Original subtitles

Downloaded from YTS.MX

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY LIONS GATE ENTERTAINMENT

♪ I COULD TELL BY YOUR VOICE

Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX

♪ ON THE ANSWERPHONE

♪ IT WAS BAD, DIDN'T GET BACK STRAIGHTAWAY ♪

♪ CARRIED ON WITH WHAT I WAS DOIN' ♪

♪ FOR ANOTHER 5 MINUTES

[LEFT ALONE AMONG THE LIVING CONTINUES]

Olly, narrating: AS FAR BACK AS I CAN REMEMBER,

I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE A WRITER.

FROM THE BEGINNING, I KNEW IT WASN'T GONNA BE EASY.

MY FIRST MEMORY IS CLIMBING OUT OF A BOX

AND SEEING TWO GIANTS,

WHO CLAIMED TO BE MY PARENTS.

THEY WERE SO UNLIKE ME.

THEY WANTED ME TO READ PICTURE BOOKS.

I LIKED NOVELS.

Woman: READY? GO!

Olly: THEY WERE COMPETITIVE, I WASN'T.

AAH! DAD!

THINGS WEREN'T WORKING OUT.

DAD!

AND THEN, I MET MURRAY.

HE ENCOURAGED ME NOT TO GIVE IN.

HE APPRECIATED MY WORK.

[LAUGHING]

IT DIDN'T MATTER THAT A YEAR LATER I FOUND OUT

MURRAY COULDN'T ACTUALLY READ

BECAUSE, BY THEN, WE WERE INSEPARABLE.

WELL, UNTIL I GOT INTO UNIVERSITY TO STUDY ENGLISH,

AND...MURRAY DIDN'T.

♪ I COULD TELL BY YOUR FACE ♪

♪ WHEN YOU GOT HOME...

Olly: AT UNIVERSITY, I MET JAMES.

HE INTRODUCED ME TO COLLEGE LIFE...

♪ ...STRAIGHT AWAY, CARRIED ON ♪

♪ I THOUGHT THINGS WERE NORMAL... ♪

AND TO THE WOMEN'S LITERARY SOCIETY.

MURRAY CAME TO ONE PARTY,

BUT HE FOUND IT DIFFICULT TO FIT IN.

HE AND JAMES DIDN'T REALLY SEE EYE TO EYE.

RRAAAH!

[SHOUTING, INDISTINCT]

SORRY.

♪ ...LEFT BEHIND AMONG THE LIVING ♪

WAIT.

Olly: AFTER THAT NIGHT,

MURRAY AND I DRIFTED APART.

YOU JUST HAVE FUN WITH YOUR NEW FRIENDS.

Olly: I GRADUATED WITH A FIRST-CLASS DEGREE

IN ENGLISH LITERATURE AND STARTED WRITING.

WITHIN A MONTH, I'D FINISHED

THE FIRST TWO CHAPTERS OF MY NOVEL,

AND I SENT THEM TO A BIG-TIME PUBLISHER,

AND A WEEK LATER, HE CALLED.

I'M NOT GOING TO SUGARCOAT THIS.

THESE ARE THE TWO BEST OPENING CHAPTERS

I HAVE READ IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

Olly: THEN HE SAID SOMETHING WHICH MESSED UP MY LIFE.

I'D LIKE TO GIVE YOU AN ADVANCE.

50,000?

FIF...

50,000.

Olly: THE ADVANCE DESTROYED MY CONFIDENCE.

MY INSPIRATION VANISHED.

AND THIS WASN'T JUST WRITER'S BLOCK.

THE FEAR SPREAD TO AREAS OF LIFE

UNCONNECTED TO WRITING.

I'M SORRY. CAN I GET A...A DRINK?

Olly: I COULD NO LONGER GET SERVED AT BARS.

JUST A...

URINATING IN THE PRESENCE OF STRANGERS BECAME AN ISSUE.

WOMEN CEASED TO NOTICE ME.

[LAUGHING]

THEN THE PUBLISHER FOUND OUT ABOUT MY WRITER'S BLOCK

AND CANCELED THE ADVANCE.

I HAD NOTHING.

EXCUSE ME? UM...

DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING IN LONDON

AT AROUND A £20 A WEEK FLAT?

NO CHANCE, MATE.

Olly: AND THAT'S WHEN MY ORIGINAL BEST MATE

WALKED BACK INTO MY LIFE.

[LAUGHING]

MURRAY LET ME STAY IN HIS SPARE ROOM FOR FREE,

BUT I STILL COULDN'T WRITE.

THE DREAM WAS OVER.

AFTER 12 MONTHS OF FAILURE,

I HAD TO ADMIT DEFEAT

AND TAKE A JOB IN PUBLISHING I DIDN'T REALLY WANT.

EXCEPT ALL THOSE JOBS WERE TAKEN BY PEOPLE WHO DID WANT THEM.

SO I HAD TO TAKE A JOB THAT NO ONE WANTED,

WHICH IS HOW I ENDED UP HERE,

P.A. TO THE EDITOR OF WOMEN'S SELF-HELP BOOKS.

I CAME TO TEMP FOR A WEEK.

THAT WAS 3 YEARS AGO.

AND THE FACT IS, IT'S A NOTHING JOB

IN A NOWHERE COMPANY ON A DEAD END STREET IN HELL.

SO THAT'S ME.

WHAT ABOUT YOU?

HOW'S WORK EXPERIENCE?

UH...UH... IT'S GREAT.

CAN I GO NOW?

OH, YEAH.

ABSOLUTELY.

JUST WANTED TO MAKE YOU FEEL AT HOME.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

[RING]

GOOD AFTERNOON. WOMEN'S SELF-HELP.

UH, YES, MAY I PLEASE SPEAK

WITH THE BIG PUSSY THAT WORKS THERE?

WHO SHALL I SAY IS CALLING?

SKINNY FREAK, IT'S MUZZ.

SURELY, NO.

WE STILL ON FOR TONIGHT?

WHY? WHAT'S HAPPENING TONIGHT?

WE'RE GETTING DRUNK.

OH, I CAN'T.

I'VE GOTTA GO TO JAMES'S ENGAGEMENT PARTY.

OH, JAMES, YEAH, THAT'LL BE FUN.

I'VE GOTTA GO. I'LL CALL YOU BACK.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

GOOD AFTERNOON. WOMEN'S SELF-HELP.

YEAH, IT'S ME. I WAS JUST WONDERING,

ARE YOU GOING TO SPEND THE ENTIRE DAY

ORGANIZING YOUR SOCIAL LIFE,

OR ARE YOU GOING TO TRANSFORM

SOME OF THAT ENERGY INTO PRODUCTIVITY?

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO DO?

UM, WHAT DO I PAY YOU FOR?

TAKE MESSAGES?

MY MESSAGE BOOK, IF IT'S NOT TO MUCH TROUBLE.

THERE'S ONLY ONE, ACTUALLY.

READ IT ON THE PHONE?

HAVE YOU NOT HEARD OF PERSONAL INTERACTION?

[RING]

GOOD AFTERNOON. WOMEN'S SELF-HELP.

I THOUGHT JAMES WAS IN NEW YORK

WITH SOME WANKY CITY JOB.

YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.

SO WHY IS HE HERE?

I THOUGHT I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU THIS.

HE'S GETTING MARRIED,

IT'S HIS ENGAGEMENT PARTY,

AND HE ASKED ME ALONG.

I'M JUST CHECKING.

LOOK, I'VE REALLY GOT TO GO.

NO, YOU CAN'T COME.

YOU DON'T THINK YOUR BEST MATE'S GOOD ENOUGH

NOW THAT CAPTAIN AMERICA'S BACK IN TOWN.

GOOD-BYE.

[SPEED DIALING]

[RING]

GOOD AFTERNOON. WOMEN'S SELF-HELP.

PLE-HE-HEASE LET ME COME!

GOOD-BYE.

UH!

RIGHT, THEN, UM...

WHERE WERE WE?

[TYPING]

DANA?

WHAT?

WHAT THE HELL'S HE WANT?

HE JUST WANTS YOU TO RETURN HIS CALL.

NO, I'M FAR TOO BUSY.

IS IT OK IF I GO ON TIME TODAY?

AN OLD FRIEND'S GETTING MARRIED,

AND HIS ENGAGEMENT PARTY STARTS AT 7:00.

SO?

WELL, HE MIGHT GET UPSET IF I'M LATE.

WE'VE GOT TO KEEP OUR DUCKS IN A ROW.

AND DON'T YOU THINK MY HUSBAND GETS UPSET

WHEN I WORK LATE?

WELL, I'VE NEVER MET YOUR HUSBAND,

BUT I'M SURE HE'S GUTTED.

I WOULD BE IF I WAS YOUR HUSBAND.

I MEAN, I'D BE GUTTED ABOUT YOU WORKING LATE,

NOT ABOUT BEING YOUR HUSBAND.

I'D LOVE TO BE YOUR HUSBAND.

I'LL JUST...

SETTLE FOR BEING YOUR ASSISTANT.

[SHOUT OUT LOUDS' HURRY UP LET'S GOPLAYING]

♪ YOU'RE A LIE, IT'S TRUE

♪ I DON'T BELIEVE A THING... ♪

I ONLY HAVE 10. WOULD THAT BE ALL RIGHT?

WHAT DOES THAT SAY?

WELL, I HAVE MONEY-- EXACT MONEY.

EXACTLY £10.

IF IT TURNS OUT YOU'RE FAKE,

THEY'LL TAKE IT OUT OF ME WAGES.

I PREFER THE TUBE ANYWAY.

♪ COME ON

♪ LOVE IS ALL WE'VE GOT

GENTLY, GENTLY, BOY.

YOU ARE GENTLY, GENTLY BOY.

[BELCHES]

[WARNING BEEPING]

OOH! SORRY, SORRY.

I'M SO SORRY.

BOLLOCKS.

BOLLOCKS!

BOLLOCKS!

GO ON! SHOO!

WHEW.

JUST IN TIME.

[BAND PLAYING JAZZ]

SORRY.

OH, SORRY.

CAREFUL.

[GUESTS GASP]

HOLD THAT.

WHAT HAPPENED? YOU'RE COVERED IN SHIT.

IT'S FINE! IT'S FINE!

HEY, IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU, JAMES.

YOU'RE JUST WHAT I IMAGINED A WRITER TO LOOK LIKE.

YEAH.

I'M SURPRISED THOSE STAIRS DON'T KILL ANYONE.

YEAH. WELL, NOT EVERYBODY COMES IN BACKWARDS.

HEY! HEY!

SO WHEN DO I GET TO MEET THE BRIDE?

LET'S GET YOU CLEANED UP FIRST.

SO, WHAT'S HAPPENING IN THE LAND OF OLLY?

THE LAST I HEARD,

YOU WERE ON YOUR WAY TO A PULITZER PRIZE

AND A MALIBU BEACH HOUSE AND A COKE HABIT.

WOW. YOU'VE GOT A GOLF SIMULATOR?

SARAH HATES IT, CLUTTERING UP HER FLAT.

I WOULDN'T MIND SOME OF THAT CLUTTER.

WOW. SO THIS IS HERFLAT?

YEAH. DADDY'S LOADED.

SO YOU'RE GETTIN' MARRIED.

THAT'S SO GROWN UP.

I KNOW.

IT JUST FELT LIKE THE RIGHT TIME, YOU KNOW?

SHE'S AMAZING.

WELL, SHE'D HAVE TO BE.

[CHUCKLING]

WHERE'S THE ZIP?

ON THE SIDE.

I'M PRESUMING THESE, UH, AREN'T YOURS?

GOOD.

LOOK, OLLY, I KNOW I HAVEN'T BEEN THE...

THE GREATEST FRIEND TO YOU OVER THE LAST FEW YEARS.

IT TAKES TWO.

WELL, I SHOULD HAVE REPLIED

TO AT LEAST ONE OF YOUR E-MAILS.

HEY.

BUT I WANT TO MAKE IT UP TO YOU.

WOULD YOU CONSIDER BEING MY BEST MAN?

YOU'RE KIDDIN', RIGHT?

SERIOUSLY.

YOU'D WRITE A BLOODY FUNNY SPEECH.

I WOULD?

YOU KNOW, THE FUNNY THING ABOUT JAMES...

[SMATTERING OF APPLAUSE]

OLLY?

HUH?

JUST HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT.

I MEAN, YOU KNOW, IF YOU DECIDE YOU CAN'T.

AH. YOU REMEMBER CHRIS.

YEAH, HE WAS IN THE POWERS WITH YOU.

