Original subtitles

That'll be 8 and 6.

8 and 6 what?

8 shillings and 6 pence, madam.

-Shilling? -Penny.

Perhaps I could do it. Just take what I need.

No, no. If I'm to live in London I've got to learn the money.

You're quite right.

-Excuse me, I'm sorry. -I beg your pardon.

That'll be one of these, and one of these.

It would be two of these, wouldn't it?

I beg your pardon but I am in a hurry. Perhaps I could be of some help.

Look,

the lady is going to live in England, she's gotta learn the money.

What's the trouble here?

Oh, there's no trouble, officer. I'm just learning about 8 and 6.

Can I help you, madam?

She's going to live in England, she's got to learn the money.

That's right.

Gentlemen, do you mind if I try once alone?

Now, two of these make 5 shillings.

No, madam. The large ones.

Those are florins. They are only worth 2 shillings.

It's half-pence, pence, trapence, sixpence, shillings, florins, half crowns.

And we call a shilling a bob, six pence a tenner, and a pound a nicker.

A nicker?

This is ridiculous. Why can't we all use the same money?

We had intended to. But your American Revolution, you know.

Well.

That's far too much.

Believe me, your bearing did.

Fine. Send them over here to the company flat and I'll sign them.

Like it? I love it.

I think I'll keep it and make the company find another apartment to entertain them.

Is that all, Miss Hackett?

A cable from the Paris man? Read that.

Mike, I found it.

It's a beautiful house.

I want him at that meeting.

Now you call this Mr. Simmons and make that clear __ .

It's not exactly in the heart of town. It's in Kent.

But it's only 3 miles out.

This Mr. Pickering is a beaut too. Was my memo that hard to understand?

I told him to find some designers so we could see what our wool looks like on a pretty back.

So it's new for Bert Woolens.

If I'm going to take over this company I wanna make a few innovations.

I'll talk to you tomorrow.

Aren't you excited?

-About what? -About the house.

-What house? -The house I found.

And honey, our furniture will fit perfectly.

Of course, we __ will need some new things

but I always have a ball shopping for antiques in England.

Wait a minute, Janet.

Where did you find a house in this part of London?

You haven't heard a word of what I said.

It's in Kent.

Darling, you'll adore it.

It's has a big yard and a beautiful garden.

And a brook.

We have our own brook.

And the real estate man said that the train service into London is marvelous.

Where did all this come from?

You were supposed to find an apartment.

On this block if possible.

I told you this morning at breakfast that I was looking in the country.

-You told me? -I told you and you said "good".

You were reading the paper at the time __ but that's what it sounded like to me.

I said "good".

Well, you didn't exactly say it, you grunted it.

But it was your good grunt.

It's perfect for us.

You'll just fall madly in love when you see it.

I hope I didn't smash anything.

I'm trying to get the knack of driving on the right side.

I'd suggest that one,

Mr. Elborn, the red roses go against the south wall.

They are a bit keen on sun.

And it's left side going, right side coming.

Are you about ready? I'm gonna get the 9:23.

I'm ready.

I've got to drive way downtown.

Good. Take it all the way to the station.

You're Janet, I'm Vanessa Courtwright.

Here's a hunting prince you can hide __

You're Mike.

Put that down there, gaby.

Throw your arms around me, I'm your landlady.

You've been here a week. I thought it was time I popped in.

I say you're positively handsome, I'm gonna like you.

Thank you, Mrs...

From now on you're Janet, and Mike, I'm Vanessa.

That way you'll be less likely to complain when the house falls in.

It's a marvelous house.

It's just what we've always wanted.

God knows I never wanted it. It was in my husband's will.

You are such a pretty thing. You were meant for Mayfair.

I can't possibly see why you want to live out here in the woods.

Amen.

We just love it out here.

And I have a million ideas.

Would you excuse us? Janet, the train station.

Are you ready? I've been ready for hours.

I won't be long. I'll be right back.

Mrs. Ordley, will you make some tea for Mrs. Courtwright?

Don't bother, I'll look around and have some sherry.

I think it's in one of these boxes.

Janet, honey.

Go on, madam.

I'll see you later.

The gardener gave me a shortcut.

He said we go by way of Twombley and cut down over a mile.

Sorry.

Pretty soon you'll have more shirts at the office than you do at home.

I was gonna bring some handkerchiefs but I couldn't find any.

I hide them.

I keep hoping you'll the sniffle and you'll have to come home.

I'll be home tonight, early.

You wanna bet?

You tell me that every morning.

And every night I reheat your dinner.

Honey, I said I'll be home. That's if I ever get to work.

That must be the Twombley turn up ahead.

I sure wish the train stops at Bramble Heath.

I'm sure the station is right around this next bend.

I hope so.

It has to be. We're down the last Twombley.

It has been an hour and a half and we haven't even seen a station.

What's the matter now?

