All language subtitles for Crazy.Ex-Girlfriend.S04E09.HDTV.x264-BATV[ettv]

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic Download
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,039 --> 00:00:01,678 Previously on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend... 2 00:00:01,703 --> 00:00:03,147 - I had sex with your dad. - What? 3 00:00:03,172 --> 00:00:04,249 And I was in a really low place, like, 4 00:00:04,273 --> 00:00:05,484 the lowest place I've ever been in my life. 5 00:00:05,508 --> 00:00:07,123 I can't believe that happened. Why did you do that? 6 00:00:07,148 --> 00:00:09,076 Bert is in charge, and that's that. 7 00:00:09,145 --> 00:00:10,678 I'm enjoying it so much around here. 8 00:00:10,746 --> 00:00:12,639 I've just made a few changes. 9 00:00:12,664 --> 00:00:13,842 Maybe I can find you some good people. 10 00:00:13,867 --> 00:00:15,442 A match. 11 00:00:15,467 --> 00:00:16,467 Check it out. 12 00:00:16,619 --> 00:00:18,085 Oh, my God, that's Jason. 13 00:00:18,154 --> 00:00:19,983 I've been on a date with this guy. 14 00:00:20,008 --> 00:00:21,052 I still have this guy's number. 15 00:00:21,076 --> 00:00:22,141 Maybe I'll text him back. 16 00:00:22,210 --> 00:00:24,010 I am going to get you out of here. 17 00:00:24,079 --> 00:00:25,345 Probably be able to do it 18 00:00:25,370 --> 00:00:26,413 before you do Cats. 19 00:00:26,438 --> 00:00:28,546 I would never do Cats. 20 00:00:28,571 --> 00:00:30,171 - We should do Cats. - Yeah. - Let's do Cats. 21 00:00:30,196 --> 00:00:32,263 Delightful. Who cares if there's no plot? 22 00:00:33,175 --> 00:00:36,143 ♪ Meet Rebecca ♪ 23 00:00:36,532 --> 00:00:39,203 ♪ She's the coolest girl in the world, wait ♪ 24 00:00:39,228 --> 00:00:42,563 ♪ Wrong Rebecca ♪ 25 00:00:42,945 --> 00:00:45,212 ♪ It's this one over here ♪ 26 00:00:45,280 --> 00:00:47,968 ♪ She's spunky, she's sweet, a generous friend ♪ 27 00:00:48,016 --> 00:00:50,383 ♪ Oh, but there she looks kind of mean ♪ 28 00:00:50,408 --> 00:00:52,041 - Hmm. - ♪ Okay, she's snarky ♪ 29 00:00:52,066 --> 00:00:54,231 ♪ Sarcastic and a... What? ♪ 30 00:00:54,256 --> 00:00:57,671 ♪ You know, we're not really seeing a common theme ♪ 31 00:00:57,696 --> 00:01:00,597 ♪ Meet Rebecca ♪ 32 00:01:01,096 --> 00:01:03,930 ♪ She's too hard to summarize ♪ 33 00:01:03,999 --> 00:01:06,466 ♪ So let's go back to Other Rebecca. ♪ 34 00:01:07,131 --> 00:01:09,351 I'm dating my uncle. 35 00:01:09,375 --> 00:01:13,710 Subtitle sync and corrections by ChrisKe for www.addic7ed.com. 36 00:01:19,592 --> 00:01:22,804 _ 37 00:01:22,829 --> 00:01:24,818 - There it is. - _ 38 00:01:24,886 --> 00:01:27,459 "Woman Demands Three Simultaneous Partners, 39 00:01:27,484 --> 00:01:28,951 As Is Her Right." 40 00:01:29,019 --> 00:01:31,153 Classic SheSmash title. 41 00:01:32,946 --> 00:01:37,916 I will see you all at the same time, in my chambers. 42 00:01:37,941 --> 00:01:39,708 Do I have your consent? 43 00:01:40,500 --> 00:01:43,165 Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah. She's gonna get it, 44 00:01:43,234 --> 00:01:45,834 from three men at the same time... as is her right. 45 00:01:45,903 --> 00:01:50,606 I sentence you to pleasure, with no chance of early release. 46 00:01:50,631 --> 00:01:51,697 Oh, yeah. 47 00:01:52,406 --> 00:01:55,344 Your Honor, it would be my honor 48 00:01:55,369 --> 00:01:57,640 to get you off for good behavior. 49 00:01:57,665 --> 00:01:59,875 Let's review my penal code. 50 00:01:59,900 --> 00:02:03,051 Motion to proceed with my motion. 51 00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:06,321 Ooh, yeah. Ooh, this is gonna be great. 52 00:02:08,101 --> 00:02:11,026 You've broken up with me too many times. I'm done. 53 00:02:11,051 --> 00:02:13,384 I'm your ex-fiancé/roommate. 54 00:02:13,409 --> 00:02:15,176 And you stalked me. 55 00:02:15,201 --> 00:02:16,534 We could never be anything. 56 00:02:16,559 --> 00:02:18,171 You slept with my dad. 57 00:02:18,687 --> 00:02:20,179 There's no coming back from that. 58 00:02:20,250 --> 00:02:22,951 Okay, too complicated to fantasize about these guys. 59 00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:25,797 Should've clicked on lesbian sleepover instead. 60 00:02:25,822 --> 00:02:27,689 What? 61 00:02:29,893 --> 00:02:31,921 Tonight, on KPUX... 62 00:02:31,946 --> 00:02:34,362 ... feral cats are swarming the San Gabriel Valley. 63 00:02:34,431 --> 00:02:37,398 They look cute, but can be lethal. What you can do 64 00:02:37,423 --> 00:02:39,368 to protect your loved ones and domesticated animals 65 00:02:39,436 --> 00:02:41,936 from these ferocious felines, tonight at 10:00. 66 00:02:42,005 --> 00:02:43,638 I hate cats. 67 00:02:43,707 --> 00:02:45,406 Both the animal and the musical. 68 00:02:46,584 --> 00:02:47,890 This was a bust. 69 00:02:59,422 --> 00:03:01,356 ♪ ♪ 70 00:03:03,693 --> 00:03:06,094 ♪ When day is night ♪ 71 00:03:06,162 --> 00:03:08,451 ♪ And night is not day ♪ 72 00:03:08,476 --> 00:03:13,234 ♪ That's when the cats come out to play ♪ 73 00:03:13,303 --> 00:03:15,203 ♪ Yes, we are the feral cats ♪ 74 00:03:15,271 --> 00:03:17,739 ♪ Roaming West Covina's streets ♪ 75 00:03:17,807 --> 00:03:19,741 ♪ Singing songs about ourselves ♪ 76 00:03:19,809 --> 00:03:22,390 ♪ Over early '80s Broadway beats ♪ 77 00:03:29,860 --> 00:03:32,294 ♪ I am the Hungry Cat ♪ 78 00:03:32,489 --> 00:03:35,590 ♪ I haven't eaten in months ♪ 79 00:03:35,659 --> 00:03:37,560 ♪ I'm roaming through the streets ♪ 80 00:03:37,585 --> 00:03:41,344 ♪ Looking for something to munch ♪ 81 00:03:41,398 --> 00:03:43,831 ♪ I'm filled with desire ♪ 82 00:03:43,900 --> 00:03:45,733 ♪ I need to be fed ♪ 83 00:03:45,802 --> 00:03:48,202 ♪ Don't be mad if you find crumbs ♪ 84 00:03:48,271 --> 00:03:50,972 ♪ 'Cause I like to eat in bed ♪ 85 00:03:51,041 --> 00:03:54,175 ♪ I'm a lonely little kitty ♪ 86 00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:56,467 ♪ Stroke my fur, it's soft as silk ♪ 87 00:03:56,492 --> 00:03:59,554 ♪ Then bring me what I really want ♪ 88 00:03:59,579 --> 00:04:01,816 ♪ A saucer of your milk ♪ 89 00:04:01,885 --> 00:04:04,619 ♪ It's nibble time, Mister ♪ 90 00:04:04,688 --> 00:04:07,221 ♪ We don't need to chase or chat ♪ 91 00:04:07,290 --> 00:04:09,412 ♪ My cavity needs filling ♪ 92 00:04:09,437 --> 00:04:12,427 ♪ 'Cause I'm the Hungry ♪ 93 00:04:12,495 --> 00:04:14,262 ♪ Cat. ♪ 94 00:04:16,700 --> 00:04:18,866 That was so weird. 95 00:04:18,935 --> 00:04:20,535 What did that mean? 96 00:04:22,138 --> 00:04:23,671 I think you know. 97 00:04:27,277 --> 00:04:30,044 Oh, I need to get laid. 98 00:04:30,113 --> 00:04:32,146 Yeah. 99 00:04:32,215 --> 00:04:33,815 Hey, thanks for letting me 100 00:04:33,883 --> 00:04:35,528 crash at your place while I figure things out. 101 00:04:35,552 --> 00:04:38,086 It's a little awkward between me and my dad right now. 102 00:04:38,188 --> 00:04:39,587 Mm, yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. 103 00:04:39,656 --> 00:04:41,122 He slept with your ex-girlfriend. 104 00:04:41,191 --> 00:04:42,090 It's probably a little complicated. 105 00:04:42,158 --> 00:04:44,092 - Yeah. - Lt happens, I guess? 106 00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:46,461 No, it does not happen. People's dads do not go to bars 107 00:04:46,529 --> 00:04:47,895 and take their son's ex-girlfriend 108 00:04:47,964 --> 00:04:49,575 to their 50-and-over retirement community... 109 00:04:49,599 --> 00:04:51,510 Okay, no details, please. I don't like thinking about it. 110 00:04:51,534 --> 00:04:53,501 I'm trying hard to take the high road. 111 00:04:53,570 --> 00:04:56,037 I mean, intellectually, I understand how it happened. 112 00:04:56,106 --> 00:04:58,306 My dad and Rebecca were both at their lowest point. 113 00:04:58,374 --> 00:05:00,675 I mean, she tried to commit suicide and he hasn't had 114 00:05:00,744 --> 00:05:02,977 a drink since, but I just can't get past it. 115 00:05:03,046 --> 00:05:05,467 It's super gross and upsetting. 116 00:05:05,492 --> 00:05:06,758 Yeah, yeah. 117 00:05:06,783 --> 00:05:08,627 Well, at least you only have to get past it with him. 118 00:05:08,651 --> 00:05:12,019 You and Rebecca, that ship has sailed and sunk, right? 119 00:05:12,423 --> 00:05:15,030 - Right, right, right. Yeah, obviously. - You know what? 120 00:05:15,091 --> 00:05:17,558 You should do what I always do if I'm feeling sad 121 00:05:17,627 --> 00:05:20,661 or happy or confused or tired... 