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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:19,579 --> 00:00:20,968 It's no use. 2 00:00:21,494 --> 00:00:24,292 I can't get it out of my mind, even with yoga. 3 00:00:25,199 --> 00:00:27,561 Well, ya can't say thatcha didn't try. 4 00:00:27,562 --> 00:00:30,560 -And ya can't say that I didn't try. -I appreciate that. 5 00:00:30,561 --> 00:00:33,839 But, Xena, it was one of my favorite scrolls, a new one... 6 00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:36,672 ...charting our history through the prism of time. 7 00:00:36,673 --> 00:00:39,093 -It was a more intimate... -...Examination of our relationship... 8 00:00:39,094 --> 00:00:42,086 ...and on and on. You've been talking about it ever since we left Paraeus. 9 00:00:42,087 --> 00:00:44,474 I can't recreate the beauty,... the essence. 10 00:00:44,475 --> 00:00:46,464 Then, Gabrielle, go back for it. 11 00:00:47,416 --> 00:00:48,874 Gabrielle... 12 00:00:48,875 --> 00:00:51,258 The prince needs my help in Arcon. I'm gonna go ahead. 13 00:00:51,259 --> 00:00:53,877 You go back to Paraeus and catch up with me when you can. 14 00:00:53,878 --> 00:00:56,474 -Are you sure? -Sure, I'm sure. 15 00:00:56,595 --> 00:00:59,378 -Go on, make us both happy. -Thank you. 16 00:00:59,379 --> 00:01:01,373 -Don't mention it. -Ok. 17 00:01:05,077 --> 00:01:07,567 Well, when I say "Don't mention it." I mean... 18 00:01:08,123 --> 00:01:09,723 ...you can mention it. 19 00:01:13,203 --> 00:01:16,955 It's just a figure of speech. You don't have to take it literally. 20 00:01:17,359 --> 00:01:19,554 It wouldn't kill ya to maybe to look back or something. 21 00:01:22,480 --> 00:01:26,179 Aw, rats. All right, Argo, it's just you and me. 22 00:01:27,762 --> 00:01:30,773 -Welcome! Welcome! -...It was her underwear! 23 00:01:37,543 --> 00:01:39,942 You're much funnier than Euripides! 24 00:01:40,142 --> 00:01:41,416 I am! 25 00:01:50,617 --> 00:01:52,613 Not in your lifetime. Thank you. 26 00:01:55,830 --> 00:01:57,822 -We came through here... -She'll never work in this town again. 27 00:01:57,829 --> 00:02:01,020 We walked this way... We said hi to the tavernkeeper... We almost... 28 00:02:02,908 --> 00:02:03,799 Joxer... 29 00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:06,447 Lousy drunk! 30 00:02:06,448 --> 00:02:09,448 I'm not drunk! I just trip over things like that. 31 00:02:10,173 --> 00:02:12,377 -Joxer, what are you doing? -Hi. 32 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:14,707 Gabrielle... 33 00:02:15,100 --> 00:02:16,022 Wow! 34 00:02:16,023 --> 00:02:17,404 Your hair... 35 00:02:17,444 --> 00:02:19,662 Did that hurt? What's that you're wearing? 36 00:02:19,933 --> 00:02:22,533 -Sari. -Don't apologize. It looks good. 37 00:02:23,864 --> 00:02:26,465 Joxer, I'm looking for something. It's very important. 38 00:02:26,505 --> 00:02:29,105 It's close to my heart, and I know it's here somewhere. 39 00:02:29,570 --> 00:02:32,491 You mean, like a feeling? D'ya get it often? 40 00:02:32,516 --> 00:02:34,715 Like now, for example? 41 00:02:34,795 --> 00:02:37,261 Yeah, because I know the scroll is here somewhere. 42 00:02:37,311 --> 00:02:39,516 Oh, scroll... 43 00:02:40,506 --> 00:02:42,712 Well, maybe you left it in one of these theaters. 44 00:02:42,722 --> 00:02:44,102 I wish I had. 45 00:02:44,112 --> 00:02:46,192 Paraeus is the great Appian Way. 46 00:02:46,242 --> 00:02:48,927 You know, I could spend a week going to all these plays. 47 00:02:48,952 --> 00:02:51,650 Yeah. Yeah, I love theater. 48 00:02:51,989 --> 00:02:54,785 Euripi...cles and Sopha...more... 49 00:02:55,115 --> 00:02:57,908 -Euripides. Sophocles -Yeah, those guys, too. 50 00:02:57,909 --> 00:03:01,557 Ah... Sophocles... If I could pick one person to be my mentor... 51 00:03:01,786 --> 00:03:03,645 His writing is perfect. 52 00:03:03,735 --> 00:03:07,113 Hey! Whaddya say, you and me go to a Sophocles play? 53 00:03:07,123 --> 00:03:08,728 I'll bring a bag 'a oats and, you know... 54 00:03:08,738 --> 00:03:12,148 -Joxer, I really have to find my... -Masterpiece! 55 00:03:13,365 --> 00:03:16,171 -Is that what you're looking for? -My scroll... 56 00:03:16,669 --> 00:03:18,661 This is it. Thank you. Thank you. 57 00:03:18,831 --> 00:03:21,386 -Where did you find it? -I was sitting in the little girls' house... 58 00:03:21,387 --> 00:03:23,206 ...and there it was, right beside me. 59 00:03:23,536 --> 00:03:25,680 I'm sorry, I don't have a lot of money for a reward. 60 00:03:25,681 --> 00:03:29,379 Reward schmeward! The Fates have already rewarded me enough. 61 00:03:29,419 --> 00:03:33,038 I am Zera, a producer of plays! 62 00:03:34,012 --> 00:03:36,741 This is my associate, Milo. 63 00:03:37,399 --> 00:03:38,607 I'm Gabrielle. 64 00:03:40,249 --> 00:03:41,653 ...The writer. 65 00:03:41,783 --> 00:03:44,992 I'm Joxer... Her associate. Joxer, the Mighty. 66 00:03:45,042 --> 00:03:48,442 You've probably read about me in those scrolls, didn't she? 67 00:03:49,652 --> 00:03:51,258 Oh, that was you. 68 00:03:54,164 --> 00:03:55,654 Very good! 69 00:03:55,821 --> 00:03:58,901 I must say, in that stall, I saw greatness. 70 00:03:58,951 --> 00:04:01,343 -Really? -Your scroll... I was... 71 00:04:01,393 --> 00:04:03,809 ...swept away by the majesty of your words... 72 00:04:03,819 --> 00:04:07,884 ...The brilliance, the soul-changing dynamic of your vision. 73 00:04:07,917 --> 00:04:11,791 This work must be seen on the stage. 