I'm terribly sorry to have to ask you to stop.

But it's the first cuckoo of the season.

I wonder if I might ask you to wait a mo.

I'm very late.

The slightest distraction and... It's nesting.

Can we look?

I've never seen a baby cuckoo.

Tomorrow I may walk.

Good paved road ahead.

Probably the Pennsylvania Turnpike.

Sir, would you mind backing up just a little, please?

Darling, if you don't mind my saying so,

I think we should stop at that house and ask

Darling, if you don't mind my saying so,

it won't do us much good, that's our house!

Would like to take a taxi to the station, now we had to take a tour of England.

I'm sorry. It could happen to anybody.

-I'll get the right direction. -Don't ask that gardener.

It got to be 11, we were wondering if something had gone wrong.

You're a lifesaver.

Mike, look. Somebody's dog.

Honey, my secretary's here.

Don't be scared.

I'll take care of you. Your heart is just pounding.

I'm going in with her.

What kind of a pup...

You're a fox!

No wonder you were scared. You're hiding.

I said down!

You should certainly be ashamed of yourselves.

Madam, may we please have our fox there?

No, you may not.

And you ought to be ashamed of yourselves too.

Chasing a poor defenseless little thing like this.

It's absolutely inhuman. That's what it is.

Why don't you go chase yourselves, see how you like it.

Could we compromise?

Yeah, I'll compromise with you.

I'll keep the fox and you get off my property.

It's very difficult for us providing a fox.

Did you ever see anything like that?

Frankly, no.

Tell me, why didn't you get to the station?

Station? Where is Mike?

He left.

He's been collected by a very pretty chauffeur.

What?

I don't pretend to know all the answers.

__ first two weeks anyway.

and I cannot blame the product, that's damn good wool.

What I am gonna find out is why nobody in Europe buys us.

The buying season starts with the Paris fabric fair next month.

We're gonna surprise our mill and come back with a few contracts.

Congratulations.

If you'll excuse me I'll get back to work.

Mr. Simmons,

could you and I have a little chat?

Yes.

Hello.

Yes.

Of course they're merely __ to give you and idea.

This McDorfin design is for town and country.

It shows __ black and brown __ tweed.

Another McDorfin. In purple and black tweed.

Why do we drown these pretty ladies in wool?

Sir, we sell woolens.

Yes, but couldn't we hint that there's a beautiful woman

somewhere in the vicinity of the garment?

Do you mind?

Mrs. Harper.

Hi.

Hi, honey.

I've got so much to tell you. I spent the whole day with Vanessa.

And we've just been everywhere.

She knows everybody there is to know.

By the way, we get our phone first thing in the morning.

Good. you'll be able to call here more often, dear.

Oh, Mike, Vanessa's been so helpful.

She even arranged to establish our credit at the market.

At the Armongers.

Do you know what that is? It's a hardware store.

That's one of the reasons why I called you.

To tell me a hardware store is called Armongers?

No. I want you to bring a 3-pronged plug.

Where am I gonna find a 3-pronged plug?

There must be one somewhere.

I'll try.

Goodbye, Janet.

Goodbye, darling.

9 pence?

I wish it were 8 and 6.

Wait a minute, operator.

That's three cabbage copper ones.

And one silver one.

Yes, I know, operator.

I know it's the size of an American dime, but I just don't have one.

Can you take an American dime?

Tell me why we're so good at not selling wool.

I'm a salesman, and quite good.

I'm sure we don't have any bad one.

Tell me why all these wonderful salesmen are all avoiding our contract.

We were for Bert Woolens.

Willy Langsdorf does not like Bert Woolens.

Willy Langsdorf?

Is he the only customer on the continent?

He's the only one that counts.

Ski pants Langsdorf. Two million pairs a year.

He doesn't buy, the others wonder, they don't buy.

they follow him like little ducks.

That narrows it down. What does this Langsdorf have against us?

You.

And all the other men that sat at that desk.

There's something about Bert general managers that keep shutting us out of doors.

No man...

But a good salesman should break doors.

Not in Europe. It's bad taste.

They don't buy and sell in Europe. They play it buying and selling.

And you must play harder that anybody else.

You must make the name Bert something to remember with a smile.

Thank you.

You really know your martinis.

I'm getting back into practice.

This recipe for doing business, was a secret all these years?

No. But once they put it __ something always goes wrong with it.

Parsons, the man you replaced, he went to Paris last year,

__ intentions, and promptly died from a bowl of bouillabaisse.

McGregor before him brought his wife to the Paris meeting.

Wait a minute. You're losing me.

Something Langsdorf started.

If you want to be part of his crowd you do not bring your wife.

If you're afraid of being alone you can always bring a... friend.

But not your wife.

Make it sound like an army reunion.

It's fun and games.

Absurd, ridiculous, childish? Yes.

But it's also ski pants. Two million a year.

