Original subtitles

♪

-"Gunsmoke."

Starring James Arness as Matt Dillon.

-Hey!

Awful waste of sweat out there, old-timer.

[ Laughing ]

-Ah, quit your scrawlin'. Here's your vittles.

Jabez, that raunchy-looking skunk is back again.

-What makes you think raunchy, you mutton-headed gator?

Look, you been takin' awful good care of us here lately.

-Well, that ain't no choice of mine.

I'll guarantee you that.

-You get somebody to handle the noose?

-Oh, hush your mouth.

-Hey.

I'll make you a promise.

-What's that?

-'Fore we leave, I'll get the one that takes the job.

-[ Scoffs ]

-You couldn't bust a bird's egg with a ball-peen hammer.

I ain't gettin' nowhere. -[ Laughs ]

[ Muttering ]

-What is the matter with you? -Huh?

-Well, who are you talkin' to? -Talkin' to myself.

That's proof right there

that Dobie's startin' to get under my hide.

-I can see that all right.

-Doc, I haven't never saw a fella as close to gettin'

hisself hung that just acts

like he's a-waitin' for a Sunday social.

And that partner of his in yonder just sleepin' as peaceful

as one of the Maggie Colliers' young'uns.

-Why don't you get Matt to have Newly relieve you?

-Why?

-Well, you're startin' to have a nervous breakdown.

-Oh, hush.

He's just tryin' to pull a bluff on me what he's doin'.

It's just the idea of them fellas

a-gettin' theirselves loosed again that bothers me.

-They're tuned out for good.

-Well, there ain't a person on earth

that's gonna be sorry about that.

I'll guarantee you.

Thing is, Doc,

they just act like they know somethin' we don't know.

♪

[ Indistinct shouting ]

♪

♪

[ Hammering ]

-Hank, how's it comin'?

-Oh, hello, Marshal. Looks about done, I'd say.

-Uh-huh.

Hank, uh, how 'bout you takin' the job?

-What, hangin' them two fellas up to dry?

Oh, no. Not me.

No, I ain't too happy doin' this.

-Well, you know it pays $100. -Yeah.

I know what it pays all right.

And I ain't sayin' I couldn't use the money.

But, from what I hear,

them two fellas have awful good friends.

♪

-Barkeep?

-Yep.

-Could you extend my felicitations

to that lovely lady over there

and ask her to have a libation with me?

-Lib-- -A drink!

-Fella there at that table

asked me to convey his felicitation.

-Felicitation?

-Well, he wants you to have a drink with him.

-Looks like a preacher.

-Some.

♪

-Well now, Mr. -- -My name's Gorman.

Elihu Gorman, at your service.

-Just, uh, passin' through?

-Manner of speaking, you might say that, Miss, uh...

-Russell, Kitty Russell.

-You're quite the quintessence of feminine loveliness,

Miss Russell.

Dodge, a most salubrious town...

-Salubrious...

-Not to some though, I've heard.

-Oh, just what have you heard?

-That there's to be a hanging.

-Yeah.

And I suppose you're here to say a few prayers over 'em.

-Prayers?

Heaven forfend, Miss Russell.

I'm not a preacher.

I've heard this town needs a hangman.

How would a man go about getting that job?

-Well, if a man had stomach enough for it,

he'd ask the marshal, Matt Dillon.

Matt?

-Kitty. -Good mornin'.

Uh, this gentleman is interested in hangin'.

-Well. -Excuse me.

-Sure. -That's a lovely lady.

My name is Gorman.

-What can I do for you, Mr. Gorman?

-I came to Dodge to see a man die,

a man named Dobie Price.

-Is that so?

-I'm not one to take to disappointments.

But many years ago, Dobie Price,

my cousin Dobie Price, did me dirt --

a heap of dirt.

-I see.

So now, you, uh -- you'd like the chance to hang him?

-With the greatest of pleasure.

-No, I'm afraid not, Mr. Gorman.

-I'll do it for half price.

-Sorry.

-Hang him for you for nothing.

-Forget it, Mr. Gorman.

