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Poppy!

Come on, let's get going.

Where are you?

Oh, for heaven's sakes.

Poppy, get dressed.

Zeb will be here any minute.

Oh. What's all that for?

The picnic for Nono and Barry-- their engagement.

You have known about this for weeks.

Well, I can't remember every wingding you...

you got going around here.

It isn't a wingding.

It's for Nono.

You're going to have lots of fun today, Peter.

You know, my family throws parties for a living.

My stepmother-- your soon-to-be step-grandmother--

well, nobody throws a party like Beck.

(phone rings)

Open Arms-- for all of...

Oh, Zeb, where are you?

Sorry. I had an emergency.

I'm going to be a little late.

Want me to meet you at the park?

All right.

I'll wrangle up Poppy.

See you there.

Oh. Come on.

Help me get this stuff in the car.

Okay. Okay.

Oh, boy, this is heavy.

Oh, yeah?

Too heavy?

Well, uh, I can make it.

Oh, good.

I'll get the door.

Ah. You all right?

(glass clinking)

Oh, Poppy, careful.

There's crystal in there.

Crystal? At a picnic?

Well, what better occasion

than for my nearest and dearest?

Oh.

Well, how can you have a picnic without food?

Biddy's making the food.

As always.

Oh.

Mmm-- snails in phyllo dough.

Mom, can't we ever have hamburgers and hot dogs

like normal people?

Which?

Uh, sneakers.

Beck says she wants to organize a family baseball game.

Oh, there it is.

Ow! Oh!

(chuckling)

(horn honks)

Hey. Come on, I'm starving.

All right, all right.

(chuckling)

Is there any food in there?

No. It's for the champagne.

Oh. I hope Patch

remembered the bats and balls.

So, where is everybody?

Beck did say everybody was supposed to be here by 3:30.

Uh... Well, I guess we'll go for a jog then.

Oh, go ahead-- just run away.

Just like every other family gathering.

Poppy, those are for Min Foo.

Oh. Is she going to eat the whole jar?

(chuckling)

Well, when I was pregnant

with Min Foo,

I used to crave dills all the time.

Mmm.

(slurping)

Oh, Poppy!

Love it!

Oh, I want more.

(chuckling)

Hey, Min Foo, I came... So, where is my mother?

Oh, there she is.

Oh. Let me get your bag.

I'm fine. I'm fine.

Hi!

Hi. Hi.

Oh, see?

She doesn't want to be here either.

I don't know why we have to celebrate Nono's engagement

to that... that corporate lawyer.

Because she's your sister.

Oh, come on.

Help me set up before Nono and Barry get here.

And here they are.

Hi, Barry.

Oh. Hi, sweetheart.

Hi.

And you have got to be Peter.

I'm Rebecca.

Hey, you want to come with me

and meet your new cousins?

No.

Oh, come on.

Okay, a toast, everybody, a toast.

To all of us gathered together

in this glorious spring weather.

Here she goes.

To Zeb

for scoping out the site.

Cheers.

Thank you very much.

To Biddy,

for cooking

with all of her might,

and Troy for helping her get it right.

Um, to Patch

and Jeep for suggesting the bats and the balls,

even though we never use them at all.

To Hakim and Min Foo.

In August, they're due.

But most of all,

to Nono and Barry.

Oh.

We are so delighted

that they are going to marry.

(laughter)

Oh, and last but not least,

a toast to Peter.

Someone new in our family.

Oh, what could be sweeter?

ALL: To Peter.

I'm not in your family.

Oh. Better go get him

before he jumps in the river.

BARRY: Peter, get back here right now!

(people murmuring)

Peter, come on!

REBECCA: Did you ever have the feeling

you turned into the wrong person?

ZEB: Mmm... well, no.

I mean look at me--

after 20 years, still a widow

planning other people's parties.

Don't read no more, discuss important issues,

don't got no friends.

You've got friends.

You got the girls.

You've got me.

Yeah, relatives.

And everybody else I know is some kind of repairman.

Relatives can be friends.

Repairmen, I'm not so sure about.

Listen, I'm serious, Zeb.

What, what happened to the friends

I knew in college or in high school?

I mean, for instance, Amy Darrow,

the girl who had her engagement party

the day I met Joe right here.

Oh. I didn't even get to her wedding.

Of course, I was married myself by then,

and all three girls had chicken pox, but still.

Okay, okay, to be continued.

I'm gonna make rounds at the hospital tomorrow.

Okay. 'Night.

'Night.

(train whistle and wind chimes)

(bell clanging)

REBECCA: I had the oddest dream last night.

Were there any numbers in it?

What?

If you can recall any numbers,

my friend Al is always after me for numbers

to play the lottery with.

He wants the numbers from my dreams,

but I don't have any dreams anymore.

No, this was a, this was a dream about a boy.

And he seemed to be... my son.

I was on a train,

and I couldn't quite see his face, but...

it seems that he was very handsome... and confident.

Do you recall what number train it was?

No. And I don't know where we were going either.

(chuckling): Well, I'd call that a dream

that was lacking in plot.

In fact, it's sort of uninteresting.

So, I'd like to switch

the subject to my birthday.

Your birthday's not till December, Poppy.

December 11th.

I'm going to be100years old.

Well, I know that, Poppy.

I suppose you're planning

some big wingding for me.

I mean, I mean bigger than usual, huh?

Well, we'll see. Maybe.

(phone rings)

(chuckles): Yes.

But it's still pretty far away.

And when we get a little closer...

Open Arms-- for all of life's occasions.

Oh, yes, hi, Melinda.

Here's a list.

The guest list for my birthday party.

REBECCA: Oh, certainly.

Oh, he... yeah, he's a very good DJ.

Yup, he brings his own sound system.

Oh, I'm sure he can play whatever anyone would like.

Mom, it's me!

Not to worry.

Hi, Poppy!

Hi, Min Foo.

If you dreamed you had a son

and not daughters,

and the boy was blonde and not dark,

then you might have been dreaming

how your life could be

if you had chosen a different fork in the road--

if you'd decided on some different kind of life.

Or, it probably means my baby's going to be a boy.

No, Min Foo, this is not about you.

And besides, he didn't have your coloring.

He was blonde.

I could have a blonde baby.

Half my genes are yours, remember?

Well, yeah, maybe with Joey's father.

But I seriously doubt that you could hope

to have blonde genes with Hakim.

I know where this is going.

Before we start talking about my choices in husbands,

I have an obstetrician to see.

Oh, honey, come on.

I wasn't implying anything

about your various husbands.

Yeah, right.

I got to go.

Bye, guys.

Bye, Mom.

Let's use these.

Oh, honey.

This is a graduation party.

Those are wedding bells.

Aw.

Hey, why don't we pretend they're school bells?

Yay! Okay.

Let's just make sure they all work.

Ooh, pretty.

Nice.

Yeah.

You know that these were strung across the room

the first time I ever came here?

? Hey, little woman, please make up your mind ?

? You've got to come into my world ?

? And leave your world behind ?

? Come on, now ?

? Na-na-na-na-na-na... ?

(laughing)

MAN: I see you're having a wonderful time.

Hi.

I'm Joe Davich.

That guy you're laughing at, that's, uh,

my kid brother, Zeb.

I'm Rebecca Holmes.

I'm Amy's roommate.

Are you a friend of Artie's?

Oh, no, no, my family owns this place.

Oh.

Can I get you some champagne?

Oh. no, thank you, I don't drink.

Well, we'll have to find you

some ginger ale, then.

Oh! I am so sorry.

Come in the kitchen with me.

Joe, get the ham.

Wish I would have known

you were coming.

Joe so seldom brings his dates home.

I'm not his... Of course,

you know Joe's children.

Children?

This is Nono

and Patch and Biddy.

And you've probably heard the story.

Their mother Tina escapes to New York City

and dumps the whole crew on me.

Mommy's going to be a famous nightclub singer.

So some would have us believe.

Here, Mother.