__ even crack __ buy.

Not to be __ disregarded the care and feeding of the __

In fact there's one in London right now just for a few hours.

Culkos, a Greek manufacturer. He should be entertained tonight.

Oh, no, wait a minute. My wife's planning a quiet dinner tonight.

My first evening home in four days.

There is an evening tomorrow night.

That card table looks so silly.

It's the first thing on my list, a Georgian dining set.

Perfect.

By the way, madam the lamb's on.

Is it that late?

I better get dressed.

What are you doing eating my plants again?

You'll never __ a goat, madam. if you keep feeding him all the time.

I know.

Don't forget the candles.

Giving some sort of a holyday?

I hope so.

Oh, Wellington, what on earth! Now, you go out.

It was a pleasure, Miss Hackett.

You made my short stay in London most enjoyable.

Thank you.

I'm seeing Langsdorf this weekend. And I must tell him.

A man with Bert Woolens who can order a wine.

Thank you. Have a nice flight.

I've put all the food away.

__

That's very sweet of you.

I want you to go, you have your right.

Thank you, doctor.

we were simply fascinated by your thrilling discussion

of the rock formations in Central Peru.

Next week professor Smithers will bring us an exciting lecture on Babylonian writing utensils.

And now music for cogitating with the Ochney highland bagpipes.

I guess I can just __ last train.

My car knows the way to Kent.

Mine doesn't even know the way to the station.

Is a secretary of 2-weeks standing allowed to be proud of her boss?

I'd like to tell __

You're a goat.

Mike, is that you?

It was me, before I was electrocuted.

Are you hurt?

Half a million volts never hurt anybody.

That's why I tortured you to bring a 3-ponged plug.

And you certainly took your time finding one.

The telegram explained.

What telegram?

I sent you a wire.

Well, where is it?

I haven't the faintest idea. But I've got a better question.

Is there some reason we have a goat in the living room?

His name is Wellington.

His name is Wellington.

That explains why he was in the living room.

I don't know why he was in the living-room.

The last time I saw him he was out in the back nibbling an empty paint can.

I didn't have very much to do this evening.

So I thought I would touch up a few things.

Do you have to paint everything inside?

I didn't paint everything inside.

I painted the bread box, a __ table and that chair you're sitting on.

Janet, look at that!

What else you got planned for tonight, a flood maybe?

You had to pick __ house in the country.

What is wrong with a house in the country?

Nothing if it's the same country I live in.

A million apartments in town and not many of them come with goats.

Does it make any difference where we live?

I mean, really?

Janet, I'm tired.

You never wanna talk.

I don't feel like arguing.

Why not?

It'll be the first time in 3 years that we communicated.

Even your telegrams don't reach me.

I want to have an argument.

You have an argument, I'll __ the bed.

I guess I'll have to face it.

All I am to you is a wife.

Of course you're my wife, That was the general idea when we got married.

It's been 5 years.

Is that a reason to take me for granted?

You do, you know.

You don't even remember our anniversary anymore.

It's today?

No, it's not today.

Then why do you bring it up?

Because it's typical, that's why.

What happens to marriages after 5 years?

We used to go shopping together, do things together.

When I bought a new jersey you admired it.

When I had my hair done you told me it looked nice.

Okay, so you've got nice hair.

Just because I forget to say a few things doesn't mean I take you for granted.

All I know is the way things are with us now

I'd be rather honeymooning __ alone.

Why not? You'd probably spend the whole trip painting the hotel room.

You know something? You make it sound tempting.

And what does that mean?

Whatever you wanted to mean.

Are you suggesting a divorce?

Three o'clock in the morning is no time to be telling your husband you're drifting apart.

I'll get it.

It's another fox looking for a place to stay.

That's very funny.

And don't do me any favors, I'll get it.

You would, wouldn't you?

You would let me go down there all by myself.

All right, we'll both go.

__

Let me tell you __ about life

Mrs. Ordley is sleeping.

Mrs. Ordley __ my words.

What about me?

Have you ever considered the fact that I'm here in work?

Doesn't that bother you?

That's why we have this house. So you can relax on weekends.

How do you relax in a warehouse?

While I am home I keep dreaming of the plumber, the carpenter the plasters...

We have more help than __ hotel.

Maybe __ once in a while.

Telegram for Mrs. Harper.

Thank you.

Well?

It's from you.

It says you won't be home for dinner tonight.

I am sorry I yelled.

I am sorry too.

You know something?

This house does look like a warehouse.

Darling, I will try very hard

and maybe next weekend I'll be able to play country squire.

You're panting.

You put on a little weight.

That's a terrible thing to say.

Put me down.

Who ever heard of a honeymoon alone?

I forgot, honey, the door is __

The carpenter over here first thing in the morning

take all the hinges off __ down

I'll tell Mr. Belari that you were in. He'll be devastated for not being here.

