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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,637 --> 00:00:06,066 Mum died three years ago. 2 00:00:06,096 --> 00:00:07,887 She had a double mastectomy, but never really recovered. 3 00:00:07,912 --> 00:00:10,653 So why do you think your father suggested you come for counselling? 4 00:00:10,678 --> 00:00:12,309 Because my mother died and he can't talk about it. 5 00:00:12,334 --> 00:00:15,681 - Thanks, Dad. - Get your hands off my miscarriage! 6 00:00:15,720 --> 00:00:17,109 - I'm sorry for your loss. - What? 7 00:00:17,134 --> 00:00:18,959 - Your baby. - Oh. 8 00:00:18,960 --> 00:00:20,922 So, there is a particular person you're not having sex with? 9 00:00:20,947 --> 00:00:22,032 He's not available. 10 00:00:22,071 --> 00:00:25,430 I believe God meant for me to love people as a father. 11 00:00:25,478 --> 00:00:26,539 I'll go up to three. 12 00:00:26,586 --> 00:00:27,712 No-one's asked me a question in 45 minutes... 13 00:00:27,736 --> 00:00:28,821 So, what do you do? 14 00:00:28,875 --> 00:00:31,976 You'll always be interesting with your quirky cafe 15 00:00:32,001 --> 00:00:33,390 and your dead best friend. 16 00:00:33,415 --> 00:00:37,441 Celibacy is a lot less complicated than romantic relationships. 17 00:00:38,213 --> 00:00:40,035 But what if you meet someone you like? 18 00:00:40,104 --> 00:00:43,308 I talk and drink and laugh and give them Bibles 19 00:00:43,333 --> 00:00:45,081 and hope they eventually leave me alone. 20 00:00:45,106 --> 00:00:46,364 What if you meet someone you love? 21 00:00:46,434 --> 00:00:49,156 We're not going to have sex. 22 00:00:49,257 --> 00:00:51,255 I'd really like to be your friend, though. 23 00:00:51,280 --> 00:00:52,531 I'd like to be your friend too. 24 00:00:52,577 --> 00:00:53,919 What makes you a normal person? 25 00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:55,359 Well, I don't believe in God... 26 00:00:55,360 --> 00:00:56,720 I love it when he does that. 27 00:00:58,760 --> 00:01:00,504 I don't know. 28 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:01,777 Just come out. 29 00:01:07,320 --> 00:01:08,919 - I prefer the last one. - Me too. 30 00:01:08,920 --> 00:01:10,599 - It's a bit more subtle. - Elegant, yeah. 31 00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:11,919 - It's these bits, isn't it? - Yep. 32 00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:14,080 - Yep, last one, definitely. - Yep. Great. 34 00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:23,799 - Really pleased with that! - Yeah. 35 00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:26,359 - Once it's nipped in there... - Oh, it'll be perfect. 36 00:01:26,360 --> 00:01:27,599 His arms. 37 00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:29,729 - Do you prefer weddings or funerals? - Weddings. 38 00:01:29,754 --> 00:01:30,793 His arms. 39 00:01:30,818 --> 00:01:32,535 I think there's something humbling about funerals. 40 00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:33,516 Really? 41 00:01:33,541 --> 00:01:36,079 Yeah, it's good to dwell on the next life. 42 00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:37,759 You really think there's a next life? 43 00:01:37,760 --> 00:01:39,840 What do you believe? Worm food? 44 00:01:41,320 --> 00:01:42,832 - Why?! - Why what? 45 00:01:42,857 --> 00:01:43,902 His neck. 46 00:01:43,927 --> 00:01:46,207 Why would you believe in something awful when you could 47 00:01:46,232 --> 00:01:47,809 believe in something wonderful? 48 00:01:47,834 --> 00:01:51,371 Don't make me an optimist, you will ruin my life. 49 00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:55,199 - Have you been to many funerals? - A couple. 50 00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:56,239 His neck. 51 00:01:56,240 --> 00:01:58,639 And you've never felt them go somewhere? 