All language subtitles for The.Ultimate.Christmas.Present.2000.1080p.BluRay.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

Deck the hall with boughs of holly

Fa, la, la, la, la la, la, la, la

'Tis the season to be jolly

Fa, la, la, la, la la, la, la, la

Don we now our gay apparel

Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

Troll the ancient yuletide carol

Fa, la, la, la la, la, la, la, la

Fa, la, la, la la, la, la, la, la

-SANTA: Ho! Ho! Ho!
-(CHILDREN SQUEAL)

Everybody say, yeah

See the blazing yule before us

Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

Strike the harp and join the chorus

Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

Follow me in merry measure

Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

Heedless of the wind and weather

Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

ANCHOR: And now with today's L.A. weather,
here's Edwin Hadley.

Good morning, Los Angeles.
(CLEARS THROAT)

There's only three more days
until Christmas,

so be sure to ask Santa...

for plenty of sunscreen
because we'll be having hot

and sunny weather...

for the next...

several days.

This is primarily due to a three percent
drop in the atmospheric pressure

from the jet stream winds
in the north western troposphere, combined

with a steady 24 and three quarter percent
precipitation factor, so...

(CLEARS THROAT)
if some of you young meteorologists

-have an isobar chart at home...
-Boring.

(TRUCK BEEPING)

Oh, no, if that's okay, we can change
the menu again,

-Mrs. Danbrowsky.
-MRS. DANBROWSKY: Fine, fine...

Mom, I can't find
my Smash Crash Float game.

I left it in the computer.

-Okay, honey, I am really busy.
-MRS. DANBROWSKY: I need to know if...

Yeah, the airport is gonna be a zoo,
so get there early.

-Hey! Which tie? Red or blue?
-(MODEM DIALING)

Uh, red, it's more Christmassy.

-No, no, I was talking to my wife.
-I was talking to my husband. Sorry.

-MRS. DANBROWSKY: I need that.
-Allie, get that.

-Get the phone, get the phone!
-(PHONE RINGING)

-Joey, eat. Enough with the syrup!
-Thompsons.

Sam! Get over here, right away.

-Walk.
-Walk.

Blake Lynch called me and we're invited
to his Christmas party.

SAMANTHA: I'll be right over.

-Okay, tell me everything.
-Okay, Blake's party is at four o'clock

on Christmas, and I told him we'd be there

a couple of hours early so we can help
decorate.

That way we can spend a couple of hours
with him before anyone else gets there.

-You're a genius.
-Thanks. I know.

Samantha, do you realize that we're about
to leave behind our lives

as geeky semi-outsiders,
and evolve into cool, popular insiders?

-At last.
-Samantha.

What do you think of when you hear
"bones for bowser dot com"?

-Um, a website that sells dog bones?
-Exactly.

See, I told you it was catchy.

Dad, do you really think people
wanna buy dog bones

-over the internet?
-Oh, they will

when they learn we have
over 100 varieties to choose from.

Our investors in San Francisco
will love it.

-How long are gonna be gone this time?
-Just a day.

-I'll be back tomorrow morning.
-So tomorrow night,

we should definitely get together
and discuss our schedules

for Christmas day. I was, uh...

I was thinking we'd open presents
from eight to ten and, uh...

church at eleven... and have lunch at...
oh...

at twelve thirty. What do you think
of that?

We'll be done by two, right?

We've got to be. That's when
my basketball tournament starts.

And Sam and I have a party.

Don't forget Uncle Don and Aunt Gwen
are coming around six

-with the grandparents.
-Okay, well, just bring your schedules,

-and I'll make a chart.
-(PHONE RINGING)

-Mom loves making charts.
-I heard that.

-(PHONE CONTINUES RINGING)
-Creative Catering.

-MR. FORTUNA: Hello this is Mr. Fortuna.
-Well, hello, Mr. Fortuna.

-MR. FORTUNA: Can I add four more guests?
-Sure, we can add four people, no problem.

-See ya, Mom.
-Bye, sweetie.

Um, you know, I was talking
to my daughter, sorry.

-Bye, Dad. Have a good flight.
-Muah!

And if you get some time
for Christmas shopping,

I really, really want
pro-line deluxe rollerblades.

Well, don't you already have
rollerblades?

They're so last year.

The new ones have carbon fiber tips

with wheels that are road tested
up to 80 miles per hour.

Oh, well that's reassuring.

And I got to get
the new Renegade Starship video game.

Don't forget.

Hey, aren't you kids
forgetting what Christmas is all about?

No, it's about presents.

Kidding. Bye!

-Walk!
-Walk!

(PHONE RINGING)

Remember that a paragraph concentrates
on one idea.

If you're moving on to another idea,

conclude the paragraph
and start a new one.

Allie. Allie!

Oh! Um, yes, Mrs. Lopez?

Allie, how is your creative writing
paper coming along?

-Which one?
-(CHILDREN LAUGH)

The one I assigned last week.

Five pages. Single spaced. Due tomorrow.

Oh, yeah, that one. It's, um, genius.

-Best thing I've ever written.
-Congratulations. What's it about?

Oh, um... it's about a...

It's about...
It's about William Shakespeare.

Who wakes up one morning,
and finds himself living here today!

But the problem is,
no one believes who he really is,

and he has to make money

so he gets a job flipping burgers
at a fast food place.

And during his breaks he writes plays.

And pretty soon he comes up with a new one
called "A Tale Of Two Pickles,"

-which is about...
-(SCHOOL BELL RINGS)

(CHILDREN LAUGH)

-You want me to finish?
-Let's keep it a surprise.

I look forward to reading it.

I have to admit.
That was a pretty good story.

For just making it up on the spot.

Yeah, but now I've got to write it,
and I forgot almost everything I said.

It's not fair.

Tomorrow is the very last day
before Christmas vacation.

I hate to bring this up,
but we did have a week to do it.

-That's not the point, Sam.
-Okay, so what is the point?

The point is, I have got
to come up with a plan.

Someway to get out of doing
this paper at all costs.

BLAKE: Hey, Allie, Sam.

-Hi, Blake.
-Hi, Blake.

Can you guys still come
to my Christmas party?

-Uh, yeah.
-Uh, yeah.

And, like I said, we'll come over early

-so we can help decorate.
-Cool. By the way, Allie,

your story in class was awesome.

-Oh, thanks.
-Well, bye.

ALLIE: Bye!

(GIRLS SQUEAL)

-Uh-oh. What time is it?
-Four.

(GRUNTS) We've got 72 hours
until Blake's party.

And we have to get to the library,

and we still haven't even got Joey
a Christmas present yet.

-Forget it, Al. We'll never make it.
-Sure, we will.

Joey and his friends take a shortcut
through the woods all the time.

-It'll be perfect.
-Allie, are you sure about this?

ALLIE: Positive.

We'll be home before you know it.

Didn't we pass that same field
like an hour ago?

We'll be there in five minutes.
Trust me.

Every time you say, "Trust me,"

I either end up in detention,
or on a missing person's list.

Oh!

Check it out.

-SAMANTHA: What?
-ALLIE: That!

SAMANTHA: What a weird little house.

I know.

-Have you ever seen it before?
-No.

But I've never been lost in these woods
before either.

-What are you doing?
-I'm gonna find out who lives there.