I've just got to get that house in order.

Are there any other antique dealers that we might visit today?

Paul Belari is the only one.

If he doesn't have it here he'll have it in one his other shops.

I mean, he'll do your house in half the time.

I hope so because my husband is very uncomfortable.

Do you know that he stayed in town two nights this week?

At the company flat.

And I must say I just don't blame him.

I never used to let my Archie sleep out except for 3 years during the war.

Then I didn't think it was proper to make a fuss.

If we have nothing better to do, we might as well have tea.

Yes, we might as well.

It's too early for martinis.

I've got a marvelous idea.

Why don't you drop in on Mike?

Mrs. Harper?

I'm so sorry to have kept you waiting.

That's all right.

I was just admiring your lovely fabrics.

Mr. Harper is at the company flat. I called. You'll be very welcome.

I don't think so.

Thank you, Ms. Hackett.

I'm Ms. Lynch.

What happened to Ms. Hackett?

-Ms. Hackett is his assistant now. -I almost forgot about that.

-Everything all right? -Excellent.

You are doing a marvellous job.

Thank you.

Excuse me, lady,

would you mind telling me why we drove around the block one extra time?

I just want to get as close as possible to 8 and 6.

8 and 6!

It's all I've learned, 8 and 6.

Thanks.

Thanks very much.

-I'm Mrs. Harper. -I know, I'm Ms. Hackett. -Oh, hello.

My husband asked me to come up.

__ I didn't think you really wanted to come.

It's a dull gathering.

It doesn't sound dull.

-It's so nice to see you again. -Thank you.

The last time I saw you you were holding a fox.

Do forgive me, Mr. Sharod is looking for the vermuth.

May I have your coat?

Thank you.

Excuse me. I've got a surprise visit.

-Darling. -Hi!

The office said I should come up.

Sure it's okay.

-Mr. Harper, I have to leave. -Oh, I'm sorry.

You go on, sweetie, I'm fine.

Good afternoon.

Thank you very much.

-What is this? -Smoked yak.

It is the favorite food of my people.

Mr. Harper knows how to please.

Yes, he does.

Marvelous.

Actually I think the smoked yak is better than the regular yak.

You like our kind of food.

There is a cafe in soho.

Perhaps this evening you and I could...

-Honey, you all right? -I'm doing fine.

You and Mr. Harper are...

Too bad. I was going to suggest another place. In Kensington.

Very romantic music.

It is the music of the desert...

-Sorry Mr. Harper. -Don't worry about it.

Claire, honey, will you give me a handkerchief?

Someone always has to spill a drink. And poor Mike never has a handkerchief.

I bought him half a dozen. I knew they'd come in handy.

Don't worry about it.

It's a very simple matter.

Simple?

Of course. Mike isn't the only unfaithful husband in the world.

I bet there are plenty running around London now.

They could elect their own member of parliament.

I don't care about the others.

Naturally.

You have a fine husband, my dear.

I'd go for him myself.

We'll get it back.

Who shall we use for you, Teddy or __

I don't want a lawyer.

You are not going to hire a lawyer. We're going to find you a lover.

-A what? -A lover.

Vanessa!

What would I do with a lover?

Among other things use him to get your husband back.

-Good morning. -Good morning.

-Who sent the flowers? -Vanessa.

What's the big occasion?

If you wanna know the truth

you're supposed to think they are from a secret admirer and become very jealous.

I asked her not to do it.

Thanks for telling me.

One of us should be honest __ both bored, don't you think?

Janet, I've got the sneaky feeling you are trying to communicate again.

Do you mind if I have some coffee first?

Didn't you think I'd find out?

I mean, sometime?

-Find out what? -About her.

I saw her clothes at the flat.

Whose clothes?

Claire Hackett's. That's whose. A whole closet full!

A whole closet full! Wait a minute.

You don't mean the six outfits from the showing.

No, I don't mean...

What showing?

I'm in the wool business. We have showings.

How suspicious can you get?

That's why you left the party so suddenly.

When do you find time to be suspicious?

One fashion show and then you and your little grumbling buddy are off and running.

If you'd examined the clothes more carefully you would have seen the tags on them.

They looked like her size.

How __ Why didn't you ask me?

Oh, no, you had to run after little Miss Dorothy __ of Mayfair.

They were her style too.

Here's a package for Mrs. Harper.

Here's a package for Mrs. Harper.

I'll tell you what I'm gonna do.

I'll Have a shower, shave, get dressed and plan my lecturer's pursuits for the day.

And she doesn't have to buy your handkerchiefs anymore either.

Elisabeth in love, poems.

Yesterday it was perfume, the day before __

A real lover...

I mean, a real lover, just wouldn't be this obvious.

You sound as furious.

I could get very angry if I didn't know that this was just also stupid.

Have you told Vanessa that I'm going to Scotland?

