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Original subtitles

Downloaded from YTS.MX

"Sharknado" just blew up Twitter.

It just turned it-- took it to another level.

Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX

It’s happening again.

Trending number one.

And then, like, 15 minutes go by,

and it’s still number one.

You guys.

8 of the top 10 trending topics

had something to do with "Sharknado."

Oh, crap!

Obviously this is a viral pop-culture hit.

An American cultural phenomenon.

We’re gonna need a bigger chopper.

I kept seeing celebrity after celebrity tweeting about it.

I don’t think anybody could have expected it to take off the way it has.

It was wildly successful.

Why--It was-- It was a sharknado.

90-some-odd minutes of popcorn-eating fun.

I think everyone in the world

has heard about "Sharknado."

Let’s go kill some sharks!

This is a fun thing to watch.

It’s like a roller-coaster movie.

Athletes are watching it.

Other movie stars are watching it.

It has become basically pop-culture communication.

It’s cheesy done just right.

We were producing a film at the time called "Shark Storm,"

and we, uh, pitched the idea to Syfy,

and Syfy basically said, "Hey, we have this idea.

We have a title that would go perfect with your plot of ’Shark Storm,’"

and that, um, title was "Sharknado."

And we thought, "That’s a great title."

I mean, every time that Syfy gets involved,

it always, you know, basically means

there’s a lot more effort around it,

a lot more attention to it.

It’s a bigger budget, becomes a bigger thing,

and so we always really enjoy when Syfy comes to play.

To find a--the director for "Sharknado,"

that’s, um--that was a real difficult process.

Because you hand out a script called "Sharknado" to the industry,

and they, uh, send it back like it’s chum.

The script itself is a fun script.

Uh, people couldn’t get past the first page.

And it really came down to looking at Anthony Ferrante,

who we’ve known for about 20 years.

He was so invested in this thing.

As we’re, you know, traveling along,

trying to find different directors,

he’s storyboarding. He’s breaking it down.

He’s really making a big commitment creatively

into making this film something phenomenal.

So at the end of the day, I think we wore them down over at Syfy,

and Anthony is just very enthusiastic, very charming guy, too,

and I know that he probably warmed their hearts,

and we were able to, um, convince them

that Anthony was the right person for the job.

My understanding is, is that before Anthony Ferrante was hired to direct,

direct the "Sharknado" that we know and love,

that there was a completely finished version of "Sharknado"

directed by a man named David Moore.

Uh...

I wouldn’t say that there were--

I wouldn’t say there’s a completed, um, movie.

"Sharknado" is a very complicated, uh, film,

and, you know, there were these pieces that,

uh, you know, are--

We do this from time to time,

where we would shoot, um,

uh, scenes before we shoot.

From what I understand, this was--

this had a completely full cast.

Zack Ward was in this film.

Um, Rachel True was in this film.

Did you-- Did you talk to them?

I have not spoken to them... Okay. Okay.

but this is what I understand,

is they were in a comple-- they had filmed...

Uh-huh. and been wrapped out.

The whole thing was complete.

It wasn’t like that at all. That’s fine.

Let’s just talk about David then for a second.

David Moore was a partner at your company.

Well, I wouldn’t say he’s a partner.

My understanding is that he was a part of your company.

He was a partner in your company.

You know, I’m just-- I’m a little bit--

I’m a little off-kilter, ’cause you submitted some questions,

and this is going a little bit off--

I understand that. Marie!

You obviously have some great questions,

and I want to answer all--Marie!

We wanna answer all of them.

Are you telling me that you don’t know who David Moore is?

But let me just review them first.

Why don’t you just email me the question--

Can you just tell me, is there really a completed film?

...all your questions. I just want to--

But I just want to make sure that I have--

Is there an actual movie, "Sharknado," that--

MAN, WHISPERING: Hey. Psst!

Up here. Hey.

Hey.

Hi. Hi.

You wanna know David?

I would--I would love--

I would love to talk to you about David Moore.

I know David.

You wanna see him? I do.

I absolutely--- Please, can you--

If you know anything about David, I would love--

love to just do an interview with you or something.

Follow me.

Come on. Okay.

Okay. Let’s go.

Let’s follow him. Come on.

Up. Up.

He’s over here.

He--He’s upstairs?

Yes. It says, "Employee only."

You’re an employee now, okay?

Sorry.

Be careful. Watch yourself.

Come on.

Okay.

This is David.

You are the caretaker now.

Thank you.

I was. You are.

Okay. Okay.

Thank you. Yes.

I should...

I’ve opened the Pandora’s box on "Sharknado."

Somewhere in these dusty tapes,

these dusty moments

exist the truth in David Moore’s life.

Who was he,

and what drove him to such a tragic end?

As I’ve looked through the hours of footage,

one thing has become incredibly clear to me.

David was more than just a filmmaker.

He was an artist.

He was somebody who wanted nothing more in the world

than to create the greatest movie in history,

a movie called "Sharknado."

I heard online-- Now, there’s a lot of urban legends

going on about "Sharknado,"

but I heard that this is actually true,

that before we filmed the original "Sharknado,"

that there was a movie that was produced,

kind of like "Poltergeist," that a lot of people died.

There was a lot of bad luck.

It was a difficult childhood.

When David was a child, his father left us,

because he-- he didn’t understand

that David’s strangeness was genius.

He wasn’t like other children.

And so I figured that, you know,

it must be because he was brilliant

that I--I just didn’t understand what he was about

and why he did what he did.

And as he got older, I thought,

you know, he’s just really, really smart.

He’s very artistic.

I’m so proud of him.

What’s up, guys?

Big exciting day.

That’s why I’ve had you here to join me.

Today is the first day of preproduction

of the masterpiece

soon to be known as "Sharknado."

So what I want you guys to do is follow me around

as we embark on this mission of creativity,

of art, of passion, of sharks,

of emotional journeys.

It’s gonna get real.

It’s gonna hurt. It’s gonna be painful,

but you don’t stop rolling.

When the tears start coming, you keep it going!

If I get mad, you stay with me.

If I tell you not to film

and turn the red button off,

you don’t turn it off.

You keep it on. You keep it rolling.

It’s about the heart and what you feel

from the gut, from the diaphragm

and the spleen

and the limbic system.

We’re shooting it on film,

frames, celluloid,

not this digital crap that you see.

I don’t want to see anything fake,

so if you start seeing something that’s fake, you cut.

But you don’t cut that camera.

You cut this camera.

We’re gonna make this movie!

And we’re doing it!

My name’s David Moore.

I was born in film, and I’m gonna die in film.

MAN: The thing is, David, we don’t--

He’s not married, so it doesn’t make any sense

for the sharks to have taken his wife.

"Sharks? I hate sharks.

"Sharks killed my...

sister?"

Okay, let me-- I’m gonna act it.

I hate sharks! Sharks killed my sister,

and that’s why I hate sharks!

Okay. You know, I just--

Do you want me to write that or n-not?

I got it.

Um, I guess it could be, uh,

maybe his mother, uh, his aunt.

I don’t...

David?

David.

Uh, David.

David--Oh, oh, oh!

Cold! Very cold!

W-What are you doing?