74 00:04:13,563 --> 00:04:15,178 And I... 75 00:04:15,395 --> 00:04:16,400 I... 76 00:04:16,729 --> 00:04:20,269 ...would be so humbled if you would allow me to produce it... 77 00:04:23,354 --> 00:04:25,480 That's very flattering. I... 78 00:04:27,591 --> 00:04:28,903 I can't. 79 00:04:30,262 --> 00:04:32,673 Xena needs me in Arcon. I... 80 00:04:33,243 --> 00:04:36,075 Besides, my scroll is meant to be read, not performed. 81 00:04:36,205 --> 00:04:40,158 Gabrielle, I know we're just like typical, flashy, show-biz types to you... 82 00:04:40,208 --> 00:04:44,207 ...but... I got into this business because I believe in the arts. 83 00:04:44,377 --> 00:04:48,858 There is so much garbage around but, when I saw your scrolls, well... 84 00:04:49,388 --> 00:04:51,975 ...This is substance. 85 00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:56,957 Don't the people deserve to see it? 86 00:04:58,367 --> 00:04:59,757 Please... 87 00:05:01,790 --> 00:05:03,076 Please... 88 00:05:04,999 --> 00:05:08,057 To think that people could be touched by sum'in' left in a bathroom... 89 00:05:08,067 --> 00:05:11,379 If I were to rewrite it, for the stage,... 90 00:05:11,642 --> 00:05:14,404 ...I could show people all the lessons I learned in India... 91 00:05:14,414 --> 00:05:16,805 ...about peace and happiness. 92 00:05:19,191 --> 00:05:21,733 -I'll do it. -Thank you! 93 00:05:21,743 --> 00:05:23,362 Thank you, Gabrielle! 94 00:05:23,928 --> 00:05:27,084 There is theater in your soul. 95 00:05:28,651 --> 00:05:32,943 "And the very air sang with harmony as Xena lay down her sword." 96 00:05:33,082 --> 00:05:37,229 "And Humungus, ennobled by her gesture, lay his down as well." 97 00:05:38,759 --> 00:05:39,963 Ok. 98 00:05:40,413 --> 00:05:43,205 I'll get back to you right after I send word to Xena. 99 00:05:43,255 --> 00:05:45,363 Ah, yeah. Well, pretty good. 100 00:05:45,364 --> 00:05:47,369 "Humungus was ennobled..." All that. 101 00:05:48,121 --> 00:05:49,306 Pretty good. 102 00:05:52,506 --> 00:05:55,909 "The air sang with harmony"? 103 00:05:56,588 --> 00:05:57,777 I know! 104 00:05:58,508 --> 00:06:01,510 Zera, baby, what scam are you up to now? 105 00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:03,735 Usually, I can smell the money. 106 00:06:03,745 --> 00:06:06,310 But I'm not sure what I'm smelling here. 107 00:06:06,311 --> 00:06:08,710 What if I told you we found the golden fleece... 108 00:06:08,711 --> 00:06:10,714 ...and her name is Gabrielle? 109 00:06:10,844 --> 00:06:13,442 You bad girl. What are you up to? 110 00:06:14,154 --> 00:06:16,822 If the village witnesses this garbage... 111 00:06:16,845 --> 00:06:19,261 ...they'll throw your playwright right out of town. 112 00:06:19,271 --> 00:06:21,464 Oh, dear heart, if she's lucky. 113 00:06:21,474 --> 00:06:23,874 The people I'm thinking of are liable to kill her. 114 00:06:33,459 --> 00:06:36,548 In the time of ancient gods,... 115 00:06:38,848 --> 00:06:39,900 ...warlords... 116 00:06:40,252 --> 00:06:41,312 ...and kings... 117 00:06:41,787 --> 00:06:45,502 ...a land in turmoil cried out for a hero. 118 00:06:54,397 --> 00:06:56,643 She was Xena. 119 00:06:56,981 --> 00:06:58,583 A mighty princess... 120 00:06:58,584 --> 00:07:00,683 ...forged in the heat of battle. 121 00:07:05,322 --> 00:07:06,649 The power... 122 00:07:08,340 --> 00:07:09,868 The passion... 123 00:07:12,882 --> 00:07:14,200 The danger... 124 00:07:19,729 --> 00:07:22,321 Her courage will change the world. 125 00:07:22,913 --> 00:07:26,772 XENA, THE WARRIOR PRINCESS 126 00:07:31,953 --> 00:07:34,768 Athens Academy Theater presents Sophocles' "The Women of Trachis" 127 00:07:35,315 --> 00:07:36,879 Titan Playhouse direct from Roma! 128 00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:38,494 "A funny thing happened the way to the Acropolis" Original cast! 129 00:07:38,495 --> 00:07:40,281 By-The-Gods Performing Arts Center 30th Smash Week! 130 00:07:40,282 --> 00:07:42,965 "Oh, Zeus" A divine comedy. Laugh of be smitten! 131 00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:45,320 Apollo 132 00:07:52,905 --> 00:07:55,257 What a dump. Where's the theater? 133 00:07:55,267 --> 00:07:59,469 This is the theater, dear boy. The Apollo is known throughout the world. 134 00:08:01,500 --> 00:08:03,123 As a dive. 135 00:08:06,237 --> 00:08:07,568 Here it is. 136 00:08:10,136 --> 00:08:11,948 Needs a little cleaning. 137 00:08:12,077 --> 00:08:14,758 ...And a touch of paint... Here... 138 00:08:17,374 --> 00:08:18,561 There... 139 00:08:20,863 --> 00:08:23,369 There... But... 140 00:08:23,511 --> 00:08:25,111 ...I can see it. 141 00:08:25,549 --> 00:08:27,960 I knew I made the right choice. 142 00:08:28,092 --> 00:08:30,746 You have an innate vision, Gabrielle. 143 00:08:31,065 --> 00:08:32,681 You see through the exterior... 144 00:08:32,682 --> 00:08:34,642 ...to the ghosts of performances past. 145 00:08:34,692 --> 00:08:36,220 Ghost? Where? Who? 146 00:08:38,391 --> 00:08:39,972 All the way down here! 147 00:08:40,012 --> 00:08:43,413 I'm a true believer of the auteur theory. 148 00:08:43,423 --> 00:08:45,405 You are the creator, the writer. 149 00:08:45,415 --> 00:08:48,576 I cannot allow someone else to interpret your vision. 150 00:08:48,586 --> 00:08:51,601 Therefore, I want you to also be the director. 151 00:08:51,611 --> 00:08:53,416 -The director... -Yes. 152 00:08:55,079 --> 00:08:57,537 I've never done anything like that before. 153 00:08:57,587 --> 00:08:59,773 Oh, but it must be you. There's so much to take care of... 154 00:08:59,783 --> 00:09:02,299 ...Casting, set design, rehearsals... 155 00:09:02,324 --> 00:09:03,932 You'll need an assistant. 156 00:09:04,938 --> 00:09:06,230 Can I? Please? 157 00:09:06,240 --> 00:09:08,965 -Can I be an assistant? -Enthusiasm is so important... 