All language subtitles for West Wing S02E06 The Lame Duck Congress.DVDRip.NonHI.cc.en.WB

Previously on The West Wing:

You're Aimsley Hayes.
Ainsley, with an "n."

I'm offering her a job.

Where? Here.

My first day is getting off

to a great start.

It's about to get better.

Who is this?

This is Ainsley
Hayes. You're an idiot.

I don't think it's that
she's a Republican,

I think it's that she's
a Republican woman

and she's good-looking.

Those are three things,

when in combination,
usually spell careerism...

I think if I have to endure

another disappointment today

from this place that
I have worshipped

I am going to lose it.

17 seconds it took
her to call us liars.

Why don't you keep
your voice down?

What are you doing
here? Serving my country.

Is he meeting with
Nancy McNally?

No, I want to be
very clear about this.

Mr. Konanov, while
he's here in Washington

is not meeting with
the Secretary of State

or any cabinet-level
official, for that matter.

He's not meeting with
the UN ambassador

or any senior aides
representing NATO allies

and he's certainly not
meeting with the President.

He will be coming to
the White House to meet

with some of the President's
advisors in the Balkans.

Who's next? Steve? C.J.!

C.J., Senator-elect
Morgan Mitchel

is going to announce
on Hardball later today

that he'll seek a seat on the
Foreign Relations Committee

and that he'll block a
vote on the Test Ban Treaty

and prevent it from
coming to the floor.

Yeah. Any thoughts?

We'll have a ratified
Comprehensive Test Ban Treaty.

Mitchel says, "Over
his dead body."

I think, like all freshmen,

Senator-elect Mitchel

will discover that
he's one of a hundred

and that his power
is considerably

more limited than he imagines.

That said, the new
Senate will ratify the treaty

and we really don't care
what condition his body is in...

C.J.! Danny.

Has the President considered
ordering a lame-duck session

so the current Senate
can vote on the treaty?

Okay, anybody but Danny.

C.J... No.

He hasn't considered it?

Danny, I don't
know every thought

that passes through
the President's head,

but there have been
no discussions...

That you're aware
of. That I'm aware of.

Well, I'd like to know if the
President's considered it.

Is that something
you can check out

and get back to us on?
You bet. Who's next?

She walked into it.
She knows it, too.

Walked into what?

She can't confirm that the
President hasn't considered it

unless she asks the
President if he's considered it

at which point, he
will have considered it.

That sounds pretty stupid.

It was a better-organized
thought when it was in my head.

Is she almost done?

She's wrapping up. Let's go.

Has he considered it?

No. Why not?

Why should he?

If he thinks he
has a better chance

of ratifying the Test Ban Treaty

with this Congress than
the new one... He doesn't.

But if Morgan Mitchel's...
Mitchel's not a factor.

Josh, the Occupational Safety
and Health Administration...

No. OSHA...

How do you change
subjects so fast?

Josh... I mean it.

How do you go from
a Test Ban Treaty

and a lame-duck
Congress to OSHA?

'Cause I'm me.

Do you know how many people
acquire Carpal Tunnel Syndrome?

It shouldn't surprise
you to learn that I do not.

600,000 Americans a year.

Do you have any
idea how painful it is?

Donna, in the scheme of
things, who really cares...

Do you have any
idea how painful it is?

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Pain in your forearm. No grip.

You lose the ability to pinch.

People who lose
the ability to pinch?

I got to tell you, I
don't know from where

they summon the will to go on.

You guys are on
the wrong side of this.

Aren't you one of
"you guys"? Not on this.

C.J... I know.

You walked right into it.

There was no other
direction to walk.

Now, please, just
answer no to this question.

Has the President considered it?

No. Good.

Not that I know of. - Listen...

Josh... He hasn't.

Listen... What?

He should consider it.

He should consider it right now.

Mitchel's not going to get a
seat on Foreign Relations.

There isn't a seat open
on Foreign Relations.

There's a seat open
on Appropriations.

Kasey'll move?

What do you think?
What's going on?

Kasey wants Appropriations

and he has the seniority.

So he'll have to give up Budget.

Which Taglio will
jump at it in a second,

which clears the way for
Newberry in Senate Armed Services.

Newberry leaving
opens up Judiciary.

Now who wants to be
named Attorney General

under the next
Republican President?

Howard Westin. That's right.

So he takes the
seat on Judiciary.

Vacating his seat
on Foreign Relations.

So there's a seat open
on Foreign Relations.

It doesn't mean Morgan
Mitchel's gonna get it, right?

Yes, it does. Why?

'Cause nobody
else is gonna want it.

Why? TOBY: 'Cause
there's no money it.

The Senate Foreign
Relations Committee

has no control over money,
so there's no lobbyists

which means there
are no fund-raisers.

The Constitution says, "under
extraordinary circumstances."

It's a treaty that's vital to
national and global security.

What kind of
extraordinary circumstances

do you have in mind?

These people...

Sam, you've been studying this,

do you think we have less of a
chance with the new Congress?

I think we have no chance

with the new Congress.

And while I've never

lived through a massive
nuclear explosion of radiation,

decimating all forms of
life in a 200-mile radius,

I've seen pictures, and I couldn't
agree with Josh more in his interpretation

of the "extraordinary circumstances"
clause in the Constitution.