-Come on.
-Allie,

whoever it is, there's a reason
they built their house way out here.

Like, privacy? (SIGHS)

-(HAMMERING)
-(MAN MUTTERING)

ALLIE: There's some old guy inside.
He's building something.

-(THUD)
-That's nice, let's go.

What will you give me
if I ding-dong ditch?

-Nothing.
-Oh, come on.

If I ring the doorbell,
then you do my English paper.

But if I get scared and chicken out,
I do yours.

Mine's almost finished.
Besides, he could catch us.

No, he won't.
Anyway, we can outrun an old man.

-(HAMMERING CONTINUES)
-(MAN GRUNTS)

-MAN: Darn it all!
-(CRASH)

I am so out of here.

MAN: Cranberries. It's just a machine.

It's just wires and gears,
and it's not right.

Wait.

W... W... Wait!

-What do you think it is?
-I don't know, put it back.

-Why? He threw it out.
-But it's still not yours.

It's garbage anyways, come on.

Lousy contraption. It won't work right.

(GRUNTS) More trouble than it's worth.

-Oh, no!
-(PHONE RINGS)

-(PHONE BEEPS)
-Creative Catering, Ruben speaking.

Excuse me, did you just say Christmas Eve?

Okay, no offense, but you're crazy.

Christmas Eve has been booked solid
for like eight months now. Hello!

-Hello? He hung up on me.
-(PHONE BEEPS)

Well, that's because you insulted him.

I did not insult him, I told him
the truth.

-He's crazy!
-Mom...

Christmas Eve bookings. Plan ahead,
people.

When are we gonna get our Christmas tree?

We're gonna get the tree as soon
as Dad comes back from San Francisco.

But all the good ones
will be gone by then.

Well, then we're just gonna have
to stand Uncle Don and Aunt Gwen

up in a corner
and decorate them, I guess.

-Are they really coming?
-Joey...

But Uncle Don always smokes
those smelly cigars.

And Aunt Gwen never gets my name right.
She always calls me Josie.

That's the name of her own poodle.

-ALLIE: Hey, everybody.
-SAMANTHA: Sure smells good in here.

Yeah, we never get to eat the good stuff.
We get frozen dinners.

(GASPS) You do not!

You get take out. How was school?

Uh, fine. We're gonna go upstairs,
and do some homework.

Walk!

You know that TV show where people
take their junk to some expert,

and he tells them
it's worth a million dollars?

-Well, maybe this is worth something.
-Or maybe it's just junk.

It's too new to be junk.
It's kinda cool looking.

-Wonder what it does.
-(HIGH PITCHED WHINING)

-What did you do?
-I just touched that button.

Well, try another one.
Maybe it will turn it off.

-Wow!
-Awesome!

-(RAIN PATTERS)
-Oh, this is so cool.

Hey, I think you figured out how it works.

Yeah. Now help me stop it.

(ALLIE SCREAMS)

-You'll flood the place.
-I'm trying not to.

Let's try this.

That is so cool!

-Wow! Let me try.
-No, no, no!

-(THUNDER RUMBLES)
-This side.

-(GIRLS YELL)
-Oh!

Whoa! How fierce is that!

-What's fierce?
-Hey, Joey! Stay out!

-Why?
-'Cause I said so.

You're not the boss of me!

-Mom! Allie is bossing me!
-ALLIE: No, I'm not!

JOEY: Are you wrapping
my Christmas present?

What did you get me?
Wait. Don't tell me, let me guess.

You got me a football. No, no, no.

I know. You got me a poster
of the Laker girls.

Joey...

stay out, or I'm not getting you anything.

-I mean it.
-Better hide it good.

Or else I'll find it. I always do.

My turn.

(MACHINE WHIRRING)

Check out these symbols.

This must be some sort
of weather making machine.

I wonder what this swirly line means?

-(WIND HOWLS)
-Whoa!

Turn it, turn it, turn it!

Let's try this one.

-(EARTH RUMBLING)
-BOTH: Earthquake!

-MICHELLE: You feel that?
-Oh, don't panic.

Uh, get under the table,
or an open doorway.

Get a transistor radio,
get some bottled water,

get some canned goods.
Just try and stay calm, okay?

It's okay, it's okay, it's over.
It's just a truck passing by.

Yeah, right. That's what they said
just before the big one in '94, remember?

-Whoa! (LAUGHS)
-Sorry!

It's okay. At least we know
what that jiggly line means.

We'll just leave that one alone
from now on.

Let's try the snow one.

Wow!

Oh! This is so rad!
Why would that man throw it out?

-Maybe he didn't mean to throw it out.
-Yes, he did! We saw him.

Well, we should bring it back.

I mean, this thing could flood a city
or cause a blizzard or...

Do I even wanna know
what's going through your mind?

Sam... how would you like to start
Christmas vacation a day early?

-How?
-With a snow day.

-A what?
-A snow day.

You know, my cousin Stan lives in Boston,

and he said every once in a while,
they get so much snow,

they have to close down the schools 'cause
they can't clear the roads fast enough.

We can do it with this.
We just put it outside,

crank up the volume, and make it snow
real hard.

Are you nuts? Do you know how much trouble
we could get in?

Sam, how happy would everybody be

if we actually had a white Christmas
in L.A.? For like the first time ever.

We'd be doing this incredible service
for our community.

-Well...
-And guess what else?

If tomorrow's a snow day,

then we have two extra weeks to do
that dumb creative writing assignment.

And even more important,

we have whole extra day to plan
what we're gonna wear for Blake's party.

Am I brilliant or what?

In a mad scientist sort of way.

-MICHELLE: Allie!
-Oh, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry.

Hurry!

-I need your help, honey.
-Yeah, Mom?

What've you guys been doing in here?

-Um...
-The floor is soaked!

-Sorry, Mom. We'll clean it up.
-Allie, I have five parties in two days.

-I need some help.
-ALLIE: Okay.

-Now! Get some towels...
-ALLIE: Okay, okay, okay.

...mop up the water
so it doesn't ruin the floor.

(GRUNTS)

(GLASS CLINKS)

(DOOR CLOSES)

And how many times have I told you
to put your dirty clothes in the hamper?

I'll do it! Mom, don't, don't.
I've got it.

-(ALLIE GRUNTS)
-(DOOR SLAMS SHUT)

What are you doing?

Ssh!

(DEVICE WHIRRING)

It isn't working.

Mm, maybe it just takes some time.

Well, it was a great idea, anyway.
Better get started on that paper.

WOMAN: All dollies to loading dock B.
All dollies to loading dock B, please.

Shirley, has Santa called in
from the summer cabin yet?

SHIRLEY: No, Mrs. Claus.

-All right. Well, then, send in the elves.
-SHIRLEY: Right away.

Hey, Mrs. Claus. Get ready
to be impressed.

Say goodbye to the old North Pole,
and hello to the new.

Santa's 21st century toy factory
and warehouse!

Every square inch of the ten-mile radius,
completely automated.

Absolutely nothing is touched
by elfin hands.

And since elves are gonna be obsolete,
we're gonna re-train to be...

telemarketers. Taking phone, catalog
and internet orders,

twenty-four hours a day, 365 days a year.

I know what you're thinking, Mrs. C.
"Crumpet, what about tradition?