52 00:01:58,640 --> 00:01:59,575 No, they were already gone. 53 00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:00,855 His beautiful neck. 54 00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:02,372 What? 55 00:02:03,106 --> 00:02:04,159 What? 56 00:02:04,184 --> 00:02:06,559 You just said, "His beautiful neck". 57 00:02:06,640 --> 00:02:10,125 No, I said that they'd already gone. 58 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:12,799 Okay. Weird. 59 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:14,258 Oh, right, so... 60 00:02:15,320 --> 00:02:18,386 This might be your idea of hell... 61 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:22,316 ...but I think it's kind of special. 62 00:02:24,425 --> 00:02:26,029 His beautiful neck. 63 00:02:34,896 --> 00:02:36,789 Quaker meeting. 64 00:02:37,160 --> 00:02:38,480 You're not allowed to speak. 65 00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:41,719 If the Spirit moves you to speak, you have to stand up 66 00:02:41,744 --> 00:02:43,508 and share it with everyone. 67 00:02:44,523 --> 00:02:46,562 It's very intense. 68 00:02:46,626 --> 00:02:48,447 It's very quiet. 69 00:02:48,570 --> 00:02:51,338 It's very, very... 70 00:02:52,228 --> 00:02:53,510 ...erotic. 71 00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:07,760 Oh. 72 00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:11,687 I think... 73 00:03:12,366 --> 00:03:16,780 I'm going to go home in November. 74 00:03:18,522 --> 00:03:19,840 I think. 75 00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:36,280 What's he thinking? 76 00:03:42,080 --> 00:03:43,600 What's he thinking? 77 00:03:52,513 --> 00:03:53,809 I don't really think it's... 78 00:03:53,834 --> 00:03:56,005 I'm not really feeling the... 79 00:03:56,030 --> 00:03:57,591 I don't think it's really affecting me... 80 00:03:57,615 --> 00:03:59,263 Oh, my... 81 00:03:59,842 --> 00:04:01,479 Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God. 82 00:04:01,480 --> 00:04:03,701 What am I going to say? What am I going to say? 83 00:04:05,496 --> 00:04:07,275 I sometimes worry 84 00:04:08,212 --> 00:04:09,815 that I wouldn't be such a feminist 85 00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:11,752 if I had bigger tits. 86 00:04:28,376 --> 00:04:30,651 - Well, it's good you felt something. - Is it? 87 00:04:30,676 --> 00:04:32,128 Something moved you. 88 00:04:32,153 --> 00:04:35,089 I'm not sure I needed to me moved to discover that about myself. 89 00:04:36,097 --> 00:04:37,347 What were you thinking? 90 00:04:37,371 --> 00:04:38,621 I was thinking about how peaceful 91 00:04:38,646 --> 00:04:40,895 I felt and then for some reason, I was thinking about your tits, 92 00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:42,025 which kind of ruined it. 93 00:04:42,049 --> 00:04:44,639 - Oh, my tits ruined your peace? - Yeah. You could say that. 94 00:04:48,704 --> 00:04:50,774 - I should probably open the cafe... - I've got a confession actually... 95 00:04:50,799 --> 00:04:52,672 - Oh, can I see it? - Uh... 96 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:54,639 Oh, yeah... 97 00:04:54,702 --> 00:04:56,047 It's a bit... 98 00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:57,954 What? 99 00:04:58,585 --> 00:05:00,095 - It's a bit... - What... 100 00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:01,710 ...the fuck? 101 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:05,507 Hello. 102 00:05:05,584 --> 00:05:08,853 Oh, you gorgeous little thing. 103 00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:12,535 Can I ask, um, 104 00:05:12,621 --> 00:05:14,645 why so many guinea pigs? 105 00:05:14,723 --> 00:05:16,199 Oh, um... 106 00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:17,496 I just, um... 107 00:05:18,640 --> 00:05:21,292 This is an excellent one. 108 00:05:21,353 --> 00:05:23,034 I just thought it'd be a unique selling point. 109 00:05:23,058 --> 00:05:24,425 Yeah. 110 00:05:24,472 --> 00:05:27,034 Which came first, the guinea pig or the guinea pig cafe? 111 00:05:27,097 --> 00:05:30,117 That is a big, old question. 