All language subtitles for American Dad s20e12 The Legend Of Mike Madonia.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,876 --> 00:00:02,419 [? mellow music playing] 2 00:00:02,420 --> 00:00:07,465 ? I had to put in a song and it goes like... ? 3 00:00:07,466 --> 00:00:09,050 ? Whoa-oh ? 4 00:00:09,051 --> 00:00:11,721 ? It's my week to host the Langley Garden Club ? 5 00:00:17,727 --> 00:00:19,310 ? Whoa-oh ? 6 00:00:19,311 --> 00:00:21,688 ? I would kill myself if I didn't have this club ? 7 00:00:21,689 --> 00:00:23,607 [? loud rock music playing] 8 00:00:27,403 --> 00:00:29,529 - [screams] - Ow! 9 00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:32,157 - Oh, mama! - You scared the hell out of me. 10 00:00:32,158 --> 00:00:36,369 Sorry! I was just gonna ask you to turn your music down. 11 00:00:36,370 --> 00:00:37,912 Why? 12 00:00:37,913 --> 00:00:41,542 I'm having my gardening club come over, if you must know. 13 00:00:42,126 --> 00:00:43,334 [music stops] 14 00:00:43,335 --> 00:00:46,629 A gardening club? I'm doing gardening right now! 15 00:00:46,630 --> 00:00:50,759 This, drinking beers and a lawnmower, is not gardening. 16 00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:52,762 It is if you're not a pussy. 17 00:00:54,180 --> 00:00:55,597 [indistinct chatter] 18 00:00:55,598 --> 00:00:58,683 Is that your club? They fancy. 19 00:00:58,684 --> 00:01:01,644 [angrily] Don't worry about it! 20 00:01:01,645 --> 00:01:04,481 Please, Francine, stay away from my garden club. 21 00:01:04,482 --> 00:01:07,025 I've never asked you for anything before. 22 00:01:07,026 --> 00:01:09,611 You just asked me to turn my music down. 23 00:01:09,612 --> 00:01:11,197 Just leave my club alone! 24 00:01:12,740 --> 00:01:16,075 [groans] I didn't roll out in time. 25 00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:18,162 [? theme song playing] 26 00:01:18,829 --> 00:01:21,706 ? Good morning, USA ? 27 00:01:21,707 --> 00:01:25,168 ? I got a feeling that it's gonna be a wonderful day ? 28 00:01:25,169 --> 00:01:28,171 ? The sun in the sky has a smile on his face ? 29 00:01:28,172 --> 00:01:32,092 ? And he's shining a salute to the American race ? 30 00:01:34,678 --> 00:01:37,847 ? Oh, boy, it's swell to say ? 31 00:01:37,848 --> 00:01:40,308 ? Good morning, USA ? 32 00:01:40,309 --> 00:01:41,602 [Roger] Ah! 33 00:01:43,187 --> 00:01:45,648 {\an8}[chorus] ? Good morning, USA ? 34 00:01:48,609 --> 00:01:50,401 {\an8}[siren wailing on TV] 35 00:01:50,402 --> 00:01:51,528 {\an8}[TV turns off] 36 00:01:51,529 --> 00:01:52,821 {\an8}What's cracking, guys? 37 00:01:52,822 --> 00:01:55,114 {\an8}We can't agree on anything to watch on Netflix, 38 00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:57,534 {\an8}mostly because everyone's ideas are dog shit. 39 00:01:57,535 --> 00:02:00,161 {\an8}Says the girl who wanted to watch Air Bud. 40 00:02:00,162 --> 00:02:04,290 {\an8}- You love Air Bud! - I love Air Bud 3: World Pup. 41 00:02:04,291 --> 00:02:06,084 {\an8}I'm a Beethoven man myself. 42 00:02:06,085 --> 00:02:08,545 {\an8}[groans] Are you done, Stan? 43 00:02:08,546 --> 00:02:10,880 {\an8}Anyway. Sounds like you guys are in a rut. 44 00:02:10,881 --> 00:02:14,384 {\an8}When I'm in a rut, I like to do a little tea-bagging. 45 00:02:14,385 --> 00:02:17,428 {\an8}- Ew, Klaus! - Not traditional teabagging. 46 00:02:17,429 --> 00:02:21,599 {\an8}I'm talking about the inspirational quotes on my teabag tags. 47 00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:22,892 {\an8}Let's see what this one says. 48 00:02:22,893 --> 00:02:25,186 {\an8}"The power of positivity. 49 00:02:25,187 --> 00:02:28,439 {\an8}Everything in the world began with a 'Yes'." 50 00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:33,279 {\an8}Oh, so good. I shouldn't have shared it. Don't do that one. 51 00:02:33,280 --> 00:02:36,573 {\an8}Maybe we need a good tea-bagging. 