"Won't the public be disappointed
with the fact

"that Santa has entered the digital age?"
You know what we say?

-Fooey!
-CRUMPET: Because,

half the stuff they print about us
anyway is totally wrong.

Heck, people still think
we're three feet tall

and have squeaky little voices.

-CRUMPET: So, what do you think, Mrs. C?
-Hey, don't beat around the bush, Mrs. C.

All right.

I think it's the worst idea
I've ever heard.

-Oh...
-Oh.

Well, is that a no or a maybe?

-(PHONE RINGING)
-Excuse me.

-Hello? Hello?
-(PHONE CONTINUES RINGING)

-Hello?
-Mama, the weather machine is missing.

(GASPS) The weather machine is missing?

SANTA: It's gone, it's vanished,
it's disappeared.

-Oh, I never should have tossed it out.
-MRS. CLAUS: You tossed it out?

It wasn't working properly,
and so I was frustrated

and I... I threw it in the trash.

And when I went to get it back,
it wasn't there anymore.

All right, darling, it must have been
just misplaced. Did you search the cabin?

-Yes.
-MRS. CLAUS: Retrace your steps?

-Yes!
-Tell him to check his pockets.

Did you check your pockets, dear?

It can't fit in my pockets.

What if it gets into the wrong hands?
There's no telling what could happen.

The consequences could be disastrous.

MRS. CLAUS: All right, darling. Calm down.

There is no time to calm down.
I have to find that machine.

You will. I'll send help.

Fiona and Twinkle will be there
before you can name the reindeer.

SANTA: Christmas is three days away.

-You can't spare my best elves now.
-MRS. CLAUS: Don't worry, we'll manage.

Give me a kiss.

-Mama.
-Papa.

-Bye, dear.
-SANTA: Bye.

-Uh, we'll go.
-Yeah, we'll go.

We can help Santa better than anyone.

Yeah, 'cause, uh, when you need
to find a lost weather machine,

we're the only elves for the job.

-Please.
-CRUMPET: Please, Mrs. C.

-All right, then, come on.
-(SPARKY SQUEALS)

It's a light load so you shouldn't need
more than two reindeer.

Let me see, why don't you take
Prancer and Vixen?

-They don't get out much.
-Okay.

Except... Except...
Except there's one small problem.

-What?
-Tell her.

Well, see, I'm kind of afraid of reindeer.
I got bit once by Dasher.

CRUMPET: Well,
you shouldn't have poked him.

-I didn't poke him, I petted him.
-No, you poked him like this.

-Hey!
-Hey, back...

-You always...
-Hey, get off...

-Boys!
-I'll bite you, I'll bite you.

Boys!

I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to send
for Fiona and Twinkle.

-No!
-No!

This is the perfect opportunity
to show off our newest...

-Yeah, let's show her. Let's show her!
-...invention.

Okay, Mrs. C, you're about to witness
the greatest invention in history.

Introducing North Pole SUV.

SUV?

-Santa Utility Vehicle.
-Santa Utility Vehicle.

SPARKY: The world's very first
rocket-powered toy delivery system.

-Hey, Joey.
-(PHONE RINGING)

-Have you studied much Shakespeare?
-(COMPUTER BEEPS)

What's Shakespeare?

Forget it.

-MICHELLE: Allie.
-What?

-Your father would like to talk to you.
-You're gonna get it.

-STEVE: Hello.
-Hi, Dad.

What is this I hear about you and Samantha
practically destroying your room?

Um, well...

things kinda got a little out of hand.
It's...

kind of a long story, but we cleaned
everything up.

Allie, you're 13 years old.
That's too old to be acting up like that.

Yeah... I know. Sorry, Dad.

And don't forget what time of year it is.
Santa might find out and, uh...

-we don't want that to happen, do we?
-No.

What? Oh my gosh, kids!
It's snowing!

-Mom says it's...
-JOEY: No way!

-What?
-Oh my gosh! Come here!

Look at that!

No way!

-Awesome!
-MICHELLE: Look at that!

-Yes!
-Hello?

Give me the phone! Steve!

You are not gonna believe this.
It is snowing here.

-It's what?
-(CHILDREN SCREAMING)

Try and catch one with your tongue.

-ALLIE: So cool!
-This is so great!

Hey, did you ever think
you'd see a white Christmas in L.A.?

No! Maybe a brown one, due to a mud slide,
but definitely not this!

-Hang on, I'm getting my camera.
-Okay.

-Pretty wild, huh?
-Yeah, who would have thought?

Deck the halls with boughs of holly

-Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
-Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

-Tis the season to be jolly
-Tis the season to be jolly

-Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
-Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

Don we now our gay apparel

Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
(LAUGHS)

Crump, are we almost there?

Yeah, in about three hours.

-Can we make a pit stop?
-Why?

You know why.

Didn't I tell you to go to bathroom
before we left?

Well, I did. But I got to go again!

Well, we're not stopping.
Cross your legs or something.

(SPARKY GRUNTS)

Are we supposed to be heading East?

-What?
-The compass, it's pointing East.

You nitwit. That's not a compass,
that's a fuel gauge.

-Oh!
-(CAR SPUTTERS)

Sparky, didn't I tell you to put gas
in the gas tank?

-Yeah.
-Did you?

Oh...

I think I forgot.

Well, we're taking a pit stop now.

Everybody, here we go
in five, four, three, two...

You're on.

Good evening. This... is Edwin Hadley,

here with your Channel Three
Evening Action Weather.

The weather continues as predicted.
Sunny days... continuing...

into only slightly cooler evenings.

We interrupt this program
for a special weather bulletin. Uh...

Oh...

I'm... I'm sorry. There seems to be
some kind of mistake.

You see, I've just been handed a report
that says there's...

Well, there's snow outside.

As we all know, that's impossible.
So I'll simply disregard this.

-And now, back to our real report...
-Get that!

As I said, sunny days ahead
for the next five days...

We ca... What is it now?
I told you that this is impossible.

-Can you not see that I'm on the air?
-(PAPER CRUMPLES)

Ladies and gentlemen.

I can assure you, that there is not now,

nor has there ever been,
at this elevation and temperature,

even the most remote possibility of...

(NEWS THEME PLAYS)

...snow. (CLEARS THROAT)

It does seem that the Los Angeles area
is experiencing

an unexpected cold front...

combined with increased levels
of precipitation,

which in turn... has resulted...

in snow.

Oh, my.

(WHIRRING)

Come on.

Come on, keep going,
keep going.

Snow indeed.

Storm started somewhere.

-(COMPUTER BEEPING)
-(KEYBOARD CLACKING)

Before this night is through...

I'm gonna figure out where.

-Edwin.
-Don't bother me now.

I am in the middle of an important,
ground-breaking research project.

Okay, sure. No problem.

But Mr. Martino wants to see you
right away.

Although, I suppose it's never too late
to take a break.

(KEYBOARD CLACKING)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

What do you want for Christmas, Edwin?

Well, sir, I hadn't really given it
much thought,

but as long as you brought it up,

I was hoping to be able to talk to you

about the possibility of a pay raise.
A small one, of course.

You know what I want? I want
to wake up one morning, turn on the TV,

and see you with a nice,
bright smile on your face.