Is Leo free now?

In five minutes.

These people are gone. The
106th Congress is adjourned.

12 of them were
voted out of office.

This is bad pool... you go
in there and tell the President

to call a lame-duck
session, and he does,

it's going to
look like politics.

It is politics. Toby...

Let's see Leo.

What are we gonna
tell the 12 people

who are out there
looking for new jobs?

They may not be done
with their old ones yet.

Captioning sponsored
by WARNER BROS.

Kasey's gonna
want Appropriations.

He wants Budget. He's on Budget.

That's right. He's gonna
want Appropriations.

Kasey's gonna
want Appropriations.

And he has the seniority.

So he'll have to give up
the Budget Committee.

And Taglio will take that.

Which clears the way for
Newberry in Armed Services.

Newberry will vacate
his seat on Judiciary.

Which means Westin
leaves Foreign Relations...

And that's where
Mitchel comes in.

Guys... It's like
running the country

with Barnum, Bailey
and his sister Sue.

Would it be possible for just
two of them to speak at once?

Toby?

That was an hour-and-
ten-minute meeting

with Dick Rush, Ed, Marty
Beach and Henry Rodriguez.

I've never seen both
political and legislative liaisons

so unanimous in a diagnosis.

They think he should call it?

Yeah.

Mr. President, we
have a better chance

of winning now than
a month from now.

Not only that... Sorry. Sam!

Toby.

Not only that

but here's what C.J.
can tell the press:

The world is looking to the
U.S. to ratify the treaty first.

The longer we wait,

the longer it takes
other countries to ratify,

the closer we get to more
unstable countries like Pakistan

developing a nuclear threat.

Arguments against?

We might lose the vote.

That'll hang around
our necks for two years.

The Senate will be pissed off.

That might stall confirmations.

And can I just add
that a senator-elect

announcing what committee
assignment he'd like... C.J...

That's not what the
founders would've considered

an extraordinary occasion.

An extraordinary occasion

is whatever the
President says it is.

Charlie!

Yes, sir?

Could I have a
couple of aspirin,

or a weapon of some
kind to kill people with?

Yes, sir.

Leo.

Even when they're
here in session,

trying to get a hundred
senators in a line

is still like trying to get
cats to walk in a parade.

What do you want to do?

Let's take the
leadership's temperature

on the lame-duck session

and let's also get
some kind of nose count

and see where we are.

C.J., leak it the President's
considering calling

the Senate back. That, actually,
is not going to be a problem.

The source is big enough
so that they go with it

small enough so
we're not tied to it.

Toby, get me a nose count. Yeah.

What else?

The State Department
wants permission

to change the terminology

from "rogue nations"
to "states of concern."

Not now. What else?

Medicare coverage
of clinical trials.

Not now. What else?

Fraud awareness for
small business owners.

Not now. Anything else?

The four of you
wait in my office.

Thank you, sir.

Thank you, Mr. President.

Thank you all.

Thank you, Mr. President.

When does Konanov get here?

In a few minutes.

No high-level meetings, right?

No. Okay.

On the lame-duck session?

Yeah.

You don't want to
call this vote and lose.

Yeah, but this
could be a window.

Yeah.

We got to see if it's doable.

Yeah.

It could be doable.

Yeah.

You got anything more to say?

Not this minute.

Okay.

Thank you, Mr. President.

Thank you.

Leo...

There's gonna be an
editorial in the Post tomorrow.

You're kidding me.

The President's time
isn't being used efficiently.

It couldn't wait?

Schedules are
abandoned before lunch.

That's four in two weeks.

The West Wing resembles a
high school yearbook office.

And, I believe, I'm compared
to a substitute teacher.

That's ridiculous. No, it's not.

Leo... Certainly not based

on the display I
just saw in there.

So, new rules:

You need an answer
from the President,

you want to brief him,
you want him to weigh in...

I want to see a
summary on my desk,

absolutely no longer
than two pages,

and I want my initials on it

before you go into
the Oval Office.

Leo, a two-page summary's
gonna kind of cramp our style, isn't it?

Your style could use
a little a cramping.

Are we understood?

That's fine. Yes.

Toby, Sam,

take some meetings
on the Hill today.

Toby, concentrate on votes

that can be loosened
with Stenson gone.

Sam, dangle reservations
in front of them.

C.J., start the leak.

Oh, anybody happens to see

Vasily Konanov in the hallways,
walk in the other direction.

Yeah.

That's it.

I can't unleash my full
potential in a two-page summary.

Listen to me: I'm gonna
meet with Fox and Fowler.

Sam, you're
gonna go to the Hill.

You think with Stenson gone...?

I think, with Stenson gone, I can get
Fox and Fowler to loosen up some votes...

That is, if I can ever get them to
order lunch off the damn menu.

They don't order...

I've never seen two grown
men order lunch like this.

Fox and Fowler loosen the votes,

Sam, you're up on the Hill

dropping "we'd
consider reservations."

It is not out of the
realm of possibility

that that meeting
gets us eight votes.

Their bosses want to speak to the
President, he's sitting by the phone.

So this is not an
unimportant meeting.

Okay, just so you know,

I also have to take a
22-page position memo

and summarize it in two pages

and it's got to be
done sometime today.

You can staff that.
Give it to Ainsley Hayes.