122 00:05:20,730 --> 00:05:22,396 - Work out? - Yeah. How did you know that? 123 00:05:22,465 --> 00:05:24,198 Uh, cause you work out constantly, 124 00:05:24,267 --> 00:05:25,800 and when you stir your coffee, 125 00:05:25,869 --> 00:05:27,468 about 80 different muscles ripple. 126 00:05:27,537 --> 00:05:29,170 Oh, thank you. Feels amazing. 127 00:05:29,239 --> 00:05:30,838 I can only imagine how good it looks. 128 00:05:30,907 --> 00:05:33,107 You know what? You want to work out, I will hook you up. 129 00:05:33,143 --> 00:05:35,009 I can get you a free one-month pass at my gym. 130 00:05:35,415 --> 00:05:37,044 Hmm. Not that generous an offer. 131 00:05:37,113 --> 00:05:39,291 There's literally a stack of one-month passes on the bar. 132 00:05:39,315 --> 00:05:40,715 You saw those. 133 00:05:42,318 --> 00:05:43,951 You know, spinning is the most 134 00:05:44,020 --> 00:05:45,197 efficient way to get in shape. 135 00:05:45,221 --> 00:05:46,966 It can burn up to a thousand calories per class. 136 00:05:46,990 --> 00:05:49,490 That's why I'm taking two classes a day. 137 00:05:49,559 --> 00:05:51,926 Two classes a day? That's a little extreme. 138 00:05:51,995 --> 00:05:54,162 Even I don't do two classes a day and look at me. 139 00:05:54,230 --> 00:05:56,230 I mean, look at me, I'm so good at spinning. 140 00:05:56,299 --> 00:05:58,599 I'm trying to tone up to get naked in front of strangers. 141 00:05:58,668 --> 00:06:00,601 - What? - I got to get laid 142 00:06:00,670 --> 00:06:02,270 by someone I haven't laid already. 143 00:06:02,372 --> 00:06:04,236 I got to stop thinking about my exes, 144 00:06:04,261 --> 00:06:05,973 move on from those same three people. 145 00:06:06,042 --> 00:06:07,308 Yeah, you need someone new. 146 00:06:07,377 --> 00:06:10,077 But please don't sleep with my dad, Rebecca. 147 00:06:10,102 --> 00:06:11,435 Eh. 148 00:06:11,548 --> 00:06:12,880 Seriously. I need you to say it. 149 00:06:12,949 --> 00:06:15,082 Okay, I won't sleep with Jorge. 150 00:06:15,195 --> 00:06:16,461 Even though he does have 151 00:06:16,486 --> 00:06:18,252 kind eyes and a beautiful corazón. 152 00:06:19,173 --> 00:06:20,955 I'm kidding. 153 00:06:21,024 --> 00:06:22,790 God, I'm so sweaty. 154 00:06:22,859 --> 00:06:24,379 Well, maybe that's because you work out 155 00:06:24,427 --> 00:06:27,128 in those cheap-ass heat-trapping synthetic leggings? 156 00:06:27,197 --> 00:06:28,641 Well, you know what? Spinning's expensive, 157 00:06:28,665 --> 00:06:30,998 and I've had a significant downgrade in income recently. 158 00:06:31,067 --> 00:06:32,333 Lawyer to pretzel maker. 159 00:06:32,402 --> 00:06:33,601 - Mm. - So I have to compromise. 160 00:06:33,670 --> 00:06:36,003 I got these babies three for five dollars. 161 00:06:36,072 --> 00:06:37,977 Anyway, back to sexy time. 162 00:06:38,002 --> 00:06:40,408 So I have the perfect clean slate sex candidate in mind: 163 00:06:40,443 --> 00:06:41,554 You remember that guy Jason? 164 00:06:41,578 --> 00:06:43,377 - I talked about him in New York? - The one who 165 00:06:43,402 --> 00:06:45,267 canceled on you last minute? That "I'm sick" excuse 166 00:06:45,292 --> 00:06:46,658 was clearly a lie. 167 00:06:46,683 --> 00:06:47,960 That's what I thought, too, but then, 168 00:06:47,984 --> 00:06:49,350 he's actually been texting me, 169 00:06:49,375 --> 00:06:51,535 - to try to prove he was sick. Look at this picture. - Ooh. 170 00:06:51,621 --> 00:06:55,323 Is that a selfie of him barfing? 171 00:06:55,391 --> 00:06:57,291 Yes. Yes, it is. And also, 172 00:06:57,316 --> 00:06:59,180 he sent me this one. 173 00:07:00,039 --> 00:07:02,373 Oh! That is several photos 174 00:07:02,398 --> 00:07:04,599 of him pooping in a public trash can. 175 00:07:04,624 --> 00:07:06,658 He was trying to prove to me that he wasn't lying. 176 00:07:06,683 --> 00:07:07,812 And when he sent me these pictures, 177 00:07:07,837 --> 00:07:09,637 he said "the proof is in the pudding." 178 00:07:09,706 --> 00:07:11,305 That's cute, right? 179 00:07:11,374 --> 00:07:13,341 We are such very, very different people. 180 00:07:13,409 --> 00:07:14,409 Oh... 181 00:07:14,444 --> 00:07:16,744 Jason, you are nice, and single, 182 00:07:16,813 --> 00:07:18,757 and I know from our first date with him a couple years ago 183 00:07:18,781 --> 00:07:19,881 that he's not a murderer. 184 00:07:19,992 --> 00:07:21,303 And that's what I'm looking for right now... 185 00:07:21,328 --> 00:07:23,595 not my exes, not a murderer. 186 00:07:23,620 --> 00:07:25,186 Okay. Let's go. 187 00:07:25,255 --> 00:07:27,266 You know what? Actually, I'm gonna stay for the next class. 188 00:07:27,290 --> 00:07:29,590 You know, these thighs are not gonna un-jiggle themselves. 189 00:07:29,659 --> 00:07:30,925 So watch out, Valencia. 190 00:07:30,994 --> 00:07:32,593 Rebecca's getting her mojo back. 191 00:07:32,662 --> 00:07:33,561 Meow. 192 00:07:33,630 --> 00:07:35,429 - Bye. - Bye. 193 00:07:37,567 --> 00:07:39,300 It's always hard to get the feet in right. 194 00:07:39,774 --> 00:07:42,072 Oh, hello. 195 00:07:44,107 --> 00:07:45,706 ♪ ♪ 196 00:07:48,845 --> 00:07:51,078 Hey, all. Guess who's back! 197 00:07:51,147 --> 00:07:54,582 Whoa. Why is the conference table out here? 198 00:07:54,651 --> 00:07:57,518 What happened? What, did some millennial start-up take over? 199 00:07:57,587 --> 00:07:58,686 Where is everyone? 200 00:07:59,989 --> 00:08:05,126 Oh, a party for me. Oh, you guys are too much. 201 00:08:05,194 --> 00:08:07,328 What a bunch of cuties. 202 00:08:09,666 --> 00:08:11,699 Aww, you guys... 203 00:08:11,768 --> 00:08:14,035 - Hey. - Hey. - How's the baby? 204 00:08:14,103 --> 00:08:15,214 - Welcome back. - Oh, she's good. 205 00:08:15,238 --> 00:08:16,959 Oh, look at all this. 206 00:08:16,984 --> 00:08:20,035 This is so nice. For me? 207 00:08:20,060 --> 00:08:22,243 - Well... - Um, actually... 208 00:08:22,268 --> 00:08:23,311 What's different about you? 209 00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:25,208 Why do you look weaker? 210 00:08:26,076 --> 00:08:29,050 Oh, I know, it's your 'stache. It's gone. 211 00:08:29,118 --> 00:08:30,217 Oh. 212 00:08:30,242 --> 00:08:31,875 Huh. Aww. 213 00:08:31,988 --> 00:08:33,421 I'm growing it back. 214 00:08:33,489 --> 00:08:35,423 I just had a little barbecue saucemergency. 215 00:08:35,448 --> 00:08:37,849 Or is it a barbecue saucetastrophe? 216 00:08:37,961 --> 00:08:40,044 - You mean a saucepocalypse? - Mm-hmm. 217 00:08:40,069 --> 00:08:41,162 - Shut your peach fuzz face, he's coming. - Oh! 218 00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:43,121 - Who's coming? - Shh! 219 00:08:44,367 --> 00:08:46,734 Happy Bert-day! 220 00:08:48,838 --> 00:08:50,671 Wow! Oh, my God. 221 00:08:50,740 --> 00:08:53,507 What? Bert-day? It's birthday. 222 00:08:53,532 --> 00:08:55,687 No, it's Bert-day. 223 00:08:55,712 --> 00:08:57,456 Why do you keep saying it like that? Are you a baby? 224 00:08:57,480 --> 00:09:02,650 No. And Bert-day is a party to celebrate Bert's work-a-versary. 225 00:09:02,675 --> 00:09:04,544 How nice for Bert. 226 00:09:04,569 --> 00:09:06,988 Wow. And look at that lustrous facial hair. 227 00:09:07,013 --> 00:09:09,867 Where'd you get that idea? 228 00:09:09,892 --> 00:09:11,492 From you, of course. 229 00:09:11,605 --> 00:09:14,277 Darryl, we are so happy to see you. 230 00:09:14,302 --> 00:09:16,437 I wish you would have told us that you were coming back today. 231 00:09:16,499 --> 00:09:17,765 We would've planned something. 232 00:09:17,834 --> 00:09:18,933 Oh, 233 00:09:18,958 --> 00:09:20,891 - that's so... - Oh, you guys, before I forget, 234 00:09:21,004 --> 00:09:24,282 since we have the new conference table, the old conference room 235 00:09:24,307 --> 00:09:26,440 is now gonna be the ping-pong room. 236 00:09:26,465 --> 00:09:27,485 What? 237 00:09:27,510 --> 00:09:28,587 You got us something on your day? 238 00:09:28,611 --> 00:09:30,177 The man just doesn't stop giving. 239 00:09:30,202 --> 00:09:31,846 - Yeah, it's fun. - Well, happy Bert-day. 240 00:09:31,871 --> 00:09:33,758 - Yeah, happy Bert-day. - Bert... 241 00:09:33,783 --> 00:09:35,182 Oh! Come on, you guys. 242 00:09:35,207 --> 00:09:37,274 - Oh. Sorry. - This is so sweet of you. 243 00:09:46,054 --> 00:09:47,320 You have a good day back? 244 00:09:48,163 --> 00:09:51,097 I'm nice now. I don't know if you heard that. 245 00:09:51,122 --> 00:09:53,000 It's a bummer you came on Bert-day. 246 00:09:53,025 --> 00:09:54,257 Yeah, I wish I had known. 