112 00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:31,500 Fair enough. 113 00:05:32,672 --> 00:05:34,164 What do guinea pigs do? 114 00:05:34,189 --> 00:05:36,757 They are born, they shit themselves with fear and then they die. 115 00:05:39,296 --> 00:05:41,687 Can I use that at the wedding? 116 00:05:41,711 --> 00:05:42,999 Seriously, I need material. 117 00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:45,523 Tell me about your stepmother-to-be. 118 00:05:45,577 --> 00:05:47,897 Any... What's she like? 119 00:05:47,953 --> 00:05:50,194 Oh, she's, um... 120 00:05:50,975 --> 00:05:53,515 - she's from Exeter. - Mm. 121 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:56,171 Okay, thank you, that's very helpful. 122 00:05:56,369 --> 00:05:58,609 - How did she meet your dad? - Through my mother. 123 00:05:58,681 --> 00:05:59,733 Right. 124 00:05:59,786 --> 00:06:01,598 She was my mother's student at one point. 125 00:06:01,640 --> 00:06:03,880 - Do your parents get on? - No. 126 00:06:03,920 --> 00:06:06,153 - Were you close to your mum? - Yeah. 127 00:06:06,241 --> 00:06:07,880 You? 128 00:06:07,924 --> 00:06:09,643 Not really. 129 00:06:09,677 --> 00:06:11,302 - How come? - So, that must've been a bit weird? 130 00:06:11,337 --> 00:06:13,216 I don't really think about it. 131 00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:20,321 - So, you run... No, no. - Do you go back a lot to... 132 00:06:20,379 --> 00:06:23,473 Do you run this place on your own? 133 00:06:23,503 --> 00:06:25,799 - No, I opened it with a friend. - Oh, cool, right. 134 00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:28,059 - So, you run it together? - No, she's... 135 00:06:28,835 --> 00:06:30,301 ...she, uh... 136 00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:31,606 She what? 137 00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:36,387 What? 138 00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:39,410 - What? - She... she what? 139 00:06:40,560 --> 00:06:42,120 She... 140 00:06:43,716 --> 00:06:44,878 He's a bit annoying actually. 141 00:06:44,932 --> 00:06:46,851 What is that? 142 00:06:46,882 --> 00:06:48,041 What? 143 00:06:48,105 --> 00:06:51,064 That thing that you're doing. It's like you disappear. 144 00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:52,305 - What? - What are you not telling me? 145 00:06:52,330 --> 00:06:53,249 Nothing! 146 00:06:53,274 --> 00:06:54,399 Tell me what going on underneath there. 147 00:06:54,424 --> 00:06:55,594 - Nothing! - Tell me, come on! 148 00:06:55,618 --> 00:06:56,521 - No! - You can tell me. 149 00:06:56,546 --> 00:06:58,411 - Nothing! Nothing! - Argh! What are you doing?! 150 00:06:58,436 --> 00:07:00,479 - Stop being so churchy. - I'm not being churchy. 151 00:07:00,480 --> 00:07:02,960 - I'm just trying to get to know you. - Well, I don't want that. 152 00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:15,208 Listen, I'm just trying to help you. 153 00:07:16,270 --> 00:07:17,520 What? 154 00:07:19,068 --> 00:07:20,693 No. No, I didn't mean... 155 00:07:20,748 --> 00:07:22,031 Oh, I know what you mean, Father. 156 00:07:22,055 --> 00:07:23,146 Thank you so much for your guidance. 157 00:07:23,209 --> 00:07:24,359 Come on, I didn't mean... 158 00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:25,545 I really should get back to work. 159 00:07:25,586 --> 00:07:26,998 A customer's bound to turn up any minute. 160 00:07:27,060 --> 00:07:29,451 And you should be getting back to God, don't you think? 161 00:07:32,394 --> 00:07:34,732 I think you played with my guinea pig long enough. 162 00:07:43,962 --> 00:07:45,322 Okay. 163 00:07:53,360 --> 00:07:54,714 All right, bye. 164 00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:14,728 Sorry, girls. People are starting to arrive. 165 00:08:19,236 --> 00:08:21,362 She was a spectacular woman. 