In order to write a masterpiece about sharks,

you have to be in the ocean to really feel it.

So what I want you to do is connect with the water.

Connect with Mother Nature.

Write, writer. Okay.

Okay, so not a wife, not a sister.

Mm. That’s it.

Okay.

"They took my grandfather.

That’s why I hate sharks."

Do you like it?

Do I like it?

I love it!

Yeah?

Grandfather! Yeah?

That is perfect! Okay!

Yes! We did it! All right. Okay.

We don’t even need this anymore!

I put this on my lapto-- What?!

This is gonna be amazing.

This is going to be the best movie ever made!

That was my laptop, David.

I imagine that this is, you know,

what it’s like when you’re dealing with a genius,

where they’re just also speaking just a different language.

Literally, e-everything I ever wrote was-- was on that laptop.

Working with David was...

different?

I think after, like, the first--

you know, the first couple of days,

and I, uh, knew that this would...

be a unique experience.

David’s not what I would call collaborative.

He had a vision of what he,

you know, thought this was gonna be.

All right. Hey, Tom.

Hey, Latt? You guys there?

Yeah, we’re here.

I know you have some concerns

about the draft that I turned in,

and I just wanted to address them

and kind of find out what--what the problem is,

Because I keep hearing conflicting things.

Well, I--I know what the problem is,

and I told you this, that you wrote it out.

You didn’t type it. It was in long form.

You know, well, there’s that,

but the worst trouble, Latt,

the movie’s called "Sharknado,"

but no sharks show up until page 65.

Come on, guys.

Tom, it’s about the characters, okay?

We have to care about them.

We can’t just get right into this...

schlocky shark thing--

Yes, yes. We need to care about the characters, for sure, definitely,

but we need sharks.

Do you want to lose all the viewers

in the first five minutes?

Tom, hold on just a second.

So, I mean, this is what we talked about.

They’re in the genre business.

We’re in the genre business, too.

You know this. I mean, all the films we’ve made.

I’m an artist, Mr. Latt.

Okay, all right. David--

Let me get him back. Okay.

All right. Hey, Tom, sorry about that.

All right, so can we speak about some other issues?

I’m looking at the script, and I just don’t get

why you guys have Fin speaking French for the first 12 pages.

That is because Fin is a cultured character.

He has spent time in Paris and Milan.

But he’s supposed to be a surfer.

You can’t surf in any of those places!

Hold on just a second.

He’s fighting sharks in a tornado.

That’s it.

We need to wrap this up.

But that’s--Okay.

All right, sorry, Tom.

Okay, listen. I’m-- I’m just gonna say this.

If you guys wanna make a movie that is going to speak

to the children of the world and their families,

then that’s the movie I’m here to make.

Latt, Latt, Latt, Latt!

Can you pick up, please? Yep.

Hey, Tom.

Yeah.

It would just-- We could just--

It could just be this one film.

Um, all right.

Got it. All right.

Okay. Bye.

Uh, he had to go rush to a meeting.

When did the corporate world affect you so much?

What happened to the little boy

that used to paint and play and create and have imagination?

What happened to that boy?!

You’re gonna direct this film.

Of course I’m gonna direct this film.

Okay. Who else would direct this film?

It will change everything.

I don’t need it to change anything.

Your life, my life...

Don’t need it to do that.

this company’s life.

N-Not at all. Don’t need it.

This office--

I just want this to be a fun film

that people could watch, okay?

You’re not seeing the big picture.

Maybe not, but we’re gonna make sure

that you get what we need to get.

You know, we’re not gonna let this thing go--go crazy.

We’re gonna support your vision.

Thank you. Thank you for trusting my vision.

All right, all right. Thank you.

Okay.

All right. All right. Good, good, good.

You’re a good man. Yeah. All right.

Y-You can go now.

Look at that. It’s all good.

There’s a shark on your desk. Yep. Yep.

That’s a symbol.

Yes, yes, that’s my shark.

I’ll just grab-- Okay, thank you.

Okay. Yeah.

You have a great day, sir.

You, too.

Fucking kill myself, Christ.

David’s enthusiasm was infectious,

even if his methods were unconventional.

But isn’t that where true genius is found?

It takes a real artist to forage the wilds of the human psyche

in order to make it safe for the rest of us.

Sometimes I’m the samurai.

Shing!

Shing!

You can’t take this from me.

When I become that, it gives me strength.

Thank you. Hyah!

Don’t mind the additional camera gentlemen here.

Hey. We are making a little documentary.

Oh.

Because this is going to be a masterpiece.

What you’re auditioning for,

Yeah. "Sharknado,"

nothing like this has ever been done

in the history of cinema.

You’re making me nervous.

Okay, right.

Shake it off. Shake it off. Shake it off.

I need to shake it off.

Whenever you’re ready.

Look out! It’s a shark--

No.

Okay, yeah.

Let me give you a little backstory here.

Thank you.

So you’re walking down the street,

coming out from a really tough night.

You just didn’t get any sleep,

a-and you’re out of it.

And all of a sudden,

you hear this disruptance in the universe,

and you feel it, and you look up,

and then that’s when you see it in the clouds.

Feel the pain. Use your technique.

Okay. Okay?

Let me hear that.

Okay. Ahem.

Look out! It’s a sharknado!

I hate sharks.

They took my granddaddy.

That’s why I hate sharks.

Blah-blah-blah- blah-blah-blah...

He’s nice. He’s very dramatic.

Let’s try something else.

Right.

You’re a little girl.

You walk in.

You didn’t do your homework,

and your mom’s mad at you.

Then you see her

your math teacher

in the butt.

Use that.

Try that!

Breathe. Breathe.

Look out! It’s a sharknado!

Have you ever seen "Apocalypse Now"?

I hate sharks.

They ate my grandfather--

I need more! Oh.

I need more! More.

Well, David Moore kind of directed me

to do everything my acting teachers told me not to.

I’ll tell the shark, okay. Let--One more time. Okay.

He just kept having me do it over and over and over again.

I hate sharks.

They took my granddaddy.

That’s why I hate sharks.

I hate sharks.

They took my granddaddy.

That’s why I hate sharks.

I felt like I was

just doing it kind of the same.

I hate sharks.

They took my granddaddy.

That’s why I hate sharks.

Mm!

I think it went pretty well.

Okay, throw the damn line away, okay?

Oh, okay. Huh. Okay. Okay.

I want you to use it from your heart!

It’s different.

High-five.

Whisper it. Say it to me.

Sharknado. Sharknado.

Sharknado. L-Look out.

It’s a sharknado. Look out.

I feel like I gave him a few different choices.

I hate sharks!

They took my grandfather,

and that’s why I hate them!

I hate sharks! Make it yours.

They...

took my grandfather.

Don’t get Shakespearean.

This is a movie.

Sharks,

they took my grandfather,

and that’s why I hate them.

Look out. Look out.

It’s a sharknado. It’s a sharknado.

Look out. Look out.

It’s a sharknado. It’s a sharknado.

Shark ate...

An interesting choice. You know, I was--

But the wrong choice. I was gonna go with my instincts, okay.

Look out! It’s a sharknado! Look out.