She could take a __

She doesn't have to go through all this trouble because I won't be here to be jealous.

Hello.

Hello.

Hello!

That's a part of your little game?

What game?

Vanessa certainly wouldn't go that far.

I could have driven you. I'm getting very good at it now.

Hello.

Hello!

There must be something wrong with that telephone.

Or one of us has a very bashful friend.

I'll call you from Scotland.

Have a good flight, sweetie.

And don't eat anything Remember you get __

Mr. Larson.

Good bye!

I'll take that.

She's getting bolder, sending cards now, huh?

__ Paul Belari.

Mike!

You forget your bag!

Belari?

Cecil Graves. May I help you, sir?

-Where's Belari? -He's at an auction, sir.

You give him a message from my card writer.

Tell him to stop pussyfooting around my wife or he'll be taking up teeth all over London, okay?

I may not see him before I leave today.

Would it be all right if I left him a note?

-What are you doing here? -You forgot your bag.

I was gonna send someone for it.

You also forgot to read the other side of the card that came with the flowers.

What?

I have never met Paul Belari.

He was coming to the house for the first time.

He couldn't keep his appointment so he sent flowers.

I miss appointments and I don't send flowers.

But he is different. He is continental.

Well, I'm sorry.

Why didn't you tell me before?

I nearly __ with the little man at Belari shop.

Oh, no. That nice Mr. Graves?

You didn't hurt him.

How can you hit a little man who wears a wing collar?

The florist I got the __ from.

The florist too?

Let's forget him. I made a fool of myself, okay.

What do you know?

Vanessa's game worked!

You really believed those gifts were sent to me from an admirer.

Why would I believe a thing like that?

Well, you did.

And I think I'm glad.

I'm glad you think you're glad.

Hello.

Hello.

I'm Paul Belari.

-You are Mrs. Harper. -Oh, yes. I'm Mrs. Harper.

I'm pleased to meet you.

-I thought that you were at an auction. -I was.

I do wish you would have phoned.

I thought of it.

But after your husband's visit to my shop I was very ques to see you.

But maybe you wouldn't have wanted to see me.

To die at you husband's hands, without really knowing why or for whom,

wouldn't be fair.

My husband is awfully sorry about all that.

He just feels terrible.

I respect a man who fights __

Shall I get to work?

I don't know now because of the circumstances and all..

The circumstances are past.

We can start with this room.

It seems to need a little help.

Or any room.

Some of the animals in the neighborhood seem to have adapted to us.

This will be very interesting.

Fascinating

Look, it's a Georgian dining room set.

I recognize it from my decorator's book.

A good copy.

It looks antique.

We could fix it up or... Strip it and...

Do you want a copy?

All I want is to have my anniversary dinner

on a table that doesn't wobble.

With that you eat. With true Georgian you dine.

We must find you Georgian __

George, go through this list, will you?

-I'll get __ to the mill. -Okay.

-Claire. -Come in.

You got ready __ mill.

That's appropriate for a mill.

Well, we can't work 24 hours a day, can we?

I thought the nights were cool in Scotland.

A little higher, please.

This room looks so summery. I just love it.

You deserve an extra special lunch.

We'll have lunch in Paris.

In Paris?

-He said "Paris". -He did, madam.

Charming city, Paris.

Some things I bought recently at the riviera have arrived to my Paris shop.

There is a Georgian dining room set.

-True Georgian? -Of course.

For dining?

You can look at it if it pleases you.

But I can't go to Paris.

Why not? Paris is only an hour away.

We could be back by 6 or 7.

But it's another country!

-Isn't it? -Oh, yes.

Ever since William the Conqueror.

But you know that when I go on my first trip to Paris I have to go with Mike.

It is only a thought.

And I am expecting the plumber.

Good reason.

I mentioned it only because of your anniversary.

Never mind.

For the next anniversary you will have you dining set.

Mrs Ordley could take the plumber, couldn't she?

I don't know.

I can't go.

Paris.

Why not!

To Paris.

__ if it tickles your nose.

It does tickle my nose.

This is very early in the day.

There are no hours for champagne.

Nor is there a limit.

Thank you.

Well, this is my street.

It's not the most fashionable street in Paris.

Oh, I love it.

It's real.

Here we are.

Open Sesame.

-It didn't open. -It's locked.

Ali Baba had a key. He pretended not to, but he had one.

-Where are we going? -To my concierge, to get the key.

Oh, monsieur Belari, mais quel surprise.

Maman, j'ai fini.

Allez, dépechez vous. Allez vite vous habiller.

Oú est Alfred?

Alfred must be the husband.

They are getting dressed to go visit their grandmother

and Alfred is helping her from the bistro across the street.

Hello.

Bonjour, ça va?

Bonjour, ça va.

-Madame Belari? -Non, ma petite.

Votre fiancée?

Non, elle est Madame Harper. Elle est américaine.