I ask Ainsley for
help... Get over it.

Okay, but there are gonna
be nine different jokes

'cause I asked her for help.

"Reservations," that's the word

you're dropping
when you're on the Hill.

You don't have to leave
the meeting with a win,

just say the words. Yeah.

Let's be able to end this day

by telling the President
that he's in striking distance

and he should seriously
consider the session.

Let's be able to do that.

Where's C.J.?

She's looking for a
reporter to leak the story to.

Did you talk to him?

I don't believe it. What?

You guys launched
another editorial.

Hey, C.J... Four in two weeks.

I don't work for
the editorial staff.

Well, that's convenient. Yeah?

You expect me to
do nothing about it?

What are you gonna do,
cancel your subscription?

Look... Smack me around?

Any reason I can't do both?

Hey, Carol. Hey.

Carol, would you get
me the spokesperson

for the majority
leader's office?

House or Senate? Senate.

So you guys are considering
a lame-duck session.

Who says?

You just put a call to the
majority leader's office.

We do a great deal

of business with

the majority leader's office.

He leads the majority.
He's not in session.

I believe they'll
track him down.

Can I say "White House
Senior Aides?" No.

"High-level sources
inside the White House?"

"Certain sources inside
the White House office

of legislative liaisons
who declined to be named."

It sounds like I got it from
somebody's paperboy.

Take it or leave
it. I'll take it.

Anything else?

Nope.

Thank you.

Ken Richmond on
line three! Who is he?

He's the spokesperson
for the majority leader.

I didn't need him.

Ken, sorry...

See, what I think
you don't understand

is that carpal tunnel is
only one of many afflictions

that fall under the category
of repetitive stress injuries

or RSI, and which are covered
by the science of ergonomics.

I'm not in charge of the
science of ergonomics.

You're gonna have to ask
somebody else who, you know, cares.

You don't have to be
in charge of it; OSHA is.

They've come up with a new
series of industry standards

and I want to know why the White
House isn't implementing them.

Because the SBA says that
the cost to small businesses

could exceed $18
billion the first year.

There'll be a huge increase in
workmen's compensation premiums

and Republicans find the
word "ergonomic" to be silly.

If we backed off of everything

because of words the
Republicans found silly,

we'd have a lot of pregnant
teenagers and no health care.

We do have a lot of pregnant
teenagers and no health care.

So how's your plan
working out so far?

What...? CHARLIE: Josh?

Hang on, Charlie.

No, I don't think
this can wait. What?

Vasily Konanov is here.

I can't see him, Charlie.

Make sure he's
not in the bullpen.

He's not. Good.

He's in the driveway.

What do you mean?

He's sitting in the
car in the driveway.

He's refusing to get out unless
he can speak to the President.

This is a joke? No.

He's sitting in the driveway?

Josh...

they're saying, you know...

What?

They're saying he's drunk.

Really?

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

Excuse me.

Yes.

This is your office. Yes.

It's very nice, Sam. Thank you.

You can see sunlight,
and you have a window

that can be opened
for ventilation.

You want to work, or you
want to decorate my office?

You called me?
Yes. I need your help.

Really?

Let's not make a
big deal out of it.

No, it's sweet that
you need my help.

I don't need your help,
I'm asking for your help,

so let's not make a federal...

Dad, it's me. Sam's
asking for my help.

Put the phone down.

Got to go, Dad. I
need to help Sam.

You must have had them rolling
in the aisles back in Georgia.

I'm from North Carolina.

Wherever it was that
you studied baton twirling.

That'd be Harvard Law School.

Yes. So here's the thing.

You need my help.

A favor. Okay.

I have a position recommendation

for the President regarding an
amendment to a commerce bill.

This memo's 22 pages long

and Leo's on a
streamlining kick.

You want me to summarize
your recommendation

and give it to the President.

Yeah, then I want you to
skip to Tijuana in a dirndl skirt.

Sam... You're going to
summarize it, and you give it to me.

Fine.

Thank you.

In exchange for?

No.

Then my schedule's pretty tight.

In exchange for what?

You're going to the Hill? Yes.

To take meetings on
the Test Ban Treaty? Yes.

I want to go. No.

Why? 'Cause.

Ah... Ainsley...

I'm not going to say anything.

I'm going to spill anything.

I'm not going to get
Republican juice on you.

I'm just going to
sit there and learn.

What?

From the master, Sam.

I want to learn from the master.

You see, women think
that kind of thing works

but it doesn't.

It really does, Sam.

I'll let you come to the Hill.

You'll summarize my memo.

I'll use punctuation
and everything.

You might even get extra credit.

Ainsley... Have you eaten lunch?

No. I brought my
lunch from home.

That's fine. I ate it
already. That's fine, too.

Did you bring your
lunch from home?

Ainsley, what the hell...?

Do you think
you'll be eating it?

You can't have my lunch. Okay.

Meet me in the lobby in an hour.

Okay.

I'm helping her out. Good.

You know, she wants
to get a little feel for...

We've got a problem.

What? Konanov.

Is he here?

In a manner of speaking.

Leo?

Yeah.

How you doing?

Good.

Vasily Konanov
is in the driveway.

He's drunk, and he
won't get out of the car

until he speaks
to the President.

And we have a winner.

Are you kidding me?