A little soap and water,

and no one will ever know.

Right.

Let's clean off those shoes, huh?

Okay.

Mommy has

this beautiful dress

where the straps are made of diamonds.

Really?

There. Good as new.

Thanks. Come on.

MOTHER: Where are you taking her?

Don't worry, we'll see her again.

Okay, guys.

Oh, sweetie, that-that,

that's really a lot of raisins.

Uh...

we will be seeing you, won't we?

I'm gonna have love at first sight, too.

Oh, I hope you do, dear.

We finished just a few hours ago.

Well...

Isn't that lovely?

Oh, yeah.

Here's the problem.

Katie didn't graduate.

She didn't graduate?

No.

I was laying out her clothes this morning

and suddenly Katie turned to me

and she said, "Oh, did I mention

I flunked chemistry?"

At the time, I failed to understand

that flunking chemistry would keep her from graduating,

but it-it did and...

Well, listen.

Isn't it fortunate that you already planned this party?

It sends such a message.

A message?

Yeah, a message--

that you love and you support

your daughter in spite of her failure.

Oh.

But my friends.

How will I face them?

Oh, did-did you read that report a few years ago?

Oh, my, it was, um...

Scientists actually discovered that if you fake a smile

that your, uh, smile muscles,

they just somehow trigger a signal to your brain,

and you start to feel the way you pretended to feel.

Yeah, really. Happy.

(chuckles)

Well, I suppose it is kind of difficult

to cancel at this late date.

But I-I-I thought maybe...

You know, Katie's such a lucky girl.

ZEB: Nice save, Beck.

How do you manage to pull these things off?

Well, it's not like I ever had a choice.

What is that supposed to mean?

Oh, never mind.

You know, maybe I should get myself a dog.

I mean, if I had a dog to walk,

it would be easier to meet people, right?

Maybe you should just get away

from the Open Arms for a while.

Go somewhere,

visit someone.

Yeah, well that's my point.

Who would I visit?

Surely you can think of someone.

REBECCA: Mother, I have to leave

first thing in the morning.

But you just got here.

Yeah, but I have a big

anniversary party at the Open Arms.

Oh, that place.

Oh, darling, no.

That place is how I make my money.

What little there is of it.

That's the Daviches' business.

No, actually it's mine.

And there's Poppy to think about.

Oh, that old man.

Is he still alive?

Yes, he's still alive.

Exactly how are you related?

He's Joe's father's twin brother.

You know that, Mother.

Darling.

You could have done so much better.

Like how?

Oh, you were such

a brilliant student, Rebecca.

Do you remember that paper on Robert E. Lee?

Didn't the professor say

that you could expand it into an honors project?

Well, he suggested that I...

And before you got started,

bang, here comes Joe Davich and puts you to work.

Mother...

And poor Will Allenby.

He didn't know

what hit him.

One day you were as good as engaged,

and the next you up and married a man

that nobody knew from Adam.

I made a choice.

Well, it was the wrong choice.

You and Will Allenby were soul mates.

You've been a different woman ever since you jilted Will.

(bell tolling)

POPPY: Rebecca!

Where were you?

(phone ringing) You knew where I was, Poppy.

I was at my mother's.

Oh, is she still alive?

Is that Biddy?

It's not like I wasn't gonna tell you.

Why doesn't anybody answer this? Hello?

Uh, uh, Open Arms, for all of life's occasions.

You've always hated my cooking.

Yeah? That's not true.

Tomorrow night at 8:00. Besides, we just want you

That's right to be able to enjoy the wedding.

All right, well, we'll be very happy to see you then. Oh, please.

Yes. Bye-bye.

What was that all about?

Oh, she's mad because

I don't want her to do the food.

Barry and I just want

a more straightforward menu.

And besides, Biddy's never done a garden wedding before.

Who's having a garden wedding?

We are. Here.

Mother suggested it.

I think it's a great idea.

Oh, Tina suggested it.

Oh, is Tina doing the landscaping?

Of course not-- Mother doesn't arrive

until two days before the wedding.

Aha. I see.

We can do it, Beck.

I am a florist, after all.

(horn honks)

(car doors slam)

(several people talking at once)

Mother's here!

(all talking at once)

Oh, Rachel. Dear!

Rebecca.

Mother brought us gifts from London.

Oh. Nice.

Oh, Mother, please.

Oh, Mother, I love them.

For your chignon.

Oh.

Oh, thank you so much.

It's about 1812.

All that tea with this instant family.

Mother, this is perfect.

Oh, do you like it? I found it in Capri.

Mother, I love it.

Min Foo, she's not your mother.

Oh, I-I just...

Oh, Minerva, I've always thought of you

as my fourth daughter, haven't I?

Rebecca, come, come, come.

You haven't opened your present yet.

Oh. Okay.

Oh. An apron.

I thought something useful.

Thank you.

Now, Barry, tell me all about the wedding plans.

Well, we finally found a minister.

Nono and I were at a restaurant the other night

Mm-hmm. wondering who we could get to marry us,

and our waitress said, "Well, I can do that."

So, what'll it be?

Do you, like, take this woman here

to be your lawfully wedded wife?

Oh, you're joking.

Turns out she has some kind

of certificate she sent away for

through the mail.

You didn't tell me this.

It's...

Perfectly legal, and she said

she'd do it for free.

Oh, well. Why not?

It's all a big charade,

anyhow, I mean, my singing teacher was devastated

when I married Joe, I mean,

"My dear, you are throwing away

a God-given talent."

I mean, marriage may be useful

during those little child-bearing years,

but, all that, "My darling, aren't you amazing?"

gives away to blood pressure monitoring

and hand holding when the man retires

and he can't think what to do with themselves.

And the wives, meanwhile, start longing to get free

from this institution invented by males

for their own benefit.

It's all a primitive tribal ritual,

meant to make us forget

we're merely propagating the species.

(man clearing throat)

She certainly knows

the right thing to say to a bride and groom.

(phone dialing)

Oh, hello.

Is this Alumni Records?

This is Rebecca Holmes Davich.

I'm looking for

a, um, an address of a classmate, Allenby.

Will Allenby. Yeah.

Oh, Dr.Allenby.

He teaches there?

Ah. Okay.

Oh, good.

All right. Thanks very much.

Okay, bye-bye.

(sighs)

I can't believe Uncle Poppy's

still here.

He was always such a bore.

I mean, all the Daviches, a bunch of mopers.

How ironic their profession

was throwing parties.

I mean, just because your house

has 14 foot ceilings doesn't automatically

turn you into a social butterfly.

I don't know how you've managed all these years.

I just put one foot in front of the other.

You don't have any, shall we say,

man friends, I suppose.

No.

Well, of course not.

After baby-sitting Joe Davich,

why would you want one?

Yes, why would I?

Oh. Ah.

This place is like a time machine.

Same old sink.

Same sticky wooden cabinets.

Same scummy little drinking glasses.

Same rusty screen door.

Why, how American.

Instant lawn!

I knew we could create a garden here.

Very impressive.

Thanks a lot.

Been working out every day.

Oh.

(playing traditional introduction)

(piano continues over monitor)

She's so cute.

("Wedding March" plays on piano)

Oh...

Oh...

Today we are gathered here

to witness a celebration

of the human family.

The uniting

of two people in marriage.

Nono and Barry come before us here today

to... be united in marriage.

Theirs is a love

that springs from the affection

of those who loved them into being.

And to that source, let us all turn and ask,

who gives this woman?

Oh.

Me.

(chuckles)

London, well...

Our mother's actually flirting

with her new son-in-law.

Nono's about to kill her.

She was telling Barry

they ought to take Peter on their honeymoon.

Every time, you girls can't wait

for your mother to get here.

Now you can't wait for her to leave.

Oh, I told Nono that Peter could stay here.

Is that cake a little slanted?

What do you mean? Well, look.

Hmm.

Well, what do you expect?

First Nono doesn't even want me

to cater the wedding, then she does.

I mean, she's lucky there's a cake at all.