247 00:09:54,414 --> 00:09:56,381 Kind of disappointing. But I'm okay. 248 00:09:56,950 --> 00:09:58,215 All right. Glad to hear it. 249 00:09:58,240 --> 00:10:00,874 I'm sorry, I got to run. I'm off to the gym. 250 00:10:02,529 --> 00:10:05,379 Did we do it? Do I need to keep talking to you here? 251 00:10:05,491 --> 00:10:06,924 I'm still adjusting to this whole 252 00:10:06,949 --> 00:10:08,749 being interested in others thing. 253 00:10:08,774 --> 00:10:10,374 - No, I'm fine. - Okay. 254 00:10:10,486 --> 00:10:12,586 - I'm fine. - All right. Okay. 255 00:10:12,698 --> 00:10:13,931 Enjoy the rest of Bert-day. 256 00:10:14,344 --> 00:10:16,154 Sorry. Reflex. 257 00:10:26,169 --> 00:10:27,535 All right, man, all right. 258 00:10:27,603 --> 00:10:30,571 - Here we go. - Okay. So I just pick these up and put them down 259 00:10:30,640 --> 00:10:33,574 and pick these up and put them down, and that's how it works? 260 00:10:33,651 --> 00:10:35,451 No sarcasm. Greg. It's a gym. 261 00:10:35,511 --> 00:10:36,989 No one will understand what you're saying. 262 00:10:37,013 --> 00:10:38,612 Okay. 263 00:10:38,681 --> 00:10:41,549 All right. I'm glad you took me up on my offer. 264 00:10:41,617 --> 00:10:43,762 The gym is a drama-free zone, so you're not gonna have to 265 00:10:43,786 --> 00:10:46,454 think about your dad or about Rebecca 266 00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:48,933 or your dad with Rebecca... Quick question... 267 00:10:48,958 --> 00:10:50,691 was the oxygen tank near the bed... 268 00:10:50,716 --> 00:10:52,127 Don't answer that, don't know why I asked. 269 00:10:52,195 --> 00:10:53,872 I'll see you at home. Have fun, don't get hurt. 270 00:10:53,896 --> 00:10:55,262 Okay, well, unless I find out 271 00:10:55,331 --> 00:10:56,897 you also slept with my dad, I'm fine. 272 00:10:56,966 --> 00:10:58,299 Oh, no. You heard? 273 00:10:58,685 --> 00:11:01,091 - Go away. Get out of here. - All right. See you later. 274 00:11:12,240 --> 00:11:13,414 Wait, no way. 275 00:11:13,483 --> 00:11:16,250 You like Space Jam? I loved Space Jam as a kid. 276 00:11:16,275 --> 00:11:18,296 Oh, I love it, too. MJ was my hero. 277 00:11:18,321 --> 00:11:20,921 In elementary school, I wore a Bulls hat every single day. 278 00:11:20,946 --> 00:11:22,872 He's the greatest player of all time. Sorry, LeBron. 279 00:11:22,897 --> 00:11:24,536 Yeah, I don't care about basketball, but I had 280 00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:26,093 such a crush on Marvin the Martian. 281 00:11:26,162 --> 00:11:27,754 I mean, a man who wears a skirt? 282 00:11:27,786 --> 00:11:30,146 Ugh, so secure, such a turn-on. 283 00:11:30,242 --> 00:11:32,009 You are such a weirdo. 284 00:11:32,034 --> 00:11:34,568 I'm the weirdo, trash can pooper? 285 00:11:34,593 --> 00:11:36,071 Hey, I got applause. There were a lot of people 286 00:11:36,096 --> 00:11:37,228 on the street that day. 287 00:11:42,810 --> 00:11:44,278 Are-are you okay? What's wrong? 288 00:11:44,347 --> 00:11:46,280 ♪ ♪ 289 00:11:49,021 --> 00:11:51,218 ♪ You thought you were done ♪ 290 00:11:51,287 --> 00:11:53,721 ♪ With our whispered cat verse ♪ 291 00:11:53,746 --> 00:11:55,813 ♪ But we're not done with you ♪ 292 00:11:55,838 --> 00:11:58,277 ♪ Now grab your purse. ♪ 293 00:11:58,346 --> 00:12:00,638 I just got to grab my purse and go to the bathroom. I'll be right back. 294 00:12:01,419 --> 00:12:02,474 Okay. 295 00:12:03,710 --> 00:12:06,177 Oh, oh, no... 296 00:12:06,202 --> 00:12:08,302 Oh, my God, what is wrong with me? 297 00:12:08,327 --> 00:12:10,615 Oh, you know what it is. 298 00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:13,274 Miss, can you spare a paw? 299 00:12:13,299 --> 00:12:15,044 You wore those cheap suffocating workout pants 300 00:12:15,111 --> 00:12:18,179 and made a cozy cul-de-sac for some yeast. 301 00:12:18,204 --> 00:12:19,303 Yeast? No, no, no, no. 302 00:12:19,328 --> 00:12:20,694 Not tonight, not tonight. Please. 303 00:12:20,850 --> 00:12:23,083 ♪ ♪ 304 00:12:23,458 --> 00:12:26,297 ♪ If you haven't guessed, I'm the Itchy Cat ♪ 305 00:12:26,366 --> 00:12:28,466 ♪ Need aloe or some Monistat ♪ 306 00:12:28,491 --> 00:12:30,357 ♪ Otherwise I'll stay and Moni-scat ♪ 307 00:12:30,382 --> 00:12:31,693 ♪ Scabbadoo, babadoo, skeedlelee ♪ 308 00:12:31,718 --> 00:12:34,118 ♪ Scratchy, scratchy scatty scratch ♪ 309 00:12:34,230 --> 00:12:36,030 ♪ You wore those cheap, old shoddy pants ♪ 310 00:12:36,098 --> 00:12:38,332 ♪ Now I'm doing an experimental itchy dance ♪ 311 00:12:38,401 --> 00:12:40,167 ♪ I have to hide myself away ♪ 312 00:12:40,236 --> 00:12:42,169 ♪ This feline can't come out to play ♪ 313 00:12:42,271 --> 00:12:44,738 ♪ So get me some lotion potion stat ♪ 314 00:12:44,807 --> 00:12:46,907 ♪ To scratch this scratchy scatty cat ♪ 315 00:12:46,976 --> 00:12:49,777 ♪ This itchy scratchy scatty cat ♪ 316 00:12:49,845 --> 00:12:51,879 ♪ Get that dissolving egg that runs ♪ 317 00:12:51,948 --> 00:12:53,547 ♪ Down your leg so I can stop ♪ 318 00:12:53,616 --> 00:12:55,549 ♪ Being the Itchy Cat. ♪ 319 00:12:55,618 --> 00:12:57,418 Go away, Itchy Cat. Scram! 320 00:12:57,486 --> 00:13:00,254 Stop ruining my vagina like you ruined musicals! 321 00:13:03,259 --> 00:13:04,625 Thank you. 322 00:13:05,665 --> 00:13:08,028 Oh, but I want to have sex. 323 00:13:08,097 --> 00:13:10,931 This sucks more than the song about what makes a Jellicle cat 324 00:13:10,956 --> 00:13:13,790 and then it just goes on to describe literally any cat. 325 00:13:27,064 --> 00:13:28,039 You need the 40s? 326 00:13:28,064 --> 00:13:30,187 Oh, no, I'm not gonna need those because I can't lift them 327 00:13:30,212 --> 00:13:31,345 'cause they're too heavy. 328 00:13:31,414 --> 00:13:33,347 You just getting back into it? 329 00:13:33,416 --> 00:13:36,016 Uh, yeah, I used to be way into gym, but only gym class, 330 00:13:36,085 --> 00:13:37,718 and only on badminton day. 331 00:13:37,787 --> 00:13:39,197 Well, good on you for, uh, hitting the gym again. 332 00:13:39,221 --> 00:13:40,487 You know what they say. 333 00:13:40,556 --> 00:13:42,890 The road to fitness is one pound at a time. 334 00:13:42,915 --> 00:13:44,672 Hmm. But don't use the one-pound weights. 335 00:13:44,697 --> 00:13:46,630 You'll embarrass yourself. 336 00:13:46,655 --> 00:13:48,588 - I'm Nathaniel. - Oh. Greg. 337 00:13:48,701 --> 00:13:49,821 - That's gross. - Yeah, sweaty. 338 00:13:49,869 --> 00:13:51,402 - Why did we do that? - I'm not sure. 339 00:13:51,427 --> 00:13:52,806 All right. 340 00:13:52,831 --> 00:13:53,930 Okay. 341 00:14:03,079 --> 00:14:05,720 I'm so sorry. While I was in there, 342 00:14:05,745 --> 00:14:09,179 I checked my calendar and I totally forgot 343 00:14:09,204 --> 00:14:10,637 that I have a business trip tomorrow 344 00:14:10,662 --> 00:14:11,928 and my flight leaves 345 00:14:11,953 --> 00:14:13,119 uh, super early. 346 00:14:13,144 --> 00:14:15,436 Huh. What kind of business trip 347 00:14:15,461 --> 00:14:16,727 do you have in the pretzel biz? 348 00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:20,399 I got to go see my salt man... in Idaho. 349 00:14:21,300 --> 00:14:22,649 Idaho. 350 00:14:22,674 --> 00:14:24,479 Yeah, well, 'cause of the potatoes. 351 00:14:24,504 --> 00:14:26,892 That's also where a lot of salt is centered. 352 00:14:26,939 --> 00:14:28,872 Oh. I get it. 353 00:14:28,897 --> 00:14:30,241 Oh, no. I know it seems like I'm lying. 354 00:14:30,266 --> 00:14:32,666 - It does. It really, really does. - I'm really not, though. 355 00:14:32,691 --> 00:14:35,125 Look, um... three days. Just, 356 00:14:35,150 --> 00:14:36,766 let's set another date in three days. 357 00:14:36,791 --> 00:14:37,991 I'm sure that's all it'll take 358 00:14:38,016 --> 00:14:41,418 to clear up my... my salty business. Sound good? 359 00:14:41,487 --> 00:14:45,311 - Great. It's a date. - Great. 360 00:14:53,165 --> 00:14:55,031 Hey, Maya. 361 00:14:55,100 --> 00:14:56,733 How you doin', girl? 362 00:14:56,802 --> 00:14:59,135 Oh, you know me, Just living. 363 00:14:59,204 --> 00:15:01,738 What do you say we hit Spice Girls karaoke 364 00:15:01,807 --> 00:15:03,373 this Saturday? 365 00:15:03,442 --> 00:15:05,575 I finally memorized the rap in "Wannabe." 366 00:15:05,644 --> 00:15:07,322 I just listened to it while I was sleeping. 