166 00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:35,483 Don't worry. We can sort this out. 167 00:08:48,507 --> 00:08:49,999 Stop doing that to your face. 168 00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:52,559 No, I have to. I don't know what's wrong! 169 00:08:52,654 --> 00:08:54,759 I just... 170 00:08:54,784 --> 00:08:56,146 I look so good. 171 00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:57,895 It's okay. We can sort it out. 172 00:08:57,920 --> 00:09:00,012 Just... Take some of your makeup off. 173 00:09:00,037 --> 00:09:01,178 I'm not wearing any makeup. 174 00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:02,326 What? 175 00:09:02,327 --> 00:09:03,370 What has happened? 176 00:09:03,395 --> 00:09:05,137 - I have never seen you look so good. - I don't know, I just woke up... 177 00:09:05,184 --> 00:09:06,630 ...looking amazing and then everyone's going to think 178 00:09:06,654 --> 00:09:08,919 I got a fucking facial for my mother's funeral. 179 00:09:08,981 --> 00:09:11,119 Oh, what the hell? You look incredible. 180 00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:12,719 We're trying to mess her up. 181 00:09:12,744 --> 00:09:15,251 No matter what I do to my hair, it just keeps falling in this 182 00:09:15,286 --> 00:09:17,126 really chic way. 183 00:09:17,425 --> 00:09:18,896 Oh, God. 184 00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:21,425 - You look perfect. - Thank you. 185 00:09:21,480 --> 00:09:23,659 Sorry, girls. People are starting to arrive. 186 00:09:23,729 --> 00:09:24,886 Thank you. 187 00:09:24,933 --> 00:09:26,324 You don't have to greet them if it's too... 188 00:09:26,359 --> 00:09:28,605 Gosh, you look gorgeous. 189 00:09:28,646 --> 00:09:29,675 Thank you. 190 00:09:31,731 --> 00:09:33,810 - I'm so sorry. - Thank you. 191 00:09:33,866 --> 00:09:36,230 - You look glorious. - Thank you. 192 00:09:36,323 --> 00:09:38,682 - Have you spoken to Dad? - No, not yet. 193 00:09:38,776 --> 00:09:40,175 He's avoiding me. 194 00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:42,676 My deepest condolences, girls. 195 00:09:42,701 --> 00:09:44,220 She was magnificent. 196 00:09:44,280 --> 00:09:46,731 - Thanks so much. - My God, you look well. 197 00:09:46,756 --> 00:09:48,275 Thank you. Have you? 198 00:09:48,305 --> 00:09:49,984 No, he's not really engaging. 199 00:09:50,040 --> 00:09:52,442 She was a spectacular woman. 200 00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:54,376 - Thanks. - Darling, you look wonderful. 201 00:09:54,451 --> 00:09:56,110 Oh, my God. 202 00:09:56,165 --> 00:09:57,337 - Hi, Claire. - Hi. 203 00:09:57,390 --> 00:10:00,309 Gosh. Grief clearly agrees with you. 204 00:10:00,380 --> 00:10:01,660 Thank you, Jeremy. 205 00:10:03,880 --> 00:10:05,505 Oh. Incoming. 206 00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:07,399 How are you doing? 207 00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:09,357 My God, she's shameless. 208 00:10:09,440 --> 00:10:12,162 Can you not think the fucking worst of someone for just a split 209 00:10:12,216 --> 00:10:13,559 fucking second? 210 00:10:13,560 --> 00:10:15,262 Not everyone is after cock. 211 00:10:26,651 --> 00:10:28,610 She's definitely trying to fuck my dad. 212 00:10:28,674 --> 00:10:30,154 Well, she ain't made of wood. 213 00:10:31,700 --> 00:10:33,044 Do you want a ciggie? 214 00:10:36,610 --> 00:10:38,129 Ooh, incoming. 215 00:10:38,177 --> 00:10:39,605 Hi, Harry. 216 00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:41,285 Hi. Hi. 217 00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:42,636 - You okay? - Mm-hm. 218 00:10:43,553 --> 00:10:45,032 You? 219 00:10:45,080 --> 00:10:46,031 Do you need anything? 220 00:10:46,092 --> 00:10:49,811 No, I'm good thanks. I've just had a large glass of water. 221 00:10:49,882 --> 00:10:51,441 Are your trousers okay? 222 00:10:51,490 --> 00:10:53,992 Yeah, sorry, I left them in the drier. 223 00:10:54,052 --> 00:10:55,078 Ah, mate. 224 00:10:55,138 --> 00:10:57,809 Ah, shit, sorry. 