Oh, honey, it's a lovely cake.

It just needs a little...

Peter, I have a job for you.

No. I can't.

Oh, yes, of course you can.

You just-just be creative.

And we're smiling, and we're smiling.

Yes, and we're smiling.

Um...

Sir, um, you're-you're in the shot.

Can you...? Yeah, okay.

Oh. Thank you.

You did a great job with those strawberries.

PHOTOGRAPHER: We're smiling and we're smiling.

Nice.

(whistling)

Okay, everyone.

Everyone, group photo, group photo.

Yes, group photo. Okay.

That's right.

Okay, um, will the people who are not related

by blood-- can you move to the sides, please?

I can't get you all into the picture.

That'd be us. We'll just...

Oh, Beck, Peter, come on.

Come on, Beck.

Oh, all right. PHOTOGRAPHER: We're smiling, and...

Quickly.

PHOTOGRAPHER: Okay.

Smiles, and we're smiling, and we're smiling.

(crickets chirping)

(phone rings)

Dr. Allenby.

Will.

Laura?

Who?

Will, this is, uh, Rebecca Holmes Davich.

Rebecca?

Oh, gosh, I... I hope you weren't asleep.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

I know it's... I know it's late, uh...

Oh, my, I didn't realize how late.

You know, um, in fact,

I think that I'll just call back another time.

B-B-Bye-bye.

Ay-yi-yi. Oh, no.

(phone rings)

Open Arms, for all of life's occasions.

Yes, yes, that's right.

The Tea Dance starts

at 4:30 tomorrow.

You're welcome. Who's he?

It's Peter Sanborn, Poppy.

He's staying here with us

while Nono and Barry are on their honeymoon.

Oh... Remember?

Mm. Do you remember Nono's wedding cake?

Yeah, I remember.

You know how it kind of... it kind of...

it-it kind of tilted?

Mm, yeah.

Well, I don't feel that cakes are Biddy's strong point,

so I'd like you to find somebody else

to make my birthday cake.

I'll be 100 years old.

(chuckling): December 11.

Mm...

Taking that to your room, huh?

Yeah, I think I will.

Hey, how about you and I go out for some ice cream, huh?

Get some fresh air?

No thanks.

How 'bout a game?

Uh, Clue, Checkers, Monopoly, Scrabble, huh?

We can't tell your dad you didn't do one thing

the whole time you were here. I don't care.

Well, I do. Come on.

I wish I hadn't promised Poppy this party.

He'll forget it before the balloons have shriveled...

...maybe the instant it's over.

He could enjoy the party

while it's happening, though,

even if he did forget it later.

Yeah.

Well, you're right about that.

Hmm.

Guess this

is about all I can do.

Whoa. Ho, ho, ho.

60 points.

Hey, I suspect you might be a hustler.

(phone ringing)

Open Arms, for all of life's occasions.

Rebecca speaking.

This is Will Allenby.

Will.

H-How'd you get my number?

I looked at my caller ID.

Anyway, Rebecca...

...what did you call me for?

Oh, gosh, I, you know, I just h-happened to be home--

I mean, at... at Mom's, and-and she and I

just got talking about old times,

and I thought to myself,

"Gee, wonder whatever happened to... Will Allenby?

Wonder where he got to."

Oh. Well, I'm...

right here, where you left me...

at MacAdam, that is.

Well, no, I haven't been here the whole time.

I... I did go away for my doctorate.

Um, I teach here now.

Oh, that's wonderful, Will.

I'm the head of the Physics Department.

Well, that's really wonderful.

Well, you know, it's been such a long time.

Maybe-maybe you and I should just get together,

you know, catch up, or...

I... I happen to be free this evening.

Oh, this evening?

Oh, no, I-I couldn't do that,

'cause I've got a tea dance, and then...

Oh, boy. This weekend, I got a funeral,

and I got, uh, an engagement party, but, um...

Well, what about Monday, uh, um, at that place?

Is it still there? The, um...

What is it, the Maple Tree?

It's here. I-I don't know if it's still good, uh...

Well, why don't we just say 7:00, the Maple Tree?

All right.

Okay, good. See you then.

That was my very first boyfriend.

Well, my only boyfriend,

besides Joe Davich.

(bell tolls)

(birds chirping)

Oh, good. That's right.

Well, thanks for watching him, honey.

That's okay.

He didn't play with the kids at all.

He just sat reading a book

the whole time.

There's nothing wrong with that.

Why the sudden urge to go shopping?

Oh, nothing, I'm just sick of the same old clothes.

Time for some new ones.

Well, I'd better get back.

(engine starts)

Bye, Peter.

Bye.

I decided not to tell Min Foo about my date.

It's none of her business.

Besides, it's not really a date.

I used to love to read when I was young.

I was quite an intellectual,

like you.

If you were offered a trip on a time machine,

would you take it?

Oh, I sure would.

I'd be crazy not to.

Would you go into the past or the future?

The future.

Absolutely the future,

'cause I want to know what's going to happen.

Yeah, me too.

(doorbell rings)

MAN: Hello? Rebecca!

Oh, J.J.

Rebecca!

Oh, J.J., I'm so happy you're here.

Boy, that ceiling really needs to be patched.

Well, we'll do that.

REBECCA: Yeah.

Mm. Oh.

Yeah, well, I-I'm having dinner

with my old high school sweetheart on Monday,

and I'm-I'm just as nervous as a cat on a...

(chuckles): You know, Tanya was my, uh, high school sweetheart.

Really? My gosh.

You two really made a go of it, huh?

Yeah. Well, not that you haven't had to... work at it.

Ain't that the truth?

Will you just give it a little...?

Sure.

Yeah. No good, huh?

Well... the color's nice. Mm.

W-w-w-what about those, uh, harem pants you had on

the-the time I was patching the bathroom? Oh, no, no, no.

I-I don't want to wear pants to a restaurant,

and, besides, they didn't make...

(whispering): Weren't good for my derriere.

(laughing)

But... the color's nice.

Oh, Poppy, your tapioca's in the fridge.

Uh-huh. And don't forget

your penguin program's on at 9:00.

Okay. I won't forget.

Night-night. Yeah.

Have fun.

Okay.

Uh-huh. Mm. Yum.

Good evening.

Oh. Hi.

I'm meeting someone here. I don't suppose...

Would that be him?

Uh, no.

Oh... I... William.

Hello, Will.

Hi.

Oh.

What happened to your long golden braid?

My what? Oh, my gosh.

I got... I cut that off long ago.

It was too much trouble.

May I tell Marvin

what you're having to drink?

Who's Marvin?

Iced tea, please.

Oh. I'll just have, um...

w-water, thank you.

Sparkling or still?

Pardon?

Tap, I think. Right?

Yes, tap.

It is so good to see you, Will.

Me too.

I mean, it's good for me to see you, too.

Except for the braid,

you... you look just the same.

Oh, no, no, I haven't changed a bit. Ha, ha.

So, decided what you're having?

Well, not quite.

Oh, I-I-I'm sorry.

I'll see what I should be having here.

Oh, you should go first, Rebecca.

Oh. All right. Yes. Oops.

Oh, dear. Well, salmon's...

Uh, you have salmon, I'm sure, don't you?

I always liked that.

That's it. Thank you very much.

Okay, uh, salmon, veal, rib roast...

Uh, maybe the rib roast?

And how would you like that cooked?

Well done. Thank you very much. Yeah.

Well done it is.

Or, uh, you know...

how 'bout the award, uh, winning, uh, swordfish?

Swordfish.

U-unless...

would it actually be the award-winning swordfish

if it didn't have

the sauce?

(laughs)

So, the swordfish, no sauce,

and salad, no dressing, thank you.

(clears throat)

Sorry, uh, I don't eat out often.

I-I cook for myself.

Oh.

I make my famous chili.

You remember my chili.

Oh, your chili.

Yes, right, of course.

The way I prepare it

is, every Sunday, I mix up two batches and then

divide them up into seven containers.