Look out! It’s a sharknado! Sharknado!

BOTH: Look out! It’s a sharknado!

Look out! It’s a sharknado!

The thing I think that’s exciting

about David’s vision is it’s all his own.

I hate sharks!

They took my grandfather!

I’m looking forward to deciphering his vision.

They took my grandfather,

and that’s why I hate them.

That was good.

Thank you.

The paper.

You’ve got the part.

But he gave me the job, so I’m so excited.

I’m gonna call my agent right now.

Here’s looking at you.

Nice to meet you. When do we start?

Maybe I’ll get eaten by a shark coming out of a tornado,

’cause it could happen, so...

Okay.

David. There he is.

Hey. Zack.

Pleasure to meet you.

I-I’ve been looking forward.

Look at you in the person.

Yeah. In the flesh.

Let’s put this down. You brought some...

Options, you know.

You’re the leading man...

I--Yeah, I’m excited.

of a very important production.

I didn’t really read the script myself,

but my agent has talked to me about how great this is...

Sure. and that, um,

there’s a...

I do apologize for the cameras.

We’re kind of documenting this whole process.

Yeah. Hi. I’m Zack. Nice to meet you guys.

Get a shot of this,

because this is an iconic moment.

We have the man...

Meeting nature.

and the nature.

I feel like there’s a lot of--

especially a lot of my acting style,

my personality trait, I believe,

comes through in, uh, the color of my skin.

’Cause it changes very much depending upon my situation.

Because I’m almost transparent.

Like if I’m upset about something,

I get red in different areas or splotchy,

and it’s--it’s almost like a chameleon.

Now, when dealing with, uh, sharks in particular--

Yeah, my freckles will just--Pow. It’s pop.

Now we need some wardrobe that kind of...

Okay. I brought a box.

Let’s see what you brought. Let’s take a look.

Can check this out. Let’s take a look.

For some reason, this hair for me

sort of talks to me about the character.

It’s a very interesting choice.

Hold on. I’m not gonna look until you put it on.

Hey.

Oh, ho ho ho ho. Eh?

"Hey, I was in ’The Perfect Storm.’

Hey, shark, say hello to your mother for me."

That’s Mark Wahlberg.

You know, let me see the hat,

something that the shark can wrassle with.

Right, okay. So going with the-- Okay, with what you’re saying...

Okay, because it’s...

A little bit more emotionally available.

And then this, again, right here.

I’m a feminist. I live in Los Feliz,

and I’m growing my facial hair

to look like I ride a bicycle in the 1920s.

Interesting that you took it there.

Okay, so now I’m thinking about you writing a book.

I feel like I could write a book with this on.

What kind of book would you write?

Or is Fin a little bit like,

"I just got out of ’Sons of Anarchy’ on my motorcycles,

and I’m--I drive a Harley-Davidson."

Plural motorcycles? Yeah, I could--

I could have more than one. Of course.

This is beautiful craftsmanship.

Thank you. You know what? This--

Hey, shark. Hmm.

What I like about this is that this is

not the hero that we want.

This is a hero we need.

Okay.

What I want you to do

from here on out... Yeah.

is think, eat,

sleep, and sharks.

’Cause you’re one of the greats. Yep.

Mental image of the shark. I have locked it in.

This is Matilda.

I haven’t told anyone that yet,

but she’s a dear friend.

There will be tales of this moment.

There is right now, right here.

And I’m glad it’s being captured.

Welcome aboard the ship!

Thank you, sir.

I’ll talk to you soon.

Farewell!

All right.

You shark.

The greatest films in history

have all been deliberately crafted

during each step of the filmmaking process,

but some say it’s in preproduction

where a film truly succeeds or fails.

No general can win the war

without a very detailed and well-structured battle plan.

This is one of the most important scenes in the film.

And I say, "Film," not, "Movie," intentionally.

Walking down the street.

Imagine a busy street.

There’s people. There’s cars.

All of a sudden, you hear something.

Crashing thunder, lightning!

Then you look up.

What do you see? What is that?

Something’s coming out,

emerging from the cloud.

Is it an illusion, or is it real?

David is definitely

the most...

creative director I’ve ever worked with.

And what is it?

Boom! A giant shark coming from the skies,

attacking you!

I was hired to write a film called "Sharknado,"

and I think--think I had an expectation of what it would be like,

and then I think the experience

is a little different than, uh, what I was expecting.

And it’s a hammerhead!

Wheesh! And the sharks are coming!

You’re fighting back,

but you’re not sure what to do!

Hold the shark! Hold the shark!

It’s coming down! Okay.

I mean, if he, uh--

you know, if he can bring the...

passion that he’s got going on back there

and make--get that out of the actors,

then I think we’ll definitely have...

something.

Let me see fear. Show me fear.

More passion!

Passion! Show me!

It’s an experience.

Ho. Now hold. Hold! Hold!

Angle.

What is going on?

Storyboarding.

I don’t know that I’ve ever seen...

three-dimensional storyboards.

This is my process.

Okay. I create color.

Three-dimensional compressed into two

so you can see it,

so you can experience it.

Will there be 2-D storyboards?

Right here,

and whenever you want to see them,

just look me in my eyes.

Your bit is writing.

My bit, directing.

I bring that to life,

animate, color,

not black and white.

I’m not bitless.

Their job--

P.A., your bit is to help me with my vision.

I need you to trust me.

Do you trust me? Sure.

With your life?

Yes?

That’s why we’re gonna make a great team, writer.

Daniel.

Okay, Daniel, writer.

Now if you’ll excuse me,

I need to get back to work-slash-creating.

Next scene!

You’ve injured the shark.

Its fin is bloody,

and it’s down on the ground,

and you’re not sure.

It’s twitching.

I have heard some rumors. You know,

not that many people talk about the, uh--

the previous "Sharknado" film.

You know, I know I hear some pretty, uh,

bad things may or may not have happened.

Okay, Mr. Chin, I’m very excited to talk to you,

because I haven’t found anybody

who would speak to me about this project.

Now, the way I understand it

is you were the director of photography

on David Moore’s "Sharknado."

You’ve got a good, long career

doing very creative projects,

very visually stunning projects,

which is why he hired you,

but I need to find out what happened on this film.

Because I cannot find anyone

who was actually on the production, who’ll speak to me,

so I’m very excited about this.

Please just in your own words

tell me what happened on "Sharknado."

Um...

Can you tell me in-- in English what happened?

Do you speak any English at all?

Any English? A little--

I-I’m so sorry.

I’m so sorry. This is not gonna--

We have to find a--a translator.

I’m so sorry. I--

Okay.

This is not working, guys. Okay, let’s just--

let’s just cut that. That’s not working.

I cannot work with the amount of money

that you’re giving me to make a masterpiece.

If you want a piece of shit movie, Latt, I’m not the guy.

David, this is the most money we’ve ever spent on a movie.

I appreciate you. What a find!

Oh. Are you working out?

I would sell my body.

Would you like to buy my body?

No, but Latt might.

That’s a great moustache, might I add?

Little Hitler, but I like it.

It’s Charlie-- It’s Chaplin.

It’s Chaplin! You told me it was Chaplin!