52 00:02:36,574 --> 00:02:38,616 {\an8}I mean, being negative isn't getting us anywhere. 53 00:02:38,617 --> 00:02:44,163 {\an8}I say we try being positive and saying yes to everything starting now. 54 00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:45,248 {\an8}- I guess. - Fine. 55 00:02:45,249 --> 00:02:47,250 {\an8}- Tea-bag me. - Not one of you said yes. 56 00:02:47,251 --> 00:02:49,252 {\an8}? Yes ? 57 00:02:49,253 --> 00:02:52,755 {\an8}Can you guys believe Tuttle has a gardening club? 58 00:02:52,756 --> 00:02:54,382 {\an8}- Yes! - Go, Tuttle! 59 00:02:54,383 --> 00:02:56,217 {\an8}- Great news! - [air horn blares] 60 00:02:56,218 --> 00:02:59,137 {\an8}I'm surprised I even care, but as soon as he said 61 00:02:59,138 --> 00:03:02,140 {\an8}I couldn't be part of it, it's all I can think about. 62 00:03:02,141 --> 00:03:03,266 {\an8}[groans] 63 00:03:03,267 --> 00:03:05,643 {\an8}Look who it [bleep] is. 64 00:03:05,644 --> 00:03:10,565 {\an8}Clowns on parade. Looking... well, pretty good. 65 00:03:10,566 --> 00:03:13,693 {\an8}[gasps] Is she wearing a scarf as a belt? 66 00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:16,654 {\an8}And she's wearing a belt as a scarf? 67 00:03:16,655 --> 00:03:19,240 {\an8}Oh, I gotta get in this club! 68 00:03:19,241 --> 00:03:20,366 {\an8}Why are you still here? 69 00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:22,160 {\an8}- Yes! - Get over there, Mom! 70 00:03:22,161 --> 00:03:23,453 {\an8}[air horn blares] 71 00:03:23,454 --> 00:03:26,623 {\an8}- That's pretty loud. - Yes! 72 00:03:26,624 --> 00:03:29,918 Excuse me? Garden people, wait up! 73 00:03:29,919 --> 00:03:30,969 Whoa! 74 00:03:34,006 --> 00:03:36,842 [whistles] Whoa! Lady, with her titty out. 75 00:03:37,671 --> 00:03:41,721 {\an8}Are you in Tuttle's Garden Club? 76 00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:44,474 {\an8}Who? This is the Langley Falls Garden Club. 77 00:03:44,475 --> 00:03:46,935 {\an8}- It's run by the city. - So anyone can join? 78 00:03:46,936 --> 00:03:49,687 {\an8}Anyone with 40 bucks and a garden, I guess. 79 00:03:49,688 --> 00:03:52,231 You apply online with a photo of your garden. 80 00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:53,816 Great! 81 00:03:53,817 --> 00:03:55,902 But word to the wise, make sure your garden looks good. 82 00:03:55,903 --> 00:03:58,404 They're a tough audience. You ever seen Mean Girls? 83 00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:02,825 Well, they hate that movie. And that movie is awesome! 84 00:04:02,826 --> 00:04:05,662 I need a ride to Home Depot. Who wants to drive me? 85 00:04:05,663 --> 00:04:08,414 - I think Klaus should drive. - What? Why? 86 00:04:08,415 --> 00:04:09,707 [all] Yes! 87 00:04:09,708 --> 00:04:12,962 Oh, man. I really tea-bagged myself this time. 88 00:04:15,005 --> 00:04:17,256 And we're here for light bulbs? 89 00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:19,550 No, flower bulbs! 90 00:04:19,551 --> 00:04:22,011 Dang, spicy burgs! 91 00:04:22,012 --> 00:04:23,137 - Who's in? - In. 92 00:04:23,138 --> 00:04:25,515 - Oh, yeah. - I'm not really into spice. 93 00:04:25,516 --> 00:04:27,017 Maybe I'll try a bite. 94 00:04:27,685 --> 00:04:29,435 And then eat the rest! 95 00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:33,272 I don't think I've seen one Home Depot employee since we walked in. 96 00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:35,692 Oh, they've hidden themselves throughout the store. 97 00:04:35,693 --> 00:04:37,694 They hate helping customers. 