367 00:15:07,346 --> 00:15:09,548 Oh, D-Money, this Saturday? 368 00:15:09,573 --> 00:15:10,703 What, are you busy? 369 00:15:10,816 --> 00:15:11,982 Maya, 370 00:15:12,007 --> 00:15:13,774 I got that Rioja from "Ethpaña" 371 00:15:13,799 --> 00:15:16,699 you wanted for Wine with Whine dinner on Saturday. 372 00:15:16,724 --> 00:15:17,857 - Oh! - Wine with what? 373 00:15:18,056 --> 00:15:19,890 Our Wine with Whine dinner. 374 00:15:19,958 --> 00:15:22,893 It's a weekly thing where we get together, drink delicious vino 375 00:15:22,918 --> 00:15:25,105 and talk openly about our work frustrations 376 00:15:25,130 --> 00:15:27,657 in front of our super supportive superior, Bert. 377 00:15:28,283 --> 00:15:31,545 I wanted to call it Sipping With Your Super Supportive Superior 378 00:15:31,570 --> 00:15:33,937 Saturday Soiree, but Paula punched me. 379 00:15:33,962 --> 00:15:36,429 But Maya, if you do it every week, you could skip it once 380 00:15:36,454 --> 00:15:38,654 to hang with your good buddy Darryl. 381 00:15:38,854 --> 00:15:40,654 Bert, you wouldn't mind, would you? 382 00:15:40,679 --> 00:15:41,945 Well, it's not up to me. 383 00:15:41,970 --> 00:15:43,536 It's up to this young lady right here. 384 00:15:43,561 --> 00:15:44,938 And I think she's old enough to choose 385 00:15:44,963 --> 00:15:46,930 who she wants to spend her weekends with. 386 00:15:47,119 --> 00:15:48,184 Come on, M-Dog. 387 00:15:48,209 --> 00:15:50,676 - What do you say? - No pressure. 388 00:15:52,657 --> 00:15:53,857 Uh, 389 00:15:53,882 --> 00:15:55,815 - uh... - Come on. 390 00:15:58,649 --> 00:16:01,018 I don't want to disappoint either of you. 391 00:16:01,043 --> 00:16:03,310 But I do love Spice Girls karaoke night, 392 00:16:03,335 --> 00:16:06,036 and I kill that Ginger Spice solo in "2 Become 1." 393 00:16:06,061 --> 00:16:09,082 But this week has been Maj, and I really need my Whine time. 394 00:16:09,151 --> 00:16:11,051 I got to go with Bert and his Rioja. 395 00:16:11,076 --> 00:16:12,442 I'm so sorry. 396 00:16:12,511 --> 00:16:14,511 Oh. Okay. No, that's totally fine. 397 00:16:14,536 --> 00:16:15,968 I get it. I totally... 398 00:16:15,993 --> 00:16:17,626 I... 399 00:16:17,651 --> 00:16:19,184 - Is it true? - Oh, it's fantastic. 400 00:16:19,209 --> 00:16:20,909 It's a 2015... 401 00:16:24,790 --> 00:16:26,489 Ooh, it burns, it burns, burns... 402 00:16:26,602 --> 00:16:28,502 Ah... 403 00:16:28,527 --> 00:16:30,293 Got it! 404 00:16:32,397 --> 00:16:34,965 Oh, thank you for going to the drugstore for me. 405 00:16:34,990 --> 00:16:36,434 I'm so uncomfortable, I can barely walk. 406 00:16:36,459 --> 00:16:38,760 It's just chafe, chafe, burn, burn. 407 00:16:38,785 --> 00:16:40,719 It's no problem. I used to get this for Valencia. 408 00:16:40,744 --> 00:16:42,388 She said it was hand cream, but I have two sisters, 409 00:16:42,413 --> 00:16:43,746 I know it's for foot fungus. 410 00:16:44,767 --> 00:16:46,443 Yeah. E-Exactly. 411 00:16:46,511 --> 00:16:48,745 My feet are so gross right now. 412 00:16:48,770 --> 00:16:51,142 That's why I'm, uh, wearing socks. 413 00:16:54,267 --> 00:16:56,909 All right, "results in one to seven days"? 414 00:16:56,955 --> 00:16:58,555 No, no, no, no. My date's in three days. 415 00:16:58,624 --> 00:17:01,220 I need my... piggies to be all healed up by then. 416 00:17:01,245 --> 00:17:02,804 You know what I do when I get athlete's foot 417 00:17:02,828 --> 00:17:04,305 is I double down on the healing treatments 418 00:17:04,329 --> 00:17:05,695 so I can get back to karate. 419 00:17:05,764 --> 00:17:07,931 I spray, I soak, I powder, I sun. 420 00:17:08,044 --> 00:17:09,443 Well, the sun part's just because 421 00:17:09,468 --> 00:17:11,201 I like how my feet look tan. 422 00:17:11,269 --> 00:17:13,603 Double down. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. 423 00:17:13,628 --> 00:17:15,728 Can you go get me another box of this? 424 00:17:15,753 --> 00:17:18,017 - Sure. - Great. 425 00:17:20,188 --> 00:17:23,213 Oh, God, that tastes like chalky metal sand. 426 00:17:23,899 --> 00:17:25,882 Thanks for buying it for me, I guess? 427 00:17:25,951 --> 00:17:28,656 Well, thanks for spotting me. I mean, you did drop the bar 428 00:17:28,681 --> 00:17:30,954 on my chest a couple times, but you're-you're getting better. 429 00:17:30,979 --> 00:17:32,634 Yeah, I got to say, this whole working out thing's 430 00:17:32,658 --> 00:17:34,190 actually making me feel a lot better. 431 00:17:34,215 --> 00:17:36,436 About what? What's your damage, anyway? 432 00:17:36,461 --> 00:17:38,773 I mean, clearly you want to talk about it and I'm nice now, 433 00:17:38,797 --> 00:17:40,993 so what's the matter? 434 00:17:41,018 --> 00:17:42,866 It's actually... it's a long story. 435 00:17:42,934 --> 00:17:45,035 I-I had a weird thing happen with an ex. 436 00:17:45,103 --> 00:17:46,636 You did? So did I. 437 00:17:46,705 --> 00:17:51,574 I mean, I don't know if mine was weird as much as... devastating. 438 00:17:51,643 --> 00:17:53,443 Oh, no, mine was that, too. 439 00:17:53,746 --> 00:17:54,945 God. Women. 440 00:17:54,970 --> 00:17:57,924 Can't... say adages about them anymore. 441 00:17:57,949 --> 00:17:59,215 No, you can't. Yeah. 442 00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:01,540 - All right. See you. - All right. Take care. 443 00:18:05,712 --> 00:18:08,058 Hey. Look at you, a regular gym rat now. 444 00:18:08,126 --> 00:18:10,126 Yeah, I don't even know how you could recognize me. 445 00:18:10,162 --> 00:18:11,327 I'm so damn fit. 446 00:18:11,396 --> 00:18:12,796 Hey, I'm kind of digging 447 00:18:12,864 --> 00:18:15,265 this gym thing, and I think I actually met a new friend. 448 00:18:15,290 --> 00:18:18,178 What? Come on. See, gyms are great. 449 00:18:18,203 --> 00:18:19,681 Although do wash your hands frequently 450 00:18:19,705 --> 00:18:20,970 and don't touch your face. 451 00:18:20,995 --> 00:18:22,862 Someone died from a staph infection last year. 452 00:18:23,603 --> 00:18:25,687 Danny, engage your core! 453 00:18:25,712 --> 00:18:27,829 You know what? What are you doing? Stop it, stop it. 454 00:18:28,413 --> 00:18:30,058 - Oh... - Did I leave my towel out here? 455 00:18:30,082 --> 00:18:31,936 Oh, yeah. It's right here, bud. 456 00:18:31,961 --> 00:18:34,587 Oh, no, Danny. This is bad. 457 00:18:34,612 --> 00:18:36,713 - All right, leg day tomorrow? - Yeah. Ready to do it. 458 00:18:36,755 --> 00:18:39,075 Well, we'll see you then. I'm still sore from the other day. 459 00:18:40,048 --> 00:18:41,424 See my new friend? 460 00:18:41,449 --> 00:18:43,916 Huh? What? No. Nope. 461 00:18:44,072 --> 00:18:46,339 Me, Greg, I made a new friend in town. 462 00:18:46,364 --> 00:18:48,164 I haven't done that since kindergarten. 463 00:18:48,233 --> 00:18:49,385 - Yeah. - And it's all 464 00:18:49,410 --> 00:18:51,144 - because of you. - Awesome. 465 00:18:53,456 --> 00:18:54,889 Oh, no. What have I done? 466 00:18:57,376 --> 00:19:00,296 Oh, God. Look at them. 467 00:19:00,321 --> 00:19:02,221 What is the big deal about this friendship? 468 00:19:02,330 --> 00:19:04,163 You haven't stopped talking about it for days. 469 00:19:04,216 --> 00:19:06,494 You don't understand. Nathaniel just became a nice person. 470 00:19:06,518 --> 00:19:08,430 This could push him straight back to doucheville. 471 00:19:08,454 --> 00:19:12,476 And Greg is sober now and is very fragile 472 00:19:12,501 --> 00:19:14,178 after the whole Rebecca with his dad thing. 473 00:19:14,202 --> 00:19:16,002 It's so hard for both of them 474 00:19:16,027 --> 00:19:17,960 to make new guy friends. 475 00:19:18,073 --> 00:19:20,340 Straight people are so tragic. 476 00:19:20,365 --> 00:19:22,232 Babe, just introduce them. 477 00:19:22,344 --> 00:19:24,043 They're adults, they'll understand. 478 00:19:24,112 --> 00:19:25,945 I know I should, but I can't. 479 00:19:26,014 --> 00:19:27,845 Look at them, they're so happy together. 480 00:19:27,870 --> 00:19:30,427 Oh, God, they just think they're regular friends. 481 00:19:30,452 --> 00:19:32,634 I can't, I can't do it. I can't do anything. 482 00:19:32,659 --> 00:19:34,664 All I can do is just stand here, 483 00:19:34,689 --> 00:19:37,290 watching two trains slowly collide. 484 00:19:40,829 --> 00:19:43,368 Mm. Looks nice in here. 485 00:19:44,060 --> 00:19:45,827 Yeah. Jason's picking me up, 486 00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:47,586 so I want the place to look nice and tidy. 487 00:19:47,611 --> 00:19:51,137 Here you go, baby. Got you some nice organic cotton leggings. 