Original subtitles

- I learned so much about myself,

so much about what I wanted and who I wanted to be.

That is the best part of dancing.

You just feel so powerful and it is empowering.

- I am all work mode.

As soon as I hit that building, it's all work mode.

I'm not Yasmine anymore, I'm Ruby, and Ruby,

she's whatever she needs to be to get the bag

at the end of the day.

- I would say that I'm the default

when you think of a stripper,

I feel like I'm everyone's type.

I started making so much more money

when I stopped putting pressure on myself.

I try not to care about how much I make in a night,

but $5,000, that's a great night.

- When I dancing up on the pole in the air,

doing anything, I'm really just within myself,

within my body.

I could forget about everything else

that's going on in the world.

- Pole dancing is definitely an art.

I'm really an entertainer.

I go in with the mindset that I just want to entertain

from women to men.

Ultimately, I'm trying to sell a fantasy at work.

Being able to walk into a place and leave with $10,000

within five to eight hours,

only in this type of business does that happen.

- Now that we're in a pandemic

and get to find extra areas of revenue,

and one of my forms of revenue is filming content at home.

So, I got to bring the club home with me,

which was fucking awesome.

'Cause then I'm in control of everything.

- Vegas is a city, of course,

but I wouldn't even call it a metropolis,

I would call it a fantasy land in the middle of the desert.

There's something about the feeling you get in the city

where everything is larger than life,

it's covered in lights, everything is the biggest, the best.

The whole city of Vegas is designed

around entertainment, and strippers

are part of that entertainment.

There's around 20,000 strippers that live in Vegas,

and that's insane, that's larger than some cities.

20,000 strippers.

- I am born and raised

in Las Vegas, Nevada.

It's really not all glitz and glam.

People are still dying on our streets every day,

just like anywhere else.

Growing up, my mom worked two to three jobs

at all times to support me and my brothers.

So I just had a sense of responsibility instilled

in me from a young age.

I kept myself occupied by taking AP and honors classes.

I did whatever sport I could do.

I participated in clubs, on top of being a part of sports.

I did get scholarships, over $76,000 worth of scholarships,

over three schools.

- Growing up, my dad did a lot of show business work.

He also was in the circus for much of my life.

Growing up, my dad was in a unicycle troupe

called The King Charles Troupe.

It consisted of all my uncles, they rode unicycles.

My early memories of my dad were very good.

We grew up around some exciting stuff,

some stuff that most kids don't ever get to see.

It trickled down to all of his kids as well.

So, we all know how to ride the unicycle.

- By the time I could remember it,

I think maybe I was three or four.

Modeling was always something

that was already there.

My mom had me in baby modeling things,

and I just remember taking pictures.

We would have little mini photo shoots outside

and take pictures, I would dance around the living room,

get dressed up in all of her scarves and hats.

Every kid wants to fit in.

I don't think there's a single kid

that doesn't wanna fit in.

I wasn't the popular kid, I was kinda shy.

Certain people wouldn't hang out with me

because I wasn't hood enough.

And then certain people wouldn't hang out with me

because I was of color.

So I kinda just stayed focused on my world,

and my artistic world, and my creative world.

And that worked for me.

- My teenage years

were really rough, I was on my own most of the time.

Middle school hit, and I had just gotten out of foster care.

I kinda grew up in the hood to where I got beat up a lot.

I had to learn how to fight on my own.

Fighting for myself physically,

but also mentally fighting for myself.

I was really depressed, I was really socially just confused.

Give it to me. - Get up.

- That's it, come on, get up.

- I just wanted to be wanted by somebody.

I just didn't know how to be me.

- I actually used to joke when I was younger

that I would make a bomb ass stripper, and I am .

I had a really good childhood.

My parents put me into dance, did ballet,

contemporary, tap, jazz, hip hop.

When I was seven, I got onto the dance company at my studio.

When I got into high school,

I was on the dance company there.

I traveled, I competed and performed everywhere I could.

- I actually learned how to swim

before I learned how to walk.

I was one of the best swimmers in my town, in my county.

And so, it made me feel really important.

It made me feel like it could be a way out of the life

that I was living at home.

And so, I had it in my mind from a really young age

that this is something that could take me to college

or this is something that could really help me in life.

And I liked feeling like I was good at something.

But I wound up getting a full ride scholarship

to UC Santa Cruz.

I was the first person on my mom's side of my family

that went to college.

And so, there was a pressure to graduate.

- My sister, Angel, inspired me a lot when she took me

to my first bachelor party.

I think I was 16 and it was crazy, it was fun, it was lit.

My sister had been a dancer for a while.

She started dancing when she turned 18.

She's the one who really opened up that world for me.

I was just so inspired, she did so amazing.

She was so good at the pole.

And my biggest dream was to learn pole tricks.

That's when it all started.

And I knew at that time, okay, when I'm of age,

this is what I'm gonna do, I'm gonna find a club.

I'm gonna go dance one day.

One day, I said, "Okay, let's do it."

I bought my ticket, I left my mom.

I left all that bullshit behind,

and went to Vegas, and never looked back.

- So, when I started dancing,

it brought back that feeling of competition,

you're competing for money and praise on the tip rail.