Instead of that lemon sucking grin
you got on right now.

-Uh, sir, I wasn't aware...
-I wanna see you wearing something else

instead of that idiotic scrap of cloth
you call a bow tie.

-This is from the signature collection.
-And you know what I want most of all?

I want you to once, just once
in my lifetime,

to keep me awake when I watch you.

What are you insinuating?

Oh. Do I have to spell it out for you?
Okay. You are dull.

Boring, tedious, tiresome, a yawn fest,
a snooze-a-thon.

I'd rather watch paint dry
than to watch you.

And then to top it all off... Hello!

There is a snow storm outside,
in Los Angeles,

-and you didn't even see it coming.
-Well, no one did, sir.

-It was quite unexpected.
-Oh,

did the weather fairy
just wave her magic wand,

-and poof, it snowed?
-Yes, sir.

Well...

I mean... I mean, no, sir,

but the pattern of this storm
is unlike any other in history.

Instead of moving across its target,

it seems to have just appeared
and spread out in all directions.

So, in measuring the amount of snowfall,

I am going to be able to determine
from where it's been the longest,

-thus where it began.
-Okay. Imagine I'm the audience.

And hey, guess what? I'm asleep!

-Mr. Martino, as to...
-Oh, come on, Hadley.

Let's face it, you are a joke!

An embarrassment.
The worst weatherman in the world.

You know, the only reason I kept you
around this long is because...

I'm married to your sister.
But even she says I should let you go.

-Belinda said that?
-Mm-hmm.

But, since it's the holidays,
and I'm feeling very charitable,

I'm gonna give you one more chance.

Now, you are gonna go out there,

and dig up some real news
about this storm.

Like, are the Backstreet Boys gonna
cancel their concert in the park?

Or how's Brad Pitt getting to the set
of his new movie?

-That's what I want to know.
-Yes, sir.

Good. Oh, oh, oh..
and be sure to get a lot

of hard luck stories about cars
not starting,

and people slipping on ice. You know,

Christmas being ruined.
It'll help boost the ratings.

-Yes, sir.
-Good. Oh, and Hadley...

-about that pay raise.
-Yes, sir.

-Forget it!
-Yes, sir.

Please understand that this snowfall

was completely unexpected,
a meteorological fluke,

if you will. It did not show up on...
on our radars.

-Okay, okay. What about the schools?
-EDWIN: However, rest assured

that as of this moment I'm doing
everything in my power

to trace its origin.

Now, if I were to hasten
a hypothetical guess,

I would be looking for a mass of polar air
from the north.

-Quite possibly... Alaska.
-(SIGHS)

EDWIN: Now, imagine, as the air wends
its way down from Alaska

and through Canada,

the smell of sockeye salmon
wending though Bakersfield,

and coming down through Arizona
into the San Fernando Valley

where it would meet up
with a subtropical air front,

carrying with it the smells of Mexico,
and the sounds of a Mariachi band.

We would get a sort of mixture,

and an interplay between these two,
different isobar, isothermic fronts,

creating a sort
of meteorological lambada, if you will.

-Okay.
-That's right, folks.

All this glorious snow
isn't a special effect

dreamed up by tinsel town,
but the real thing.

And good news for all you kids,

put down your books
and grab your snowboards

because the following schools are closed.

Adam's High School,

-Cutler Elementary...
-Yeah!

...Evergreen High School,
Fairfax Elementary,

...Fairview Junior High,
Gentry Middle school...

Grant Junior High.
Grant Junior High, come on.

...Green Elementary,
Harrison Elementary...

What about Grant? Did she say Grant?

-No.
-...Adam's Elementary,

Jackson Elementary, Jackson High School,
Harrisburg High School,

Inglewood Middle School...

I'm sorry I skipped one.
Grant Junior High...

-Yeah!
-Yeah!

-Awesome!
-Finally!

(MECHANICAL WHIRRING)

Yay!

-(GIRLS EXCLAIM)
-It's snowing!

-Yes! Snow!
-Yes!

I'll be right back.

(CHILDREN EXCLAIM)

(CHILDREN LAUGHING)

(GIRLS SCREAMING)

(HEDGE TRIMMER WHIRRING)

(CHILDREN SQUEALING)

You're so mean.

(SAMANTHA YELLS)

-Wow!
-(GIRLS LAUGHING)

Yay!

-Jingle...
-Bell

-Jingle...
-Bell

-Jingle all...
-The way

CRUMPET: Hey, Mr. C.
Sorry we're late.

I bet you're glad to see us.

Where's Twinkle and Fiona?

Oh, they were gonna come,
but a crisis like this required the best.

So, we volunteered.

-Lucky me. What in the world is that?
-Oh, this old thing?

Nothing but the greatest revolution
in the Christmas industry,

that is, since your patented
chimney expander.

Christmas is not an industry, Crumpet,
it's a holiday.

We've been meaning to talk to you
about that.

Okay, Mr. C., connect with me, okay?
Stay right there.

Think about this. Four wheel drive
all the time, on the fly,

and unlimited cargo space.

Hey, wait. You ready for this?
This is the kicker.

-No more nasty reindeer to contend with.
-I can't think about this right now.

We've got to find that machine
before this snow gets any worse.

You got it, chief.

Although, uh, you know, Sparky and I have
a few new gift ideas

-we wanna run by, you. Like, we got...
-Drop it!

Okay, okay, okay. Uh, where would I be
if I was a weather machine?

-Did you check the cabin?
-Yes.

-Did you retrace your steps?
-Yes!

Did you check your pockets?

I've been through this before.
I've checked every square inch of...

-What's this?
-I know this one.

Uh, it's a trash can lid.

Underneath.

BOTH: A shoe print.

SANTA: This is terrible.
It's my worst fear come true.

The weather machine has been stolen.

EDWIN: The 14 inches...

of snow...

that has fallen since last night
easily eclipses the previous record

for a Los Angeles County of 0.3 inches...

on January 19, 1949.

Nothing suspicious
about that snowfall on...

Yes. Yes, Mrs. Danbrowsky,

I promise, even with the snow,
we will have everything for your party.

-In fact, it's almost ready as we speak.
-MRS. DANBROWSKY: Fab!

-All right, well don't forget...
-Yes. Okay, you know what?

I have to go, though, my other line
is ringing.

-All right. I'm counting on you.
-Okay, I'll see you soon.

-Bye, bye.
-Thank you.

-Creative Catering.
-STEVE: Hello, darling.

-How's it going?
-Oh. Hi, honey.

I am so crazed.

-Are you on your way home?
-STEVE: Not quite.

You know that snow storm of yours?

Well, it started here about an hour ago.
That's why I called.

-My flight's delayed.
-MICHELLE: How long?

They don't know yet.
But at least a couple of hours.

-Oh, honey, I'm so sorry.
-STEVE: Yeah, me, too.

Oh, well. Gives me a chance to eat
some delicious airport food.

How are the kids?

Oh, they're great 'cause the schools
are closed.

Oh. Lucky them.

Lucky you.

MICHELLE: Well, you know what?
Actually, it's been fun.

I mean, you should see Allie.

-(TIMER RINGING)
-She is out of her mind.

It's almost like
she personally ordered up this

from the weather service herself.

-STEVE: I won't be surprised.
-Well, what do you think?