225 00:10:57,887 --> 00:10:59,200 It's okay. 226 00:10:59,871 --> 00:11:03,231 It's just funerals when you actually knew the person... 227 00:11:03,285 --> 00:11:04,606 They're so... 228 00:11:11,712 --> 00:11:13,272 It just doesn't feel real. 229 00:11:15,720 --> 00:11:17,439 I'm just going to miss her so much. 230 00:11:19,105 --> 00:11:21,591 - Have you cried yet? - Yes. 231 00:11:22,250 --> 00:11:24,169 But I didn't see you cr... 232 00:11:24,617 --> 00:11:26,696 Wow, you look.. 233 00:11:26,752 --> 00:11:28,232 Have you had your eyebrows done? 234 00:11:29,575 --> 00:11:31,849 Hi, girls. How you doing? 235 00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:33,319 - All right. - Okay, thanks. 236 00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:35,396 You know, the hard bit's going to come in a few weeks 237 00:11:35,435 --> 00:11:37,224 when it all calms down. 238 00:11:37,279 --> 00:11:39,396 - Yeah, I have heard. - They do say that, yeah. 239 00:11:39,435 --> 00:11:41,310 When people start to forget 240 00:11:41,373 --> 00:11:43,677 and the cards and the flowers stop turning up. 241 00:11:43,702 --> 00:11:44,825 - Yeah. - Uh-huh, yeah. 242 00:11:44,850 --> 00:11:46,638 And people just disappear because it spooks them 243 00:11:46,663 --> 00:11:48,628 to be around someone perpetually in pain. 244 00:11:48,653 --> 00:11:49,708 Okay. - Right. 245 00:11:49,733 --> 00:11:51,755 And your lovely boyfriends might not be able to cope. 246 00:11:51,780 --> 00:11:53,500 - Well, he's my husband... - I'm sure they'll push through. 247 00:11:53,525 --> 00:11:56,844 I just want you to know that I will always be there for you, always. 248 00:11:56,906 --> 00:11:58,672 - Always. - Thank you. 249 00:11:59,769 --> 00:12:00,809 Always. 250 00:12:02,881 --> 00:12:04,177 Always. 251 00:12:05,374 --> 00:12:07,037 I'm going to check on the sausagerolls. 252 00:12:07,062 --> 00:12:08,342 Okay. 253 00:12:14,542 --> 00:12:16,311 See? 254 00:12:16,720 --> 00:12:17,960 Okay. 255 00:12:23,237 --> 00:12:24,345 Hey. 256 00:12:24,370 --> 00:12:26,378 I don't know how you're eating. 257 00:12:26,908 --> 00:12:28,188 Do something. 258 00:12:44,154 --> 00:12:45,233 Hi. 259 00:12:45,281 --> 00:12:47,352 Oh. Hello, darling. 260 00:12:49,080 --> 00:12:51,704 - Bit tight. - Oh, yeah. 261 00:12:52,384 --> 00:12:53,834 Tell me about it. 262 00:13:00,845 --> 00:13:03,775 I found her very difficult, you know. 263 00:13:04,360 --> 00:13:05,869 I know. 264 00:13:06,178 --> 00:13:09,728 I loved her, but, um... 265 00:13:09,804 --> 00:13:12,400 - That's all that really matters. - No, I don't think it is. 266 00:13:14,138 --> 00:13:15,645 Her instincts were... 267 00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:20,058 She just knew how to be fun. 268 00:13:20,634 --> 00:13:22,153 How to be kind. 269 00:13:22,233 --> 00:13:23,675 She just knew. 270 00:13:25,336 --> 00:13:26,880 I'm just guessing. 271 00:13:29,377 --> 00:13:30,656 You're fun, Dad. 272 00:13:30,720 --> 00:13:33,081 No, I didn't like that about her. 273 00:13:33,922 --> 00:13:37,057 I loved her, but I didn't like that she was... 274 00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:42,369 For a long time, I... 275 00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:45,960 And today... 276 00:13:48,520 --> 00:13:49,919 ...I was jealous of her. 277 00:13:52,838 --> 00:13:55,533 That is a lovely thing to say, really. 278 00:13:56,151 --> 00:13:57,480 Oh, sorry. 279 00:14:00,778 --> 00:14:02,444 I'll leave you two. 280 00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:12,292 - She's a bit annoying, isn't she? - Mm. 281 00:14:14,096 --> 00:14:15,785 Look, let's go and find your sister. 282 00:14:15,810 --> 00:14:17,691 Yeah, I don't think she wants to see me. 283 00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:19,589 She loves you. 284 00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:22,723 She just didn't get the fun gene. 285 00:14:31,065 --> 00:14:32,825 I just... 286 00:14:34,570 --> 00:14:36,240 - I don't know what to... - I know. 287 00:14:39,795 --> 00:14:41,594 Buck up. 288 00:14:41,680 --> 00:14:42,919 Smile. 