He's sitting in the car with
a woman who I imagine

is either a security
attache or a hooker.

Please tell me it's not...

It's no one you know, Sam.

Have you spoken to him?

I'm not allowed to speak to him.

I walked by the
car a couple times

to see what was what.

Leo, we got to move him.

Tourists are going to
start to ask questions

and Boris and Natasha
are going to answer them.

You now have
permission to talk to him.

Put him in an
office, dry him out

and explain why he
can't see the President.

Good.

Try to avoid the Situation Room.

Good safety tip.

What?

I'm going to take Ainsley to
the Hill with me for the meetings.

Good. She wants me to
teach her a couple things.

Good. She called me the master.

Get out.

Okay.

Yeah, I think the risotto,
but I'd like it cooked

with chicken broth instead
of oil. Is that possible?

Sure.

And I'd like to substitute

the snow peas for the asparagus.

I'll have the same, but I don't want the
squash soup pureed with cream or butter.

In fact, does it even
have to be pureed?

Fellas?

I'm just asking.

It's pureed squash.

If it's not pureed,
then it's just squash.

Butter's fine.

I'll have a New York
steak and a ginger ale.

Would you like
that...? Just cook it.

The rumor's been
getting around like a virus.

Is it more than a rumor?

We don't know yet.

Toby, our boss is
fishing off the Keys.

Everybody's boss is
fishing off the Keys...

Or skiing in Jackson
Hole, or watching football...

And it would really tear
the President up inside

to bring them back,

but I want to talk
about if he should.

Well, our guy's not
going to vote to ratify.

Why not?

Same reason he wouldn't before.

We didn't have a vote before.

'Cause you knew you'd lose.

That's right.

What are you saying?

I'm saying what if

there was a vote now

without Stenson breathing
down his neck... Joe?

Stenson wasn't what's
keeping us from voting for it.

What was?

The voters. What
the hell do you...?

82% of voters want
the Test Ban Treaty...

Not in our state.

You were guided
by the 18% who...

Not in our state, Toby.

82% of voters,
Joe... 82% of voters...

To say nothing of 150 nations

including Russia, China,
Great Britain, France...

Four countries
you don't often see

on the same side of the ball.

Fine. Now get North Korea,

India and Pakistan aboard

and we'll have a
ball game. Bob...

Have you checked your backyard?

What?

Have you checked your backyard?

What are you...?

In the nose count, Toby.

I don't think you have the votes

you think you have.

Who did we lose?

Make your calls.

I don't have to make...

Who did we lose?

Make your calls, Toby.

I'm sorry. Did you say that

you wanted...? Chicken broth

instead of oil, snow
peas instead of...

asparagus. Excuse me.

I don't understand. It happens.

A member of the
Ukrainian Parliament

Yeah. can just kind of show up?

Well, he had an appointment,

just not to meet
with the President.

The guy's a little crazy, Leo.

Nah, he's just...
Yeah, he's crazy,

but he's our kind
of crazy, so...

Got it. Good.

The girl's not bad-looking.

Go to work.

You think she
knows how to kill me?

Yes.

Leo? Hey, Donna.

Leo, can I possibly talk
to you for a moment?

Sure. That's a very nice suit.

Thank you. Is that new?

No. What's on your mind?

The Occupational Safety
and Health Administration

would like to do something

about repetitive stress injuries

or muscular skeletal
disorders like tendonitis...

Or Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.

Carpal Tunnel Syndrome is, yes,
one interesting example out of several.

We can't afford
it. But what I...

It costs $18 billion,
Donna. Type slower.

C.J... Yeah?

What have you got?

The State Department
on new vocabulary.

Is this the two-minute
pitch or the ten-minute pitch?

The two-minute pitch.

Go!

Okay, now you
threw me off my game.

C.J. No, I'm nervous now.

Come on! I feel
like if I run over,

you're going to have
the orchestra play me off.

I'm getting older
over here, C.J.

State wants us to
change "rogue nations"

to "states of concern."

I say fine. It's a
symbolic gesture

with no real consequence.

It gains us points with allies
who feel we've been too harsh

and it signals to the seven
countries we're talking about

that we're open to taking
positive steps in the future

if they initiate reforms.

Any downside?

I'll feel stupid.

I can live with that.

You certainly have so far.

Oh, hey, make sure
you talk to the President

at the end of the day.

Sure. About what?

Danny Concanon wants access

for a three-part feature.

No.

No?! What...?

No, he can't have access.

C.J... He can't have access.

Leo, his editorial staff

just jumped up and down
on your head yesterday

and last Thursday
and the President

twice before that, four
times in two weeks.

That's why everybody's
walking around with a stopwatch.

He gets no milk and cookies.

Talk to the President at
the end of the day, Leo...

you'll get another two minutes.

Hello.

We may be dead already.

What happened?

We lost one of our people.

Who? I don't know.

I need some help on the inside.

Is Tony Marino in Philadelphia?

I don't know.

I'd like you to call him

and see if he'd
get on the train.

But Toby, I'm... I wanna
find out who we lost

and can we get him back.

Back up.

We lost one of our people.

Who?

They wouldn't tell me, Leo.

I need you to...
Fox and Fowler...

Fox and Fowler wouldn't
tell me who we lost.

They just said to
check our backyard.

Who the hell...? I don't know,
which is why I need to talk to Marino.

It's not hard enough getting
new votes, we got to corral the...

I need you to talk to Marino.

Toby... I need you to call him

and set up a meeting with me.

He needs to tell me
who jumped the fence.

He needs to help
us bring them back.

Toby, the guy lost
a bad race bloody.

He's going to want
to come back for this.

I think he's going
to want to sit down.

Not on the Test Ban Treaty.

He spent four
years of his life on it.

Spent a lot longer than that

and it burned him in the end.

He lost his seat.

Leo... The man's done enough.

Obviously, he hasn't.

I set up this meeting,
and what's your pitch?

That this treaty he
wants so bad can happen.

Not only that,
but he can stick it

to every Pennsylvania
voter who put him out of a job

and take Mitchel's knees out

before he has time to
put his pencils in a jar.

Plus, who did we lose?

He might not know who we lost.

He'll know. Toby.

Leo! He's been out of
town for a month and a half.

He'll know.

Leo, if it was anything less
important than the Test Ban Treaty

I wouldn't... Margaret?!

Thank you.

Toby... Messages?

Yeah, but...

Why are my blinds closed?

Yeah... Listen...

Yeah! Yeah, that
deserves an explanation.

Mr. Konanov, Mr. Konanov...

Yes, right in here, sir.

Right in here, Mr. Konanov.

Errand boys is what
they send to me.

I am reformer,

and I will lead the
Ukraine and you know this,

and they send me errand boys!

As a matter of fact,

I'm the Deputy Chief of Staff.

Actually, it's a
very... it's a big...

Never mind.

Mr. Konanov, please understand.

There's protocol.

Your government has
a leader we deal with.

You wish to deal with me.

We do wish to deal with you

but, right now, President
Shevchuk is the...

You called my embassy?

We're in touch with the
embassy as well as the capital.

We're seeking permission

to have you speak with
Secretary Shaeffer...

I wish to speak
to the President.

That's not going to happen

and you damn well know it.

You speak to him in this tone?

He's drunk in my office

and I will speak to him in
whatever tone pleases me.

Donna!

Put two uniformed
agents outside my door.

Tell Leo I'm coming over.

Yeah.

Oh, how I miss the Cold War.

This is my fifth...

Sam...

This is my fifth
meeting in a row.

It's my last
meeting on the Hill.

I want to know what
it's going to take

to get your boss
to loosen his grip.

Sam...

If the Senator moves,

he frees up eight,
maybe ten votes.

He gives political
cover to those who...

Why should he move?

Well, we'll go past

it's the right thing to do...

You know, Sam,
it's not a holy thing.

You act like if you're
against the Test Ban Treaty

then you're bloodthirsty.

Senate Republicans aren't
the only ones against this.

Six past Secretaries of Defense,
five former CIA Directors...

A former Secretary of State

and a former National
Security Advisor.

31 Nobel Laureates, the
Chairman of the Joint Chiefs,

150 countries on this planet,

and 82% of the
people living in this one

say the treaty makes
the world a safer place.

It's not a safer place
if North Korea and Iran

are making significant
technological improvement

while the President's handing
out commemorative pens.

You can't tell me that
the chance we take

with our ability to verify

isn't outweighed by the chance
we take doing nothing at all.

I've heard all this.

Right. And I'm here
to ask you this...

Sam...

I'm here to ask you this:

Is there no room for movement?

We'd consider
attaching reservations.

If you can't trust a man's word,

what good is it
to put it on paper?

Is there room for movement?

You wasted a trip.

I'll waste more of 'em.

We're done?

Yeah.

Ainsley, I'm surprised
to see you here.

Why?

Before you were
on Bartlet's payroll,

you were a vocal
opponent of the treaty.

Well, it's President Bartlet.

I'm on the government payroll.

And I believe that politics
should stop at the water's edge.

Okay.

To be honest with you, I think
it should stop well before that,

but it turns out
there's no Santa Claus

and Elvis isn't cutting
records anymore.

What is she saying?

See, I don't think you think

the treaty's bad.

I don't think you
think it's good.

I think you want to
beat the White House.

Yes.

You're a schmuck, Peter.

Today, tomorrow,
next year, next term,

these guys will have
the treaty ratified

and they'll do it
without the reservations

he just offered to
discuss with you.

Can I take this muffin?

Yeah.

Margaret?

Yeah.

You got that memo?

Any minute now.

Margaret?

Yeah.

What the hell are you doing?

Why, I'm typing, Leo.

Margaret...!

Apparently, your response

to Donna's perfectly
legitimate concern

about the White House not
supporting OSHA's recommendation

regarding repetitive stress
injuries was "type slower."

Donna has organized most of
the assistants in the West Wing

to do just that.

Margaret?

Yeah.

Look at my face right now.

Okay.

Leo...

Can you keep
your people in line?

Well, there's been no
evidence of it so far.

Listen...

Inside.

So what's going on?

Well, I've got The Man Who
Came to Dinner in my office.

I'm begging the Ukrainian
Embassy for help.

If I don't get some soon,

I'm going to apply for a job
at the Ukrainian Embassy.

No, here's what
we're going to do.

All this guy wants
is to be able to say

he met the President
while he was here.

He can't meet the President.

He can meet the
President accidentally.

How do you meet the
President accidentally?

When I was Labor Secretary,
we did it with the Dalai Lama.

Obviously, Beijing
doesn't want the President

to have any diplomatic contact,

so they arrange a
low-level meeting...

Keep the door open,
the President wanders by.

"Hey, how you
doing, Dalai Lama?"

Well, that's the most

crazy-assed thing
I've ever heard.

It works.

This is how the world is run?

Yeah.

I'm sticking to domestic policy.

Yeah, 'cause that has
the ring of sanity to it.

Is Toby meeting with Marino?

Toby's on a mission.

It's the right mission.

I know you're not comfortable...

Continuing to exert influence

after the people
have voted you out

is an ethically
gray area for me.

They're all ethically
gray areas, Leo. Screw it.

If we're going to
have a fighting chance

we've got to invite Marino.

Marino's going to
want in because...

Marino's a street kid
and lives for revenge.

I was going to say because
Marino's devoted to the issue.

Also, we may have
lost one of our guys.

Who?

Toby's going to ask Marino.

Hey, Norma Rae!

Get in here.

The man's trying
to run a country.

This is a law that would prevent
32,000 to 95,000 injuries a year.

Not here, it wouldn't.

Why not?

The White House and Congress

are exempt from the workplace-
related laws they pass.

The White House and
Congress are exempt.

Yeah.

Well, that makes things
considerably easier for yourselves.

Yeah. Josh, set it up.

You've got your 4:00.

I got a job for you.

Congress and the
White House are exempt.

Get past it.

What do you need?

I need Vasily Konanov
to meet with someone

of absolutely no consequence.

You're my girl.

What the hell are you...

I need you to meet
with Vasily Konanov.

Why?

So the President can
drop in and interrupt you.

Are you kidding me? No.

So I'm a beard. Yes.

I'm being used. Yes.

As a dupe. Yes.

How am I supposed
to feel about that?

How do you usually
feel about that?

Josh...

Donna.

My value here is
that I have no value.

You have enormous value to me.

You have no value
to Eastern Europe.

Okay, you know what this is?

No.

This is an opportunity.

That's right.

This is an audience with a man

who understands the
plight of the worker.

Yes.

Or do you think,
because he's a reformer,

he'll understand the
plight of economics?

Well, he's drunk and
doesn't speak a lot of English

so I don't think he's going to
understand much of anything at all.

But set up the meeting
and knock 'em dead.

"Can I have this muffin?"

Listen...

"Can have this muffin?" I was...

I think that you'll discover

that the sharpest
of closing remarks

will be blunted by
asking for a muffin.

The minute we left that room,

those guys were calling
their bosses saying,

"They're offering to
attach reservations.

Let's jump on it."

I have no problem with that.

You did great with
the reservations

and politics stopping at the
water's edge was touching.

And then you asked
permission to have a muffin.

I was hungry.

How'd it go on the Hill?

Much as you'd expect.
You know what I think?

What?

I think Ramsey, Roanoke,
maybe even Grace...

I think they're going
to vote for it anyway.

Why? 'Cause Tony
Marino's going to tell them to.

I just named three Senators that
can't get reelected without Labor,

and Marino may be out of a job,

but he's still going to swing
a big bat with the unions.

Toby's meeting with
him right now. Good.

Do you think I should give Danny
Concanon access for a feature?

Yes.

You're wrong! Okay.

You should. Why?

He's cute.

I'm leaving.

Do you have my two-page summary?

I'm sorry?

Do you have my two-page summary?

Yes.

Could I have it?

Yes.

Thank you.

You reversed my position. Yeah.

I gave this to you to summarize,

and you didn't summarize it

so much as you
reversed my position.

I gave it a little polish, yeah.

You reversed my
position. It's shorter.

It is shorter. And you
reversed my position.

Your position was wrong.

Could you step inside, please?

Sure.

Good evening, Senator.

Senator.

How you doing, Toby?

What are you having?

Dewar's rocks.

Appreciate you coming down.

Sure.

The President's thinking
about calling a session.

Yeah. You heard?

Yeah, it was well-leaked.

It's nice we found a use

for our particular talents.

Yeah. Anyway...

I had a meeting at lunch
with Joe Fox and Bob Fowler

and they said we may
have lost one of our guys

and I wanted to
find out if it was true,

who was it, and is it important?

It's true, and it couldn't
be less important.

Who is it?

It was me, Toby.

I don't understand.

They were talking about me.

I don't... Tony, I
don't understand.

You've changed
your mind on the...?

No. I don't...

No, I haven't changed my mind.

And I'll do whatever the White
House wants, in terms of spadework.

If you call a session
now, I can't vote for it.

There you go. Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Tony...

Toby, I'm a lame-duck Senator.

The people of
Pennsylvania voted me out

and Morgan Mitchel in.

He gets a seat on
Foreign Relations,

we should all kill
ourselves, by the way.

Senator... I'm going
to talk to Newberry

about staying where he is
and stopping the dominoes.

Senator, there's no
reason why you can't...

They voted me out, Toby,
largely based on my support

of the Comprehensive
Test Ban Treaty.

Only 'cause Mitchel
painted them a picture.

Well, that's not for me to say.

And I'm gonna
choose not to assume

that my constituents
feel a certain way

because they were duped.

Senator, nobody expects...

You're not expected to...

Nobody expects.

Nobody expects.

Toby, it seems to me
that, more and more,

we've come to expect less
and less from each other

and I think that should change.

I'm a Senator for
another ten weeks

and I'm going to choose to respect
these people and what they want.

You call a lame-duck session now

and I've got to abstain.

Now, this is the northwest
executive entrance

to the White House,

and ordinarily I'd be
allowed to show you more,

but the President's in
the West Wing right now,

and when he's
working in his office,

we like to keep the
area as calm as possible.

Whole damn world's

flying apart at the equator.

You know that, Bonnie?

This, of course, is
my boss, Toby Ziegler.

Why's a test ban
treaty so important?

Let me tell you.

In 1974, India set off

a peaceful nuclear explosion.

Indira Gandhi herself
said they had no intention

of building a bomb.

They just wanted to
know that they could.

20 years later,

India sets off five
nuclear explosions.

Who gets nervous? Pakistan.

When Pakistan gets nervous,
everybody gets nervous.

You know why?

'Cause we're all going to die.

Sam, half of America's workforce

is employed by small business.

That's companies that
employ fewer than 100 workers.

I know what a small business is.

Then you know that
a third of them fail.

One-third of all small
businesses lose money and fail,

not because of rent hikes or
big chains squeezing them out

but because of why?

Employee fraud.

That's right!

Yes.

What do you say to that?

You reversed my position.

Other than that, Sam.

Other than what
you've been saying

for the last hour and a half.

I can't believe

I'm listening to a Republican

tell me the government

should run background
checks and impede business.

In fact, I can't believe I'm
listening to a Republican.

Could it possibly be
that most of the people

you want to fingerprint
have darker skin than you do?

Well, not to let the facts
interfere with a good story,

but 80% of violators are white.

Fraudulent employees
are three times

more likely to be married.

They're four times
more likely to be men,

16 times more likely to be
managers and executives,

and guess what,
professor, they're five times

more likely to have
postgraduate degrees.

You... listen... I, you
know... I can't... all right...

Start from the beginning.

Really? Yeah.

Are you eating that donut?

Take the donut. Start
from the beginning.

Hello. Hey, C.J.

I'm supposed to see him.

Yeah. There's a meeting in there

but I think they're
circling for a landing.

You mind if I wait? No.

Hey, Charlie. Hey, Danny.

Hey, C.J. Hey, Nimrod.

Look, I leaked your
damn story for you.

You leaked it for me?

I leaked it to you, pal.

I used you like
so much whatever.

Well put.

Charlie, I'm here
to see the President.

Yeah, he's finishing
up a meeting.

Charlie, Danny's paper...

After savaging us four
times in two weeks...

Would like access for Danny
to write a three-part feature.

About what?

About winning a Pulitzer Prize

for writing a
three-part feature.

Look...!

See, reporters
seldom win a Pulitzer.

Feature writers do, and
the Post has been getting

a little outpaced in the
hardware department lately.

Charlie, you know me here.

Do you suspect my motives
are anything but journalistic?

Yeah, I'd definitely like to
be a part of this conversation.

Are you telling me this doesn't
have anything to do with...?

C.J.?

Thank you.

Good evening, Mr. President.

No more "rogue nations," huh?

Yes, sir.

Well, that was easy. Sir?

What's doing, Claudia Jean?

Mr. President, the
Post would like access

for Danny Concanon
to do a three-part feature

inside the Oval Office.

Yeah. Let's do it.

No, I don't think
it's a good idea, sir.

Why not?

Sir, after the editorials

they've run the last...

Yeah, they've been way off base.

Not so much the second one,

but the first, third
and fourth were silly,

and the fourth
was mean-spirited.

Exactly, so let's
send them a message.

Nah. Sir...

First of all, it wasn't Danny.

Danny is their representative.

We have to stop
being a punching bag

and they need a wake-up call.

Nah. It's going to look petty
and petulant. You know why?

Sir? 'Cause it's
petty and petulant.

Nobody elected this newspaper.

Certainly not the
48 million people

who chose you to be President.

Yeah, but not having

to run for anything

tends to help with
honesty and decisiveness.

Thanks, Charlie.

Send Danny in,
would you, please?

Yes, sir.

Mr. President, you have
to send them a message.

I really don't, C.J.

Is this personal?

Excuse me?

I hear things.

I don't understand
most of it, but I hear it.

No, sir, it's absolutely
not personal.

He's a great reporter, and
you're a great press secretary

and that's why it
wasn't going to work,

as long as the two
of you had those jobs.

Sir, I... I can assure
you... Hey, Danny.

Good evening, Mr. President.

Danny, I think you guys have
had your heads up your asses

for the last few weeks.

I hope you don't
mind me saying so.

Of course not, Mr. President.

Not only that, but you've
been trying to bait me

which is a waste of
time, paper and ink.

I'm like 50 times smarter

than any of you
will ever hope to be.

I've got an election
to win in two years

and I'm not about to
alienate the Washington Post.

Yes, sir. I'll tell you
what I will do, though.

I'm canceling our subscription.

Excellent, sir.

The White House buys

1,100 copies of
the Post every day.

Canceling that subscription
should send a message

loud and clear.

No, I meant just
mine and Abbey's.

I'll borrow a copy
from somebody.

Mr. President?

Yeah. Take it easy, Danny.

C.J. will give you all
the access you want.

Thank you, sir.

Thank you, Mr. President.

I got to go tell
circulation we lost $32.95.

I know about the job offer.

I figured.

Known about it for
a couple of days.

Yeah.

You don't want to be an editor?

I'm a White House reporter.

I know, I just thought
by taking a job

outside the press room...

C.J., I have no
problem with a reporter

dating a press secretary.

Well... I have a problem, so...

Yeah.

Okay. I'll see you later.

Okay.

See, the keyboard forces users

to put their wrists into
a palms-down position

and encourages a
sideways wrist twist

to reach the enter key.

That sideways twist is called

an "ulnar deviation,"
and it's very bad.

It has a right-hand bias

towards the important
letter and number keys

and frequently-used keys like
enter, shift, backspace, and control

are placed near
the weakest finger,

forcing the wrist to absorb
the added stress of...

What in hell is this
woman talking about?

Sir, I'm talking about my
government's unwillingness to...

Vasily?

Vasily Konanov?

Why, you're the last
person I expected to be

where they told me to go.

Mr. President.

Thank you, Donna.

Thank you, gentlemen.

Vasily?

Yes?

I don't know who this is.

What the hell are you doing?

Mr. President...

I would like to talk to you

about commercial landing rights.

I would like to talk to you

about the World
Trade Organization

and I would like to talk to you

about nuclear compatibility.

I'm not the
Transportation Secretary.

You will join the
WTO when you reduce

the 300% tariff on American cars

and with a nuclear
weapon pointed at my head,

I will not talk to you
about nuclear compatibility.

Mr. President...

Vasily, you're a reformer,

and you're going to do
good things in Eastern Europe

and I'm looking forward
to the day you're President.

But until that day comes,

my State Department

deals with the
government of the Ukraine.

Now, you can go home

and do exactly what
you wanted to do...

which is say you've met

with the President
of the United States.

You just have.

How you doing?

Yeah.

For... yeah.

Thank you.

Dr. Zhivago is out of here.

Good.

What do you have?

The Commerce Department

wants us to back

an amendment to a bill that
would help small businesses

with fraud prevention
and employee theft.

We want to recommend it.

You have numbers? Yeah.

This is from an independent
study that I have faith in.

30% of workers

plan to steal from
their employers.

30% give in to
occasional temptation.

Five percent will commit fraud
regardless of circumstance.

85% will commit fraud
given the right circumstances.

Just out of curiosity,
what are the right...?

Need, opportunity

and the ability to
rationalize their behavior.

It's called the fraud triangle.

Leo, it's going to help us out

when we want to raise
the minimum wage.

It's the small business owners

who are most
opposed to wage hikes.

You weren't going to
go the other way on this?

Yeah, I was.

You got turned around?

Yeah.

Okay, good.

Thanks. Thanks.

Hang on. I wanted to...

Thank you, Leo.

That was it?

Yeah.

That was it?

Yeah.

I don't understand.

You don't understand what?

What just happened.

Leo said yes. We're in.

I don't understand.

Leo said yes.

That's the end of the meeting.

I was just talking, Sam.

I was just talking to you.

Well, we play with
live ammo around here.

You convinced
me, I convinced Leo,

Leo'll convince the President.

Sam...

It's a short day, Ainsley,
and a big country.

We've got to move fast.

And so because
I said this in here,

the President in there
is going to...? Yeah.

You got to tell me when
that's going to happen.

Is this how you guys
decide to go to war?

I don't know. I'm usually not
in the room when they do that.

Sam...

Could somebody get her

a cupcake or something?

Sam...!

Mr. President? Yeah.

Toby's here. Thanks.

You can take off for the
night, Charlie. We're done.

Thank you, Mr. President.

Good evening, sir.

Tony Marino's going
to abstain, huh?

Yeah.

He was a great
public servant, Toby.

A great senator.

Didn't Edmond Burke say

that a representative
owes not just his industry

but his judgment

and betrays you if he
sacrifices his judgment to yours?

Yeah, and then he
was voted out of office

five years later by
the people of Bristol.

That's not the point, sir.

I know, but the fact is

the opponents of the treaty,
on both sides of the aisle

you got to respect them, Toby.

They're politicians

and they're flying in the face
of overwhelming public opinion.

I have to respect senators

for defying 82% of
the American people?

Can I tell you
something honestly?

This is one

of those situations

I could give a damn
what the people think.

The complexities of
a global arms treaty...

The technological, military,
the diplomatic nuance...

It's staggering, Toby.

82% of the people can't
possibly be expected

to reach an informed opinion.

You want to call
a session anyway?

No.

No, if we lose, and
we will, we cut off...

Yeah.

Anything else?

No, sir.

Thank you, Mr. President.

You know we forget sometimes.

In all the talk about democracy,
we forget it's not a democracy.

It's a republic.

People don't make the decisions.

They choose the people
who make the decisions.

Could they do a
better job choosing?

Yeah.

But when you consider
the alternatives...

Anyway, Abbey's
in New Hampshire.

You want to come up for a cigar?

The day is over, Toby.

We'll live to fight another one.

Come on up. I'll beat
your ass at chess.

You baiting me, Mr. President?

Yes.

Okay.

If anybody's out
there, I'm signing off.

Have a good night.

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