And it made me feel alive again.

It brings you that feeling

like you're about to go do a gymnastics competition

and there's a stadium full of people watching,

and you have to perform.

Literally, the second they called my name on stage,

it was go time.

- Miss September Reign.

- When I was 18,

when I first started thinking about dancing,

I was with my daughter's dad at the time.

And I asked him, "What should I do?"

He got me a pole.

And we put it up in our one bedroom weekly.

And I practiced and practiced and practiced for weeks,

for months before I was able to build the courage

to go into my first club.

So by the time I went into my first club,

I already knew what I was doing.

And it's because I thought that that's how it was,

that everybody knew what they were doing,

and boy, was I wrong.

- I didn't know pole tricks, I didn't know anything.

I just knew that I knew how to dance

and I was going to make it .

My first night dancing, I made $200

and I was doped, I was so excited.

- When I first started

making money, it was coming really quick because,

like I said, I knew how to pole dance already.

And that was my thing.

I realized very quickly that my body talks to my customers.

I learned that that was my moneymaker.

The money was flying, it was coming in really quick.

My first $1,000 I think I made on my second or third night.

So, I knew I was just destined for Vegas.

- I was in five AP classes my senior year of high school,

and the AP tests were expensive,

and I needed to get a job to pay for them.

So I started dancing

when I was 17 at a bar in my town.

They asked me if I was 18, I said, yes,

they didn't check ID, so it wound up working out.

And it opened me up to a lot of experiences performing

that I probably wouldn't have gotten otherwise.

I was spitting fire, I was dancing on bars.

I was learning the basics of pole dancing.

My second year of college,

I started dancing at a very small club.

It was a pretty tight knit group of girls.

It was the first time I had a group of girlfriends

that I really could be myself with.

- As far as the girls

in the strip club, don't trust those bitches,

do not trust those bitches.

I'm not your friend, she's not your friend.

We're all here for one reason,

one reason only, it's crabs in a bucket.

Bitches are sneaky.

It wasn't too hard to transition

from my cheer dance background to stripping.

If anything, it made it easier.

I was already flexible,

I had already knew how to hold my weight,

and I was already strong,

so climbing the pole was extremely easy.

I've been stripping ever since.

- Growing up having this love for dance,

I was always open to the idea of going into striping.

And so, finally I met my friend

who was a stripper at the time.

And honestly, she got me to the club the next night.

I just needed somebody

to kind of kick my ass through the door and kind of help me,

guide me through it.

I wasn't particularly nervous about the dancing

in front of people or taking my clothes off

in front of people, I was very comfortable in myself.

I was more nervous about this whole unknown industry

that was so looked down upon

and kind of being uninsured of what I was stepping into.

- When I'm dancing,

it's like I'm in a whole different space.

It's like I'm in a whole different body.

Most of my clientele are women.

They love the fact that I go up there and express myself,

express through my body and art because it's not easy.

And most women really appreciate that.

Now, men, you have to work a little bit more,

but they appreciate the art as well too.

- Dancing is super therapeutic

and you're able to move your body to tell a story.

And whether that story is a sad story,

a happy story, a sexy story,

it's your story that you get to tell.

And that's one thing that's really beautiful about it.

And you just get lost in the music.

And I just let go and I move.

I don't choreograph my dances

and when I'm done, I feel great.

- Give it up

for 2021 Heartbreaker of the year, this is Galaxciii.

- I love to be aggressive on stage.

I love to have a good fucking time.

That is the best part of dancing, and it is empowering.

- Dance is a part of the performing arts.

Pole dancing is an art.

My dancing speaks for me.

It's never about anyone else, it's always about me.

Even though I'm performing, I'm performing for myself.

- When I do a dope pole trick

and all of a sudden I see money rain down on me,

it's fucking dope.

That move that I have been practicing for years

or working on for months,

all of that hard work was worth it.

- Movement really helps to kind of loosen up my body

and I'm able to just really be at peace with myself.

- Here we go, ladies and gentlemen,

get those singles ready,

we've got Sin City's favorite California girl

coming up right here on the stage, let's welcome Robi.

- I feel like I move like water on stage.

It's like a seductive tease.

I can take thousands of dollars from a guy

and not even mention sex.

It's not how everyone hustles,

but that hustle works very well for me.

- Whether you're a boob man or an ass man,

one of the things that everybody loves

from men to women is twerking.

The way that I can move my body, it makes it look so good,

and most women want to do it and men wanna see it.

So, when you're dancing for somebody, it feels good.

It's just something that I believe everybody loves.

- Stripping, there's a very fine line.

The line is, I never take my panties off.

We are not gonna have sex no matter what.

And so, I think knowing that that boundary

is there makes me so much more comfortable

just being free and being hyper-sexual,

because it is a role that I get to step into

and I do enjoy the acting part of it.

- The VIP room is really tricky because in stripping,

there are a lotta unspoken rules,

and it varies on each club and it varies on each girl.

But you are there by yourself and you are half naked

and you're with a guy that's already,

or a girl, that's already lusting for you.

So depending on the club and what each club will allow

and depending on each girl and what each girl will allow,

some stuff can happen.

- Doing VIP is way more intimate.