158 00:09:08,990 --> 00:09:11,318 You should give him a task that is worthy of it. 159 00:09:11,319 --> 00:09:13,058 Ok, Joxer. It's you. 160 00:09:13,083 --> 00:09:16,041 Great! Ok, ok! 161 00:09:17,061 --> 00:09:19,471 We'll start by putting up a new flap back there. 162 00:09:19,502 --> 00:09:21,512 ...A whole aegean sunset. 163 00:09:21,534 --> 00:09:23,519 Then we'll have to tear out these walls... 164 00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:25,527 ...'cause we need a new persineum, you know? 165 00:09:25,545 --> 00:09:27,758 And... I'll meet the press. 166 00:09:27,833 --> 00:09:30,319 How do you do? How do you do? 167 00:09:30,888 --> 00:09:33,676 And... I'll hafta have lunch with an agent. 168 00:09:34,429 --> 00:09:36,571 I know just the job to start you with. 169 00:09:36,596 --> 00:09:38,297 Open casting call. 170 00:09:38,347 --> 00:09:41,549 "Gabrielle and Xena... A message of peace" 171 00:09:43,845 --> 00:09:44,669 Hey... 172 00:09:44,670 --> 00:09:47,138 Do you mind? I'm trying to... 173 00:09:47,626 --> 00:09:50,043 ...fill out my last will and testament. 174 00:09:50,948 --> 00:09:52,954 A new play? It sounds good. 175 00:09:53,193 --> 00:09:55,050 I can't wait to see it. 176 00:09:55,051 --> 00:09:57,867 Son of Zeus! I love the theater! 177 00:09:57,997 --> 00:10:01,381 This place is great! Even the warlords love the theater. 178 00:10:04,679 --> 00:10:06,863 I have many skills. 179 00:10:18,093 --> 00:10:19,908 I'm too fat! 180 00:10:25,679 --> 00:10:28,692 But Xena, you followed the violent approach in the past... 181 00:10:28,717 --> 00:10:31,366 ...and what has come of it but more violence? 182 00:10:32,779 --> 00:10:34,626 Thank you. 183 00:10:34,627 --> 00:10:35,399 Next. 184 00:10:38,288 --> 00:10:40,877 I didn't realize casting Gabrielle would be so difficult. 185 00:10:40,878 --> 00:10:43,711 There's j... It's a subtlety to the character. 186 00:10:43,752 --> 00:10:44,935 I'm no... 187 00:10:44,936 --> 00:10:46,420 Zera? Zera! 188 00:10:49,071 --> 00:10:50,334 Sorry, my dear. 189 00:10:50,353 --> 00:10:52,858 Your beautiful prose already rings in my head. 190 00:10:52,908 --> 00:10:56,422 I'm looking for a certain physical presence. 191 00:10:56,883 --> 00:10:58,882 Maybe you should take a break from Gabrielles... 192 00:10:58,883 --> 00:11:00,683 ...and try casting a Xena. 193 00:11:01,429 --> 00:11:02,644 You. 194 00:11:03,358 --> 00:11:06,542 You look like Xena. Can you act? 195 00:11:09,705 --> 00:11:11,495 You were right, Gabrielle. 196 00:11:11,496 --> 00:11:13,933 How could have I been so blind? 197 00:11:15,750 --> 00:11:19,340 Ok. Now, try it like Xena would. 198 00:11:24,677 --> 00:11:26,684 You were right, Gabrielle. 199 00:11:26,685 --> 00:11:29,191 How could have I been so blind? 200 00:11:32,808 --> 00:11:36,571 She'll do. Besides, Xena requires more of an athlete. Great! 201 00:11:36,741 --> 00:11:38,556 Back to the Gabrielles. 202 00:11:44,158 --> 00:11:46,964 Never fear! Xena is here! 203 00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:49,185 Minya? 204 00:11:49,186 --> 00:11:51,616 -What are you doing here? -Auditioning. 205 00:11:51,681 --> 00:11:54,812 Now my dream of being Xena can finally come true! 206 00:11:56,802 --> 00:12:00,303 I'm sorry, Minya, but the part's been cast. 207 00:12:02,116 --> 00:12:03,787 What, this bag of bones? 208 00:12:03,837 --> 00:12:06,777 She couldn't shoo a mule, let alone bust heads! 209 00:12:06,782 --> 00:12:10,242 I can too shoo a mule! Shoo! 210 00:12:10,823 --> 00:12:12,023 Why, you...! 211 00:12:12,033 --> 00:12:14,288 Well, I see you have everything well in hand, my dear. 212 00:12:14,338 --> 00:12:17,313 I must run 'n' meet with an inverstor. Good luck, darling! 213 00:12:17,363 --> 00:12:19,230 I was born to play this role. 214 00:12:19,237 --> 00:12:22,740 As soon as I heard you were doing this, I knew I was what you wanted. 215 00:12:23,693 --> 00:12:26,904 Minya, how about playing a villain? 216 00:12:26,929 --> 00:12:29,680 They usually have the best roles. I can write something for you. 217 00:12:30,170 --> 00:12:34,863 Well... I could still use my Xena dark side, couldn't I? 218 00:12:38,596 --> 00:12:40,200 Do you see what I see? 219 00:12:40,652 --> 00:12:42,060 Oh, my gods! 220 00:12:47,335 --> 00:12:49,372 Oh, my gods, a centaur! 221 00:12:52,319 --> 00:12:54,694 I understand you're putting on a play. 222 00:12:55,835 --> 00:13:00,252 My name is Dustinus Hoofmanus. I wish to audition. 223 00:13:00,342 --> 00:13:02,646 Centaurs do not do plays. 224 00:13:02,671 --> 00:13:05,643 There isn't a centaur in the entire Appian Way. 225 00:13:06,348 --> 00:13:07,675 Incredible! 226 00:13:07,820 --> 00:13:09,796 Yes, I am. 227 00:13:12,945 --> 00:13:15,326 You're hired. I don't care what I have to do... 228 00:13:15,327 --> 00:13:17,125 ...you'll be in the script, I promise. 229 00:13:17,164 --> 00:13:20,383 Thank you. Oh, by the way... 230 00:13:20,464 --> 00:13:24,176 I do not play quadrupeds. Make sure the role reflects that. 231 00:13:24,406 --> 00:13:25,405 What? 232 00:13:25,415 --> 00:13:28,125 I do not play four-legged creatures. 233 00:13:28,771 --> 00:13:32,166 -But you're a centaur... -I am an actor! 234 00:13:32,167 --> 00:13:34,369 I refuse to limit myself! 235 00:13:39,078 --> 00:13:41,275 Gonna make him play a villain, too? 236 00:13:42,184 --> 00:13:43,770 A Sophocles play? 237 00:13:43,780 --> 00:13:47,342 A brand-new Sophocles play? It's opening opposite mine. 238 00:13:47,352 --> 00:13:50,143 Yeah, everyone was talkin' about it. Great art, huh? 239 00:13:50,188 --> 00:13:51,893 It's a disaster. 240 00:13:51,903 --> 00:13:55,153 Sophocles is the master of prose, of feeling,... 