Original subtitles

♪

[ Gunshot ]

♪

-"Gunsmoke," starring James Arness as Matt Dillon.

-And I hear tell that

that there was the coldest winter that we've ever had.

-Don't tell me what the coldest winter

in Dodge City was!

I've been here longer than than you have.

And the coldest winter in Dodge City

was the winter of '63.

-How cold did it get?

-Well, it was the winter of the blue snow!

-Blue snow? -You betcha.

-I ain't never heared of it snowin' no blue snow.

-I didn't say it snowed blue.

-Well, you did too! -I didn't either!

When it gets that cold, it's too cold to snow.

The snow was already there.

And it just laid there, all over the ground

and turned blue.

-Well, I never heared of such a silly thing as that.

-It's not silly at all. -Blue snow.

-Well, no. When you get cold,

your lips turn blue, don't they?

-Well, course they do. -Right.

-But cold people and cold snow

is two different things. -No.

-Now, I've heared of it rainin' toady frogs,

but I ain't never hear -- -Toady frogs?

-Yeah, I've heared of it actually rainin' toady frogs.

-Well, which one was it? -Which was what?

-Well, which did it rain, toadies or frogs?

-Well, you see, Doc, back home,

we used to have these here little ol' things like that,

and we called 'em toady frogs. Don't ya see?

-No, I don't see at all.

A toad's a toad, and a frog's a frog.

-What I'm tryin' to tell ya, Doc...

-Go get the horses!

-Let me help you down, Monk.

-Monk? -Come here.

-What the thunder happened to you, Monk?

-We got held up. Got me in the shoulder.

-Well, here, let me see. -No, don't mind me.

There's a woman inside. -A woman?

-She needs your sight more than I do.

-Go get Moss Molly, Festus.

-Look out. look out.

-Let me through here, folks. Let me through.

What's going on?

-Somebody robbed a stage, Marshal.

-Monk? -Just a crease.

-Were you carrying anything?

-Money shipment for Mr. Barnakins over at the bank.

They got it. -Where'd this happen?

-Near the Willow Creek relay station.

-How many were there? -I thought there was one.

I got off a shot, and I got hit from behind.

-From behind? -Yeah.

The passenger got off the stage and shot me.

-Burke, get my horse ready.

[ Baby crying ]

-It's a baby.

[ Baby continues crying ]

-Here's your horse, Marshal.

[ Knock on door ]

-Kitty? Here, Kitty. Take this little fella

up to my office. -Oh!

-And put him on somethin' he won't roll off of, will ya?

Here. Now...

-Doc, well, this --

this is the tiniest little baby I've ever seen in my life.

-Yeah, that tiny little baby

may turn out to be an awful big problem.

♪

♪

♪

-He don't look too awful bad.

I mean, for a brand new one, does he, Newly?

-I'm afraid I couldn't tell you too much about that, Festus.

-What a cute little ol' scutter.

Now if I saw Haggen babies,

you'd make three or four of this here.

-[ Baby crying ]

-That there is another baby's callin'.

-Sure sounds like, don't it?

-Golly be.

-Did you ever hear of twins

bein' born before in Dodge, Festus?

-Not since I've been here in town, I ain't.

Well, no wonder you such a puny little ol' thing.

-Miss Kitty, if I could -- -Get outta the way, Newly.

What are you doin', Festus?

-Uh, Miss Kitty, that other --

-I thought Doc sent you to get Moss Molly.

-Well, that's what I came up here to tell him.

Moss Molly went to visit her sister in County Gross.

That's another boy, is he?

-It's a boy.

-Where...Oh, there it is. -Ain't that the limit?

You little ol' --

-If Doc catches you pokin' at that baby,

he'll skin you alive.

-I ain't a-pokin'.

I know better than a little pokin' at young'uns.

-You do, huh? -Well, of course I do.

The way some folks carries on, it's just...

I got more than just a passin' knowin' about babies,

I'll tell you that.

-Well, what are we gonna do with him?

-Put him right in here with his brother.

-Won't he be a little crowded in there?

-Not as crowded as he has been.

Just turn that back there for me, will ya?

Here.

-[ Fussing ]

-Now, Kitty, get back on in there, will ya?

-Huh.

-All right, now I'm gonna have to have some help here.

Festus, I want you to ride out and get Mrs. Roniger.

-Doctor, Roniger has done got 10 young'uns. They don't --

-Don't tell me how many young'uns the Ronigers has got!

