906
a misleadingly
flashy headline
to get you to click on it.
897
00:37:56,908 --> 00:37:58,975
-Like what?
-Like the other week,
898
00:37:58,977 --> 00:38:01,378
a paparazzi took a photo of
Mark Ruffalo eating ice cream,
899
00:38:01,380 --> 00:38:03,013
and I wrote an article called,
"You'll Never Guess
900
00:38:03,015 --> 00:38:04,514
Where Mark Ruffalo Puts
His Ice Cream."
901
00:38:04,516 --> 00:38:06,316
Oh, I get it.
Because it implies
902
00:38:06,318 --> 00:38:08,518
Mark Ruffalo sticks
ice cream up his butt.
903
00:38:08,520 --> 00:38:10,487
-Yeah. That's really clever.
-Right. Yeah.
904
00:38:10,489 --> 00:38:12,055
Thank you.
I mean, well, for spam.
905
00:38:12,057 --> 00:38:14,391
No, it's funny.
You shouldn't be
so hard on yourself.
906
00:38:14,393 --> 00:38:17,627
Oh. Well, here's
my Swyft, so...
907
00:38:17,629 --> 00:38:19,596
Oh. Uh. Hey.
908
00:38:19,598 --> 00:38:21,831
-Do you want to go out again?
-Yeah. Yeah.
909
00:38:21,833 --> 00:38:23,633
-Tuesday?
-Oh, I can't do Tuesdays.
910
00:38:23,635 --> 00:38:25,902
No, yeah, that'd be great.
Sorry, it was a weird joke.
911
00:38:25,904 --> 00:38:28,338
-Yeah, Tuesday would be great.
-Okay, cool.
912
00:38:28,340 --> 00:38:30,373
I just didn't want to wait
three days to send you text.
913
00:38:30,375 --> 00:38:31,741
Yeah, I know.
914
00:38:31,743 --> 00:38:34,511
-Oh, would you mind?
-Oh, sure, yeah. Please.
915
00:38:34,513 --> 00:38:36,546
-Thank you.
-Thanks.
916
00:38:39,418 --> 00:38:43,353
¶ Let your mind be free ¶
917
00:38:43,355 --> 00:38:44,788
[spoon clanging in ceramic bowl]
918
00:38:44,790 --> 00:38:47,624
¶ To think of the future ¶
919
00:38:48,360 --> 00:38:49,893
[swallows ice cream]
920
00:38:49,895 --> 00:38:52,329
¶ And the dreams You hope will be ¶
921
00:38:53,899 --> 00:38:56,866
¶ Let your heart remember too... ¶
922
00:38:58,370 --> 00:38:59,869
I have an idea.
923
00:38:59,871 --> 00:39:01,071
[James] Hmm?
924
00:39:01,073 --> 00:39:02,706
Let's re-download Tinder
925
00:39:02,708 --> 00:39:05,542
and switch phones
with each other.
926
00:39:05,544 --> 00:39:07,110
I think it'd be
really interesting
927
00:39:07,112 --> 00:39:08,845
to see what girl you like.
928
00:39:09,881 --> 00:39:11,414
What?
929
00:39:11,416 --> 00:39:14,551
Come on,
let's switch phones.
930
00:39:14,553 --> 00:39:18,488
Babe, see I'm busy
right now?
931
00:39:19,558 --> 00:39:21,091
All right,
I'll borrow yours.
932
00:39:21,093 --> 00:39:22,592
[muffled]
No, wait. Why?
What are you--?
933
00:39:22,594 --> 00:39:26,062
There's no--
You don't need to.
934
00:39:26,064 --> 00:39:28,498
I've already
seen it, James.
935
00:39:29,768 --> 00:39:31,101
What?
936
00:39:32,637 --> 00:39:35,138
You're messaging
a lot of girls.
937
00:39:36,141 --> 00:39:37,440
A lot, a lot.
938
00:39:37,442 --> 00:39:39,376
[dry chuckle]
939
00:39:39,378 --> 00:39:41,511
Wait, so...
940
00:39:41,513 --> 00:39:43,380
you're going
through my phone now?
941
00:39:43,382 --> 00:39:45,415
The things
you say to them.
942
00:39:45,417 --> 00:39:47,851
-Jokes.
-Hmm?
943
00:39:47,853 --> 00:39:52,422
You offered to take
several girls to "pound town",
944
00:39:52,424 --> 00:39:55,425
and you told
some slutty Asian
that you wanted
945
00:39:55,427 --> 00:39:57,394
-to be her fuck slave.
-[James laughs]
946
00:39:57,396 --> 00:39:59,863
-I mean, what the fuck, James?
-[laughs]
947
00:40:00,632 --> 00:40:02,732
-No. No!
-Stop laughing!
948
00:40:02,734 --> 00:40:04,601
They're just jokes.
I was just trying to see
949
00:40:04,603 --> 00:40:06,035
if that even works
on any girls.
950
00:40:06,037 --> 00:40:08,872
-Like--
-Why would you do this to me?
951
00:40:08,874 --> 00:40:11,107
Do what?
I didn't do anything.
952
00:40:11,109 --> 00:40:12,976
It's not like I met up
with these girls.
953
00:40:12,978 --> 00:40:14,677
Yeah, I went out
with James once.
954
00:40:14,679 --> 00:40:16,613
There wasn't
really any chemistry.
955
00:40:16,615 --> 00:40:19,582
I think we hung out like, mmm,
956
00:40:19,584 --> 00:40:21,184
two or three times.
957
00:40:21,186 --> 00:40:24,554
We might've made out
a little bit.
958
00:40:24,556 --> 00:40:26,556
After we slept together,
he broke down,
959
00:40:26,558 --> 00:40:29,459
and started crying about
how much he loved his fiancé.
960
00:40:29,461 --> 00:40:32,095
So I listened to him
for like two hours,
961
00:40:32,097 --> 00:40:34,798
and then he didn't even have
the decency to text me after.
962
00:40:34,800 --> 00:40:35,999
Asshole.
963
00:40:36,001 --> 00:40:37,634
You're an asshole.
964
00:40:37,636 --> 00:40:39,869
An ass--
How am I an asshole?
965
00:40:39,871 --> 00:40:41,471
I didn't even cheat.
966
00:40:41,473 --> 00:40:43,673
Cheating,
I could wrap my head around.
967
00:40:43,675 --> 00:40:45,442
But this?
968
00:40:45,444 --> 00:40:47,844
It's so much more unsavory.
969
00:40:47,846 --> 00:40:50,213
Okay, I think
you're over reacting,
970
00:40:50,215 --> 00:40:52,582
because this is
not that big of a deal.
971
00:40:53,718 --> 00:40:54,984
It's a big deal to me,
972
00:40:54,986 --> 00:40:56,920
so it's a big deal, okay?
973
00:40:56,922 --> 00:40:59,622
Okay. Okay.
974
00:41:09,468 --> 00:41:11,134
[scoffs]
975
00:41:12,103 --> 00:41:14,671
I think we need
to take a break.
976
00:41:19,945 --> 00:41:23,613
Okay, you've opened and closed
the same folder three times.
977
00:41:23,615 --> 00:41:24,981
Well, I can't find the file
978
00:41:24,983 --> 00:41:26,983
that my boss
is freaking out about.
979
00:41:26,985 --> 00:41:29,986
I'm seriously
like this close to quitting.
980
00:41:31,490 --> 00:41:33,122
-Okay.
-Whoa--
981
00:41:36,061 --> 00:41:37,794
Fine.
982
00:41:37,796 --> 00:41:39,796
-So when are you quitting?
-Next month.
983
00:41:39,798 --> 00:41:42,565
Well, definitely
by the end of Summer.
984
00:41:42,567 --> 00:41:44,601
And what will you do?
985
00:41:46,004 --> 00:41:48,972
I don't know,
probably the same thing
somewhere else.
986
00:41:48,974 --> 00:41:51,508
Really, I don't know
what I want.
987
00:41:51,510 --> 00:41:55,245
I just-- I know
that I want more of it.
988
00:41:55,247 --> 00:41:57,514
You know what I mean?
989
00:41:57,516 --> 00:41:58,781
No.
990
00:41:58,783 --> 00:42:00,049
[scoffs]
991
00:42:00,051 --> 00:42:02,785
Like, well,
what do you want?
992
00:42:02,787 --> 00:42:06,022
What are your,
your big plans?
993
00:42:06,024 --> 00:42:08,558
When I was a kid,
all I wanted to do
994
00:42:08,560 --> 00:42:11,561
was make people laugh,
995
00:42:11,563 --> 00:42:14,030
and have sex
with pretty girls.
996
00:42:14,032 --> 00:42:16,099
[scoffs] No.
997
00:42:16,101 --> 00:42:17,700
I don't buy it.
998
00:42:17,702 --> 00:42:19,536
Well, if you don't believe me,
999
00:42:19,538 --> 00:42:21,137
then ask him for yourself.
1000
00:42:22,607 --> 00:42:25,775
So wait,
you had sex with us?
1001
00:42:26,912 --> 00:42:28,745
Whoa, that's awesome.
1002
00:42:28,747 --> 00:42:30,246
Can I ask you something?
1003
00:42:30,248 --> 00:42:32,849
What do you want to be
when you grow up?
1004
00:42:33,718 --> 00:42:35,151
I don't know.
1005
00:42:35,153 --> 00:42:37,787
I think I just want
to make people laugh.
1006
00:42:37,789 --> 00:42:39,289
See.
1007
00:42:39,291 --> 00:42:41,925
So I can get on television
and movies,
1008
00:42:41,927 --> 00:42:44,160
and be famous.
We're famous, right?
1009
00:42:45,564 --> 00:42:47,030
Fine.
1010
00:42:47,032 --> 00:42:50,567
I want to be rich and famous.
1011
00:42:50,569 --> 00:42:52,735
So what.
1012
00:42:52,737 --> 00:42:54,070
What did you want to do then?
1013
00:42:54,072 --> 00:42:56,239
What I wanted was to be married
1014
00:42:56,241 --> 00:42:58,942
to be married
to Leonardo DiCaprio.
1015
00:42:58,944 --> 00:43:01,611
Not in bed with a guy
1016
00:43:01,613 --> 00:43:03,580
that looks like a giant Muppet.
1017
00:43:03,582 --> 00:43:05,949
-Want some chips?
-[scoffs]
1018
00:43:05,951 --> 00:43:09,319
I'm sorry, I used to be
very critical of people.
1019
00:43:09,321 --> 00:43:11,754
And where did you get
those chips? Are those mine?
1020
00:43:11,756 --> 00:43:13,957
-Whose place is this?
-Mine.
1021
00:43:13,959 --> 00:43:17,727
Whoa, we must make
a lot of money.
1022
00:43:17,729 --> 00:43:19,829
I'm doin' okay.
1023
00:43:19,831 --> 00:43:21,631
I'm the head of marketing--
1024
00:43:21,633 --> 00:43:22,865
So we're the boss of people?
1025
00:43:22,867 --> 00:43:24,334
Do we yell at them?
1026
00:43:24,336 --> 00:43:25,868
Yeah. Sometimes,
1027
00:43:25,870 --> 00:43:28,004
when I forget
to drink my coffee.
1028
00:43:28,006 --> 00:43:29,806
That's so cool!
1029
00:43:29,808 --> 00:43:32,208
I can't wait
to be in my 20's.
1030
00:43:36,381 --> 00:43:37,880
Something wrong?
1031
00:43:42,621 --> 00:43:45,188
Don't be too nice, too soon.
1032
00:43:45,924 --> 00:43:47,357
I hate that.
1033
00:43:49,995 --> 00:43:51,694
And no pussy gripping this time.
1034
00:43:51,696 --> 00:43:53,963
-Really choke me.
-[chuckles]
1035
00:43:55,800 --> 00:43:58,267
[both moaning]
1036
00:44:09,414 --> 00:44:10,780
[moaning stops]
1037
00:44:10,782 --> 00:44:12,281
[exasperated breathing]
1038
00:44:12,283 --> 00:44:13,783
[Ben] Oh, God.
1039
00:44:14,853 --> 00:44:16,386
That was good.
1040
00:44:17,656 --> 00:44:19,155
A few more times, and uh,
1041
00:44:19,157 --> 00:44:21,691
I think you'll really have
the hang of it.
1042
00:44:21,693 --> 00:44:23,192
Shut up.
1043
00:44:23,194 --> 00:44:25,061
[sighs]
What do you want to do now?
1044
00:44:25,063 --> 00:44:26,863
You want to, uh,
go to the gym?
1045
00:44:26,865 --> 00:44:29,232
Watch each other do squats
for a couple hours, or...?
1046
00:44:29,234 --> 00:44:30,800
[both laugh]
1047
00:44:30,802 --> 00:44:32,235
I don't know. Um...
1048
00:44:32,237 --> 00:44:35,271
how about
we smoke some pot?
1049
00:44:35,273 --> 00:44:36,806
You have some, right?
1050
00:44:36,808 --> 00:44:39,242
Now, why do you assume
that I have pot?