241 00:13:55,194 --> 00:13:58,265 ...of plumbing the emotional depths of human existence. 242 00:13:58,427 --> 00:14:00,018 Writes good, too. 243 00:14:00,028 --> 00:14:04,300 No one's gonna see my play. Not with his opening the same night as mine. 244 00:14:04,358 --> 00:14:07,009 Hey, that's not true, Gabrielle. I just ran into this warlord. 245 00:14:07,059 --> 00:14:10,392 He said he was definitely coming to see your play. Seriously. 246 00:14:10,882 --> 00:14:12,556 -That's it! -What? 247 00:14:12,592 --> 00:14:16,197 Who cares who sees my play as long as the right people see it? 248 00:14:16,683 --> 00:14:20,794 This warlord... He wants to hear my message of peace. 249 00:14:20,844 --> 00:14:22,852 That's who my play speaks to. 250 00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:24,708 Fantastic. 251 00:14:25,366 --> 00:14:27,262 It's the artist's dream. 252 00:14:27,592 --> 00:14:29,476 "Art smart"...! 253 00:14:29,759 --> 00:14:31,883 All I care about is getting my money... 254 00:14:31,884 --> 00:14:34,199 ...so I can buy those weapons my army needs. 255 00:14:34,251 --> 00:14:36,510 Don't worry, Kaelus. As a major investor... 256 00:14:36,511 --> 00:14:38,662 ...you'll get 75% of the profits. 257 00:14:38,715 --> 00:14:42,316 Gabrielle is doing this for next to nothing. All the credit goes to her. 258 00:14:43,596 --> 00:14:45,028 Where's my drink? 259 00:14:47,398 --> 00:14:50,514 My little bowl of vipers, let me get this right. 260 00:14:50,575 --> 00:14:53,178 You sold Kaelus, the Conqueror,... 261 00:14:53,179 --> 00:14:55,236 ...75 % interest in the play, right? 262 00:14:55,286 --> 00:14:57,293 -Yes, dearest. -But you also sold... 263 00:14:57,294 --> 00:15:00,298 ...75 % to the warlord Therax, the Terrible. 264 00:15:00,323 --> 00:15:02,730 Doesn't quite add up. If the play is a success... 265 00:15:02,740 --> 00:15:05,558 If it was a success, they would both want their money. 266 00:15:05,559 --> 00:15:07,157 75% each. 267 00:15:07,232 --> 00:15:10,321 But you've read that play. It can't possibly succeed. 268 00:15:11,274 --> 00:15:14,919 -And if it's a failure... -...They won't even try to collect. 269 00:15:15,470 --> 00:15:17,665 And we keep the investments. 270 00:15:17,995 --> 00:15:21,787 They'll try to collect, all right, but it won't be from us. It'll be from... 271 00:15:23,375 --> 00:15:26,380 -It had better be a success. -Great. 272 00:15:33,624 --> 00:15:36,433 -Go on.. -Hi, Gaby. 273 00:15:36,723 --> 00:15:39,713 I like the colors you're using on that flag. 274 00:15:39,763 --> 00:15:40,927 Thank you. 275 00:15:40,928 --> 00:15:43,934 It's the background vista to Xena's redemption scene. 276 00:15:44,950 --> 00:15:47,156 Listen. I was talkin' with Zera... 277 00:15:47,206 --> 00:15:50,751 ...and she thinks that you might need someone to take over some of the more... 278 00:15:50,776 --> 00:15:53,294 ...noncreative aspects of the show. 279 00:15:53,344 --> 00:15:55,504 Publicity, promotion, ticket sales... 280 00:15:55,505 --> 00:15:57,885 Artists cannot be bothered with trifles like that. 281 00:15:57,886 --> 00:16:00,792 -Right. -Ok. Thanks, Joxer. 282 00:16:01,034 --> 00:16:03,619 That's why she made me the producer. 283 00:16:04,290 --> 00:16:06,502 You? The producer? 284 00:16:06,543 --> 00:16:07,960 Of my play? 285 00:16:08,335 --> 00:16:12,136 Not in this world! Not in this life! Not on this stage! 286 00:16:13,917 --> 00:16:15,887 Gabrielle... Please... 287 00:16:15,912 --> 00:16:18,103 Producers have no weight in this community. 288 00:16:18,104 --> 00:16:21,316 The stage is for the artists. We are merely functionaries. 289 00:16:21,866 --> 00:16:24,749 Does this require him to spend time outside the theater? 290 00:16:24,759 --> 00:16:27,261 -Almost exclusively. -Ok. 291 00:16:27,280 --> 00:16:29,469 Good! Must rush, darling. 292 00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:37,805 Joxer... 293 00:16:38,401 --> 00:16:41,008 Selling a show takes more than hanging posters. 294 00:16:41,036 --> 00:16:43,435 You really need to get inside the minds of the people... 295 00:16:43,475 --> 00:16:47,479 -...and find out what they want. -Hey, I'm a people. 296 00:16:47,519 --> 00:16:51,100 I know what I want. I know what I like. 297 00:16:52,232 --> 00:16:55,726 Doesn't matter, anyway. I know who my audience is. 298 00:16:56,802 --> 00:16:59,162 Well, that's great. That's perfect. 299 00:16:59,442 --> 00:17:03,294 You're the creative side, and I'm the business guy. 300 00:17:05,781 --> 00:17:07,183 What are you doing? 301 00:17:07,911 --> 00:17:10,196 This is the worst field I've ever seen. 302 00:17:10,561 --> 00:17:12,364 Because it's an ocean. 303 00:17:28,789 --> 00:17:31,910 I want you all to know that this is a collaboration. 304 00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:33,114 That's right. 305 00:17:33,243 --> 00:17:35,426 The success or failure of this show... 306 00:17:35,427 --> 00:17:38,061 ...rides on all of us, not one person. 307 00:17:38,123 --> 00:17:41,515 Well, I'm not gonna take the blame if she turns out to be a lousy Xena. 308 00:17:43,389 --> 00:17:45,063 Wouldn't be my fault! 309 00:17:45,067 --> 00:17:48,869 It'd be... the Gabrielle! She's got all the lines. 310 00:17:49,607 --> 00:17:52,412 Hey, who did get that part? 311 00:17:53,787 --> 00:17:58,252 Finding the right Gabrielle proved to be more difficult than I expected. 312 00:17:58,491 --> 00:18:00,277 ...Very difficult. 313 00:18:00,601 --> 00:18:02,856 I realized that only one person... 314 00:18:02,857 --> 00:18:06,324 ...can fully capture the spiritual essence of Gabrielle. 315 00:18:06,415 --> 00:18:09,013 Someone who actually lived that truth. 