And that's what

I'd eat each night for the week.

For the whole week?

Mm-hmm.

All week?

Yeah.

Of course, now I have an extra container,

because of tonight.

I don't know how I'll deal with that yet.

My, my.

Well, it sure sounds like you've adjusted

to-to living by yourself.

I mean... since your divorce.

I can't complain.

I mean, I-I rent a very nice apartment.

Mm-hmm.

It's even got a little s-study

that could be made into a guest room,

and if my...

if my daughter ever wanted to spend the night over.

Oh, well, you have a daughter?

Yes, a 17-year-old

high school senior.

Oh.

Beatrice.

Of course that...

That's nothing compared to you.

Uh-uh.

No, that's right.

(laughing): I... I'm way ahead of you.

I've got five grandchildren.

Hmm. But that's because my husband's

three girls are older, from a previous marriage.

H-How did he pass away, if-if you don't mind my asking?

No.

In a car wreck.

Ha. Oh, boy. It was really sudden.

Well, of course, a car wreck is a-always sudden.

It was just...

I was just so unprepared, you know.

Mm. 26 years old.

And his girls had just adjusted

to the fact that I even existed.

(laughs)

Oh. Well, I'm not sure I'd know how to deal with that.

I managed all right.

We... We were fine.

Thank you.

It seems so long ago, doesn't it?

You broke my heart, Rebecca.

I mean, no warning.

I mean, I thought everything was fine,

and then, you just said good-bye

without a reason why.

I had to hear that you got married

two weeks later, from my mother.

Yeah. I'm... I'm...

I'm sorry.

You know, I-I...

I know I didn't handle that very well, but, uh...

Everything to your liking, folks? Yes, uh,

everything's fine, thank you.

Yeah.

I-I know that I should have written,

but, uh, everything was just moving so fast, you know.

And I just seemed

to be getting farther and farther away

from my original self.

And then, this summer, I just sort of...

I don't know.

I just sort of woke up, and I thought,

"Who have you turned into?"

(sighs)

And that's why I called you. I...

Oh, yeah.

Figured you could just waltz right on back as if

you'd never even left?

No, I never thought that. Thought I'd say, "Oh,

"sure, Rebecca.

"I forgive you for everything.

"Let's go back

to, uh, the good old days."

No, no, no. I never thought that at all.

I trusted you.

I'm really sorry...

I can see this has been a mistake.

MAN (on television): Preening can be a part of the breeding behavior.

Among couples, it is sign of love

when they clean each other's feathers.

(sighs)

(snoring)

As soon as penguins are out of the water,

they start cleaning and combing their feathers.

Unlike his Antarctic neighbors, the penguin mates for life.

The pains are five minutes apart.

Oh.

Oh, honey.

Just remind yourself that you're gonna get

a baby out of this.

Bye, Mommy.

I bet that you are gonna have a brand new brother

or sister before lunchtime.

Min Foo is having a baby?

I thought she was divorced.

Poppy, she divorced Professor Drake.

And then she divorced LaVon.

And then she married Hakim.

Hakim?

(laughing): Oh, good God.

An-An Arab?

(phone ringing)

Poppy.

Open Arms. F-for...

O-Oh. Hi. Yes, yes, J.J.

Yeah, well, I'm afraid

that faucet still is leaky, but listen, J.J.,

Min Foo's having her baby today.

Yeah. So, I got to...

Oh, oh, your-your daughter-in-law, too.

Oh, that's great.

Well, then you can understand

why I got to keep the line free.

All right. Bye, bye, thanks.

Ooh.

You said

we'd have a new brother

or sister before lunchtime.

Is Mommy okay?

Oh, yes. Of course she is.

And, you know, sometimes...

Just move your little drawings, kids, for me.

Sometimes it just takes a little bit longer.

Oh, you did a lovely job on those candles.

Let's light 'em up.

Razzle dazzle time. Whoo!

(phone ringing)

If I could undo one modern invention,

it would be the telephone.

I would choose the zipper.

(laughs)

(laughter)

Open...

WILL: Rebecca? It's Will.

Oh, Will.

Uh, I really... I... I'm...

I don't know why you rushed off like that.

The-The waiter was wondering if anything was wrong.

And I... I'm worried

that you might have misunderstood me.

Oh, Will, listen, thank you so much for calling me.

Listen, my daughter's about to have a baby,

and I really can't talk.

Uh, thanks.

Okay. I...

(dial tone)

Oh, boy.

(phone rings)

(groans)

Open Ar... Hakim?

Yes?Whoo!

Yes, I think Abdul's a wonderful name for a boy.

Yay! Yay!

Oh.

Come over here.

(baby coos)

Oh, handsome boy.

Look at you.

Look at you.

You're so beautiful.

Welcome to the world, Abdul.

Say hi to Grandma.

(laughter)

(keys jangling)

(door creaking)

(beep)

Rebecca, it's Will Allenby again.

I trust everything's fine with your daughter's baby.

I, uh... I just wanted to apologize

for the other evening.

Lately, it's been all I can do to just get up in the morning.

I look in the mirror and think,

"Gosh, same old me."

(beep)

Lord in heaven, tell me everything.

Well, Will has been divorced about two years now.

Perfect.

If a man is divorced,

he's always angry at his ex-wife.

But if he's widowed,

he always feels guilty about remarrying.

Mother, who said anything about remarrying?

We're just having a meal together.

That should put us back here about 9:30 or 10:00.

Is that enough time?

Oh, yeah, that's-that's plenty of time.

Thanks, Zeb.

Oh, Beck, so, is this a...

Is this an actual date you're having?

No. I'm much too old to be dating.

(laughter)

Okay, Poppy.

Oh.

Mm. Don't you two get into any trouble.

Okay. Too old to be dating...

(laughter)

(doorbell rings)

Oh.

Whoa.

Oh, you shouldn't have.

I know I'm early.

I allowed a little extra time, in case I got lost.

Come on in.

Oh. My goodness.

Let's see.

Um, why don't we set it down

right over here.

Whoo. Here you go.

Ah.

(laughs)

My, isn't that...

Isn't that unusual.

Yeah.

And what's it called?

I don't know.

They said it was impossible to kill, is all.

(laughs): Oh, good.

Well, I guess

I should have dressed up a little more, huh?

Oh, no. I'm not so dressed up.

Oh, this is, uh, very...

Well, this is quite a place you have.

Well, don't let it fool ya.

I expect the ceiling to fall down any...

any minute now.

Well, I mean, it's... it's really impressive.

It must have quite a...

(doorbell rings)

Yeah?

Uh, quite a history to it.

Mm-hmm.

Um, I...

I believe your doorbell rang.

Oh, yes, right.

Well, just make yourself at home.

Hi, J.J. Hi.

I just wanted to let you know

that we're gonna be out in the back,

uh, planting those a... azal...

Okay. Fine.

Wha-What is that?

(whispering): You know, I'm not sure exactly.

I-I-I've never seen anything like it.

Thanks, J.J.

Hey, you-you want to take a peek at them

before we start planting?

No, it's fine, it's fine.

How about I fetch you one of those,

uh, hang tags with a color photo?

You know, I really don't care, J.J.

I've got company.

Oh.

High school sweetheart.

(chuckles)

Was this your husband?

(laughs)

N-No, no.

We got that at a garage sale.

Oh.

Come on, I'll show you what my husband looked like.

Oh, uh... Oh, here.

(phone rings)

I'll-I'll just let the...

the machine get that.

Now, he's here somewhere, but...

Oh, well here's my newest grandson, Abdul.

And here he is with his mother, Min Foo, my daughter.

(phone continues ringing)

And this is my eldest stepdaughter, Biddy,

standing next to Min Foo's ex, LaVon.

And that's Nono.

Oh, doesn't she make a beautiful bride?

And let's see.

This is Patch.

She's celebrating

the girls lacrosse team winning State.

And, uh...

Oh. There's Joe.