I thought you were kidding

when you said you were gonna do that.

It’s a movie about sharks in tornadoes,

so I commissioned UCLA

to make a 30-foot-tall cylinder

where we’re gonna put the actors...

in an actual sharknado.

David, we have-- we have visual effects.

Joe and--and those--

We’ll get it in the visual effects.

Listen. Just film that.

Please, please?

David. Yep?

No, this one. Got it.

I just need you to make a great movie.

We believe in you.

Excuse me. Don’t--I--

Just--Just turn the cameras off!

Oh, my God.

We can’t do this.

What happened to him?

Hey, there he is.

Hi.

Well, we are together.

We are like one.

I have a question. Sure.

Uh, I haven’t met anybody here yet,

like, so I would love to get to know who everybody is.

That is a fantastic idea. Okay.

Why don’t we start with you?

All right. Uh, hi, everybody.

Uh, my name’s Zack Ward.

I am playing the lead character in the film, Fin.

My name is James. I’m a P.A.

I’m Julie McCullough.

Uh, I’m one of the lead actresses,

along with Ms. Rachel.

I’m Rachel True, and, um,

I’m not showing my breasts.

We made that clear in the contract, right?

This is Hollywood.

Shh.

Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise,

Joe Actor together.

Now you.

I know your dad was a real douche bag

and he was mean

and he may have done all sorts of things

that we’re not gonna talk about

right now in front of everybody.

Great things. Great things.

Chin, everything you do in life is a piece of art,

and it’s time for you to capture that.

To wrap this up,

it has been a great time together.

I know we didn’t really get too much

into the actual story itself, but that’s okay.

RACHEL: He’s leaving?

What? You’re so awesome.

Is there, like, a rehearsal scheduled?

I need to call my agent.

Shit!

What the f--

Ohh!

Jesus Christ, man! Ha!

Scared the living crap out of me, man.

How’d you even get up here?

Mom, why’d you let these guys in here?!

I know I told you that it was cool and all to come up here

and, you know, just filming whatever I’m doing,

but this is unacceptable!

It’s no good. Stop!

Just delete it!

No, you can’t use this.

We can’t use this footage.

Did it help? You think it helps?

You kind of get to see me,

who I am, you know, when I’m-- when I’m sleeping?

That’s--That’s actually pretty damn good.

Can you show me this footage?

Can I see?

After an intense period of preproduction,

the first day of filming had finally arrived.

All of David’s hopes and his dreams

had coalesced into this perfect moment.

My name is Scotty,

and I am the assistant director for Mr. Moore.

Mr. Moore is amazing.

I mean, I know we don’t have a lot of money on these films,

not a lot of bathrooms, or not a lot of everything,

but I think he’s gonna nail this film.

He’s not only gonna nail it. He’s gonna hammer it.

He’s gonna put it on a wall and frame it, and he’s gonna dust it.

And my job is to make sure that no one gets in the way of that dusting.

You know, I’m kind of like a--like a firefighter.

I mean, I put out fires every day.

I’m like the Smokey the Bear of Hollywood.

That’s just what you do.

And I enjoy that.

I’m good at that.

Hey, Scotty? Yes. Yes?

I think David is on fire,

like literally.

Uh, hey, man,

um, you’re probably gonna want to see this.

Um...

CURTIS: Today’s been really challenging.

Um, I think David has a very specific vision

that, um, he doesn’t really know what it is.

This embodies... Yes?

the cervix of the shark.

You don’t know how a vagina works, do you?

Don’t say, "Vagina."

Can--Can we just call it the shark cooter?

I’m stuck in this big, creepy, ugly-looking

cooter shark thing.

It’s made of, like, rubber.

You’re coming out...

Of the cooter?

Of the cooter.

No rubbers with holes, okay?

I’m just saying.

David, I don’t remember being born,

so can you give me a facial expression

of what I’m supposed to look like when I was being born...

Yes, okay. So you’re being born.

and birthed by this shark’s cooter?

I don’t know where I am.

Eyes are beginning to open.

Like this, it’s a birthing process.

Here we go! Set!

And action!

Come on!

They’re crowning, sir!

Come on, little shark babies. They’re crowning!

You know, a lot of big personalities.

We’re just kind of feeling each other out.

Cut! Cut! No!

Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut!

You know the old song.

The lap dance is always better

when the stripper is crying.

And I think, for him,

that’s, uh--that’s the artistic lubricant.

I-I--You know what?

I just-- I need a moment.

I gotta go to my safe place.

Okay.

He would call me from the set when--when things

were not always going the way he wanted them to.

I just don’t think they quite understand what I’m trying to do,

and they’re being so frickin’ mean to me!

Mommy, I’m not on the autism spectrum.

I don’t even know what that means.

I see visions, and I see the beauty,

and I want to just put that on the movie.

He just blathered on and on and on

about what his problems were.

I told him. I said,

"You know, you wouldn’t have these problems

if--if you let me be in the movie with you."

There’s no parts for you in the movie.

I understand that.

Scorsese puts his mother in his movies.

But that’s not me, okay?

You’re killing me, Mom.

You just don’t understand.

You’re just like everybody else.

I love you, too, Mommy.

I--I guess today is going okay.

There’s--There’s been a lot more crying and, um,

vagina...s than I thought there would be.

David! I’m calling my agent.

David?

Yeah, sometimes you look back at your life,

and you think, like, how did I get here?

And, um, you don’t know what to think of that.

This is part of the real behind-the-scenes of this process,

and one of the things I respect the most about David

is the-- uh, the challenges

that he puts in our way to overcome,

because they become an innate part of our organic process,

and I mean organic.

This is--This is what we’re working with.

Uh, the gag reflex occurs

every time I step on this,

and I don’t know if it’s applesauce or it is something worse,

but thi--Ohh.

Well, things on set the first few days

seemed like they were going okay.

David seemed to have...

a sense of what he wanted,

and he had a way of, uh--

he had a way of pulling a performance out of an actor.

That was real.

You know, it was real.

It was different,

but I was excited about being cast

as a lead in this fun "Sharknado" movie,

and, um--and then it just kind of went...

a little crazy.

He was not as concerned as I would have been

with--with the details of filmmaking.

He did some weird things.

You know, everybody does weird things.

He’s very organic in his directing.

It--It was very in your face.

You serious? Freaking meeting in progress?

They tell me to come here right friggin’ now?

Complain about my production?

They’re not happy with what they’re getting,

that--that I’m over budget?

I can’t paint without a paintbrush.

You can’t throw peanuts at me

and expect me to make a freakin’ Monet!

They don’t understand.

It’s not about the money.

What we’re creating here

is something bigger than life.

So what, The set is not safe?

The set is safe.

Everyone is alive

and doing well and acting!

Look, you can’t pull me out of production

on the middle of a shoot

when I’m creating something legendary, okay?

Remember those days when you used to have dreams,

when you were a kid in the sandbox

thinking about things outside this world?

What happened to you, man?

What happened?

We’re in this together.

This is not a "Shark Verse Crocosaurus."

This is shark and Crocosaurus together!

We need to do this, okay?

I need more money.