488 00:19:51,162 --> 00:19:52,428 Try those next time. 489 00:19:52,541 --> 00:19:54,152 - Thank you. - You feeling any better down there? 490 00:19:54,176 --> 00:19:56,442 So much. I was in such a hurry to get better, 491 00:19:56,467 --> 00:19:58,434 I kind of blitzkrieged the entire infection. 492 00:19:58,459 --> 00:20:00,142 Mm-hmm. So not only did double ointment, 493 00:20:00,181 --> 00:20:01,616 but I also did some home remedies 494 00:20:01,641 --> 00:20:02,884 like an apple cider vinegar bath, 495 00:20:02,909 --> 00:20:04,861 I took the strongest pro-biotic I could find, 496 00:20:04,886 --> 00:20:07,487 plus, I took an old antibiotic from a sinus infection 497 00:20:07,512 --> 00:20:08,978 - just in case. - That's a lot. 498 00:20:09,003 --> 00:20:11,137 Yeah, so the itch is now gone. 499 00:20:11,293 --> 00:20:12,725 Oh, and I'm feeling so good. 500 00:20:12,750 --> 00:20:14,230 I'm really excited to sleep with Jason 501 00:20:14,255 --> 00:20:16,355 - and stop thinking about my exes, you know? - Mm-hmm. 502 00:20:20,402 --> 00:20:21,968 See? I feel nothing. 503 00:20:30,276 --> 00:20:32,009 Hey, V. 504 00:20:34,416 --> 00:20:36,681 Okay, I did feel a little twinge of something on that. 505 00:20:36,706 --> 00:20:40,353 Oh, yeah, I felt it, too. He's still Josh, but he fine. 506 00:20:40,378 --> 00:20:42,812 Mm, you're right. You're right. 507 00:20:42,837 --> 00:20:46,773 Ugh, this underwear keeps messing up the line of my dress. 508 00:20:47,286 --> 00:20:48,665 You know what? 509 00:20:48,978 --> 00:20:51,103 What are you doing? I'm not gonna be wearing the dress for that long. 510 00:20:51,128 --> 00:20:52,227 Might as well, right? 511 00:20:54,993 --> 00:20:57,649 - Girl, no. - What's wrong? 512 00:20:57,684 --> 00:20:59,478 You need to ask yourself that. 513 00:20:59,503 --> 00:21:03,126 There is a terrible smell. 514 00:21:03,151 --> 00:21:04,450 And... 515 00:21:04,475 --> 00:21:06,723 Put 'em back on, put the panties back on. Now, now, now! 516 00:21:06,748 --> 00:21:07,626 Okay. 517 00:21:07,651 --> 00:21:09,217 - Oh, no. - Mm-hmm. 518 00:21:09,611 --> 00:21:11,077 - Oh, I smell it, too. - Yep. 519 00:21:11,102 --> 00:21:12,569 Oh, that's... Oh, that's bad. 520 00:21:12,687 --> 00:21:14,587 It smells worse than the wedged-in plot device 521 00:21:14,612 --> 00:21:16,190 of the Heaviside Layer. 522 00:21:16,215 --> 00:21:18,315 Ju... Uh, coming, Jason. 523 00:21:20,028 --> 00:21:21,527 Oh. I thought you said, 524 00:21:21,552 --> 00:21:23,752 "Come in, Jason." 525 00:21:23,777 --> 00:21:24,841 Maybe he won't notice. 526 00:21:24,866 --> 00:21:27,233 Wow, you look beautiful. 527 00:21:27,258 --> 00:21:29,191 Oh, my God, thank you. 528 00:21:29,304 --> 00:21:31,204 Oh. I thought we were going out for dinner. 529 00:21:31,229 --> 00:21:33,128 Did you make a tuna casserole? 530 00:21:33,446 --> 00:21:35,975 Maybe. I-I'm just gonna go to the bathroom. 531 00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:37,444 Valencia, will you please entertain my guest 532 00:21:37,469 --> 00:21:39,109 and maybe open some windows? Okay, thanks. 533 00:21:45,657 --> 00:21:49,122 ♪ Oh! What is that smell? ♪ 534 00:21:49,190 --> 00:21:50,590 ♪ Seems like ♪ 535 00:21:50,615 --> 00:21:52,615 ♪ Something funky's going on ♪ 536 00:21:53,929 --> 00:21:55,962 ♪ Well, I'm the Funky Cat ♪ 537 00:21:55,987 --> 00:21:58,053 ♪ And I appear ♪ 538 00:21:58,078 --> 00:22:00,579 ♪ When something funky's ♪ 539 00:22:00,604 --> 00:22:02,879 ♪ Going on around here, yes ♪ 540 00:22:02,904 --> 00:22:04,899 ♪ Something funky's ♪ 541 00:22:04,924 --> 00:22:06,373 ♪ In the air ♪ 542 00:22:06,398 --> 00:22:08,865 ♪ More specifically, it's coming from ♪ 543 00:22:09,411 --> 00:22:10,899 ♪ Right there ♪ 544 00:22:10,924 --> 00:22:13,758 ♪ I know all the funkiest ♪ 545 00:22:13,783 --> 00:22:14,949 ♪ Party spots ♪ 546 00:22:15,216 --> 00:22:17,116 ♪ I may be cool ♪ 547 00:22:17,141 --> 00:22:19,808 ♪ But I'm burning hot ♪ 548 00:22:19,967 --> 00:22:22,001 ♪ Funky cat ♪ 549 00:22:22,026 --> 00:22:23,893 ♪ Is all the rage ♪ 550 00:22:24,326 --> 00:22:27,907 ♪ When something's off with your pH ♪ 551 00:22:27,932 --> 00:22:30,478 ♪ Yeah, I'm having fun ♪ 552 00:22:30,503 --> 00:22:32,509 ♪ I'm living large ♪ 553 00:22:32,534 --> 00:22:34,567 ♪ Just oozing sex ♪ 554 00:22:34,592 --> 00:22:36,625 ♪ And green discharge ♪ 555 00:22:36,650 --> 00:22:38,483 ♪ I dance now ♪ 556 00:22:40,433 --> 00:22:42,063 Ha! Ha! 557 00:22:45,346 --> 00:22:47,246 ♪ Well if you don't like ♪ 558 00:22:47,267 --> 00:22:49,134 ♪ The smell of me ♪ 559 00:22:49,203 --> 00:22:51,636 ♪ You better get to a doctor ♪ 560 00:22:51,705 --> 00:22:54,039 ♪ On the count of three ♪ 561 00:22:54,064 --> 00:22:56,085 ♪ One, two ♪ 562 00:22:56,110 --> 00:22:58,477 ♪ Three... Funky Cat. ♪ 563 00:22:58,589 --> 00:23:01,457 Hmm. Did she pan-fry some trout? 564 00:23:01,482 --> 00:23:03,081 Is-is that what it is? 565 00:23:04,009 --> 00:23:05,717 No, it's not a river fish. 566 00:23:05,829 --> 00:23:07,429 Can't put my finger on it. 567 00:23:07,672 --> 00:23:08,805 Nor should you. 568 00:23:11,985 --> 00:23:13,478 If everyone could just listen for a second. 569 00:23:13,503 --> 00:23:14,803 It's my time to whine. 570 00:23:14,828 --> 00:23:16,495 So, what people don't understand is, 571 00:23:16,563 --> 00:23:18,263 I have very sensitive finger skin. 572 00:23:18,332 --> 00:23:19,609 - Oh. - So, when I'm filing documents... 573 00:23:19,633 --> 00:23:21,882 I'm very often filing documents... 574 00:23:21,907 --> 00:23:23,257 It's a bloody mess. 575 00:23:23,282 --> 00:23:25,679 But then, I'm told by Paula 576 00:23:25,704 --> 00:23:29,017 that wearing gloves to file is "weird." 577 00:23:29,042 --> 00:23:31,171 No, no, no. I never said that. 578 00:23:31,196 --> 00:23:33,243 I said it was "creepy." 579 00:23:33,475 --> 00:23:35,357 Then I asked if you were gonna murder the papers 580 00:23:35,382 --> 00:23:37,115 because you looked like a serial killer. 581 00:23:37,183 --> 00:23:38,794 - You were just... He... No, he was spurting blood - Oh... 582 00:23:38,819 --> 00:23:39,985 all over the briefs. 583 00:23:40,053 --> 00:23:41,987 - Spurt? - George, if you'd like gloves, 584 00:23:42,055 --> 00:23:43,655 I'll provide them and Paula, you can pick 585 00:23:43,690 --> 00:23:46,258 a color that you find festive and comforting. 586 00:23:46,326 --> 00:23:48,026 Fuchsia gloves for George. 587 00:23:48,095 --> 00:23:49,795 Hooray! Thank you, Bert. 588 00:23:49,863 --> 00:23:51,930 - Cheers, everyone. - Cheers. 589 00:23:51,999 --> 00:23:55,367 Oh, hey, guys. I know you're having an event. 590 00:23:55,436 --> 00:23:58,640 I just came by with a little something for everyone. 591 00:23:58,665 --> 00:24:00,312 Okay, here we go, rapid fire. 592 00:24:00,337 --> 00:24:02,607 Maya, rainbow eye shadow palette. 593 00:24:02,720 --> 00:24:05,554 Jim, electronic drum pad. 594 00:24:05,623 --> 00:24:09,158 George, hot water bottle shaped like a '40s pinup. 595 00:24:09,183 --> 00:24:11,640 Paula, lightweight merino shawl 596 00:24:11,665 --> 00:24:13,385 embroidered with butterflies. 597 00:24:13,454 --> 00:24:15,515 - Oh! - And Bert... 598 00:24:15,540 --> 00:24:16,721 I got you dirt. 599 00:24:16,798 --> 00:24:20,484 It's like a pet rock, but it's dirt. Get it? 600 00:24:20,516 --> 00:24:22,568 Wow, thank you, Darryl. I was looking for 601 00:24:22,629 --> 00:24:24,445 a playmate for my pet sand. 602 00:24:24,470 --> 00:24:26,486 - Oh. - Great, Darryl. Thanks. But I've been 603 00:24:26,511 --> 00:24:28,110 sitting on my whine all night. 604 00:24:28,135 --> 00:24:29,734 I don't like the sandwich guy. 605 00:24:29,803 --> 00:24:31,320 Bread is wet, 606 00:24:31,345 --> 00:24:33,012 everything has mayo, which is basically 607 00:24:33,037 --> 00:24:34,757 chicken embryo mucus mixed with oil. 608 00:24:34,782 --> 00:24:38,150 I hear you, I understand, and aioli want to help. 609 00:24:38,219 --> 00:24:39,485 - Oh! - Oh, good one, boss! 610 00:24:40,888 --> 00:24:43,155 Ah, yeah, but what about the presents? 611 00:24:43,180 --> 00:24:44,457 - We know what's inside. - No, we know what's in it. 612 00:24:44,482 --> 00:24:45,668 Okay, okay. Um, uh... 613 00:24:46,170 --> 00:24:47,703 How about this? I'm taking... 614 00:24:47,860 --> 00:24:50,496 everyone to Disneyland! Right now. 615 00:24:50,565 --> 00:24:51,608 Except for Bert, of course. 