1051
00:44:39,244 --> 00:44:42,011
I don't know, I thought
all white guys smoked pot.
1052
00:44:43,848 --> 00:44:46,749
I might have a little.
But why do you want to?
1053
00:44:46,751 --> 00:44:49,752
Mmm... I want
to try it again.
1054
00:44:49,754 --> 00:44:51,988
I mean, I never really
did it in high school,
1055
00:44:51,990 --> 00:44:54,157
because I was a big nerd,
and I thought
1056
00:44:54,159 --> 00:44:55,992
if I took one hit,
it would ruin my chances
1057
00:44:55,994 --> 00:44:57,460
of getting a scholarship.
1058
00:44:57,462 --> 00:45:00,229
And that
I smoked once in college,
1059
00:45:00,231 --> 00:45:01,998
but I didn't really feel it,
1060
00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:04,701
and now I'm goin'
to law school,
1061
00:45:04,703 --> 00:45:06,703
and I just feel like
I just need to see
1062
00:45:06,705 --> 00:45:09,238
-what it's all about, you know?
-Yeah.
1063
00:45:09,240 --> 00:45:11,140
So I just picked this up
from the dispensary.
1064
00:45:11,142 --> 00:45:13,409
It's pretty strong,
so just have a little bit.
1065
00:45:13,411 --> 00:45:15,378
-Okay.
-And if you start to feel
1066
00:45:15,380 --> 00:45:16,879
like freaked out
or paranoid,
1067
00:45:16,881 --> 00:45:18,081
it's just the weed,
you're fine.
1068
00:45:18,083 --> 00:45:19,348
You're totally fine.
1069
00:45:19,350 --> 00:45:20,783
Okay.
1070
00:45:20,785 --> 00:45:22,051
I'm having a tough time
1071
00:45:22,053 --> 00:45:24,053
not smiling,
is that normal?
1072
00:45:25,123 --> 00:45:26,789
I knew this kid
when I was little,
1073
00:45:26,791 --> 00:45:28,458
he could never stop smiling.
1074
00:45:28,460 --> 00:45:30,359
Even when his mom
was yelling at him,
1075
00:45:30,361 --> 00:45:33,229
[laughs] I saw him,
I saw him cry once,
1076
00:45:33,231 --> 00:45:35,798
and he was
still kind of smiling.
1077
00:45:35,800 --> 00:45:38,868
[laughs]
1078
00:45:39,938 --> 00:45:41,838
Manuel Hernandez.
1079
00:45:41,840 --> 00:45:44,307
Oh, man.
1080
00:45:44,309 --> 00:45:45,842
His mom and my mom
worked together,
1081
00:45:45,844 --> 00:45:48,778
so I spent a lot of nights
at his house
1082
00:45:48,780 --> 00:45:51,114
when my mom worked late,
1083
00:45:51,116 --> 00:45:54,884
and he was like 200 pounds
when he was seven.
1084
00:45:54,886 --> 00:45:57,854
So all his mom kept in
the house was not new--
1085
00:45:59,224 --> 00:46:03,192
Uh... Oh, we played this game
where he'd lie on top of me,
1086
00:46:03,194 --> 00:46:07,230
and I'd yell out things like,
"Help! You're squishing me!"
1087
00:46:07,232 --> 00:46:09,398
Or, "I'm being crushed!"
1088
00:46:09,400 --> 00:46:11,033
[laughs]
1089
00:46:11,803 --> 00:46:13,803
Oh, I loved it.
1090
00:46:14,906 --> 00:46:17,540
Oh, my God.
1091
00:46:17,542 --> 00:46:20,042
I bet that's why
I have this re-occurring dream
1092
00:46:20,044 --> 00:46:22,545
where I'm making love
to a Sumo wrestler.
1093
00:46:22,547 --> 00:46:26,883
Ben, do you have
any sexual fetishes?
1094
00:46:26,885 --> 00:46:28,317
What?
1095
00:46:28,319 --> 00:46:31,087
Uh, sorry.
Do you hear that?
1096
00:46:32,157 --> 00:46:33,790
No.
1097
00:46:33,792 --> 00:46:35,291
[vocalizes]
1098
00:46:35,293 --> 00:46:38,094
-Can I ask you a question?
-Yeah.
1099
00:46:38,096 --> 00:46:41,063
Um, in the movie, earlier,
1100
00:46:41,065 --> 00:46:43,833
when Annie tells Albee that
that's what her grandmother
1101
00:46:43,835 --> 00:46:45,334
would call a real Jew?
1102
00:46:45,336 --> 00:46:47,403
-What?
-What did she mean?
1103
00:46:47,405 --> 00:46:50,006
It's like exemplifying all
the stereotypes of a Jew.
1104
00:46:50,008 --> 00:46:52,208
Which are...?
1105
00:46:53,511 --> 00:46:56,179
I'm sorry,
I don't really know
what Jewish is.
1106
00:46:56,181 --> 00:46:59,015
I mean, I know
it's a religion,
1107
00:46:59,017 --> 00:47:02,051
but like I went to a high school
that was 40% Hispanic
1108
00:47:02,053 --> 00:47:03,853
and 60% Asian,
so I don't really--
1109
00:47:03,855 --> 00:47:06,589
You still must have some,
you know, sense of--
1110
00:47:06,591 --> 00:47:09,292
Well, what do you know
about Peruvian culture?
1111
00:47:09,294 --> 00:47:10,927
Well, that's different,
'cause Peruvians
1112
00:47:10,929 --> 00:47:12,895
aren't as prominent
in mainstream culture.
1113
00:47:12,897 --> 00:47:15,131
-Mainstream?
-Look, I'm sorry.
I've been hypocritical.
1114
00:47:15,133 --> 00:47:18,267
Okay, Jewish stereotypes--
people think that we are, uh...
1115
00:47:18,269 --> 00:47:20,536
uh, greedy,
that we're un-athletic,
1116
00:47:20,538 --> 00:47:22,605
that we have big noses,
we're all doctors
1117
00:47:22,607 --> 00:47:25,141
and lawyers and accountants,
and that we run Hollywood
1118
00:47:25,143 --> 00:47:26,576
and the media.
1119
00:47:27,846 --> 00:47:29,579
Wow, that's a lot
of stereotypes.
1120
00:47:29,581 --> 00:47:31,981
Yeah, well, you know,
genocides don't fuel
themselves.
1121
00:47:31,983 --> 00:47:33,416
[both laugh]
1122
00:47:34,586 --> 00:47:37,553
-I've never met anyone like you.
-Yeah, clearly.
1123
00:47:37,555 --> 00:47:41,190
But honestly,
I'm a walking cliché.
You just don't know
1124
00:47:41,192 --> 00:47:43,526
all the stuff
I'm ripping off.
Thank God.
1125
00:47:43,528 --> 00:47:45,528
[scoffs]
You shouldn't be
so self-deprecating.
1126
00:47:45,530 --> 00:47:47,997
I don't like it.
1127
00:47:47,999 --> 00:47:50,099
Tell me more about
this squishing fetish.
1128
00:47:50,101 --> 00:47:51,467
-Squish.
-I'm squishing!
1129
00:47:51,469 --> 00:47:54,403
-Come on, come on. Ohh...
-I'm squishing!
1130
00:47:56,174 --> 00:47:58,207
[phone vibrates]
1131
00:47:58,209 --> 00:47:59,942
Who is blowin' up your phone?
1132
00:47:59,944 --> 00:48:01,444
Brunch plans.
1133
00:48:01,446 --> 00:48:03,246
My friend Stephanie
decided that she wanted
1134
00:48:03,248 --> 00:48:06,115
to go vegan and so
it created this whole ordeal.
1135
00:48:06,117 --> 00:48:08,084
[Lawrence]
What are you doin'?
1136
00:48:08,086 --> 00:48:10,419
I'm posting
this BuzzFeed article
1137
00:48:10,421 --> 00:48:13,089
about John Haam's facial
patterns to James' wall.
1138
00:48:13,091 --> 00:48:15,958
-Uh-uh. Uh-uh.
-It's just, he's
really obsessed with him--
1139
00:48:15,960 --> 00:48:17,593
-No!
-No.
1140
00:48:17,595 --> 00:48:19,095
-Fine!
-Stop it.
1141
00:48:19,097 --> 00:48:21,464
Fine!
[groans]
1142
00:48:21,466 --> 00:48:22,899
Stop.
1143
00:48:22,901 --> 00:48:25,101
I just miss talking
to him.
1144
00:48:25,103 --> 00:48:27,670
I know, boo boo.
1145
00:48:27,672 --> 00:48:30,406
I did sign up
for Tinder though.
1146
00:48:31,276 --> 00:48:33,342
-Yes!
-[Rachel] What?
1147
00:48:33,344 --> 00:48:35,011
-Yeah. See.
-[Lawrence] Let me see.
1148
00:48:35,013 --> 00:48:38,147
-Wait. What?
-[Lawrence] Yes.
1149
00:48:38,149 --> 00:48:40,616
Ooh. Your boobs
look good in these.
1150
00:48:40,618 --> 00:48:43,552
-[Lawrence laughs]
-Yeah, I've been
messaging this guy Otis.
1151
00:48:43,554 --> 00:48:45,354
I don't think
I'm ready to meet up,
1152
00:48:45,356 --> 00:48:48,925
but I really do like
this constant validation thing.
1153
00:48:48,927 --> 00:48:51,594
-[Rachel] He's hot!
-[Mel] Mmm.
1154
00:48:51,596 --> 00:48:53,696
Oh, my God,
and he has such a cute dog.
1155
00:48:53,698 --> 00:48:55,331
You have to meet up
with him.
1156
00:48:55,333 --> 00:48:58,067
I'm just-- I'm--
I'm not ready for that.
1157
00:48:58,069 --> 00:49:00,403
You know, just--
1158
00:49:00,405 --> 00:49:01,570
I can't.
1159
00:49:01,572 --> 00:49:03,706
Pity parties
block blessings.
1160
00:49:03,708 --> 00:49:05,608
[scoffs]
1161
00:49:05,610 --> 00:49:07,076
Oh, my God.
1162
00:49:07,078 --> 00:49:08,577
That just reminds me,
I have to meet up
1163
00:49:08,579 --> 00:49:10,646
-with Dustin in about an hour.
-Seriously?
1164
00:49:10,648 --> 00:49:13,182
Well, do you wanna join?
1165
00:49:14,185 --> 00:49:16,652
I'm all set. Thanks!
1166
00:49:16,654 --> 00:49:18,087
[sighs]
1167
00:49:18,089 --> 00:49:19,221
Do you mind
if I just...
1168
00:49:19,223 --> 00:49:20,623
-sleep here?
-No.
1169
00:49:20,625 --> 00:49:22,425
You can make yourself
at home.
1170
00:49:22,427 --> 00:49:25,494
Thanks. I think
I just need some rest.
1171
00:49:26,998 --> 00:49:29,165
[piano music playing]
1172
00:49:40,011 --> 00:49:41,544
[phone vibrates]
1173
00:49:49,754 --> 00:49:51,187
[sniffs]
1174
00:49:55,426 --> 00:49:57,693
I'm really glad
we did this.
1175
00:49:57,695 --> 00:49:59,228
Yeah. Uh.
1176
00:49:59,230 --> 00:50:01,297
Well, you promised
me dumplings, so...
1177
00:50:01,299 --> 00:50:03,099
-[laughs]
-[glasses clink]
1178
00:50:03,101 --> 00:50:04,567
So you were saying that
1179
00:50:04,569 --> 00:50:08,004
you just got out
of a long relationship?
1180
00:50:08,006 --> 00:50:09,739
Yeah, a few months ago.
1181
00:50:09,741 --> 00:50:12,174
Dated for a little
over five years.
1182
00:50:12,176 --> 00:50:13,542
Wow, why'd you break up?
1183
00:50:13,544 --> 00:50:15,444
Wow, I'm-- I'm sorry.
1184
00:50:15,446 --> 00:50:18,514
-I know that was just way too--
-No. No, no, no. It's okay.
1185
00:50:18,516 --> 00:50:21,217
In fact, uh,
let me get her.
1186
00:50:23,054 --> 00:50:25,388
This is Ella.
1187
00:50:26,024 --> 00:50:28,024
-Hi.
-Hi.
1188
00:50:29,127 --> 00:50:32,461
Uh, so why didn't
you two work out?
1189
00:50:32,463 --> 00:50:34,330
Oh, it was nothing major really.
1190
00:50:34,332 --> 00:50:37,366
Our interests just kind of
shifted part over the years,
1191
00:50:37,368 --> 00:50:40,036
and eventually,
it was our 5th anniversary,
1192
00:50:40,038 --> 00:50:43,305
and I began to wonder if
I could really do another five.
1193
00:50:43,307 --> 00:50:44,807
And that I fucked his brother.
1194
00:50:44,809 --> 00:50:47,777
I would argue
what mostly the brother thing.
1195
00:50:48,446 --> 00:50:50,046
I like your dress.
1196
00:50:50,048 --> 00:50:51,714
Thanks.
You look really pretty.