WAGENER: Under normal circumstances,

David Moore may have been fired from directing "Sharknado,"

but considering he was a partner in The Asylum,

that gave him certain job security.

This is a sharknado,

an actual tornado with sharks flying in it.

I need you to see it.

This is what we’re gonna do.

We’re gonna form a circle like a tornado, like a funnel.

We’re inside a sharknado.

There are winds.

There are cattle flying...

and sheds, and we’re moving.

We’re moving! It’s a tornado.

And sharks. There’s sharks.

It’s a sharknado! Sharknado, yeah.

Well, let’s say it!

It’s going! It’s going!

We’re going! We’re doing this!

Ha ha ha! We’re doing it!

Roll, Scotty! Roll it!

Roll camera! Roll sound!

Here we go! Get your saw!

Here we go! And action!

JULIE: Oh, Fin!

Yaah! Ha h--Oop!

Oh, my God!

My leg!

Keep rolling. Keep it going.

One second. Moore.

Oh! My leg!

Get--Cut! Get her some help!

Get her a medic!

Oh, God!

You’re gonna be all right!

I am so sorry that this happened,

and I truly hope that the leg can be reattached.

But don’t worry.

The movie will be completed.

David, don’t you replace me!

Don’t you cast somebody else, okay?

I would never do that.

Okay. You promise?

I promise. Okay.

How’s my hair?

How’s my hair?

Shh. It’s all right.

All right, gentlemen. Yeah.

This is one of the most important scenes in the entire film.

Okay. Remember that.

Yes, my hero scene. Stakes are high.

It’s my hero scene.

All right, and action!

Wait, Fin!

Get on, baby, if you wanna stay alive

longer than you are now. Come on.

Watch out! Here come the sharks!

Quick, baby. Duck.

Duck. I just hit you in the face.

I hit her face.

Her face got in the way of my elbow.

It’s okay. Are you okay?

I’m good. I’m good.

Oh, that’s bloody.

All right. Hold on.

Cut! Cut! Cut!

Yeah, cut. I’m sorry.

Could she not have her face there? Like--

Let’s keep going. Let’s keep rolling!

This is my big break. This is my big break.

Listen, We don’t have a set medic.

I want you to use it. I’ll use it!

Use it. From the top!

From the top! From the top!

There’s a lot of pressure, David.

It’s okay. It’s okay.

Every time. Okay, I got this.

I’m giving you a second shot.

I know you’re not Julie.

You’re the best. You have a leg.

I hear there was an accident on the previous film,

which is, you know, really sad to think about.

You know, you’re trying to make a movie

as realistic as possible,

and, you know, something catastrophic happened.

Thing about someone like David is

he’s so passionate about-- about what he’s doing

that you just kind of go along with it, you know.

You just--I think that’s what happened to Julie with her leg.

Like she just thought, "I’ll do it," you know.

"I’ll do the scene, because I really want

"to show him that I’m committed

and that I’m a trained actor."

Now she’s hopping around on one leg.

People always joke, "Oh, break a leg when you get onstage."

That’s not a joke to me anymore!

I lost my freakin’ leg.

I was a Playboy Bunny.

I can’t even be in a bunny outfit anymore.

What am I supposed to be, a bunny in an outfit with a frickin’ fake leg!

That’s the only reason I’m sitting here,

talking to you right now about it,

because I want everybody to know that there was

this really cool art "Sharknado" movie

that nobody even got to see.

It never got released.

Nobody’s even seen the footage,

and I know the footage was amazing.

We’re rolling sound!

And action!

Fin, wait!

Get on, baby, if you wanna live longer.

Let’s do this!

ZACK: Here come the sharks!

Quick! Duck!

Duck!

Goose.

Heh heh.

Get with me, gorgeous.

Cut!

That was total !

I did not believe a single word, a single look,

a single-- What are you doing?

What are you doing?

I was trying to be Julie.

Yes, that’s the problem!

You’re trying.

Take that, man. I just don’t think

you have it in your heart.

Stop.

One more take? Hold this.

I’m taking this.

Julie time is over.

I need you to stand behind the camera, sweetie.

Let me show you

how to embody Julie.

And...

action!

Fin!

Quick, baby! Get on the bike

if you want to live a lot longer.

Yes, I’m here!

Whaah!

Duck! Duck!

Goose.

And cut!

Cut!

That’s acting.

Great work!

I--I know. I know.

Thanks, guys.

Thanks, guys. That was--Yeah.

Now you see what we were getting at, huh?

I--Yeah. That was much better. You see?

There he is.

Hey. Dave, how you doing?

Great to see you, Joe. You as well.

See you’re looking at the, uh,

Statue of Liberty shots I sent.

Yeah. I got a couple questions here.

Number one, uh, what’s going on?

Oh, well, this,

this is during the climax of the movie,

so what’s happening here is full-on sharknado.

Um, obviously, we have a sample

of the shark that I’d like. That’s a great white.

Um, you know, plenty of room right here

for helicopters and planes

and, you know, the sharknado taking place,

ripping apart, uh, the Statue of Liberty.

I want it to look like--

like it’s a major studio movie, you know.

I--You know what I mean?

I do. I do. I know exactly what you mean...

Great. Great. which is why I have to ask

what’s going on over here?

Well, this will be in the same sequence.

Obviously it’s a direct continuation

of the Statue of Liberty,

and it’s, uh-- it’s also symbolic,

because the statue is fighting back itself.

D-David, this is a man in a suit.

Well, that’s actually a midget on stilts,

but you didn’t know that, did you?

I think it’s a great plate,

because there’s so much to work with.

You can use this woman,

you know, get her up,

stand her around.

She--She’s screaming, fighting for her life.

Of course, I would like, you know,

the helicopters and the planes

and the government just fighting back.

David. David. Yes?

We can’t do that.

This shot, this plate,

this whole thing is unworkable.

I can’t turn people around and show their faces

when they don’t have faces!

Well, can’t you just use, like, the erase tool

and paint her in over there? I don’t--

We can do a lot. We really can.

I can’t save this one.

This is a goner.

I know you can do it.

I’ve seen what you did with Crocosaurus.

Let me take it to the team.

We’ll take a look at the shot.

That’s all I ask.

My man. I can’t wait

to see what you come up with.

Thank you.

So why do you hate sharks so much, anyways?

They took my grandfather.

That’s why I hate sharks.

Sorry. Cut.

It’s not quite there yet.

Were you ever raped?

No.

Were you ever molested?

No. Oh, wait. Date raped.

Does that count?

I got my leg cut off!

It’s not always about you, Julie.

Okay?

Use the date rape. Okay.

What if I led him on?

I like the twist.

Okay, okay.

And do something different with that face.

Okay, yeah. Yeah. Still rolling.

I’ll try something different.

Action!

So why do you hate sharks so much, anyways?

They took my grandfather.

That’s why I hate sharks.

Sorry. I didn’t know.

Nailed it! Yeah?

Cut! Beautiful!

Great job! It’s like I--

It’s like I felt the guy pressing up against me,

and, you know, I was like, "Oh, yeah. Yeah, rape."

I can smell the Rohypnol, yeah.

Rape helped. Rape helped.

All right, here we go!

First positions! First positions!