316 00:18:09,023 --> 00:18:10,828 ...Lived the truth. 317 00:18:10,878 --> 00:18:13,658 -So I cast myself. -So... 318 00:18:15,287 --> 00:18:17,894 Couldn't see that one coming, could we? 319 00:18:20,696 --> 00:18:22,449 So remember, Xena... 320 00:18:22,467 --> 00:18:24,860 Faith is not a jump in the night... 321 00:18:24,861 --> 00:18:27,284 ...but a walk in the light. 322 00:18:27,590 --> 00:18:31,407 Look, it's King Whatsis, approaching on his... 323 00:18:33,185 --> 00:18:35,173 -...Horse! -...horse! 324 00:18:35,303 --> 00:18:38,114 Hello, there, friends, Gabrielle and Xena. 325 00:18:38,164 --> 00:18:39,598 I seek your help. 326 00:18:39,755 --> 00:18:42,543 The warlord, Humungus, is behaving in a destructive way. 327 00:18:42,544 --> 00:18:44,533 No doubt as a result of his impoverished upbringing... 328 00:18:44,573 --> 00:18:46,959 ...and other societal factors beyond his control. 329 00:18:47,287 --> 00:18:48,817 Here he comes now! 330 00:18:50,133 --> 00:18:53,751 I am the warlord Humungus. 331 00:18:55,050 --> 00:18:57,746 Are you Xena? 332 00:18:58,334 --> 00:18:59,552 I am. 333 00:19:00,202 --> 00:19:02,802 Come, sit down. 334 00:19:03,403 --> 00:19:05,421 We wish to give you... 335 00:19:05,948 --> 00:19:08,561 ...A message of peace. 336 00:19:08,656 --> 00:19:09,846 Ok. 337 00:19:16,728 --> 00:19:20,714 And... curtain! Could that have gone better? 338 00:19:24,507 --> 00:19:25,819 Great work! 339 00:19:26,444 --> 00:19:29,234 Great drama. Ok, let's keep going. 340 00:19:29,235 --> 00:19:30,235 Minya! 341 00:19:31,277 --> 00:19:34,374 -Come on, it's your big scene. -Yeah. 342 00:19:35,381 --> 00:19:39,170 My big scene, where I talk my issues out more... 343 00:19:40,226 --> 00:19:42,617 It seems like all we do is talk. 344 00:19:42,706 --> 00:19:46,938 You know, maybe the play might be even better if we just clobbered some skulls. 345 00:19:47,682 --> 00:19:51,285 No, Xena doesn't do that. Her message is of peace. 346 00:19:52,330 --> 00:19:53,437 Yeah. 347 00:19:53,438 --> 00:19:56,252 Gabrielle, the play is great. 348 00:19:57,552 --> 00:19:59,741 Maybe if we just had a different title... 349 00:20:00,345 --> 00:20:02,554 Like what? "Springtime for warlords"? 350 00:20:02,604 --> 00:20:05,396 Well, or... "Blood, guts and babes". 351 00:20:06,171 --> 00:20:08,365 "Wild men in rubber". 352 00:20:10,284 --> 00:20:13,071 Or "Big boys in boxers". 353 00:20:13,081 --> 00:20:15,909 -That would be great! -You're on the right track, you know? 354 00:20:15,959 --> 00:20:18,303 -"Chorus of showgirls"! -Yeah! 355 00:20:19,707 --> 00:20:20,915 Stop it. 356 00:20:24,734 --> 00:20:26,746 Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! 357 00:20:26,996 --> 00:20:29,539 This is my play! Now, I am in charge here... 358 00:20:29,589 --> 00:20:32,082 ...and I say we can make a few changes... 359 00:20:32,083 --> 00:20:34,502 ...but we will not ruin my vision. 360 00:20:41,572 --> 00:20:45,165 Well, well, well, well. 361 00:20:45,340 --> 00:20:48,350 Aren't you all ashamed of yourselves? 362 00:20:48,469 --> 00:20:52,071 Gabrielle put her heart and soul into this play. 363 00:20:52,401 --> 00:20:54,806 And as a producer, I'm ashamed for all of you. 364 00:20:57,983 --> 00:20:59,618 But as a producer... 365 00:20:59,779 --> 00:21:01,777 ...I have a few little changes to make. First... 366 00:21:06,371 --> 00:21:09,016 Zera, so good to see you. 367 00:21:09,189 --> 00:21:11,924 Therax, here wants to check on his investment. 368 00:21:11,925 --> 00:21:14,408 Yeah, that's right. And if I don't like what I see... 369 00:21:14,433 --> 00:21:17,986 ...I'm grinding my profits from the bones of your little playwright. 370 00:21:18,019 --> 00:21:20,031 Therax, sweetheart, don't worry. 371 00:21:20,041 --> 00:21:22,322 The show is a guaranteed moneymaker. 372 00:21:22,332 --> 00:21:25,813 I can't say it enough. This Gabrielle, she's an absolute genius. 373 00:21:26,835 --> 00:21:28,839 I have inner peace. 374 00:21:31,982 --> 00:21:34,189 I can work with amatours. 375 00:21:37,504 --> 00:21:40,103 In with love, out with hate. 376 00:21:40,355 --> 00:21:41,970 In with love. 377 00:21:42,180 --> 00:21:43,760 Out with hate. 378 00:21:50,228 --> 00:21:53,018 Well, I just gotta tell her that that's just the way it's gotta be. 379 00:21:54,719 --> 00:21:55,846 Gabrielle... 380 00:21:56,050 --> 00:21:58,808 We were all talking and... we just wanted to say that... 381 00:21:58,858 --> 00:22:00,240 ...we're sorry. 382 00:22:00,810 --> 00:22:02,000 Thank you. 383 00:22:02,090 --> 00:22:04,854 And I want to apologize for losing control. 384 00:22:04,900 --> 00:22:08,113 I promise, it won't happen again. Ok? 385 00:22:08,491 --> 00:22:11,180 Well, let's start where we left off. Scene 84. 386 00:22:11,230 --> 00:22:12,766 Ok, first positions. Let's go. 387 00:22:14,689 --> 00:22:16,688 Pollena, when you're ready. 388 00:22:21,361 --> 00:22:23,560 Xena, is that you? I have pr... 389 00:22:26,098 --> 00:22:28,717 -What happened to your costume? -Ask my producer. 390 00:22:35,950 --> 00:22:38,278 I just figured... You know, a little eye candy... 391 00:22:38,279 --> 00:22:40,074 What's the harm? Doesn't affect the vision thing. 392 00:22:40,075 --> 00:22:42,464 It's... all still the same. So, go on. 393 00:22:46,568 --> 00:22:49,821 Ok. Let's move on to act 8. 394 00:22:50,782 --> 00:22:52,971 It'll be the entrance of Whatsis. 395 00:22:53,328 --> 00:22:54,794 I'll give the cue. 396 00:22:55,679 --> 00:22:58,670 Look, it's King Whatsis on his horse. 397 00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:03,502 Hello, Gabrielle and Xena. I have battled the warlord Humungus. 