289 00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:44,222 Charm. 290 00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:47,040 Off we go. 291 00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:49,880 We'll be okay. 292 00:14:54,011 --> 00:14:55,258 I'll follow you. 293 00:14:59,338 --> 00:15:01,217 You look lovely, by the way. 294 00:15:01,264 --> 00:15:02,504 Thank you. 295 00:15:18,560 --> 00:15:20,787 I don't know what to do with it. 296 00:15:20,880 --> 00:15:22,349 With what? 297 00:15:22,440 --> 00:15:24,360 With all the love I have for her. 298 00:15:26,792 --> 00:15:30,354 I don't know where to put it now. 299 00:15:31,542 --> 00:15:34,433 I'll take it. 300 00:15:34,475 --> 00:15:36,175 No, I'm serious. 301 00:15:36,237 --> 00:15:38,703 It sounds lovely. 302 00:15:39,156 --> 00:15:41,135 I'll have it. 303 00:15:41,160 --> 00:15:43,797 - You have to give it to me. - Okay. 304 00:15:45,194 --> 00:15:47,114 It's got to go somewhere. 305 00:16:08,037 --> 00:16:10,388 ♪ Children grow and women producing ♪ 306 00:16:10,458 --> 00:16:12,880 ♪ Men go working, some go stealing ♪ 307 00:16:12,943 --> 00:16:15,363 ♪ Everyone's got to make a living ♪ 308 00:16:16,769 --> 00:16:18,121 ♪ L O X, yeah ♪ 309 00:16:19,113 --> 00:16:20,503 ♪ J. Lo, yeah ♪ 310 00:16:21,852 --> 00:16:23,690 ♪ We off the block this year ♪ 311 00:16:23,761 --> 00:16:26,012 ♪ Went from a little to a lot this year ♪ 312 00:16:26,761 --> 00:16:28,677 ♪ Don't be fooled by the rocks that I got ♪ 313 00:16:28,747 --> 00:16:30,950 ♪ I'm still, I'm still Jenny from the block ♪ 314 00:16:31,012 --> 00:16:33,160 ♪ Used to have a little, now I have a lot ♪ 315 00:16:33,247 --> 00:16:35,984 ♪ No matter where I go, I know where I came from... ♪ 316 00:16:36,009 --> 00:16:38,843 Oh, fuck! Fuck! Jesus! 317 00:16:38,898 --> 00:16:41,022 Why are you awake? It's 9:45! 318 00:16:41,084 --> 00:16:43,119 Oh, my God! I thought you were just in my head, then! 319 00:16:43,170 --> 00:16:45,498 But, I mean, you were in my head, then. 320 00:16:45,560 --> 00:16:47,779 But now you're there! 321 00:16:49,216 --> 00:16:50,695 You okay, Father? 322 00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:52,398 Ah, fuck, you calling me "Father" 323 00:16:52,422 --> 00:16:54,968 like it doesn't turn you on just to say it. 324 00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:02,129 - Do you want a drink? - Okay. 325 00:17:02,223 --> 00:17:03,440 Don't move. 326 00:17:09,066 --> 00:17:10,786 Are you a nostalgic person? 327 00:17:12,247 --> 00:17:13,439 Yeah. 328 00:17:13,536 --> 00:17:15,661 - Do you like Winnie the Pooh? - Yeah. 329 00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:17,999 I fucking love Winnie the Pooh. 330 00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:20,575 I can't read a Winnie the Pooh quote without crying. 331 00:17:21,193 --> 00:17:22,633 Fuck. 332 00:17:23,689 --> 00:17:25,089 Piglet. 333 00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:28,040 Piglet. 334 00:17:29,294 --> 00:17:30,613 Why are you here? 335 00:17:30,638 --> 00:17:33,166 Sorry, but I mean why, why are you... 336 00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:35,033 Were you looking for me? 337 00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:40,486 I was on the verge of having a little prayer, actually. 338 00:17:41,830 --> 00:17:43,893 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 339 00:17:43,932 --> 00:17:46,971 Don't, don't you... That's my thing. 340 00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:48,421 What were you praying about? 341 00:17:48,445 --> 00:17:49,679 Please say you were praying for me. 342 00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:51,205 I could do with the extra pair of hands. 