Yes. Well, you

always did want to have a lot of children.

I did?

Mm-hmm.

Gosh, I don't remember that.

Would you bring the biscuits in, please?

Sure.

(men talking outside)

What's going on in your backyard?

Oh, they're putting in some azaleas.

Oh.

(phone rings)

This is like running a plantation.

The, uh, divorce was Laura's idea.

One day, she just announced

that she wanted me to move out.

Of course,

she kept our daughter.

Laura's always had a better understanding of Beatrice.

It's only natural, I guess.

She's... so much younger than I.

Not like you.

Excuse me?

I, I mean you were always

so mature for your age,

so involved with your studies, so... serious.

I always regret

that I didn't finish my education.

Mmm. Do you remember this new theory

that I had of, of why Robert E. Lee

decided to cast his lot with the South?

Lee?

Mmm.

Maybe I should finish that research.

Th-there are other things you can do, too, uh...

Museums could be particularly edifying.

Gosh, I can't remember the last time I was in a museum.

Perhaps we could go together.

I'm going down to Washington on Friday.

Maybe you could join me.

Wonderful museums there.

Oh, I'd love to do that, Will.

(phone rings)

Friday, then.

Good.

Your phone sure does ring a lot.

Can we go in the other room?

Rebecca...

It's occurred to me

that this was very providential.

What?

When you telephoned me the first time,

I had just hit rock bottom.

I mean, it's so incredibly providential

that you called me when you did, Rebecca.

In the old days,

ice cream places offered unlimited samples.

Egg nog, pistachio, rum raisin--

any flavor.

Well, hi.

What are you doing here?

We stopped for ice cream,

but Poppy was so displeased

with the service,

he said he'd just as soon have his dessert at home.

Hi, I'm, I'm Will Allenby.

Hi, I'm Zeb, Rebecca's brother-in-law.

This is my uncle, Paul Davich.

Sorry to barge in like this.

I thought you were going to the movies.

After that smart aleck

in the, in the ice cream parlor,

I, I didn't have the heart for it.

Wh-What's for dessert?

Well, I remembered

that Will didn't care for sweets,

so I didn't make a dessert.

POPPY: Oh.

Well, I'm going to take

a look.

So...

you knew our Rebecca in high school.

"Our Rebecca"?

Well, actually, um... kindergarten.

Beck! Are you home?

(sighing)

He-here.

Where have you been?

I've been phoning and phoning you

all evening.

Uh, Will, this is my stepdaughter, Nono,

and this is her stepson, Peter.

This is Will Allenby,

my old high school sweetheart.

Really? Nice to meet you.

Go ahead, Peter, tell Rebecca

what you wanted to ask her.

What, honey?

Um... at my school,

they have this exhibit of these projects.

And they have us invite our grandparents.

It's on Friday.

Is it this Friday?

Uh-huh.

And, I know you're not really my grandma,

but since my dad's parents are dead,

I was wondering if...

I'd be honored to.

Ice cream--

who wants ice cream?

Super Chunky Chango ice cream.

(laughter)

I'm so sorry about Friday, but, you know, I just,

I just couldn't disappoint him.

No, of course not.

The museums will always be there.

Yeah.

Well, you still have quite a drive, right?

Yes.

I'll call you.

I'll call you tomorrow. (clanging)

(chuckling) Yikes.

Thanks for supper.

REBECCA: Toast! To Abdul Abdulazim.

His arrival makes us beam.

It's such a pleasure to have a new boy.

Let's hope he's as nice as Lateesha and Joey.

(screaming)

Joey got stung by a bee!

Oh, my Lord.

He's allergic!

Well, how did a bee get in here?

It'll be okay.

Let's just go to the hospital.

I'll get some ice.

I've got Abdul.

Dixon, you and Emmy take Lateesha to the backyard.

Wait, I'm coming. I've got the ice.

Beck?

Oh, Poppy, please, not now.

Beck, I... I don't feel so good.

Here's a list of all of his medicines.

He's allergic to, uh,

to penicillin and tomatoes.

Is this a heart attack?

I didn't have my, my 100th birthday party yet.

You'll have your party, Poppy, I promise you.

I'll call you.

PARAMEDIC: Watch your step.

(monitor beeping)

It's okay.

It's going to be okay. How are we doing?

Well, he's not feeling so...

Zeb... they're trying to finish me off.

Nope, they're letting you go.

Turns out it was indigestion.

(chuckling): Oh.

Indigestion?

I spoke with the resident.

He said you had three cupcakes at the baby welcoming.

Well, what if I did?

I've eaten far more many a time.

We should let them know at home.

Poppy...

They must be pretty worried.

Yeah. Did Joey get his shot?

He's already back at the party,

making up for lost time.

I'll go call.

Oh, God, I am so relieved that it was only indigestion.

Yeah, well, I don't know

what the world is coming to

if a man can't eat three measly cupcakes

without folks calling an ambulance.

(laughter)

REBECCA: Oh, I forgot the dessert.

You do like dessert, now, don't you, monsieur?

Whoa.

(laughing)

Thank you.

How's your father-in-law?

My father-in-law? Mm-hmm.

Oh, you mean Poppy.

Uh, he's not my father-in-law.

He's Joe's uncle.

Want this one?

And you still live with him,

even though you're barely related.

Well, I sort of inherited him.

He came with the house.

(chuckles)

For a while I resented

having to take care of him,

but when I thought he might die, I...

I realized how much he means to me.

Don't mind my asking, but...

how come after your husband died

you never remarried?

I don't know.

I, I think what you look for in a person changes.

You know, when I was young, I wanted somebody "other."

The most wildly other person.

Not... well, that's why I was drawn to Joe, I guess.

But now I just, uh, think the idea

of being with somebody different

would just... be exhausting.

Well, look at you and me.

We're totally different, Rebecca.

We are?

Oh, well it might seem so now, but...

well, I think of the old days, the things that interested us...

well, I think, yeah, that was back...

that was back when we were grownups.

'Course, you still are a grownup, but me, I...

I feel like I've been

traveling in reverse.

(chuckling)

WILL: Robert E. Lee.

Boy, things sure have changed

since we were at MacAdam, huh?

WILL: Go.

REBECCA: Oh, wow!

This was such a good idea, Will.

Well, you said you wanted to continue on with your research.

This might be interesting.

Uh-huh.

This one might be good.

On special order.

Oh, dear.

No, no, it's all right.

Hmm? Won't take long?

Uh-uh.

No problem.

Okay. Come on.

(beeping)

We'll call you when it comes in.

Great, thanks; you're done.

Let me grab these. I'll take some of those.

No, no, no; here we go.

Oh, well.

Chivalry is not dead.

(chuckling) Thank you.

(phone rings)

Hello.

ZEB: Hey, Beck.

Oh, hi, Zeb.

What you doing?

Ooh, I'm reading a fascinating book.

Me, too.

The Harmful Effects of Nightlights on Children.

Nightlights?

Children who've been raised with nightlights

end up with vision problems.

Their eyes don't get enough rest.

They should read this book-- that'd put them to sleep.

Well, from now on,

I am going to read two books a week-- serious ones.

And I am going to join a gym,

'cause I'm going to get into shape.

You're fine the way you are.

I am not.

I'm a slug.

You of all people-- a doctor.

No, from now on, I am concentrating on me.

You're right.

Good night.

Good night.

(sighs)

Hi, nice to meet you.

How's that?

Good. Oh, that's great.

(devices buzzing and clicking)

Oh, where's your project?

It's over here.

REBECCA: This is yours?

PETER: Uh-huh.

Oh, my gosh.

(laughing)

(gasping and chuckling)

This is wonderful!

I don't know how you did this.

What do...

what do your teachers say?

I think they kind of liked it.

Oh, I bet they do.

Is there a motor?

(chuckling): That's a secret.

Oh.

Oh, then don't tell me.

Don't tell me.

I will just view this as a miracle.

You want to see the other projects?

No. No, I...

I just want to stay here and admire this one.