1197
00:50:51,716 --> 00:50:54,183
Really? 'Cause when
I first saw you,
1198
00:50:54,185 --> 00:50:56,552
-I was just like--
-Okay!
1199
00:50:56,554 --> 00:50:58,287
[Otis laughs]
1200
00:51:00,491 --> 00:51:02,591
Can I ask you a question,
Melissa?
1201
00:51:02,593 --> 00:51:04,794
Uh, yeah.
1202
00:51:08,066 --> 00:51:09,632
Are you happy?
1203
00:51:10,368 --> 00:51:12,201
Yeah, if I don't think
1204
00:51:12,203 --> 00:51:14,170
about my life or where
I am too much,
1205
00:51:14,172 --> 00:51:15,571
I'm pretty happy.
1206
00:51:15,573 --> 00:51:17,139
-That's good.
-How about you?
1207
00:51:17,141 --> 00:51:18,407
It's good to be happy.
1208
00:51:18,409 --> 00:51:19,809
[mumbles]
1209
00:51:19,811 --> 00:51:21,377
Uh-- Okay.
1210
00:51:21,379 --> 00:51:24,080
Maybe not on the first date.
1211
00:51:24,082 --> 00:51:25,347
Maybe.
1212
00:51:25,349 --> 00:51:27,083
I like you a lot, Melissa.
1213
00:51:27,085 --> 00:51:30,453
-A lot.
-And I had a good time too.
1214
00:51:30,455 --> 00:51:31,854
I just--
1215
00:51:32,790 --> 00:51:34,857
Okay, s-- I just--
Please stop.
1216
00:51:34,859 --> 00:51:36,859
Okay. Okay.
1217
00:51:38,096 --> 00:51:39,829
Just, uh...
1218
00:51:39,831 --> 00:51:42,131
gettin' a lot
of mixed signals.
1219
00:51:42,133 --> 00:51:46,135
I'm sorry, I didn't mean
to give you mixed signals.
1220
00:51:46,137 --> 00:51:50,506
Um, I just got out
of a long relationship too.
1221
00:51:50,508 --> 00:51:53,109
It's really--
It's complicated.
1222
00:51:53,111 --> 00:51:54,543
We're working it out.
1223
00:51:54,545 --> 00:51:57,746
So don't you want
to have a little fun now?
1224
00:51:57,748 --> 00:52:03,119
[chuckles]
I do. And I was having fun.
1225
00:52:03,688 --> 00:52:05,521
Just a little...
1226
00:52:06,124 --> 00:52:07,756
Ah! Oh!
1227
00:52:07,758 --> 00:52:09,825
-Fuck!
-Are you okay?
1228
00:52:09,827 --> 00:52:11,827
-Ah...
-Oh!
1229
00:52:11,829 --> 00:52:13,696
-[groans]
-Oh!
1230
00:52:14,899 --> 00:52:17,133
It's fine. It's fine.
1231
00:52:17,135 --> 00:52:19,201
We're going out again, right?
1232
00:52:21,139 --> 00:52:22,738
[keys jingling]
1233
00:52:27,879 --> 00:52:29,345
Hello?
1234
00:52:30,715 --> 00:52:32,648
James?
1235
00:52:33,851 --> 00:52:36,152
I'm home...
1236
00:52:38,656 --> 00:52:40,289
Home.
1237
00:52:50,835 --> 00:52:52,434
Mel?
1238
00:52:53,404 --> 00:52:55,171
Mel, what are you doing here?
1239
00:52:56,174 --> 00:52:58,374
You, uh...
1240
00:52:59,477 --> 00:53:01,844
got rid of some stuff.
[chuckles]
1241
00:53:01,846 --> 00:53:04,180
There's a butterfly.
1242
00:53:04,182 --> 00:53:05,648
Is everything all right?
1243
00:53:08,886 --> 00:53:10,953
I wanna end the break.
[laughs]
1244
00:53:10,955 --> 00:53:14,190
-Mel, you're drunk.
-No, stop it!
1245
00:53:14,192 --> 00:53:16,525
-Mel--
-Listen.
1246
00:53:16,527 --> 00:53:18,527
-Listening?
-Mm-hmm.
1247
00:53:18,529 --> 00:53:20,663
Okay. Are you awake?
[slapping his face]
1248
00:53:20,665 --> 00:53:22,698
Yeah, I'm awake.
1249
00:53:25,203 --> 00:53:26,368
Yeah.
1250
00:53:27,238 --> 00:53:29,471
-I was scared.
-Mm-hmm.
1251
00:53:29,473 --> 00:53:31,974
-But now I'm not.
-Okay.
1252
00:53:31,976 --> 00:53:34,210
And I'm ready to love you,
1253
00:53:34,212 --> 00:53:35,844
if you'll just love me.
1254
00:53:35,846 --> 00:53:37,213
No, listen, I have--
1255
00:53:37,215 --> 00:53:38,647
Is everything--
1256
00:53:39,684 --> 00:53:41,450
[sighs]
1257
00:53:41,452 --> 00:53:42,785
Oh.
1258
00:53:43,988 --> 00:53:46,922
-Hi, I'm Jess.
-I know who you are, Jess...
1259
00:53:46,924 --> 00:53:48,457
Wiggins.
1260
00:53:49,594 --> 00:53:51,827
I really like
your comedy videos.
1261
00:53:51,829 --> 00:53:56,465
-I always watch them when--
-Well, don't. They're private.
1262
00:53:56,467 --> 00:53:58,000
What is wrong with you?
1263
00:53:58,002 --> 00:54:00,336
It hasn't even been a week.
1264
00:54:01,305 --> 00:54:03,005
What are you
talkin' about, Mel?
1265
00:54:03,007 --> 00:54:04,974
We're on a break,
all right.
1266
00:54:04,976 --> 00:54:06,508
That was your choice.
1267
00:54:06,510 --> 00:54:08,677
The only one
you've ever made.
1268
00:54:09,247 --> 00:54:10,446
[scoffs]
1269
00:54:10,448 --> 00:54:12,548
What does that mean?
1270
00:54:12,550 --> 00:54:14,383
We moved in together
1271
00:54:14,385 --> 00:54:17,453
because I thought
it'd be a good idea.
1272
00:54:18,389 --> 00:54:20,322
We chose this place
1273
00:54:20,324 --> 00:54:23,759
because you couldn't pick
between the K-Town one
1274
00:54:23,761 --> 00:54:25,027
and this one,
1275
00:54:25,029 --> 00:54:27,930
and you made me pick.
1276
00:54:27,932 --> 00:54:32,334
Every night, I tripped up
in out dark bedroom
1277
00:54:32,336 --> 00:54:35,671
because you couldn't decide
on a fucking lamp.
1278
00:54:36,841 --> 00:54:39,275
You've gotten plenty
of job opportunities
1279
00:54:39,277 --> 00:54:43,979
-that you've turned down--
-I like driving for Swyft.
1280
00:54:43,981 --> 00:54:46,048
Okay? It allows
my schedule
1281
00:54:46,050 --> 00:54:47,816
-to be flexible.
-Flexible.
1282
00:54:47,818 --> 00:54:49,918
Yeah, yeah.
Flexible to do what?
1283
00:54:49,920 --> 00:54:52,288
Sit on the couch
and get stoned?
1284
00:54:52,290 --> 00:54:54,857
Because I know you haven't
gone to one audition
1285
00:54:54,859 --> 00:54:56,992
even though you're dying
to be an actress.
1286
00:54:56,994 --> 00:54:59,762
I have an improv group.
1287
00:54:59,764 --> 00:55:01,297
Ah, Mel.
1288
00:55:01,299 --> 00:55:02,631
You only like improv
1289
00:55:02,633 --> 00:55:04,333
because it requires
zero preparation,
1290
00:55:04,335 --> 00:55:06,835
and you can make
that shit up as you go along.
1291
00:55:07,872 --> 00:55:10,572
[sighs]
Oh, God.
1292
00:55:13,944 --> 00:55:15,344
Oh, Mel.
1293
00:55:15,346 --> 00:55:16,979
I don't want to lose you.
1294
00:55:19,850 --> 00:55:21,717
Not wanting to lose me
1295
00:55:21,719 --> 00:55:25,087
is not the same thing
as wanting to be with me.
1296
00:55:31,662 --> 00:55:32,895
Fine.
1297
00:55:34,899 --> 00:55:36,999
[music playing]
1298
00:56:02,093 --> 00:56:03,859
[Mel]
James and I went
1299
00:56:03,861 --> 00:56:06,729
to private school together on the east coast.
1300
00:56:06,731 --> 00:56:08,731
But we weren't really very close.
1301
00:56:08,733 --> 00:56:11,133
And after graduation, we went to different schools,
1302
00:56:11,135 --> 00:56:13,736
and I never really heard from him.
1303
00:56:13,738 --> 00:56:16,372
He was one of those guys that I Facebook stalked
1304
00:56:16,374 --> 00:56:17,506
a little bit.
1305
00:56:17,508 --> 00:56:18,941
And it was harmless.
1306
00:56:18,943 --> 00:56:20,642
And then a few months ago,
1307
00:56:20,644 --> 00:56:24,046
I moved to L.A. 'with my boyfriend Carl.
1308
00:56:24,048 --> 00:56:26,949
We took our photo by Santa Monica Beach,
1309
00:56:26,951 --> 00:56:30,018
and we captioned it, "Just moved."
1310
00:56:30,020 --> 00:56:32,888
And we got a message from James.
1311
00:56:33,891 --> 00:56:36,892
He said he wanted to catch up.
1312
00:56:38,129 --> 00:56:41,397
And I ignored it
for a little bit.
1313
00:56:41,399 --> 00:56:43,399
I don't know why.
1314
00:56:45,403 --> 00:56:47,803
Maybe I knew what would happen.
1315
00:56:52,777 --> 00:56:55,411
From the moment that we met up,
1316
00:56:55,413 --> 00:56:58,414
we just had this chemistry.
1317
00:57:00,418 --> 00:57:03,585
And God, all my anxiety
1318
00:57:03,587 --> 00:57:05,053
and my nerves about the move,
1319
00:57:05,055 --> 00:57:07,489
and about Carl
and about my job situation
1320
00:57:07,491 --> 00:57:10,125
just melted away and I felt
1321
00:57:10,127 --> 00:57:13,061
like I was back
in high school again.
1322
00:57:15,733 --> 00:57:20,469
But, that didn't last very long
1323
00:57:20,471 --> 00:57:23,505
because now I am lying to Carl,
1324
00:57:23,507 --> 00:57:26,675
I can't sleep, I can't eat.
1325
00:57:26,677 --> 00:57:28,444
I feel fine. Seriously.
1326
00:57:28,446 --> 00:57:31,079
When I think about it,
it was a long time a comin'.
1327
00:57:31,081 --> 00:57:32,781
I'm just grateful
it happened now
1328
00:57:32,783 --> 00:57:35,451
as opposed to 20 years
down the line.
1329
00:57:35,453 --> 00:57:37,052
James is an asshole.
1330
00:57:37,054 --> 00:57:39,721
You need to take that sex tape
and post it on Twitter
1331
00:57:39,723 --> 00:57:42,958
so everyone can see
his tiny dick.
1332
00:57:42,960 --> 00:57:45,494
It's hardly a sex tape.
It's more like a GIF.
1333
00:57:45,496 --> 00:57:47,229
I'm not angry at James.
1334
00:57:47,231 --> 00:57:50,466
Know what, I feel, for
the first time in a long time,
1335
00:57:50,468 --> 00:57:53,202
I feel... unburdened.
1336
00:57:53,204 --> 00:57:55,971
Okay, you're clearly having
some kind of psychotic rage.
1337
00:57:55,973 --> 00:57:57,539
No. Hi.
1338
00:57:57,541 --> 00:58:00,175
-[waiter] Hi.
-Mmm. You have lovely eyes.
1339
00:58:00,177 --> 00:58:02,478
-Thank you.
-You're welcome.
1340
00:58:02,480 --> 00:58:04,913
-What's your name?
-Uh, Marco.
1341
00:58:04,915 --> 00:58:06,849
Oh, wow.
1342
00:58:06,851 --> 00:58:08,484
That's a great name.
1343
00:58:08,486 --> 00:58:09,985
-Thank you. Thank you.
-[Marco] Enjoy.
1344
00:58:09,987 --> 00:58:12,154
-All right, thank you.
-[Mel] Hmm.
1345
00:58:12,156 --> 00:58:14,490
Yeah, you've been talkin'
to this guy for a year now,
1346
00:58:14,492 --> 00:58:16,725
-and I'm the psychotic one?
-I know.
1347
00:58:18,496 --> 00:58:20,128
What's worst case scenario?
1348
00:58:20,130 --> 00:58:23,031
He's not what you hyped him
up to be, and her rejects you?
1349
00:58:23,033 --> 00:58:25,801
No, worst case scenario
is exactly what I've imagined,
1350
00:58:25,803 --> 00:58:30,506
and we fall in love
and it still doesn't
make me happy.
1351
00:58:30,508 --> 00:58:33,075
Hey, I just wanna come by
and wish you a good show.