I need an expert. Now, go get her.

♪

[ Chickens clucking ]

-Hey, give me some more paint, Bede.

-Yes, Pa.

[ Cow mooing ]

-Somebody's comin', Pa!

-Sure enough.

Why, it's Festus Haggen, Bede.

Go tell your mom we got company!

-Yes, Sir. Ma! Ma! Ma!

-What's the matter, Bede?

-Well, Mr. Haggen is comin' on his mule.

Ma! Ma! Mr. Haggen's comin'!

[ Children clamoring ]

[ Children shouting indistinctly ]

-Get down and come on here and visit.

[ Shouting continues ]

-Say, look for yourself. You know what?

-Boy, I sure have seen 'em.

Your brood ain't grown none since I saw ya, has it?

-[ Laughs ] -Hi, Ms. Roniger.

-Festus, it's good to see you. -Good to see you.

-Mary, you go in and set a place for Mr. Haggen, now.

-Yes, Ma. -You're lookin' good.

-Well, Festus, what brings you out here?

-Well, ol' Doc sent me out to see you.

-Well, now you come in and sit

and eat a bite with us whilst we talk.

Now, come on now. -Stay with me.

You take care of Haggen's mule. -Come on, everybody.

-I'm gonna take...

[ Chatter ]

-All right, Festus. Now there are no "but"s about it.

[ Chatter ]

-What's your name?

[ All speaking at once ]

-Now, Festus, you can sit right down here and eat.

-But I done eat my dinner, Ms. Roniger.

-That's right. Sit down, Festus. -Hello, Mr. Haggen.

-How do, Mary? Mmm!

Well, that is, I had a little light snack...

-A little light snack? A great, big fellow like you?

You must be starved! Now you sit right down.

-Bede, you take that hat off in the house.

-...the table that you set.

A fellow's just bound to eat a little dab more.

-Why don't you just dig in? -Tell us a story.

-All right, now, Bede, let me through here.

-Give mommy some room. -I'll tell you one thing.

-We gotta get Mr. Haggen some hot coffee to go with his stew.

-Mr. Haggen?

-Well, I wanna see your kitty cat, too.

-[ Laughs ] There we are.

-Play with her. We'll ask him.

-[ Sniffs ] Ms. Roniger, that do smell pure ol' delightful.

-Now, Festus, what was it Dr. Adams wants of us?

-Oh, yes'm.

This here lady come into Dodge and started havin' babies.

-[ Laughs ]

-What's the matter?

-Oh, Festus, you do have a strange way of sayin' things.

-Well, that's what she done.

She come in on here stagecoach

and she had these here two babies.

Twins! Twin boys, she had! And ol' Doc, he --

-Dr. Adams wants me to come and help him.

-Yes'm, if you could.

And I plan to stay a day or two anyhow, if you can.

-Put the mare to the buggy, Will.

Now, children, I'm gonna be gone for a few days,

and you all know your jobs. Now I want you go up and...

Timothy, go up and get my carpet bag and --

and my bonnet and my shawl.

Mary, would come out here please and you go and help Tim?

And, uh, get out the baby things.

They're in that chest in the back bedroom.

And, um, Bede, you got to help your Pa.

My goodness, you're all big enough

to take care of yourselves, except little Katheryn here.

Constance, you're gonna have to look after her.

Now, I'll be back real soon.

But I have to go into Dodge city and help Dr. Adams

and the mother of little twins. Now let's see.

John, it's your turn to say grace at meals, isn't it?

Do you remember how that goes, John?

-Yes, Ma. -All right.

-God is great. God is good. We thank him for this food.

In the Lord's name, Amen.

-[ Under breath ] Amen.

♪

[ Birds chirping ]

-Mm-hmm.

♪

-Could've been a lot of people found me.

It had to be the law.

-The name's Dillon, United States Marshal.

-It's -- it's bad.

-Who was your partner?

-He left me here with this hole in my belly.

-Who was he?

-Why? You goin' after him?

-I am.

Now the way I figure it, you stopped the stage.

Your partner was ridin' out and he got off to help you rob it.

-You got it, Marshal.

-What was his name?

-You -- you promise to catch him?

-I'm gonna do my best.

-As long as your best is good enough to hang him.

-Mrs. Roniger! -Doc!

-Graces, am I glad to see you.

-Well, it would have hurt my feelings

if you hadn't asked me to come.