Scotty?

Yes?

Let’s call it out.

Okay. Picture up!

Roll camera! Roll sound!

Set, and...

Action!

Thank God you’re here!

Aim for the Queen Shark!

Ah! I’m out of sonic ammo!

Quick. Scream into my mag!

P-P-Pow! Pow!

Ahh!

They’re in the sharknado!

No! Mr. Moore!

You gotta be in the sharknado, too!

No! No, Mr. Moore! Put that down!

We’re all in the sharknado together!

Mr. Moore, you’ve gone too far.

Come on, man. You’ve gone too far!

Say, "It’s a sharknado." No! No!

No! No! What the heck?

You can’t escape the sharknado!

you!

You can’t escape the sharknado!

JULIE: David!

Guys, where are you going?

Look, guys, I--

I’m in the sharknado, too! Eh?

I’m in it! I’m in it!

WAGENER: There is nothing more dangerous to a film

than a stop in production.

A film is like a shark.

If it stops moving, it dies.

And nobody knew this better than David.

The seafloor had been littered

with the corpses of his previous ideas,

and now his most precious idea was facing a similar fate.

Sharknado!

Sharknado!

Sharknado!

Sharknado!

Sharknad-no!

Sharknad-no!

Sharknad-no.

Sharknado.

Sharknado.

Sharknado.

Sharknado.

Shark--David? Sharknado!

David, I can see you!

David, I’m not an idiot!

I can smell you, yes.

Hello, David. Hi, David!

Why don’t you come down here

and give me your dildo, David?

No, David, no more!

No David! No Moore!

No, David, no more!

No David! No Moore!

No, David. No more!

No David! No Moore!

No, David, no more!

No David! No Moore!

Uh-huh. No, David!

No more!

Why do they hate me so much?

No more! No Moore!

I think the strike

was really just about wanting to be heard.

Listen, here’s the thing you gotta understand.

I’m not mad at David.

Oh, I am mad at David.

He’s--It’s absolutely ridiculous.

I mean, he-- he whines all the time.

It’s all this thinking.

It’s all this-- There’s so much thinking.

I’m not sure what he’s thinking about,

but, um, he’s thinking.

Working with David

has been an incredible opportunity.

I--I was really looking forward to this,

because I believe not only he,

but the movie concept are just amazing.

So I knew that it was gonna be really long hours

and little pay, which is totally cool.

I mean, I’m an actor. I’m used to it.

I guess I just didn’t realize

the emotional scarring that I would be experiencing.

Yeah, I’m not afraid of the long hours.

I’m not afraid of the hard work.

I mean, believe me, long and hard,

I mean, that’s my Twitter handle.

I thought I was just gonna be an actor on the shoot,

but he has me also do crew,

and that’s cool, ’cause I’m learning so much,

and I’m all about the learning.

I had a lot of trouble explaining to my dad

why there was a big black dildo on the set.

Dildo.

He hit me in the head

with a black dildo during business hours.

No, cut! Cut! Cut!

Ahh. Damn it, Chin!

You need to be on the same team!

We’re all on the same team!

I need you present!

You’re not present, okay?

When you’re not here with me,

that’s when you will get tapped

with the , okay?

I’m doing it for your own good.

I love you guys, all right?

We’re like Oolah sitting peacefully.

And when you fall out of that peaceful state

like you are right now, you get tapped!

You can get it with the shaft,

but you could also get it with the balls!

The balls hurt more.

If you’re not here and you’re not present,

you will get tapped with the .

I don’t want to have to do that always, okay?

It’s sad.

Nobody wants to be whacked with a dildo.

Even porn stars don’t want to be whacked with a dildo.

You ready? You sure? You sure?

You’re out of it! You’re out of it! I need you in it!

Yes, yes, it’s a wonderful , Mr. Moore, absolutely.

Back to one. Let’s do this! Pay attention!

Don’t scar me so much emotionally.

That’s pretty much all I’m asking for.

I think David just has a way of, uh,

communicating with people

that’s not very communicative

and a way of motivating people

that’s not particularly motivational.

Sharknado! Sharknad-no!

Sharknado! Sharknad-no!

Sharknado! Sharknad-no!

Sharknad-no! Sharknad-no!

If what’s in his head is what we’re doing now,

I--I don’t know about that.

But I think he just needs to be brought down to Earth sometimes.

You can do this.

Gonna get the damn shot...

if it kills me.

Raah!

Yaah!

I don’t need anybody!

I’m a samurai.

Real art.

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Hi. My name is Fin.

And I’m a giant shark.

Raah.

Ahh! Ehh!

The crying, the constant crying.

It’s not the same!

The whining. I mean, Kanye West called.

He wants his pacifier back.

I mean, this is absolutely ridiculous.

He scares me a little,

and so if this strike can help eliminate

the fear in my life, then let’s do it.

And I feel like if he would just let us create the story for him,

let all of us bring this to life for him,

that we could really make something incredible.

If you can change your underwear, David,

you can change your attitude.

That’s what I have to say.

Oh, God.

WAGENER: A film is not created in a vacuum.

It is and will always be a collaborative art.

Maybe David had forgotten that for a while.

But he began to realize

that even the greatest filmmaker in the world

is nothing without his cast and crew.

Hey, buddy.

How’s it going?

They left me.

They walked out.

And now they’re--

they’re walking around with their little signs.

I don’t get it!

You can...

be a little intense.

Writer.

It’s Daniel. Writer.

Writer, please,

I need you to help me.

I beg you.

Um... Help me.

I need to finish this movie!

Please, use your words.

Don’t you want to see them on the big screen,

your name, written by...

writer.

Daniel.

Daniel.

Heh. Daniel.

Right.

I’m sorry.

I know I’m not the best guy in the world.

I’m a little difficult,

and I know this movie

could be a phenomena.

"Sharknado."

I have nothing left.

I’m going to die a no-name filmmaker.

Nobody cares.

No, it’s--it’s not that nobody cares.

It’s just...

Nobody cares.

nobody cares as much as you do.

I don’t get it.

Right, I know.

They don’t-- They don’t know

what’s going on up here.

Could you--

Could you talk to them, please,

and see if they’ll come back

and help me finish this, please?

Please?

Yeah, but you got--

Please, thank God! Thank God!

You just have to... Thank God.

just maybe... God, please.

maybe--maybe just

bring the intensity down a notch.

Dear God! Take...

No, no. You know what?

I’m strong enough. Just...

I can do it. Okay.

Core focus. Yeah, so...

you just breathe... Okay.

and do whatever it is you’re doing.

I’ll go talk to them.

Yes. Thank you.

Just try not to hurt yourself, okay?

Samurai.

Sharknado! We won’t go!

Sharknado! We won’t go!

Hey--Hey, guys.

Can I talk to you guys for just a second?

Daniel, what do you want?

Look, Scotty, I--

I know that David is

intense and inappropriate,

but--

I don’t think he means anything by it.

He’s just got this vision.

He’s like a big, giant, dangerous puppy.

He’s in there right now crying, okay?

Well, it’s Tuesday.

He’s always in there crying.

Right, but it’s-- it’s an ugly cry.

It’s a--Here. Just look.

He’s crying ’cause he--

he knows he crossed a line with you, Scotty.

Meghan, he--I think he really, really,

really wants to change and do better,

and I think if we go back in there,

get his spirits back up, and make some changes,

that this’ll be okay, and we can, you know,

get out of this having made a movie, guys, you know?

I-I’m in.

Okay, okay, okay. Okay?

Yes. Yes, David.

Thank you. Scotty, thank you.

Yes. Yes, to David.

I mean, no to David. Maybe.

No David? Well, maybe.

Yes, David. Maybe David.

Maybe. Maybe?

Maybe.

David, Mr. Moore,

thank you so much

for taking time for this intervention.

The first step to recovery

is accepting that you’re a jerk.

Yeah, you’re kind of out of control.

I think you wear too much linen.

You slap us. You glare at us.

You shout at us.

It just--It just makes it very hard

to--to stand by you.

But you are my man,

so to speak, as the director,

and I will--I will stand by you

if you will stand with me.

David, I just want to say that I like linen.

You look really good in it.

I just think it would be awesome

if you would just maybe direct us.

Like if you could give me a playable action

which usually involves, like, a verb.

"Respect" is a word that I don’t use lightly.

I wanna say right now in front of everyone

that I regard you...

I have a hormone doctor.

I’m gonna give you his card,

and I really think it’s gonna help you out.

You need to suck it up, cupcake!

This happened for you!

I have to sit down.

Did you want me to help you?

No! Producers have guaranteed me now

that I do have top billing now,

you jackasses, all right?

Pull it together!

I’m gonna be your star,

and if I can suck that and show back up on this set

after being in the hospital, having my frickin’ leg

chopped off on your set, you can suck it up.

This will be a hit movie.

Everybody will be talking about it.

They’ll be talking about that Playboy Bunny who lost her leg,

and she’s no longer a stand-up comic.

She’s a sit-down comic.

I ain’t gonna burst into tears,

so you better-- you better wipe them tears.

It’s like Tennessee roadkill up for grabs.

Don’t do it.

That’s all I got to say.

You gotta buck up, soldier.

Because you’re--

you’re our Patton,

and this,

this is our fight of Little Big Tent.

I don’t really study a lot of history,

so it’s one of those ones where they fought

and they won against a lot of other people

and then--then people talk about it.

But you’re that guy.

David--

um...

money shot.

Money shot.

David, down--down here.

I’m in the-- in the computer.

I wanted to apologize for not being there in person.

I’m, uh, actually in the backyard of my therapist’s house.

For the love of God, can you just call me Daniel?

When you just call me writer,

it--it makes me feel somehow like less of a person.

Also, when you say directly that I am less of a person,

that also makes me feel the same way.

Don’t listen to anyone w-who says anything bad about you!

You smell good!

You--You have nice scarves and hats,

and you wear them in various ways

that always make you look good.

Y-You always let me sleep wherever there’s a flat surface

when I need to sleep, ’cause I don’t have one.

And you-- People don’t know this.

You make doughnuts.

Not a lot of people make doughnuts

in this world that aren’t doughnut entrepreneurs.

You do.

It takes a great amount of courage

to say the things that you all have said to me,

and I thank you,

each and every one of you,

from the bottom of my heart.

And I want you to know that we are in this together,

and I will do anything,

whatever it takes to complete this film.

I would cut off both of my legs,

both of my arms, and even my head

if that’s what it takes.

Thank you for coming here

and having the courage.

I hope the air is--is cleared,

and I ask you now

if you are onboard with me to make "Sharknado."

Are you onboard?

Yeah.

Thank you. Bring it in, guys.

DANIEL: At the end of the day, I think the strike

actually brought everybody closer together.

I was glad that, you know--

whatever part I was able to play in just,

you know, getting everybody to, you know,

put the boots back on and get back out there

and--Or I guess, you know, in there,

’cause they were outside, and it was a soundstage.

I’m Fin McCool, shark,

and I’m dangerous on the dance floor.

Get over here, baby! Get some sugar!

Ohh. Man.

Ugh. What is that smell, David?

She got blood on her nose or--

What? He stinks.

You stink so bad!

How am I supposed to kiss him

if he stinks like that?

I used Axe body spray.

You smell like fish.

Well, we did-- It’s a shark.

We put legitimate chum on him,

because he’s supposed to be

coming out of a belly of a shark.

Yeah, shark, yeah.

So that’s real fish blood and...

Listen. You-- guts I got on me?

You love this man so much

that, even if he was covered in shit,

you would kiss him passionately.

Passionate shit.

I’m gonna wipe this off your nose,

and we’re gonna-- I’d help, but...

On the roll.

Back to one! Okay.

Still rolling!

Ugh. It’s good.

How’s makeup?

You look great. Thanks.

I’m Fin McCool.

Cha-cha-cha, shark!

Come on, baby.

Come get some sugar.

We can edit this, right?

Ahh.

Can you tell me why this is out of focus?

Can we fix that in post?

Why didn’t anyone see this?

This is shit! This is ridiculous!

Every time you come in here, something goes wrong!

Leave!

bread with no meat?

What is this ?

What the are you looking at?

You made me a bread sandwich.

I’ve got it! I’ve got the ending!

They gotta love it.

Of course they’re gonna love it.

"That was the best movie I ever saw."

"Hands down."

Let me--

Paul?

Mr. Latt?

Uh, yeah?

So, uh, what’d you think?

It was great, right?

Oh, yeah.

Could you call off your guy?

Yeah. Can you just--

If you wanna talk, we’ll talk.

Sure. Can you guys just, uh,

give me a little moment here?

Are the cameras turned off?

Yeah. They’re off. They’re off, yeah.

You son of a . I can’t --

We just did "Mega Shark versus Giant Octopus,"

and I got the !

I mean, Jesus Christ!

I have Syfy up my ass so hard

it’s like a enema!

Am I seeing a shark? Am I seeing a sharknado?

No! I’m not seeing anything!

I’m seeing just art. I’m seeing art!

What the is art?

This is The Asylum!

Are those cameras off?

It’s all good. It’s all good.

You made a piece of shit.

Congratulations!

Ahh. It sucks!

It sucks!

This is gonna feel really good.

Ah, shit.

It’s not real.

It’s not--It’s not..

It’s not real.

I don’t have a single real shark.

I don’t have a single real shark

to make a real sharknado.

A single real shark

anywhere in this movie!

I need a real shark!

I got it!

Thank you, God. Thank you!

Gonna finish this movie

if it kills me!

I’m not a lousy filmmaker.

I’m not a lousy filmmaker!

David crossed over into a little bit of hubris.

David--They wanted us to get in the ocean.

I don’t get in the ocean.

I can’t even swim. I can’t swim.

So, no, I didn’t want to get in the water

infested with freakin’ sharks.

Who wants to do that?

He wanted the realest thing he could get.

I just-- It’s very difficult to talk about.

Um...

Guys, I know we’ve been through hell and back,

but here we are to make and complete

the greatest movie ever made!

And the reason that I called you down at this very moment

is because right now

there are real sharks in them waters!

Real sharks are swimming right now

to make the perfect movie.

We have to be real.

Zack! Yes, sir.

My leading man.

Captain, my Captain.

My brave thespian.

I call upon you now

to help me complete this journey of glory.

Okay.

’Cause sometimes you have to make sacrifices,

and that requires pain.

You understand what I’m asking you, soldier?

I don’t. What do you need?

I need you to get into the ocean

with the sharks to complete this masterpiece.

Will you do that for me, sir?

No. I’m not getting in water with sharks, David.

I’m sorry.

Julie.

Yeah?

My leading lady.

Yeah?

The most beautiful woman

I have ever laid my eyes upon.

Will you get into the great ocean

with the sharks to complete this movie?

David, you want me to get in the ocean with frickin’ sharks?

Are you bona fide crazy?

No.

I can’t even swim with two legs,

much less with one.

I have to finish the movie!

I have to make this movie great!

Chin, you roll that camera, God damn it,

and you keep it rolling! Keep it rolling!

Keep it on me!

David, what--

Shh!

We’re rolling, Zack!

It’s not about you!

It’s not about any of you!

It’s about the movie!

It’s always been about the movie!

We’re rolling now, damn it.

JULIE: David.

ZACK: Don’t do this, David!

David!

That’s a cut.

It was literally like, you know,

in the--in the opening scene of "Jaws,"

where the girl’s like,

"Ah ha ha. Come in the water with me.

Ahh." Whuhh.

That’s what happened.

The death was really authentic.

And then he was gone,

and then it was just like blood and blood

a-and blood every--

They didn’t even hardly find the body parts.

I’m sorry. It’s still a little hard for me to talk about, because--

because it was so bloody.

I think it was actually the happiest I’ve ever seen David.

They were doing this ocean scene, and they just--

they just never came out of the ocean.

It’s very sad.

It was very, very sad.

Very tragic. Very sad.

If he had not got in the water,

then--then, you know,

everybody would have got to see the real "Sharknado,"

not that fake one, you know, with all them other actors.

It’s like they would have got to see it with myself and Rachel

and--and a real artistic version.

I have not been a part of something that wasn’t released.

You know, I think that would be

really upsetting, um, as an actor, you know.

’Cause, you know, you spend so much time

preparing and getting into the role,

and, you know, you work 10, 15 hours a day.

You’re so excited for people to see the finished product,

and, you know, nothing comes out,

so it must be-- it must be sup--

you know, really, really hard thing

for all the people who worked on the--

the previous "Sharknado" film,

you know, to have, you know,

dedicated their lives and limbs

and all that and really for--for nothing.

I don’t know. Like, honestly, I’m still very confused.

And, uh, my therapist was like,

"I don’t think you should go in and talk about it today,"

But I was like, "No, no, no. I’m strong enough,"

but I don’t know if I am.

I-It’s been a long road.

And since the end, I--

I dealt with it a lot.

I haven’t talked a lot about it,

not to--to anybody publicly.

Um, my psychologist had a lot of themes and reasons

why she thought that, you know,

I was having a hard time dealing with it.

Um, she said it’s because she thinks

that I--you know, I didn’t get to star in the next "Sharknado" movie.

They stuck me in it in some tiny, little, bitty part

playing a reporter who gets eaten by a shark

coming out of a tornado, because it could happen.

And--And then I didn’t even get put in "Sharknado 2,"

when I was a frickin’ star of the first one.

And she said I’m more angry with that.

And--But I’m really-- I’m upset,

because I didn’t get to actually finish the film.

I wanted to finish--

I needed to be the star of a movie,

and they took that from me, everything--

They took it from me.

He wanted to be remembered

for something that had never been done before,

and I think I can safely say that I have never, ever,

ever seen this done before in this way,

and I really hope I never see it done this way again.

Everyone, thank you so much

for coming today for, um, David Moore’s funeral.

I’m sorry we were unable to book a church,

but I thought the studio was much more appropriate.

This was his favorite place to be.

This was the place he could play

and probably the only place he could be himself,

and that’s where we’re gonna honor him today.

As you all know, David was a man

full of passion, uncompromising,

completely dedicated, um, to his craft

and, um, just full of so much power.

And that will not end,

’cause David is all around us,

just like that sharknado was all around us.

David Moore has the heart of a shark,

and we are all the better because of that.

So, thank you, David.

Thank you for sharing your spirit with us.

JULIE: David was a creative genius.

He needed to be loved.

Keep on swimming, David.

Keep on swimming.

You’re a wonderful son, David,

and I--I hope you’re in a better place,

and I hope wherever you are

that they understand you better

than we did down here or up here,

whichever.

Uh, B-Bill.

Bill, no.

How do you summarize a person’s life

in just a few words?

David Moore was an intense, and passionate artist

who was uncompromising in his pursuit of truth.

What would David Moore’s "Sharknado" have been like?

We can only wonder.

But what we can be certain of

is that wherever David’s spirit is,

he is still in pursuit of truth.

Good luck to you, David.

I hope you find it.

I think by this point,

everybody out there has heard of "Sharknado."

I think "Sharknado" is a phenomenon

partly because it’s just fun.

It’s written in a-- It’s written well

and especially for what it is.

There’s something kitschy and hilarious

and, of course, deeply serious

and moving about "Sharknado."

A fun, uh, fierce sushi-fest,

because we gonna cut these mother... sharks up.

I actually watched it when it originally premiered,

um, and was in awe,

like I think most of America was.

Everyone loves the film.

It’s just amazing how many people know it,

recognize it, and talk about it.

"Sharknado" is a goliath.

It is--It is a huge part of pop culture.

I’m obsessed with "Sharknado,"

because I’m obsessed with everything pop culture,

and this is not just a movie.

This is a pop-culture phenomenon.

I think all of us have sort of been eaten up

by this whole thing. It’s great.

People realized that, you know,

they could share the--the uniqueness,

the fun, and the craziness of "Sharknado."

You, as a person watching this,

go, "Yes!"

yes...yes...yes...

yes...yes...yes...

I can’t talk about the settlement with Asylum.

I’m--I’m doing very well now,

and they actually gave a little jump-start to my career again.

They did?

They did.

They put me in "The Coed and Zombie Stoner,"

which I understand is very popular.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Yaah! Ahh!

You just wouldn’t believe

what a nice pump it gave to my career.

Oh, but, um, I’m--

What a sacrifice.

I had to sacrifice my son.

♪ Ay-ay-ay

♪ His Honor drove southward seeking exotica ♪

♪ Down to the pueblo huts of New Mexico ♪

♪ Cut his teeth on turquoise harmonicas ♪

♪ Oh-oh-oh

♪ I saw Johanna down in the subway ♪

♪ She took an apartment in Washington Heights ♪

♪ Half of the ring lies here with me ♪

♪ But the other half’s at the bottom of the sea ♪

♪ Look outside at the raincoats coming ♪

♪ Say oh

♪ Look outside at the raincoats coming ♪

♪ Say oh

♪ Look outside at the raincoats coming ♪

♪ Say oh

♪ Look outside at the raincoats coming ♪

♪ Say oh

♪ Ay-ay-ay-ay

♪ Ay-ay-ay-ay

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