(IMITATES TURKEY) It definitely need
more sugar.

-EDWIN: ...winter wonderland...
-You're right.

(IMITATES TURKEY) Too much.
Ssh! Quiet, she's on the phone.

(IN TURKEY VOICE) Don't forget
to tell Steve about the rollerblades.

Oh, honey, before I forget.
I'm having the hardest time

finding those rollerblades for Allie.
Nobody has her size.

Well, what size is she?

-CRUMPET: Length, seven inches.
-SPARKY: Check.

-CRUMPET: Width, 3.5 inches.
-SPARKY: Check.

-Elliptical shoe tread.
-Check.

You know, this program we put together,

for lack of a better word, Santa,
fantastic.

In just a couple of seconds,
it's gonna tell us we're looking for...

Adidas flight running shoe, size seven.

(COMPUTER BEEPS)

-Okay.
-How did you know that?

I delivered 40,000 of them last year.

Now, there are 1,937 girls
in Los Angeles

-with size seven feet.
-Mm.

-That's a lot.
-Yeah.

-It's a lot.
-Yeah.

I suggest we dispense with the nice girls.

We'll take the naughty girl list,
and we'll work our way through them.

See? That's why we're connected, Santa,
because Sparky and I put together

this awesome naughty and nice
software program...

-There, give it to him.
-Thank you.

-Uh, it's okay. It's okay. Ssh! it's okay.
-What?

-Was this in your candy pocket?
-Well, it's okay.

-You know that's nasty, that's not good.
-Boys!

I've got the list. Let's go.
There's no time to lose.

Come on, man.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

There's a man who leads a life of danger

To everyone he meets he stays a stranger

With every move he makes

Another chance he takes

Odds are he won't live to see tomorrow

Secret agent man

Secret agent man

They've given you a number

And taking away your name

Hey, Tina.

Got a minute?

Beware of pretty faces that you find

A pretty face can hide an evil mind

Careful.

Oh, be careful what you say

Or you'll give yourself away

-(JENNIFER LAUGHING)
-Yo, Jennifer. What's up?

Odds are you won't live
To see tomorrow

Secret agent man
Secret

-SANTA: Hello, Mary Jo.
-(MARY JO GASPS)

-I didn't take it.
-It wasn't me.

I was at gymnastics.
You can even ask my mother.

And I thought elves were supposed
to be tiny and little.

With high squeaky voices.

Don't believe everything you hear, okay?

I believe you. Have a merry Christmas.

And remember...

be good.

WOMAN: Mary Jo.

-Who are you taking to?
-Santa... Santa Claus.

What did I tell you about fibbing?

-But Mom, he was just here.
-Go to your room.

-Mom!
-Now.

Secret agent man

Check it out. I've got the perfect outfit
for Blake's party.

My new black skirt,
and my new red blouse.

-How do you like them?
-Great.

Especially since I loaned them
to you last week.

Oh, yeah. Well, maybe you can
give them to me

-as an early Christmas present.
-I might as well.

Every time I give you something,
I never get it back, anyway.

Hey, I gave you back your Lion King video.

Yeah. And you borrowed it
when I was six years old.

-Oh, yeah.
-(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

-Samantha, your mom's here.
-Thanks, Mrs. Thompson.

-MICHELLE: Here they are.
-Oh, great.

-SAMANTHA: Hi, Mom.
-Hi, sweetie.

Hold on a second.

(PHONE RINGS)

-Tell your mom thanks for looking after...
-Hello?

Hey, honey. I, uh... I got some bad news.

The roads are a mess,

and here's the one day I can finally
use my four wheel drive,

-and I don't know how it works.
-MICHELLE: Okay, bye-bye.

(PHONE BEEPS)

Uh, Allie, honey, Joey.

That was your dad,
and he is stuck in San Francisco.

-What?
-All the flights are canceled.

Tomorrow's Christmas Eve.
What if he can't get out?

-He won't be here for Christmas.
-He will. Trust me.

-How do you know?
-I just know.

I, um, think I left my hat
up in your room.

Oh, yeah. We'll be right back.

-It's off.
-Then why is it still snowing?

Because it takes a while, remember?

-That machine's powerful.
-You think?

Hey, I didn't know the signal would reach
all the way to San Francisco.

-Well, guess what? It does!
-And that's why I turned it off, okay?

You think I don't want my father
home for Christmas?

I mean, how awful would that be?

Can you imagine how much
we'd all miss him?

Yeah, I think I can.

-Oh. Sam, I'm sorry.
-It's okay.

Do you want to talk about it?
It's okay if you don't. But...

Look. My dad died when I was only three,
and I barely remember him.

So how can you miss someone
you don't even remember? Right?

-But still, I shouldn't...
-It's just weird around Christmas.

Mom says this was his favorite time
of the year.

He'd start playing Christmas music
the day after Thanksgiving.

She says he would've kept
our Christmas decorations up all year

if she would have let him.

Parents are so corny.

My mom has this charm bracelet
that my dad gave her

their very first Christmas together.

And every year he gives her
a new charm for it.

And she always knows she's gonna get it,
but she still acts all surprised,

and gets weepy and emotional.

I have got to fix this, Sam.
I have to do something.

If my family misses Christmas
because of me...

-LINDA: Samantha, have you found your hat?
-Yeah, Mom. Coming.

Look, it stopped.

Thank goodness.

EDWIN: Here in the Los Angeles area,
the mysterious snow storm

finally stopped at approximately 6:00 p.m.
this evening.

But that's small consolation...

to Jennifer Love Hewitt,

who slipped on a patch of ice...
in Burbank.

Oh...

oh, too bad.

(CLEARS THROAT) Well...

you ever slip on a patch of ice?

Okay, that's everybody's schedule
for Christmas Eve.

Now, if I can just shuffle them around

a little bit, and we can spend
a few more hours together...

JOEY: Mom, can you come here?

-(KEYBOARD CLACKING)
-(INDISTINCT TV CHATTER)

(MICHELLE SIGHS)

JOEY: Ta-da!

It's our substitute Christmas tree.

Just in case Dad gets home late
tomorrow night,

and we don't have time to get a real one.

-Do you like it?
-I love it.

You guys.

Oh, and I've got something that's going
to make it even better.

So that's what this thing's for.

That's why they call it a fireplace, Joey.

-We should do this more often.
-Are you sure you've got time for this?

Oh, you make it sound
like I'm always working.

-You are.
-You are.

Especially this time of the year.

Well, it's my busy season. You know that.

But it'll quiet down after New Year's.

JOEY: Mom... I miss Dad.

Oh, I do, too. But you know what?
He's gonna be home really soon.

Ooh! (GIGGLES)

'Cause the storm's over. It's over.

(MECHANICAL WHIRRING)

(YAWNS)

(WIND HOWLING)

Okay. Bye.

Samantha, be good today.
And be sure to help out Mrs. Thompson.

-I will.
-Okay.

-What's going on?
-I don't know. It turned itself back on!

-So, turn it off.
-I tried. It won't do it.

-Why wouldn't it?
-I don't know.

None of the buttons work anymore.

But Linda, listen. Is there any way
you can stay home today?

No, we're already understaffed,
and with the storm,

the whole hospital's on emergency alert.