343 00:17:51,260 --> 00:17:55,768 Mine don't seem to have the fucking reach any more. 344 00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:00,005 God help me! 345 00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:01,755 Whoa! 346 00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:03,360 Thank you. 347 00:18:05,656 --> 00:18:07,441 Do you know there was a man who wanted to be a saint 348 00:18:07,466 --> 00:18:10,597 so badly he castrated himself just to stop himself? 349 00:18:11,788 --> 00:18:14,114 You know... whack! 350 00:18:15,429 --> 00:18:16,909 Wow! 351 00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:25,106 Here's to peace. 352 00:18:27,720 --> 00:18:29,720 And those who get in the way of it. 353 00:18:44,467 --> 00:18:46,147 I'm sorry about today. 354 00:18:47,504 --> 00:18:48,766 Forget it. 355 00:18:49,571 --> 00:18:51,491 Look at this. 356 00:18:57,119 --> 00:18:58,559 Look at it. 357 00:18:58,653 --> 00:19:00,253 That's the first one I ever got. 358 00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:04,180 Went all the way to Rome for that. 359 00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:05,665 Such a nerd! 360 00:19:07,211 --> 00:19:10,868 Two years before I was even allowed to wear it, but I just... 361 00:19:11,110 --> 00:19:12,227 I couldn't wait. 362 00:19:12,280 --> 00:19:16,516 I couldn't wait! I knew I wanted a bold, 363 00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:19,415 you know, this colour, but proper plum. 364 00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:21,640 You can only get proper plum in Italy. 365 00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:25,160 Sometimes I worry I'm only in it for the outfits. 366 00:19:28,320 --> 00:19:29,722 So beautiful, isn't it? 367 00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:35,059 I mean, your stuff is lovely, too. 368 00:19:37,117 --> 00:19:38,348 What were you praying about? 369 00:19:44,165 --> 00:19:46,649 You don't like answering questions, do you? 370 00:19:52,840 --> 00:19:54,111 Okay. 371 00:19:59,801 --> 00:20:01,481 Come with me. 372 00:20:04,046 --> 00:20:05,640 I know what to do with you. 373 00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:10,054 You go in there, I go in there. 374 00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:12,448 And you make me tell you all my secrets 375 00:20:12,522 --> 00:20:14,401 so you can ultimately trap and control me? 376 00:20:14,425 --> 00:20:16,626 Yeah. No. 377 00:20:16,651 --> 00:20:18,020 You tell me what's weighing on your heart 378 00:20:18,044 --> 00:20:19,261 and I listen without judgment 379 00:20:19,292 --> 00:20:21,394 - and in complete confidence. - Sounds dodgy! 380 00:20:21,418 --> 00:20:22,639 I just listen. 381 00:20:22,694 --> 00:20:24,835 At the very least it'll shut me up for a minute. 382 00:20:24,859 --> 00:20:27,007 - I'm not Catholic. - Tonight, that doesn't matter. 383 00:20:27,054 --> 00:20:28,562 Won't I catch fire or something? 384 00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:30,879 If you did, it would confirm my faith, so let's try it. 385 00:20:30,903 --> 00:20:32,551 Go on. 386 00:20:36,730 --> 00:20:38,170 Go on. 387 00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:43,320 All right. 388 00:20:56,040 --> 00:20:58,333 Okay, now you say, "Bless me father for I have sinned." 389 00:20:58,411 --> 00:21:00,536 - I'm not going to say that! - Well, very good. 390 00:21:00,591 --> 00:21:03,097 "It's been..." Uh, enter days, years, months 391 00:21:03,153 --> 00:21:04,776 - "...since my last confession." - Mm-hmm. 392 00:21:04,815 --> 00:21:07,309 Then I say, "That's okay, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah", 393 00:21:07,363 --> 00:21:08,676 till you tell me what's on your mind. 394 00:21:08,700 --> 00:21:10,522 Tell me your ssss... 395 00:21:10,574 --> 00:21:13,714 - Sins. - Sins, if you want. 396 00:21:13,760 --> 00:21:16,690 - Why would I tell you my sins? - Because it will make you feel better! 397 00:21:16,745 --> 00:21:19,501 And because I want to know. 398 00:21:22,040 --> 00:21:23,290 Okay. 399 00:21:30,267 --> 00:21:31,979 I lied. 400 00:21:32,073 --> 00:21:33,519 Okay. 401 00:21:33,848 --> 00:21:35,328 To you. 402 00:21:36,125 --> 00:21:39,498 - About? - About the miscarriage. 