Américaine?

Oui.

Vous connaisez Rock Hudson?

Cary Grant?

Daniel Boone?

Elle est pas américaine.

Thank you.

Merci beacoup.

Est-ce que vous avez la clef?

What a family!

He wants to share it with you.

Thank you.

That's wine!

Of course, it's wine.

I thought he'd be drinking coke or something.

No, wine!

It is a mother's best friend.

No, thank you.

To refuse is an insult.

Drink, drink.

Well, a little help for our relations.

Au revoir!

Au revoir!

I've got to admit you made them very happy.

They made me happy.

Open.

Look at this bed.

It's an exact copy of Josephine's bed.

Is it really?

How do I look?

-How do you feel? -Like Josephine.

I'm so pleased.

Can we take on the plane with this?

Perhaps we can put it under the seat.

I don't even care how much you cost.

It isn't too expensive, is it?

But for you...

Madame Harper, the dinner was superb.

Now let's have lunch.

Oh, thank you.

I like this place.

Madame, enchanté.

What did he say?

You're a very good kicker.

Pick up your glass.

What are you doing?

I want to bring a toast. To you.

Your first trip to Paris.

-Bottoms up! -Bottoms up!

Are you hungry?

I am too.

The only word that I know of that song is "au revoir"

I'm very glad that's all you know.

Why?

It's a men's song. __ gay.

Is it really?

Like what?

Come on, it can't be that bad.

__

When papa leaves maman

he just says "au revoir for a while"

but she knows he'll return

so she waits wild

the home fire is burnt

au revoir is good bye with a smile.

Is that it?

That's not as gay!

This is my version.

Now give me their version.

__ of new blueprints. Would you like to initial them?

__ wrap it up.

Tomorrow is my wedding anniversary and I may just surprise my wife by remembering it.

Thank you, John.

Hello, Janet.

She's gone off to Paris, sir.

She said she'd be here about 6. __

I'll leave a message. Good bye.

All right, thanks.

What's she doing in Paris?

I can think quite a lot of things.

Thanks a lot, George.

Don't worry. She may have gone to buy perfume, clothes...

She wants to look nice for her anniversary.

Are you kidding?

Downtown __

There are two things my wife can't take: downtown anywhere and a second drink.

♪ When papa

♪ leaves maman

♪ she just says ♪ "au revoir for a while"

♪ But she knows

♪ he'll return

I beg your pardon.

Where do they think they're going?

Home. It's getting foggy out.

Home!

Just in time to get to the airport.

I'm gonna get a taxi, Paul.

Taxi!

Taxi!

Janet, where are you?

I'm looking for a taxi.

Janet, you'll get lost.

Don't worry about me, Paul. I can see perfectly.

You see?

You're not Paul.

My name is Alphonse, mademoiselle.

-Au revoir. -Au revoir.

You're beautiful.

This isn't you either.

Keep on talking, I'll find you.

Would you like to come home with me?

Wellington will love you. He's a goat.

I should have known you would end up with another pet.

Let's get back to the shop.

Wait a minute.

Au revoir, beautiful.

Give me your hand.

That was fun.

I will call the airport.

Watch the steps. Four.

You wouldn't have found me so quickly if it hadn't been for that horse.

Your trip to Paris will be longer than you expected.

I will call a hotel for you.

Why do I need a hotel?

I spoke to the airport. It will not be clear till morning.

They don't know what they're talking.

The Ritz. You'll like that.

We're gonna leave for the airport right now

and we'll get there before it clears.

Janet, don't go outside.

I know all about fog. It comes and goes.

Paul.

How did it happen?

Don't tell me it's locked.

My concierge must have __ while I was calling the airport.

Well, call him and tell him to pull it up.

No, he doesn't have a telephone.

And it can only be opened from the outside.

Well, that's simple. Go outside and open it.

What are you laughing about?

I've never been locked in my shop with a woman before.

With no way out.

You're not serious.

Yes, I am.

Because the shutter on the back door is even thicker than that.

Don't you worry about a thing.

Where is the telephone?

I remember that.

I'm gonna call Mike. I'll tell him what happened.

He'll be laughing all over __

Hello, Mr. Harper.

I just come __ a warmer coat.

Did the missus get our note all right?

No. It was a very nice note.

Is something wrong, sir?

Isn't she home yet? Where is she?

I don't know and you don't know.

She said she wanted to be back by 6.

That's what she kept telling the gentleman.

What gentleman?

Operator, are you sure you checked out that hotel?

Maybe he's going home.

Will you try my home, please?

What?

You don't know my number.

Good evening.

Mike, what do we owe this visit to?

You know __

How do you do?

__ where I can find your furniture buddy, Belari, in Paris?

Will you have a drink?

I don't want a drink. I want to get to my wife.

You mean Janet is in Paris?

Janet is in Paris with that sex maniac you dropped in our lap.