1352
00:58:33,077 --> 00:58:34,743
Uh, this is Spike,
by the way.
1353
00:58:34,745 --> 00:58:35,978
I'm not sure
if you two have met.
1354
00:58:35,980 --> 00:58:37,579
Hi. Yeah, we met
a while ago.
1355
00:58:37,581 --> 00:58:39,648
-As Gordo's party.
-I don't think so.
1356
00:58:39,650 --> 00:58:42,551
-Okay.
-But hey, you know,
have a good show.
1357
00:58:42,553 --> 00:58:45,187
The whole team is excited
to see what you got.
1358
00:58:45,189 --> 00:58:49,625
Well, I hope
I can show you what I got
if you know what I'm sayin'.
1359
00:58:50,628 --> 00:58:52,728
Right. Funny.
1360
00:58:52,730 --> 00:58:54,196
Thanks.
1361
00:58:54,198 --> 00:58:56,164
Okay then.
1362
00:58:56,166 --> 00:58:58,133
Good luck. Okay.
1363
00:59:00,070 --> 00:59:01,803
So there's a guy
at every improv show
1364
00:59:01,805 --> 00:59:03,672
that laughs way too
hard at everything
1365
00:59:03,674 --> 00:59:05,307
just to prove
that he like gets it.
1366
00:59:05,309 --> 00:59:07,209
And I'm betting on that guy.
1367
00:59:07,211 --> 00:59:09,011
[Gabriela]
I'm excited.
1368
00:59:09,013 --> 00:59:10,779
I've never been to
an improv show before.
1369
00:59:10,781 --> 00:59:13,048
Is it like Wild and Out with Nick Cannon?
1370
00:59:13,050 --> 00:59:15,117
It's exactly
like Wild and Out with Nick Cannon.
1371
00:59:15,119 --> 00:59:16,652
I think he's actually
gonna be here tonight.
1372
00:59:16,654 --> 00:59:18,320
-Really?
-No.
1373
00:59:19,890 --> 00:59:21,023
Mmm.
1374
00:59:21,025 --> 00:59:22,291
Hey there.
1375
00:59:22,293 --> 00:59:23,692
Hi.
1376
00:59:23,694 --> 00:59:25,027
Hi. Um, I'm Rachel.
1377
00:59:25,029 --> 00:59:27,763
-Oh, Gabriela.
-Nice to meet you.
1378
00:59:27,765 --> 00:59:30,766
How's, uh--
How's Mel doin'?
1379
00:59:31,335 --> 00:59:33,335
She's doin' fine.
1380
00:59:33,337 --> 00:59:34,803
[dry chuckle]
1381
00:59:34,805 --> 00:59:38,173
So, um, uh, Gabby,
what do you do?
1382
00:59:38,175 --> 00:59:40,275
Uh, Gabriela.
And I work the mall.
1383
00:59:40,277 --> 00:59:41,910
Oh! I got
my first hand-job at the mall.
1384
00:59:41,912 --> 00:59:44,012
Oh, me too! Well, a movie
theater at the mall,
1385
00:59:44,014 --> 00:59:46,815
but who didn't get turned on
during Ratatouille.
1386
00:59:46,817 --> 00:59:48,917
[laughs] I like you.
1387
00:59:48,919 --> 00:59:51,620
Well, I'm sorry, ma'am,
but it looks like
1388
00:59:51,622 --> 00:59:53,789
our only recourse
is to send you
1389
00:59:53,791 --> 00:59:56,625
on a one-way trip
to Africa.
1390
00:59:56,627 --> 01:00:00,996
[laughs]
Oh, man.
1391
01:00:00,998 --> 01:00:03,365
I flew Dinosaur Airlines.
1392
01:00:03,367 --> 01:00:04,933
[laughs]
1393
01:00:04,935 --> 01:00:08,103
Hello, and welcome
to Dinosaur Airlines.
1394
01:00:08,105 --> 01:00:11,840
This is your pilot,
uh, Captain Velociraptor
speaking.
1395
01:00:11,842 --> 01:00:14,242
[makes high-pitched
squawk sound]
1396
01:00:14,244 --> 01:00:17,279
And this is our
beautiful stewardess.
1397
01:00:17,915 --> 01:00:20,282
Hi. I'm...
1398
01:00:20,284 --> 01:00:21,984
[dramatic music playing]
1399
01:00:43,407 --> 01:00:44,906
[small grunt]
1400
01:00:44,908 --> 01:00:47,009
[laughter]
1401
01:00:51,815 --> 01:00:54,683
I can't believe
I'm in Pizza Hat.
1402
01:00:54,685 --> 01:00:56,251
You blew us away.
1403
01:00:56,253 --> 01:01:00,188
I mean, that crying bit
was hilariously pathetic.
1404
01:01:00,190 --> 01:01:03,925
I don't-- I don't give
compliments either,
you know, so...
1405
01:01:03,927 --> 01:01:07,262
clear your Mondays,
Tuesdays, Thursdays
for rehearsal,
1406
01:01:07,264 --> 01:01:08,997
and then go ahead
and clear your Friday,
1407
01:01:08,999 --> 01:01:11,433
Saturday for performance,
and we're good to go.
1408
01:01:11,435 --> 01:01:13,402
Oh. Great.
1409
01:01:13,404 --> 01:01:14,803
Great.
1410
01:01:14,805 --> 01:01:18,106
Hey, Mel.
Great show, I think.
1411
01:01:18,108 --> 01:01:20,375
-[Mel chuckles]
-Uh, uh, this is Gabriela.
1412
01:01:20,377 --> 01:01:22,144
-Hi, Gabriela!
-Hi. Hey.
1413
01:01:22,146 --> 01:01:23,845
-Thank you so much for coming.
-Yes.
1414
01:01:23,847 --> 01:01:25,814
-It's nice to meet you.
-Nice to meet you too.
1415
01:01:25,816 --> 01:01:28,450
-You're a really pretty crier.
-Thank you!
1416
01:01:28,452 --> 01:01:30,118
Hey. Dustin.
1417
01:01:30,120 --> 01:01:31,920
The masturbating octopus
himself.
1418
01:01:31,922 --> 01:01:33,789
It's an honor. Uh, Ben.
1419
01:01:33,791 --> 01:01:35,290
[clears throat]
1420
01:01:35,292 --> 01:01:38,393
[Mel] 30 people RSVP'd yes to this.
1421
01:01:38,395 --> 01:01:41,363
Well, it like
never really happened.
1422
01:01:41,365 --> 01:01:43,932
Can we head out soon?
Maybe we'll watch
1423
01:01:43,934 --> 01:01:47,102
one of your serial killer
episodes or something.
1424
01:01:47,104 --> 01:01:49,271
Spike and the rest
of the team are heading
1425
01:01:49,273 --> 01:01:51,273
to The Thirsty Crawl.
Let's just grab one drink
1426
01:01:51,275 --> 01:01:53,041
and then we can go home.
1427
01:01:54,712 --> 01:01:56,344
[chattering]
1428
01:01:57,715 --> 01:01:59,347
I'm tired.
1429
01:01:59,349 --> 01:02:01,316
I-- I don't wanna--
1430
01:02:01,318 --> 01:02:02,918
Richard?
1431
01:02:03,854 --> 01:02:06,221
Uh, Rachel.
Hey there.
1432
01:02:07,725 --> 01:02:09,124
What are you doing here?
1433
01:02:09,126 --> 01:02:12,327
Uh, my daughter told me
about this place.
1434
01:02:13,097 --> 01:02:15,497
Improv comedy. [laughs]
1435
01:02:15,499 --> 01:02:17,499
Very cool.
1436
01:02:20,204 --> 01:02:22,504
[upbeat music playing]
1437
01:02:36,887 --> 01:02:38,253
There you are...
1438
01:02:38,255 --> 01:02:39,755
-Hey.
-Hey.
1439
01:02:39,757 --> 01:02:41,790
You said this was
a small get together.
1440
01:02:41,792 --> 01:02:43,992
Okay, there's barely
like a dozen people here.
1441
01:02:43,994 --> 01:02:45,327
Yeah, but that's like
a dozen people
1442
01:02:45,329 --> 01:02:47,129
I got to figure out
a greeting with.
1443
01:02:47,131 --> 01:02:49,197
Handshakes? Is it high-five
all around? I don't know.
1444
01:02:49,199 --> 01:02:51,333
Honey, don't be so nervous.
They're gonna love you.
1445
01:02:51,335 --> 01:02:53,135
They already think
I'm your tax attorney.
1446
01:02:53,137 --> 01:02:55,470
-What? No, they don't.
-No, well, I have a stack
1447
01:02:55,472 --> 01:02:57,205
of your Uncle Hector's W2's
that beg to differ.
1448
01:02:57,207 --> 01:02:59,508
Shut up. You suck.
I don't have an Uncle Hector.
1449
01:02:59,510 --> 01:03:01,376
Come on. Come on.
1450
01:03:02,946 --> 01:03:04,546
[Gabriela]
This is my mom
that you met earlier.
1451
01:03:04,548 --> 01:03:06,782
And my tia Rosa.
And my tio Raul.
1452
01:03:06,784 --> 01:03:09,484
And my cousin Bruna.
And that is Carmen.
1453
01:03:09,486 --> 01:03:11,086
And Shane. And Soliel.
1454
01:03:11,088 --> 01:03:14,389
-And my cousin Chris.
-Hi, Chris.
1455
01:03:14,391 --> 01:03:15,791
Nice to meet you guys.
1456
01:03:15,793 --> 01:03:17,025
Where'd you meet
Gabriela?
1457
01:03:17,027 --> 01:03:19,394
We met on, uh,
on Tinder, actually.
1458
01:03:19,396 --> 01:03:20,529
-Oh!
-Yes.
1459
01:03:20,531 --> 01:03:23,031
-Okay. Good for you.
-Yeah.
1460
01:03:23,033 --> 01:03:25,267
[reciting prayer in Spanish]
1461
01:03:30,541 --> 01:03:32,908
-[mother] Amen.
-[all] Amen.
1462
01:03:35,012 --> 01:03:37,179
Okay. Let's eat.
1463
01:03:37,948 --> 01:03:39,247
Just eat. It's good.
1464
01:03:39,249 --> 01:03:40,448
-It is?
-Yeah.
1465
01:03:40,450 --> 01:03:42,317
-What? It's a heart?
-Yeah.
1466
01:03:42,319 --> 01:03:44,419
All right.
Thank you. Thanks.
1467
01:03:44,421 --> 01:03:46,288
[Ben] So what do you guys do for work?
1468
01:03:46,290 --> 01:03:48,890
You guys work
in finance or something?
1469
01:03:49,827 --> 01:03:52,160
Hey, do you and Gabriela
ever kiss?
1470
01:03:52,162 --> 01:03:54,830
Uh, yeah.
We do sometimes.
1471
01:03:54,832 --> 01:03:57,465
Well, doesn't your nose
get in the way?
1472
01:03:57,467 --> 01:04:00,035
-So what do you do?
-Oh, I'm retired.
1473
01:04:00,037 --> 01:04:01,970
Uh, I've been retired
since '98.
1474
01:04:01,972 --> 01:04:04,372
I was a tow truck driver
for about 40 years.
1475
01:04:04,374 --> 01:04:06,007
Oh, wow.
1476
01:04:06,009 --> 01:04:07,976
In tow trucks, you guys
are sort of like the,
1477
01:04:07,978 --> 01:04:10,979
you're sort of like
the lifeguards of the road.
1478
01:04:10,981 --> 01:04:12,447
Except you have
your shirts on.
1479
01:04:12,449 --> 01:04:14,082
-I mean, I think, I don't know.
-[chuckles]
1480
01:04:14,084 --> 01:04:15,450
You know, who knows
how you do it.
1481
01:04:15,452 --> 01:04:17,485
But, uh-- Oh.
Thank you so much.
1482
01:04:17,487 --> 01:04:21,423
[singing in Spanish]
1483
01:04:36,406 --> 01:04:40,508
[mother]
Oh, wait a minute.
I have to take a picture.
1484
01:04:41,378 --> 01:04:43,478
-Picture, picture.
-Oh.
1485
01:04:43,480 --> 01:04:45,080
-Sorry, uh...
-[mother] Just a minute.
1486
01:04:45,082 --> 01:04:46,348
No, no, Ben.
Stay in there.
1487
01:04:46,350 --> 01:04:47,582
-You sure?
-Stay in there. Yeah.
1488
01:04:47,584 --> 01:04:49,284
-Ready? Smile!
-[Ben] Okay...
1489
01:04:49,286 --> 01:04:51,052
-[Ben] Oops. Got 'em.
-Wait. Yeah, come here.
1490
01:04:51,054 --> 01:04:53,521
-Okay.
-[mother] Smile, everybody.
1491
01:04:54,291 --> 01:04:56,157
[both speaking Spanish]
1492
01:04:57,661 --> 01:05:00,095
-Gabriela?
-Hey, one sec.
1493
01:05:00,097 --> 01:05:03,131
-[speaks Spanish]
-I think I'm gonna head out.
1494
01:05:03,133 --> 01:05:04,900
-What?