-Mr. Dillon...

can I see Dobie Price when he's hanged?

I mean, like, real close up?

[ Gunshots ]

-Marshal, it's a prison --

[ Gunshots continue ]

-[ Muttering ]

They come busting in before I could ever get my pistol out.

-Festus! Get Doc, will you?

You all right?

-Just dumber than any man ought to be.

♪

[ Lightning crashes ]

[ Rain pouring ]

-Next man...

Thought you'd be back 'fore now.

-You did, huh?

-Any luck with your prisoners?

-No, we lost 'em in the rain.

-Walden boys that sprung 'em.

No surprise to me.

-I thought the Waldens were busted up.

-They're back together again.

Marshal Dillon, I ain't gonna lie to you.

I served my time for what I did -- five long years.

I've caught up with society thanks to Cousin Dobie.

-You tellin' me you know the Waldens?

-Used to ride with 'em, mm-hmm --

Skeets, Brother Harry, Cousin Dobie,

Jabez, couple of others.

I say it'd be quite a feather in your bonnet

if you caught 'em.

But it'll be a bigger one if you caught Cousin Dobie and Jabez.

-That's right.

-I know where they're headin'.

I know where they're gonna hold up.

-Go on.

-You'll never take 'em, Marshal,

not if you used the whole town for a posse --

not where they're at.

Take an army regiment to try 'em.

They might be in for a mite bit of trouble.

-You talking about the Big Basin Country?

-Mm-hmm, but which part?

Now, two men, say you and me, we'd stand a chance.

-How do you figure?

-Power of words -- I think I can talk 'em out.

Mr. Dillon, this is a personal thing to me.

-Uh-huh, your cousin Dobie?

-Cousin Dobie.

Now, I'll never be able to sleep comfortably

till I know the grass is wavin' over him.

Two men could do it if one of them men was me.

Marshal, I -- I got to confess to an impecunious state.

You see, my travels have depleted my resources.

I'm busted. I'm tapped out.

-There you are. Deputy's pay's $2 a day.

-[ Laughs ]

Okay.

We used Big Basin for a hideout when I was ridin' with the boys.

Don't you fret one bit.

That ol' badge and them $2-a-day wages

says I'm gonna talk 'em out.

Mr. Dillon,

I'm gonna need my own pistol.

[ Chamber whirs ]

Look at that -- a hog-leg six-shooter.

Got a hair trigger on it too.

Look at the bead. Hmm.

Betcha this thing could shoot a mile

and then chunk rocks at you.

[ Lightning crashes ]

That Mother Nature's gonna put us in for a wet ride, huh?

[ Thunder rumbling ]

[ Lightning crashes ]

[ Water rushing, wind blowing ]

We're never gonna get across that!

-Trail's washed out.

There's a land shack back that way.

[ Lightning crashes ]

[ Rain pouring ]

[ Knocking ]

Hey, we'd sure appreciate gettin' in out of the rain.

-Come on in, fellas.

-Ah, man. Thank you.

That was just ...

-Ah, we're mighty grateful to you.

-Ah, well, a grateful man's usually a friendly one.

Help yourself to coffee. -Oh, sounds good.

-You was mighty lucky to find this place --

the only shelters for miles. -Yeah.

This is the Narramore Ranch, isn't it?

-That's right. You know my Pa?

-Yeah, well, I met him a time or two.

-We thought maybe you boys would put us up for the night.

-Be a mite crowded, but you're welcome.

-Well, make yourself at home, boys.

Say, you play poker?

-Poker? That's one of my weaknesses.

In poker and women,

I ain't got a moral bone in my body, boys.

-How 'bout you, Mister?

-Oh, no, thanks. -This here's a friendly game.

And there are are dollar limits.

-'Bout my speed as long as you boys don't slicker me.

Mm-hmm. My name is Gorman.

Elihu Gorman.

Friends call me Huey.

-Well, Huey, I'm Corny Tate.

This here's Jackson Narramore ...

-Hmm. -...Duff French ...

-Hey, boy. -...and Billy Craw.

-Hello, Bill. -Hi.