-The roads are just gonna be awful.
-LINDA: I know, I'll be okay.

Thanks a lot, Michelle.

-You be careful. Okay.
-Okay, bye.

Bye.

(CAR DOOR CLOSES)

REPORTER: The surprise blizzard continues
to wreak havoc throughout the West Coast.

The National Guard has been called out

to ensure that no motorists
attempt to use the closed freeways.

A record number of airports,
bus lines and railway services...

-MR. MARTINO: Hadley. Hadley!
-...have completely...

This story just came in.

The cast of Friends are trapped
inside their studio.

-I want you on it right away.
-Yes, sir.

I'll get right on that riveting bit
of news.

You better. Or you'll get right
on the unemployment line.

(COMPUTER BUZZING)

Here it comes.

(COMPUTER BEEPING)

The storm originated at...

three-eighteen Central Avenue. Yes.

-(WIND HOWLING)
-(CHILDREN PANT)

ALLIE: Hey, Mom. We shoveled the driveway.

It just keeps coming down.

-What's wrong?
-Well, I've had a lot of calls.

And... your Uncle Don and Aunt Gwen

are snowed in, and won't be here tomorrow.

And neither will your grandparents.

What about Dad? Have you heard from him?

Dad is stuck in San Francisco,
and everything is shut down.

-Well, can he rent a car?
-Oh, sweetie, the roads are closed.

So he won't be coming home
for Christmas, will he?

No, honey.

No fair! I hate the snow!
I wish it never happened!

I know. Me, too.

MAN: If you can't move it,
push it off to the side.

WOMAN: I'm doing the best I can here.

MAN 1: Reverse.
MAN 2: Head forward.

Oh, for the love of... Hasn't anyone
in this town ever seen a blizzard before?

(CARS HONKING)

What is the matter with you people?

-DRIVER: Come on, get back in your car.
-Stop! Stop. Stop!

-Whoa! Something wrong?
-I'm Edwin Hadley.

-Who?
-I'm Edwin Hadley!

Channel Three, Action Now News.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're that real boring news guy.

Yes, exactly. I need to commandeer
your vehicle. It's for official media...

-See, this...
-Go on, now. Give me the helmet.

I'll be sure to mention you
in my Emmy speech.

(ENGINE REVS)

Hey! Hey!

Man.

You are done like dinner, literally.

No. No, Mrs. Danbrowsky,
don't cancel.

No, you know what? Your party
is gonna go off without a hitch,

despite the storm. I give you my word
as a caterer,

I give you my word as a mother.

-Absolutely.
-ALLIE: Uh-huh.

-MICHELLE: No problem.
-Yeah.

I understand.

Mm-hmm. Okay.

Thanks. Bye.

-MICHELLE: Absolutely.
-That was Blake.

He canceled the party
because of the storm.

And this is so out of control, Allie.

This thing is single handedly
destroying our lives.

Thanks. 'Cause I didn't feel
bad enough already.

Sam, where are you going?

Sam.

-Sam, I tried everything.
-We'll just have to try again.

I'm telling you it won't work.

(BOTH GASP)

Hey, Joey. What are you doing?

-JOEY: I saw it.
-Saw what?

My present? Don't pretend
it's not out there.

-Joey, that's not your present.
-Yeah, it is.

I told you, I'd find it.

I can't believe you hid it
in the flower box again.

Uh, duh. That's where you hid
my birthday present.

Joey, I'm telling you
that's not your present.

-Then what is it?
-None of your business.

-I saw an antenna. Is it a boom box?
-No, Joey, look.

It may be yours, or may not be,
but you've got to leave it alone.

I don't want you near that window again,
do you hear me?

Mom!

-Mrs. Danbrowsky.
-ALLIE: Mom!

-Could you hold on just a second?
-ALLIE: Mom!

-Thank you. What?
-ALLIE: Joey's bothering us.

No, I'm not!

MICHELLE: Joey, come down here,
right this instant.

-But, Mom!
-I said come here!

(INDISTINCT PHONE CHATTER)

No, not you. Mrs. Danbrowsky, I'm...
You... you can stay where you are.

I knew I'd find it.

Look! Why don't we just go
and give that man back his machine.

-No.
-Why not?

Because Mom doesn't want us
going outside.

Besides, I'm kinda scared
to go back there.

Not that we did anything wrong
or anything.

You mean besides burying the city
of Los Angeles

-under ten feet of snow.
-Anyways,

I don't think we can find that place
again even if we tried.

Well, we've got to do something.

-Let's smash it with a hammer.
-No way. That could make things worse.

-How do you know?
-I don't. But what if it does?

Okay. Then what do we do?

-'Cause we can't just sit here and...
-I've got an idea.

The machine's antennas are pretty small,

and they're sending snow
to San Francisco, right?

-Yeah.
-Well...

we make the antennas longer
with coat hangers or something,

then we can send the signal
all the way to outer space.

And cause a blizzard all over the world.
Great idea.

We'll be responsible for the next ice age.

-You're being such a pessimist.
-I'm not. I'm being realistic.

If you hadn't stolen the machine,
none of this would have happened.

I didn't steal it.
I took it out of the garbage.

If you were so worried about it,
then why didn't you stop me?

-I tried to.
-No, you didn't.

-You're too chicken, like always.
-Chicken?

Yeah, chicken.

Great! The electricity.

What are you going to do now, Einstein?
I'd help you out. But I'm too chicken.

Uh, yeah. That was the electricity.

MRS. DANBROWSKY: Oh, No! This is just all
too much for me.

Are you...

Mrs. Danbrowsky. Are you crying?

Look. I'm really sorry, okay?
I didn't mean it. It's just...

I'm getting really scared right now,
and I don't know what to do anymore.

Do... do you have a lead box?

What?

I don't know. It worked for Superman.

If we put that thing in a lead box,

maybe it'll stop the rays
from getting out.

Well, my dad's got a big tool box
in the garage.

We can put the machine in it,
and then bury it in the backyard.

-Well, let's go get it.
-Okay.

But we've got to be quiet.
Mom doesn't want us going outside.

-Yeah. No. I understand, Mrs. Danbrowsky.
-(INDISTINCT PHONE CHATTER)

No. Yeah. Okay. Bye-bye.

-(PHONE BEEPS)
-(MICHELLE GRUNTS)

-Let me guess. She canceled.
-Yeah.

Good. I'm glad.

They don't call her "cheap-o" Danbrowsky
for nothing, you know.

We would've been there
till three in the morning

and not even have gotten a tip.

Well, I better get home.

I don't want to miss the excitement
when the pipes burst.

Ruben, you really ought to think
about staying around

till at least the storm calms down.

What? At this rate, that could be, like,

-the Fourth of July.
-MICHELLE: Well...

Ssh!

Mom! The girls are sneaking out.

-What are you doing?
-We're just going outside.

No! I told you to stay inside,
and I meant it.

Um, but we're just going to the garage.

It's gonna get dark soon,
and Dad's got a big flashlight out there.

-The one for emergencies.
-Okay, go.

-Can I go outside, too?
-No.

-Why not?
-Joey, please.

(PHONE BEEPS)

Come on.

(WIND HOWLS)

ALLIE: There's some boxes over there,

and I think there's some shovels
on the work bench.