It's hands-on, you have to really get in there a little bit.

I'm good, slap my ass, do whatever you wanna do, rub me.

- Okay, all right.

- You gotta get what you pay for.

- All right.

- I like the VIP because I'm a very sexual person.

So when I'm back there, I'm trying to give my all.

- Cheers.

Don't be scared to touch.

Will you smack that?

I'll be in the back with people,

and I will be telling them what to do.

I'll be moving their hands onto my body.

I will be repositioning them,

and they can just sit back and enjoy the ride.

And that's not something that these men are used to.

And so, they want that feeling more.

And so, that's when we go back for the second hour,

and that's we get the next bottle.

- I definitely believe stripping is sex work.

Some clubs that I've danced at are fully nude,

so that in itself would be sex work.

You're getting enjoyment and pleasure from my nude body.

- I average 2,000 to $2,500 a night, four nights a week.

- When my money bag is nice and full,

it's honestly such a comforting feeling.

- The best night I ever had, I made over $10,000,

and we stayed in the VIP room from00 p.m.

until00 p.m. the next day.

And I charged over $1,000 an hour.

So you can do the maths on that .

Physically holding a large amount of cash

just makes me feel successful,

like I have mastered my craft.

- The first time I made $3,000, it just made me go harder.

That first 3,000 turned into 5,000.

The first time you hit big, it's like an adrenaline rush.

Like, you feel like wonder woman,

like you could do anything now .

Every $1,000 that I make is a badge of honor.

I'm a thousandaire, I'm proud .

- There were times where I was making two,

three grand a night easy,

I would make that in like two hours.

- You have some hits, you have some misses.

That's just how it goes.

That's how the hustle is.

You just gotta appreciate those times

when it's really, really, really good

and just prepare for when it's really not.

- Take a live look at the Las Vegas Strip

this morning, just hours after a statewide shelter in place

was declared by Nevada's governor.

- We're going to be looking

at a very different Las Vegas Strip.

- The business shut down

will affect one of the biggest tourist spots in the country.

- Corona virus fucked up the game.

It put a stop to everything.

- March 15th was the last day any dancer

would step foot on a stage.

- Here in Las Vegas,

our strip clubs took the hardest hit.

We're not essential businesses at all.

- All the clubs got shut down

and every dancer like myself had to figure out

what the fuck we were gonna do.

So when the pandemic hit

and all these stimulus packages came,

they weren't coming for us.

You couldn't work in an explicit environment.

And stripping, even though it's not sex,

is an explicit environment.

- Strippers have to adapt very quickly

and learn to pivot when needed.

That skill I think translated very well

when everything got shut down

and you didn't have a club to go to anymore.

And we had to figure out

how can we do the same kind of interaction and performance

and entertainment in an online platform.

And using those skills, we found ways to make that work.

- I'm a real hustler, I'm a real trapper.

I'll always have more than one source of income.

I have downloaded Streamates.

It's a streaming app for sex workers.

It's webcam modeling.

You don't have to show anything

if you don't wanna show you anything, it's all up to you.

Oh, that's what you're saying .

Here we go.

I started streaming, within the first 72 hours of streaming,

I had already made $500.

They didn't really care

too much to if I was naked or not.

They liked me for my conversation, my awkwardness.

I'm making waffles, strawberry, or not strawberry .

Banana and peanut butter waffles.

I'm just trying to get the gains.

- How about I do this for you, right here?

Give you my Valentine's Day gift .

I literally bring the club in my bedroom.

And I've now taken that toward social media

and my online presence.

And because I got introduced to taking the club home

and doing webcam and live shows,

and it opened up a door for fans

that were all around the world.

- I think it's really cool

to make my space my own private club.

To able to create that from home on your phone online,

and it's more of a personal one-on-one experience

with other people.

Overall, I love to dance and I love doing it for myself,

but there's a lot of me that loves doing it

more for other people.

- Having a pole in my house

has definitely helped me out a lot.

When I'm at home, I just like to kind

of really focus on dancing for me

'cause it's different dancing on stage for other people,

and then there's dancing for yourself.

You need to dance for yourself

'cause then you really start to appreciate it.

- My vibe when I dance is real mellow,

and I have the lights as low as I want.

I play my slow songs back to back.

And I really vibe out in here.

And that's what's so important to me.

That's what keeps the energy going.

- Yes, you guys, perfect.

The online classes made it so that people

could from all over can take classes

from me like they've been doing.

I've had people the way in the U.K.,

in Australia, in other rural areas

that aren't able to attend in-person classes.

Nice. - And it forced you

to have to take your brand seriously,

because it's not a short game anymore of dancing,

getting all this guy's money and you never see them again.

You're gonna see them again 'cause you're online,

and word of mouth online travels like that,

and you can lose your fan base, and then where's your money?

- I want you

to grab the rail a little bit, that's perfect, there you go.

- My name now means a lot more to me

and my brand that I'm trying to produce

means a lot more to me.

So, I really try very hard to portray the person I am.

I'm really good at makeup,

obviously, like duh, but .

And I'm not scared to show anybody my bad side,

and I'm not scared to show anybody my goofy side,

and how I've gotten from point A to point Z.