-I'm just feeling really wiped,
1495
01:05:04,902 --> 01:05:08,003
um, and I--
I totally forgot
I have this article
1496
01:05:08,005 --> 01:05:10,005
that I have to send in
to, uh, the site tomorrow.
1497
01:05:10,007 --> 01:05:12,908
Oh, okay. Well, I-I--
I'll walk you to your car.
1498
01:05:12,910 --> 01:05:14,276
You sure? I don't
want to, you know,
1499
01:05:14,278 --> 01:05:15,310
take away the birthday girl.
1500
01:05:15,312 --> 01:05:16,411
No, that's fine.
1501
01:05:16,413 --> 01:05:18,513
-Um, I'll be right back.
-Okay.
1502
01:05:20,250 --> 01:05:21,983
You didn't have to come.
1503
01:05:21,985 --> 01:05:24,653
No, I wanted to come.
Really, I had a good time.
1504
01:05:24,655 --> 01:05:26,221
I'm just--
I'm just tired.
1505
01:05:26,223 --> 01:05:28,990
Okay. I just--
I thought you were sleep
1506
01:05:28,992 --> 01:05:30,258
at my place for once.
1507
01:05:30,260 --> 01:05:32,193
Oh, I'm just--
I'm wiped, babe.
1508
01:05:32,195 --> 01:05:34,329
I-I, uh-- It seemed like
the party was going to go on
1509
01:05:34,331 --> 01:05:36,598
for a little while longer.
Uh, I'll stay over soon.
1510
01:05:36,600 --> 01:05:39,000
Okay. When?
1511
01:05:39,002 --> 01:05:41,136
Uh, I don't know.
Uh, I'll text you.
1512
01:05:41,138 --> 01:05:42,604
We can figure it out.
1513
01:05:42,606 --> 01:05:44,306
You know I hate
when you do that.
1514
01:05:44,308 --> 01:05:46,942
-When I do what?
-"We'll figure it out."
1515
01:05:46,944 --> 01:05:49,411
What's wrong with that?
Why can't we just figure it out?
1516
01:05:49,413 --> 01:05:53,081
Because when you say that,
it makes me feel like you
don't want to see me at all.
1517
01:05:53,083 --> 01:05:55,951
No, I just don't always like
to make definitive plans.
1518
01:05:55,953 --> 01:05:57,953
Why can't we just be casual?
1519
01:05:57,955 --> 01:06:00,555
Casual? I don't-- What--
1520
01:06:00,557 --> 01:06:02,991
I'm not someone who just
sleeps around with whoever.
1521
01:06:02,993 --> 01:06:04,726
I know. I'm just--
1522
01:06:04,728 --> 01:06:07,629
Do you really think
that we're that compatible?
1523
01:06:07,631 --> 01:06:10,131
You said
you liked our differences.
1524
01:06:10,133 --> 01:06:12,000
I do. We're just
very different.
1525
01:06:12,002 --> 01:06:13,702
I mean, I'm going home
next month for Yom Kippur.
1526
01:06:13,704 --> 01:06:15,403
You probably
don't even know
what that is.
1527
01:06:15,405 --> 01:06:17,706
Yes, I do.
It's the little hats you wear.
1528
01:06:17,708 --> 01:06:20,442
We just have different lives.
We have different references.
1529
01:06:20,444 --> 01:06:22,043
And that's fine, you know.
It's not--
1530
01:06:22,045 --> 01:06:24,646
I'm sorry.
I don't know
all the movies you love.
1531
01:06:24,648 --> 01:06:26,648
I'm sorry that
I work at the mall
1532
01:06:26,650 --> 01:06:29,217
and not some hip
branded content, whatever.
1533
01:06:29,219 --> 01:06:31,586
I'm sorry my parents
couldn't co-sign on a lease.
1534
01:06:31,588 --> 01:06:33,121
Gabriela, that is
not what this is about.
1535
01:06:33,123 --> 01:06:35,690
Then what is it about, Ben?
Tell me.
1536
01:06:37,327 --> 01:06:39,728
In like a month, you're going
to get into law school.
1537
01:06:39,730 --> 01:06:42,263
And we're gonna act
like it's fine,
1538
01:06:42,265 --> 01:06:44,199
and try to play it cool,
but eventually,
1539
01:06:44,201 --> 01:06:46,735
you're gonna meet somebody,
or get back with your ex,
1540
01:06:46,737 --> 01:06:49,471
and I'm just gonna be some story
about some funny Jewish guy
1541
01:06:49,473 --> 01:06:52,374
you dated once,
and that's fine.
1542
01:06:52,376 --> 01:06:54,642
You're probably too nice
for me, anyway.
1543
01:06:54,644 --> 01:06:56,678
But, I don't know,
why waste our time
1544
01:06:56,680 --> 01:06:58,446
gettin' to the inevitable?
1545
01:07:00,751 --> 01:07:02,684
Gabriela, listen, I--
1546
01:07:02,686 --> 01:07:05,153
No, I know you think that just
because you're so self-aware,
1547
01:07:05,155 --> 01:07:07,022
it makes what you say less mean,
1548
01:07:07,024 --> 01:07:08,757
but it doesn't.
1549
01:07:15,599 --> 01:07:17,232
It's been a rough few months,
1550
01:07:17,234 --> 01:07:19,734
but I think
I'm finally over James.
1551
01:07:19,736 --> 01:07:22,804
No longer constantly re-readingher text messages,
1552
01:07:22,806 --> 01:07:24,172
looking for clues
1553
01:07:24,174 --> 01:07:26,608
to when he stopped loving me.
1554
01:07:27,744 --> 01:07:30,145
I'm not incessantly looking at photos
1555
01:07:30,147 --> 01:07:32,047
of him and his new girlfriend.
1556
01:07:32,049 --> 01:07:34,149
And in general, I'm just not holding onto any anger.
1557
01:07:34,151 --> 01:07:39,287
I'm-- I'm doing my art, I'm meeting up with friends,
1558
01:07:39,289 --> 01:07:41,423
I'm exercising.
1559
01:07:41,425 --> 01:07:44,692
[sighs]
Really, I'm doing well.
1560
01:07:44,694 --> 01:07:47,095
[Rock music playing]
1561
01:07:53,703 --> 01:07:57,072
¶ Here it comes again ¶
1562
01:07:57,074 --> 01:07:59,474
-Um, excuse me. Miss?
-[Mel] Yes?
1563
01:07:59,476 --> 01:08:01,643
I just saw
a taco stand back there.
1564
01:08:01,645 --> 01:08:04,813
Um, I'm gonna need you
to head back, please.
1565
01:08:04,815 --> 01:08:06,481
Yeah, I need a burrito.
1566
01:08:06,483 --> 01:08:09,184
¶ See how he's tryin' ¶
1567
01:08:10,353 --> 01:08:11,786
[Mel]
Yeah? You been drinking?
1568
01:08:11,788 --> 01:08:14,522
No. Not a ton.
Just like...
1569
01:08:14,524 --> 01:08:17,292
I was at this networking thing,
and like...
1570
01:08:17,294 --> 01:08:19,360
I don't know,
there's like...
1571
01:08:19,362 --> 01:08:22,764
You know, when you go out,
and you don't expect to see
1572
01:08:22,766 --> 01:08:25,266
this dude that
you've been seeing,
but he's there anyway,
1573
01:08:25,268 --> 01:08:26,835
and he told you
he wasn't gonna be there.
1574
01:08:26,837 --> 01:08:28,203
It's like fine now.
1575
01:08:28,205 --> 01:08:31,139
¶ Watching when it move ¶
1576
01:08:32,242 --> 01:08:33,875
¶ He's a funny man who ¶
1577
01:08:33,877 --> 01:08:35,743
[man] You said you were
gonna be here in ten minutes.
1578
01:08:35,745 --> 01:08:37,345
-Well, that's the app.
-You came in like 15 minutes.
1579
01:08:37,347 --> 01:08:38,880
-That's not me.
-No, no, no.
1580
01:08:38,882 --> 01:08:40,715
You were like staying
in one spot the whole time.
1581
01:08:40,717 --> 01:08:42,350
What were you--
What were you doing
1582
01:08:42,352 --> 01:08:43,718
for those
like extra five minutes
1583
01:08:43,720 --> 01:08:45,320
just sitting there?
1584
01:08:47,891 --> 01:08:52,627
¶ When all the good time are around ¶
1585
01:08:54,731 --> 01:08:56,464
¶ Go ahead and laugh ¶
1586
01:08:58,168 --> 01:09:01,402
Thanks for waiting.
I need to get--
1587
01:09:01,404 --> 01:09:02,904
Hey, do I know you?
1588
01:09:02,906 --> 01:09:05,306
-I don't think so.
-I'm good with faces.
1589
01:09:05,308 --> 01:09:07,242
I think you were my driver
a few months ago.
1590
01:09:07,244 --> 01:09:08,810
I get a lot of passengers.
1591
01:09:08,812 --> 01:09:10,345
The artist, right?
1592
01:09:10,347 --> 01:09:11,613
It's L.A.
There are a lot of artists.
1593
01:09:11,615 --> 01:09:14,716
-Melissa?
-Yeah.
1594
01:09:14,718 --> 01:09:16,518
Where are you going?
1595
01:09:16,520 --> 01:09:18,586
Why don't you clock out and
let me take you out somewhere.
1596
01:09:18,588 --> 01:09:20,421
I don't like bars.
Too noisy.
1597
01:09:20,423 --> 01:09:22,457
Why don't we go somewhere quiet?
We can talk.
1598
01:09:22,459 --> 01:09:24,292
I don't feel much like talking.
1599
01:09:28,899 --> 01:09:30,732
The quiet sounds nice.
1600
01:09:30,734 --> 01:09:33,434
[Wanda Davis' "Where Did
You Sleep Last Night" playing]
1601
01:09:34,337 --> 01:09:36,437
¶ I would shiver ¶
1602
01:09:36,439 --> 01:09:39,174
¶ The whole night through ¶
1603
01:09:39,176 --> 01:09:41,409
What happened?
You were so brazen before?
1604
01:09:41,411 --> 01:09:43,411
I-I know, I'm just--
1605
01:09:50,253 --> 01:09:51,553
You're shaking.
1606
01:09:51,555 --> 01:09:53,821
I-I-I don't-- I'm--
1607
01:09:53,823 --> 01:09:55,890
[sighs]
I just got out of
1608
01:09:55,892 --> 01:09:57,525
-a relationship.
-It's all right, just relax.
1609
01:09:57,527 --> 01:10:00,361
Just relax. All right?
1610
01:10:00,730 --> 01:10:02,230
Okay.
1611
01:10:17,981 --> 01:10:22,417
¶ My girl, my girl ¶
1612
01:10:24,554 --> 01:10:27,488
¶ You can't hide from me ¶
1613
01:10:29,292 --> 01:10:35,296
¶ Tell me where did you sleep last night ¶
1614
01:10:36,866 --> 01:10:38,499
¶ In the pines ¶
1615
01:10:38,501 --> 01:10:42,904
-¶ In the pines ¶
-[moaning]
1616
01:10:42,906 --> 01:10:47,709
¶ Where the sun never shines ¶
1617
01:10:47,711 --> 01:10:52,847
¶ I would shiver the whole night through ¶
1618
01:11:04,494 --> 01:11:09,831
I just realized that my ex
was not good at that.
1619
01:11:10,867 --> 01:11:12,300
Okay.
1620
01:11:12,302 --> 01:11:14,335
Now you've made it.
1621
01:11:16,006 --> 01:11:19,540
Actually, I'm gonna go.
1622
01:11:21,011 --> 01:11:23,478
-What, are you kidding?
-No.
1623
01:11:23,480 --> 01:11:26,681
But... this was a lot of fun.
1624
01:11:27,717 --> 01:11:29,951
And we should
do it again sometime.
1625
01:11:29,953 --> 01:11:31,352
Wait.
1626
01:11:32,022 --> 01:11:33,621
[chuckles]
Wait.
1627
01:11:33,623 --> 01:11:34,989
Hey, that's not fair!
1628
01:11:34,991 --> 01:11:37,358
[upbeat music playing]
1629
01:11:44,968 --> 01:11:47,402
[quietly crying]
1630
01:11:50,573 --> 01:11:53,374
[Wagner's "Flight of the
Valkyries" playing
over speakers]
1631
01:11:59,382 --> 01:12:01,015
[slow music playing]
1632
01:12:11,895 --> 01:12:13,094
[notification dings]
1633
01:12:18,468 --> 01:12:19,901
[notification dings]
1634
01:12:26,676 --> 01:12:28,443
-Say something Jewish.
-What?
1635
01:12:28,445 --> 01:12:30,411
So act,
talk like a Jewish person.
1636
01:12:30,413 --> 01:12:31,512
Oh, yeah, like a...
1637
01:12:31,514 --> 01:12:33,114
Oy. Oh, my back!
[groans]
1638
01:12:33,116 --> 01:12:34,916
And-and like Hebrew stuff.
1639
01:12:34,918 --> 01:12:36,384
Oh. Oh, oh, yeah.