-Uh, Samantha, can you open that?
-SAMANTHA: Open it? I can't even see.

-(CRASH)
-(PEOPLE MOAN)

-ALLIE: Samantha? Is that you?
-SAMANTHA: Just the first one.

-(ALLIE GASPS)
-(ALLIE SCREAMS)

(EVERYONE SCREAMS)

Not so fast. You've got some explaining
to do, Allie.

You too, Samantha.

-Who...
-SANTA: Allie!

You are number 263
on my Los Angeles naughty girl list.

-Um...
-You mean you're...

-You're...
-But you couldn't be.

No, no, no. Of course not.
It's utterly impossible, isn't it, Allie?

-(CRUMPET GROANS)
-Or shall I use your full name?

Allison Rachel Thompson.

You favorite food is thick crust pizza,
with sausage and extra cheese.

You have a big crush on Blake Lynch,
who sits near you in English class.

And your best friend
is Samantha Elizabeth Kwan.

-I love it when he does this.
-Yeah, he's good.

You are president of Grant Junior High's
Spanish club.

You brush your teeth three times a day,
which is very good, but you seldom floss.

Now do you believe I'm Santa?

No. Anyone could have figured that out.

If you're really him,
tell me what I'm thinking right now.

He's Santa, kid.
Not the Amazing Kreskin.

You want something a little more personal.
Is that it? All right.

Samantha, when you're alone,

you like to dance to Ricky Martin music,
and pretend you're married to him.

-You do?
-No!

-(LAUGHS) Should I go on?
-No.

Allie...

even though... your friends may think
you have the perfect family,

we both know that things aren't always
the way you'd like them to be.

The fact is that you, your mother
and father, and even little Joey,

are so busy going in a million
different directions

that no one ever has time for one another.

And even though you put on a brave face
and act like it doesn't bother you,

it does.

Sometimes it makes you very, very sad.

Allie, you never told me that.

Okay. So, if you're Santa,

then who are they?

SANTA: Uh... Pardon me. This is Crumpet
and Sparky, two of my elves.

-Elves?
-SANTA: Yes.

(SCOFFS) But they're so...

-Don't say it.
-ALLIE: ...tall.

She said it.

Do you have a problem with that?

-Good afternoon.
-Hi!

I'm Edwin Hadley.

-Channel Three. Action Now News.
-Oh, hello. I didn't recognize you.

May I come in?

Yeah, um, excuse me, I'm so sorry.

Is there something I can help you with?

Congratulations. You've...
won our special contest.

An afternoon with Edwin.

Really? Well.

Well, that's great. I... I don't remember
entering any contest.

What a lovely place.

So bright.

So festive.

So...

What's that?

The kids did that.
It's our substitute Christmas tree.

We couldn't get a real one
because of the storm.

Yes. The storm.

What do you make of our little storm?

Um... it's a bad storm.

-When do you think it's gonna end?
-I was hoping you... could tell me that.

Me? Excuse me?

Who's this?

That's my husband.

Is he in some kind of government work?

Some sort of "Can't tell you.
Got to kill you" operation?

No, he's in software.

Uh, would you like some coffee?

-Everything all right?
-Yes, fine.

Just admiring your handy work.
What did you say?

I asked you if you would like some coffee.

No, never touched this stuff. Wait! Yes.

Okay. Uh, How do you take it? Cream?
Sugar?

Both.

-But I'll mix them myself. Out here.
-Okay.

Both.

And if it isn't too much trouble,
I'd like some cookies. And candy.

Maybe some nuts, a bowl of fruit.
Popcorn, toast with butter.

Maybe a pot roast.

I'll see what I can do.

Yams, if you have them.

-A snow day, huh?
-We kinda had a paper due.

And I tried to shut off the machine
a bunch of times.

-Honest.
-It's very temperamental.

It took me over two months to build it.

But Santa, I thought you worked
at the North Pole.

Well, normally I do. But there are
so many distractions at the North Pole.

Especially at this time of the year.

I thought, I finally had the machine
finished on Thursday,

and I was going to go back, but then,
well, it started to do

all sort of odd things, like raining
when it should be snowing,

and snowing when it should be sunny.

And that's why you got frustrated
and threw it away.

Exactly.

(SIGHS) But it's such
an important machine.

-Very important.
-Extremely important.

Why?

-Why?
-Why? She's funny.

-Yeah, why?
-We never understood that either.

It's important, because I wanted
to give people

the "Ultimate Christmas present."

A gentle, white snowfall.

So simple and so pure,
that we would all just stop rushing around

and take a few moments to be reminded
of the magic of the season.

It's all my fault, Santa. If I hadn't been
such a total lame-o

and just written my paper
like I was supposed to,

none of this would've happened.

I am so sorry, Santa.

There'll be plenty of time to talk
about that later.

The important thing right now is to stop
this storm. Now, where is the machine?

(JOEY YELLS)

(WIND HOWLING)

-Where did you get that, little boy?
-I found it!

Found it? You mean stole it, don't you?

You know what happens to little boys
who steals?

-I didn't steal it! I found it!
-They go to jail! For a long time.

-Sometimes, forever.
-I don't want to go to jail!

Why don't you hand it over to me,
and I'll see what I can do?

Here you go. Go on now.

(JOEY SCREAMS)

A weather making machine.

From now on, I will be the greatest
weatherman in the world.

Because I will control the weather.

(EDWIN LAUGHS, COUGHS)

Hi, honey, it's me. Um, I hope
you check your voicemail.

Um, did you enter a contest?

Mom, I didn't steal it! I found it
and it's making snow!

And the man says I could go to jail,
maybe forever!

Okay. Wait, slow down. What did you say?

I'm sorry. I'm not understanding you.
You're going too fast.

We have to find a way to distract her.

Have you ever played ding-dong ditch?

-What did you steal? What's making snow?
-Upstairs.

-(DOORBELL RINGS)
-Just a second.

JOEY: But Mom!

Hello!

Hello!

-Uh... Hello!
-(SPARKY GIGGLES)

It's snowing in Allie's room.

Joey, please. I got enough problems
right now, okay?

-All righty! Where did the TV guy go?
-Mom!

-Hey, who are you?
-ALLIE: It's that boring weatherman

-from TV.
-Edwin, give me the machine.

Give me the weather machine, Edwin.

-Never!
-Edwin! Edwin!

(EDWIN YELLS)

(EDWIN GROANS)

Let's take the stairs.

No one ever believes me.

-Hey, Joey. This is Santa and his elf.
-Pleased to meet you, Joey.

Don't tell Mom, okay?

Coochie-coochie.

(EDWIN LAUGHS)

(ENGINE REVS)

-Stop! Stop!
-Stop!

-I know a short cut.
-SAMANTHA: Please, not another short cut.

(CHILDREN PANT)

-Sparky, come on.
-Okay.

-Nothing can stop me now.
-Stop!

(EDWIN YELLS)

(EDWIN YELLS)

ALLIE: Come on. He crashed
into this candy factory.

My snowmobile.

It is okay, Horace. Perhaps Santa
will bring you a new one for Christmas.

-(SANTA GIGGLES)
-Let's go.

-CRUMPET: Now, where could he have gone?
-It's like he vanished.

SPARKY: He disappeared.

Over here.