Social media is a great way

for everybody to see how I'm progressing,

because there's a lot of levels to this shit.

- One, two.

One more, one more.

- So, I obtained and made sure I maintained photo-shoots

and constantly trying to be active on my social media

to promote myself, that's all we have.

It's a fantasy ultimately that I'm trying to sell

and that I do sell.

So I wanna be something totally different,

something exclusive, something

that they're fantasizing about.

So, I rely heavily on Instagram.

My first Instagram that I was promoting myself on

had around 87,000 people or followers.

And that page, I made so much money.

- So, at the start of the pandemic,

I was in Santa Cruz for my birthday,

the weekend that everything got shut down.

So, I was in California for a while,

working at the beach lifeguarding.

They needed a lot of help.

We were facing beach closures.

We were doing 70 hour weeks during a pandemic.

- Union 93's 14 John NN3, 108, good morning.

- Good work, good morning.

- Copy, we'll be in route.

It was really high stress.

On top of listening to the 911 scanner all day,

hearing about how there's no beds at the hospital

every 10 minutes.

Northern 14th John, entering .

We're just gonna wait until Harbor gets here,

and then you're gonna get on the Harbor boat

and help them with this.

Then we're all gonna go back to the Harbor.

- Sounds good. - Yeah.

You guys get a free jet ski ride today .

There were so many

more deaths, there were so many more drownings.

It was a lot.

I love lifeguarding.

I love being able to take control of a situation

where I might be the only person in control.

One hand.

I would lifeguard full-time

if it made sense financially for me.

But I have to be making money, I have to pay bills.

My parents are getting older.

I have to be able to support them.

And I think I have an underlying fear

of being really poor again.

And I'm really willing to do whatever it takes

to make sure that that never happens.

But it is stressful at times, for sure.

- Before COVID,

things were good, but I feel

like I actually started making a lot more money

when COVID hit than I did before.

There was nowhere to work, there was nothing you could do,

but you had to make it work, so you made stuff happen.

I made stuff happen.

Going to the bars, and finding clients,

and throwing parties together, throwing events together.

My hustle just turned on,

when everything shut down, my instincts shined.

When you grip with both legs and you just kinda hang.

- Oh, like a side bar to it.

- Mm-hmm, can you do that?

I can teach you that.

During COVID, I actually did start doing pole classes.

Obviously, it was another source of income.

Legs up, hold your grip, boom, hold, split, yeah.

And that was another way.

And also meeting other girls

that are down to perform at events, at gigs.

You just gotta kind of find where your strengths are.

And my strength is just hustling.

Hustle was within my blood.

- Okay, good job.

I have my own pole company, Tricks By Yas.

I do women's sessions, private one-on-ones.

So, that's fine.

That is my second stream of income.

I would say I've had at least 100 girls

over the past 14 months that have hit me up.

'Cause that way, you'll have more control.

Pole dancing I'm forever progressing at.

I always want to meet people

who do teach professional pole dance classes

because I don't have that background.

I never took a pole class.

It's always good to keep learning.

No matter what you're doing,

it's always good to keep learning.

You can always know more, you can always improve.

- In the pandemic, I started doing Onlyfans

because a second source of income,

they cut our pay at life guarding.

And I was very lucky that my stripper friends

are also doing Onlyfans.

And Jesse helped me so much.

She said, "You have to make your Onlyfans,

"you have to make your online platform,

"a safe space for you."

And if I'm making it reflect me,

then it's gonna be so much easier to put work into it,

and to spend the time editing videos, and networking.

So my mornings start with a cup of coffee,

and sitting on my couch, and catching up

with all of the social media from the night before,

seeing how my Onlyfans did,

how much money did I make while I was sleeping.

- So my mom was a single mom, so she worked a lot.

So, I just wanted to help take care of the family

and help provide for my mom.

And I remember seeing a ad on Craigslist for modeling,

and it was advertised as teen glamor.

At 16 $600 a day for two days, that's a lot.

So that kind of drove me to do it.

I definitely ended up thinking I

was gonna be taking pictures with just a bra and panty.

And I ended up being naked

with a shear sheet, covering me.

The makeup I think for me was more shocking now

than it was at the time.

I should have known better.

We're half naked and were under the age of 18.

When you're 15, 16,

you don't think about the consequences of the choices

that you make and how those will play a part

of your future life.

So, to take that two seconds of time to say, hey,

is this something I'm really prepared for?

Is this something I really can handle?

And understanding that once you get in it,

you can't go back, it might change the path

that the younger me would have took.

- So my mom was a single mom.

We were pretty poor, but she did a really good job

of not making it feel that way.

We were still able to prioritize fun on the weekends.

Instead of doing Christmas

where we have lots of presents and stuff like that,

we would focus on experiences instead.

It's not Christmas eve. - Oh, okay.

I thought that was Santa at the doors or something.

- And around middle school and high school,

my mom and me stopped getting along.

We would fight almost every day.

Sometimes it would get pretty bad.

The cops came to our house quite a few times.

She was really strict and that made me rebellious.

- Come in, you don't go around

like that with the camera, you just turn it off,

and then you leave it.

Are you off? - No, I'm waiting

for you to put it in.

I thought it was her problem.