98 00:04:37,695 --> 00:04:40,447 [both giggling and shushing] 99 00:04:42,032 --> 00:04:43,951 - He's cute. - Put it in the cart. 100 00:04:46,578 --> 00:04:47,788 Put it in the cart. 101 00:04:48,831 --> 00:04:50,248 Put it in the cart. 102 00:04:50,249 --> 00:04:51,541 [grunts] 103 00:04:51,542 --> 00:04:54,585 [Roger] Can I get some goddang help in aisle 16? 104 00:04:54,586 --> 00:04:56,129 [Klaus] Hey, Roger. 105 00:04:56,130 --> 00:04:59,298 Mike Madonia. Like "begonia," but I don't smell like one. 106 00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:00,466 [laughs] 107 00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:02,677 I work in manure. I'm The Rototiller Man. 108 00:05:02,678 --> 00:05:04,303 Rototiller Man? 109 00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:06,889 You mean like a guy who turns the dirt over 110 00:05:06,890 --> 00:05:10,018 - so you can plant stuff? - Turn the dirt over? 111 00:05:10,019 --> 00:05:11,728 Oh, yeah, I guess that's exactly it. 112 00:05:11,729 --> 00:05:14,063 But I go deeper than anyone in the business. 113 00:05:14,064 --> 00:05:17,650 Most only go eight to ten inches deep before they turn it over, 114 00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:19,610 but I go 16 inches. 115 00:05:19,611 --> 00:05:22,740 And then, and only then, do I turn it over. 116 00:05:23,907 --> 00:05:26,617 {\an8}- Um, no, thanks. - [Roger] Just in case. 117 00:05:26,618 --> 00:05:28,077 {\an8}Just in case. 118 00:05:28,078 --> 00:05:31,915 Just in case. Just in case. Just in case. 119 00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:37,378 Saying yes to things fricking rules. 120 00:05:37,379 --> 00:05:40,631 We're relaxing in the sun, eating spicy burgers. 121 00:05:40,632 --> 00:05:45,053 All on a porch that can be snapped together in less than 90 minutes. 122 00:05:45,054 --> 00:05:47,430 You know, I could live on a porch like this. 123 00:05:47,431 --> 00:05:49,390 Hey, who wants to live on this porch? 124 00:05:49,391 --> 00:05:50,433 - Me. - I do. 125 00:05:50,434 --> 00:05:52,352 Ugh. So spicy. 126 00:05:54,188 --> 00:05:56,939 -"Mike Madonia?" - [Roger] Just in case. 127 00:05:56,940 --> 00:06:00,777 Klaus, where should I put this? I'm thinking middle. 128 00:06:00,778 --> 00:06:02,738 Yeah, no duh in the middle. 129 00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:04,114 [grunts] 130 00:06:05,616 --> 00:06:06,950 [camera shutter clicks] 131 00:06:10,496 --> 00:06:13,414 I will be notified? But when? 132 00:06:13,415 --> 00:06:15,459 - [message alert plays] - Oh, right now. 133 00:06:17,461 --> 00:06:19,212 I'm so happy for you! 134 00:06:19,213 --> 00:06:23,509 {\an8}Now let's reward ourselves with a sneak peek at Steve's browser history. 135 00:06:24,551 --> 00:06:25,969 [both] Ugh! 136 00:06:27,375 --> 00:06:29,597 [message alert plays] 137 00:06:29,598 --> 00:06:31,849 Oh, there's something new in my inbox. 138 00:06:31,850 --> 00:06:34,978 Now all I need is something poo in my outbox. 139 00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:37,856 {\an8}[suspenseful music plays] 140 00:06:38,941 --> 00:06:41,902 Bathroom computer time officially ruined. 141 00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:46,489 - Great party, am I right? - That's pretty. 142 00:06:46,490 --> 00:06:47,532 [Francine laughs] 143 00:06:47,533 --> 00:06:49,117 [? dramatic music plays] 144 00:06:49,118 --> 00:06:50,868 Hey, Tuttle, check it out. 145 00:06:50,869 --> 00:06:52,955 ? You can find me in da club ? 146 00:06:53,705 --> 00:06:55,665 What the hell are you doing? 147 00:06:55,666 --> 00:06:58,042 Looks like Cherry Street's got two competitors 148 00:06:58,043 --> 00:07:00,962 in the Home Depot Garden Competition this year, Al. 149 00:07:00,963 --> 00:07:03,966 [chuckles] Yeah, I don't think so. 150 00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:09,011 You see this twig, Francine? This twig is me. 151 00:07:09,012 --> 00:07:13,391 And you're bending me. Keep bending and I'm gonna snap. 152 00:07:13,392 --> 00:07:15,726 Al, what are you doing to that twig, you weirdo? 