616 00:24:51,632 --> 00:24:52,976 You can eat ice cream, you can stay up 617 00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:55,000 as late as you want, I'll buy you any toy you want. 618 00:24:55,025 --> 00:24:56,846 No, a toy? Please. 619 00:24:56,871 --> 00:24:58,537 We are not children. 620 00:24:58,606 --> 00:25:01,073 - Although I would love a Moana, actually. - Oh? 621 00:25:01,098 --> 00:25:03,398 She is gonna make such an amazing chief someday. 622 00:25:03,423 --> 00:25:04,822 So, guys, come on. Come with me. 623 00:25:04,979 --> 00:25:06,078 - Darryl. - Hmm? 624 00:25:06,147 --> 00:25:08,214 This is my event and we're not done. 625 00:25:08,326 --> 00:25:09,959 Maybe you can wait until 626 00:25:09,984 --> 00:25:11,617 it's your time. This is my time. 627 00:25:11,642 --> 00:25:14,609 Trigger alert. 628 00:25:14,722 --> 00:25:16,322 I know what's going on here. 629 00:25:16,390 --> 00:25:18,090 My parents are divorced and I was often 630 00:25:18,115 --> 00:25:19,781 a pawn in their conflict and it was... 631 00:25:19,894 --> 00:25:21,238 sometimes kind of nice, 632 00:25:21,262 --> 00:25:23,243 because I got everything I ever wanted. 633 00:25:24,532 --> 00:25:25,865 But nothing I needed. 634 00:25:25,890 --> 00:25:27,800 He's right. 635 00:25:27,869 --> 00:25:29,535 Let's not fight over these folks. 636 00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:32,712 These are good people and they can care about both of us. 637 00:25:32,984 --> 00:25:35,251 Let's not force them to make a choice. 638 00:25:35,790 --> 00:25:37,376 Good point. 639 00:25:38,103 --> 00:25:39,689 Him? Disneyland? 640 00:25:40,181 --> 00:25:42,281 - Well, it's an unfair one. - Yeah, you know. - Oh, come on. 641 00:25:42,350 --> 00:25:43,331 Got to go see the mouse. 642 00:25:43,356 --> 00:25:45,275 Will you get on the Impossibles coaster? 643 00:25:45,319 --> 00:25:46,697 We need to go in one car, though. 644 00:25:46,721 --> 00:25:48,298 - My car is waiting right outside. - It's outside? 645 00:25:48,322 --> 00:25:49,007 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 646 00:25:49,032 --> 00:25:50,267 Oh, I can't wait for some Mickey ears. 647 00:25:50,292 --> 00:25:51,954 I'm sorry, B-Dog. 648 00:25:52,660 --> 00:25:56,129 Call him a cute nickname again and no turkey legs for you. 649 00:26:00,746 --> 00:26:02,779 Tonight I am alone. 650 00:26:03,043 --> 00:26:05,259 Esta noche estoy solo. 651 00:26:12,235 --> 00:26:14,023 Sorry, I'm not feeling well. 652 00:26:14,048 --> 00:26:15,781 Valencia, can you show Jason out, please?! 653 00:26:15,893 --> 00:26:18,060 - All right, it's time to move on. - Wait, uh... Whoa. 654 00:26:18,085 --> 00:26:20,219 - It's now that you're leaving. - What? 655 00:26:20,853 --> 00:26:22,087 Bye! 656 00:26:22,156 --> 00:26:23,422 What about our date? 657 00:26:25,634 --> 00:26:28,761 Oh, Valencia. 658 00:26:28,829 --> 00:26:30,429 The cats are killing me. 659 00:26:30,622 --> 00:26:32,021 Which cats? 660 00:26:32,898 --> 00:26:34,832 Funky! 661 00:26:42,064 --> 00:26:43,497 So what do you do? 662 00:26:43,566 --> 00:26:45,265 Well, I'm about to finish business school, 663 00:26:45,334 --> 00:26:46,633 but I'm, uh, I'm actually... 664 00:26:46,702 --> 00:26:48,836 You know, I had this crazy idea... 665 00:26:48,904 --> 00:26:50,504 Never even really told anyone... 666 00:26:50,573 --> 00:26:53,574 But my dad used to have this restaurant out by the freeway 667 00:26:53,642 --> 00:26:55,042 and I'm thinking about re-opening it 668 00:26:55,111 --> 00:26:56,688 as my thesis project. 669 00:26:57,146 --> 00:26:59,613 It was this great local Italian restaurant 670 00:26:59,638 --> 00:27:01,304 and it got overrun by all these chains, 671 00:27:01,329 --> 00:27:03,829 - so I think it'd be cool to revive it. - Totally. 672 00:27:03,986 --> 00:27:05,226 What are you doing? Oh, my God! 673 00:27:05,287 --> 00:27:06,954 You scared me. 674 00:27:07,067 --> 00:27:09,300 Snuck up on me there. 675 00:27:09,325 --> 00:27:11,403 Just keeping an eye out. Still very casual, don't worry. 676 00:27:11,427 --> 00:27:14,313 Oh, I'm not worried at all. Except about you. 677 00:27:15,131 --> 00:27:16,663 Be nice to have an Italian restaurant. 678 00:27:16,732 --> 00:27:18,198 Yeah. We still own the building, 679 00:27:18,267 --> 00:27:19,988 but we can never sell it or re-open it 680 00:27:20,013 --> 00:27:21,712 because of all these new zoning laws. 681 00:27:21,737 --> 00:27:23,782 I don't even know where to start with addressing that. 682 00:27:23,806 --> 00:27:26,927 Dude. I could totally help you. I'm real estate lawyer. 683 00:27:26,952 --> 00:27:28,919 I eat local zoning restrictions for lunch. 684 00:27:28,944 --> 00:27:30,835 Really? You would help me? 685 00:27:30,860 --> 00:27:33,247 I mean, how much do you cost, though? You seem expensive. 686 00:27:33,358 --> 00:27:36,827 I am. But lucky for you, I've recently become a nice person, 687 00:27:36,852 --> 00:27:39,386 so... I'm easy. Just buy me a beer. 688 00:27:39,774 --> 00:27:40,774 Okay. 689 00:27:41,590 --> 00:27:44,725 Oh, okay. Okay, they're going into business together. 690 00:27:44,794 --> 00:27:45,959 That's fine, that's fine. 691 00:27:46,028 --> 00:27:47,606 That's... fine. Nothing bad can happen there. 692 00:27:47,674 --> 00:27:50,074 Okay, I'm gonna tell 'em. I'm gonna walk right up to 'em. 693 00:27:50,099 --> 00:27:52,244 I'm gonna rip the Band-Aid off, I'm gonna tell 'em the truth. 694 00:27:52,268 --> 00:27:53,801 We're all gonna laugh about this. 695 00:27:53,869 --> 00:27:55,480 Gonna be hilarious, we're all... we'll-we'll laugh. 696 00:27:55,504 --> 00:27:56,637 Good, I'm glad. 697 00:27:56,662 --> 00:27:57,806 Okay. 698 00:27:58,541 --> 00:28:00,641 Where are they? Where did they go? 699 00:28:00,786 --> 00:28:02,486 Do you think they left together? 700 00:28:02,511 --> 00:28:04,322 At least I have the right medicine now. 701 00:28:04,346 --> 00:28:06,233 I think I scared away Jason forever, though. 702 00:28:06,258 --> 00:28:08,125 Girl, you almost scared me away forever. 703 00:28:08,407 --> 00:28:11,518 It's such a bummer. Jason was so nice. I really liked him. 704 00:28:11,674 --> 00:28:13,274 Well, if you like him, then text him. 705 00:28:13,299 --> 00:28:15,566 Tell him the truth. He sent you 706 00:28:15,591 --> 00:28:17,191 a picture of himself pooping. 707 00:28:17,259 --> 00:28:19,663 What's going on with you is not grosser than that. 708 00:28:19,688 --> 00:28:21,428 I mean, for me, it's all gross and none of it 709 00:28:21,497 --> 00:28:23,518 should be talked about, but for you guys, 710 00:28:23,543 --> 00:28:25,443 it might be fine? 711 00:28:25,468 --> 00:28:27,000 Do it, girl. Tell him. 712 00:28:27,069 --> 00:28:28,368 So, Jason, what happened was... 713 00:28:28,437 --> 00:28:30,571 And here's the truth... I got a yeast infection 714 00:28:30,639 --> 00:28:31,919 and I kind of over-corrected a bit 715 00:28:31,974 --> 00:28:33,440 and gave myself bacterial vaginosis, 716 00:28:33,509 --> 00:28:34,975 but I'm on the right medicine now, 717 00:28:35,044 --> 00:28:36,477 and I'll be better in a week 718 00:28:36,545 --> 00:28:38,590 and if you're still down after reading this text message, 719 00:28:38,614 --> 00:28:40,314 I would like to hang out very much. 720 00:28:40,382 --> 00:28:42,516 Respectfully yours, Rebecca Nora Bunch. 721 00:28:42,541 --> 00:28:43,907 And send. 722 00:28:45,118 --> 00:28:46,286 Was that good? 723 00:28:46,978 --> 00:28:50,110 Well, I might have phrased it a bit differently... 724 00:28:50,135 --> 00:28:51,902 Again, we're very, very different people... 725 00:28:51,927 --> 00:28:53,720 But... 726 00:28:54,532 --> 00:28:55,696 Oh, my God, it's Jason. 727 00:28:55,764 --> 00:28:57,118 W-Well, what'd he say? 728 00:28:57,143 --> 00:28:59,844 He said, "That's cool, let's hang out tonight. 729 00:28:59,913 --> 00:29:02,617 "My mom's a gyno, NBD. 730 00:29:02,642 --> 00:29:03,974 "I'll bring over a room spray, 731 00:29:03,999 --> 00:29:06,017 put on some thick sweats." 732 00:29:06,042 --> 00:29:08,809 Hmm. Also, son of a gyno? 733 00:29:08,980 --> 00:29:10,813 What a dream. 734 00:29:13,419 --> 00:29:15,086 Paula, will you tell Darryl 735 00:29:15,154 --> 00:29:17,329 that the client from Azusa wishes to file 736 00:29:17,354 --> 00:29:20,509 a soil-assessment request with the wildlife management office? 