1640
01:12:36,386 --> 01:12:37,585
[stammers]
1641
01:12:37,587 --> 01:12:39,387
[speaking Hebrew]
1642
01:12:40,090 --> 01:12:41,122
Oh, my God...
1643
01:12:41,124 --> 01:12:42,757
[continues Hebrew]
1644
01:12:48,431 --> 01:12:50,064
[clears throat]
1645
01:12:53,036 --> 01:12:54,435
[coughs]
1646
01:12:56,806 --> 01:12:58,406
[coughs]
1647
01:13:00,410 --> 01:13:01,876
[sighs]
1648
01:13:03,413 --> 01:13:05,113
Um...
1649
01:13:05,115 --> 01:13:06,547
Can you pass me my phone?
1650
01:13:06,549 --> 01:13:08,049
-[Ben] Oh, yeah.
-Thanks.
1651
01:13:11,121 --> 01:13:13,020
Who's, uh, who's this?
1652
01:13:13,022 --> 01:13:14,889
Oh, my boyfriend David.
1653
01:13:14,891 --> 01:13:16,624
Y-Your boyfriend?
1654
01:13:16,626 --> 01:13:19,026
I'm sorry,
I-I don't understand.
1655
01:13:19,028 --> 01:13:21,662
Oh, um, he has problems
getting hard.
1656
01:13:21,664 --> 01:13:24,932
He has since February,
and, um, you know, I love him,
1657
01:13:24,934 --> 01:13:27,702
and want to make things work,
so I just...
1658
01:13:27,704 --> 01:13:30,905
have certain urges
to satisfy, you know.
1659
01:13:30,907 --> 01:13:32,874
So you just...
1660
01:13:32,876 --> 01:13:34,442
You just go
on Tinder and--
1661
01:13:34,444 --> 01:13:36,177
Well, does
your boyfriend know?
1662
01:13:36,179 --> 01:13:37,712
[chuckles]
Come on.
1663
01:13:37,714 --> 01:13:38,946
I'm sorry,
I just don't understand
1664
01:13:38,948 --> 01:13:41,048
how you can be
so cavalier
1665
01:13:41,050 --> 01:13:43,751
about betraying the person
that you supposedly love.
1666
01:13:43,753 --> 01:13:46,521
Because I'm not
betraying him.
1667
01:13:46,523 --> 01:13:47,889
I'm fighting for him.
1668
01:13:47,891 --> 01:13:49,590
I'm fighting
for our relationship.
1669
01:13:49,592 --> 01:13:51,692
I love him, and yes,
1670
01:13:51,694 --> 01:13:53,528
we have a couple
little incompatibilities,
1671
01:13:53,530 --> 01:13:55,663
but that's
not important to me,
1672
01:13:55,665 --> 01:13:57,965
and I'm not just
gonna run away from him
1673
01:13:57,967 --> 01:13:59,434
because things get hard.
1674
01:13:59,436 --> 01:14:01,135
Or soft.
1675
01:14:01,137 --> 01:14:02,603
Like his kiss.
1676
01:14:02,605 --> 01:14:04,138
I feel used.
1677
01:14:04,140 --> 01:14:06,607
Well, that's dating.
1678
01:14:14,984 --> 01:14:16,918
[taps on table]
1679
01:14:19,622 --> 01:14:21,155
You can sit
on the couch, you know.
1680
01:14:21,157 --> 01:14:22,957
No, I'm-- I'm good here.
1681
01:14:25,929 --> 01:14:28,529
So what's, uh,
what's goin' on?
1682
01:14:28,531 --> 01:14:29,997
How's, how's work?
1683
01:14:31,100 --> 01:14:33,100
[sighs]
I'm just about to quit.
1684
01:14:33,102 --> 01:14:35,570
When we were dating,
weren't you just about to quit?
1685
01:14:36,706 --> 01:14:38,506
How's Gabriela?
1686
01:14:39,542 --> 01:14:40,942
It's not
really happening anymore.
1687
01:14:40,944 --> 01:14:42,543
Oh, I'm sorry
to hear that.
1688
01:14:42,545 --> 01:14:43,644
[dry chuckle]
1689
01:14:43,646 --> 01:14:45,112
-What?
-Nothing.
1690
01:14:45,114 --> 01:14:47,248
How's, uh, Desmond?
1691
01:14:47,250 --> 01:14:48,883
Dustin.
1692
01:14:48,885 --> 01:14:52,620
Yeah, well,
that's over with too.
1693
01:14:52,622 --> 01:14:54,789
I guess
we wanted different things.
1694
01:14:54,791 --> 01:14:57,258
Well, I never cared for him.
1695
01:14:57,260 --> 01:14:58,893
[dry chuckle]
1696
01:15:02,131 --> 01:15:03,731
You know,
I'm glad that you're here.
1697
01:15:03,733 --> 01:15:06,167
-Really?
-Yeah, it's nice to see you.
1698
01:15:06,169 --> 01:15:08,569
Nice? Nice, how?
1699
01:15:08,571 --> 01:15:09,904
What's, uh,
what's so nice about it?
1700
01:15:09,906 --> 01:15:11,539
-Ben, come on.
-No, seriously.
1701
01:15:11,541 --> 01:15:12,940
What's, what's good about it?
1702
01:15:12,942 --> 01:15:14,075
What's so nice--?
What--?
1703
01:15:14,077 --> 01:15:15,710
Look, just because--
I-I--
1704
01:15:15,712 --> 01:15:17,745
Can I just say
that it's nice to see you,
1705
01:15:17,747 --> 01:15:20,248
-without you freaking out?
-Because it's not nice
to see you.
1706
01:15:20,250 --> 01:15:22,950
Not for me.
It's very difficult.
1707
01:15:24,087 --> 01:15:26,854
All right, it's tough
being here with you.
1708
01:15:26,856 --> 01:15:29,290
You think just because
I want us to be friends
1709
01:15:29,292 --> 01:15:32,627
that somehow
that means that you're--
1710
01:15:32,629 --> 01:15:34,529
that you like me
more than I like you?
1711
01:15:34,531 --> 01:15:36,297
Yeah, exactly,
because if you cared about me
1712
01:15:36,299 --> 01:15:38,132
a fraction as much
as I cared about you,
1713
01:15:38,134 --> 01:15:40,568
this would be
just as hard for you.
1714
01:15:40,570 --> 01:15:42,570
No. No.
1715
01:15:42,572 --> 01:15:44,305
Because we were
best friends
1716
01:15:44,307 --> 01:15:46,307
for four years.
1717
01:15:46,309 --> 01:15:48,743
And then,
and then we break up
1718
01:15:48,745 --> 01:15:51,846
and, and you cut
me out of your life.
1719
01:15:54,083 --> 01:15:56,617
What, do you think that
I don't think about you?
1720
01:15:56,619 --> 01:15:58,953
That I don't wonder
what you're doing
1721
01:15:58,955 --> 01:16:01,155
or just what you're up to?
1722
01:16:02,725 --> 01:16:04,759
I can't--
1723
01:16:04,761 --> 01:16:07,929
I mean, don't you wonder
what's going on in my life
1724
01:16:07,931 --> 01:16:09,230
and what I'm doing?
1725
01:16:09,232 --> 01:16:10,731
Of course I do.
1726
01:16:10,733 --> 01:16:12,066
Just because
I want you in my life,
1727
01:16:12,068 --> 01:16:13,935
doesn't mean that this
is any easier for me
1728
01:16:13,937 --> 01:16:15,603
than it is for you.
1729
01:16:16,205 --> 01:16:17,672
[sighs]
1730
01:16:21,711 --> 01:16:24,178
Sorry for freezing you out.
1731
01:16:26,015 --> 01:16:28,282
I was just too...
1732
01:16:29,319 --> 01:16:30,952
I know.
1733
01:16:34,657 --> 01:16:38,159
Fine.
We can be Facebook friends.
1734
01:16:38,161 --> 01:16:40,027
But I'm not gonna follow
you on Twitter.
1735
01:16:40,029 --> 01:16:42,363
[Greg Holden's
"Nothing Else Matters" playing]
1736
01:16:45,969 --> 01:16:49,370
¶ It's been a long summer ¶
1737
01:16:49,372 --> 01:16:53,207
¶ But the cool air is close ¶
1738
01:16:53,209 --> 01:16:56,377
¶ I lost a lover ¶
1739
01:16:56,379 --> 01:16:59,780
¶ And made friends with ghosts ¶
1740
01:16:59,782 --> 01:17:03,784
¶ But I'm out from the covers ¶
1741
01:17:03,786 --> 01:17:06,387
¶ Letting go ¶
1742
01:17:06,389 --> 01:17:10,257
¶ And I'm finding my way ¶
1743
01:17:10,259 --> 01:17:13,227
¶ And nothing else matters ¶
1744
01:17:13,229 --> 01:17:17,231
¶ I push through the pain ¶
1745
01:17:17,233 --> 01:17:19,934
¶ Nothing else matters ¶
1746
01:17:19,936 --> 01:17:23,704
¶ I'm doing okay ¶
1747
01:17:23,706 --> 01:17:28,743
¶ And nothing else matters to me ¶
1748
01:17:30,413 --> 01:17:35,916
¶ Nothing else matters to me ¶
1749
01:17:40,156 --> 01:17:42,390
[Gabriela]
Ben, what are
you doing here?
1750
01:17:42,392 --> 01:17:44,425
Hey. Uh...
1751
01:17:44,427 --> 01:17:46,193
[dry chuckle]
1752
01:17:46,195 --> 01:17:48,829
I don't know.
Uh, I-- I wanted
to congratulate you
1753
01:17:48,831 --> 01:17:51,265
on-on getting
into law school.
1754
01:17:51,267 --> 01:17:52,733
Thanks.
1755
01:17:52,735 --> 01:17:55,803
So you leave
in a couple months?
1756
01:17:56,439 --> 01:17:58,339
Looks like it.
1757
01:17:58,341 --> 01:18:00,408
I'm excited.
I've never been
to New York before.
1758
01:18:00,410 --> 01:18:02,276
Oh, you're
gonna love it.
1759
01:18:03,312 --> 01:18:05,680
And, uh,
how have you been?
1760
01:18:05,682 --> 01:18:07,281
I've been--
I've been good. Good.
1761
01:18:07,283 --> 01:18:10,317
Uh, I just got a job
as a writer's assistant
1762
01:18:10,319 --> 01:18:13,087
for this Nickelodeon show,
'cause my uncle went
1763
01:18:13,089 --> 01:18:14,989
to Hebrew school
with the creator, so...
1764
01:18:14,991 --> 01:18:17,925
Right, because
the Jews run show business.
1765
01:18:17,927 --> 01:18:20,361
If nothing else, I was glad
I was able to pass on
1766
01:18:20,363 --> 01:18:22,363
a little bit of basic
anti-Semitism to you.
1767
01:18:23,166 --> 01:18:24,465
Yeah.
1768
01:18:24,467 --> 01:18:25,966
Um...
1769
01:18:27,970 --> 01:18:30,104
See, Gabriela,
I-I'm sorry
1770
01:18:30,106 --> 01:18:33,474
about how things ended
between us.
1771
01:18:34,477 --> 01:18:36,377
You know, everything
happened so fast,
1772
01:18:36,379 --> 01:18:38,045
it almost didn't seem real.
1773
01:18:38,047 --> 01:18:40,214
Does that make any sense?
Like just one second,
1774
01:18:40,216 --> 01:18:42,049
you're this picture on my phone
and the next second
1775
01:18:42,051 --> 01:18:45,319
I'm eating a cow's heart
in your backyard and...
1776
01:18:45,321 --> 01:18:46,887
I panicked.
1777
01:18:46,889 --> 01:18:48,489
You know,
I thought Tinder threw me
1778
01:18:48,491 --> 01:18:50,257
into this situation that
I wasn't supposed to be in,
1779
01:18:50,259 --> 01:18:52,059
and I thought I could
just swipe it away,
1780
01:18:52,061 --> 01:18:54,495
'cause it's easier
to blame things on the phone,
1781
01:18:54,497 --> 01:18:58,132
you know, on these apps
then to admit that...
1782
01:18:58,134 --> 01:19:00,935
You know, I was--
I was scared...
1783
01:19:01,738 --> 01:19:04,805
'cause, um...
1784
01:19:05,975 --> 01:19:08,943
I think you're
an amazing person, Gabriela.
1785
01:19:10,012 --> 01:19:13,447
I'm really sorry,
uh, and I hope
1786
01:19:13,449 --> 01:19:15,883
you can forgive me
for not knowing
1787
01:19:15,885 --> 01:19:17,485
what was real in the moment.
1788
01:19:20,156 --> 01:19:21,455
Yeah.
1789
01:19:22,258 --> 01:19:23,524
I can forgive you.
1790
01:19:23,526 --> 01:19:25,226
Really?
1791
01:19:25,228 --> 01:19:27,995
Well, you made
the whole dramatic speech.
1792
01:19:27,997 --> 01:19:29,330
[groans]
Oh, goddamn it.
1793
01:19:29,332 --> 01:19:31,265
It was
so much better in the car.