Oh, no, no.

That boy is brilliant.

Yes. Everybody keeps telling me how bright he is.

I just... I wish he could drive.

Honey, did you see his project?

I don't know if it was music or art or science,

but it is astounding.

I was the one who had to ferry him

to the back of beyond for supplies.

Barry was away attending a conference,

wouldn't you know?

I know it's hard.

But I so wish that you could enjoy this boy,

because he is going to be grown and gone in a flash.

Easy for you to say.

You don't have the slightest idea

what it's like being saddled with somebody else's kid

when you're still practically on your honeymoon.

GIRL: No, no, no, no!

No, no, no, no! No, no, no, no!

I thought maybe you'd like

to meet my daughter.

Oh, Will, I would love

to meet your daughter.

Oh, mm. Something I can bring?

No, just yourself.

What shall I wear?

Anything...

or-or maybe... no... just anything.

No, Will, you can tell me.

I mean, is there something special

you want me to wear or not wear?

Well, I... I-I-I don't know, um...

(clears throat)

Maybe... something not too... hippie.

Hippie?

Well, it's-it's just that some of your clothes

tend to be a bit... exotic.

Oh.

And-and I want Beatrice to focus on you more as a person.

Oh, oh, oh, I see. Okay.

(doorbell rings)

Ta-da.

Oh. Well, you look great.

Thank you.

Hi. Come on in, come in.

My, this is wonderful. Come in here.

Here, ha-have a seat.

All right. Thank you.

I keep feeling I should get a cleaning service in.

Oh. Uh, Beatrice isn't here yet, huh?

No, but I expect her.

Aw...

What?

Everything's going to be just fine.

You don't know Beatrice.

We are going to have such fun.

I'm serving this nutritious, all-grain dish.

She's a vegetarian.

(doorbell rings) Oh, boy.

Excuse me.

I used chicken stock, but don't say a word.

Oh. My lips are sealed.

Hi, Beatrice.

Hello, Beatrice.

So, you told me to come here at 6:00.

Here I am.

Well, thank you, Bea.

I'm very glad you came.

Are we eating supper or not?

Oh, oh, don't you want to sit around a while

and talk? I... Talk? About what?

And who is this lady, anyhow?

Oh. I'm, um... I'm, um, a very old, old friend

of your father's.

We grew up together.

Oh, so I guess next, you're going to tell me

that you guys have fallen madly in love or something.

Beatrice... Oh! Oh, my goodness.

Well, I guess we've fallen in fond,

but really, I came here to meet you tonight.

Your father's told me so much about you.

Yeah? Well, I'm not here 'cause I want to be.

I'm here because he promised me

my own cell phone if I came.

Oh.

Okay, we've met. Can I go now?

You-you-you haven't eaten.

All right, if you insist, let's eat.

Oh.

(clears throat)

This is a complete, in one dish, whole grain meal.

Oh. Entirely vegetarian.

Actually, I eat meat now.

You do? Well, we can all stand

to eat some grain from time to time.

Beatrice, pass me your plate.

I'm afraid I'm not much of a chef.

Oh, I think you were wonderful to make the effort.

Thanks.

(groans)

(scoffs)

So... do many men have you to supper, Rebecca?

Oh. Well, I don't... No.

'Cause, actually, you seem pretty normal on the surface.

I'm just wondering if you realize

what kind of guy you're eating with, here.

Uh, he's a pretty nice guy.

The guy who kidnapped our dog

when Mom asked him for a divorce.

Your dog?

Our little dog, Flopsie.

I did not kidnap Flopsie Doodle.

I borrowed her.

He stole her

while we were out, and we came home,

and we called, "Flopsie."

No Flopsie.

So my mom phoned my dad.

We knew it was him.

And she said that she was calling the police.

Do you know what he did?

He lied, and he said,

oh, he had no idea what she was talking about.

Then he opened up his door and let Flopsie run out

all by herself, when everybody knows

what a terrible sense of direction she has.

It's lucky she wasn't killed.

I was feeling sad, okay?

I was having a difficult time.

Like it wasn't difficult for Mom and me?

I went looking for her in the rainstorm.

I was out half the night,

and when I found her, all covered with mud,

I-I put her in my brand-new car,

and I brought her home.

How many times can I apologize?

Well, just so you know, you're boyfriend's a total perv.

You're getting me

a cell phone tomorrow.

(door opens)

(door slams)

Well, I guess this wasn't very successful.

Oh, well, it's... You know what?

Now that I've met your family, I want you to meet mine.

I mean, I already...

Well, three or four you bumped into,

but I... but I mean a proper dinner party

with everybody there. Okay?

That'd be great. Good.

Oh...

Gracious.

(chuckles)

Well, hey, thank you.

Thanks for dinner. Thanks very much.

If I'd known that Beatrice was back eating meat,

I would have served my chili.

Hmm. Mm-hmm. All right. Bye-bye.

Bye.

Hmm.

(crickets chirping)

ZEB: He kidnapped their dog?

REBECCA: Oh, yeah.

Oh, boy. Well, in a way,

I think he's still, um, in mourning for his marriage.

You know, he's been going through a really difficult time.

He's kind of an odd guy, and I just thought a party

where he could meet all of you would...

Rebecca, I've met Will on a couple of occasions.

Yeah, I know, but I-I'd like him to meet everybody,

all together, you know-- a more formal atmosphere.

Formal?

Yeah, just not some typical

Davich free-for-all potluck

where Will could be overwhelmed,

but something... sedate and organized.

You know, everybody arriving at a pre-arranged time,

talking about civilized topics, you know?

Why can't we bring children?

It's a grown-up affair.

I want you to meet the man in my life.

You have a man in your life?

You never told me that.

Oh, you know Will has been coming around now and then.

I thought he was just a friend.

(baby cooing)

Why are you springing this on me now?

I am not springing anything on you.

This is not about you.

Saturday night? You're never free on Saturdays.

Is the Open Arms going under?

No more than usual.

Well, haven't I already met this person?

Yes, but-but I want this to be

a more official introduction

to the family as a whole.

Okay, look, whatever. I'm running late, okay?

Okay. Bye.

(phone rings)

(sighs)

Open Arms.

How come you invited Min Foo to dinner and not me?

Patch, I was just going to...

Is this because she's your real daughter?

I hate you.

You're not my mother.

(gasps)

Patch, for heaven's sakes,

I'm inviting all of you.

Oh, Beck, this is so exciting.

A man in your life.

I am making something fabulous.

What is that you're wearing?

Oh, just something different

than my usual hippie dippie

color crazy thing, you know?

Call it flight attendant casual.

(laughs) (doorbell rings)

Well, fasten your seat belts, me merry crew.

Hi, Will.

Am I late or early or... okay?

Oh, you're... you're right on time. Come on.

Okay. Yeah.

WILL: Thanks.

I trust you have nothing against hearts of palm.

That what that is?

I thought it'd be a nice...

symbolic touch.

Hearts, romance, you know?

Hmm. Palm trees

are cut up for that?

(grunts)

Broccoli plants are cut up.

Asparagus shoots are cut up.

Don't tell me you're one of those food avoiders.

No, no, no, I'm... not that much into experiment.

Sea urchins are an experiment.

Hearts of palm is just a salad.

So, you and Rebecca have-have known each other

since you were kids?

50 years.

Oh! Can I really have been alive that long?

And now you're reunited. That's, uh...

Must be complicated, though, living in separate towns.

WILL: Oh, that's exactly it.

My odometer's taken a huge leap,

and my engine's developed a cough, uh...

Oh, well, you-you should give J.J. a call.

WILL: J.J.?

Yeah, J.J. does a lot of, uh, odd jobs around here,

but, oh, he is a gifted mechanic.

He's the only one that can coax my Chevy along.

J.J.'s great.

Yeah. Oh, you know, he is forever bragging

about his wife, Tanya.

Look, see, um, they had, uh, themselves made up

to look like Bonnie and Clyde,

and then they had their picture taken.