737 00:29:20,534 --> 00:29:22,300 Nope, not gonna do that. 738 00:29:22,325 --> 00:29:24,158 Also, he just heard you. 739 00:29:24,183 --> 00:29:26,970 Jim, tell Bert that any idiot knows 740 00:29:27,017 --> 00:29:29,687 that ecological soil testing needs to be done on-site 741 00:29:29,712 --> 00:29:31,363 and he would know that if he wasn't a weirdo 742 00:29:31,388 --> 00:29:33,021 who used to live in a sewer. 743 00:29:33,089 --> 00:29:35,590 Wait, start over. I only got the first part of that. 744 00:29:35,659 --> 00:29:37,125 You know what, I'm nice. 745 00:29:37,194 --> 00:29:38,326 I'm very nice. 746 00:29:38,395 --> 00:29:40,696 But I also have very thin emotional skin. 747 00:29:40,721 --> 00:29:41,721 Like my finger skin. 748 00:29:41,965 --> 00:29:44,265 Which is now protected. 749 00:29:44,290 --> 00:29:46,103 Thank you so much, Bert. 750 00:29:46,128 --> 00:29:48,892 Because of Darryl, I feel myself regressing 751 00:29:48,917 --> 00:29:51,018 into a more raw state. 752 00:29:51,274 --> 00:29:52,813 I've had to go to group therapy 753 00:29:52,838 --> 00:29:54,804 every morning this week, which has interfered 754 00:29:54,829 --> 00:29:56,863 with my morning desert spelunking. 755 00:29:56,888 --> 00:29:58,722 You have cost me the love and the cherishment 756 00:29:58,747 --> 00:29:59,880 of my loved ones. 757 00:29:59,905 --> 00:30:01,037 Cherishment... not a word. 758 00:30:01,062 --> 00:30:03,009 My professional family! 759 00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:04,191 Oh... You've ruined everything. 760 00:30:04,215 --> 00:30:05,814 And you stole my upper lip style choice, 761 00:30:05,839 --> 00:30:06,771 - you son of a... - Oh! 762 00:30:06,796 --> 00:30:09,096 - Aah! Get away from me! - Aah! 763 00:30:09,121 --> 00:30:11,188 - What is your problem?! - Stop it! Stop it right now! 764 00:30:11,213 --> 00:30:12,546 Stop it! Stop it! 765 00:30:12,571 --> 00:30:15,138 That is enough! 766 00:30:15,426 --> 00:30:18,351 - I wasn't doing anything. - Get off. 767 00:30:20,142 --> 00:30:21,899 We can't go on like this. 768 00:30:22,266 --> 00:30:23,865 We need to call in a professional. 769 00:30:31,775 --> 00:30:34,595 Father Brah, it's so cool you do workplace meditations. 770 00:30:34,619 --> 00:30:36,363 Yeah, in this economic climate, I can't afford 771 00:30:36,387 --> 00:30:38,454 - to not diversify. - Hmm. Father, 772 00:30:38,479 --> 00:30:39,978 I have a confession. 773 00:30:40,135 --> 00:30:42,035 You're super cute. 774 00:30:42,060 --> 00:30:44,026 Oh, uh, uh, please don't. 775 00:30:44,138 --> 00:30:46,272 Okay, workplace conflict arises 776 00:30:46,297 --> 00:30:49,031 when we bring our emotional needs 777 00:30:49,056 --> 00:30:50,643 to a transactional environment. 778 00:30:50,668 --> 00:30:52,502 It's Darryl's fault. I think he's borderline 779 00:30:52,527 --> 00:30:56,162 and has BPD or maybe he has narcissism and has NPD. 780 00:30:56,187 --> 00:30:57,717 Or is in the NYPD. 781 00:30:57,742 --> 00:31:01,578 Or he's NPH. I love when he hosts the Tonys. 782 00:31:01,603 --> 00:31:03,513 By the way, he was so right this year. 783 00:31:03,581 --> 00:31:06,916 Who was that weird lady backstage with the tiny top hat? 784 00:31:07,235 --> 00:31:10,038 Do not put this on me, Bert Buttenweiser. 785 00:31:10,063 --> 00:31:12,355 Or shall I say Buttenweasel? 786 00:31:12,423 --> 00:31:13,556 You knew exactly 787 00:31:13,625 --> 00:31:15,391 - what you were doing. - No, no. 788 00:31:15,416 --> 00:31:17,316 I cannot go through this again. 789 00:31:17,341 --> 00:31:19,575 Saturdays with Dad, Sundays with Mom. 790 00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:21,934 Holidays... with who knows who... 791 00:31:21,959 --> 00:31:23,476 Well, check the calendar, Georgie. 792 00:31:23,501 --> 00:31:24,779 Where's my favorite windbreaker? 793 00:31:24,803 --> 00:31:26,447 You must have left it at your mother's place. 794 00:31:26,472 --> 00:31:29,072 Well, then, why don't you ask her new boyfriend 795 00:31:29,097 --> 00:31:32,065 to buy you a new one since he's so much wealthier than me? 796 00:31:35,814 --> 00:31:37,421 Bert, Darryl, 797 00:31:37,446 --> 00:31:38,981 I think you can see the toll 798 00:31:39,006 --> 00:31:40,660 this is taking on your employees. 799 00:31:40,685 --> 00:31:43,085 Can you put aside your personal differences and your 800 00:31:43,154 --> 00:31:45,368 facial-hair resentments for a moment? 801 00:31:47,614 --> 00:31:49,892 Is this stupidity over? 802 00:32:00,556 --> 00:32:02,772 He's right, I've been terrible. 803 00:32:02,797 --> 00:32:05,195 We're hurting people. People we care about. 804 00:32:05,220 --> 00:32:06,242 I'm sorry. 805 00:32:07,048 --> 00:32:08,311 You can be the Dad. 806 00:32:08,379 --> 00:32:11,791 - You be Dad. I'll be Papa. - Uh, again, 807 00:32:11,816 --> 00:32:13,850 I encourage you to see this work environment 808 00:32:13,875 --> 00:32:15,662 through a professional lens, if possible. 809 00:32:15,687 --> 00:32:17,787 Okay, then. It's settled. 810 00:32:17,856 --> 00:32:19,655 - Daddy, Papa. - So, no? 811 00:32:19,680 --> 00:32:22,562 And I will relinquish my glorious facial hair. 812 00:32:22,587 --> 00:32:24,794 I guess, on some level, I grew the mustache 813 00:32:24,863 --> 00:32:26,788 because I wanted to compete with you. 814 00:32:26,813 --> 00:32:29,932 You are so kind and beloved. 815 00:32:30,001 --> 00:32:31,801 Aw. 816 00:32:31,870 --> 00:32:33,302 I think we did it. 817 00:32:33,371 --> 00:32:35,404 Yeah, well done. 818 00:32:35,473 --> 00:32:38,341 Good job, everyone. 819 00:32:38,493 --> 00:32:42,144 Um, everything you said was super smart, 820 00:32:42,169 --> 00:32:45,124 and I just wanted to ask what are you doing later, 821 00:32:45,149 --> 00:32:47,985 and do you like oatmeal draft lattes? 'Cause I do. 822 00:32:48,786 --> 00:32:50,052 I'm a priest. 823 00:32:50,077 --> 00:32:51,532 I'm a Capricorn. 824 00:32:52,274 --> 00:32:53,941 I think this could work. 825 00:32:54,201 --> 00:32:55,668 I never thought I'd have a gym buddy, 826 00:32:55,693 --> 00:32:57,337 mostly because I never thought I'd have a gym. 827 00:32:57,362 --> 00:32:59,869 Yeah, and I don't usually talk to people who are sweating. 828 00:32:59,894 --> 00:33:01,460 Or just people in general. 829 00:33:01,485 --> 00:33:03,142 - But I'm nice now, so... - You know, 830 00:33:03,167 --> 00:33:05,067 you don't need to say it. You could just be it, 831 00:33:05,092 --> 00:33:06,613 and people will think it. 832 00:33:06,638 --> 00:33:08,271 Hmm. Having said that, 833 00:33:08,296 --> 00:33:09,362 I am glad I met you. 834 00:33:09,518 --> 00:33:11,451 It's really hard to make a new friend, 835 00:33:11,476 --> 00:33:14,977 - and it's been great to take my mind off my personal life. - Oh, right, your ex. 836 00:33:15,053 --> 00:33:17,353 Yeah, it's so stupid I'm even thinking about her at all 837 00:33:17,415 --> 00:33:19,070 after what she did. 838 00:33:19,095 --> 00:33:21,160 - Pretty bad, huh? - As bad as it gets. 839 00:33:21,185 --> 00:33:22,285 - Oof. - And what's worse 840 00:33:22,310 --> 00:33:24,163 is I want to forgive her. 841 00:33:24,626 --> 00:33:26,589 I-I just can't stop thinking about her. 842 00:33:27,228 --> 00:33:29,659 I-I hear you, man. I'm in the same boat with my ex. I mean, 843 00:33:29,684 --> 00:33:31,104 she clearly dumped me, 844 00:33:31,129 --> 00:33:33,062 and I can't stop thinking about her either. 845 00:33:33,232 --> 00:33:35,719 I mean, God, women, they are... 846 00:33:36,811 --> 00:33:38,277 our equal in every way. 847 00:33:38,302 --> 00:33:40,246 Well, maybe you should just tell her how you feel. 848 00:33:40,271 --> 00:33:41,916 I've done that. Like, four times. It never works. 849 00:33:41,940 --> 00:33:43,839 Yeah, but you just told me that you've changed. 850 00:33:43,952 --> 00:33:45,318 Does she know that? 851 00:33:45,343 --> 00:33:47,176 Kinda. I don't know. 852 00:33:47,759 --> 00:33:49,545 How about this. 853 00:33:49,614 --> 00:33:51,847 How about you tell your ex that you've changed, 854 00:33:51,872 --> 00:33:54,294 and I'll tell mine I can't stop thinking about her. 855 00:33:54,319 --> 00:33:56,804 - When? - Now. Yeah. 856 00:33:56,829 --> 00:33:58,621 And this isn't just the lemonade talking. 857 00:33:59,149 --> 00:34:01,791 - Really? Should we? - Yeah, come on. 858 00:34:01,816 --> 00:34:03,202 Use your legs, weakling! 859 00:34:03,227 --> 00:34:04,538 Ah, that's a little too much, though. 