398 00:23:03,530 --> 00:23:05,716 His army destroyed my entire battalion. 399 00:23:05,717 --> 00:23:06,851 What's this? 400 00:23:06,901 --> 00:23:11,092 It's... It's blood. You have a head on your stick. 401 00:23:12,525 --> 00:23:15,332 These are your changes? Blood? Sex? 402 00:23:15,702 --> 00:23:17,097 And a hot tub. 403 00:23:17,098 --> 00:23:19,078 I got the guys workin' on it in the back. 404 00:23:19,121 --> 00:23:22,585 I thought to myself... "Joxer, what is it that you like?" 405 00:23:22,610 --> 00:23:25,027 And I figured, that's what the public wants. 406 00:23:25,091 --> 00:23:27,399 Artists aren't supposed to care what the public wants. 407 00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:29,057 We're not doing this for money. 408 00:23:29,062 --> 00:23:31,050 -I am. -So am I! 409 00:23:31,060 --> 00:23:34,720 Look, if you don't like my message, you can all take off. 410 00:23:37,423 --> 00:23:40,224 No good playwright would have her art reduced to garbage... 411 00:23:40,225 --> 00:23:42,126 ...for the sake of a few dinars! 412 00:23:58,819 --> 00:24:00,801 I wonder what Sophocles would say. 413 00:24:02,026 --> 00:24:03,615 Why don't I ask him? 414 00:24:05,058 --> 00:24:06,875 Artist to artist. 415 00:24:33,070 --> 00:24:35,863 I asked for blood! You call that blood? 416 00:24:35,913 --> 00:24:39,272 -And shorten those skirts! -Sophocles? 417 00:24:48,980 --> 00:24:51,980 -It's her play, and we're gonna apol... -...Ok. 418 00:24:53,973 --> 00:24:56,432 Hi, Gabrielle. Listen. 419 00:24:56,447 --> 00:24:59,488 We were talking and, we just wanna tell you we think you're... 420 00:24:59,528 --> 00:25:01,439 I have an announcement to make. 421 00:25:02,234 --> 00:25:04,901 A message means nothing if no one hears it. 422 00:25:07,322 --> 00:25:10,924 A flower in the forest is just a plant if no one sees it. 423 00:25:14,654 --> 00:25:17,312 We're gonna need more blood. I want more skin. 424 00:25:17,352 --> 00:25:19,246 I want action. I want weapons. 425 00:25:19,272 --> 00:25:22,311 I want battlefields with beaten, bloodied bodies. 426 00:25:22,361 --> 00:25:23,957 We're gonna take this little flower... 427 00:25:23,958 --> 00:25:26,557 ...and we're gonna cram it down their throats for their own good. 428 00:25:27,212 --> 00:25:30,941 -What about the critics? -It'll kill 'em all. 429 00:25:35,397 --> 00:25:38,611 "Faster, chakram kill, kill, kill." 430 00:25:39,498 --> 00:25:40,704 Boy. 431 00:25:46,483 --> 00:25:49,094 Kill 'em all! Kill 'em all! 432 00:25:50,796 --> 00:25:54,005 You see? It's from the back of the throat. It's much more guttural. 433 00:25:55,289 --> 00:25:58,406 I mean, we have to believe the anger, the hatred for life. 434 00:25:58,793 --> 00:26:01,197 Ok? Now make that audience shiver. 435 00:26:02,359 --> 00:26:05,568 Kill...! Kill 'em all! 436 00:26:05,842 --> 00:26:09,052 Yeah, they'll shiver, all right. With laughter. 437 00:26:10,819 --> 00:26:12,602 Like you could do better... 438 00:26:13,172 --> 00:26:15,571 -You bet I could. -Well, you can't... 439 00:26:15,572 --> 00:26:17,372 ...'cause I got the part. 440 00:26:20,527 --> 00:26:23,538 That's good. Sell it to the back row! 441 00:26:23,650 --> 00:26:25,599 Gabrielle, dear. 442 00:26:25,609 --> 00:26:28,649 I see you've made some changes. 443 00:26:28,674 --> 00:26:30,865 I hope this won't get in the way of your vision. 444 00:26:30,915 --> 00:26:34,669 No. The vision's fine. Look, we're gonna need a bit more in the way of cash. 445 00:26:34,679 --> 00:26:38,623 More? But, darling, we were very specific about the budget. 446 00:26:38,633 --> 00:26:41,260 -The investors... -If the investors want a hit... 447 00:26:41,261 --> 00:26:43,869 ...they can cough up the cash. You tell them. 448 00:26:43,934 --> 00:26:46,936 And if they don't, I announce bankruptcy and we close the doors... 449 00:26:46,937 --> 00:26:50,507 ...but I am not going to take this bird out until she can fly. 450 00:26:51,164 --> 00:26:54,291 -Well, I'll see what I can do. -Good. 451 00:26:58,221 --> 00:27:00,835 Ok. Can you lift her up? Lift her up. 452 00:27:01,180 --> 00:27:03,783 But, sweet of my tooth, if she increases the budget... 453 00:27:03,784 --> 00:27:06,826 -...She reduces our profit. I know. -We could just let her shut down. 454 00:27:06,836 --> 00:27:10,618 I mean, this travesty of a mockery of a play comes to an end and we're home. 455 00:27:10,628 --> 00:27:12,237 And what, my little addlebrain? 456 00:27:12,238 --> 00:27:14,304 The investors would come at us, the money people. 457 00:27:14,329 --> 00:27:16,740 No. No, no. We have to come up with something... 458 00:27:16,750 --> 00:27:19,740 ...before Gabrielle turns us into a legitimate enterprise. 459 00:27:19,750 --> 00:27:21,531 We could ask the warlords for more money. 460 00:27:21,532 --> 00:27:23,894 I'm already pushing the limit on their percentages as it is. 461 00:27:23,919 --> 00:27:26,065 Well, the warlord Cleon is in town. 462 00:27:26,066 --> 00:27:29,502 Cleon? Are you kidding? Cleon fund a play about Xena? 463 00:27:29,555 --> 00:27:33,532 He hates Xena. She defeated him twice, humilitated him in battle. 464 00:27:37,530 --> 00:27:39,983 But with the right sales pitch... 465 00:27:40,640 --> 00:27:43,839 I get chills when that delicious brain of yours clicks. 466 00:27:45,186 --> 00:27:46,481 May I kiss you? 467 00:27:46,521 --> 00:27:47,939 -Stop it. -Sorry. 468 00:27:49,780 --> 00:27:52,610 Put the hot tub, center stage. 469 00:27:52,660 --> 00:27:55,452 I want the audience to get an eyeful. 470 00:27:55,462 --> 00:27:58,150 Pollena, Pollena, no, no. You need to grin wildly. 471 00:27:58,193 --> 00:28:00,402 Like you can't wait to hack him into pieces... 