(Rebecca laughs)

That's your mechanic?

Mm. Well, lately, though,

Tanya's had to increase her medication.

Poor thing, you know,

she's just given to these sort of demented delusions, and, uh,

oh, gosh, one day, she was walking

across somebody's front porch; she was wildly

flinging a-a souvenir Japanese sword.

Ay-yi-yi. And, uh...

J.J. said that that's not the real true Tanya.

He just still thinks that his wife is... amazing.

That's the man that repairs your cars.

(door opening)

Oh.

Hello. We're in here.

MIN FOO: I told you, she's not gonna be...

Hi. I know you said adults only...

Hi. but I'm still breast-feeding.

What do you expect?

It's all right. It's all right.

Hi. Hey.

Don't put him there.

Someone's gonna step on him.

This man is hopeless.

At 7:00 in the morning,

he's asking me to brew him coffee.

I only asked if coffee had been made, Min Foo.

You could have seen for yourself

that it wasn't made.

Shh. It's all right, it's all right.

What is that you're wearing?

PATCH: It's us.

Hi.

Sorry we're late.

What is that you're wearing?

It is my brand-new suit

that I bought on Thursday, and I like it,

so don't say a word.

Ah, everyone,

I would like you to meet Will Allenby,

the person

I invited you here to meet.

(silence)

(silverware clattering)

(baby cooing)

(all talking quietly)

Min Foo, do that in the other room.

MIN FOO: I'm decently covered.

I'm not sitting here naked.

We have company.

What must he think?

I'm sure you've seen a woman

nursing a baby before.

Well, yes.

I mean, of course.

(baby fussing)

Though, not at a dinner table, but...

(sighs)

(baby crying)

Oh, boy.

Patch, go after her.

I will not.

MIN FOO: Hakim!

I shall go.

A toast.

Oh, yes, a toast. Yeah.

POPPY: A toast. Good.

POPPY: I propose a toast to...

a toast to me and my birthday.

(laughter) Oh, Poppy.

It is not your birthday.

POPPY: Oh.

(whispering): This is a toast

to Will, welcome.

Oh, yeah, a toast to Will.

To-To welcome Will.

ALL: To Will.

POPPY: Here's to Will.

Here, here.

(all talking at once)

WILL: Thank you.

Ah.

Um... maybe a toast to... Rebecca.

Oh.

To Rebecca for being so lovely,

so gracious,

and cheering up my life.

Thank you.

To Becky!

Rebecca. ZEB: Can't imagine where

we'd all be if Rebecca hadn't shown up.

She turned out to be awfully good for business.

(laughs): Not at first.

I'm sure that Zeb remembers the first time

I helped out at a party.

(laughs): Oh, God.

I let fly a champagne cork...

(laughter)

...straight into a woman's bosom.

(laughter)

ZEB: Right.

Rebecca crumples to the floor in mortification,

like she's the one who got hit, and this women just

keeps right on talking, completely unaware.

Falsies was my

considered opinion.

(laughter)

Then she bends down and she says,

"Are you all right, dear?"

And then I just popped right up, and I...

(laughs): I poured the champagne...

(sighs)

...like nothing happened.

(laughs)

Hmm.

(low chatter)

(clears throat)

(chatter, silverware clattering)

HAKIM: ? Oh Abdul, boy ?

? The pipes, the pipes are calling ?

Here.

? From glen to glen ?

Oh.

? And down the mountainside... ?

Sweet.

I didn't know he was Irish.

I can't believe that she brought the baby here.

(chatter, soft laughter, singing continues)

? Oh, Abdul, boy ?

? Oh, Abdul, boy, I love you so. ?

WOMAN: I'll call you tomorrow.

Nice to see you again, Will.

REBECCA: I loved that. Thank you, bye, bye.

We'll see you again. Thanks, Beck.

Thank you, Rebecca. Bye, bye. All right.

It was nice to meet you, Will. Bye, Will.

Thanks. Bye.

Yeah. Frankly, I'm having a hard time

sorting them all out.

(laughs)

I mean, why-why is that one,

uh, stepdaughter, uh, Chinese?

And... and the fella, uh, Troy--

is he Biddy's husband?

No, no. Fir-First of all,

Min Foo is my daughter, not my stepdaughter.

I named her Minerva.

But Joe took one look at her paintbrush hair

and her sleepy eyes-- no wider than slits-- and...

Hey there, little Min Foo.

REBECCA: As for Troy,

he's the brother of Biddy's fianc?, Roland,

who died suddenly.

Troy is gay.

REBECCA: And then,

after Roland died, Biddy discovered

she was pregnant with Dixon,

so Troy moved back in and helped raise him.

And he's been with them every step of the way.

So, Dixon was conceived, uh, before...

I'll get the family album.

Oh, but Poppy, your milk's almost ready.

And anyway, Will has already

more or lessseen the family album.

I'll get the family album.

REBECCA: Oh, boy.

Now you're in for it.

So,

how'd you like my family?

Well, um...

(clears throat)

they're... they're ver-very interesting.

Yeah, well.

Ah, you didn't see Min Foo at her best.

I'm afraid she's beginning an old pattern.

Uh, have a baby, ditch the husband.

Oh, they all are pretty outspoken...

It's-It's kind of like those nature programs,

you know, where the female does away with the male

after he donates his sperm?

Pardon?

So many parties.

POPPY: Yeah. Isn't that the truth.

I mean, everywhere I look.

Well.

On the refrigerator, in this album.

Everybody's celebrating.

I mean, we just drank a toast in there.

And now you've brought me in here,

and you've got me looking at photos of toasts.

Years of toasts.

Oh, they're photographs.

I mean, you don't usually take pictures

of people reading a book or playing chess.

Chess?

(laughs): We-We don't play chess.

WILL: Well, I mean you...

You do have an unusual amount of parties,

you'll have to admit.

Every time we try to get together, we have

to work around your social events.

Social events.

WILL: Well, I mean, I understand you're a social type.

But consorting with your mechanic?

Sharing marital secrets with a stranger?

J.J.'s not a stranger.

Well, from what you've told me,

his attitude about his wife shows a total lack

of responsibility.

Piffle.

Oh. Oh.

Here's my Joycie.

(chuckles)

She was a cutie

all right. Ooh.

Yeah.

I better haul myself off to bed.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I-I think I'm, uh...

I'm gonna go to bed, too.

Oh. All right.

Oh.

Don't forget my birthday party.

Oh, I wouldn't miss it.

Oh, yeah.

When is his birthday?

It's in December.

What date in December?

I don't think

we'll be seeing each other in December, Will.

What-What... What do you mean?

Or before that, either.

Was it something that I did?

You didn't do anything, Will.

Was it your family? Didn't...

I mean, didn't they like me?

I'm sure they liked you.

Zeb?

Zeb?

Well, obviously,

he's my competition, although, I...

No, the fact of the matter is, this...

It just won't work, Will.

It won't.

I'm sorry to do this to you.

Again.

(sighs)

Good-bye, Will.

Good-bye, Will.

Well...

all right then.

Good-bye, Rebecca.

WOMAN: Practically as old as Robert E. Lee himself.

Sorry it took so long to come in.

Oh... no, that's-that's, uh... that's all right.

Thank you.

No, really, really, my life is finished.

It finished when the girls got grown...

so here I am, just, you know, hanging around,

marking time, waiting for things to wind down.

ZEB: Rebecca, are you all right?

Well, yeah. Define "all right."

Where's Will in all this?

Gone.

You ditched him?

(chuckles): Yep, but that's not the problem.

The problem is just I've...

I've outlived myself.

Well... remember what George Eliot said.

What did George Eliot say?

It's never too late to do what you want to do.

Well, you know, that's just...

that is just plain wrong.

I mean, what if I wanted to-- I don't know--

what if I wanted to get pregnant?

I mean, Zeb, that's just ridiculous.

(dial tone buzzes)

(phone rings)

Sorry.