-Well, I wouldn't want to hurt your feelings

at a time like this. -Oh, you poor man.

Are you all alone? -No!

No! No, Kitty's in there with the mother.

-Oh, I should have known that. How is the mother?

-Not very good. [ Baby crying ]

-How are these babies?

[ Baby fussing ]

-Two little boys. -Yep.

[ Fussing continues ]

-And they're so small!

-Yeah, but they're all there.

-Dr. Adams, these babies are practically naked.

If I thought you treated my babies like that,

I don't know what I'd have done to you.

-Well, you had the courtesy to have yours one at a time.

-Dr. Adams...

Another one?

-A little boy.

-Triplets!

That's a miracle!

-No, the miracle hasn't happened yet.

We're hopin' for it.

-Ms. Roniger! I brought your things!

Don't thank me! You've got your horse, and he wants to stay.

[ Baby crying ] -[ Whispers ] Shh! Festus!

-I'm just bringin' -- -Oh, it's you.

-Well, I just bringin' Ms. Ronigers' --

-Yes, I heard it.

Why don't you go out and try it again?

You can probably wake up somebody on Boot Hill.

-Well, I just wanted to get up here and see how the babies is.

-I'll tell you how the babies is, and you keep away from 'em.

-[ Scoffs ]

-[ Baby crying ]

-Triplets.

-And there's three of 'em, too.

Well, howdy-do!

-You heard what Doc told you.

-I ain't gonna hurt 'em none. Honest, I ain't, Miss Kitty.

Biggie-buggy!

Biggie-buggy! Biggie. Little skip, you!

[ Gasping ]

Why, they...They ain't no bigger than a tater bug,

are they?

-But aren't they beautiful?

-Well...

Well, Miss Kitty, babies

is about the most wonderfulest thing there is.

But as far as being looks, there ain't none

of these that could pass without pushing.

Well, look at the little ol' squinty up eyes there

and little ol' punched up noses. They'd be --

-Festus. -Well, what I mean is...

-[ Baby fussing ]

-Well...now this here...

He -- he's kinda look-some, that's clear to see.

And he's got eye for somebody

that's partial to him, too, ain't you? You little...

-Doc?

Is there any change?

-Yeah, she's weaker.

-Ain't there nothin' we can do, Doc?

[ Door opens ]

-It's terrible.

-Mrs. Roniger?

-Kitty, that little woman is dying. Isn't she, Doc?

-She wants to die.

-She wants to die? Why, Doc?

-I wish I was doctor enough to know.

-Are these three little young'uns to be took care of?

I just can't understand that at all.

-Well, maybe if we knew more about her.

Doc hasn't been able to find out a thing.

-[ Baby crying ]

-Poor little fella.

What's gonna happen to you without a mother?

-[ Crying ]

-[ Baby crying ]

-Say now, buster.

-Hey, you ought to be asleep.

[ Crying continues ]

-Festus, here, you take this one.

-Well, Doc --

-I don't care what Doc says. Here.

Now, just put your hand under it -- under it, yeah.

Right. Right under the head. Now that's just fine.

[ Crying continues ]

-Pat it. A little bit, gently.

Okay, there you go.

[ Crying continues ]

♪

-Huh, come in. -Hello, Doc.

Aren't you up kinda early?

-Haven't been to bed.

-Well, neither have I.

-You gotta be down.

You findin' anybody yous lookin' for?

-Well, found one of 'em.

-Well, you got him in jail? -No, he's dead.

-Resisted, huh?

-No, he's the one Monk shot.

-Oh.

Well, you got one of 'em.

-Say, Doc, how's that baby?

That baby's triplets.

-Triplets? You're joking.

-No. Three fine boys.

-Well, I'll be doggone. How's the mother?

-Well...

I lost her about an hour ago, Matt.

-Ah, that's a shame.

-[ Clears throat ] It sure is.

Fine lookin' woman as I've ever seen,

and three fine babies and just didn't wanna live.

I... I don't understand it at all.

-Well, Doc, I think maybe I do.

-What do you mean?

-Did she say anything to you before she died?

Tell you her name, or anything?

-No, nothin'.

-Well, the man I found out there did.

He -- he talked a little before he died.

-Well, what did he say?

-Told me the name of the man

who was in on the robbery with him.

-Who was it?

-This man right here.

-Good gracious, how many names he got?

-Well, looks like about one for every crime he's committed.

-Well, you're gonna be a busy man.