472 00:28:00,403 --> 00:28:02,400 ...before you chop his head off. 473 00:28:02,835 --> 00:28:05,763 "This is for you, Humungus, you vile bastard!" 474 00:28:05,796 --> 00:28:06,985 Do you get it? 475 00:28:12,348 --> 00:28:16,516 What am I doing? All this sex, blood, violence... 476 00:28:17,032 --> 00:28:18,616 Have I gone crazy? 477 00:28:19,018 --> 00:28:20,031 Gabrielle... 478 00:28:20,248 --> 00:28:22,639 We just sold out the first night! 479 00:28:23,284 --> 00:28:25,512 Crazy like a fox! 480 00:28:25,593 --> 00:28:28,993 I want more blood! Let's make it gushing! 481 00:28:36,277 --> 00:28:39,479 How'd you get Gabrielle to spill all of Xena's weaknesses? 482 00:28:39,489 --> 00:28:42,670 Simple. By having her write and direct a play about her friend. 483 00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:46,150 -And she told everything, right, Milo? -Everything. 484 00:28:46,240 --> 00:28:49,829 If anyone could get to Xena, it would be that little friend of hers. 485 00:28:53,928 --> 00:28:55,941 -I'm in. -Perfect! 486 00:29:08,857 --> 00:29:12,972 Listen now and you will hear 487 00:29:12,973 --> 00:29:17,274 The action-packed tale of Xena 488 00:29:17,275 --> 00:29:21,418 Xena, Xena 489 00:29:21,419 --> 00:29:25,160 Xena, Warrior Princess 490 00:29:33,507 --> 00:29:35,918 -I'm really wet! -Me too! 491 00:29:40,264 --> 00:29:41,102 Xena! 492 00:29:41,103 --> 00:29:43,646 I've been searching for you high and low! 493 00:29:43,696 --> 00:29:47,896 Please help rid my kingdom of that scourge... Humungus. 494 00:29:49,315 --> 00:29:52,322 Xena, it's the warlord Humungus! Help me! 495 00:30:06,912 --> 00:30:08,303 Inspirational... 496 00:30:17,733 --> 00:30:19,809 Please, say it again. How much do we stand to make? 497 00:30:19,810 --> 00:30:21,810 What can I say? A lot! 498 00:30:24,383 --> 00:30:25,783 I saw the play. 499 00:30:27,144 --> 00:30:29,216 I can explain. You know what they say. 500 00:30:29,226 --> 00:30:31,246 A bad dress rehearsal... Great opening night. 501 00:30:31,247 --> 00:30:33,442 -I loved it. -You did? 502 00:30:33,467 --> 00:30:36,583 The power... The passion... The danger... 503 00:30:36,608 --> 00:30:39,270 The blood... The kick-butt feel! 504 00:30:39,320 --> 00:30:41,510 This show is gonna run for years. 505 00:30:44,091 --> 00:30:46,889 He... actually liked it? 506 00:30:47,113 --> 00:30:49,498 -This is not good. -If the play's a success, we're... 507 00:30:49,523 --> 00:30:51,907 Don't say the "Delta" word. 508 00:30:56,005 --> 00:30:57,808 The other warlord, Therax. 509 00:31:01,482 --> 00:31:02,885 What could have happened? 510 00:31:02,935 --> 00:31:05,592 That Joxer... He was right on the money. 511 00:31:05,695 --> 00:31:07,976 We have to get Gabrielle back to that boring,... 512 00:31:07,977 --> 00:31:10,566 ...pretentious, heavy-handed material we fell in love with. 513 00:31:10,567 --> 00:31:12,569 -Yes. -Now, girls! 514 00:31:12,594 --> 00:31:15,276 Darlings! Congratulations! 515 00:31:15,301 --> 00:31:18,137 -Congratulations. -Your play is already the talk of the town. 516 00:31:18,138 --> 00:31:22,215 I ran into one of the investors, the warlor Kaelus, the Conqueror. 517 00:31:22,273 --> 00:31:25,881 He snuck into rehearsal and what he saw just blew him away. 518 00:31:26,595 --> 00:31:29,411 I have never seen anyone so galvanized as he was. 519 00:31:29,501 --> 00:31:30,500 Galvanized. 520 00:31:30,501 --> 00:31:33,103 He said he wanted his entire army to see the play. 521 00:31:34,087 --> 00:31:36,669 How many in his army? We got a matinee that hasn't sold out yet. 522 00:31:36,679 --> 00:31:39,198 Apparently, he's planning on invading a neighboring country and, well... 523 00:31:39,208 --> 00:31:42,882 ...your play is certain to fire up his army! Goodbye, darlings! 524 00:31:42,907 --> 00:31:44,892 -Goodbye, darlings! -See you opening night! 525 00:31:46,840 --> 00:31:49,235 -Oh, my gods. -What? 526 00:31:49,966 --> 00:31:51,367 What have I done? 527 00:31:51,512 --> 00:31:54,211 Well, apparently, you've created a great motivational play. 528 00:31:54,212 --> 00:31:55,595 For warlords. 529 00:31:55,769 --> 00:31:57,768 I sold out, Joxer. 530 00:31:57,769 --> 00:31:59,568 I can't believe it. I sold out. 531 00:32:01,080 --> 00:32:03,510 Look, we are going back to my original vision. 532 00:32:03,577 --> 00:32:05,711 I don't care how much money we lose. 533 00:32:06,368 --> 00:32:10,178 It's going to be peace, love, and changing the world. 534 00:32:28,742 --> 00:32:30,965 -"A message of peace". -Yep. 535 00:32:31,232 --> 00:32:33,799 Great. No pretensions, no ego. 536 00:32:33,824 --> 00:32:35,439 -Nope. -Gotta hurry! 537 00:32:35,440 --> 00:32:37,621 -People should arrive soon. -Right. 538 00:32:39,877 --> 00:32:42,762 A Joxer Production 539 00:33:02,100 --> 00:33:02,914 Gabrielle... 540 00:33:03,541 --> 00:33:05,646 Criticus, from Borias, is in the audience right now. 541 00:33:05,656 --> 00:33:08,977 Don't worry. He's gonna love it. Your vision's great. 542 00:33:09,267 --> 00:33:10,457 Thank you. 543 00:33:56,091 --> 00:33:58,490 Welcome to the premiere performance... 544 00:33:58,612 --> 00:34:01,972 ...of "Gabrielle and Xena... A message of peace". 545 00:34:02,911 --> 00:34:06,639 If you're looking for titillation, blood, violence,... 546 00:34:06,744 --> 00:34:08,766 ...you've come to the wrong place. 547 00:34:10,395 --> 00:34:11,811 What's she up to? 548 00:34:11,836 --> 00:34:14,831 Behold the love, the peace... 549 00:34:15,072 --> 00:34:16,870 ...and be changed. 550 00:34:24,542 --> 00:34:27,134 Xena, fearless, noble,... 551 00:34:27,144 --> 00:34:30,544 ...a mighty princess forged in the heat of battle. 