Please, Mike, Paul Belari is a gentleman.

A sophisticated __ gentleman.

Do you think that's a drawback if you're a sex maniac?

What's his address?

You are jumping to conclusions.

All right, Janet is in Paris.

Why do you think she went there? For a loaf of French bread?

If you spent a little more time with her

you'd know that Janet could never do anything wrong.

That's why I wanna see her. I wanna spend some time with her.

What's his address?

Excuse me, operator, will you just keep ringing?

♪ For a while

♪ For a while

Pardon me, op.

Will you just keep ringing?

Just keep on ringing.

It sure is hot.

Operator?

One more tingling?

What?

All right.

There's nobody home.

Paul! Let me out of here!

Where have you been?

I think I had enough.

Shall you forget where you are?

In Paris no one ever has enough of champagne.

And do you know why?

Champagne is a drink of romance

and romance is the soul of Paris.

That's really pretty.

To Paris.

To love.

It tickles.

To the Eiffel Tower.

One week ago we had not even met

and here we are,

locked away from the rest of the world.

It'll be a night to remember.

I think I'm gonna be sick.

Sick?

No, Janet.

You wanna bet?

We are in Paris!

Janet, you can't.

You're awake.

Good morning.

This will make you feel better.

I'll never drink anything containing bubbles.

Don't be silly.

What happened last night?

You had too much champagne and after the champagne...

Never mind, don't tell me.

If you just drink this, it'll make you feel much better.

Nothing to be upset about.

Maybe a hot coffee.

Why did you let me...?

Mike!

Husband?

I will explain everything.

Happy anniversary.

Mike!

Monsieur Langsdorf, telefon.

Er hat gesagt "es is nichts neues".

C'est moi.

My wife from Viena.

She wishes to know if I have arrived safely.

I'll be right back.

I've got meetings most of the __

__

Not a call for you.

Fine. I'm very positive.

I don't know what this is all about but I think you ought to speak to her.

Listen, I've already wished her a happy anniversary.

Langsdorf.

Mr. ski pants himself.

We want to be getting invitations to the party, we'd sell some wool.

George, we shall be there.

Mr. Langsdorf, you haven't met Mike Harper.

How are you doing?

We already know him from our friend Culkos here.

He doesn't look like __ full of bouillabaisse would kill him.

I can hold the bouillabaisse.

And just for desert a little Sachertorte might be nice.

You know about our great Viennese desert.

I'm very big with deserts.

Alicia Petrova.

Something even better than Sachertorte.

You must come to our party this evening.

Thank you, I'll be there.

Perhaps I can help you with a companion for the evening.

I don't really think that'll be necessary.

If you'll excuse me, I have a meeting.

He doesn't need a companion.

He must have his own delicious little pastry.

I met her in London.

For a personal assistant she is a pastry.

Huh, Simmons?

That she is. Excuse me.

We shall see it tonight. __

You are right that he is different for one of the Bert people.

London, Please.

I'd like to speak to Ms. Claire Hackett.

That's Mayfair, 3925.

Mr. Mike Harper's room?

I'll see you tonight. Bye.

I'm sorry, madam. We do not give room numbers.

But you don't understand, I'm...

-Mr. Simmons. -Mrs. Harper.

So nice to see you.

Is Mike in his room? I've got to talk to him.

Come with me.

We got a terrible misunderstanding.

Where are you taking me?

Mrs. Harper, I don't like to __ people's personal lives.

But it would be best if you returned to Kent.

Kent! I don't wanna go to Kent. I'm going to talk to Mike.

He's not in the talking mood.

Then he'll just have to listen.

I'm gonna sit right here and wait for him.

We can't have that.

You have met Ingrid. She is the foreman of our Gothenburg plant.

And your friend?

This is she.

Excuse us, please, we are very late.

Mr. Simmons, I don't know what all this is about.

And what did you mean by "this is she"?

It's difficult to explain.

I couldn't introduce you because you are a... wife.

Of course I'm a wife.

It's a rather ridiculous thing

but men don't bring their wives here to this free days.

What kind of nonsense is this?

It is nonsense. It's also a fact.

I don't believe it.

They're all...

The plant foreman?

Yo no sabía cual vestido comprar. Entonces compré todos.

-She? -She is.

No, I don't think so. That is not likely.

I don't know when you find time to hold meetings.

Sometimes it is rather difficult to get a quorum.

I have not met this jewel.

How would I forget her?

Mr. Langsdorf, this is... Well, you met Mike Harper...

Oh, yes, the personal assistant.

You must come to my party tonight.

Don't disappoint me.

That was close.

Claire Hackett is in London. Take the first plane back and see.

I just can't go home.

At least not until I talk to Mike and I explain him what happened last night.

You don't know, he's just furious with me.

Maybe the __ clerk will know where he is.

He's not here. He won't be back until the party.