153 00:07:15,727 --> 00:07:19,438 Hey, Sandy said you might enter the Home Depot Competition? 154 00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:23,401 Get this, it's hosted by Kyra Sedgwick this year! 155 00:07:23,402 --> 00:07:26,779 The winner gets a plaque and a $1,000 Home Depot gift card. 156 00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:30,491 Ooh, I could do a lot back here with $1,000. 157 00:07:30,492 --> 00:07:32,869 No, this isn't a garden! 158 00:07:32,870 --> 00:07:35,454 It's a football goose and a sunflower. 159 00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:39,750 We would be a laughingstock if this... this thing, 160 00:07:39,751 --> 00:07:41,919 this abomination was even entered! 161 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:45,798 This club has standards! Scones! 162 00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:47,842 Scones at my house. 163 00:07:47,843 --> 00:07:50,553 [all chanting] Scones! 164 00:07:50,554 --> 00:07:54,557 These ladies love scones, but you'll never know that. 165 00:07:54,558 --> 00:07:58,811 But now I do know that. 166 00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:01,481 You almost made me forget my twig. 167 00:08:05,194 --> 00:08:07,987 All I wanted to do was be part of the club, 168 00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:10,823 and Tuttle made me look like a fool! 169 00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:12,491 - [grunts] - Aww. 170 00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:16,120 Don't roundhouse the goose. He's an innocent. 171 00:08:16,121 --> 00:08:17,171 Klaus, look. 172 00:08:18,707 --> 00:08:21,083 Roger's a gardening genius this week! 173 00:08:21,084 --> 00:08:25,129 If he can save my garden, I can win the Home Depot competition 174 00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:27,089 and put Tuttle in his place. 175 00:08:27,090 --> 00:08:30,092 Are you sure you want to involve a Roger persona? 176 00:08:30,093 --> 00:08:31,928 I have to. I mean, 177 00:08:31,929 --> 00:08:34,263 they left me for scones, Klaus. 178 00:08:34,264 --> 00:08:39,185 Ugh, the the worst pastry of all, so dry. 179 00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:41,729 - [line ringing] - [cell phone ringing] 180 00:08:41,730 --> 00:08:43,606 [Roger] God damn it! Where's my phone? 181 00:08:43,607 --> 00:08:45,191 - [clattering] - Argh! My [bleep] foot! 182 00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:48,986 Son of a bitch! What in the world did I step on, a Bugle? 183 00:08:48,987 --> 00:08:50,363 [munching] 184 00:08:50,364 --> 00:08:53,115 Oh. I'll be, it's an old Bugle. My phone ringing? 185 00:08:53,116 --> 00:08:54,283 [Francine and Klaus] Yes. 186 00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:56,619 Oh, hey, guys. Who you calling, Francine? 187 00:08:56,620 --> 00:08:58,746 She's calling Rototiller Man. 188 00:08:58,747 --> 00:09:00,999 Oh, Mike Madonia? Be right down. 189 00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:03,919 [tiller engine revving] 190 00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:11,718 Get on! Get on! Get on! I can't stop this thing! 191 00:09:12,521 --> 00:09:17,265 Hey, babe, have you seen my dad or Steve lately? 192 00:09:17,266 --> 00:09:19,141 They went inside to use the bathroom, 193 00:09:19,142 --> 00:09:21,936 but I think customers keep asking them for help. 194 00:09:21,937 --> 00:09:25,065 And they keep saying yes. Nice. 195 00:09:36,285 --> 00:09:38,327 Roger, slow down! We're here! 196 00:09:38,328 --> 00:09:39,746 [engine revs] 197 00:09:39,747 --> 00:09:44,333 I like to really hammer the accelerator in the lumber section. 