YEAH, SAME MEASUREMENT, TWO YEARS.

CHRIS! REMEMBER OLLY?

I CERTAINLY DO.

YOU'RE ONE OF THE SUCCESSFUL ONES.

WELL...

GOOD TO SEE YOU.

OH, I, UH, READ YOUR BOOK.

FANTASTIC.

THANKS. WHICH BIT DID YOU LIKE?

THE, UH... THE BEGINNING WAS GOOD,

AND THE, UH...

OH, THE BIT WITH THE-- WELL, ALL OF IT.

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A 30 MILLIMETER SHELL

HIT A RABBIT?

NEVER.

SORRY SIGHT, I CAN TELL YOU.

SEE, IT'S THE EARS-- BOOM.

WHEN THEY GO, OH!

OLLY, I COULDN'T STEAL CHRIS FOR A MOMENT?

OH, GO ON.

WELL, SEE YOU LATER, OLLY-GATOR.

HA HA!

I MADE 500K IN BONUSES ALONE LAST YEAR.

SHIPPED THE WHOLE LOT OFFSHORE.

NICE LITTLE HAVEN IN BELIZE.

SAY NO MORE.

SO, UH, WHAT DO YOU DO?

I'M A TAX INSPECTOR.

[COUGH]

MM, SUSAN, DARLING.

SHE'S A BEAUTY.

NO, I MEAN THE GOLFING SIMULATOR,

NOT YOUR WIFE.

ALTHOUGH YOU'RE VERY BEAUTIFUL, TOO.

COME ON THEN, TIGER.

LET'S SEE YOUR DRIVE.

JESUS!

FORE!

OH.

NEED TO WATCH THAT FOLLOW-THROUGH.

[LAUGHING]

CLASSIC.

IT'S ALL RIGHT. IT'S MINE.

THIS IS MR. AND MRS. BARKER,

SOON TO BE MY IN-LAWS.

THIS IS OLLY, POTENTIAL BEST MAN.

WELL, IT'S CLEAR YOU'RE NOT A GOLFER,

SO WHAT DO YOU DO?

OLLY'S A WRITER.

OH? WHAT DO YOU WRITE?

WOULD I KNOW ANY OF YOUR WORK?

WELL, UH, ASK CHRIS.

HE'S READ ONE OF MY BOOKS.

I'M JUST GONNA... EXCUSE ME.

WHO ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?

AH, I JUST THOUGHT I SAW SOMEONE I RECOGNIZED.

NO, YOU DIDN'T.

YOU WERE JUST PRETENDING

BECAUSE YOU HAD NO ONE TO TALK TO...

LIKE NOW.

ARE YOU IN THE HABIT OF BUYING WOMEN'S TROUSERS?

WHAT WOULD MAKE YOU SAY A THING LIKE THAT?

BECAUSE I HAVE THE SAME PAIR.

LOVELY CUT.

SADLY, I ONLY BORROWED THESE FROM JAMES BECAUSE--

THEY'RE MY BLOODY TROUSERS,

AND YOU'VE RIPPED THEM!

NO, I DON'T THINK SO.

NO, HE GOT THEM FROM UPSTAIRS.

I LIVE HERE WITH SARAH.

WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?

OLLY.

[LAUGHING]

OLLY, THE BEST MAN?

JAMES SAID YOU WERE FUNNY,

BUT I THOUGHT HE MEANT FUNNY, HA HA.

WHERE IS HE?

HE'S, UH...

PLEASURE TO MEET YOU.

HOPEFULLY MEET AGAIN SOON.

YOU WILL.

I WILL?

I'M THE MAID OF HONOR,

AND DON'T YOU DARE LEAVE WITH MY TROUSERS.

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

[RING]

WHO'S THIS?

OH, YOU WON'T REMEMBER ME.

I'M JUST THE GUY YOU USED TO LIVE WITH.

MURRAY, AM I GLAD TO HEAR YOUR VOICE.

OH, SURE. I CAN TELL YOU'RE HAVING A LAUGH

WITH YOUR NEW, OLD BEST MATE

WHILE I'M STUCK AT WORK.

Olly: TRUST ME. I'M NOT.

AND YOU'RE NOT AT WORK. YOU'RE IN THE PUB.

HAS HE THROWN ANYONE OUT YET?

NO, BUT STRANGELY ENOUGH,

NO ONE HAS THROWN UP ON HIM YET.

LOOK, THE TRUTH IS

I FELL DOWN THE STAIRS,

I NEARLY DECAPITATED THE FATHER OF THE BRIDE,

AND, AS FOR THE BRIDESMAID,

LET'S JUST SAY SHE COULD GIVE SYLVIA PLATH

A RUN FOR HER MONEY AT THE CRAZY GAMES.

WELL, I CAN'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU.

I CAN'T WAIT TO MEET THE BRIDE.

I GOTTA GO.

PLEASE TELL ME YOU'RE NOT MARRYING JAMES.

WOULD IT BE SUCH A BAD THING IF I WAS?

IT'S NOT ALWAYS A GREAT IDEA

TO SLOG OFF THE BRIDE'S ENTIRE FAMILY

AT HER OWN PARTY.

MMM...I THINK YOU LEFT HER MOTHER OUT.

I WAS JUST COMIN' TO HER.

NICE TO MEET YOU,

AND, NO, I'M NOT MARRYING JAMES.

I'M OLLY, PROVISIONAL BEST MAN.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO FOR A WALK?

WHERE TO?

I HEAR THE OTHER CORNER'S BEAUTIFUL

THIS TIME OF YEAR.

OK.

YEAH?

SO ARE YOU THE BEST MAN OR NOT?

HAVEN'T QUITE DECIDED.

WHY? IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH THE GROOM?

JAMES? NO.

NO, NOT AT ALL.

SO, WHAT THEN?

BEING BEST MAN IS A HUGE RESPONSIBILITY.

HE'S THE GROOM'S PRODUCT GUARANTEE.

I DON'T KNOW IF I COULD WRITE A FUNNY SPEECH.

OH, IT DOESN'T NECESSARILY HAVE TO BE FUNNY.

WHAT ELSE AM I GONNA DO, GRITTY?

[LAUGHING]

WELL, I HOPE YOU ARE BEST MAN.

WHY?

'CAUSE I'D LIKE TO GET TO KNOW YOU.

HERE WE ARE.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

THANKS. I GROUTED MOST OF IT MYSELF.

WHAT AN AMAZING VIEW.

YEAH.

I SHOULD GO.

YEAH.

IT WAS REALLY GREAT.

LIKEWISE.

I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU.

HA HA.

SO, YOU HAVING A NICE TIME?

YOUR BEST MAN IS HAVING THE BEST TIME.

BEST MAN?

CAN'T BELIEVE I EVEN NEEDED TIME TO THINK ABOUT IT.

OH, THAT'S GREAT.

JAMES, I MET SOMEONE.

CHRIST, YOU MOVE FAST.

WHAT'S HER NAME?

I DON'T KNOW, BUT REST ASSURED,

SHE'S NOT THE BRIDE.

THAT'S A RELIEF.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT?

AFTER ENOUGH CHAMPAGNE.

WHERE IS SHE?

THERE.

OH, GOD. BECKA?

I DIDN'T GET HER NAME.

THE ONE IN THE BLACK,

STANDING NEXT TO SARAH,

MY FIANCEÉE, IN WHITE?

YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, YEAH.

REALLY?

WELL, SHE MUST HAVE BEEN

UNCHARACTERISTICALLY NICE WITH YOU.

ABOUT HER TROUSERS,

SHE GAVE ME A REAL BOLLOCKING.

WELL, ON SECOND THOUGHT, MAYBE IT'S...

NO, I'M JUST BEING CRUEL.

SHE'S PERFECT FOR YOU.

NO, I DON'T KNOW.

YOU JUST MET HER.

I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO.

NO, NO, NO, DON'T YOU DARE. NO, NO.

RELAX.

RELAX. I'M JUST GOING TO INTRODUCE YOU TO SARAH.

IT'LL BE FINE.

OK, BUT DON'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT I SAID BEFORE...

TO BECKA. NOT EVEN TO SARAH.

OK.

HEY.

HI.

OLLY, THIS IS MY WIFE-TO-BE, SARAH.

GREAT TO MEET YOU.

OH, WE'VE MET, ACTUALLY.

YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.

ON THE BALCONY.

I BELIEVE YOU KNOW BECKA.

HEY, YOU.

HEY, FRIENDLESS, THIEVING TRANSVESTITE.

BECKA!

[JAMES LAUGHING]

SHE LIKES YOU.

CHEERS.

WE SHOULD ALL HAVE A DRINK VERY SOON.

I'D LOVE THAT. ALL RIGHT.

OK.

AND I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO WITH BECKA.

YOU KNOW, I TALKED TO HER A LITTLE MORE,

AND I THINK THAT OLD LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT THING

IS JUST A CLICHEÉ.

GOOD MAN.

HEY! OLLY!

OLLY!

HEY, STAN.

HEY.

I'VE GOT THE LATEST ISSUE

OF STRIPPED N WHIPPED FOR MURRAY.

THANKS, MAN. THANKS.

YOU DON'T HAVE A BAG, DO YOU?

YEAH, I'VE GOT ONE.

HERE YOU GO.

THANKS. SEE YOU LATER.

SEE YOU AROUND, MATE.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?

UH, IT'S LIKE 10:30 OR SOMETHING.

I KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS.

OH.

DO YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY?

MURRAY, YOU'RE BEHAVING LIKE A JEALOUS LOVER.

HOW WOULD YOU FEEL

IF I'D SUDDENLY FOUND A...

A NEW, OLD BEST FRIEND?

GUTTED, IF I WAS 10.

HELLO, KITTY.

WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO THE OLD TRADITION OF, UH...

YOU KNOW, HIDING THEM UNDER THE BED?

WHY WOULD I DO THAT?

I'M A PROUD SUBSCRIBER TO STRIPPED N WHIPPED.

WHY ARE YOU SO PERKY?

YOU HAD A GOOD TIME.

YOU MET SOMEONE.

NO.

YOU DID.

NO, I'VE GOT--I'VE GOT A GIFT FOR THESE THINGS.

CALL IT NOW...

CALL IT INTUITION.

CALL IT BLOODY ANNOYING.

ALL RIGHT, CALL IT WHAT YOU LIKE,

BUT YOU'VE FALLEN BIG-TIME.

WHO IS SHE?

THE BRIDE.

HO HO HO, BABY.

THIS JUST GETS BETTER AND BETTER.

NOW, LOOK, I HAVE TO FORGET THE WHOLE THING,

HAVEN'T I?

ARE YOU CRAZY?

NO, LOOK, LOOK, JAMES DOESN'T DESERVE HER.

HE'S A TWAT.

LOOK, THE POINT IS, I--I...

WHY WOULD I HURT MY BEST FR--

SECOND-BEST FRIEND?

NO, I THINK A BIT OF PAIN IS JUST WHAT JAMES NEEDS

TO GROW SPIRITUALLY.

I SHOULD KNOW.

YOU'RE TWISTED.

HMM, MAYBE.

LOOK, I FEEL I HAVE TO STAY AWAY

FROM THE BRIDE ALTOGETHER.

IT'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO.

LOOK, HE'S SMITTEN.

HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT HE WANTS. I MEAN...

MURRAY, HAND.

BUT I'M-- HAND, MURRAY.

YOUR ONE HOUR OF SELF-EXPRESSION

HAS LEFT US IN NO DOUBT AS TO YOUR FEELINGS.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

I THINK YOU'VE BOTH BEEN PRETTY PERSUASIVE,

BUT IF TANIA HAD BEEN GETTING MARRIED TO SOMEONE ELSE,

AND I DIDN'T BREAK IT UP,

THEN WE WOULDN'T BE TOGETHER TODAY.

SEE?

BUT HAVING SAID THAT,

I WOULDN'T HAVE BROKEN UP A PERFECTLY HAPPY COUPLE

JUST BECAUSE I FANCIED ONE OF THEM.

TOUCHEÉ.

BOLLOCKS.

Graham: I TEND TO AGREE WITH HARRY,

BUT FOR TOTALLY DIFFERENT REASONS.

YOU CAN'T BREAK UP A PERFECTLY HAPPY COUPLE

JUST 'CAUSE YOU FANCY ONE OF THEM.

THAT'S WHAT HARRY JUST SAID.

DID HE?

YEAH. YEAH.

THIS KEEPS ON HAPPENING TO ME IN COURT.

I THINK I'M GOING TO GET DISBARRED.