I just remembered; it wasn't do what you want to do,

it's be what you want to be, I think.

I guess I'm just so tired.

I'm not even sure it's George Eliot.

Thanks for trying, Zeb.

Night.

Good night.

(water running)

(sighs)

There you are, Joe.

Ready for another glorious day,

helping other people celebrate life.

(birds chirping)

Happy birthday, Poppy.

Oh, thank you, Beck.

(chuckles)

Ooh, I got it, I got it.

Ooh. Do you know that 100 years ago today,

you were just the tiniest bundle

nestled in your cradle?

I don't even know who was president then.

Oh, beats me.

(chuckles)

No cars, probably no phones.

Mm.

I wonder from time to time

if the years Joycie didn't get to use in her life

got added onto mine.

Oh, oh, she would've been glad

to see you enjoy it.

Ah... Joycie... Joyce was a naturally happy person,

not like us Daviches.

Some people just have a harder time being happy.

Oh, boy. The night that I met Joe,

oh, he... he was laughin',

and then, when I saw him a few days later,

through the library window...

oh, I saw that life in his eyes,

and I knew right at that moment that I wanted to marry him.

You know, I think you might be right, though,

about the Daviches, because deep down,

I-I-I'm not sure he was really happy.

He never thought of party-giving as his true life.

Face it, Beck, there is no true life.

Your true life is the one you end up with, whatever it may be.

You just do the best with what you've got.

This isn't my party, is it?

(laughing): Oh, no...

No, no, Poppy.

Your party is going to be

everything you dreamed it would be.

(band playing jazzy music)

Oh, Mother, come here. I want you to meet Tanya.

Oh, no, thank you.

J.J.J. How do you do?

And J.J. Barrow. Hi.

How do you do? J.J.'s our, uh, handyman.

Oh. Are you here as guests?

Yes. Yes, we are.

Hey, Poppy, how you doing? Oh.

(kids laughing)

Happy birthday, Poppy.

Birthday, Poppy. Birthday, Poppy.

Whoa, for me?

(laughs): Oh.

Whoa, how 'bout that?

President Theodore Roosevelt.

He was president the year you were born.

That's beautiful. Look.

President Theodore Roosevelt.

He was a great president.

Are you really 100?

Yes, but don't tell anybody, huh?

"Pick up dry cleaning,

"make dental appointment for Peter,

"find someone to clean the gutters,

buy my bro a birthday gift."

These are the things I was supposed to do last week.

So?

Beck, when you and Dad got married, did you...?

And-and-and don't take this the wrong way,

but did you ever wonder if he'd married you

just so that he would have help with us kids?

I mean, I...

I am trying not to think that of Barry,

but I mean, these lists.

Oh, what are you saying,

that you don't think that Barry loves you?

He says he does, but, I mean, the PTA meetings, the carpool...

It's like... I'm so useful.

Well, don't you think that all of us,

I mean, love people,

you know, partly because of their usefulness?

Beck, love has nothing to do with it.

There's no use. Hakim is hopeless.

Thanks. I can always rely on my family for emotional support.

Oh, Min Foo...

please, could you please just once try to resist

dumping a husband

once you've had his baby?

I gave you the name of Patch's marriage counselor.

Patch, you're going to a marriage counselor?

Thanks a lot, Biddy.

Why does everybody in this family seem so unhappy?

Thank goodness for you and Troy.

Troy is gay, but we still argue

just like every other couple, okay?

How reassuring to hear that.

Hey, everybody,

Hakim took all of Poppy's homemade movies

and turned them into a tape.

They only go up to 1971, but...

Shh.

"Celebrating Paul Davich."

(laughing)

ZEB: Ah, your famous hamburgers, Poppy.

God, I was always good with my barbecue.

Hey, there's my Joycie.

(laughs)

ZEB: She looks great.

POPPY: She's my girl.

She looks happy.

Oh, man.

Oh, I loved that dog. That was Molly.

POPPY: Oh, that old train set.

Oh, there's Uncle Zeb.

POPPY: I gave him that train.

ZEB: And there's Joe.

Dad...

Yeah, he looks good.

GIRL: Real bright lights.

Uh-huh.

(kids laughing)

ZEB: Oh, that's a sweet shot.

Look at that.

(scoffs)

ZEB: Now, that's dancing.

I should've been arrested.

That's some nice moves.

Our Easter egg hunt.

Oh, there's me.

I remember that dress.

Well, we all wore it.

(laughter)

Would you look at us?

GIRL: That looks like fun.

POPPY: Ooh, what a...

what a bath she's getting.

(all laughing)

Weren't we the perfect family?

GIRL: Where are you, Mommy?

I wasn't born yet.

And here you are, Min Foo.

MIN FOO: Oh, there I am.

There you are, Mommy.

ZEB: Yahoo, Min Foo.

MIN FOO: Dad didn't have a chance.

Four girls.

(laughing)

Look at him. He was so handsome.

Wow. POPPY: Oh, that's a good movie.

It was beautiful, yeah!

MIN FOO: Good job, Hakim.

All right, cake is in the dining room.

Yay.

MIN FOO: Yeah, more champagne.

%% For he's a jolly good fellow %%

%% For he's a jolly good fellow %%

%% For he's a jolly good fellow %%

%% Which nobody can deny. %%

What's wrong?

Oh, it's the video.

It's as if I never existed.

As if what? (applause and cheering)

(cheering)

Beck. A toast.

Poppy.

To Poppy.

He's beginning to seem perennial.

We're observing his centennial,

so shout it

from the chandeliers.

We wish him another 100 years.

(cheering)

Happy birthday.

Another one of those everlasting rhymes of hers.

POPPY: I could eat all of this myself.

Let me take the baby.

I'll deal with him.

(baby crying)

(sighs)

(sighs)

Oh, look at you.

I know what you're thinking.

What kind of people have I ended up with?

How am I ever going to live

on this planet?

Come over here. Look, look, look.

(dings)

Miserable day?

Yeah. Beck, you know that was just Patch being Patch.

Oh, listen, what do I care?

Before that, Nono asked me

if Joe had married me for my usefulness.

Oh, believe me, over the years, uh,

that crossed my mind, too,

especially after he just... up and died,

leaving me to cope with all this.

What are you talking about?

Oh...

You know, when I first met him right here,

he said, uh, "Oh, you look

like you're having a wonderful time."

Well, you know, I wasn't having a wonderful time.

I should've just said that to him right then.

I was here, too, you know,

and I remember you walking into the Open Arms that day,

and you were having a wonderful time,

and my brother saw in you this gift of joy.

Joy?

Yeah, joy.

I'm sure you know that's something

the Davich gene pool sorely lacks.

Believe me, you give all of us such joy.

Oh, well, it's not enough.

It's more than enough; how can we survive

without it? You'd survive.

Not a chance. I don't know.

I know.

I know you hold all of us together

with your love, with your parties,

with your funny Rebecca toasts.

Mm.

We need you, Rebecca.

(baby crying)

Abdul's hungry, I think.

Hmm... well, it wouldn't be a family celebration

if Min Foo wasn't breast feeding.

Well, I guess we should go find her.

Yeah.

You're so young. Yeah.

He's hungry, honey.

Beck, where you been?

Champagne?

Yes, thanks.

Mom, I've run out of diapers.

Oh, honey, I think there's an extra package

underneath the sink.

Why aren't you in the video?

Well, I guess I was busy planning

some happening or other.

(sound of train moving)

Peter?

Do you know I had a dream about us?

Really?

What'd you dream about?

Well, it was a beautiful, sunny day...

and you and I were on a train.

Where were we going?

Well, we were traveling to...

to right here, I guess.

We were coming home.

Peter, can you come here

for a second?

I see you're having a wonderful time.

Yes, Joe... I really am.

BOY: Poppy, what did you wish for

when you blew out the candles?

Oh, for an even bigger party

next year.

GUESTS: Here, here. Absolutely.

Yeah, yeah, all right, let's go.

(loud ding)

---the end---

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