All language subtitles for The.Mistress.1E04

Ripped By mstoll

Max, you know the problems.
We'll sort it out.

I know you're a married man,
you have a wife.

I'm in a corner, a dark corner.
We mustn't be found.

Supposing I want a child, Luke?
Well, I might, mightn't I?

I just might.
How are we going to sort that out?'

Hello, the time is
one minute to eight o'clock

and we have the main news
following this message.

Have you got tired skin?
You need Schumara.

Cup of tea, darling?

Thank you, darling.

When you're over 25,
you need gentle skincare

and I've found the very thing.

It's soft and creamy,
and it's kind to tired skin.

Brings back the life in your life.

Want to know my secret?

- Schumara.
- Schumara.

How could I go through
my life not knowing that?

Hang on, I'm coming.

Hello, Jen.

Good morning, Max.
I've brought your pink sweater back.

Coffee?

Er, yes, just a quick one.

- You alright?
- Hmm.

What are you going to do
on your day off?

Oh, I don't know.

Hadn't thought about it.

Not that I ever see Luke
on a Saturday, anyway.

Saturday is the day that he sits
in his car outside the supermarket

and waits for his wife to emerge
with a box of groceries.

Hey, come on,
do you really want that?

No, but when you get that you get
other things, like breakfast together,

honest open breakfasts, not the kind
we have, all tense and alert.

Even when we have it
in a hotel bedroom,

he puts his dark glasses on in case

he catches sight of himself
in the mirror.

It must be difficult loving two people.

Separate demands, separate houses,
rushing from one to the other.

A bit like being a sheepdog,

except if he gets his sheep
in the same pen, he's in real trouble.

Schumara.

What?

Schumara.
It's the answer to life.

You put this stuff
on your face at night

and in the morning
a man brings you a cup of tea.

Ooh, Jen!

My life seems to be filled
with a sense of doom.

It's a strain when they're married.

Perhaps if you...

Well, perhaps if you tried to,
you know,

find someone else.

I know you love him, I know that.

Well, if you know that, Jen,

then finding someone else isn't
exactly the natural thing to do.

Then don't find someone,
just let him go.

Why should I let him go?

Because he belongs to someone else.

You know, Jen, when you're
trying to sort your life out,

the perfectly obvious
doesn't occur to you.

Ooop, time I went and
opened your shop, I think.

Yes, you do that, thanks.

- Bruce loved your sweater.
- Oh, good.

- I didn't tell him it was yours.
- No, quite right.

I'll go then.

- Bye.
- Yes. Bye

Thanks, Jen.

Max!

- Max.
- Don't 'Max' me.

What have I done?

Nothing, nothing, you've done nothing,
that's what you've done!

So how come I'm in trouble
if I've done nothing?

Well, when two people have made love,

they usually do something,

like talk, like touch,
like stay awake.

I'm tired, that's all.

You're always tired.

I'm not always tired.

Ooh, do you think I haven't noticed

your sneaky yawns behind
your hand, beneath the bedclothes?

You go to any lengths
to have a sneaky yawn.

I've even noticed
you looking for something

you haven't even dropped
to have a sneaky yawn!

You've forgotten one important fact,
of course, it's midnight!

I mean, I'm not alone,
the world is full of people yawning.

All we've done is make love.
It's a simple human activity.

And you fall back onto the bed

like a rhinoceros
in the last throws of its life!

Do you know why we yawn?
It's bedtime, it's the end of the day.

Well, I only ever see
you at bedtime, don't I?

That's another exaggeration,
another accusation.

- I see you often. I see you...
- When?

In the day, at lunchtime.

Oh, you mean when you beep
outside my shop

as you tear
through the town like a fire engine?

We go for walks,
yes, we often go for walks.

We don't go for walks,
we go for creeps.

I do my best, I...

People who rob banks
are more relaxed than we are!

I do my best.
I'm a married man, it's not easy.

Ooh, you keep saying that -
It's not easy.

Why should it be easy?!

You're the only person
I know who eats all his cake

and ends up with
more than he started with.

Yes, I have a great time!

I wake up in the morning and phone you,

while Helen's grinding the coffee,
to keep you happy.

Then I rush past your shop

in my lunch hour to
beep my horn, to keep you happy.

Then I dash home to Helen to eat
Helen's dinner, to keep Helen happy.

Then I come over to you to eat
your supper, to keep you happy.

Then we make love...
to keep both of us happy.

And then, somewhere
in the middle of the night,

I dash back home again

and find Helen sitting there
wearing something silk.

And you're complaining because I yawn!

I want you to go, Luke.

- Go?
- Yes.

Yes, you'll find it in
the dictionary under the letter G.

- Come on, Max.
- No, it's no good, Luke.

I think what I probably need is
a husband, not a lover.

Somebody who is mine,

somebody who will
make me feel exclusive.