I WAS ONCE IN LOVE WITH THIS GIRL.

SUSAN.

SUSAN. SUSAN.

IF I HAD DONE SOMETHING ABOUT IT,

I PROBABLY WOULDN'T BE

THIS SAD, DESPERATE BARRISTER

WITH A BUNCH OF LOSER FRIENDS--

NO DISRESPECT INTENDED,

BUT I THINK I AGREE WITH MURRAY ON THIS ONE.

WELL, THAT'S ONE ALL.

SO TANIA'S GOT THE DECIDING VOTE.

WELL, I'M SURE YOU ALL KNOW WHAT I THINK.

OH, SHE'S A WOMAN.

SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT SHE THINKS.

HARRY'S RIGHT WHEN HE SAYS

YOU CAN'T GO SPLITTING UP A PERFECTLY HAPPY COUPLE

FOR NO GOOD REASON.

OH, YOU CAN'T BELIEVE A WORD SHE SAYS!

IT'S JUST, "LA LA LA LA LA!"

[SPEAKING GIBBERISH]

BUT SOMETIMES...

WELL, SOMETIMES IT'S BETTER TO DO

WHAT YOUR HEART TELLS YOU

RATHER THAN WHAT YOU THINK IS RIGHT.

I VOTE WITH MURRAY.

SHE KNOWS.

SHE KNOWS.

GAME OF POOL? YEAH.

I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK.

I HAVE TO AVOID HER.

OLLY, YOU NEED A RELATIONSHIP.

YEAH, LIKE YOU'D KNOW.

YOUR LAST GIRLFRIEND

LOCKED YOU IN A CUPBOARD FOR TWO DAYS

AND THEN DUMPED YOU.

MMM, AND IT WAS FANTASTIC.

Woman: MURRAY.

HMM.

LOOK, OLLY, MAYBE JAMES HAS CHANGED, OK?

BUT IF I CAN TELL THAT HE'S STILL SLEEPING AROUND,

NEITHER HELL NOR HIGH WATER'S

GONNA KEEP ME FROM MY PATH.

MURRAY, YOU'RE GOIN' ALL FUNDAMENTALIST ON ME.

THIS ISN'T GONNA BE LIKE THAT EPISODE

WITH KYLIE, IS IT?

[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]

SHE STILL WRITES.

LAWYERS' LETTERS DON'T COUNT.

Woman: MURRAY, BABY, HOW YOU DOING?

Murray: HI, HONEY.

I LOVE YOU.

ANYWAY, HOW ARE YOU GONNA KNOW

THAT JAMES HASN'T CHANGED?

'CAUSE I SEE THINGS.

YEAH, WELL, YOU USED TO CLAIM

YOU COULD SEE DEAD PEOPLE.

I STILL CAN.

OH, COME HERE, KITTY.

[DOOR BUZZER]

WELL, THAT COULD BE HER NOW,

BEGGING, ACHING FOR YOU.

I'LL BE IN THE KITCHEN IF YOU NEED ME.

Sarah: ♪ TA-DA

♪ TA-DA

HEY. HI.

JUST SEEN A SHOW, HEADING OFF FOR A DRINK,

REALIZED WE WERE WALKING RIGHT PAST YOUR DOOR.

THE JOYS OF LIVING IN SOHO, HUH?

SO WILL YOU JOIN US?

I CAN'T. I'VE, UM...

I'VE GOT TO DE-WORM THE CAT.

OH. MM.

OH, NO, IT'S OK, MATE. I'VE GOT IT.

YEAH, YOU GO AND HAVE A GOOD TIME.

I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT.

HI, JAMES!

MM, MURRAY.

I'LL SEE YOU.

[CAT YOWLS]

WELL, I THINK THAT MEANS YOU'RE FREE.

MAYBE A QUICK ONE THEN.

GOOD. GOOD MAN.

I KNOW THIS GREAT PUB.

WE USED TO GIVE OUR CAT A PILL FOR WORMS.

IT'S A CHRONIC CASE.

SO HOW DID YOU GUYS MEET?

OH. OH.

DID YOU READ ABOUT THAT SUBWAY CRASH LAST SUMMER?

NO.

WELL, IT WASN'T BIG, EXCEPT IN NEW YORK,

BUT IT WAS BLOODY SCARY.

BLOODY SCARY.

AND I WAS THERE IN NEW YORK JUST FOR A WEEK,

AND I WAS ON THAT SAME SUBWAY,

AND I GOT FLATTENED BY A 300-POUND MAN,

WHO DECIDED MY LAP WAS A GOOD CRUSH ZONE.

THAT'S RIGHT. I WENT TO THE HOSPITAL,

AND WHO WAS IN THE NEXT DOOR ROOM?

NO.

WE WERE THERE FOR A WEEK,

AND WE TALKED ABOUT EVERYTHING.

YOU KNOW, FILMS THAT I LOVE.

James: THAT I'D MISSED.

MY FAVORITE BOOKS...

THAT I HADN'T READ.

GREAT SPORTING MOMENTS, WHICH I HADN'T SEEN.

YEAH, YEP.

WAIT FOR ME AT THE BAR.

HI!

HI.

THE NAME'S SEAN,

AND I OWN THE PLACE.

JUST WANT TO CHECK THAT EVERYTHING'S SATISFACTORY.

YES, IT'S GREAT.

UH, SHH, SHH.

Sarah: ...SO KIND, AND HE REALLY LOOKED AFTER ME.

James: AND ON THE DAY YOU WERE GETTING OUT...

HE PROPOSED,

AND I FOOLISHLY SAID YES.

IT'S CRAZY.

[GAGGING]

LOOK, WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR 15 MINUTES--

EXCUSE ME, LOOK,

IT'S A VERY BUSY BAR.

BUT IF YOU WANT THIS KIND OF ATMOSPHERE,

STICK AROUND. RIGHT?

EXCUSE ME.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

HELLO. PASTICHE.

UH, HI, YES, I'D LIKE TO TALK

TO A CUSTOMER OF YOURS.

UM, HE'S CALLED JAMES.

HE'S THE TALL PRAT IN THE SUIT

BY THOSE SHELVES.

YOU MEAN THAT GUY OVER THERE?

YEAH.

THANKS.

Man: ARE YOU JAMES?

YES.

CALL FOR YOU AT THE BAR.

EXCUSE ME.

THANKS. HELLO?

SORRY I LIED ABOUT WHO I WAS AT THE ENGAGEMENT PARTY.

FORGET IT.

I JUST WANTED TO KNOW WHAT YOU THOUGHT OF JAMES,

YOU KNOW, BEFORE YOU KNEW WHO I WAS.

OH, YOU WANTED THE OPINION OF A MAN

WHO HAD INSULTED YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

WHAT WAS I THINKING?

WELL, HE'S GREAT.

YEAH.

YEAH, I GUESS WE WERE JUST DESTINED TO MEET.

IT'S FUNNY HOW THINGS WORK OUT.

ISN'T IT?

JUDITH? THAT'S A VERY PRETTY NAME.

THAT'S A LOVELY DRESS YOU HAVE ON.

THANKS.

SEE YOU AROUND MAYBE.

HEY.

SO WERE YOU IN NEW YORK FOR WORK?

UH-HUH. I WORK FOR A COMPANY THAT TESTS FILMS.

SHE'S A DIRECTOR'S WORST NIGHTMARE.

THAT IS SO UNTRUE.

ALL WE DO IS ANALYZE

WHAT AN AUDIENCE FEELS ABOUT A FILM.

THAT'S WHY SO MANY FILMS HAVE THEIR ENDINGS CHANGED.

JAMES, YOU'VE NEVER EVEN SEEN ONE, OK?

HE HAS NO INTEREST IN FILMS AT ALL.

OH, COME ON.

I CRIED AT THE END OF TOP GUN.

YOU LOVE FILM.

HE LOVES FILMS.

YEAH.

WHY DON'T YOU BOTH

COME TO A TEST-SCREENING TOMORROW, HUH?

I CAN'T. I'M WORKING LATE.

OLLY?

I'D LOVE TO,

BUT I REALLY HAVE TO FINISH THIS...

THING I'M WRITING.

THIS IS FROM THAT LADY OVER THERE.

SHE SAYS, "THANKS FOR EVERYTHING."

THAT'S STRANGE.

MAYBE SHE THINKS YOU'RE SOMEONE ELSE.

WHAT'S THE DRINK?

Man: A SLOW, COMFORTABLE SCREW.

IT'S LOVELY.

IT'S NICE.

Olly: MORNIN'.

YEAH, MORNING.

HOW WAS YOUR LATE-NIGHT DRINK?

OH, NOT EXCITING. I WAS TOO TIRED.

YEAH. YOU MIND IF I...

THANK YOU.

SO, SAME OLD JAMES?

STILL ARROGANT, DECEITFUL, AND SLUTTISH?

YOU PICKED THAT ALL UP FROM THE DOOR?

YOU KNOW, YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH A GIRL

WHO'S MARRYING A WOMANIZER. I MEAN,

WHAT KIND OF MATE WOULD I BE IF I DIDN'T WARN YOU?

OK, YOU'VE WARNED ME.

THIS WILL BE A MARRIAGE OF MISERY

AND LIES,

AND YOU CAN STOP IT.

MM. BACK OFF.

OOH!

WHAT'S THIS?

UM, SHE MENTIONED A FILM SCREENING.

I SAID NO, BUT SHE GAVE ME HER NUMBER ANYWAY.

YOU SAID NO?

IT'S JUST TOO PAINFUL. I CAN'T SEE HER AGAIN.

I KNOW.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

[DIALING] WHAT?

NO! GIVE ME THAT.

MURRAY!

MURRAY! MURRAY!

MURRAY! MURRAY!

OPEN THE DOOR!

[MURRAY TALKING ON TELEPHONE]

[HUSHED] YOU ARE SO FUCKING DEAD.

ODEON HAYMARKET, 8 P.M.

YOU ARE GONNA PHONE HER UP

AND CANCEL...NOW.

HA! MEMORY REDIAL?

[PRESSING BUTTONS]

NO, SORRY. THAT'S GONE, TOO.

YEAH, SO THAT'S HAPPENED.

YEAH.

LOOK, YOU CAN'T LET HER DOWN!

I MEAN, SHE'S GONNA WAIT OUTSIDE FOR YOU.

ODEON HAYMARKET, 8 P.M.

[BOYS WILL BE BOYS BY THE ORDINARY BOYS PLAYING]

♪ I'VE HAD NIGHTS I WILL NEVER FORGET ♪

♪ I'VE HAD NIGHTS I WILL ALWAYS REGRET ♪

♪ BUT I CAN TAKE IT ON THE CHIN ♪

♪ AND SAY, BOYS WILL BE BOYS ♪

[KISS]

♪ THERE'S BEEN GIRLS THAT HAVE STOLEN OUR HEARTS ♪

♪ BUT THEIR ARMS SIMPLY COULDN'T BE PRIED APART ♪

♪ WHOEVER LETS US IN'LL SAY, BOYS WILL BE BOYS ♪

♪ BOYS WILL BE BOYS TILL THE END ♪

GOD, I NEED A DRINK.

WHAT HAPPENED?

IT WAS AWFUL.

I FINALLY PLUCKED UP THE COURAGE

TO ASK OUT THIS WOMAN I'VE BEEN DEFENDING.

AND SHE SAID NO.

NO.

NO, SHE SAID YES,

AND THEN I LOST THE CASE.

SHE MIGHT BE OUT IN 4 YEARS WITH GOOD BEHAVIOR.

MIKE, A DRINK.

Becka: SO SOMEONE ON THE TUBE

YOU'VE NEVER MET BEFORE

KISSED YOUR COLLAR

AND SPRAYED PERFUME ON YOU,

AND YOU THINK IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN A MAN?

[SNIFFING] YES.

ARE YOU HAVING AN AFFAIR?

SARAH...

WE'RE GETTING MARRIED IN A WEEK.

WHY?

WHY WOULD I HAVE AN AFFAIR?

I DON'T KNOW.

I JUST THINK IT'S REALLY STRANGE.

OH, BABY.

OLLY.

OLLY, YOU BETTER GET YOUR SKATES ON.

YOU'LL BE LATE FOR SARAH.

YOU'RE MEETING SARAH?

Olly: JUST AT WORK.

THEY'RE GOING TO THE CINEMA.

BUT I THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T GONNA SEE HER ANYMORE.

UH-UH-UH-UH! YOU HAVE TO GO.

GO! GOOD LUCK.

OH, MURRAY, I'VE GOT A LETTER FROM KYLIE.