-Good-lookin' ol' boy back there, his name is Matt Dillon.

-Marshal of Dodge. -You betcha.

So you boys better start mindin your manners

or we'll all end up in the pokey over in Dodge.

-Ante up! -Yeah.

-This game's draw, jacks or better.

-Mm-hmm.

♪

-[ Laughs ]

[ Laughs ]

♪ So she took me in her parlor

♪ And she cooled me with her fan ♪

♪ And she whispered low in her mama's ear ♪

♪ How she loved this gamblin' man ♪

Did you ever see the feet of that one boy?

Did you ever see the feet of him?

-Yeah, I figured you had enough

while just findin' a dry spot in this here ranch.

-No truer words was ever spoke, boy.

No truer words was ever spoke.

I believe it's my deal. Give me that, please.

-I wouldn't find a good enough hand

so I can stay in this here game.

-Seein' as you donated so generously, boy,

I'm gonna take a Sunday punch at that.

Cut 'em.

-All right.

[ Rain pouring ]

[ Lightning crashes ]

[ Glass shatters ]

[ Indistinct shouting ]

-Gorman, hold on!

-Oh, Marshal, these boys started it like my very own.

-He's cheatin'! -Yeah, he's been cheatin'!

-Liar! I've been cut clean to the bone!

-He just stuck an ace in the top of his boot!

-He's been slow-deckin' us all along.

-Are you gonna listen to these pups?

-One sure way to prove it.

-Now, wait a minute.

That's a flat insult.

'Sides, I shouldn't be trashin' around

with these sharecroppin' cowboys anyway.

-Gorman!

-Huh?

-The boot.

-You see that? -The other one.

[ Lightning crashing, thunder rumbling ]

-Smart aleck.

♪

How'd that get there?

[ Lightning crashes ]

-You know what they say -- a big hunk of desert.

We're sittin' out here underneath this oak tree

when we could be back there, high and dry.

-That's right.

-Oh, you talk like that is my fault.

You present a puzzle.

Why ain't you back there with them cowboys

out of all this wet?

-Because you're gonna talk your Cousin Dobie

out of Big Basin for me, remember?

-That's right!

I could just see old Dobie swayin' on the end of that rope.

Oh, yeah! It proves one thing, Marshal --

There's always some silver linin's

up there if you look hard enough.

-Oh, yeah, there's a silver linin', all right.

-Ol' Cousin Dobie. I just can't wait.

♪ Well, I hadn't been in Washington ♪

♪ many more months than three

♪ Well, I fell in love with a pretty little gal ♪

♪

♪

Pretty good place to cook, amigo.

-Yeah, especially with all this firewood layin' around.

-See any other? -No.

But we better between here and there.

-Could always tuck our tails and run.

-Yeah, and we could always get cut down.

There's one high on the left there.

-Mm-hmm, right, too.

-Yeah, I see him.

-What them two bucks is cookin' up here?

-Smells good, doesn't it? -Sure does.

♪

I got a hunch they gonna offer us some of that food.

-Yeah, I got the same hunch.

♪

-Jabez!

Jabez, you chicken-livered dog-eatin' breed!

You varmint!

You gonna come out,

or you gonna tuck your tail and run like you always do?

Jabez!

-Do you think he'll try again?

-I think he will now.

-Now, Amy, when I get her lifted up,

you get that burl under there, you hear?

-I'll try, I'll try.

-[ Grunting ]

-Hello, folks.

Folks, can we give you some help?

-Thought we was in a hurry to get where we is a-goin'?

-We'd sure be much obliged to you, Mister.

-My name is Gorman.

Elihu Gorman at your service, sir.

-My name's Ketchum. My wife, Amy.

We're headed for Wyoming. -Uh-huh.

Oh, that's the god -- uh, the world --

beautiful country.

-I lost a burr on the way.

I got another one.

But I just couldn't get that wheel back on by myself.

-Well, maybe we can give you a hand with it here.

Why don't you get the wheel and -- come on, Gorman.

-Yes, sir.

-All right.

Now, let's get our backs into it here.

-Let me get this rock under here.

Wait, let it down.

There we are.

[ Grunting ]

-Man could bust a gut doin' somethin' like this.

Why don't we unload that wagon?

-Little more.

Little more will do it.

-'Cause we're in a hurry, remember?

-Yeah.

-Sure am in your debt, Jim.

-We're always glad to oblige, sir.

-I ain't got all that much,

but I do want to say thanks other than by words.

-Eh, no, thanks -- you'll get a chance

to return the favor for somebody else one of these days.

-Yeah.

Well, I'm obliged to you -- much obliged to you.

-You know, uh, we ran into Indians a few miles back here.

-Indians? -Yes.

But I think you folks will be safe enough

if you head this way. There's a town just a few miles.

-Oh, dear, Indians.

-Well, they'll catch 'em soon enough,

but in the meantime,

I'd kind of keep out of this area as much as you can.

Gorman?

-Be right there, Marshal.

♪

-How far is that town, Marshal?

-Well, you folks ought to be there by dark.

-Thanks for the advice, Marshal.

-Come on.

♪

-Well?

-Mama, we beat floods and sandstorms

and drought gettin' this far.

We can face a few Indians.

♪

-Thought he throwed a shoe.

We sure come a fair piece today.

Little warm though, ain't it?

-Gorman, you got less conscience

than any man I ever knew.

-Marshal, I got a conscience.

It's just I don't use mine the way you use yours.

-All right, we're takin' this back.

-What? -You heard me.

-Oh, come on. It ain't that much.

-It's every cent they had. -What?

Put my word on it that ain't so.

Marshal, split that, would you?

Marshal, I know you a charitable man.

And I respect you for it.

And I know you got them philanthropic ways,

but I ain't just yet ain't got 'em.

-Get mounted. -Look here.

We got us a hangin' to tend to.

You goin' way back over yonder and miss catchin' Cousin Dobie?

-Well, you haven't given us any choice.

-Mr. Dillon, I'm goin' to the Big Basin.

-No, you're not.

♪

-You better save that right, Marshal.

Remember? You gonna need me.

That's fine.

You know, I'm gettin' to like you.

You're a pretty good ol' boy.

Whew!

♪

Why didn't those folks listen to you, Marshal?

I would have thought you'd seen so much death out here

it wouldn't bother you.

-Yeah, it still bothers me.

Look around.

See if you can find somethin' to bury 'em with, will you?

-Hmm.

♪

Here's a word for you, Marshal -- salutiferous.

You know what that means?

-No.

-Promotin' health.

I reckon this ain't gonna be no salutiferous evening

for some certain breed that I could mention.

-Yeah.

I wonder how many of 'em there is out there.

-I don't know, but don't you get greedy.

You leave a couple for the old man, will you?

Hmm?

-Yes, sir.

[ Owl hooting ]

You know somethin'?

This is amazin' -- pluperfectly amazin'.

-What's that? -The power of words.

You know, a man could pretty near move a mountain with words

if he knowed how to say 'em.

I once owned a mountain, Mr. Dillon --

a mountain of gold.

Oh, I could have been a wealthy man --

a powerful, wealthy man.

But I met a friend.

He made me sign a paper.

And I couldn't read it.

So I lost that mountain of gold.

-What happened to your friend?

-Well, he looked kind of clean and nice all stretched out

in that expensive casket out there in Colorado.

Then I hired myself up to St. Louis.

I went in front of one of them new libraries --

had two big ol' stone lions sat in front of it.

I took off through them swingin' doors,

and I got ahold of a dictionary, a big one --

big enough to choke a horse.

And I started thumbin' my way through it.

Lookin' at words, words, words.

There must have been a million of 'em or a billion of 'em.

Probably could take a man a lifetime to learn 'em all.

[ Shouting ]

[ Gunshots ]

♪

Jabez!

Jabez, you Indian-breed!

Why you -- you'd have to go a long way

to get somebody to mourn over the likes of this one.

Huh? Ahh.

♪

Marshal, I'm gonna tell you, I can go it alone.

-Why?

-It's the part of the Big Basin where them boys are holed up.

And I reckon they got their trails covered.

-Gorman, how do you know they're not gonna just shoot you?

-Sir, I ain't too sure of that.

But when I go around that big bend up there,

if you hear a slight commotion, you just stay put.

If you hear a big one, you better start makin' tracks

'cause I'm afraid I'm gonna need you.

-I'd be careful, now.

-Dillon, I have a natural propensity for carefulness.

-Gorman? -Yes, sir?

-Badge. -Oh, excuse me.

That's a slight oversight, ain't it?

Marshal, you still got your mind made up

that you ain't gonna let me hang Dobie?

Well, I guess there ain't no harm in askin',

but I'd still do it for you for nothin'.

-Gorman, get goin', will you?

-Well, that's good money goin' after bad --

payin' somebody to hang.

Come on, get up.

♪

[ Bullet ricochets ]

Trigger-happy smart aleck.

♪

-Hold it, varmint!

-Gorman, you old moss back. When'd you get out?

-Oh, about five or six months.

Been a long winter, son.

-What are you doin' up here?

-Up to see you and Dobie and the boys.

-Well, if you ain't the one.

It's good to see you again.

-Good to see you too, boy.

Hey, who throwed that punch out at me up the road apiece?

-It was Smith.

-Cuts 'em a little close, don't he?

Look here, boy.

Somebody's been tailin' me.

I don't know who it is.

But I'd sure like to find out.

So you keep your eyes peeled, will you?

-You go on in, and I'll go back and have a look-see.

-Good boy.

Take care of yourself, hear?

[ Gunshots ]

-[ Laughs ]

You bunch of skunks!

You varmints!

-I'll be a suck-egg coyote if it ain't Huey!

-Hey, how you been?

[ Laughter ]

-Harry, Steven, you old varmint, you.

-Well, looky here.

-Hi, cousin Huey.

-Dobie. Boy, how you have growed.

-You're sure lookin' fine.

-Never felt any better.

-How come you were to be making tracks this way, Huey?

-Come up here to see you boys.

Then here -- I thought maybe I'd rest up a spell.

-Skeets and the boys busted Jabez and me

out of the Dodge jail.

-Oh.

-Jabez hung back and got some of his people

to handle him in case they followed us.

-Mercy, mercy.

-Old hoss. -Hmm?

-You runnin' too? -I'm not scared.

But there's been a couple of 'em tailin' me.

-It's like old times havin' you here with us, Huey.

-Thanks, Skeeter.

-Place never was much for digs.

But there's some tolerable scamper juice and vittles.

Go get him some grub.

-That sound good.

Come here, Dobie. Sit down, boy.

I want to take another good look at you.

Yes, sir.

Tell you somethin' -- five years it's been since I seen you, boy.

♪

-That's far enough, mister.

Mac, get his gun.

Reed, Smith, come on in.

We got him.

-Here's to you, Huey.

-Boys, let's paint the tonsils.

-Listen, Huey. -Mm-hmm.

-I'm right sorry about you gettin' caught back there

in Colbyville.

-Dobie, what's done is done.

Let's drink to better days.

-Well, that was just plum bad luck, Huey.

Uh, we all felt real bad about that.

Didn't we, boys?

What do you say, Huey?

How 'bout joinin' up with us again?

Cut you in the same as before.

-We got ideas.

-Ah, Skeets.

I'm kind of gettin' long in the horn.

-You?

You old devil.

Why, you'll live to see all of us planted.

Ain't that right, boys?

-Yeah, and then some.

-You think on it, Huey -- about joinin' up with us again.

Treat you right. -Nah.

I'm fine with this.

Kind of aged -- this old boy.

I like bein' alone.

I could always pick up enough to get by.

-That's not much of a way for a man to make a livin' --

pickin' up enough to get by.

-You keep talkin' like that, Skeets,

and we might get ourselves somethin' goin'

for ourselves again.

But 'spect maybe I'd be too much of a heavyweight

for you boys to carry, you reckon?

-Ah, shoot, Huey.

All you need's a job or two.

You'll be your old self again.

-Dobie, we got somethin' for you.

-It's the Marshal.

-What marshal?

-Dillon, the Marshal with Dodge.

-Is that a fact?

-You're right, Gorman. He's followin' you.

-I had a feelin'.

You been followin' me, stranger?

Uh, do I know you?

-I'm afraid you're mistaken.

-And you ain't followed me?

-Harry, Smith, get back on watch.

Huey.

You ain't with him, are you, Huey?

-Me trashin' around with a law dog?

You out of your mind, Skeets?

-I would hate to think that Dobie

running out on you in Colbyville

or even five years in prison would do that to you.

-What's the matter with you, man?

Dobie's my cousin.

He's my blood cousin.

You think I'd turn him in to some lawman, or you either?

-Yeah.

-What you aim to do with that fella?

-I figure he's gonna have a accident --

fall off one of the ledges.

-That might be pretty good.

-You'll take care of it for me, Huey?

-Sure, uh, if you want me to.

-Huey!

-Second thought --

he might make for a bit of barganin'

if a posse got too close.

-Yeah.

He would, wouldn't he?

Yeah.

See no harm in keepin' this old boy alive for a while.

Unh-unh.

♪

♪

-If there is a posse, where they at?

-Lookin' for him, as well as us.

-If they know he's in here and he don't come back...

-No need to panic.

-That's easy for you to say.

There's a rope waitin' for me at Dodge.

-Last time I saw you, Skeeter, I got leg irons put on me.

-You hush, Dobie.

-I say let's kill him.

-You say?

Well, what you say don't count all that much.

Now what I say --

we wait until Smith and Harry finish checkin' outside.

-Be a joke on us if there ain't no posse --

if he tryin' to be a hero all by his own self.

♪

-Yeah.

-Dobie, you take that marshal a plate of grub.

-Ah, let him starve.

He's fixin' to hang me, remember?

-Cousin Dobie, if I held grudges like you,

you'd been dead by now.

I'll put the feed bag on that law dog.

♪

Dillon?

Matt Dillon? -Make a sound and you're dead.

-Now, Marshal, it's old Huey.

-Now just stand still.

-Been sweatin' in there tryin' to get in here to you.

-I'll bet you was.

-I figured if we got in there together

we could take 'em by surprise.

-Why'd you turn me in?

-I wanted us both to get in there together

so we could take 'em.

-You were gonna talk 'em out.

-Marshal, you don't want to know the truth.

-I don't think you know what the word means.

-I sure do, and all along, I --

I figured you didn't trust me.

You know, I knowed you was gonna follow me.

And I figured if you got yourself caught,

we both won't be in trouble.

-Well, I wouldn't have got caught if they hadn't have

been waitin' for me. -I know it.

But when you did get caught,

I tried to fix it up so it looked like that one

of us would be on their side. -Yeah.

And I'm still wonderin' if one of us isn't.

-There you go again.

Dillon, you got to trust me implicitly.

-Why? -Huey!

I wonder what's keepin' him.

Huey!

-Get your six-shooter out.

Hey, boys, I'll be right there.

-Be quiet.

-Huey?

Watch out, Skeets! The Marshal's sprang!

[ Gunshots ]

-Marshal, give me that six-shooter, will you?

-Get back over there.

-No, they don't think I'm with you.

I -- I -- I want to try out somethin'.

Give me that gun.

Please?

-All right.

-Come to me.

Chief!

Old Huey -- Don't shoot!

-Let's get out of here.

There's gonna be bullets flyin' all over here.

Let's get out of here.

-I hear them.

[ Bullet ricochets ]

-Come on out, Huey!

-[ Laughs ] You come on in!

[ Laughs ]

[ Gunshots ]

That just leaves you, Cousin Dobie.

Cousin Dobie, I guess we gonna get

to 'tend your necktie party after all!

-Cousin Huey?

-Yeah, Cousin Dobie?

-I can get ahold of some money.

You take care of that marshal.

-Gorman, get out here where I can see you.

-How much money, old Dob? -Gorman!

-$500, maybe more.

-Whew, that's more than the Marshal's payin' me.

He -- he's just payin' me $2 a day.

-Gorman, get out here, I said.

-Mr. Dillon, you hear that?

Cousin Dobie wants to give him $500

to put some daylight through you.

Think on that -- $500.

Wait a minute.

I wouldn't get the pleasure of seein' ol' Dobie swingin'

on that rope, would I?

But $500 -- whew -- that's a heap of money.

Don't move, Marshal.

I never miss.

-The money's over at Fort Hayes, Cousin Huey.

I can get ahold of it easy.

There might even be more.

-Marshal, I sure hope you will excuse my -- my procrastination,

but you folks got me 'twixt and 'tween.

[ Gun clicks ]

[ Gunshots ]

Dobie!

-All right.

Easy, now. Easy.

-At least got to that last thing right, didn't I,

Marshal Dillon?

-You sure did.

Doesn't look like you're hit too bad.

-Let's see.

I reckon there's a word in here for this.

Bet you there's a million of 'em.

Got it here, yeah -- phenomenological.

That's the word for it.

-I reckon it is.

-You know, Miss Kitty, when I was a young fella,

I bought myself a stolen horse.

Fella gave me a fake bill of sale.

Yes, sir, that's the first time I went to jail.

Caused me grief, and I decided

I was gonna get me some readin' done.

And I bought this dictionary here.

I had this old book for a long time.

Always carry it right next to my heart.

-You ain't got no heart! -Huh.

-I can see your jaws a-flappin',

but I can't hear nothin' out of my ears.

-You know, it is just totally incomprehensible to me that you

wouldn't have considered the rare possibility that --

-Incomprehensible, Doc? Got to look that one up.

-Of all the chicken-headed scatter wampuses

I have ever saw, you frost the cake.

Now, just supposin' they hadn't a brung Matthew into that cave.

Supposin' they'd just a shot him out yonder in the canyon.

What about that?

-Whew.

I never thought of that.

-You never thought? -Unh-unh.

That'd have been terrible, wouldn't it?

-As a matter of fact, it would've been.

-You know, I just wouldn't have believed it.

-What's that, Doc? -That I would see two living,

breathing troglodytes right together.

-Mm-hmm. -One of 'em mental,

and the other one physical.

-Troglodytes?

-That's the physical one right there.

-Now, I don't know what you're talkin' about.

But I don't want you linkin' me up

with the likes of him. -Here, Doc.

Troglola-- troglodyte --

a primitive people who dwell in caves.

A primitive people who are thought to resemble a...

-A what? -Anthropoid ape.

-A what?

-Well, all you got to do is just look in the mirror.

-Why, you ornery ol' blabbermouth.

-Matt, it's gettin' a little bit late.

I'll see you in the morning. -All right, Doc.

-Night, Kitty. -Night, Doc.

-Just one thing I'm wonderin' --

how does it come that everything we start to talkin' about,

you can always twist it around so it's a insult to me?

-To tell you the truth, it's not very hard.

-You wouldn't know the truth if it'd come up and kick you.

-Well, the main-most thing, we got Dobie and that gang.

Didn't we, Marshal? -Yeah.

We sure did, Gorman. -Thinkin' on that,

I got somethin' I want to propose to you.

-And, uh, what's that?

-That I become your permanent deputy.

Now, think on that.

-Yes, well, I -- I'll do that.

Good night, Kitty.

-Good night, Matt.

-Reckon I jumped him too soon with that, huh?

-I reckon.

-Better talk to him tomorrow

after he has a little bit of shut-eye.

-That'd be better. -Yeah.

I sure would admire settle down in this god's town.

It's a salubrious town.

I can't get hooked up with the marshal --

Miss Kitty, maybe you would consider employin' me.

You know, I could keep this rabble roof game

down around the saloon for you.

Nothin' like grabbin' a hold of a drunk and squeezin' him

and throwin' him through a pair of swingin' doors.

Yes, sir. It has a soberin' effect.

It sure does.

Troglodyte is an ape.

♪

-Stay tuned for scenes from next week's "Gunsmoke."

♪