552 00:34:30,594 --> 00:34:34,275 How many lives have been saved by your warrior heart... 553 00:34:34,300 --> 00:34:36,609 ...once you learned to empty it? 554 00:34:45,407 --> 00:34:49,330 -Joxer, what's up, bubba? -Danger, violence, blood. 555 00:34:49,370 --> 00:34:51,769 No, that was the good version. 556 00:34:54,650 --> 00:34:57,035 ...that antisocial way! 557 00:34:57,045 --> 00:34:59,660 King Whatsis, take us to Humungus. 558 00:34:59,710 --> 00:35:01,126 We will bring him... 559 00:35:01,136 --> 00:35:03,582 -A message of peace. -A message of peace. 560 00:35:07,541 --> 00:35:09,763 Joxer, we're in the middle of a scene. 561 00:35:15,027 --> 00:35:16,232 Bad guy! 562 00:35:17,559 --> 00:35:19,601 No one takes my money and gets away with it! 563 00:35:19,651 --> 00:35:22,141 -You're coming with me! -Humungus... Cleon... 564 00:35:22,151 --> 00:35:23,731 That's right, Cleon. 565 00:35:24,061 --> 00:35:26,332 If I can't get the secrets of defeating Xena... 566 00:35:26,333 --> 00:35:28,320 ...at least I'll get her little friend. 567 00:35:32,568 --> 00:35:35,170 Go away. You're not even a good actress. 568 00:35:35,740 --> 00:35:38,324 That was a little uncalled for. 569 00:35:42,615 --> 00:35:43,373 Xena? 570 00:35:44,791 --> 00:35:47,246 Xena? 571 00:35:47,247 --> 00:35:48,634 What are you doing here? 572 00:35:48,635 --> 00:35:51,133 Gabrielle, I knew there'd be trouble when I saw the playbill. 573 00:35:51,158 --> 00:35:54,828 It listed Zera as the contact. She's the queen of cons. 574 00:35:54,853 --> 00:35:56,371 The queen of cons? 575 00:35:56,381 --> 00:35:59,028 -What have you done to my play? -Your play? 576 00:35:59,421 --> 00:36:01,018 I put up the money! 577 00:36:02,021 --> 00:36:04,360 Where's the blood? The death? 578 00:36:04,361 --> 00:36:06,202 Where's all the fun? 579 00:36:06,819 --> 00:36:08,008 Get them! 580 00:36:09,266 --> 00:36:11,962 -Come on! -No time to talk. 581 00:36:12,934 --> 00:36:14,330 It's time to act. 582 00:36:57,027 --> 00:36:58,666 Somebody stop them! 583 00:37:01,530 --> 00:37:04,126 Interactive theater! Everybody join in! 584 00:37:25,135 --> 00:37:26,583 A centaur! 585 00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:39,188 Time to give the crowd what they want! 586 00:37:39,506 --> 00:37:41,068 Hey, pee-wee. 587 00:38:00,802 --> 00:38:04,138 The play's not bad. I just don't buy that Xena. 588 00:38:04,709 --> 00:38:08,311 There's the opening of "Buffus, the bacchae-slayer" across the street. 589 00:39:18,115 --> 00:39:19,615 Here's your money. 590 00:39:19,616 --> 00:39:22,208 At least what Zera and Milo didn't spend. 591 00:39:22,486 --> 00:39:23,912 You can keep it... 592 00:39:23,913 --> 00:39:26,955 ...or, in the spirit of the play, you could donate it to an orphanage. 593 00:39:27,488 --> 00:39:29,079 It's your call. 594 00:39:30,860 --> 00:39:32,060 Orphanage. 595 00:39:32,511 --> 00:39:33,895 Excellent choice. 596 00:39:35,166 --> 00:39:36,901 As for you, Zera... 597 00:39:36,900 --> 00:39:37,773 Xena... 598 00:39:37,774 --> 00:39:39,961 I've seen the error of my ways. Starting now... 599 00:39:39,962 --> 00:39:41,977 ...I'm gonna find a legitimate career that best... 600 00:39:41,978 --> 00:39:43,605 ...suits my natural abilities. 601 00:39:44,877 --> 00:39:46,067 Dustinus! 602 00:39:46,477 --> 00:39:49,478 I've been watching you and I am impressed, darling. 603 00:39:49,568 --> 00:39:51,682 Have you ever considered changing representation? 604 00:39:51,888 --> 00:39:53,710 I'm opening a new agency. 605 00:39:54,451 --> 00:39:55,651 Very well. 606 00:39:56,402 --> 00:39:59,446 But what I really want to do is direct. 607 00:40:02,252 --> 00:40:04,443 It was stupid... 608 00:40:04,693 --> 00:40:08,109 ...To think that people would want to hear about peace and love... 609 00:40:08,825 --> 00:40:10,912 ...instead of sex and violence. 610 00:40:11,656 --> 00:40:15,056 Well, peace might be boring, but it's all anybody really wants. 611 00:40:15,057 --> 00:40:17,645 Yeah. No one wants to be preached to. 612 00:40:17,790 --> 00:40:19,976 They have to experience things for themselves. 613 00:40:19,978 --> 00:40:22,044 Still, if I could have touched one person... 614 00:40:22,045 --> 00:40:25,884 Gabrielle! I wanted to thank you! I never would have met Pollena if it wasn't for you! 615 00:40:25,885 --> 00:40:28,102 In fact, the two of you made me realize something... 616 00:40:28,103 --> 00:40:31,005 ...deep down about myself that I guess I always knew... 617 00:40:31,006 --> 00:40:33,424 ...but just didn't dare admit. 618 00:40:34,042 --> 00:40:37,698 Yes... I'm a thespian. 619 00:40:44,525 --> 00:40:45,722 Congratulations. 620 00:40:45,932 --> 00:40:48,334 You managed to touch someone. 621 00:40:49,174 --> 00:40:51,064 That's not exactly what I had in mind. 622 00:40:51,114 --> 00:40:54,847 I wanted to change violent people into people of peace, not actors. 623 00:40:54,897 --> 00:40:57,698 That is what she said, right? Deep down she's a thespian... 624 00:40:57,708 --> 00:41:00,700 -Yeah, that's what she said. -Why? What'd you think? 625 00:41:00,990 --> 00:41:04,220 Thespian... Doesn't it look like...? 626 00:41:09,103 --> 00:41:10,522 Hello! 627 00:41:12,584 --> 00:41:13,984 You guys? 628 00:41:16,626 --> 00:41:18,025 Hey! 629 00:41:18,906 --> 00:41:20,901 I'm the producer! 630 00:41:22,369 --> 00:41:24,168 Anybody? 631 00:41:24,599 --> 00:41:26,213 Hello! 632 00:41:26,806 --> 00:41:29,018 I'm gonna tell my brother! 633 00:41:29,945 --> 00:41:31,333 Mommy! 634 00:41:31,620 --> 00:41:35,000 Subtitles: Marlon Rocha Lacerda www.joxer.com.br 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net 48502

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