AH.

SHE'S WON ANOTHER 50 MILES

TO YOUR EXCLUSION ZONE.

MIKE, ANOTHER DRINK.

THAT'S GONNA MAKE IT CHALLENGING.

Woman, in film: ♪ AMAZING GRACE

♪ HOW SWEET THE SOUND

♪ THAT SAVED A WRETCH--

Man: STOP THE WEDDING!

[GUESTS GASP]

GRETCHEN, YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME AND LITTLE DAVY THIS WAY.

HE NEEDS YOU.

I NEED YOU.

Gretchen: YOU DO?

I LOVE YOU, GRETCHEN.

DAVY LOVES YOU, TOO.

[ARF]

I LOVE YOU, TOO.

[APPLAUSE AND CHEERING]

[ORGAN PLAYS, WOMAN SINGS]

Man: IF YOU COULD ALL TAKE THE QUESTIONNAIRE

AND, UM, FILL IT IN BEFORE YOU LEAVE.

SO WHO LIKED THE FILM?

DISLIKED THE FILM?

OK. WHY DON'T WE START TALKING ABOUT GORDON?

ANYONE HAVE ANY THOUGHTS OR FEELINGS ABOUT GORDON?

COME ON.

ANYONE?

ELLEN, WHAT DID YOU THINK OF GORDON?

GORDON WAS A SKATEBOARDING CHAMPION,

AND DAVY WAS A COMEDY-PERFORMING DOG.

HOW DID THEY MEET?

INTERESTING.

ANYONE ELSE HAVE ANY THOUGHTS ABOUT THAT?

OLLY?

UH...

PERHAPS THEY MET AT A...

CANINE SKATEBOARDING COMEDY CONVENTION.

[PERFECT LOVE SONG BY DIVINE COMEDY PLAYING]

SO LET'S JUMP TO THE ENDING.

ANYONE HAVE ANY THOUGHTS OR FEELINGS

ON THE ENDING? JIM?

NO? UH, HOW ABOUT ZIGGY?

YEAH.

OLLY?

I WOULD HAVE LIKED TO HAVE SEEN DAVY SPEAK,

JUST A FEW WORDS LIKE, "I LOVE YOU."

♪ ...AND HOLD ONTO EACH OTHER ♪

UM, ANYONE ELSE WOULD'VE LIKED THAT?

♪ SO WE DON'T FALL DOWN

HI, OLLY.

THE DIRECTOR IS SO EXCITED

ABOUT DAVY BEING ABLE TO TALK.

NO.

HE WANTED ME TO THANK YOU.

YEAH.

OH!

[LAUGHING]

OLLY, HERE.

ARE YOU OK?

YOU HAVE WARM HANDS.

THANK YOU.

YOU'RE TOTALLY SOAKED.

OH, IT'S ONLY MY BACK.

MY FOOT WAS ALREADY WET.

MY FRONT IS TOO DRY,

SO IT KIND OF EVENS THINGS UP.

OH, CHECK THIS ONE OUT.

"HOW WOULD YOU RATE THE FILM?"

"VERY POOR."

"WOULD YOU RECOMMEND THIS FILM TO YOUR FRIENDS?"

"YES, DEFINITELY."

I MEAN, WHO'D BE HIS FRIEND?

DEFINITE MODEL PSYCHOSIS.

I CAN SEE WHY JAMES ASKED YOU TO BE BEST MAN.

YOU ARE DEFINITELY EASY TO BE WITH.

YOU'RE VERY SWEET.

I HAD A LOVELY NIGHT,

AND, UH, APART FROM THE PUDDLE,

I HAD A REALLY GREAT TIME.

ME, TOO.

APART FROM THE PUDDLE.

GOOD-BYE.

GOOD NIGHT.

[TYPING]

"BEST MAN SPEECH.

"WHEN I FIRST MET JAMES..."

ERUDITE.

OK, FUNNY, FUNNY...

OK, FUNNY-- I CAN DO THIS.

[RING]

GOOD AFTERNOON. WOMEN'S SELF-HELP.

SO WE'RE GOING SHOPPING

AT SELFRIDGES THIS AFTERNOON.

AH, I'D LOVE TO, BUT I HAVE TO WORK.

YOU'VE REALLY CHANGED, MATE.

ONE WEEK AS THE BEST MAN,

AND SUDDENLY YOU CARE ABOUT YOUR CRAP, NO-HOPE JOB.

NO, I DON'T.

YOU DO.

YOU KNOW I HATE MY JOB.

LIFE.

THEN COME.

I'LL TRY MY BEST, OK? BYE.

UH, I'VE GOT A POWER LUNCH

FOLLOWED BY A BACK-TO-BACK,

SO I WON'T BE BACK HERE TILL ABOUT 5:00.

AND UNLESS ANYTHING URGENT TURNS UP,

I'M AFRAID I'M UNAVAILABLE,

BUT, REMEMBER, WHEN I'M NOT HERE,

YOU ARE MISSION CRITICAL.

YES?

[BEEP BEEP]

[BEEP]

[SERIES OF BEEPS]

[BEEPING CONTINUOUSLY]

EXCUSE ME!

EXCUSE ME!

AAH!

OLLY?

SARAH.

THIS IS A COINCIDENCE.

HUGE COINCIDENCE,

SINCE IT'S 3:00 IN THE SPORTS DEPARTMENT,

AND YOUR FLATMATE SAID TO MEET YOU HERE AT 3:00.

HE DID?

HE DID, YES.

HE DID.

HE IS A SWEETIE, THAT MURRAY.

YOU OK?

JUST A SPOT OF SHOPPING.

WELL, THANKS FOR AGREEING TO HELP.

NO PROBLEM.

SO HOW CAN I HELP EXACTLY?

OH, IT'S THIS DUMB WEDDING LIST.

JAMES HAS BEEN SO BUSY AT WORK,

AND I WAS SCARED IT WAS BECOMING TOO GIRLY, AND...

YOU DO FORGET THE FIRST TIME WE MET

I WASWEARING WOMEN'S TROUSERS.

YOU WERE.

OI, STAN, HOW'S IT GOIN'?

HANGIN' IN THERE, MATE. HANGIN' IN THERE.

I NEED TO GET SOMETHING FROM YOU.

ALWAYS A PLEASURE, NEVER A PAIN.

YEAH. AND I GOTTA USE THE PHONE AS WELL.

YEAH, SURE. THERE'S A CUPPER.

James: BECAUSE OF THE NEGATIVE EQUITY,

OUR YEAR-ON-YEAR TURNOVER

FOR THE RDB INVESTMENT LOANS, OF COURSE, IS...

Cell phone, chiming: YOU HAVE A CALL.

THAT'S ME. SORRY.

[CHIMING]

YOU HAVE A CALL.

IT'S PROBABLY NEW YORK.

[NEW YORK ACCENT] YEAH, WHERE DO YOU WANT THE OSTRICH DELIVERED?

OSTRICH?

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

UH, YEAH, I GOT IT RIGHT HERE.

IT'S A FRIENDLY OSTRICH, YOU KNOW,

AND THEY TEND NOT TO BE SO FRIENDLY.

I THINK YOU'VE GOT THE WRONG NUMBER.

OH.

THANKS, ROSE.

[CHIMING] ♪ RING RING RING

YOU HAVE A CALL.

SORRY. REALLY SORRY.

YES?

UH, MR. JAMES COLYNS?

YES.

I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS KIND OF CRAP, MAN.

FUCK OFF.

Stan: AS MANY AS YOU WANT, MATE.

BROKERS.

HA.

[CHIMING] ♪ RING RING

OH, FOR GOD'S SAKE.

♪ RING RING

Recording: THE PERSON YOU ARE CALLING

IS NOT AVAILABLE.

PLEASE HANG UP AND TRY AGAIN--

IT'S RIDICULOUS.

I WISH WE COULD JUST DUMP

THE WHOLE WEDDING LIST ALTOGETHER.

WE REALLY DON'T NEED ANYTHING.

I MEAN, I LOVE THE ROMANTIC IMAGE

OF THE WEDDING, BUT....

THE REALITY IS A NIGHTMARE.

MARRIAGE SHOULD BE ABOUT LOVE AND RESPECT,

NOT PRESENTS AND A GOOD SHOW.

OH, IT'S OVER THIS WAY.

BUT YOU AND JAMES ARE IN LOVE.

IT'S THAT SIMPLE.

WELL, IF IT'S THAT SIMPLE,

WHAT ABOUT YOU AND BECKA?

JAMES SAID HE'S NEVER SEEN ANYONE

QUITE SO SMITTEN.

IT WAS DARK,

AND WE HAD A QUICK CONVERSATION.

I THINK I HAD A CONCUSSION.

BECKA HAS HAD A FEW BAD RELATIONSHIPS,

BUT DEEP DOWN, SHE'S A VERY GOOD PERSON.

NO, I'M NOT SAYING I WON'T LIKE HER AS A FRIEND.

IT'S JUST THAT ROMANTICALLY IT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN.

THERE WAS NO LIGHTNING BOLT.

WELL, ACTUALLY, THERE WAS,

BUT IT WAS THE KIND YOU FIND IN HORROR MOVIES.

WELL, IT DOESN'T ALWAYS HAPPEN LIKE THAT.

YOU DON'T THINK SO?

WHEN YOU GROW UP, FALLING IN LOVE

BECOMES MORE ABOUT FINDING SOMEONE

WHOSE STRENGTHS MATCH YOUR WEAKNESSES,

WHO YOU CAN SPEND SUNDAY EVENINGS WITH,

WHO YOU DON'T MIND LYING NEXT TO EVERY NIGHT,

IF ONLY BECAUSE IT'S INFINITELY MORE BEARABLE

THAN BEING ON YOUR OWN.

NO, IT DOESN'T.

WHAT DO YOU KNOW?

I'VE BEEN IN LOVE.

YOU HAVE?

WHAT WAS IT LIKE?

SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT

THE GROUND FALLS AWAY BENEATH YOU.

BUT, WITH ME, IT WAS AS IF

I SUDDENLY KNEW THE GROUND WAS THERE.

AS THOUGH I COULD FEEL THE ENTIRE PLANET

RIGHT THERE BENEATH THE SOLES OF MY FEET.

ALTHOUGH, I FELT THE SAME WAY

WHEN I WENT UP THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING.

WHAT HAPPENED?

I THREW UP.

CAN'T STAND HEIGHTS.

NO.

I MEAN WITH THE GIRL.

Woman: SARAH BARKER.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

YES?

HELLO.

I'M FROM MICHAEL MIRKEN ESTATE AGENTS.

JAMES ASKED ME TO VALUE THE FLAT.

I DON'T THINK SO.

HAVE YOU GOT ANY I.D.?

VERY CLEVER.

I COULD BE ANYONE.

YOU KNOW, AND IT'S DESPICABLE

WHAT PEOPLE GET UP TO THESE DAYS.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

GOSH, I COULD BE A THIEF

OR A MUGGER

OR A SEXUAL DEVIANT.

LOOKING AT YOU, I VERY MUCH DOUBT THAT,

BUT THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE.

SO JAMES IS SELLING THE FLAT, IS HE?

NICE OF HIM TO TELL ME.

HE HASN'T TOLD YOU?

WELL, I JUST SPOKE TO HIM ON HIS MOBILE.

DO YOU WANT TO GIVE HIM A BELL?

HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT YOUR LIST AT ALL?

YES, I DO HAVE A FEW IDEAS.

OH, GOOD.

WELL, IF YOU'D JUST LIKE TO COME THIS WAY,

WE'LL GIVE YOU A FEW...

I DO.

OLLY.

DANA?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

Woman: WHAT COLOR DO YOU WANT THE BRIDESMAIDS IN?

UH, THERE ARE NO BRIDESMAIDS.

THERE'S NO GROOM, THERE'S NO WEDDING.

THIS ISN'T EVEN THE BRIDAL DEPARTMENT.

WHAT'S HAPPENED?

IS IT OFF?

SHE'S ALREADY MARRIED.

THAT IS ENOUGH, OLLY!

I AM IN A MEETING!

A MEETING?

YES.

NOW, ONE OF US

IS BEGINNING TO LOOK PRETTY STUPID HERE.

WELL...

SEE YOU BACK AT THE OFFICE.

WHAT?!

SO THIS IS THE SECOND STUNNING BEDROOM,

BOASTING CONTEMPORARY LIVING.

HAPPY, ARE THEY, JAMES AND SARAH?

WHAT'S THAT GOT TO DO WITH THE VALUE OF THE PROPERTY?