Then I'll go to the party.

That's impossible.

It would absolutely ruin Mike if they found out he was here with his wife.

Then they won't find out.

What?

Mr Simmons, leave everything to me.

__

-__ where is she? -I haven't the slightest idea.

Wait a minute.

I didn't answer her calls this morning but now I'm getting really worried.

I thought I __ you on the chin. Where did you get the shiner?

After you cl __ me on the chin,

Janet insisted that I ran after you and explain.

I refused and she...

Janet?

-You're kidding. -No, I'm not kidding.

It's pretty funny.

You're right, it is pretty funny.

What I've been through only because your wife

wanted a dinning room set for your wedding anniversary.

That's why she came here!

That's why she came here.

And she's probably on her way home. Right now.

Wedding anniversary.

Come on. Let's have lunch.

And I'll tell you all about our glamorous night in Paris.

Ich und du Müllers Kuh

Müllers Esel der bist du

Pardon me, is Mr. Harper __ yet?

I am sorry, mademoiselle, His key is still here.

Thank you.

Which one is yours?

I beg your pardon?

Who is your man?

Mike Harper.

Nice.

Don't be surprised if I steal him from you.

Room 207, please.

Operator, Simmons here. Do you have a call for me?

Look, I'll call you back. Thank you.

In the name of Bert Woolens

I forbid you to go to that party.

I am not leaving until I've seen my husband.

Mr. Simmons, this is much more difficult for me...

So good to see you.

I'm looking forward to our meeting tomorrow.

I've seen some of your fabrics and I'm really anxious to talk to you about them.

So am I.

This is monsieur Renard.

This is Claire Hackett.

How do you do?

Excuse me.

May I have your coat?

I am overjoyed that you came to my party, Ms. Hackett.

Thank you.

That's what I call an assistant.

Mr. Langsdorf.

You are quite a salesboy for Bert Woolens.

I think I'll switch to you.

That's wonderful!

I don't know how to thank you.

I do. Come to Vienna. Be my assistant.

That's very nice but I can't leave Mike.

I haven't met this lovely creature!

You had too much champagne tonight.

You met her in London, Claire Hackett!

This Claire Hackett is not the personal assistant that I met with Harper in London.

I know Harper. He probably calls all his personal assistants Claire Hackett.

It is very strange.

-May I? -Two minutes.

-Mr. Langsdorf... -Please, call me Willy.

Willy, I'm exhausted and if you don't mind I'd like to go to the powder room.

Of course.

After this is over I'm giving a party in my own suite.

Just for very few people.

I don't know.

I won't let you go until you say yes.

Yes.

Mike!

-Where have you been? -What are you doing dressed like that?

__ with Paul, he told me everything.

-Just don't wait to hear my side of the story... -Everything.

You don't know what I've been through.

Yes, I do.

Tell me something. It was a left hook or a right crossed.

A right crossed.

That's what I figured.

You know Belari's left eye is glorious black and purple?

Well, the swelling came down.

But the price of the dining room set went up.

You bought it?

-Don't you love it? -I love you.

I don't care what Langsdorf thinks about wives.

Honey, Langsdorf doesn't think that I'm your wife.

He thinks I'm your... you know.

No, I don't know.

They all think that I'm your personal assistant, Claire Hackett.

-Cut it now. -They do.

Why would they think a thing like that?

I don't know.

You mean you think Claire Hackett is here? Honey, Claire Hackett is in London.

Would I lie to a woman with a punch like yours?

Don't you think we better get back to the party?

Don't you think we better go up to the room for a little glass of champagne?

Yes, I do.

But you should make an appearance. Remember the ski pants.

Just for a minute.

-What is that? -Just getting back into character.

Come back here.

-Mike, darling -What is it, sweetheart?

Do you know what you can get me for our anniversary?

-A divorce. -Anything you like, darling.

The airport limousine will be here in 15 minutes.

If you will be seated I will call you when it arrives.

Your job will be no more than a personal assistant.

My experience is Mike Harper __ dull job.

You won't find it so dull with Claude Renard.

It's about time I found someone who really appreciates me.

You mean Harper never really appreciated you?

There are only two things he appreciates: his business and his wife.

Come, my dear.

I know a wonderful discotheque that is open all night.

Ms. Hackett.

Excuse me.

We know each other.

By the way, Claire, if you see Mr. Harper

will you tell him I just resigned?

What's his room number?

He is in room 203.

-Bonjour. -Bonjour.

I want her found.

I don't care, check all the airline. And you call me back on room 207.

Thanks.

Mr. Langsdorf, let go of me. It's not what it looks like.

Mrs. Hackett, __

Wunderbar!

Help, police!

Help!

__ , sir.

Help, police!

Don't run so fast!

Hilf mir! Meine Frau!

-Your what? -My wife!

Meine Frau!

Help me!

Janet!

It's me!