198 00:09:44,334 --> 00:09:46,085 Smoke out all the rats. 199 00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:49,171 {\an8}[all coughing] 200 00:09:49,172 --> 00:09:51,716 Plus, we're not going to regular Home Depot. 201 00:09:51,717 --> 00:09:55,261 We're going into the secret section that only professionals can get into. 202 00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:58,098 Aisle nine and three quarters. 203 00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:03,811 Roger, this isn't an aisle. We're out in the woods. 204 00:10:03,812 --> 00:10:07,023 Yeah, that was a nearly impossible-to-get Harry Potter joke. 205 00:10:07,024 --> 00:10:08,399 I was just trying to prepare you 206 00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:11,736 for the magical nature of what you're about to see. 207 00:10:11,737 --> 00:10:13,321 - Feed me! - Eat me! 208 00:10:13,322 --> 00:10:16,365 Hey, isn't that the plant from that musical? 209 00:10:16,366 --> 00:10:18,784 Yeah, but we don't mess with anything back here, 210 00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:20,287 except the lady selling worms. 211 00:10:20,288 --> 00:10:24,206 {\an8}Hey, Madonia, what can I do you for? 212 00:10:24,207 --> 00:10:28,628 {\an8}Let's get a stack of Delaware Diggers and a case of West Texas Jumbos. 213 00:10:32,424 --> 00:10:34,967 So how come you like worms so much? 214 00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:37,720 Well, sometimes I worry that one of the worms 215 00:10:37,721 --> 00:10:42,016 crawled in my ear and is now controlling my brain. [chuckles] 216 00:10:42,017 --> 00:10:44,060 [robotically] But that did not happen. 217 00:10:44,061 --> 00:10:47,189 Worms are cool and control nothing. 218 00:10:50,692 --> 00:10:53,652 You're taking the guard off? You sure that's safe? 219 00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:56,364 I'm sure it's unsafe, but you know what they say, 220 00:10:56,365 --> 00:10:58,699 "Safety last, deepness first." 221 00:10:58,700 --> 00:11:01,243 It's also how the world's largest rototiller is. 222 00:11:01,244 --> 00:11:03,245 Actually, I'm thinking about upgrading. 223 00:11:03,246 --> 00:11:06,707 - [Francine] Wow. Big. - Yeah. World's largest. 224 00:11:06,708 --> 00:11:10,753 I'm gonna go check it out as soon as I'm done here fixing your life. 225 00:11:10,754 --> 00:11:12,839 [? loud rock music playing] 226 00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:23,350 ? Steal away ? 227 00:11:24,101 --> 00:11:25,352 [screaming] 228 00:11:29,272 --> 00:11:31,233 ? The weakest one ? 229 00:11:32,442 --> 00:11:34,194 [? rock music continues] 230 00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:36,412 Snap. 231 00:11:43,495 --> 00:11:45,246 Mr. Madonia! 232 00:11:45,247 --> 00:11:48,916 I thought you'd be on your way to see that big-ass rototiller by now. 233 00:11:48,917 --> 00:11:51,961 I am. But I wanted to swing by and give you this first. 234 00:11:51,962 --> 00:11:55,089 Just a little something for good luck in the competition tomorrow. 235 00:11:55,090 --> 00:11:58,092 For me? I feel like I owe you. 236 00:11:58,093 --> 00:12:01,971 Oh, you do. You owe me $67,000. 237 00:12:01,972 --> 00:12:03,722 What? Let me see that. 238 00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:06,475 Kidding. This is just a blank piece of paper I found. 239 00:12:06,476 --> 00:12:08,228 I'll find a use for it. 240 00:12:09,521 --> 00:12:11,772 Oh, please open the gift immediately. 241 00:12:11,773 --> 00:12:13,274 It's a live animal 242 00:12:13,275 --> 00:12:15,401 I had professionally gift-wrapped at the mall yesterday. 243 00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:16,486 Oh, my! 244 00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:18,738 [honking] 245 00:12:19,781 --> 00:12:21,241 Ooh, he fancy. 246 00:12:25,036 --> 00:12:26,246 Where'd he go? 247 00:12:27,456 --> 00:12:29,458 [Roger] I told you I'd find a use for it. 248 00:12:31,697 --> 00:12:33,836 Francine, come quick! 249 00:12:33,837 --> 00:12:34,879 Your garden! 250 00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:36,965 [engine revving] 251 00:12:39,009 --> 00:12:40,176 [brakes screech] 252 00:12:40,177 --> 00:12:43,263 Good luck in the competition tomorrow, Franny. 253 00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:51,061 This is bad. We should just kill ourselves in the woods. 254 00:12:51,062 --> 00:12:52,772 The woods! 255 00:12:52,773 --> 00:12:55,399 {\an8}Francine, I was only kidding. 256 00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:58,403 {\an8}At least you still got the goose! 257 00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:00,988 {\an8}[goose honks] 258 00:13:00,989 --> 00:13:03,450 {\an8}[groans] He got the goose. 259 00:13:07,954 --> 00:13:09,788 - Mom? - No time! 260 00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:11,957 She must have seen our deal on flooring. 261 00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:15,836 My fingers are pure callus from cutting keys all day. 262 00:13:15,837 --> 00:13:17,171 Well, not to one-up you, 263 00:13:17,172 --> 00:13:19,131 but I basically cut off my hand on the table saw. 264 00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:21,300 Luckily, there was a staple gun nearby. 265 00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:23,553 You win this round, Dad. 266 00:13:26,973 --> 00:13:28,057 What is this crap? 267 00:13:28,058 --> 00:13:30,226 It's steroid fertilizer 268 00:13:30,227 --> 00:13:33,313 from the black market section of Home Depot. 269 00:13:34,606 --> 00:13:36,106 Whoa. 270 00:13:36,107 --> 00:13:39,568 - This seems like cheating, Francine. - You can say that again. 271 00:13:39,569 --> 00:13:42,405 But not when the judges are here, okay? 272 00:13:44,991 --> 00:13:46,493 [honking] 273 00:13:47,577 --> 00:13:50,956 Hurray! Our fancy-ass goose is back. 274 00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:52,915 Great. [sighs] 275 00:13:52,916 --> 00:13:56,336 Let's catch some z's before the competition starts. 276 00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:03,343 [rumbling] 277 00:14:03,885 --> 00:14:05,011 [exclaims] 278 00:14:06,596 --> 00:14:08,390 [loud belch] 279 00:14:15,689 --> 00:14:17,064 [cup shatters] 280 00:14:17,065 --> 00:14:18,191 Klaus! 281 00:14:20,986 --> 00:14:24,072 Maybe we went too heavy on the fertilizer. 282 00:14:26,658 --> 00:14:29,159 Um... Klaus, your tail. 283 00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:31,454 {\an8}- [gasps] - Do you feel okay? 284 00:14:32,289 --> 00:14:33,831 Oh, ho-ho! 285 00:14:33,832 --> 00:14:37,459 I feel juicy as hell. Let me get a quick snap for Danuta. 286 00:14:37,460 --> 00:14:39,920 She's gonna wanna see my beedonk. 287 00:14:39,921 --> 00:14:41,298 [camera shutter clicks] 288 00:14:43,008 --> 00:14:46,510 I don't know, Klaus. Something feels very wrong. 289 00:14:46,511 --> 00:14:48,554 I mean, look at the big hole! 290 00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:52,474 Maybe it is a little bigger, but I guess it had to be. 291 00:14:52,475 --> 00:14:53,726 [camera shutter clicks] 292 00:14:53,727 --> 00:14:56,437 Memphis Stormfront here with Kyra Sedgwick, 293 00:14:56,438 --> 00:14:59,481 kicking off the Home Depot Garden competition. 294 00:14:59,482 --> 00:15:01,650 {\an8}Kyra, you're an amazing actress, 295 00:15:01,651 --> 00:15:03,527 {\an8}so you must get asked this a lot. 296 00:15:03,528 --> 00:15:05,988 {\an8}Where's your more-famous husband? 297 00:15:05,989 --> 00:15:07,448 {\an8}He's right there. 298 00:15:07,449 --> 00:15:08,949 [strumming guitar] 299 00:15:08,950 --> 00:15:11,952 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! That's Kevin Bacon! 300 00:15:11,953 --> 00:15:13,245 Yeah, I know. 301 00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:15,247 Should I go over to him, or would that be weird? 302 00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:17,166 - That'd be weird. - Because he's so private. 303 00:15:17,167 --> 00:15:20,502 Because we're on live TV and this is a garden competition that I'm hosting. 304 00:15:20,503 --> 00:15:23,505 I'm sorry. Opportunities like this, they just don't... 305 00:15:23,506 --> 00:15:24,673 [rumbling] 306 00:15:24,674 --> 00:15:27,260 Oh, my God, my heart's beating so fast! 307 00:15:28,678 --> 00:15:32,514 - [roars] - [people screaming] 308 00:15:32,515 --> 00:15:36,518 Graboids. That's what the worms in the movie Tremors are called. 309 00:15:36,519 --> 00:15:37,936 [grunts] 310 00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:40,648 These monsters respond to loud noises and vibrations! 311 00:15:40,649 --> 00:15:43,525 Everyone on their roofs! Like in the movie Tremors! 312 00:15:43,526 --> 00:15:45,527 [woman] But I haven't seen that movie! 313 00:15:45,528 --> 00:15:49,031 Oh, God, I hadn't even considered that possibility. 314 00:15:49,032 --> 00:15:50,532 [? dramatic music playing] 315 00:15:50,533 --> 00:15:53,494 [all screaming] 316 00:15:53,495 --> 00:15:57,623 {\an8}For anybody out there who hasn't seen the movie Tremors, it's on Pluto TV. 317 00:15:57,624 --> 00:16:00,626 {\an8}Now I'll warn you, there are some ads, but it's worth it. 318 00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:04,657 {\an8}It's the only movie I've ever been in that teaches you how to get on a roof! 319 00:16:05,548 --> 00:16:08,050 - [screams] - Kevin! 320 00:16:08,051 --> 00:16:10,387 Where? Did he come out of the car? 321 00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:17,726 Oh, it's working, Klaus. 322 00:16:17,727 --> 00:16:20,479 Everyone got Kevin Bacon's final message. 323 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:25,275 Speaking of final message, I think Danuta was eaten by one of your mutant worms 324 00:16:25,276 --> 00:16:27,695 because she left my beedonk pic on read. 325 00:16:27,696 --> 00:16:30,615 Oh, no, what if I sent her to heaven horny? 326 00:16:33,702 --> 00:16:36,495 [leaf blower revs] 327 00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:40,374 Tuttle! Cut the noise and get on your roof! 328 00:16:40,375 --> 00:16:44,671 Beat it, debris! I've got a garden competition to win! 329 00:16:46,423 --> 00:16:51,386 Kablooey! I'm blowing the competition away. L-O-L! 330 00:16:55,223 --> 00:16:56,849 We gotta save Tuttle. 331 00:16:56,850 --> 00:17:00,769 There's no use being a hero, Francine. Danuta is already dead. 332 00:17:00,770 --> 00:17:03,064 [? adventurous music playing] 333 00:17:05,567 --> 00:17:08,445 Help! My neighbor's gone crazy. 334 00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:16,327 - What the heck was that? - Quiet! 335 00:17:17,162 --> 00:17:19,079 You saved me. 336 00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:21,248 {\an8}Shut up! No one is saved yet. 337 00:17:21,249 --> 00:17:23,751 Those things are attracted to noise and vibrations! 338 00:17:23,752 --> 00:17:24,960 A-ha! 339 00:17:24,961 --> 00:17:27,755 Then we're gonna Pied Piper these mothers! 340 00:17:27,756 --> 00:17:31,426 [yelling loudly] 341 00:17:34,596 --> 00:17:36,139 [engine revving] 342 00:17:48,860 --> 00:17:50,111 [tires squealing] 343 00:17:51,738 --> 00:17:54,574 - It's working. - Great! Now what? 344 00:17:58,912 --> 00:18:02,539 Lucky I knew what I wanted. Some jerk knocked down your menu sign. 345 00:18:02,540 --> 00:18:03,749 [cell phone ringing] 346 00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:05,209 Go for Madonia. 347 00:18:05,210 --> 00:18:08,670 Mike, you remember that giant rototiller you showed me? 348 00:18:08,671 --> 00:18:11,381 Why? Has it already been reported stolen? 349 00:18:11,382 --> 00:18:15,302 Oh, you're the best! Rototill your ass to Chimdale! 350 00:18:15,303 --> 00:18:17,764 I've got a huge job for ya! 351 00:18:19,766 --> 00:18:20,816 [Roger] Just in case. 352 00:18:23,603 --> 00:18:25,271 [engine revving] 353 00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:35,657 It's Mike Madonia! Lead the worms into the rototiller blades! 354 00:18:35,949 --> 00:18:37,826 [growling] 355 00:18:39,577 --> 00:18:42,663 {\an8}- Tuttle, what are you doing? - I'm gonna jump it. 356 00:18:42,664 --> 00:18:44,832 You can't jump that thing. 357 00:18:44,833 --> 00:18:46,626 - Sure I can. - [Klaus] Whoa! 358 00:18:56,928 --> 00:18:58,805 [worms screeching] 359 00:19:01,307 --> 00:19:04,686 I did it! Mike Madonia saved the day- 360 00:19:04,687 --> 00:19:06,270 [tires screech] 361 00:19:06,271 --> 00:19:08,355 - What were those things? - Things? 362 00:19:08,356 --> 00:19:11,191 Al, those worms were your fault. 363 00:19:11,192 --> 00:19:12,693 - They were? - Yes. 364 00:19:12,694 --> 00:19:15,404 You wanted to keep me out of your club so bad 365 00:19:15,405 --> 00:19:18,907 that I had to use mutant fertilizer to get back at you. 366 00:19:18,908 --> 00:19:20,576 Well, that tracks. 367 00:19:20,577 --> 00:19:24,913 It's just, the ladies in the club, they like me. 368 00:19:24,914 --> 00:19:26,915 They call me Cool Al. 369 00:19:26,916 --> 00:19:29,751 I knew if you joined, you'd tell them the truth. 370 00:19:29,752 --> 00:19:33,255 That tracks. I am a very truthful person. 371 00:19:33,256 --> 00:19:36,466 But the truth is, you are cool. 372 00:19:36,467 --> 00:19:39,345 And I can call you cool... No. 373 00:19:39,971 --> 00:19:43,308 What if I call you Big Al? 374 00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:45,225 I'd like that. 375 00:19:45,226 --> 00:19:47,603 {\an8}Guys, Danuta replied to my butt selfie. 376 00:19:47,604 --> 00:19:51,524 She said she's reporting me to Boost Mobile! 377 00:19:51,983 --> 00:19:54,360 The game begins. 378 00:19:56,696 --> 00:20:00,532 - Kyra, I am so sorry for your loss. - [sobbing] Thank you. 379 00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:04,286 But I can't let you leave without awarding the plaque to someone. 380 00:20:04,287 --> 00:20:05,621 Is this is a joke? 381 00:20:05,622 --> 00:20:09,417 It's not, no. You gotta do it. Them's the rules. 382 00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:13,253 Here. 383 00:20:13,254 --> 00:20:18,216 Oh, sick. Check it out, guys. Our positivity paid off. 384 00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:20,386 Oh. Don't forget the gift card. 385 00:20:20,929 --> 00:20:22,512 [tearfully] Here. 386 00:20:22,513 --> 00:20:25,182 Hey, you're that actress who married Kevin Bacon. What's he like? 387 00:20:25,183 --> 00:20:28,686 [sobbing] He's... He's dead! 388 00:20:31,356 --> 00:20:32,856 {\an8}Well, what was he like? 389 00:20:33,942 --> 00:20:35,610 {\an8}[brakes squeaking] 390 00:20:35,902 --> 00:20:37,861 {\an8}[sobbing] 391 00:20:37,862 --> 00:20:39,739 {\an8}- Hey, babe. - [gasps] 392 00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:43,742 {\an8}- Kev, you're alive? - Hell, yeah. 393 00:20:43,743 --> 00:20:46,828 {\an8}Our love is too strong for some monstrous killer worm. 394 00:20:46,829 --> 00:20:49,665 {\an8}Oh, honey, I'm so glad you're back. 395 00:20:49,666 --> 00:20:51,896 {\an8}You're never getting rid of me, babe. 396 00:20:54,629 --> 00:20:55,838 {\an8}[screaming] 397 00:20:55,888 --> 00:21:00,438 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 30198

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