1794
01:19:32,935 --> 01:19:34,535
Quit it. Come on,
do you want to come in?
1795
01:19:34,537 --> 01:19:36,470
-Yeah, that'd be great.
-Okay. Okay.
1796
01:19:36,472 --> 01:19:37,538
I would love that.
1797
01:19:37,540 --> 01:19:39,840
-Thanks.
-[Gabriela chuckles]
1798
01:19:52,255 --> 01:19:54,388
[slide viewer whirring]
1799
01:19:54,390 --> 01:19:57,258
[Mel]
Is Dustin coming?
1800
01:19:57,260 --> 01:19:59,059
You know, it's fine.
1801
01:19:59,061 --> 01:20:01,796
I'm over it.
And I just decided
1802
01:20:01,798 --> 01:20:04,131
that I am
not going to date anyone
1803
01:20:04,133 --> 01:20:06,567
for at least three months
because I did the math,
1804
01:20:06,569 --> 01:20:08,302
and the longest
I've ever been single
1805
01:20:08,304 --> 01:20:09,870
was two and a half months.
1806
01:20:09,872 --> 01:20:11,505
That doesn't count.
You had lime disease.
1807
01:20:11,507 --> 01:20:13,908
But I was single,
as I am now.
1808
01:20:13,910 --> 01:20:16,577
And that's,
that's all that matters.
I feel good about it.
1809
01:20:16,579 --> 01:20:19,380
Well, I'm really happy
for you, Rachel.
1810
01:20:19,382 --> 01:20:22,850
Yeah. I just feel like
I need to focus on myself,
1811
01:20:22,852 --> 01:20:24,552
I'm quitting my job.
1812
01:20:24,554 --> 01:20:26,854
And dating
just gets in the way of it all.
1813
01:20:26,856 --> 01:20:28,289
Richard?
1814
01:20:29,292 --> 01:20:30,491
Rachel...
1815
01:20:31,828 --> 01:20:33,561
When my wife left me,
1816
01:20:33,563 --> 01:20:36,564
I felt like I had lost
the will to want
1817
01:20:36,566 --> 01:20:39,333
anything ever again.
1818
01:20:40,570 --> 01:20:42,903
And then I met you,
1819
01:20:42,905 --> 01:20:46,040
and the feelings
I had scared me.
1820
01:20:46,042 --> 01:20:48,909
I had a daughter
I had to look after,
1821
01:20:48,911 --> 01:20:50,511
and I didn't want to hurt you,
1822
01:20:50,513 --> 01:20:53,581
and that's why
I stopped calling.
1823
01:20:53,583 --> 01:20:55,382
Oh, I actually stopped
calling you.
1824
01:20:55,384 --> 01:20:57,084
Rachel,
I've been asked to join
1825
01:20:57,086 --> 01:20:58,953
some of the top chiropractors
in the world
1826
01:20:58,955 --> 01:21:01,555
at a conference in Barcelona.
Come with me.
1827
01:21:01,557 --> 01:21:04,024
You want to take me
to Barcelona?
1828
01:21:04,026 --> 01:21:05,593
Flight leaves in two hours.
1829
01:21:05,595 --> 01:21:07,261
Oh, my God.
1830
01:21:07,263 --> 01:21:08,529
Wow, this is happening so fast.
1831
01:21:08,531 --> 01:21:10,030
I-I need to pack.
1832
01:21:10,032 --> 01:21:11,966
We'll buy you new clothes
when we get there.
1833
01:21:11,968 --> 01:21:13,133
Okay.
1834
01:21:13,135 --> 01:21:16,036
-Yes, yes, yes.
-[Mel vocalizes]
1835
01:21:16,038 --> 01:21:17,872
-Oh, my God.
-Come on, we got to go.
1836
01:21:17,874 --> 01:21:20,341
-Okay.
-Rachel, are you sure
you want to do this?
1837
01:21:20,343 --> 01:21:23,143
Oh, I have never been more sure
about anything in my life.
1838
01:21:24,614 --> 01:21:26,080
Uh...
1839
01:21:26,082 --> 01:21:27,648
Uh, Melissa, right?
1840
01:21:27,650 --> 01:21:31,352
-What? Yeah.
-I'm, uh, I'm Wes.
1841
01:21:31,354 --> 01:21:33,921
I'm the director
of communications
for Swyft corporate.
1842
01:21:33,923 --> 01:21:35,522
Look, I've been following
your customer reviews.
1843
01:21:35,524 --> 01:21:37,124
You seem to really have
a way with people.
1844
01:21:37,126 --> 01:21:38,659
Um, I'm sorry,
I'm confused.
1845
01:21:38,661 --> 01:21:40,961
Are you--
Are you buying
one of my zoetropes?
1846
01:21:40,963 --> 01:21:43,664
No. We're looking for someone
to work in the office.
1847
01:21:43,666 --> 01:21:45,399
In customer service.
1848
01:21:45,401 --> 01:21:47,067
-Oh.
-It's a 9-to-5.
1849
01:21:47,069 --> 01:21:49,937
But we have benefits,
if you're interested.
1850
01:21:56,646 --> 01:21:58,112
Did I miss it?
1851
01:21:59,482 --> 01:22:02,249
[James] You keep this room
cleaner than we did ours.
1852
01:22:03,920 --> 01:22:06,553
I was not that messy.
1853
01:22:06,555 --> 01:22:09,056
[laughs]
Yeah, you were.
1854
01:22:11,661 --> 01:22:13,160
I just...
1855
01:22:13,162 --> 01:22:15,129
I can't believe
you guys broke up.
1856
01:22:15,698 --> 01:22:17,264
You seemed so happy.
1857
01:22:17,266 --> 01:22:19,366
According to Facebook,
you guys were,
1858
01:22:19,368 --> 01:22:22,569
you know, on the beach,
kissing at sunset,
1859
01:22:22,571 --> 01:22:23,971
at least once a week.
1860
01:22:23,973 --> 01:22:25,706
[groans]
How else do you expect
1861
01:22:25,708 --> 01:22:28,609
her old sorority sisters to know
that she was happier than them?
1862
01:22:28,611 --> 01:22:31,278
-[chuckles]
-So what happened?
1863
01:22:33,482 --> 01:22:35,249
Well, we just...
1864
01:22:37,186 --> 01:22:39,954
We realized we didn't have
anything in common, really.
1865
01:22:39,956 --> 01:22:42,156
[scoffs]
What are you talking about?
1866
01:22:42,158 --> 01:22:43,590
You guys grew up together.
1867
01:22:43,592 --> 01:22:47,094
Yeah, I mean,
reminiscing about the past
1868
01:22:47,096 --> 01:22:49,663
was fun and all, and...
1869
01:22:49,665 --> 01:22:52,666
You know, she left
her fiancé, and...
1870
01:22:52,668 --> 01:22:55,703
that was riveting
for a little bit,
1871
01:22:55,705 --> 01:22:58,439
but then,
you know, we realized
1872
01:22:58,441 --> 01:23:00,207
we didn't know each
other at all.
1873
01:23:01,344 --> 01:23:04,478
You know, we had this idea
of one another,
1874
01:23:04,480 --> 01:23:09,316
and this idea
from back in high school,
1875
01:23:09,318 --> 01:23:11,251
but...
1876
01:23:11,253 --> 01:23:13,287
Yeah, it was, it was nothing.
1877
01:23:16,625 --> 01:23:19,259
-I'm sorry to hear that.
-[kisses]
1878
01:23:23,432 --> 01:23:24,698
Don't be.
1879
01:23:31,040 --> 01:23:33,140
Okay, okay.
1880
01:23:33,142 --> 01:23:35,342
Calm down. [laughs]
1881
01:23:36,445 --> 01:23:38,278
And...
1882
01:23:38,280 --> 01:23:42,016
there's someone coming over
in a few hours, and...
1883
01:23:42,018 --> 01:23:45,786
I need to do some work
and get ready.
1884
01:23:47,323 --> 01:23:49,356
Yeah. Okay.
1885
01:23:50,126 --> 01:23:51,492
All right, I'm...
1886
01:23:51,494 --> 01:23:54,194
I'm really glad
to see you, and...
1887
01:23:54,196 --> 01:23:57,364
I don't regret
that this happened.
1888
01:23:57,800 --> 01:24:00,267
Yeah, well...
1889
01:24:01,404 --> 01:24:03,637
we'll probably
regret it tomorrow, but...
1890
01:24:08,744 --> 01:24:10,744
-[chuckles]
-But who knows?
1891
01:24:10,746 --> 01:24:12,579
Maybe later...
1892
01:24:13,315 --> 01:24:15,682
it won't even matter.
1893
01:24:15,684 --> 01:24:18,085
Hey, can I ask
you a question?
1894
01:24:19,789 --> 01:24:22,489
Yeah.
What's up?
1895
01:24:24,727 --> 01:24:26,627
Why did you propose?
1896
01:24:32,668 --> 01:24:34,268
I don't know.
1897
01:24:35,204 --> 01:24:37,171
I guess I just...
1898
01:24:38,507 --> 01:24:41,108
I wanted to make
a decision about something.
1899
01:24:42,378 --> 01:24:45,212
I wanted something in
my life to be definite.
1900
01:24:45,848 --> 01:24:47,681
[quietly]
Okay.
1901
01:24:49,285 --> 01:24:51,852
-Melissa.
-Wayne!
1902
01:24:54,824 --> 01:24:56,690
Yeah, I have the...
1903
01:24:56,692 --> 01:24:59,259
Oh, you have no idea how long
I've been looking for this.
1904
01:24:59,261 --> 01:25:00,828
[chuckles]
Cool.
1905
01:25:00,830 --> 01:25:01,862
Well, have...
1906
01:25:01,864 --> 01:25:04,164
Well, uh, thanks!
1907
01:25:04,834 --> 01:25:06,633
Yeah.
1908
01:25:06,635 --> 01:25:07,835
[grunts]
1909
01:25:30,826 --> 01:25:32,392
Fuck.
1910
01:25:33,162 --> 01:25:35,129
It's not the right one.
1911
01:25:36,365 --> 01:25:38,398
So there was
no chiropractic convention
1912
01:25:38,400 --> 01:25:39,800
in Barcelona.
1913
01:25:39,802 --> 01:25:41,301
I got into Richards car,
1914
01:25:41,303 --> 01:25:43,337
had a glass
of celebratory champagne
1915
01:25:43,339 --> 01:25:44,838
that he insisted on,
1916
01:25:44,840 --> 01:25:46,373
and then...
1917
01:25:46,375 --> 01:25:47,541
nothing.
1918
01:25:47,543 --> 01:25:50,777
On the night
of September 22nd, 2016,
1919
01:25:50,779 --> 01:25:53,247
at approximately 7:23 p.m.,
1920
01:25:53,249 --> 01:25:55,782
I pulled over
a black Mercedes sedan
1921
01:25:55,784 --> 01:25:58,519
on the corner
of Fountain and Normandie,
1922
01:25:58,521 --> 01:26:00,888
because I believed
the driver to be texting
1923
01:26:00,890 --> 01:26:02,389
while driving.
1924
01:26:02,391 --> 01:26:05,192
The driver,
one Richard Kaplan,
1925
01:26:05,194 --> 01:26:07,294
gives his license
and registration,
1926
01:26:07,296 --> 01:26:09,196
and I was about to let
him off with a warning,
1927
01:26:09,198 --> 01:26:11,732
when I noticed
a persistent buzzing
1928
01:26:11,734 --> 01:26:13,834
coming from the trunk
of the vehicle.
1929
01:26:13,836 --> 01:26:16,336
Upon opening the trunk,
I discovered
1930
01:26:16,338 --> 01:26:17,938
Miss Strauss, unconscious.
1931
01:26:17,940 --> 01:26:20,741
The buzzing was coming
from her phone in her pocket.
1932
01:26:20,743 --> 01:26:23,610
If it had not been
for several women texting her
1933
01:26:23,612 --> 01:26:25,779
regarding brunch plans
for the following day,
1934
01:26:25,781 --> 01:26:28,282
I'm afraid we never would've
found Miss Strauss.
1935
01:26:28,284 --> 01:26:31,251
And we never would've
apprehended Mr. Kaplan,
1936
01:26:31,253 --> 01:26:34,721
who you may know
as the Tindernapper.
1937
01:26:34,723 --> 01:26:36,256
The Tindernapper.
1938
01:26:36,258 --> 01:26:37,758
That's what they came up with.
1939
01:26:37,760 --> 01:26:39,826
It was clever,
but a little inaccurate,
1940
01:26:39,828 --> 01:26:43,263
since we met on
an entirely different app.
1941
01:26:43,265 --> 01:26:45,199
But it was a good headline.
1942
01:26:45,201 --> 01:26:47,968
And for a while,
I was kind of famous.
1943
01:26:47,970 --> 01:26:51,638
I wrote the most viewed
editorial HuffPo history
1944
01:26:51,640 --> 01:26:53,407
about the experience.