I thought that she is just out to get me.

And I didn't realize

that she has her own mental health issues.

And so, I think if I could tell my younger self anything,

it would be to just be a little bit more understanding.

There's things that you might not know about her story,

about anyone's story, really

that impact how they interact with people.

- Growing up, I kind of always have struggled a little bit

with anxiety and depression.

Get very nervous just going outside, anywhere in public.

I don't like going to the gas station.

I don't like going to the grocery store, I literally can't.

I will literally go sit in my car,

freak the fuck out and be like, no,

and I've even done that with clubs.

I've literally driven up to a club, sat there in my car,

and I was like, fuck that, and drove away

because I was just kind of so anxious

and just could not get myself to step out of the car,

I had to really leave to calm down.

And I've even been working in the club

and ended up having to go home

just because it was affecting me that much.

If I could talk to myself when I was younger,

15, still in high school, still trying to figure stuff out,

is that even though you're lost,

you're going to figure it on out.

And even though people look at you differently,

you are going to find somewhere where you fit in,

you are going to find a community.

- When we moved to Vegas

after my grandmother died,

I started taking on a different role

as the parent, a second mom.

We had to come to Vegas from New York,

and it was just a really rough time.

My dad started falling apart.

I started realizing that things were getting really bad

around 12 or 13, we would go without lights, water, food.

I had to make sure that my brothers

and sisters made it to school,

all while trying to get myself ready for school.

And I would miss most of my schooling,

making sure that all of the babies made it to school first.

Most would think where was your mom at during all of this,

how could she let that stuff go on,

but ultimately, they were doing drugs together.

So she was weakened anyway.

It was a lot more struggles than happiness.

If I could say anything to my dad right now,

it would be that I'm happy

that we did go through what we went through,

but it was really tough on me being the oldest.

Excuse me .

I'm just happy that God made it me

to go through it with them,

because there's no telling where we would be

if it wasn't me.

Fuzzy hair .

- Thanks .

- My drug use and alcohol abuse started probably at 14.

- Go Mandy, go Mandy, go, yeah, ooh.

- Pills, coke, Molly, meth, alcohol.

I would chug liquor like it was nobody's business.

I would chug liquor like it was water.

The people I had met,

again they were six years older than me,

we would ride around all night, all day, all night,

all day, they would sell, I would sell for them.

We would do coke all night, we would do acid all day,

pop Molly, pop E, I would blink

and it would be a month had gone by

and I had no idea what had just happened.

I have been hospitalized

three times from overdosing. - Come on, Mandy.

- Whoa, Mandy, yes, Mandy, oh, smack that ass.

- Since I was a young kid hanging out with the big kids,

I just wanted to flaunt, I just wanted to brag

about the things I was doing.

I just felt the need to post it.

And also if I was selling it for other people

in order for me to have a place to stay,

that's what I would do.

Almost every second of it, I would document.

I would post all the crazy college parties I was going to.

At first it was, people were like, whoa,

this girl's life is so exciting.

And then, it started getting down to, wow,

you've lost a lot of weight, are you okay?

I had moved to Vegas and I weighed 100 pounds.

My priorities were still fucked up.

But as I started progressing,

I started dropping a lot of people.

I stopped hanging out with a lot of people.

I stopped partying, I stopped drinking.

So I quit drinking.

I am two months sober now.

No drugs, no drinking.

Being sober, I feel like I appreciate myself so much more.

The advice that I would give to my teenage self

would be don't change anything,

because if I didn't go through

what I went through as a teenager,

I would be going through it right now.

- But I kind of fumbled my bag a bit

and I lost my scholarship

because I wasn't able to maintain the GPA required

for that scholarship.

It took a really big toll on me.

Depression is a motherfucker.

It doesn't get easier,

and I don't think it will ever go away.

No one's talking about depression.

So it's only enabling the feeling that okay,

black people don't get depressed.

This is a real thing.

Black people are not allowed to be depressed.

We can't, we just deal with it, we gotta deal with it.

And since I was in that depression,

I started thinking about everything.

I was like, well, dang, you should be

on your way to graduation right now,

but you fucked up your scholarship for what?

You're a fuck up, that's how I felt.

You're undeserving of anything, you're undeserving of life.

And I took it upon myself

to take every prescription medication,

I overdosed on 30 plus pills.

The person who found me was my boyfriend at the time.

And had he not came,

I probably wouldn't be sitting in this chair,

saying this story today because I was

on life support for three days,

and just waking up, that's nothing,

but God, depression does not belong to a race.

It comes for everybody

and it comes in many different ways.

Suicide is definitely not the answer.

- Bow slightly, three, two.

Shit.

- I am fortunate that I have a partner in my life.

My partner is a photographer.

We have a lot of fun together, we laugh a lot.

I cannot laugh, okay .

Shut up .

We're both competitive.

We also clash because of that,

because he's a power dude and I'm a power woman.

Sometimes we're at odds.

We can go all day about the stupid TV.

You wanna know how much I disliked the TV,

because I was happily on my way

to go get the drill, remember?

And then you came over and tried to rub up behind me,

like, babe, can I go next door and buy the TV?