403 00:21:46,963 --> 00:21:49,580 I was just covering for my sister who actually had the miscarriage, 404 00:21:49,641 --> 00:21:52,400 because her husband didn't know she was pregnant, and it just... 405 00:21:53,165 --> 00:21:54,645 Okay. 406 00:21:58,199 --> 00:21:59,919 Keep going. 407 00:22:01,316 --> 00:22:03,329 And I've stolen things. 408 00:22:04,195 --> 00:22:08,460 I've had a lot of sex outside of marriage. 409 00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:12,517 And once or twice inside someone else's. 410 00:22:13,241 --> 00:22:15,761 And there's been a spot of sodomy. 411 00:22:16,322 --> 00:22:19,392 Um, there's been much masturbation, 412 00:22:19,417 --> 00:22:22,025 a bit of violence, and of course the endless fucking blasphemy. 413 00:22:24,160 --> 00:22:25,640 And? 414 00:22:26,706 --> 00:22:28,146 And... 415 00:22:30,695 --> 00:22:33,335 - Go on. - And... 416 00:22:36,407 --> 00:22:37,967 I... 417 00:22:41,396 --> 00:22:43,116 ...I can't... 418 00:22:44,275 --> 00:22:46,155 It's okay, go on. 419 00:22:47,315 --> 00:22:49,835 - Frightened. - Of what? 420 00:22:51,160 --> 00:22:52,692 Forgetting things. 421 00:22:54,262 --> 00:22:55,887 People. 422 00:22:56,293 --> 00:22:57,832 Forgetting people. 423 00:23:02,040 --> 00:23:06,559 And I'm ashamed of not knowing what I... 424 00:23:07,020 --> 00:23:08,853 What you want? It's okay not to know what you want. 425 00:23:08,924 --> 00:23:12,947 No, I know what I want. I know exactly what I want right now. 426 00:23:13,026 --> 00:23:14,791 What's that? 427 00:23:16,992 --> 00:23:18,862 It's bad. 428 00:23:19,398 --> 00:23:20,798 It's okay. 429 00:23:22,746 --> 00:23:25,392 I want someone to tell me what to wear in the morning. 430 00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:29,049 Okay, well, I think there are people who can... 431 00:23:29,121 --> 00:23:32,081 No, I want someone to tell me what to wear every morning. 432 00:23:33,320 --> 00:23:36,480 I want someone to tell me what to eat, 433 00:23:36,533 --> 00:23:38,399 what to like, what to hate, 434 00:23:38,448 --> 00:23:40,128 what to rage about, 435 00:23:40,206 --> 00:23:42,425 what to listen to, what band to like, 436 00:23:42,496 --> 00:23:44,283 what to buy tickets for, 437 00:23:44,346 --> 00:23:46,199 what to joke about, what not to joke about. 438 00:23:46,291 --> 00:23:48,689 I want someone to tell me what to believe in, 439 00:23:49,822 --> 00:23:50,853 who to vote for, 440 00:23:50,908 --> 00:23:54,331 and who to love, and how to... tell them. 441 00:23:59,320 --> 00:24:01,756 I just think I want someone to tell me 442 00:24:03,357 --> 00:24:04,712 how to live my life, Father, 443 00:24:04,795 --> 00:24:07,280 because so far I think I've been getting it wrong. 444 00:24:08,812 --> 00:24:11,687 And I know that's why people want people like you in their lives. 445 00:24:11,760 --> 00:24:14,242 Because you just tell them how to do it. 446 00:24:14,320 --> 00:24:16,913 You just tell them what to do, 447 00:24:17,007 --> 00:24:18,399 and what they'll get out of the end of it. 448 00:24:18,449 --> 00:24:20,832 Even though I don't believe your bullshit, and I know that 449 00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:23,974 scientifically nothing I do makes any difference in the end anyway, 450 00:24:24,040 --> 00:24:27,396 I'm still scared! Why am I still scared?! 451 00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:39,441 So just tell me what to do. 452 00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:46,589 Just fucking tell me what to do, Father! 453 00:24:55,522 --> 00:24:56,833 Kneel. 454 00:24:58,898 --> 00:25:00,418 What? 455 00:25:03,035 --> 00:25:04,616 Kneel. 456 00:25:10,532 --> 00:25:12,030 Just kneel. 457 00:26:38,486 --> 00:26:41,666 - Is this a skirt and trousers? - Sorry, sorry.31561

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