You see - you see,

I keep giving you the opportunity
of saying the right thing

and you just stand there saying nothing.

We're back to that word again.

I do nothing, I say nothing.

Perhaps I'm dead!

But when I say that
what I need is a husband,

you should say something.

What, what can I say?
I'm already a husband.

Well, you should say

what I've got is better,
what we've got is more exciting.

And when I say that I want
somebody who is mine,

you should say,
'I am yours, I am yours! '

I'm not good at this game.

Well, there's no point in playing it
then, is there?

Go, Luke.

- I'm not going to plead.
- No.

- I'll just go.
- Yes.

I'm warning you.

Must that woman come in so early?
She's closing in on me, I tell you.

Really, Luke, you're
so difficult this morning.

I'm not difficult,
I'm just a man in mortal fear

of spending his weekend off
in a Hoover bag.

The house has to be cleaned.

It's due to various things,
like a daily delivery of dust,

and the implantation of
a resident male bulldozer,

who, in a feverish hunt
for his underpants,

which are always in the same draw,

manages to bring about
the total collapse of the building.

Thought so, it's me.
Everything's me!

I must learn to cope
with the knowledge

that I am responsible for all
the dilemmas in the entire universe.

Oh, you see,
you're totally unreasoned.

You take everything I say
and blow it up

into an enormous neurotic balloon.

I will not tolerate being slowly
eased out of my home

by a Filipino pushing a Hoover.

You know, darling, I really think
you ought to go and see Dr Taylor.

After all, if I'm trying to
have a baby with you in this state,

it will be so nervous and fidgety

I'll need a goalkeeper
at the birth, not a doctor.

What do you mean,
trying to have a baby?

Aren't you on the pill?

No.

Since when?

Since we talked about it
the other day.

You didn't tell me.

I didn't want to worry you.

You didn't want to worry me?!

Well, I know you're not keen
on having a child,

and I didn't want you to be
in a position

where you're knowingly
contributing towards something

you're not keen on.

So you wanted me to do it
without my knowing.

Yes.

Until it happened.
Then I was going to tell you.

Oh, how nice!

'I saw the lorry coming, darling,
but I didn't want to worry you,

so I waited until it run over you! '

- Excuse me.
- What is it, Jo?

Do you... er, have book check,
yes, on writing place?

A cheque book, yes.

Mr Carpenter has a cheque book
on the desk.

The wire, it comes over.

Book check on floor.

And it's gone up the Hoover?
Yes, I understand, Jo.

Well, don't worry. We'll get it out
later along with all the other things.

Erm, leave the carpets for now
and do the bedrooms.

It's bad?

It's very bad, yes.

What's wrong, Luke?

- What's wrong with us?
- I don't know.

You're, you're a glass case.
I can see you but I can't touch you.

Oh, I'm just worn out, that's all.

Well, I can't think why.
I mean, you don't do anything

particularly extraordinary
with your life, do you?

No, no, I don't.

I mean, yourjob's not
exactly energetic, is it?

No, it isn't.

You don't have things
like painting, gardening, repairing.

Well, you have them
but you don't do them.

I agree, I agree.

You know sometimes
I worry about losing you.

Losing me?

Well, you read, don't you,
about these men of 40

who just suddenly die in the middle
of doing something physical.

You know, like running for the bus.

Well, I have my car, haven't I?

- Perhaps if we went on a holiday.
- No.

No, holiday isn't the answer.

- Well, what then?
- What then?

Are you tired of me?

No, no.

- Bored?
- No.

Had it all worked out, didn't we?

'No children', we said,

'then we'll be able to give
everything we have to each other.'

Only now there isn't much left to give

and no one to give what's left to.

Can we go on, do you think?

Yes, we can go on.

- How?
- How?

Well, the way we always have.

I think I'll go and get a newspaper.

I don't know why
you cancelled the papers.

Now you have to go down
for one every Saturday.

Oh, it gives me something to do.

Oh, darling, I'd like to get to
the supermarket early today.

Yes, yes, I'm ready.

You needn't bother
if you're not in the mood.

I can get someone else
to carry the boxes.

No, no, it's alright, I'll do it.

And we'll get your paper on the way.

No, I'll go down first for that.

Why, darling? That's two journeys.

Keeps me fit.

Oh, yes.

Well, chaps, you'll be glad to know
that I'm letting him go.

You know that male human person
that used to come here,

the one that hates you both,

especially when you were on the table.

Well.

To the end of an era.

- Hello.
- Max.

Oh, it's you.

Look, can we talk?

I expect we could if we'd had
enough time together to practise.

Come on, Max, not all that again.
When can I see you?

You can't, Luke.

Look, this is all the change
I've got, so listen...

No, Luke, I've already told you.

I'm tired of our shabby relationship.

I'm tired of waiting for that phone to
ring just to hear the immortal words,

'Something's just cropped up.'

Something's always cropping up, Luke,

and it was never me.

I've told you, give it time.

But I haven't got that much time.

Look! I got up this morning with the
intention of moving you out of my life.

Then I got a big rubbish bag and
I went on a memory tour of the house.

Do you know,
there's nothing of you here.

Nothing, not a thing!

Not a toothbrush, not a tie,

not a single piece of evidence to
suggest that we even know each other.

Oh, there are two photographs -

there's one of me
and there's one of you.

We couldn't have them
taken together, of course.

And they were hidden
in an envelope in a book,

on a bookshelf and
written instructions on the envelope.

Would you like to hear?

No, I wouldn't like to hear.

It's a note for Maxine.

'Should you feel
that your death is imminent,

please make sure you destroy this
before you actually expire.

Lf, however, you should be
in the position

where you can't leave your bed,
then set fire to the entire building

thus eliminating all evidence
including yourself.'

So you see, Luke,

apart from going to bed,
we didn't really have much, did we?

So if you don't mind, I'm going to
wait for a man who will be proud of me.

A man who will be
able to walk with me,

who will have breakfast with me,

who will buy me gold lockets

and spend a whole Sunday with me.

For God's sake, be careful, Bernard,
you'll break the eggs.

I don't know why you buy eggs.
I hate eggs.

Yes, well, you're not the only one
in the house, are you, Bernard?

I know you think you are,

but the fact is, Bernard,
you're not unique.

I don't know why you don't get
this stuff in during the week.

I'm not a weightlifter, Bernard.

I could always go on
a course of steroids.

Then I wouldn't need you at all,
would I?

There's another box yet.

I'm already late for the golf course.
You'll have to drop me off.

Yes, I'll drop you off,
in time for the cricket,

and I'll pick you up again
in time for the football.

As I've said before,
there are other people in the house,

but one must get our priorities right.

It's Bernard first,
and then when we've seen to Bernard,

it's Bernard again.

Don't take it out on the car, Bernard.

Luke!

I'm ready.

If I'd have known about this,
I'd have married a bloody mule.

Oh, darling, I must get some flowers
for the weekend.

Alright, Helen.

'I expect you'll be
having lunch together now...

...and so it goes on.'

- Hello.
- Max.

I've got a few minutes
while Helen puts the car away.

Luke, go away.

- Hello.
- It's now I need you.

I can't get the top off
the bloody marmalade!

Oh, God!

Oh, why did I that?
Oh, I've never done that before.

Oh, phone him at home.

Oh, God, I'm so pathetic.

Oh, why am I so pathetic?

You see how pathetic I am?

I'm just pathetic!

Max, I'm coming round.

- When?
- First thing, remember you said

you want a man
who brings you gold lockets

and spends a whole Sunday with you.

- Oh, Luke.
- I've missed you so much.

I wish you were here now.

I will be, honey, I will be.

- How?
- I don't know. I'll think of how.

- Breakfast?
- Breakfast. I must go.

Of course you must go.

Ah! Ah, chaps!

It's alright, it's alright.

We're all going to be
having breakfast together soon.

Try not to use the cat tray

while we're in
the middle of it, alright?

Morning.

Morning.

Something went wrong with the toast.

It'll be alright when it gets
a coat of marmalade on it.

Thank you, darling.

- Am I eating alone?
- No, I'm here.

What I mean is, aren't you
having breakfast with me?

Oh, well, I'll have a cup of coffee,
thank you.

Well, here we are then.

Our guarantee might have run out
but we're still in working order.

I haven't been fishing for a long time.

You don't like fishing.

Well, I haven't really tried, have I?

You went last summer with Simon.

You brought back two live trout
and you wouldn't let me kill them.

Well, I expected them
to slip away naturally.

They were trying, Luke.

I couldn't stand all that gasping.

All you had to do was hit them
on the head.

You turned them loose in the bath.

Dear Luke, off you went all on
your own back to the river.

A man dedicated to the preservation
of a slippery little life,

instead of the satisfaction
of his stomach.

I'll always love you for that.

I'll throw them back this time.

Alright, we'll go fishing.

- I, er, was...
- No, you made my breakfast.

It's my turn to please you.

16 years.

16 years?

Happy anniversary, darling.

Oh, you had forgotten.

I thought all this was...

Oh, yes, it was!
I thought you'd forgotten.

Would I?

No.

Darling, your present's downstairs
in the sideboard cupboard.

Thank you, yours is, er...

...in the car.

Oh, go and get it, darling.
Go on, I can't wait.

Yes.

Darling... where shall we go today?

Oh, I'll think of something, er,
somewhere.

Darling...

I think we're going to be alright,
don't you?

There's been a kind of distance,

especially lately, I...

I've spent weeks now just hoping.

I'm so glad you remembered today.

Hoping's such a lonely thing.

I'll just get dressed.

There you are!

Back into my life again.

Ripped By mstoll