YOU'D BE SURPRISED.

EN SUITEBATHROOM, HIS AND HER TOILETS.

THAT'S A BIDET.

OH.

SO A FRENCH TOILET.

OH, AND WALL-MOUNTED MANACLES.

SO, NOT HAPPY THEN?

IF YOU WANT MY OPINION,

ACTUALLY, NO, THEY'RE NOT.

AND THOSE ARE TOWEL RAILS.

HMM.

FANTASTIC...

FLAT.

THIRD BEDROOM?

WALK-IN CUPBOARD.

CUPBOARD?

HMM.

ARE YOU AN ARIES?

ARE YOU AN ESTATE AGENT,

OR A CHEAP ASTROLOGER?

YOU KNOW, LEAVE NO STONE UNTURNED.

I MEAN, KNOWLEDGE IS POWER.

THAT'S BERT AND ERNIE-- SESAME STREET.

OH, MY FEET.

OH.

OH, WILL YOU JUST DROP THE BAGS RIGHT THERE?

THANK YOU. YOU'RE AN ANGEL, OLLY.

OH, I SEE YOU BROUGHT THE CHARMING BEST MAN

HOME WITH YOU.

SPOT OF SHOPPING WITH THE TOP GIRL?

HI.

I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE SELLING THE FLAT.

SELLING THE FLAT?

THE ESTATE AGENT.

THE REALTOR, HE'S STILL HERE.

I'M SO CONFUSED.

JAMES HAS ORGANIZED EVALUATION FOR THIS FLAT.

HE NEVER SAID ANYTHING TO ME.

BECKA, ARE YOU SURE HE'S AN ESTATE AGENT?

YEAH, I THINK SO.

I LEFT HIM THROUGH THERE.

WOULD YOU GO DO SOMETHING?

YEAH, I'LL GO.

TONY?

YEAH, RIGHT, JIM.

YOU WAIT HERE.

Sarah: THIS IS SO CREEPY.

WE SHOULD CALL THE POLICE.

Becka: ACTUALLY, HE SEEMED QUITE NICE.

Olly: NICE?

Sarah: WHAT DID HE WANT?

AAH.

I DON'T KNOW. HE KEPT ASKING ALL THESE QUESTIONS

ABOUT THE FLAT, ABOUT WHO I LIVED WITH.

IN FACT, I THINK HE ASKED ME MORE QUESTIONS

IN THE TIME HE WAS HERE THAN MY LAST BOYFRIEND DID

DURING AN ENTIRE TWO-YEAR ORDEAL.

Sarah: REALLY?

WHAT DID HE LOOK LIKE?

KINDA CUTE.

HE HAD THIS CHEEKY, YOUNG FACE,

AND HE ATE ALL OUR BISCUITS.

ALL RIGHT, I'M GOING INSIDE.

I'M GONNA CALL JAMES.

OK.

YEAH, LET'S GO.

OH, NO.

AAH!

IT'S OK.

UM, I'M OFF THE TELLY,

SO, YEAH.

WOULD YOU TYPE THIS UP FOR ME, PLEASE?

YEAH, SURE.

THIS LETTER IS FIRING ME.

YES, AND WHEN YOU FINISH,

BRING IT THROUGH FOR ME TO SIGN.

I'M NOT GONNA TYPE UP MY OWN DISMISSAL LETTER.

WELL, WHO ELSE CAN DO IT?

I CAN'T DO IT MYSELF. HOW WOULD THAT LOOK?

IS THIS BECAUSE I CAUGHT YOU TRYING ON A DRESS

FOR A FICTITIOUS WEDDING?

ARE YOU EVEN MARRIED?

DO YOU EVEN HAVE A HUSBAND?

YOU HAVE RECENTLY MADE AN UNOFFICIAL EXCURSION,

WHICH IS SPECIFICALLY AGAINST

THE TERMS OF YOUR CONTR--

THIS IS FROM A CATALOG.

YOU'VE BEEN LYING ABOUT BEING MARRIED

FOR 3 YEARS?

YOU'RE FIRED, OLLY.

ALL THOSE POINTLESS LATE NIGHTS?

I KNEW YOU'D TAKE THIS PERSONALLY.

MAKING ME FEEL GUILTY?

CONTROL YOURSELF. MANAGE YOUR ANGER.

YOU DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A HUSBAND TO GO HOME TO.

YOU'RE FIRED! FIRED, FIRED, FIRED!

SECURITY!

ENDLESSLY PHOTOCOPYING MANAGEMENT DOCUMENTS,

DETAILING THE WORK ETHIC OF THE DEPARTMENT!

THAT'S ME AND YOU!

OUT!

YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY GETS TO ME?

NO!

YOU EVEN SPELLED MY NAME WRONG.

[SNAPS PENCIL]

I'M SO SORRY.

WHO ARE YOU?

SECURITY. LET ME HELP YOU.

PLEASE DON'T HIT ME AGAIN!

I DIDN'T HIT YOU.

JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!

LOOK, IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

I'M SURE--OHH!

YOU KNOW, I REALIZED SOMETHING ABOUT JAMES TODAY.

HE'S GOT NO FRIENDS.

HE'S ENTIRELY FRIENDLESS, APART FROM YOU,

AND YOU'RE SOMEONE ELSE'S FRIEND.

AH, HE'S GOT CHRIS, WHO'S ORGANIZING THE STAG PARTY.

THEY WERE IN THE POWERS TOGETHER.

UH-HUH, AND APART FROM POWER CHRIS?

PROBABLY GOT A BUNCH IN AMERICA,

COMING OVER FOR THE WEDDING.

HOW MANY?

OK, TWO, BUT HE WANTED TO KEEP IT SMALL.

[CHUCKLES]

WELL, SURELY, SARAH SHOULD BE MARRYING

A MORE POPULAR GUY.

Tania: YOU CAN'T CONDEMN A GUY

JUST 'CAUSE HE HASN'T GOT MANY FRIENDS.

Graham: ACTUALLY, UH, YOU CAN.

CASE OF BRIDGES VS. BRIDGES.

UH, THE HUSBAND LOST HIS HOUSE AND LAND

DUE TO A DISTINCT LACK OF FRIENDS.

AH!

NOW WHY CAN'T I

REMEMBER THAT STUFF IN COURT?

BECKA, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

I DON'T KNOW WITH JAMES AND THE WHOLE BAR

AND THE PERFUME.

I MEAN, SHOULD I BE READING MORE INTO THIS?

I DON'T KNOW.

I TRIED TO GET A HOLD OF HIM ALL DAY ON HIS CELL,

AND HE'S NOT PICKING UP.

THIS IS BECOMING REALLY HARD.

WHAT'S THAT?

THESE AREN'T MINE.

WELL, I CAN TELL YOU, THEY'RE NOT MINE, EITHER.

WHAT ARE THEY?

IT'S MISSING...ITS BIT

WHERE IT SHOULD BE.

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?

SARAH...

ARE YOU SELLING MY APARTMENT?

HA! NO.

WHY?

ARE YOU SEEING SOMEONE?

OF COURSE NOT.

SARAH, WE'VE GOT TO BE AT THE THEATER

IN 20 MINUTES.

I KNOW.

HAVE YOU BEEN DRINKING?

ONE.

JUST NOW. WHAT IS THIS?

YOU'RE BEHAVING VERY STRANGELY.

WHAT ARE THESE?

WELL, THEY'RE A PAIR OF CROTCHLESS PANTIES.

I KNOW WHAT THEY ARE.

WHY DO YOU HAVE THEM?

I DON'T.

[WHISPERING] You have.

WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?

DOING WHAT? I...

IT WAS A TOUGH DAY AT WORK,

AND I NEEDED A DRINK.

WHY WAS YOUR CELL PHONE TURNED OFF ALL AFTERNOON?

BECAUSE I WAS GETTING REALLY WEIRD CALLS.

CALLS?

YES. CALLS ABOUT-- ABOUT AN OSTRICH.

WHAT ARE YOU INSINUATING ANYWAY?

THIS FEELS LIKE SOME KIND OF INQUISITION.

GIVE ME YOUR PHONE.

AH, RIGHT.

IF I GIVE YOU THIS PHONE,

HOW CAN I EVER TRUST YOU TRUST ME...

EVER AGAIN?

IF YOU DON'T GIVE ME THE PHONE,

I WON'T TRUST YOU ANYWAY.

MM. WELL, WHAT'S IT GONNA BE THEN?

HERE. GIVE ME THE PHONE.

SO THIS OSTRICH PERSON WAS YOUR LAST PHONE CALL,

IS THAT RIGHT?

[DIALING]

MISSED. MM-HMM.

[TELEPHONE RINGS BY PLAYING TUNE]

HELLO. NIGHT MOVES.

HI. WHAT DO YOU SELL?

UH, WE SELL ADULT VIDEOS AND SEX TOYS.

WELL, IT SEEMS THAT MY FIANCEÉE

WANTS TO CHECK ON AN ORDER.

HOLD ON ONE SECOND.

I'M GOING OUT. BECKA?

YES?

YEAH, WE GOT A SPECIAL ON, MATE.

UH, RABBIT DILDOS.

GOD.

WHAT ABOUT THE THEATER?

GO WITH YOUR FRIEND FROM THE BAR, JAMES,

OR THE OSTRICH!

RIGHT.

[BREATHE ME BY SIA PLAYING]

Sarah: HE IS SUCH A FUCKING ASSHOLE.

I MEAN, COMING IN THERE LATE,

NOT HAVING HIS PHONE TURNED ON?

YOU KNOW, WHAT-- WHAT'S HE THINKING?

WHAT'S HE FEELING?

WHY ISN'T HE TRYING TO REASSURE ME?

BECAUSE HE'S A MAN,

AND MEN ARE CRAP WITH EMPATHY,

CRAP WITH EMOTION,

AND ONLY REALLY GOOD AT PRETENDING TO WORK

AND LYING.

WAS THAT A LITTLE HARSH?

I DON'T THINK SO.

BECKA, BUT NOT ALL MEN ARE LIKE THAT.

TRUST ME, UNDERNEATH, THEY ARE.

OLLY ISN'T.

I WAS TALKING ABOUT MEN.

HE MIGHT KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON WITH JAMES.

OH, PLEASE.

HE'S A PRETTY PERCEPTIVE, SMART GUY.

HE'S A KLUTZ.

HE'S NOT.

WELL, HE IS, BUT HE'S A CUTE KLUTZ.

Sia: ♪ ...AND BREATHE ME

MM, THIS'LL CHEER YOU UP.

DANA FIRED ME TODAY.

SHE FIRED YOU?

WHY?

FOR MY UNAUTHORIZED TRIP TO SELFRIDGES.

OLLY, I'M SORRY.

Olly: IT'S MY OWN FAULT.

I CHOSE TO LEAVE.

WHO IS IT WHO SAID,

"GETTING FIRED IS NATURE'S WAY

"OF TELLING YOU YOU HAD THE WRONG JOB

IN THE FIRST PLACE"?

SHE CAN'T DO THAT TO YOU.

IT'S ILLEGAL.

I THINK I'M GONNA PAY HER A VISIT.

GRAHAM...

NO, OLLY, IT'S ILLEGAL.

GRAHAM, IT'S A HUGE RELIEF.

NOW I HAVE THIS STRANGE FEELING

THAT SOMETHING GOOD'S GONNA COME OUT OF IT.

YEAH, LIKE POVERTY AND HOMELESSNESS.

[LAUGHING]

WHICH IS NOT GOOD IF YOU'RE TRYING TO PULL SARAH.

I'M NOT TRYING TO PULL SARAH.

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

SORRY.

[RING]

HELLO?

SARAH!

OH-HO.

SHH.

UM...WAIT A SECOND.

SHE WANTS TO ASK ME SOME STUFF ABOUT JAMES TONIGHT.

DO I GO?

YES.

Graham: WELL, IT'S NOT AS IF YOU'RE TRYING

TO PULL HER, IS IT?

[LAUGHING]

OK, WHERE AND WHEN?

HEY, GUYS.

HI, OLLY.

SIT DOWN.

THANKS FOR COMING.

LOOK, I'M HAVING A LOT OF DOUBTS RIGHT NOW

ABOUT MY WHOLE WEDDING,

AND I FEEL LIKE I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHO JAMES IS ANYMORE,

AND THESE...

THESE WEIRD THINGS KEEP HAPPENING.

LET'S JUST CUT TO THE CHASE.

IS JAMES HAVING AN AFFAIR?

NO.

OF COURSE NOT.