860 00:34:04,562 --> 00:34:06,182 Yeah, sorry. It felt weird coming out. 861 00:34:06,207 --> 00:34:08,374 No, you're right, we should. Why don't you go first. 862 00:34:08,443 --> 00:34:10,677 I'll pay the tab because, not only am I nice, 863 00:34:10,702 --> 00:34:12,468 I'm also rich. 864 00:34:12,581 --> 00:34:13,813 I'll work on that. 865 00:34:13,838 --> 00:34:15,338 - I'll work on that. - Yeah. Yeah. 866 00:34:15,406 --> 00:34:16,406 All right, good luck. 867 00:34:16,441 --> 00:34:17,473 You too. 868 00:34:17,542 --> 00:34:18,741 Oh, my God. 869 00:34:18,810 --> 00:34:20,154 My friend from the wine bar just texted me. 870 00:34:20,178 --> 00:34:22,178 Greg and Nathaniel had a drink together and they're 871 00:34:22,246 --> 00:34:25,081 both gonna see their exes. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 872 00:34:25,193 --> 00:34:27,660 - I have to go. I have to go do something. - What? 873 00:34:27,685 --> 00:34:29,697 - I don't know. - What are you gonna do when you get there? 874 00:34:29,721 --> 00:34:31,601 I don't know, okay? I'm gonna think of something 875 00:34:31,656 --> 00:34:33,167 very eloquent to say on my way over there 876 00:34:33,191 --> 00:34:35,024 and then I am going to say it to them 877 00:34:35,049 --> 00:34:36,636 - when I get there. - Okay. 878 00:34:36,798 --> 00:34:39,065 I'm so glad you came over. 879 00:34:46,681 --> 00:34:49,916 Hey. I know it's still a little 880 00:34:49,941 --> 00:34:51,860 problematic for me down there, but... 881 00:34:53,168 --> 00:34:54,945 there's other stuff we can do. 882 00:34:56,024 --> 00:34:57,423 Oh. Okay. 883 00:34:58,251 --> 00:34:59,267 Are you sure? 884 00:35:00,485 --> 00:35:01,923 Yeah. 885 00:35:05,456 --> 00:35:09,892 ♪ Whisper, whisper, whisper, whisper ♪ 886 00:35:09,961 --> 00:35:14,130 ♪ This is Elated Cat ♪ 887 00:35:14,241 --> 00:35:16,275 ♪ Interpreting this happy moment ♪ 888 00:35:16,300 --> 00:35:18,567 ♪ In the language of dance. ♪ 889 00:35:18,592 --> 00:35:20,525 ♪ ♪ 890 00:35:32,469 --> 00:35:34,131 You know, I'd like Cats way better 891 00:35:34,185 --> 00:35:36,185 if it were just a plot-free dance revue. 892 00:35:36,254 --> 00:35:37,486 What? 893 00:35:37,511 --> 00:35:38,931 God, I'm nervous. 894 00:35:38,956 --> 00:35:41,357 Why am I nervous? I didn't do anything wrong. 895 00:35:41,470 --> 00:35:43,236 I didn't sleep with anyone's dad. 896 00:35:43,261 --> 00:35:45,298 I've never even met Rebecca's dad. 897 00:35:45,485 --> 00:35:47,997 - Greg? - Hey... 898 00:35:48,022 --> 00:35:49,755 Oh, you came here for moral support? 899 00:35:49,780 --> 00:35:51,547 Thanks, bud, but I got it. 900 00:35:51,745 --> 00:35:53,846 Wait, how'd you even know where I was? 901 00:35:53,871 --> 00:35:55,899 Oh, God. 902 00:35:56,974 --> 00:35:58,360 You're that Greg. 903 00:36:00,678 --> 00:36:02,111 Wait. 904 00:36:02,180 --> 00:36:04,547 You're that jerk real estate dude she dated? 905 00:36:04,615 --> 00:36:06,382 Yep. Yep, that's me. 906 00:36:06,657 --> 00:36:09,056 - So that means that Rebecca had sex with your... 907 00:36:09,081 --> 00:36:11,554 Yes. Him and me and... 908 00:36:11,579 --> 00:36:13,179 obviously, you. 909 00:36:15,093 --> 00:36:18,327 Ah. Uh-huh. 910 00:36:18,440 --> 00:36:20,373 Greg, Nathaniel. Nathaniel, Greg. 911 00:36:20,398 --> 00:36:21,831 Oh, you did that already, huh? 912 00:36:21,856 --> 00:36:24,457 Oh, man, I... I did not do a good job with this, huh? 913 00:36:24,612 --> 00:36:25,978 So I'm gonna... 914 00:36:26,243 --> 00:36:28,792 I'll just see you guys at the, uh... 915 00:36:28,817 --> 00:36:30,683 Nope, no. Probably not. 916 00:36:30,708 --> 00:36:31,790 Okay. I'll see you guys. 917 00:36:45,540 --> 00:36:46,553 What is that? 918 00:36:48,236 --> 00:36:50,937 Ugh, I think I have some of those feral cats on my patio. 919 00:36:50,962 --> 00:36:52,243 I got to go get rid of them. 920 00:36:52,268 --> 00:36:53,634 Okay. Don't take too long. 921 00:36:53,659 --> 00:36:54,758 I won't. 922 00:36:54,783 --> 00:36:56,439 Keep yourself horny. Stay in the mood. 923 00:36:59,630 --> 00:37:03,009 I can't believe this. Oh, I can. 924 00:37:03,034 --> 00:37:04,446 When I get around Rebecca, 925 00:37:04,471 --> 00:37:07,072 this is the kind of thing that happens to me. 926 00:37:10,916 --> 00:37:12,315 What are you guys doing here? 927 00:37:12,384 --> 00:37:13,917 I wanted to talk to you. 928 00:37:13,942 --> 00:37:15,375 I also wanted to talk to you. 929 00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:16,400 Okay. About what? 930 00:37:16,774 --> 00:37:18,454 Is everything okay? 931 00:37:18,523 --> 00:37:21,124 Jason, it's-it's fine. This is a... long story. 932 00:37:21,192 --> 00:37:23,426 - Just-just get back in, okay? - Is it the feral cats? 933 00:37:23,451 --> 00:37:25,472 Don't get bitten! I will protect you... 934 00:37:25,497 --> 00:37:27,430 Oh. Hey, dudes. What's going on? 935 00:37:27,455 --> 00:37:28,754 Rebecca, who are these guys? 936 00:37:29,017 --> 00:37:31,024 These are my ex-boyfriends. 937 00:37:31,049 --> 00:37:33,313 - What is he doing here? - We live together. 938 00:37:33,681 --> 00:37:35,282 Platonic... platonically. 939 00:37:35,307 --> 00:37:37,341 Yeah. Those are not platonic panties. 940 00:37:37,366 --> 00:37:38,814 You know what? I'm gonna head out. 941 00:37:38,839 --> 00:37:40,821 - Yeah, me, too. - Also, me. 942 00:37:42,270 --> 00:37:44,958 God, women are... the future. 943 00:37:44,983 --> 00:37:47,483 Wait, guys. No, no, no. No, no, Jason, Jason, don't go. 944 00:37:47,552 --> 00:37:49,485 I can explain. Guys. Guys! 945 00:37:49,510 --> 00:37:51,577 What did you want to tell me? 946 00:37:56,126 --> 00:37:57,660 Sorry, Becks. 947 00:37:57,861 --> 00:38:00,161 I was trying to save you from the cats. 948 00:38:04,703 --> 00:38:07,003 ♪ ♪ 949 00:38:12,165 --> 00:38:15,345 ♪ Nostalgia ♪ 950 00:38:15,413 --> 00:38:18,081 ♪ I'm feeling nostalgia ♪ 951 00:38:19,951 --> 00:38:23,720 ♪ Such heartbreaking nostalgia ♪ 952 00:38:23,755 --> 00:38:27,156 ♪ For the last time I boned. ♪ 953 00:38:28,560 --> 00:38:30,994 Did somebody say bone? 954 00:38:31,096 --> 00:38:34,030 ♪ I'm the Doggy Dog and I'm wagging my tail ♪ 955 00:38:34,099 --> 00:38:36,243 Okay, that's enough. ♪ Sniffing some ass as I walk up... ♪ 956 00:38:36,267 --> 00:38:38,001 Okay, so, wait... 957 00:38:38,069 --> 00:38:40,470 All of your exes showed up on your doorstep? 958 00:38:40,538 --> 00:38:42,472 Are they still into you? 959 00:38:42,540 --> 00:38:45,241 I don't know. I'm so confused. 960 00:38:45,310 --> 00:38:47,750 I mean, they all had something to say and they saw each other, 961 00:38:47,812 --> 00:38:49,879 and no one said what they wanted to say. 962 00:38:49,948 --> 00:38:52,081 Oh, God, and I've tried to text Jason, 963 00:38:52,150 --> 00:38:53,628 like, "Jason, I'm so sorry about tonight," 964 00:38:53,652 --> 00:38:55,529 but he's not getting back to me, so that's done. 965 00:38:55,553 --> 00:38:57,153 Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. 966 00:38:57,222 --> 00:38:58,466 After everything you've been through this week 967 00:38:58,490 --> 00:39:00,790 with your... vagina. I know, 968 00:39:00,859 --> 00:39:02,692 and I didn't do anything wrong. No. 969 00:39:02,761 --> 00:39:03,871 I was just trying to get laid. 970 00:39:03,895 --> 00:39:05,895 Which now, apparently, will never happen. 971 00:39:05,964 --> 00:39:07,730 God. 972 00:39:07,799 --> 00:39:10,433 Men. 973 00:39:10,502 --> 00:39:12,435 Can't live with 'em, can't kill 'em. 974 00:39:12,504 --> 00:39:13,504 Yeah. We get to say that. 975 00:39:13,571 --> 00:39:14,937 We do. Yeah. 976 00:39:15,006 --> 00:39:16,606 Mmm. 977 00:39:18,004 --> 00:39:20,576 Wow. I really liked that Jason guy. 978 00:39:20,645 --> 00:39:22,812 You kidding me? Have you seen Josh? 979 00:39:22,881 --> 00:39:24,213 Meow. 980 00:39:24,282 --> 00:39:26,315 Josh? Honey, Nathaniel. 981 00:39:26,384 --> 00:39:27,450 That's where it's at. 982 00:39:27,519 --> 00:39:30,486 Mmm, I'm more of a Greg girl myself. 983 00:39:30,555 --> 00:39:33,289 I still can't stop thinking of Marco. 984 00:39:33,358 --> 00:39:35,525 He flipped me like a pancake. 985 00:39:35,593 --> 00:39:36,626 Ooh! 986 00:39:36,695 --> 00:39:38,494 - Meow. - That's nasty. 987 00:39:38,518 --> 00:39:40,518 Subtitle sync and corrections by ChrisKe for www.addic7ed.com. 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net 72618

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.