Chocolate footprints.

Come on.

They stopped.

(CHOCOLATE PATTERS)

(SPARKY EXCLAIMS)

-Sparky, what are you doing?
-It's raining chocolate.

Stay back.

Edwin, give us the machine, please.

No, you can't have it. I want it.
I found it, and it's mine.

(SANTA SIGHS)

Sparky.

(SPARKY GROWLS)

EDWIN: Stay back, I tell you.

-Back. Stay down.
-Sparky, don't.

No. Stay back.

(EDWIN SCREAMS)

Get him.

(EDWIN YELLS)

SANTA: Allie, the machine.

-(ALLIE GRUNTS)
-(EDWIN SCREAMS)

-SANTA: Well done, Allie.
-Good job, Al. Woo!

(SPARKY GASPS)

EDWIN: I hate cotton candy.

-Can't I have it?
-I'm sorry, Edwin, no.

EDWIN: Guess I'll be on my way.

Or not.

(HAMMERING)

SANTA: Screwdriver.

Wrench.

You realize you just can't keep me here
against my will.

I have a report to file, after all.

Not now.

-Chewing gum.
-SPARKY: Sure, boss.

Ew!

Thank you.

I'm stumped. The Q-wire's attached,
the rhombus wheel is turning,

I've triple checked everything
from the alpha coil to the zip volume.

In theory, this machine
should be working perfectly.

-Did you check the batteries?
-Batteries!

I always use my own
special brand of batteries. Ever Merry.

Each battery lasts 100 years.
So, it couldn't possibly...

-Oh dear.
-What's wrong?

I just remembered
that when I put the batteries in,

I was out of Ever Merry's,
so I used generic ones.

Quick, open these up.

(MACHINE WHIRRING)

I think it's working.

All right! Let's raise the temperature
to 58 degrees,

and bring out the sun.

-Yes!
-(ALL EXCLAIM)

Oh dear! It's 4:05 already.

-Do we still have time?
-Can we make Christmas?

It will be awfully, awfully tight.
But yes, I think we can.

Boys, let's pack up everything
we need from here, and quickly.

So...

Santa, I'm really on the naughty list,
aren't I?

Yes.

But it isn't a permanent situation.

It will change if you've learned something
today.

I have high hopes for you,
Allie Thompson.

You're a trailblazer with a great sense
of adventure.

-That sounds pretty good.
-SANTA: It is.

But it also comes with great deal
of responsibility.

-It does?
-Yes.

You can't waste all that energy
and brain power

on just skipping homework assignments
and taking what doesn't belong to you.

You have to use them for things
that are responsible and unselfish.

Imagine if I just decided to skip
Christmas.

Think of all the billions of children
who'd wake up on Christmas morning,

to find their stockings empty,
and nothing under the tree.

You did a wonderful job
helping me today, Allie.

And I'll never forget that.

Oh, please! I may lose my lunch.

Can we just get on with this?
I have a Pulitzer prize to win.

Edwin.

Edwin, Edwin.

Edwin.

I couldn't be more ashamed.

I remember you as a child, Edwin.

Bright, inquisitive. You weren't a crook.

Then what happened, Edwin?

What made you such a selfish snob?

What made you so mean?

It's... it's not fair.

What's not fair?

Everything.

Ever since I was a little boy,
all I wanted to be was a meteorologist.

While other kids were playing with toys,
I was busy playing with thermometers.

They'd look at the clouds, and see ponies
and ice cream cones.

All I could see were condensed forms
of atmospheric moisture.

(EDWIN SOBS)

Oh, Mr. Martino was right.

I'm a failure.

Edwin.

Edwin, you're not a failure.

What you need is a new challenge.

A place where the weather is exciting.

A place where you can share your knowledge

with people who have the same passions
that you do.

But where? If I could go to

-such a place...
-I'll see what I can do.

-EDWIN: Really?
-SANTA: Yes.

But if, and only if, you promise
to be good from now on.

No more lying, cheating or stealing.

Oh, and...
nothing about our little adventure.

Do I have your word?

As a gentleman, and more importantly,
as a meteorologist.

But how?

You'll see, Edwin. You'll see.

We're ready, sir.

Good, good. Well, let's get moving, hmm?
Christmas is upon us.

(LAUGHS)

But first things first.
We have to get you two home.

Um, Santa, I've kind of have
a little favor to ask.

(INDISTINCT WHISPERING)

-MICHELLE: Merry Christmas.
-ALLIE: Merry Christmas, Mom.

-Merry Christmas.
-Thanks, Joey.

Now, Allie, I want to tell you
straight up.

I am so sorry. I know it's been
a yucky Christmas,

but there is no big present
for you under that tree.

And I know you wanted the rollerblades,
and I tried, I really did.

But with this storm,
there was just no way.

-It's okay, Mom.
-I'm really sorry, honey.

To tell you the truth,
I forgot all about them.

Well, there is good news.
With all my canceled parties,

we're going to be having
turkey sandwiches...

-for the next five years.
-(CHILDREN CHUCKLE)

Mom.

Let's not open anything until Dad
gets home.

Yeah, we should wait.

Are you sure?

'Cause it might be a while.

I mean, the airport's just reopened,
the roads, some of them are still closed.

So, I mean, there's a good chance
that he might not even make it back today.

Well, we'll just wait until he does.

JOEY: Yeah.

Okay.

SANTA: Your gift should arrive
right about...

-now.
-(CAR HONKS)

-Hey, everybody. Allie. Joey!
-It's Dad.

Hey, kids, I'm home!

-Dad!
-Dad, you're home!

Hey! Whoa!

-Dad.
-Dad.

-Merry Christmas, buddy! (LAUGHS)
-How did you manage to get a ride in that?

Well, the flights were all booked up,

and I was in this never-ending line
for a rental car,

when I met these two guys who said
they were going my way.

Hey, thanks, guys. Merry Christmas.

They have the strangest names. Uh,
Sparket and Crumpy.

Sparky and Crumpet.

-How did you know that?
-It's kind of a long story.

Oh.

-This has your name on it.
-(MICHELLE GASPS)

Oh, honey. Oh, I don't believe it.
How did you...

I thought it was pretty appropriate,
considering.

You know, even with the blizzard,
I would've found a way to get here

one way or another.

-I love you so much.
-I love you, too.

In fact, I love all of you
so much, and, uh...

being here is...

I don't know, it's...

The "Ultimate Christmas present"?

That's exactly right, Allie.

It's the "Ultimate Christmas present."

Thank you, Santa.

(SANTA CHUCKLES)

You're welcome, Allie.

-JOEY: Allie!
-MICHELLE: Merry Christmas.

STEVE: Yeah!

-(CHILDREN SQUEAL)
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Oh, my God.

STEVE: Allie, you think you're gonna get
away with that?

(ALLIE SQUEALS AND LAUGHS)

Good morning, class.
And welcome to the South Pole.

Campus to the Edwin Hadley
Meteorological Institute.

In the next six months,
you'll be learning everything

from tracking storm clouds,
to measuring levels of precipitation,

to assessing ozone layers.

This class will be technical.
This class will be difficult.

-He's so cool.
-EDWIN: And most important,

it'll be fun.

What do you say? Are you ready?

-(EVERYONE CHEERS)
-All right!