THERE'S PROBABLY SOME REALLY SIMPLE EXPLANATION.

HAS HE HAD AN AFFAIR BEFORE?

HE HAD A CERTAIN REPUTATION IN COLLEGE,

BUT THAT WAS WAY BACK.

JAMES WANTS TO MARRY YOU.

THAT'S WHAT MATTERS.

WHY DON'T I FEEL THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS?

WHAT ABOUT WHAT I WANT?

WHAT DOYOU WANT?

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

[RING]

HELLO.

MURRAY?

MURRAY?

OK.

WHY-- WHY IS HE CALLING YOU?

REALLY?

WHAT'S HE SAYING?

BYE.

YOU'RE MAKING ME VERY NERVOUS.

UM, MURRAY LET ME INTO A LITTLE SECRET.

A SECRET THAT I THINK

YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME ABOUT.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT MIGHT BE?

YEAH.

I DON'T WANT YOU TO SAY ANYTHING.

I WANT YOU TO COME WITH US.

YOU KNOW THAT MURRAY. I MEAN, HE'S...

OLLY?

HERE WE ARE.

THIS IS MY HOUSE.

NOT A WORD.

SHH.

SURPRISE! SURPRISE!

[CHEERING]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, OLLY!

HEY, GUY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

GET OVER HERE, MATE.

THANKS.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MATE.

[LAUGHING]

THANKS.

MURRAY, YOU IDIOT, IT'S NOT MY BIRTHDAY.

WE ALL KNOW THAT, BUT SARAH DOESN'T.

ALL SHE KNOWS IS

YOU'RE ONE HECK OF A POPULAR GUY.

HI. I'M SARAH.

WHO ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE?

THEY'RE REGULAR PEOPLE, THEY'RE OUR PEOPLE.

YOU KNOW, PIMPS, PROSTITUTES, THIEVES.

PUT THE VASE DOWN.

SURPRISE.

UNBELIEVABLE.

OH, IT'S ALWAYS FANTASTIC TO...

TO MEET SOMEONE OUT OF THE FIELD,

SO TO SPEAK.

UM...BECKA.

THIS IS OLLY. OLLY, BECKA.

WE ALREADY KNOW EACH OTHER.

THAT'S EVEN MORE UNBELIEVABLE.

WHAT ARE THE CHANCES OF THAT?

UH, SO WHAT CAN I GET YOU, BEER, WINE?

Becka: NO, THANKS.

CAN WE HAVE SOME MUSIC, PLEASE?

[JERK IT OUT BY CAESARS PLAYING]

THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITES!

LIKE TO DANCE?

I'M QUITE THE DANCER.

I'VE BEEN TOLD I GOT THE MOVES.

♪ I'LL BE RUNNIN' CIRCLES AROUND YOU ♪

♪ SOONER THAN YOU KNOW

♪ A LITTLE OFF CENTER AND I'M OUT OF TUNE... ♪

WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?

WHAT'S THAT?

AT THE FLAT, WHERE'D YOU GO?

IT WAS A FANTASTIC FLAT.

WELL, WHERE DID YOU GO?

THIS IS WONDERFUL.

WHAT A GREAT BUNCH OF FRIENDS YOU HAVE.

YEAH.

I HAVEN'T SEEN THEM... FOR YEARS.

BIG ISSUE?

♪ ...THEN YOU JERK IT OUT

OH, UH, YES.

I NEVER HAD A SURPRISE PARTY.

IT'S MY FIRST.

♪ SHUT UP, HUSH YOUR MOUTH ♪

DO YOU MIND IF I DANCE WITH THE BIRTHDAY BOY?

IT'S JUST THAT HE'S THE ONLY MAN IN THE ROOM

WHO CAN REALLY CUT THE MUSTARD.

♪ NO, I CAN'T HEAR NOTHING

♪ 'CAUSE I GOT MY HEAD UP IN THE CLOUDS ♪

YOU DIDN'T TELL ME SHE WAS SO GORGEOUS.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE IN ON THIS.

[LAUGHING]

♪ CHASING CARS UP AND DOWN THE AVENUE ♪

♪ BUT THAT'S OK

♪ BECAUSE IT'S EASY ONCE YOU KNOW HOW IT'S DONE ♪

♪ YOU CAN'T STOP NOW, IT'S ALREADY BEGUN ♪

♪ YOU FEEL IT RUNNIN' THROUGH YOUR BONES ♪

[SLOWER SONG PLAYING]

[LAUGHING]

LET'S DO THIS ABOUT JAMES.

MM-MMM. YES.

YES. MMM!

"PLEASE PUT THE CROSS

"NEXT TO EACH OF THE WORDS AND PHRASES BELOW

"THAT YOU THINK DESCRIBES THE FILM/JAMES

"THAT YOU'VE JUST SEEN.

ENTERTAINING."

SOMETIMES.

"LEAVES YOU FEELING GOOD."

NO.

"WELL-ACTED."

I'M NOT CONVINCED.

UH-UH.

[LAUGHING]

"BORING/DULL."

YES.

TOO WORK-FOCUSED.

I'M GONNA WRITE THAT IN.

THERE'S NO CATEGORY FOR THAT.

"DIFFERENT/ORIGINAL."

NO. NO.

"GOOD ACTION."

HMM.

YES, I GUESS.

YES? OH.

"NOT FUNNY ENOUGH."

YES.

"CONFUSING."

VERY.

"BELIEVABLE."

NO.

"NOT MY KIND OF FILM."

HE CANNOT BE DESCRIBED AS A BOX OFFICE SUCCESS.

OHH, BECKA.

OHH...

OK, GUYS, BYE-BYE.

NICE PARTY. TAKE CARE.

OLLY.

SARAH.

HAVE YOU SEEN BECKA?

NO. SHE MUST HAVE LEFT.

GUESS SHE WAS PRETTY DRUNK.

GOOD NIGHT.

I HAD A GREAT TIME.

YEAH. ME, TOO.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

[RING]

[RING]

HELLO?

OLLY, SARAH'S GONNA CALL OFF THE WEDDING.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. I...

I CAN'T LOSE HER.

I LOVE HER, YOU KNOW.

YOU'VE GOT TO HELP ME.

SORRY. I CAN'T, AND I WON'T.

Olly: MURRAY, GET OFF THE PHONE.

[CHUCKLING]

JAMES, YEAH, OF COURSE I'LL HELP.

CAN YOU MEET ME?

UH...

YEAH, OK.

WHEN?

UM...AFTER WORK TODAY.

YEAH.

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?

IT'S OFFICIAL.

I'M A GENIUS.

WAIT. YOU DID THIS?

WELL, IF THEY WERE SO IN LOVE,

THEN HOW COME A FEW LITTLE COMPLICATIONS

SPLIT THEM UP?

WHAT DID YOU DO?

LOOK, IT'S OBVIOUS.

JAMES IS A SHAG-AHOLIC.

I JUST COULDN'T CATCH HIM ON THE JOB.

WELL, THAT'S NO REASON TO...

OLLY, YOU'RE AN AMAZING PERSON.

YOU'RE A SPECIAL PERSON.

STOP THE PERFORMANCE.

THIS ISN'T A PERFORMANCE.

THIS IS THE REAL MUZZ.

OLLY, YOU DESERVE THE BEST,

AND SARAH IS THE BEST.

AND IF YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH HER,

AND I KNOW YOU ARE,

THEN ALL I'VE DONE IS GIVEN HER SPACE

TO SEE HOW FANTASTIC YOU ARE.

WHAT WERE YOU THINKIN'?

JAMES LOVES SARAH, AND I'M HIS BEST MAN.

IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU AND ME.

WELL, I WAS THINKING OF YOU,

AND IF THAT'S WRONG, WELL, THEN I'LL LEAVE.

BOLLOCKS. GO ON. GO THEN.

OK, SO I BLOODY HATE JAMES,

AND THIS HAS BEEN A VERY CATHARTIC PROCESS FOR ME.

BECKA.

MURRAY, DID YOU ORGANIZE THE CROTCHLESS PANTIES?

YES.

AND THE SLOW, COMFORTABLE SCREW?

YES.

AND THE OSTRICH?

YES.

I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS.

I HAVE TO GO.

SUIT YOURSELF. I'VE DONE IT FOR YOU.

WHO WAS THE MAN ON THE TUBE

WITH THE PERFUME AND THE LIPSTICK?

ME.

YOU HAVE BEEN A NAUGHTY...

NAUGHTY BOY.

I HAVE.

OLLY. HEY.

THANKS FOR COMIN'.

YOU ALL RIGHT?

OH, MAN.

SO WHY DID YOU AND SARAH FALL IN LOVE IN THE FIRST PLACE?

I DON'T KNOW.

I'M GOOD-LOOKING.

I'M CHARMING.

BUT SHE WAS INJURED,

AND YOU LOOKED AFTER HER, RIGHT?

YEAH, YEAH.

BUT SHE'S NOT INJURED NOW.

WHICH MEANS...

YOU'RE NOT SUGGESTING I GET HER INJURED, ARE YOU?

NO.

IN NEW YORK, YOU CARED ABOUT HER.

YOU SHOWED HER THAT YOU LOVED HER, RIGHT?

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU DID THAT?

UH...

YOU KNOW, YOU GOTTA THINK LIKE BOGART IN CASABLANCA,

GABLE IN GONE WITH THE WIND.

NO.

TOM CRUISE IN TOP GUN?

YEAH. YES, I'M WITH YOU.

SO WHAT DOES CRUISE DO WHEN GOOSE BANGS HIS HEAD?

WELL, HE WASHES OUT OF TOP GUN,

AND THE ICEMAN WINS.

WHAT ABOUT THE GIRL?

WELL, HE GOES BACK TO THE SHIP,

AND HE HAS THIS REALLY COOL DOGFIGHT

WHERE HE KILLS A COUPLE OF RUSKIES.

WHAT'S THIS GOT TO DO WITH SARAH?

HE LEAVES THE GIRL.

BUT SARAH'S LEAVING ME.

YEAH, BUT HE LOVES THE GIRL, BUT HE LEAVES HER.

WHAT?

YOU'RE CRACKING UP.

GOD.

SARAH'S NOT SURE THAT YOU LOVE HER.

OH.

OF COURSE, I DO.

OK, BUT SHE DOESN'T BELIEVE IT.

WHY NOT?

BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT SEEING HER FOR HER,

AS AN INDIVIDUAL.

OH, GOD.

HOW DO I DO THAT?

YOU LEAVE,

NOT BECAUSE YOU DON'T LOVE HER,

WHICH, FOR THE RECORD,

YOU DO MORE THAN ANY MAN EVER DID.

BECAUSE YOU CAN'T LIVE WITH EVEN THE POSSIBILITY

THAT SHE DOESN'T FEEL THE SAME.

BEFORE YOU GO, YOU WRITE HER A LETTER.

YES.

A LETTER WHICH TELLS HER

EVERYTHING SHE WANTS TO HEAR AND MORE.

I DELIVER IT.

YES, SHE READS IT.

JUST IN TIME FOR HER TO RACE TO THE AIRPORT

AND STOP YOU GETTING ON THE PLANE.

DO YOU THINK IT'LL WORK?

WELL, YOU ONLY KNOW HOW MUCH YOU LOVE SOMEONE

WHEN YOU LOSE THEM.

YOU'RE A GENIUS.

NOW GO WRITE IT.

MMM, YES.

YES.

James: "DEAR..."

Olly: "SARAH."

"DEAR SARAH..."

HOW WOULD YOU NORMALLY START A LETTER?

"FOLLOWING UP PREVIOUS CONVERSATION ON THE 16th..."

NO, YOU'RE NOT EXTENDING HER OVERDRAFT.

"UH, DEAR SARAH...

"NOW THAT I KNOW YOU DON'T LOVE ME,

"I HAVE DECIDED TO LEAVE TOWN.

"I ONLY WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY.

"BEFORE I GO, I JUST WANT TO SAY..."

AT WHICH POINT, YOU TELL HER HOW MUCH YOU LOVE HER.

ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT TO WRITE THIS?

LOOK, I HAVE A CONFESSION.

I'M NOT REALLY A WRITER.

LOOK, I'M JUST A P.A., OK?

YOU'RE NOT A WRITER?

NO.

SO YOU DECEIVED ME.

WELL, WHAT ABOUT MY BEST MAN SPEECH?

IT'S HARDLY RELEVANT AT THE MOMENT,

BUT, UH...

FOR THE RECORD, IT'S NOT GOOD.

SO WHAT DO WE DO?

LOOK AT ME.

LOOK AT ME. RELAX YOUR JAW.