And remember I brought the drill over there,

and we've now been to three separate fucking Walmarts

where the drill doesn't grab the bit.

- So, that's you hate of my TV,

it's got to do with the drill? - Yeah, your TV is, yeah.

Okay, so, we're gonna

put that there, I don't want, babe, stop, no.

- How much I'm putting .

- I love bonding with my sister, it's a lot of fun.

It's great to know that she helps me

in a lot of different areas,

I help her in a lot of different.

Oh, yeah.

We used to always play cards together actually before,

even with our mom, we would play cards.

So when she comes over and we get to do that,

it's super cool.

- Shit, wait, whoa. - Don't fuck around,

I know what you've got.

- I thought you had a Jack, why did I think you had a Jack?

- I don't know, you saw what I had too.

- I did, stupid.

- Don't shoulder mount and Superman, if anything,

shoulder mount, leg hang, grab, Superman.

- Oh, okay, let's try that, let's try that, okay.

- Leg hang. - Rob.

- Up. - Bring it in, okay.

- Up, grab. - Superman.

- Superman, don't lock your feet, don't lock your feet.

- See, and that is where I get stuck.

- Point your toes, grab yourself up.

- And that's where I get stuck.

- She doesn't really do pole tricks that much anymore,

but she's very experienced, so when she does,

she's been doing this a lot longer than me.

So when she comes over,

I like to teach her and show her the stuff that I know

and the stuff that I've learned.

It's really fun to be able to teach her those things

because she is the reason why I do this in the first place.

- There you go. - That was really good.

- Did I do okay ?

- So, wait, okay, ready?

Come on, three, two.

I have a seven year old daughter, she's my pride and joy.

She came in my 12th grade year of high school.

I like that, hey.

The importance of family to me is everything.

They're the only ones who know my struggle.

Me and my brothers and sisters,

we get together very frequently,

whether it be dinner or going out.

But one of our favorite things

are just eating and vibing together.

It gives my daughter a chance to be around her family,

her uncles who love her so much.

And she loves them being around.

So, they really give her a lotta love.

They're everything to her.

Watching my brothers interact with my daughter

just makes me so proud that I was able

to one, bring up loving and caring men,

and for two, it just makes me so happy

to see that she's able to be a kid

and she's able to have fun and smile and laugh.

During this pandemic, it's really tough on me though.

I'm sure any parent could understand

what I'm going through with online school,

it's the most tedious thing.

10, so it's 10, 20? - 30?

- One, two, three, you have to look at the last number.

So if all the first numbers are the same,

look at the second number, good job.

Having a seven year old try and sit down all day

is the hardest job I've ever had in my life.

- Join the party.

- When I say my dad is my best friend,

I mean that my dad is my best friend.

- Up to it, down to it.

Fuck those that don't do it.

We do it 'cause we used to, drink,

mother fucker, drink, woo, woo.

- We can sit with each other forever and not say anything

or say everything and still have more to say.

My dad is always surprising me.

His stories, they go on and on and on.

And they're so interesting. - I was getting ready

to go on a new kids tour, and that's when they

had just designed this shirts

for the tour, you know what I mean?

We selling t-shirts on the tour.

- I thought you knew.

The relationship that I have with my little sister,

I try to set the best example for her as her big sister.

I try to be someone that she can confide in.

I also try to be someone that she can have fun with.

It's a crazy family, but we all take care of each other

at the end of the day.

- So, I'm an only child.

So, I have found myself placing a lot of value

on my friendships and investing a lot of time

and love into those friendships.

Doing photo shoots with my friends who are also sex workers,

is it's so different, the energy is different.

Goldie makes me feel so sexy

when I get in front of her camera, and it's always fun,

and I never feel drained afterwards.

Sometimes I need to be around people who understand,

because maybe I'm having a problem

that is so specific to how society views us.

- And stretch on out.

One thing that I love about stripping

is the people it's allowed me to meet,

like my friend Kevin.

You can choose your support system

through the friends that you have around you.

And having somebody there while we're all struggling through

what's going on in the world

can really just make a whole lot of a difference.

We all really need is a support system.

And some people have their families, some don't.

- With adult entertainment, you are bare.

Once you take that outfit off, it is what you got working.

And either it works or doesn't.

Getting my boobs for me

was the best investment I've ever made

because it improved my income dramatically.

And I don't think it was because of my boobs being big.

I think it was a confidence factor.

I think that when you are constantly under a microscope

and judging yourself,

when you do that little thing that makes you feel good,

it gives you that sense of inner confidence.

And that's what shows, that's what they're reading.

When you're in that environment,

they're feeling that energy.

Does this girl need my money or does she want my money?

And the girl that's hot, that's in control of herself,

oh, I want your money, but I don't need your money.

And that's sexy.

- I don't feel like bodies are some weird sexual thing

that you have to keep covered.

I just feel like it's just a body.

It's not that big of a deal.

And so, getting on stage and being half naked,

it just doesn't feel weird to me, it feels really natural.

I wouldn't get my nails done if I wasn't a stripper,

I wouldn't spend so much money on dyeing my hair.

I wouldn't be buying makeup.

I wouldn't be doing this stuff if I wasn't a stripper.

My day-to-day life, I don't wear makeup, I have a hard time,

I struggle with having long hair.

I think if I wasn't a stripper, I would've shaved my head

probably five years ago,

but it's something that I have to do to make money.

I am a luxury product.

So I have to spend time and money into being luxury.

I knew at a very young age that I always wanted boobs.

So it's something that I did for myself.

It has nothing to do with the strip club at all.

But I did go ahead after a few years

of working in a strip club,

get a breast augmentation and it made the money go up.

I started getting tattoos at a very young age,

which was a very bad decision.

All my tattoos were between the age of 15 and 19.

And I almost hate every single last one of them.

- Confidence is everything.

If you don't have confidence,

you are going to get ate the fuck up in this industry,

not just by the girls, but by the customers,

and yourself especially.

These strip clubs out here in Las Vegas,

all you see is plastic.

And that's a reason why I do so well

is because I'm not plastic, I have real features on me.

Perfect.

And you can squeeze my breasts

and not think you're gonna pop it.

The majority of the women in there have their breasts done

and they have some type of ass implant or a hip sculpted,

or maybe a rib or two taken out, shit, I don't know.

They look good though .

- I used to be a very depressed person.

I used to cut myself.

I used to do all types of crazy things.

And so, instead of harming myself, I'll go get a tattoo

if I really feel down.

And then the tattoo on my neck, it was on my 13th birthday.

I went to the hood, did it with a homemade tattoo gun.

It is my Zodiac sign.

No, it does not look like what it's supposed to look like.

- You can be your own biggest critic, honestly.

Sometimes I'm like, yes, I'm that bitch.

I look bomb, I look good.

My body really fluctuates a lot.

You're going to be thicker, you're going to be skinnier,

you're going to be stronger, you're going to be weaker.

All you can do when your body fluctuates

is just love it in every form it's in.

Another way that I love to express myself

is through my tattoos and body mods.

I started getting tattoos when I was younger.

My parents bought me my first one

when I was 16 for my birthday.

Just like the walls of my house,

I loved how I could take something the way

that I see the world and put it just right up on my body.

It's another way for me

to show what I'm about through piercing.

I do have my tongue split.

- Hi Ryan.

- I started playing hockey

when I was about five years old.

I liked being aggressive and pushing boys around.

It made me feel very powerful.

- Whoa, that was a shot.

- I really prioritize playtime.

I think playing just for the sake of play

is the best thing I can do for my mental health.

And so, being able to play hockey and get a workout in,

it's fantastic and it's so fun.

- When I light my sage,

It's the first thing that I do in the morning.

It gets rid of all the bad energies that's in the house.

I light my candles for peace and for protection.

It just helps me set the tone for my day.

If I don't do it, the whole day is out of whack.

- Anytime I can take a day off, get out the house,

be in the desert, hiking, fuck yeah, bring it on.

I try to keep a balance of being September

and being who I am at home.

And when you live in a city like this

that never fucking sleeps,

it is so hard to keep that balance.

- All right, can you hear me?

- Yes. - All right, cool.

We're gonna run it from the top, okay?

- Okay. - You ready?

- Mm-hmm.

Making music has been more of an eye opening experience

when I'm sober.

I am so much more clear headed.

I feel so much more inspired.

My whole entire life I was saying I've wrote poems,

and my vision is becoming a reality,

because now I can clearly see that vision.

I'm not drunk, I'm not high.

He'll send me beats and I'll go through them,

choose ones that I feel most inspired by.

And then, I will just start writing from there.

Like this song right here, I love this beat.

I started writing to it the other day

and I just instantly just started going at it.

And then now to finish the song,

I'm finding some interesting words

to use just to make it music.

If I'm having a creative block,

I'll open up the dictionary, just randomly.

I'll find one of the words,

and then I'll use that to start a verse with,

I'll go to Google and I'll try to other meanings

or other words that match with that.

I'll go to the thesaurus, flip through that,

see if I can find something more creative in there.

And I just try to fact check what I'm writing, just in case.

You never know if someone's gonna fact check you.

So, I fact check myself first.

- That was a great take.

- Okay yeah.

- I changed my degree to computational mathematics.

Not because I was good at math,

but because it was interesting to me,

and I really like reading math books,

books about math in terms of the universe.

And so, I don't like reading fiction,

I don't like reading stories about stuff.

- My love of reading, it followed all the way

into adulthood, to say the least.

I read every day.

If I am not physically reading a book,

I'm listening to a book on Audible.

I've currently just finished reading "The Metamorphosis".

I've read that book for probably the fourth time.

- I learned how to code Python in college.

And I've been teaching myself web design out of college,

JavaScript, HTML with CSS.

It just feels like another way to use my skills

and kind of abstract them and apply them to new things.

Right now, I'm working on a website, just my website.

It's been really fun to make just from scratch.

Chess is a really a mathematical, logical game.

And it's funny, I've actually started playing chess

with people from OnlyFans.

And if they lose, they have to pay me.

And if I lose, I send them a nude.

And I haven't lost yet.

- I used to watch "Being Mary Jane" a lot.

And I kinda took from her when she would write her quotes

on a sticky note and place them on her room window.

Whenever I'm having a rough day

or even if I'm not having a rough day

and I just walk past and I stop,

and it's normally the first one that I look at

that has the most relevance to me for that time.

And it's just another way of humbling me

and just another comfort, coping mechanism for my anxiety.

- My favorite thing to do on my time off

is absolutely nothing.

The club itself is the party.

I need to recuperate from the night before.

So a lot of times, I prefer to just relax,

smoke some weed, allow my body to recuperate,

not really force it to do so much.

- Just sleep, that's the best thing is sleep.

Just being here with my daughter, ultimately being a mom,

it's everything that I live for.

I got her a puppy almost two years ago now,

and her name is Sugar.

She has a very big personality for such a little dog.

She thinks she's a pit bull.

I think Sugar helped my daughter a lot

with not feeling alone.

- My little babies, this right here is Arya.

I have three cats altogether.

I also have a snake and a gecko,

my little scaly babies .

They definitely have helped me to stay grounded

and just kind of have something nice, and soft,

and so sweet to come home and cuddle up to.

- Denali .

Oh, well.

Huskies are really human like.

They are almost like monkey status.

Denali played a huge role

with the pandemic and my support system,

because she's so human like,

that I almost felt like she heard me and she understood me.

I don't think I chose Denali, I think Denali chose me.

- So, I live with two boys .

Where are they at, boys ?

They're brothers, I love them so much.

They bring me a lot of company,

they bring me a lot of joy,

and it's really nice having them around,

even though they fuck everything up .

You're so dirty, I feel so bad.

- Blake, Blake, Blake,

Blake, Blakey, he is my puppy, he's six months.

Just looking at him and how happy he is,

it really makes my heart smile.

- Bailey, shake, shake, nice to meet you.

We had horses when I was younger.

And the connection that I've had with Bailey

has been so special.

Good girl.

We've kind of grown together.

We were both kids when I first got her

and we were both teenagers at the same time.

And we both have angsty, bitchy personalities.

We just grew up together.

And so we would be running down the beach,

bare back in bikinis, and we would go in the water,

and we would go swimming afterwards.

And she was enjoying every single minute of it.

Zoey.

- I've never had stability growing up.

- So, we already talked about this prior

to coming here, but that's three bedrooms, two baths.

All right, so come on in, we have an open floor plan,

and then there is a next gen suite.

- It doesn't even look that big from outside.

- Yeah, I know, it's kind of a longer one.

I used to be in the industry,

I used to be a cocktail waitress at .

And so I know that your money is, it comes on the track,

it comes fast and it's in the bank.

So, what they can do is statements based loans.

So they're able to look at your bank statements

and determine what you make every day or monthly.

- I'm just trying to live my dream.

I'm trying to raise the best human that I possibly can

and make sure that my brothers and sisters

have somebody to look up to.

I'm just trying to do what I believe everybody

should be doing, and that's just living my best life.

I just want to live the rest of my life to the fullest

and embrace all my flaws, and all my struggles,

and everything that I went through because that's who I am.

- Everything was a choice for me.

It wasn't forced upon me and I happen to like being sexy,

and that's a choice.

So, not every girl wants to be a teacher.

Some women like to fucking take their clothes off

and make money, it's okay .

- I really enjoy dancing.

I really enjoy being able to turn someone on so much.

And at the same time, I'm not into it at all.

Me, myself, I'm queer, I'm pretty asexual.

The intimacy that I have with my friends is enough for me.

I don't need romantic relationships.

I don't need sex in my life to be a complete person.

It's not something that I crave.

And so, I don't feel the sexual attraction

that they're feeling regardless.

And so, it keeps me focused.

And at the same time, it's kind of ironic.

It's kind of funny.

There's so many stigmas around dancing

and around being slutty that are hard to conceptualize

when you don't have sex, I guess.

- It's the world looks down on us like crazy.

We need just more places where we

could be ourselves unapologetically

and just be able to strive and be successful.

- Don't really match my house though, gaso, gaso.

- Thank you

so much, congratulations on your new place.

- Thank you, I appreciate it.

What it's like having my first place is amazing.

I feel so much more stable.

I feel so much more happy.

I feel so much more responsible.

I have only started doing this, it's been what,

two, three months in the process of changing my diet,

changing my life, being sober, being clear headed,

and not partying.

It's all a work in progress.

- I've never really been the type to think too far

into the future.

I don't even know what I'm going to do tomorrow.

So, I just kinda take it day by day.

And I really try to live in the moment.

Always remember to keep yourself first.

Decision-making isn't easy, but it's necessary.

So, always try to make the best decision for you.

- So one thing about stripping,

I always say it has a shelf life.

Milk has an expiration date.

You gotta get out while you're still good,

before you expire.

You don't wanna be the girl that they threw you out.

You definitely wanna be the girl that said,

okay, I'm done, you're welcome .

- It's really cool to see

that some of the life is coming back into Vegas.

Some of the casinos are open.

Clubs are opening up.

People are out on the streets,

the streets aren't empty anymore.

There is a sense of hope that this city is resilient

and strong and that things will come back.

Vegas will be Vegas again.

It'll be full of people, packed clubs, all of that.

And a pandemic that's put the world to its knees

still can't get Vegas down.