-I think I can find him, all right.

-That's not what I mean. -What do you mean?

-Well, I know you've gotta find that skunk there.

But I got three motherless babies upstairs in my office.

And we gotta find their father, and you gotta help me.

I don't know how you're gonna manage it,

but you've got two manhunts on your hands.

-No, Doc, just one.

That's the father of those triplets right there.

It's the same manhunt.

♪

♪

[ Baby fussing ]

-Doctor, number one here just

don't seem to take the goat's milk at all.

-[ Fussing ]

-He can't keep it down, huh? -No, sir. He can't.

The other two seem to thrive on it.

-Yeah. Well, babies' tummies are all different.

-Well, this one's tummy is sure different.

It's always empty.

-Well, I never bottle-fed any of my babies.

I don't know what to do.

-Well, I'll tell ya. We'll try a little honey

and molasses dissolved in warm milk.

That might do it. But if it don't,

I got another idea.

Just see if Mrs. Reeder won't take charge of him.

-Jenny Reeder? -Yeah.

-She just had a baby last week.

-Why, of course.

-I figure she ought to be able to nurse him, too.

-[ Hums ] There she is!

-Well, what in thunder is that?

-Can't you see? It's a rockin' mule.

I done build one. -[ Laughs ]

-Oh, that's a shame. -I just went tither

and scissor, and I couldn't...

find but enough lumber for this here one.

But I'm gonna get them other two did.

Don't you fret. -Oh, good. Fine. Do that.

And while you're at it,

why don't you hustle up a side of beef?

They gotta eat, too. -Well, of course!

I'll get -- Doc!

Babies can't eat beef.

-Well if they can ride a rockin' mule, they can eat beef!

-Doc. Festus, do you know Miss Reeder?

-Jenny Reeder? Yes'm, I know her.

-Would you go and ask her to come and see us just as soon

as she feels like stoppin' by?

-Sure will, you... What you wanna see her for?

-Well, it's none of your business.

Do as you're told.

Get out of here and take that thing with ya!

-All right. I'll go.

I'll -- I'll take it down to Matthew's office,

and it'll be there when they get ready for it.

-Well, that'll be a week or two.

-What'll they play with till then, Doc?

-Their toes! Now take that thing

and get outta here, will ya?

-All right! I'm goin', grump-head!

♪

[ Laughter ]

-Mrs. Roniger? Bring number one in here.

I wanna check his belly band.

-He talks about these babies like they're horses.

[ Baby fussing ]

-Okay. All right.

-Kitty?

-Hey, Matt.

-How are the patients?

-Come take a look for yourself.

-By golly. They sure are tiny, aren't they?

-Yeah. Well, the way this one eats,

he's gonna grow up to be as big as you are.

Will you just...

-[ Baby fussing ]

[ Bottles clink ]

-Doc told me about the babies' father.

[ Sighs ] Hard to believe that these tiny little things

could be the sons of a man like that.

-Well, I'm afraid that's not the worst of it either, Kitty.

-I just get a telegram from the sheriff at Abilene.

He shot the man yesterday. Killed him.

-Are there any relatives?

-Nope.

The mother had a ticket from Denver to St. Louie.

And nobody at either end has ever heard of her,

knows anything about her.

-Well, that means they're orphans.

What's gonna happen to 'em?

-Let me tell you something.

Nobody is gonna send those babies to any orphanage

up in Topeka.

And I'll bet that you've made up your mind

about that along with everybody else, haven't you?

-Doc, I haven't made up my mind about anything.

It wouldn't make a difference if I had because I'm not the judge!

-Judge Blent gonna be here next week,

and he'll high-hand those babies right into Topeka, won't he?

-Well, I don't know.

But when you get right down to it, Doc, what else can he do?

-There! You see? You're just like everybody else.

I'll tell you what he could do! He could find a home for 'em.

-Doc, a judge doesn't go around finding homes for orphans.

Other people do that.

-Other people? All right. How about you?

-Well, now, that's not exactly in the category

of the United States Marshal's job either, is it?

-No. The sheriff of Abilene took care

of your two biggest problems in one squirt!

And you haven't got a second

to help me find a home for those babies?

Is that it?

-No, that's not it, Doc.

But it doesn't matter what you and I do anyway

because it's still gonna be up to the judge to decide.

-Matt, if we find a home for 'em,

he'd have to put 'em in it, wouldn't he?

-Well, I-I don't know.

It would depend on what kind of home it was and --

-Well, who would know better about that than you or me?

-Doc, you and I can't go around

knockin' on every door in Kansas.

-Maybe you can't. But, by thunder, I can,

and that's what I'm gonna do!

[ Fist knocks table ]

-Now, where are you gonna find the time to do that?

-You're the one that's too busy!

-He sure is worked up, Marshal.

-Yeah.

I've seen him like that before.

He'll calm down.

-All right. I don't think

you're gonna have any trouble with that.

It set real good. Good, clean break.

I'm kind of busy right now.

But that shouldn't bother you anyway.

You just have Clara bring you into Dodge,

and I'll have a look at it.

-[ Exhales ] Well, I sure do thank ya

until you're better paid, Doc.

-Well, I don't worry about being better paid from you, friend.

I guess you've heard about the triplets we got in Dodge.

-Yes. What's gonna happen to 'em, Doc?

-Sure would like to find a home for 'em.

-Will they be sent to an orphan asylum?

-I'm afraid so, until we find somebody that wants 'em.

How about you two?

-A readymade family, Clara.

-Oh, but three all at once... It wouldn't be fair.

How would we feed 'em?

We're havin' such hard times, Doc.

-Why, there's not a harder worker

or a better provider in the whole country than Fred.

That's why I asked ya.

-Could we take just one, doctor?

-No.

No, Clara. Whoever gets these babies

is gonna want 'em, all three of 'em.

-You want us to take those babies?

-Now, Judge Blent's gonna be back in town here in 3 days.

Now why don't you talk it over with Mary?

And if you like 'em, I think Doc and I can arrange it.

-Oh, Matt. Seein' how the mother's dead

and you had no idea who she was...

Father's a criminal, wanted all over, I, uh...

-Well, what's that got to do with it?

-Well, bad blood. -Bad blood?

-Yep. Those boys are born to grow up bad.

-Now, Henry, you know better than that.

-Matt, I spent a king's ransom on breed stock,

and I haven't got a long-horned cantankerous critter

on my place.

I breed right.

-But we're talking about three boys here.

-Sins of the father. I'm an expert on blood.

Those boys are born criminals.

-Henry, nobody's a born criminal.

-Well, that's your idea, Matt.

-That's right. And I'm an expert on that.

-Open up!

Oh, Rudy. Hi.

Good evening, Miss Kitty. You?

-Fine, fine, fine.

-Whew! She's been a hot one today, ain't she?

-How 'bout a beer, Festus?

-Golly, Bill!

It's hard to get ahead to orderin' a beer, Miss Kitty.

Much obliged, I believe I will.

-Well, I'm just tryin' to loosen up your tongue

so I can find out how come you're prowlin' around town

at this hour of the night.

-Oh, fiddle. I ain't a-prowlin' around.

I just -- just got done takin' Ms. Roniger home,

and I seen your lights on. So I just come in.

-You took Ms. Roniger home?

-Oh, she's comin' back tomorrow, Miss Kitty.

She's gonna take care of the babies while ol' Doc's in court.

-Everybody in Dodge is gonna be at that trial tomorrow.

-Yeah, there's gonna be some sparks all right.

-Well, I'll tell you this -- if that old Judge Blent tries

to bust up them three babies or sendin' 'em to a home,

there'll be sparks a plenty.

I'll guarantee ya that.

-Poor Doc.

-He's worked himself into a state, all right.

-Oh, scutter.

♪

[ Baby crying ]

-Yeah. Well, I might have known it to be you, all right.

-[ Fussing ]

-Well, you're dry as a bull. What's the matter with ya?

You know, I think... I think you just like to yell.

You know what I'm gonna do with you?

I'm gonna call you "Festus."

-[ Crying ]

Well, I didn't mean it, for heaven sakes, you don't...

[ Babies fussing ] -There.

Now you see what you've done? You've got everybody goin'.

[ Crying continues ]

-Think that's funny?

[ Crying continues ]

-Good heavens, you can't be hungry, can ya?

Well, of course you are!

Good gracious, well, certainly!

Go on and howl! Don't blame you at all.

You gotta howl once in a while, let folks know you're around.

You can do better than that.

I've heard one coyote put up a bigger howl than that.

[ Babies howling ]

That's better. Now, that's a lot better.

Let me hear it.

I'm gonna do a little yellin' myself, too,

once Judge Blent gets here tomorrow,

tries to cart you off to an orphanage.

I'll set up a howl that'll make him think he's in a sandstorm.

I'll -- I'll blow him clear into Indian territory,

you betcha.

[ Crying continues ]

♪

[ Indistinct conversations ]

-All right, folks. Let's make room for two more.

-Glory be.

-Tommy, how are ya?

Move over.

-Should be a very interesting case.

-They're comin' from all over to see this one.

-How are you? Should be a very interesting case.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

-Sit down here.

Sit down here. It's cooler by the door.

[ Indistinct conversations continue ]

-Everybody rise.

District court of the State of Kansas is now in session.

The honorable Judge Blent presiding.

Everybody come to order.

[ Conversations stop ]

-Save the time of the court,

and it looks like about everybody else

in this part of Kansas.

[ Laughter ]

-The court will first hear the case

of the three unnamed infants.

Now, since no one has come forth to claim these infants,

let the record show that the court

declares them its wards as dependent, neglected children.

-They're not neglected, your honor.

-The court knows that these children

have not been neglected.

And since there is a legal difference

between neglected and dependent children,

the reporter will strike the word "neglected"

and let the record show

that the children are dependent only.

Bailiff, swear Marshal Dillon.

-Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth,

and nothing but the truth, so help you God?

-I do. -Sit down, please.

-Now, Marshal, would you tell the court

what you know about the father of these three infants?

-Well, your honor, he was killed by the sheriff in Abilene.

At the time, he was wanted for a stagecoach robbery

outside of Dodge and, oh,

about a dozen other crimes that I know of.

Now, he had no known kin that I could find out about.

-Who told you that this man was the father of the children?

-The man that he was involved in the stagecoach robbery with.

I found him lying on the road. He was wounded,

and he told me just afore he died.

-He told you that the -- the mother

of the three infants and this man were married?

-Yes, sir, he did.

-Very well.

Let the record show that the father

of the three infants is deceased

and that they are therefore orphans.

You may step down, Marshal.

-These three infants are now the responsibility of the people

of the State of Kansas.

And according to law, this court must now commit them to the care

and the custody of the responsible officials

at the State Asylum for Orphans in Topeka.

-[ All murmuring ]

-Well, just a minute, judge, your honor.

Aren't you gonna listen to what anybody else has got

to say about this?

-Dr. Adams, the court is acting according to law.

-Well, I don't doubt that at all.

But isn't there somethin' else that you could do that

would still be according to law?

-There could be. The court will entertain

any suggestions that might be a legal alternative.

-Well, first thing I suggest is that you leave the babies right

where they are for a while.

-Court couldn't do that. -Well, I don't know why not.

You said they're wards of the court, the babies are,

and you're the court.

You're the same as the mother and a father to 'em.

You could do about anything you want to with 'em, can't you?

-No. The court must act according to law.

-Well, would it be against the law to leave 'em here?

-For what purpose?

-So we can find a home for 'em. -We?

Now, who do you mean by we?

-Well, I mean we, the people of the State of Kansas,

who you've said are responsible for them.

-You'll have to be more specific, Doctor.

-All right. I will be more specific.

I mean we, the people of the State of Kansas,

who've been takin' care of these babies

while we waited for you to get here.

-Now, there's another thing to consider here, Doctor.

The court cannot leave these infants in your custody,

because then you would be entitled to a fee

as a physician.

And to have orphans in the constant care of physicians

is more than the taxpayers of this state can afford.

-Let the record show that Dr. Adams says he won't

charge a dime for takin' care of the orphan triplets.

There, now, the taxpayers are protected...

[ Laughter ]

[ Gavel banging ] -Order.

Order in this court.

Dr. Adams, the court reminds you

that it is only because you're a professional man

that you're allowed to speak here at all.

Now, you're tolerated as a friend of the court.

So please act like one.

-Well, I'm actin' like a friend of the babies,

and I wish you would, too.

-That's the last remark

of that type that will be tolerated in this court.

I will stand for no more outbursts.

Now, do I make myself perfectly clear?

-Not quite! -Dr. Adams, this court

stands recessed for 10 minutes while you get a hold of yourself

and regain your professional demeanor.

[ Gavel clatters ]

[ Indistinct conversations ]

-You know, I can understand how you feel.

But, uh, I think you'd do a little better

if you'd kind of simmer down.

-How in thunder can I

simmer down when everything he says sets me on fire?

-Me, too.

-There, there. That's a good boy.

-[ Baby fussing ]

-Kitty, is it over?

-No. It might as well be.

-What happened?

-Well, judge made his ruling, and...

well, then he reared back and started talkin'

like he was gonna

send the babies to Topeka right then and there.

-Oh, no.

-Then Doc reared back.

And you can imagine how he reacted.

-Oh, yes, I can.

-And then the judge reacted, and, well,

they were like two old roosters.

-Oh, dear.

-[ Sighs ] About the nicest thing

I could say about those two

is that they just don't understand each other at all.

-Well, didn't the judge listen to Dr. Adams at all?

-Oh, he listened,

but, well, I think he's heard about all from Doc

that he wants to hear for one day.

And, 'sides, he's already made up his mind.

-My patience is worn a little thin with you, Dr. Adams.

However, this court

is still willing to listen to any reasonable argument

that you might have against sending these three infants

to the State Asylum for Orphans.

-Well, in the first place, judge, I just don't think

an orphanage is a proper place for a child to be raised.

It should be in a home.

Second place, if you send these babies to the orphanage,

they'll be adopted out separately, one at a time.

-Well, then they would be in homes.

Isn't that what you recommend?

-No.

No, these babies are brothers, you see?

They've -- they've got a right to be raised like brothers.

-Well, the court agrees with the humane aspects of your idea,

but for practical matters --

-Judge, why do we have to be so practical about this?

It just seems to me that somewhere in the state of Kansas

there's some impractical man and a wife

who'd want to take these three little babies

and raise 'em as their own

and love 'em like their own and let 'em grow up decently

and learn to love each other like brothers.

-Stay in the buggy, Doc.

-And I just think that these little orphans

from the Lord only knows what origins

deserve that chance.

-And who will find such a couple?

-Well, I'll -- I'll do my best.

-How would you go about it?

-Well, I'd see people.

I'd, uh, advertise in the papers

and Topeka and Leavenworth and Kansas City and Wichita.

I'd -- couldn't you do that, judge?

-The court has no funds for such a purpose.

-Well, no, I mean, couldn't youdo something?

-What are you getting at?

-Well, I mean, donate a little something.

-Doctor,

these orphans can't be supported by spontaneous charity.

-What in thunder would have

happened to these children in the first place

if it hadn't have been for spontaneous charity?

Is there a law against that?!

-Of course not,

and these people have done a commendable thing.

But it's time for the court and the law to step in

and start giving these infants constant and systematic care.

-Constant, systematic, and as sterile as a hybrid jenny mule.

[ Laughter ]

[ Gavel banging ] -Order. Order in this court.

[ Laughter dies down ]

-You have given me no alternative.

Now I must send these children to the asylum.

-Just -- just a minute, Judge, Your Honor.

Now, if you do rule that way, couldn't you -- couldn't you

just rule that they'd have to be adopted out all together?

Couldn't you do that?

-The law only allows that the court do what it sees best

for each child.

-So the court says that they have to go to Topeka

to the asylum, in the court's view,

and there's just no other way. Is that it?

-That's it. And, Doctor,

if you have any further comments to make to this court,

please confine them to the medical aspects of the case.

-All right. I will.

I forbid you to move 'em.

-That's a-tellin' him, Doc.

[ All clamoring ]

[ Gavel bangs ] -Order!

[ Clamoring dies down ]

-What did you say, Doctor?

-As their doctor, I forbid you to move these infants

two-thirds of the way across the state of Kansas

in their delicate condition.

-[ All clamoring ] [ Gavel bangs ]

-Doctor, competent people

will come here and take those three infants to Topeka.

-Well, you heard me. I forbid it.

-Competent people will come here and take those infants

by force, if necessary.

[ Crowd clamoring ]

-All right.

Let 'em come, Judge,

and whoever they are, they'll get a decent burial.

[ All shouting indistinctly ]

-Order in this court! [ Gavel bangs ]

One more outburst and I'll have this courtroom cleared.

Marshal, remove Dr. Adams and Mr. Haggen

from this courtroom.

[ Crowd clamoring ]

-Judge, I, uh, that's gonna be a little difficult for me.

-You obey it, or this is the last time

you'll serve this court.

-Judge, I'm afraid --

-Bailiff, remove Marshal Dillon, Dr. Adams,

and Mr. Haggen from this courtroom.

-That's just liable to take you

the biggest part of the day, too.

[ Clamoring resumes, gavel bangs ]

-Are they gonna fight? -Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

-Order! [ Gavel banging ]

Order in this court. Order! You shut up!

Order in this court! -Well, please, I apologize!

[ Clamoring stops ]

-What did you say?

-I apologize to the court.

-Very well.

In view of your apology,

the court withdraws its order for your removal.

Now, gentlemen, let's finish with this case.

Let the record show that the court orders the care

and the custody...

-Custody but not care.

-That the care and the custody of the three infants

be transferred to the responsible authorities

at the State Asylum for Orphans and --

-Judge, please, just a minute. Can I say somethin' else?

-I have warned you for the last time, Doctor.

Now, do you wish to address this court as a medical man?

-Yes.

-Very well. Proceed.

-As soon as you've done what you're just about to do,

I want to examine you to see if you've got a heart!

[ Laughter ]

-Order! [ Gavel banging ]

Order in this courtroom.

[ Laughter continues ]

-Order, order, order! [ Gavel banging ]

Dr. Adams, I find you in contempt of this court,

and I fine you $50!

And until you've paid the fine and purged yourself of contempt,

you're to remain in jail! Bailiff, take Dr. Adams!

[ All shouting indistinctly ]

-No, Judge, Your Honor!

[ Indistinct shouting continues ]

-No, Judge, Your Honor. Stop, please, now, wait!

-Who is this woman? -Judge, this is --

-You shut up!

-Judge, I want those babies.

-And who are you, madam?

-Ms. Will Roniger, your honor.

-Well, um, do you have any children?

[ Laughter ]

-He wants to know if Mrs. Roniger has any children!

[ Laughter ]

[ Gavel bangs ] -Order!

[ Laughter stops ]

I will rephrase the question, madam.

How many children do you have?

-We have 10, your honor.

[ Laughter ]

-10 children?

Well, aren't you being a little hasty?

-Oh, no, Judge. I wanted those babies

since the first minute I saw them.

-Well, uh...the court would have to do a lot of investigating

before it turned three infants

over to a family that already had 10 children.

-Judge, you couldn't find -- -You be quiet.

-Judge, may I say something?

-Proceed, Marshal.

-Well, I can give you my personal guarantee

that this court couldn't find a better home for these babies

than the Ronigers will give 'em.

-[ Crowd cheering ]

[ Whistling and clamoring ]

♪

-Get down, John.

-Whoa, oh.

-Mary, Constance.

Go on up there and help your ma fetch you our boys.

-Oh, everybody, wait till you see these babies.

They are the cutest things you ever saw in your life.

You all right there, Kitty? -I'm all right.

-Oh, good. Be careful now.

Oh, girls, come here and see this boy.

-Hi, Ma. -Let me come show you.

This one, isn't he the handsomest thing you ever saw?

[ Laughs ]

Oh, come on now. Oh, Will, isn't this wonderful?

It's all legal. They're adopted to us.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

-Let me have him. Come on.

-You got him? Isn't he a fine boy?

-Say, now.

Hey, ain't he somethin', huh, John?

Ain't he a dandy? [ Chuckles ]

By, golly, son, I'm gonna make a farmer out of you.

-There we go.

-Here, take him, Mother.

-Well, wait up! Wait up! Oh, whoa. Wait.

Ms. Roniger, I want you folks to take this here rockin' mule.

When them little fellers looks at it,

they'll get reminded of me.

-Why, thank you, Festus. -Yes.

-Much obliged, Festus.

-Thank you, Dr. Adams. -Mrs. Roniger.

-Thank all of you.

-Now, you sit down, children.

Hold onto them young'uns, huh? Git up.

-So long, Marshal! -Marshal!

-Bye, Doc! -Bye, Kitty!

-Bye, Festus! -Bye, Festus!

[ Wheels squeaking ]

-Bye, Festus. -Bye, Kitty!

-Now there's a wagonload of family, isn't it?

-Doc, how many triplets gets born, I mean,

out of all the babies that gets born.

-How in thunder would I know anything like that? I don't...

-Well, I just thought you might have read some figures on it.

That's all. -No, I haven't.

I just hope it don't happen to me again, not next week, anyway.

-The thing that's puzzlesome to me is

why folks that's done got 10 young'uns would want 3 more.

-Doc, you got any figures on that?

-No. As a matter of fact -- -I think I know.

Some people just have an unlimited capacity for love.

♪

♪

-Stay tuned for scenes from next week's "Gunsmoke."

♪