NOW, WHAT FIRST ATTRACTED YOU TO SARAH?

BE HONEST.

HER FATHER'S MONEY.

THAT'S A JOKE, RIGHT?

YEAH.

HONESTLY...

I FOUND HER TO BE BEAUTIFUL.

SHE'S A BEAUTIFUL PERSON, YES.

MAYBE A LITTLE MORE SOULFUL.

I LIKE...

THE SMELL OF HER HAIR.

EVEN MORE SOULFUL.

I LOVE THE SMELL OF HER HAIR.

NO, YOU SAY YOU LIKE THE SMELL OF HER HAIR,

WHAT YOU'RE REALLY SAYING IS

THAT YOU LIKE HER SHAMPOO

COUPLED WITH THE FACT THAT SHE USES IT REGULARLY.

I CAN'T DO THIS.

COME ON! THERE'S TONS OF THINGS TO LIKE ABOUT SARAH.

SUCH AS?

I'M NOT THE ONE WHO'S SUPPOSED TO BE IN LOVE WITH HER.

YOU ARE.

PRETEND YOU ARE.

YEAH.

WHAT ABOUT WHEN SHE TAKES OFF HER SHOES

AND WIGGLES HER TOES?

I'VE NEVER NOTICED, BUT...

THAT'S GOOD.

WHAT ABOUT WHEN SHE'S UP RUNNING

ONE OF HER DISCUSSION GROUPS,

AND SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE OWNS THE WHOLE WORLD?

I'VE NEVER BEEN TO ONE.

OR THE WAY HER HIPS MOVE WHEN SHE DANCES?

OH, YEAH, I LOVE THAT.

OR HER WARM HANDS?

ALTHOUGH SOMETIMES THEY CAN GET A BIT SWEATY.

OK, BUT DON'T WRITE THAT LAST BIT.

RIGHT.

WHAT ABOUT THE WAY WHEN SHE--

SLOW DOWN, SLOW DOWN.

NO, NO, YOU DO IT.

NO, I...

PLEASE.

WHAT ABOUT THE WAY SHE CAN ARGUE

ABOUT ABSOLUTELY NOTHING

AND STILL WIN YOU 'ROUND TO HER POINT OF VIEW?

LOOK, I'M JUST GONNA POP OUT FOR COFFEE.

ARE YOU...

NO, YOU GO.

BE RIGHT BACK. OK?

The Polyphonic Spree: ♪ LIGHT AND DAY

♪ IS MORE THAN YOU'LL SAY ♪

♪ 'CAUSE ALL MY FEELINGS

♪ ARE MORE THAN I CAN LET BY ♪

♪ OR NOT

♪ MORE THAN YOU'VE GOT

♪ JUST FOLLOW THE DAY

♪ FOLLOW THE DAY

FINISHED!

♪ AND REACH FOR THE SUN

I THINK YOU'LL LIKE IT.

YEAH, I'LL SEE YOU.

ALL RIGHT. BYE.

EXCUSE ME?

YES, WHAT CAN I GET YOU?

UM...TAP WATER.

OK.

♪ ONE MORE, YOU'RE NUTS

♪ JUST FOLLOW THE SEASONS AND FIND THE TIME ♪

♪ REACH FOR THE BRIGHT SIDE ♪

[URINATING]

♪ YOU DON'T SEE ME FLYIN' TO THE RED ♪

♪ ONE MORE, YOU'RE NUTS

♪ JUST FOLLOW THE DAY...

OLLY, THIS IS WONDERFUL.

IT'S REALLY VERY TENDER.

♪ REACH FOR THE SUN

IT'S ALL YOURS NOW.

THANKS, OLLY.

SHE WILL.

♪ FOLLOW THE DAY

♪ FOLLOW THE DAY

♪ AND REACH FOR THE SUN

DON'T WORRY. IT'S IN SAFE HANDS.

HERE. TAKE THE CAR.

REALLY?

YOU'RE THE BEST MAN IN MY COURT.

GO ON. GO, GO, GO, GO, GO.

♪ REACH FOR THE BRIGHT SIDE ♪

♪ YOU DON'T SEE ME FLYING TO THE RED ♪

♪ ONE MORE, YOU'RE NUTS

♪ JUST FOLLOW THE DAY

♪ FOLLOW THE DAY

♪ AND REACH FOR THE SUN

[RINGS DOORBELL]

HEY.

HI.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

LETTER FROM JAMES.

OH, I SEE.

SHALL I MAKE SOME COFFEE?

WOULD YOU MIND?

NO.

OH.

HERE YOU GO.

THANKS.

OH, I'M IN SHOCK.

I HAD NO IDEA.

I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS THE SAME PERSON.

WELL, SOMETIMES WRITING BRINGS OUT THE, YOU KNOW,

DIFFERENT SIDE IN SOMEONE.

DO YOU KNOW WHERE HE IS?

YEAH, HE, UH...

HE MENTIONED SOMETHING ABOUT, UM...

A FLIGHT TO NEW YORK EARLY THIS MORNING.

NO.

WE HAVE TO STOP HIM.

COME ON!

THERE HE IS.

JAMES! JAMES!

JAMES!

JAMES!

SARAH!

OH, MY GOD, I GOT YOUR LETTER.

I WAS GONNA GET ON THE PLANE.

I DON'T WANT YOU TO LEAVE. I WANT TO M--

James: OLLY!

OLLY!

CAR KEYS.

COME ON.

THANKS.

[PAIN ON PAINBY FEEDER PLAYING]

♪ STAY

♪ FOR LIFE

♪ FOR LIFE

♪ ALL YOU DISCOVER

♪ STAY

♪ FOR LIFE

♪ FOR LIFE

♪ THIS MOMENT TOGETHER

♪ TO HEAL YOURSELF

♪ LOVE CAN HEAL

♪ CAN'T WATCH YOU FALL

I DID THE RIGHT THING, DIDN'T I?

♪ PAIN ON PAIN...

I'M NOT SURE.

BEHOLD THE SYMBOL OF WEDLOCK--

THE PERFECT CIRCLE OF LOVE,

THE UNBROKEN UNION OF THIS MAN

AND THIS WOMAN,

UNITED HERE TODAY.

MAY YOU BOTH REMAIN FAITHFUL

TO THE SYMBOL OF TRUE...

Sorry.

UM...HM! HI.

UH, OLLY?

COULD I HAVE A WORD?

OBVIOUSLY WHEN YOU'VE FINISHED THE REHEARSAL.

Sorry.

WHY IS HE AT MY REHEARSAL?

AND YOUR DEEJAY FOR TONIGHT, MUZZA MC.

WELL?

DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY I'M HERE?

NOT REALLY.

'CAUSE I KNOW SOMETHING.

I KNEW YOU'D BEEN PLOTTING.

SOMETHING THE BRIDE WOULD NOT WANT TO HEAR.

STOP RIGHT THERE.

SOMETHING THAT WOULD MAKE IT CERTAIN

SHE'D NOT WANT TO MARRY THE GROOM.

I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT.

LIKE THE FACT THAT HE SHAGGED SOMEONE RECENTLY.

[AMPLIFIED] FUCK--

[FEEDBACK]

SORRY.

YOU'RE LYING. WHO THEN?

I CAN'T SAY.

I KNOW YOU'RE DOING THIS FOR ME,

BUT I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT ANYMORE.

I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU'VE BEEN

FOR THE LAST 24 HOURS, BUT IT'S BEEN BLISS,

SO JUST LEAVE ME ALONE.

WELL, ENJOY THE HAPPY DAY...

'CAUSE YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN.

[SIGH]

YOU OK?

I'M SORRY, UM...

I WAS JUST...

NERVES, HUH?

KIND OF.

I'LL, UH...

STAY A SECOND.

IT'S BEAUTIFUL WOOD THEY USE IN THESE BOOTHS.

OLLY, UM...

DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING YOU WANT TO TELL ME?

OF COURSE NOT.

ANYTHING AT ALL?

NO.

PROMISE?

YEAH, I PROMISE.

OK, UH, DO YOU WANT THE GOOD NEWS

OR THE BAD NEWS?

BAD NEWS.

RIGHT, UH...

WELL, YOU'RE STILL FIRED.

SORRY.

THE GOOD NEWS?

I'VE GOT A DATE...

WITH DANA!

YEAH.

UH? HMM?

GOOD NEWS.

YES, GOOD NEWS.

YES, GREAT NEWS.

HUH?

SHE'S LOVELY, ISN'T SHE?

SHE'S CERTAINLY...

SO TELL ME, WHAT'S SHE LIKE?

WHAT'S SHE LIKE?

UH...

YOU HAVEN'T HAD A THING WITH HER, HAVE YOU?

NO, NO, NO.

OK. OK.

LOOK, I GOTTA GO.

WELL, HAVE A GREAT STAG.

WHOO-HOO!

COME ON!

COME ON, OLLY! GET IN THE GAME!

[LAGER 'N' LIME PLAYING]

COME ON ALREADY, OLLY!

LET'S GET THESE SUCKERS MOVIN'!

[LAUGHTER]

James: COME ON, OLLY!

YOU'RE RIGHT!

WHOO! WHOO!

WHOO!

WHOO-HOO-HOO!

SO IT'S GREAT, EH?

YEAH, YEAH.

NOW, LOOK, STRICTLY SPEAKING,

THIS IS A NO-ALCOHOL VENUE,

BUT I'VE SNUCK IN...

A LITTLE SOMETHING.

WHOA! WHOA!

All: ♪ DADDY WON, DADDY WON, DADDY WON ♪

♪ DADDY WON, DADDY WON, DADDY WON ♪

♪ DADDY WON

♪ DADDY WON

HEY, HEY! WHOO!

OH!

OH.

YOU'VE BEEN DRINKING ALCOHOL IN AN UNLICENSED AREA.

WHO'S THE GROOM?

HE IS. HE IS.

I AM, YEAH.

I SUGGEST YOU COME QUIETLY, SIR.

[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]

[LAUGHTER, SHOUTING]

OLLY, COME ON!

YOU'RE MISSING THE BEST OF IT.

IT'S KIND OF TRAGIC,

BUT I'M JUST NOT REALLY INTO IT.

AH, I GET IT. PUBLICLY DISCIPLINED,

PRIVATELY, PRETTY SEXY, EH?

JAMES?

YOU HAVEN'T...

SLEPT WITH ANYONE

SINCE YOU'VE BEEN WITH SARAH, HAVE YOU?

SLEPT WITH?

NO.

[LAUGHING]

I SHAGGED FOR 24 HOURS

WHEN SARAH WENT TO HER SCREENING IN LIVERPOOL, THOUGH.

NO. YEAH.

YEAH.

SO WHAT IF I DID?

OLLY, YOU'RE A SWEET GUY,

BUT YOU'RE MISSING THE POINT.

THESE THINGS HAPPEN IN RELATIONSHIPS.

BUT THEY SHOULDN'T.

OH, COME ON.

SARAH WOULD BE THE FIRST TO ADMIT

THAT SHE CAN'T GIVE ME EVERYTHING I NEED.

SHE'S FROM GOOD STOCK, SHE'S INTELLIGENT,

SHE'S NOT BAD LOOKING,

BUT, COME ON, YOU KNOW ME.

YOU KNOW ME.

I'M NOT A ONE-WOMAN MAN.

SHE DESERVES BETTER.

SO, WHAT? YOU'RE GONNA TELL HER?

YOU'RE GONNA MAKE HER MISERABLE?

YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME BEG FOR FORGIVENESS?

COME ON, OLLY. HMM?

YOU'RE MY BEST MAN, THIS IS MY STAG NIGHT,

I'M GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW.

I MEAN, JUST RELAX, HAVE A GOOD TIME.

AND YOU CAN BE FIRST WITH THE STRIPPER AFTER ME.

YOU KNOW, THERE WAS A TIME WHEN I THOUGHT

THAT DOIN' NOTHIN' WAS THE RIGHT THING,

BUT NOT ANYMORE.

I HAVE TO GO.

OH, RIGHT, SO YOU WRITE A LETTER TO SARAH,

A PONCY LETTER,

AND SHE FALLS FOR IT.

BIG DEAL.

YOU'RE PATHETIC, OLLY, DO YOU KNOW THAT?

YOU TALK ABOUT LYING,

AND YOU'RE NOT EVEN A BLOODY WRITER,

WHICH IS THE ONE REASON WHY I HIRED YOU.

HIRED ME?

YEAH.

YEAH, WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

YEAH.

YEAH, I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN.

OLLY...