1945
01:26:53,409 --> 01:26:55,209
I had to elaborate a little,
1946
01:26:55,211 --> 01:26:58,278
because essentially, I got
into a car and took a nap,
1947
01:26:58,280 --> 01:27:00,914
but I sold
the rights to my story to Hulu,
1948
01:27:00,916 --> 01:27:02,349
and with the money,
1949
01:27:02,351 --> 01:27:03,784
I finally quit my job
1950
01:27:03,786 --> 01:27:06,220
and bought a one-way ticket
to Barcelona.
1951
01:27:06,956 --> 01:27:08,722
I just felt like
I didn't need
1952
01:27:08,724 --> 01:27:11,925
to wait
for a relationship to go.
1953
01:27:11,927 --> 01:27:13,794
I should just go.
1954
01:27:13,796 --> 01:27:15,229
So I went.
1955
01:27:15,231 --> 01:27:16,863
And it was amazing.
1956
01:27:16,865 --> 01:27:18,732
For four days.
1957
01:27:18,734 --> 01:27:20,400
Then I got lonely,
1958
01:27:20,402 --> 01:27:24,605
and I ended up signing up
an online dating app
1959
01:27:24,607 --> 01:27:27,841
for Americans
who were staying abroad.
1960
01:27:27,843 --> 01:27:29,743
-And I ma--
-We matched again.
1961
01:27:29,745 --> 01:27:31,345
[chuckles]
Hi. Todd.
1962
01:27:31,347 --> 01:27:32,679
Um, yeah, I was just--
1963
01:27:32,681 --> 01:27:34,581
I was randomly
also in Barcelona.
1964
01:27:34,583 --> 01:27:37,584
I was actually there
as the international judge
1965
01:27:37,586 --> 01:27:39,553
for a local tapas
competition,
1966
01:27:39,555 --> 01:27:42,022
and, uh, I remember
I had just taken a break
1967
01:27:42,024 --> 01:27:45,025
after having a particularly
delicious croquette de pollo,
1968
01:27:45,027 --> 01:27:48,362
and I looked at my phone,
and I saw the message
from Rachel, and I--
1969
01:27:48,364 --> 01:27:50,664
Why do you always have to
mention the croquette de pollo
1970
01:27:50,666 --> 01:27:52,733
every time you tell the story?
Why can't you just say,
1971
01:27:52,735 --> 01:27:56,770
"I judged a competition,
and I saw Rachel on my phone"?
1972
01:27:56,772 --> 01:27:58,472
Oh, I'm--
1973
01:27:58,474 --> 01:27:59,873
I'm s-- I'm so sorry,
I didn't realize
1974
01:27:59,875 --> 01:28:01,675
you didn't like
croquettes de pollo?
1975
01:28:01,677 --> 01:28:04,278
-I was--
-No. It's not
that I don't like--
1976
01:28:05,481 --> 01:28:07,014
No. I'm sorry.
1977
01:28:07,016 --> 01:28:09,683
I interrupted you.
1978
01:28:09,685 --> 01:28:11,285
Continue.
1979
01:28:12,621 --> 01:28:14,921
She's so patient with me.
[laughs]
1980
01:28:14,923 --> 01:28:16,723
Things are great.
I'm in New York,
1981
01:28:16,725 --> 01:28:19,026
but Ben visits a lot,
and I obviously go home a lot,
1982
01:28:19,028 --> 01:28:20,861
so we see each other
pretty often.
1983
01:28:20,863 --> 01:28:24,298
Yeah, with all the Skype'ing
and texting, and, uh...
1984
01:28:24,300 --> 01:28:25,899
all that stuff,
1985
01:28:25,901 --> 01:28:27,868
honestly, it really
hardly even feels
1986
01:28:27,870 --> 01:28:29,903
-like a long distance
relationship.
-Ah, yeah.
1987
01:28:29,905 --> 01:28:32,039
[female interviewer]
Do you think you're
in a relationship
1988
01:28:32,041 --> 01:28:34,941
because of online dating
or in spite of it?
1989
01:28:36,312 --> 01:28:38,512
I think it's kind of
a mix of the two.
1990
01:28:38,514 --> 01:28:41,381
Uh, I used to get embarrassed
when people asked how we met.
1991
01:28:41,383 --> 01:28:43,717
I wanted a fun,
romantic story,
1992
01:28:43,719 --> 01:28:45,752
and Tinder didn't feel
fun or romantic,
1993
01:28:45,754 --> 01:28:47,921
but then I started thinking
about the fact that
1994
01:28:47,923 --> 01:28:49,956
one night,
a year and a half ago,
1995
01:28:49,958 --> 01:28:52,959
I signed up for Tinder
at my friend Manuela's
apartment,
1996
01:28:52,961 --> 01:28:54,728
swiped right
on the photo of Ben,
1997
01:28:54,730 --> 01:28:57,064
who was 3.7 miles away
at his apartment,
1998
01:28:57,066 --> 01:28:59,032
because I liked his smile,
1999
01:28:59,034 --> 01:29:02,002
and then I started thinking,
what if Manuela had come
to my house?
2000
01:29:02,004 --> 01:29:03,904
Or, what if I had gone
to her place,
2001
01:29:03,906 --> 01:29:07,040
but didn't let her pressure me
into downloading the app?
2002
01:29:07,042 --> 01:29:08,842
Or...
2003
01:29:08,844 --> 01:29:11,011
what if Ben had picked
a different profile picture
2004
01:29:11,013 --> 01:29:13,447
where he wasn't smiling
and I never noticed
him in the first place?
2005
01:29:13,449 --> 01:29:16,116
Uh, I don't know, after I was
thinking all these things,
2006
01:29:16,118 --> 01:29:19,786
suddenly, the story of how
Ben and I met felt...
2007
01:29:20,789 --> 01:29:24,558
It's like fate
with a GPS function.
2008
01:29:24,560 --> 01:29:26,093
-[laughs]
-Yeah. Yeah.
2009
01:29:26,095 --> 01:29:27,894
Yeah, right?
Something like that.
2010
01:29:27,896 --> 01:29:32,799
Bumble, Tinder,
Grindr, Scruff, whatever.
2011
01:29:32,801 --> 01:29:34,534
I think
they're great and all,
2012
01:29:34,536 --> 01:29:37,137
but me, I'd rather meet guys
the old fashioned way.
2013
01:29:37,139 --> 01:29:39,740
Like Lawrence,
for instance.
2014
01:29:39,742 --> 01:29:42,509
He was this cute boy
who will just come in
2015
01:29:42,511 --> 01:29:44,111
to my restaurant,
and one day,
2016
01:29:44,113 --> 01:29:46,079
I got the courage
to ask him out.
2017
01:29:46,081 --> 01:29:48,115
I didn't need technology
or anything.
2018
01:29:48,117 --> 01:29:51,017
And I think
it's better that way.
2019
01:29:51,019 --> 01:29:52,986
Mmm. Mmm.
2020
01:29:52,988 --> 01:29:55,956
[interviewer]
Lawrence, did you notice Marco
2021
01:29:55,958 --> 01:29:57,824
before he asked you out?
2022
01:29:57,826 --> 01:29:59,626
I mean...
2023
01:29:59,628 --> 01:30:02,162
[interviewer] Did you ever give
online dating another chance?
2024
01:30:02,164 --> 01:30:04,664
Well, I deleted it,
2025
01:30:04,666 --> 01:30:07,434
and then I re-downloaded it,
and then I deleted it again,
2026
01:30:07,436 --> 01:30:10,103
and then it's just kind of like
been going like that for awhile.
2027
01:30:10,105 --> 01:30:12,072
I just felt like whenever,
2028
01:30:12,074 --> 01:30:14,441
you know, a guy liked me,
I didn't really like him back,
2029
01:30:14,443 --> 01:30:19,146
and, uh, if I liked a guy,
he wasn't really that into me.
2030
01:30:19,148 --> 01:30:21,882
[interviewer]
Are you seeing anyone now?
2031
01:30:21,884 --> 01:30:23,417
Not really.
2032
01:30:24,420 --> 01:30:26,953
Uh, it's not that serious.
2033
01:30:26,955 --> 01:30:30,023
I, uh, yeah,
we're, we're just,
2034
01:30:30,025 --> 01:30:33,693
we're havin' fun,
you know, so...
2035
01:30:34,930 --> 01:30:37,531
Uh, being single's
actually really...
2036
01:30:37,533 --> 01:30:39,866
Awful. Firstly,
no one is getting laid
2037
01:30:39,868 --> 01:30:41,535
as much as they say they are.
2038
01:30:41,537 --> 01:30:42,803
[interviewer]
But you were once so intrigued
2039
01:30:42,805 --> 01:30:44,204
by online dating, no?
2040
01:30:44,206 --> 01:30:46,873
Yeah, I was, but...
2041
01:30:46,875 --> 01:30:49,443
It's like when you're up
late at night
2042
01:30:49,445 --> 01:30:51,211
and you want to watch a movie,
so you start scrolling
2043
01:30:51,213 --> 01:30:54,481
through your Netflix,
your HBO Go,
2044
01:30:54,483 --> 01:30:57,717
your Amazon Prime,
and there's so many options,
2045
01:30:57,719 --> 01:31:00,654
that by the time
you make a decision,
2046
01:31:00,656 --> 01:31:03,056
you're already too tired
to enjoy it in the first place.
2047
01:31:03,058 --> 01:31:04,524
It's like...
2048
01:31:04,526 --> 01:31:06,193
I'll watch
a movie for 20 minutes,
2049
01:31:06,195 --> 01:31:08,762
and then I'll stop it,
and I'll watch another one
2050
01:31:08,764 --> 01:31:10,497
for another 20 minutes,
and I'll do that
2051
01:31:10,499 --> 01:31:12,632
over and over and over again,
because I figure,
2052
01:31:12,634 --> 01:31:15,869
what's the point of watching
a movie that's just okay,
2053
01:31:15,871 --> 01:31:18,205
when out of all these options,
2054
01:31:18,207 --> 01:31:20,941
is my new favorite movie?
2055
01:31:22,044 --> 01:31:24,010
So basically,
2056
01:31:24,012 --> 01:31:26,580
all this just goes to shit
because none of us
2057
01:31:26,582 --> 01:31:28,648
-are gonna be able to--
-[phone notification chimes]
2058
01:31:29,918 --> 01:31:31,184
Sorry.
2059
01:31:35,257 --> 01:31:38,124
Hey, I got a match.
2060
01:31:39,895 --> 01:31:44,631
¶ I got the whole world ¶
2061
01:31:44,633 --> 01:31:46,199
¶ In my hands ¶
2062
01:31:46,201 --> 01:31:48,535
¶ I got the whole wide world ¶
2063
01:31:48,537 --> 01:31:49,970
¶ In my hands ¶
2064
01:31:49,972 --> 01:31:53,273
¶ I got the whole world in my hands ¶
2065
01:31:53,275 --> 01:31:56,209
¶ I got the whole world in my hands ¶
2066
01:31:56,211 --> 01:32:00,514
¶ I got all of my lovers in my hands ¶
2067
01:32:00,516 --> 01:32:04,551
¶ I got all of my lovers in my hands ¶
2068
01:32:04,553 --> 01:32:07,954
¶ I got all my lovers in my hands ¶
2069
01:32:07,956 --> 01:32:11,224
¶ I got the whole world in my hands ¶
2070
01:32:11,226 --> 01:32:15,228
¶ I got all of my exes in my hands ¶
2071
01:32:15,230 --> 01:32:18,932
¶ I got all of my exes in my hands ¶
2072
01:32:18,934 --> 01:32:22,536
¶ I got all my exes in my hands ¶
2073
01:32:22,538 --> 01:32:26,072
¶ I got the whole world in my hands ¶
2074
01:32:26,074 --> 01:32:29,976
¶ I got all of my friends in my hands ¶
2075
01:32:29,978 --> 01:32:33,613
¶ I got all of my friends in my hands ¶
2076
01:32:33,615 --> 01:32:37,217
¶ I got all my friends in my hands ¶
2077
01:32:37,219 --> 01:32:40,987
¶ I got the whole world in my hands ¶
2078
01:32:40,989 --> 01:32:44,624
¶ I got Tinder and Facebook in my hands ¶
2079
01:32:44,626 --> 01:32:48,562
¶ I got Instagram and Grindr in my hands ¶
2080
01:32:48,564 --> 01:32:52,232
¶ I got Snapchat and Twitter in my hands ¶
2081
01:32:52,234 --> 01:32:56,636
¶ I got the whole world in my hands ¶
2082
01:33:55,330 --> 01:33:58,231
[female vocalist scatting]
2083
01:34:24,192 --> 01:34:28,228
¶ I got the whole world in my hands ¶
2084
01:34:28,230 --> 01:34:32,065
¶ I got the whole wide world in my hands ¶
2085
01:34:32,067 --> 01:34:35,902
¶ I got the whole world in my hands ¶
2086
01:34:35,904 --> 01:34:39,773
¶ The whole world in my hands ¶
2087
01:34:39,775 --> 01:34:42,676
¶ The whole world in my hands ¶
2088
01:34:42,678 --> 01:34:47,147
¶ I got the whole world in my hands ¶
162701
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