YOU WOULDN'T DARE.

OLLY!

[CHURCH BELLS CHIMING]

HEY, HEY.

HOO-HAH!

OLLY?

[EQUIPMENT HUMMING]

[MAINTENANCE MAN WHISTLING]

HEY!

HEY! H--

HELLO!

[WHISTLING]

HELLO!

OH, NO.

OH, NOT AGAIN!

NO, NO, PLEASE! PLEASE DON'T GO!

WHAT IS IT WITH YOU PERVERTS?

CITY FINANCE DOESN'T HAVE THE SAME THRILLS ANYMORE?

WHAT? LOOK, NO, NO, NO,

I'VE BEEN ASSAULTED AND PUT HERE.

YEAH. YEAH, THAT'S WHAT THEY ALL SAY,

DOWN TO THE RUBBER SUIT.

NO, I MEAN, UNDO ME, PLEASE.

THAT'S DISGUSTING.

NO, NO, NO, I MEAN MY HANDS.

I'M CUFFED.

MATE, WHAT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR?

THOSE ARE ONLY PRETEND CUFFS.

THEY ARE?

AH, THEY SHOULD PUT THE REAL ONES ON YOU, MATE.

HA HA!

HA HA HA!

YEAH.

[CHURCH BELLS CHIMING]

Can you smell alcohol?

Jesus!

MUZZ, IT'S ME.

OLLY, I'M SO GLAD YOU'VE CALLED ME.

WELL, YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT JAMES. I'M SORRY.

NO, YOU WERE RIGHT.

LOOK, I MADE UP ALL THE STUFF

ABOUT JAMES SHAGGING.

I'M THE ZEN MASTER OF GRUDGE-BEARING,

BUT JAMES IS NOT THE UTTER PRAT

THAT I THOUGHT HE WAS.

NO, HE IS. HE WAS SHAGGING.

NO, LOOK, I HAVE TO GROW UP.

LOOK, PLEASE, MURRAY...

SARAH CAN'T MARRY JAMES.

SHE CAN'T?

NO. YOU'RE RIGHT.

HE IS AN UTTER PRAT.

HE IS?

YES.

ARE YOU GOING TO RUIN JAMES' DAY?

YES.

I LOVE HER.

YOU'VE GOT TO HELP ME, MURRAY.

I'LL DO IT.

SAY, HOW LONG TO GET ME TO RICHMOND?

RICHMOND? ABOUT AN HOUR, IF YOU'RE LUCKY.

SHOOT, I'VE ONLY GOT HALF AN HOUR.

HALF-HOUR? IF I WAS YOU, MATE,

I WOULD SWIM.

HEY.

Minister: IF ANYONE KNOWS OF ANY REASON

WHY THESE TWO MAY NOT BE JOINED TOGETHER TODAY,

LET THEM SPEAK NOW

OR FOREVER HOLD THEIR PEACE.

WHAT WAS THAT?!

[GUESTS GASP]

SOMEONE SAID SOMETHING.

DID THEY?

YES.

IF YOU'VE GOT ANYTHING TO SAY,

PERHAPS YOU'D LIKE TO SHARE IT WITH US.

[MAN CLEARS THROAT]

I WAS TALKING TO MY WIFE.

EXCUSE ME.

YOU WERE TALKING TO YOUR WIFE?

WHAT WAS SO INTERESTING

THAT YOU THOUGHT IT WAS WORTH INTERRUPTING A WEDDING FOR?

I--

NO, STAND UP, PLEASE, SO WE CAN ALL HEAR.

I SAID, WOULDN'T IT BE FUNNY

IF SOMEONE DID ACTUALLY SAY SOMETHING?

I THINK WE CAN ALL SEE THE IRONY THERE.

CAN'T WE?

Stellastarr: ♪ I'LL RUN AWAY WITH YOU ♪

♪ WE CAN BUILD A GOLD MINE ♪

WELL, UH, CARRY ON, YOUR HONOR.

UM...

♪ I'LL BE THE TRUTH FOR YOU ♪

♪ HOME LIFE, NO LIFE...

Minister: WE'LL TRY AGAIN. SORRY.

IF ANYONE KNOWS OF ANY, UH...

UM, JUST TO DOUBLE-CHECK...

JAMES AND SARAH,

YOU'RE BOTH...

UH, HAPPY TO CARRY ON?

WE'RE FINE.

I'M FINE.

THANK YOU, MURRAY.

♪ WE CAN BUILD OUR OWN WORLD ♪

I, JAMES EDWARD COLYNS...

♪ WE CAN RUN AWAY FROM OURSELVES ♪

♪ IF WE KNEW WHO WE WERE ♪

NO!

JOHN?

WHO THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU?

SHIT. SORRY.

IT'S...WRONG CHURCH.

WHO'S JOHN?

♪ LIVIN' WITHOUT YOU

♪ BLUE EYES

♪ BLUE HAIR

♪ NOT GONNA LEAVE HERE WITHOUT YOU ♪

MUST BE.

I, SARAH MARIE BARKER...

AAH!

AAH!

AAH!

AAH! OH! OH!

OH! AH!

OH, DAMN.

OHH! OH!

OH, IT'S MY HEART!

[GASPING]

OHH! AAH! AAH!

OH! AAH! AAH!

AAH! AAH!

OH! OH! OHH!

OH! OH! OH!

UH!

Man: SOMEBODY SHOULD DO SOMETHING FOR HIM.

James: GET THAT CLOWN OUT OF HERE!

CAN WE GET ON WITH IT, PLEASE?

IF, UH, SOMEONE HAS...

YES, WE'VE DONE THIS BIT.

SORRY, SORRY.

WHAT'S HAPPENED TO YOU?

JOURNEY WAS A NIGHTMARE.

AM I TOO LATE?

NO, IT'S WORTH A SHOT.

IT'S A TOUGH CROWD IN THERE.

WISH ME LUCK.

GO, MAN, GO.

HAVE I MISSED THE PART WHERE YOU ASK

IF ANYONE'S GOT SOMETHING TO SAY?

YES, BUT WE CAN GO BACK IF YOU LIKE.

WE'RE GETTING GOOD AT IT.

OLLY?

I NEED TO SPEAK TO YOU IN PRIVATE.

OLLY, YOU ARE MAKING A HUGE TIT OF YOURSELF.

I LOVE YOU, SARAH.

I'VE BEEN IN LOVE WITH YOU--

WHY HAVEN'T YOU SAID THIS BEFORE?

I THOUGHT JAMES WAS IN LOVE WITH YOU.

I THOUGHT HE WAS THE BETTER MAN,

BUT HE'S NOT.

JAMES IS NOT RIGHT FOR YOU.

HOW DO YOU KNOW?

BECAUSE...

I KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO REALLY BE IN LOVE.

IT FEELS AS IF ALL THE CHAOS

AND STRANGENESS OF THE WORLD

MAKES COMPLETE AND UTTER SENSE...

FOR THE SIMPLE REASON THAT YOU'RE IN IT.

WH--

YOU WROTE THE LETTER?

WHY?

BECAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW HE'D BEEN CHEATING ON YOU.

[GUESTS GASP]

THAT'S RIDICULOUS.

WHO?

YOU?!

GOD, NO.

BUT I THINK IT MIGHT BE HER,

HIS SECRETARY.

BUT I DIDN'T TELL ANYONE.

SHUT UP. JUST SHUT UP.

SHE'S A TWISTED BITCH, AND SHE'S LYING.

WHAT ABOUT ME?

FUCK OFF.

JAMES, DON'T!

GET OFF ME!

OLLY, YOU...

OOH! OOH!

Minister: IF ANYONE KNOWS OF ANY LAWFUL IMPEDIMENT

WHY THESE TWO MAY NOT BE MARRIED,

LET THEM SPEAK NOW OR FOREVER HOLD THEIR PEACE.

THANK GOD FOR THAT.

WILT THOU HAVE THIS WOMAN FOR THY WEDDED WIFE?

SO LET'S RAISE OUR GLASSES

TO MURRAY AND BECKA.

Belle and Sebastian: ♪ IF YOU FIND YOURSELF

♪ CAUGHT IN LOVE

♪ SAY A PRAYER TO THE MAN ABOVE ♪

♪ THANK HIM FOR EVERYTHING YOU KNOW ♪

♪ YOU SHOULD THANK HIM

♪ FOR EVERY BREATH YOU BLOW ♪

♪ IF YOU FIND YOURSELF CAUGHT IN LOVE ♪

♪ SAY A PRAYER TO THE MAN ABOVE ♪

♪ THANK HIM FOR EVERY DAY YOU PASS ♪

♪ YOU SHOULD THANK HIM

♪ FOR SAVING YOUR SORRY ASS ♪

♪ IF YOU'RE SINGLE, BUT LOOKIN' OUT ♪

♪ YOU MUST RAISE YOUR PRAYER TO A SHOUT ♪

♪ ANOTHER PARTNER MUST BE FOUND ♪

♪ SOMEONE TO TAKE YOUR LIFE BEYOND ♪

♪ ANOTHER TV "I LOVE 1999" ♪

♪ JUST ONE MORE BOX OF CHEAPO WINE ♪

♪ IF YOU FIND YOURSELF CAUGHT IN LOVE ♪

♪ SAY A PRAYER TO THE MAN ABOVE ♪

♪ BUT IF YOU DON'T LISTEN TO THE VOICES ♪

♪ THEN, MY FRIEND, YOU'LL SOON RUN OUR OF CHOICES ♪

♪ WHAT A PITY IT WOULD BE ♪

♪ 'CAUSE YOU TALK OF FREEDOM, DON'T YOU SEE? ♪

♪ THE ONLY FREEDOM THAT YOU'LL EVER REALLY KNOW ♪

♪ IS WRITTEN IN BOOKS FROM LONG AGO ♪

♪ GIVE UP YOUR WILL TO HIM THAT LOVES YOU ♪

♪ THINGS WILL CHANGE

♪ I'M NOT SAYING OVERNIGHT

♪ YOU'VE GOTTA START SOMEWHERE ♪

[DOG BARKING]

STOP THE WEDDING!

GRETCHEN, YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME AND LITTLE DAVY THIS WAY.

HE NEEDS YOU.

INEED YOU.

YOU DO?

I LOVE YOU, GRETCHEN.

I LOVE YOU, TOO.

DAVY LOVES YOU, TOO

I LOVE YOU, TOO.

♪ ...SHED A TEAR FOR THE ONE YOU LOVE ♪

♪ TELL YOUR BOSS THAT YOU'VE GONE AWAY ♪

♪ AND DOWN YOUR TOOLS FOR A HOLIDAY ♪

♪ BUT IF YOU'RE GOIN' OFF TO WAR ♪

♪ THEN I WISH YOU WELL

♪ BUT DON'T BE SORE

♪ IF I CHEER THE OTHER TEAM

♪ 'CAUSE KILLING PEOPLE'S NOT MY SCENE ♪

♪ I PREFER TO GIVE THE INHABITANTS A SAY ♪

♪ BEFORE YOU BLOW THEIR TOWN AWAY ♪

♪ I LIKE TO WATCH THEM PLAY

♪ I LIKE TO MARVEL

♪ AT THE RANDOM BEAUTY OF A SIMPLE VILLAGE GIRL ♪

♪ WHY SHOULD SHE BE THE ONE WHO'S KILLED? ♪

♪ IF YOU FIND YOURSELF CAUGHT IN LOVE ♪

♪ IF YOU FIND YOURSELF CAUGHT IN LOVE ♪

♪ IF YOU FIND YOURSELF CAUGHT IN LOVE ♪

♪ IF YOU FIND YOURSELF CAUGHT IN LOVE ♪

♪ IF YOU FIND YOURSELF CAUGHT IN LOVE ♪

♪ IF YOU FIND YOURSELF CAUGHT IN LOVE ♪

♪ IF YOU FIND YOURSELF CAUGHT IN LOVE ♪

♪ IF YOU FIND YOURSELF CAUGHT IN LOVE ♪

♪ IF YOU FIND YOURSELF CAUGHT IN LOVE ♪

♪ IF YOU FIND YOURSELF CAUGHT IN LOVE ♪

♪ IF YOU FIND YOURSELF CAUGHT IN LOVE ♪

♪ IF YOU FIND YOURSELF CAUGHT IN LOVE ♪

♪ IF YOU FIND YOURSELF CAUGHT IN LOVE ♪

♪ IF YOU FIND YOURSELF CAUGHT IN LOVE ♪

♪ IF YOU FIND YOURSELF CAUGHT IN LOVE ♪

[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING]