Original subtitles

I tell you, every single...

It is not your concern!

You can't be serious about this!

Mother would turn in her grave if she knew...

What have you done to us?

Whenever you're ready, Mr Carter. Thank you, Ella.

Wainthropp Detective Agency?

Geoffrey! I'm on the phone!

I'm so sorry about that. My assistant's practising.

How can I help you?

James Carter? You remember.

He was found dead in his garden pond last month. Oh, yes. In fact...

I'm off to Janet's. Planning to give her a tune? I might. She'll enjoy it

There we are. The inquest was yesterday.

"Accidental death"? Who was on the phone? His brother Harry.

What did he want? That is what I am about to find out.

So, Geoffrey. Oh... Only I've arranged to see Janet, you see.

Well, I'll have to manage on my own. But you can drop me off. Come on.

Presumably you've heard of my brother's death.

He fell into a pond in his garden, I understand.

Did he?!

Look, I was going to pour myself some wine. May I offer you some?

Or something stronger, perhaps?

It's a bit early for me, Mr Carter.

But I wouldn't say no to some tea.

So what exactly are you telling me, Mr Carter? That you don't think this was an accident?

My brother was in poor health, Mrs Wainthropp.

He was due to go to hospital at any time for a bypass.

What he was doing standing by a pool 100 yards from his house, I can't imagine.

Did you tell the police this? Yes.

They said there was no sign of foul play.

You're not suggesting suicide, I take it? Of course not.

Because if it's murder we're on about, I have to tell you now that that's definitely police business.

But it isn't his death I want you to investigate, Mrs Wainthropp.

It's her. Her?

Ella Parsons. His so-called housekeeper.

Really knocked you out, didn't I? Sorry. I've got a lot on my mind.

Like what, for instance? The fact that I may be homeless next week.

I thought with this new job, all that was sorted. I won't see any money for weeks yet.

Most of me redundancy's been spent. Even so, it's more than I can manage.

Have you thought of advertising for somebody?

Yeah.

But you never know who you'll end up with, do you? What you really want is somebody you know, isn't it?

You mean, like a mate?

Ideally somebody you've shared with before.

Right.

I don't suppose you know anybody, do you?

Not offhand, Janet. But I'll certainly give it some thought.

Right.

She's devious and manipulative.

I have reason to believe that for the past two years, Ella Parsons has been robbing my brother.

Robbing him? My brother is a collector, Mrs Wainthropp.

I mean - coins, stamps, jade.

And since his death, certain items have... gone missing.

You have mentioned this to the police? Oh, no. No, no, no.

Quite apart from anything else, I felt I should check it first.

So...

Will you take the case?

Oh, we'll certainly check out Mrs Parsons for you. If I could have a few details...

Is she from this area?'

Yorkshire. Apart from that, he doesn't know much else about her.

Better get moving. She won't be here long, with her boss dead and buried.

Dead, but not buried. What? If the inquest was yesterday, they've only just released the body.

Man that is born of woman hath but a short time to live,

and is full of misery.

He cometh up and is cut down like a flower.

He fleeth as it were a shadow and never continueth in one stay.

In life, we are in death.

Of whom may we seek for succour but of Thee, oh Lord,

who for our sins art justly displeased.

Oh. Thanks very much, Geoffrey.

She's not back, then? Not yet, no.

Something on your mind, Geoffrey? No.

I have this mate, mind you, with a bit of a problem.

Oh.

He has this girlfriend with this flat, you see. Oh, yes?

Only...

She can't afford to keep it on. Not on her own, like.

And now she's on at him -

that is, this mate of mine -

..to... move in with her.

I mean,

she's not exactly asked him straight out, like. But he can see that's what he's hinting at.

I see.

I mean, purely to split the cost. Two being able to live as cheaply as one, as it were? That's right.

Only...

He has this...

Well...

aunt and uncle...

..who he lives with,

and doesn't think they'd approve. Mm. Difficult.

I'll say!

I suppose at the end of the day, it IS up to him, Geoffrey.

Well, I'd have said so, yeah!

I presume he is over 21? Well, no, he isn't. That's the other thing.

But he's old enough.

I mean, to make up his own mind about these things.

Right.

And I would have thought, without knowing the parties concerned... Of course.

..that this... uncle would understand that -

being a man of the world and seeing the practicalities of the situation.

Right.

But that still leaves the aunt, I suppose.

Right.

Mrs Parsons, isn't it? That's right. I'm Hetty Wainthropp, a friend of Harry Carter's. Oh, yes?

I gather you're from Yorkshire. Harrogate. Very nice.

I wouldn't say it was nice. Not where we lived.

The accident must have been a terrible shock.

Yes, it was.

Whatever happened, do you think? I can only assume he tripped and fell in and couldn't get out again.

It is quite deep, that pool. Overgrown.

Where does this leave you now?

Well, Mr Carter has asked me to stay on for a few weeks, just until everything's sorted out.

But, um, after that, I, er...

Quite a feast, Ella. Thank you. You've done him proud.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'd better organise some coffee.

It's mutual, then?

Your feelings for one another?

Would you like to see where my brother was found?

I thought it was a robbery I was investigating. Not a death.

It never does any harm, though, Mrs Wainthropp, having a complete picture.

It's a bit, er... smelly.

He'd let things go somewhat, I'm afraid.

How deep is it?

Six feet, I suppose.

Certainly deep enough to drown in.

He couldn't swim, I take it?

He always hated water.

Where was Mrs Parsons that afternoon?

Oh, gone to the shops - she says.

When did she last see him alive?

A couple of hours earlier. She said she gave him his lunch and left him there eating it.

What did she think he was doing this far from the house?

She said he often came down here when he wanted to think.

Did he?

Possibly.

Cape Town?!'

Say Johannesburg, if you'd rather.

I've never been within 2,000 miles of either so I can't see it matters, can you? There you are, then.

Whose crackpot idea was this? And what's crackpot about it?

How will my posing as James Carter's South African cousin help us?

It gains legitimate access to the house. And you can have a good root round when she's out of the way.

Access to the house?!

You say you've already made an offer on the place and Harry Carter has accepted it.

And because you're family - got it?

He's agreed to let you stay on

until the estate's been properly sorted out.

Oh, and your name's Tate, by the way. Robert Tate.

How's your South African accent, Mr Wainthropp? Non-existent.

Oh, that's no problem. You originally came from round here and never lost your local twang.

When's it happening? The sooner the better. You'd best both go and pack.

Both? Somebody has to push the wheelchair.

Wheelchair?!

You've been confined to one since your accident on the veld, right?

There was a stairlift at the house, that's what gave me the idea.

Wha.. Wha..

What advantage is there in me being in a wheelchair?

For a start, it's a perfect excuse to have Geoffrey with you.

Mr Carter's providing a car. What will you do all this time? Checking out a few things with DCI Adams.

Not bad, is it, having your own chauffeur-driven Rolls for a while?

I can think of places I'd rather be at this moment.

Oh, Geoff, you don't have to go raving mad.

Ah! Mrs Parsons, I presume? That's right.

Robert Tate. Harry did warn you? Oh, yes.

Accidental death, according to the coroner.'

And there's no doubt it was an accident? None at all. Why? What's your interest in Carter's death?

His brother Harry has asked me to look into it. Really?

Do you think he's being paranoid?

I don't believe the housekeeper pushed him in. That's what he suggested to us.

But did you check her out? Not even a parking ticket.

I take it Harry told you I'd be buying the house? Of course.

Did he also say I'd be looking for a housekeeper - once things are finalised? He didn't, no.

Well, what are your plans now?

I haven't made any yet, Mr Tate. It was all such a shock.

I'm sure. I was wondering if you'd be interested in staying.

If we find we get on, that is. That's very nice of you, Mr Tate, but you hardly know me.

Oh, but I do, Mrs Parsons. Oh? James often spoke of you in his letters. Always very warmly.

Oh, well, that's nice. He never mentioned you to me, I'm afraid.

I understood his brother was his only surviving family.

Oh, well... I suppose we're not cousins as such. More half-cousins, really.

I see.

Well, why don't we both think about it, eh? Yes. Thank you.

And now I'll show you your rooms.

So far, so good! As the man said as he jumped off Blackpool Tower.

As you can see, there is a lift.

Not that Mr Carter used it much.

He seemed to regard it as an admission of defeat.

Oh, not a great follower of doctor's orders, our James.

Not really, no.

That probably explains why he went into the garden that day.

More than likely. Thanks.

Right, then. Whenever you're ready, boss.

Whenever you're ready, Geoffrey. Pardon?

The chair! The chair! Oh, sorry!

All right for you? Ah yes, lovely.

In that case, if you'll excuse me, I'll organise some lunch.

Don't just stand there, Geoffrey. Go and fetch the bags.

Yes, sir.

Ah! All right for you?

My favourite, Mrs Parsons. And mine. Yours is in the kitchen, Geoffrey.

Oh, right.

Yummy.

Oh, thanks.

About your offer, Mr Tate. Oh, yes?

Would it be on the same terms as Mr Carter's? Of course.

In that case, I might be interested. Good.

And, er... Thanks very much.

Thank YOU.

Oh and, er... if you could lay your hands on any references.

The ones you provided for James would do.

But of course.

Robert!

How's it going? Well, she's agreed to stay on.

Good.

Isn't it?

Just as long as I never have to explain that there isn't a job at all.

We'll worry about that later. Did she find a reference?

Oh, that was quick. She's very organised. Both from addresses in Harrogate.

Yes, she said she came from there.

What else did you manage to find out? Not a lot -

except that she's a terrific cook. Roast beef for lunch.

Oh, that's nice for you.

How's Geoffrey doing?

Also eating royally, I trust?

Not quite as royally. Where is he, anyway? Gone to see Janet. Incidentally,

has he mentioned this mate of his to you yet? Mate of his?

And the little problem he's having?

Ay! Not a bad old banger, if you're into flash.

So, have you found anyone to share your flat with? 'Fraid not.

Have you thought of anyone?

'Fraid not.

You think these may be forgeries?

No-one called Houghton or Frodsham lives at either of these addresses

and it is a bit of a coincidence if they both moved within two years.

But not impossible?

Of course not.

Why not ring those who live there now, and ask?

If I had their names I could.

You can't get a number out of an operator without giving them a name.

Oh... So?

So I'll go to Harrogate and check.

The sooner the better.

I could get used to this!

What? At ten miles to the gallon?

Incidentally, I didn't tell you about this mate of mine, did I?

Oh, what mate might this be, Geoffrey?

Geoffrey's out, is he?

Day off.

Will you be all right if I pop to the shops for an hour? Oh, yes.

In that case, I'll see you later.

Right.

'What would you advise him to do?'

Oh, I'm the last person your mate would ask for advice, Geoffrey.

But if it was you who was asking... Yeah?

..I'd say the one person he'd be most likely to have trouble with

would be his uncle.

Very staid - men of that age.

You think his aunty is more broad minded?

In my experience, women are more realistic about things than men are.

Right!

As long as he makes it quite clear that it's just the rent they're sharing.

Right.

Only me, Mr Tate. I forgot my purse.

Oh, dear.

Are you all right, Mr Tate?

Huh? You seem a bit breathless.

Oh, it's... It's the Lancashire climate, after Africa - gets to me chest a bit.

Oh, no!

Come on!

Nobody called Houghton lives here. Have any Houghtons ever lived here?

I don't think so. Well, not for the ten years we've been here.

I'm sorry to have bothered you. Thank you.

So? They've never heard of anyone called Frodsham, Mrs Wainthropp.

Well, there's a surprise

Still not back, young Geoffrey?

Er... not yet, no.

He's a lucky boy to be given use of a car like that on his day off.

It's not much use to me, really, without Geoffrey to drive me.

He's a good lad, you know, totally trustworthy.

And local too, from his accent.

Er... well... I booked him through an agency before I left South Africa.

He was waiting for me when I arrived.

You don't sound very South African yourself.

No, well I prided myself when I was over there in my northern accent.

Couldn't stand it when new arrivals talked as if they were born there.

Which part of South Africa was it?

Johannesburg.

Or Jo'burg, as we used to call it.

My friend's there!

R-R-R-Really?

She lives in a place called... What was it again? ..Hillbrow.

No!

That's where I lived, Hillbrow.

Good Lord!

Small world, eh?

Isn't it, though?

Well, you must be bored out of your mind, stuck inside all day.

Would some fresh air help?

Why not?

That's where they found him? Yes.

Are you warm enough? I think so.

Will you be OK while I put the kettle on?

Yes, that's a wonderful idea.

I'll leave you to it, then.

Right, Geoffrey, I want you to give Robert a ring

and arrange a meeting to bring him up to date.

If he can be dragged away from Mrs Parsons' cordon bleu cooking.

Stapleton Hall. Mrs Parsons, it's Geoff. Is Mr Tate there, please?

He's out in the garden. Can I take a message?

Tell him I'll be back soon, please.

I can get him to call you.

No! ..No, I'm in a payphone. Bye!

Oh!

Wainthropp Detective Agency.

Who was it? Dunno - they cut me off.

Wrong number, obviously.

You know what to do, don't you?

Dial 1471 and it tells you who it was who rang.

Hello.

It's me. Hi, Janet.

Have you had any thoughts yet?

Thoughts? About this flat business.

I'm busy at the moment. Can I ring you back?

OK. See you then.

Will you tell DCI Adams the references are fake?

We need to find out more about Ella Parsons. How do you intend to do that?

It's not how I intend to do it - it's how YOU intend to do it.

That's Mr Tate's cocoa, is it, Mrs Parsons?

That's right.

I'll take it up for him.

Very well.

Thanks.

Ah! Nothing like a cup of hot cocoa to help you sleep.

Not this one, Mr Wainthropp.

Geoffrey! GEOFFREY!

Shhh! Shhh!

Dabs, Mr Wainthropp.

A perfect set, I'd say.

Found something, Mrs Wainthropp?

All I've got to go on so far are suspicions.

The minute they become something else, you'll be the first to know.

You better have very good grounds for asking me to do this.

I've been accused of lots of things over the years,

but wasting police time has never been one of them.

Her name isn't Ella Parsons, it's Anna Lithgow.

She got nine months for robbery a few years back

and GBH on the policeman who arrested her.

Oh, and she isn't married either.

Perhaps it's just as well. Right, Geoffrey, drop me at Chez Renoir.

Chez Renoir? That's right.

I'm lunching with Mr Carter.

So she's not only a fraud, she's a pretty dangerous one too.

It seems like it. And what did the police say?

Oh, DCI Adams was all for pulling her in at once, of course,

until I talked him out of it.

How did you manage that?

By pointing out that they'd blow our cover

and miss nailing her for something more serious than false references.

We've got 24 hours to come up with something.

After that, it's out of our hands.

Thank you, George.

If she was stealing from the house, isn't it likely she still is?

It's a possibility.

And, if so, how is she disposing of the stuff?

A bit risky, I would have thought -

touting for a fence in an unfamiliar area.

Much better to stash the stuff

and then get rid of it on home turf, so to speak.

She made regular trips to Yorkshire, allegedly to visit relatives.

If she is hiding it in the house, it certainly isn't in her room.

There must be lots of other places - outhouses and such.

Places my brother wouldn't dream of going into.

Worth checking, I would have thought.

Right, I'm off. Back about teatime.

Going somewhere nice? Just the cinema. See you later.

Robert, make a start on the garages. Geoffrey, have a sniff round the attic. I'll check the back.

Found something interesting?

Are these yours?

Certainly look familiar.

And they're damp, as well.

No prizes for guessing how they got like that.

If the smell's anything to go by... Oh?

The pond, Mrs Parsons.

The one James Carter drowned in.

Or should I call you Miss Lithgow?

You're very good, Mrs Wainthropp.

I must consult the Wainthropp Detective Agency when I need somebody.

Presumably you're working for Harry Carter?

Yes, I am.

The only person you'll be consulting will be a solicitor.

Are these the clothes you were wearing on the day he drowned?

I'm sorry?

What happened, Miss Lithgow?

Did he prove to be more of a handful than you thought? Is that why you both ended up in the water?

You think I drowned him. Did you?

You're mad!

Let's see if the police think so.

No! Not until you've heard what I have to say.

Why would I want to drown him? I'd just agreed to marry him.

Married? To my brother?

The original confirmed bachelor? Ha, ha! It's ridiculous.

Even confirmed bachelors can get married, Mr Carter.

Not my brother, Mrs Wainthropp. He was terrified of women.

Where is La Parsons or Lithgow or whoever she is? Locked away, I hope.

Upstairs in her room.

But the police are on their way.

These are for you. If you're half as good a detective as I suspect, you might find them interesting.

Mr Wainthropp, next time you pretend you're from Johannesburg,

don't tell people you're from Hillbrow. My black friend there says you'd look most out of place.

'I think that covers it, '

don't you? Thanks very much.

Thank you very much, Mrs Wainthropp,

for a job well done.

Or were we just lucky, Mr Carter?

You must admit, it was lucky, finding that damp clothing. I couldn't understand it really.

How do you mean?

Well, Anna Lithgow, leaving it around like that.

A bit careless for such a careful woman.

Well, presumably she never thought anyone would come looking for it.

She claims that the clothes went missing from her room in the last few days.

She planned to wear the skirt for the funeral and had it dry cleaned.

When she came to put it on on the morning of the funeral, it had gone.

That and the blouse I found.

That's what she said, is it?

Oh, and she can prove it.

That skirt was dropped off at the cleaners less than a week ago, with some curtains.

Being a meticulous housekeeper,

she kept the receipt for the household accounts.

This is the receipt.

As you see, the list of items includes a skirt.

Nothing here says it was the skirt you found.

They remember it at the cleaner's.

You Carters and anybody associated with you

were the talk of the town.

What does all this prove?

It's not so much what it proves, Mr Carter, as what it suggests.

Suggests?

That that clothing was deliberately planted for me to find.

By the same person who put the idea into my head of searching the outbuildings.

Now you're being ridiculous, Mrs Wainthropp.

Am I? You and your brother argued the night before he drowned. You could be heard all over the house.

Did she tell you?

What was the row about, Mr Carter?

Had he told you he was going to get married, to her of all people?

You could see your inheritance being lost to her.

That's preposterous.

Do you know what I think happened?

I think you came back the next day to take it up with him again.

Only you found her out shopping,

and him all alone by that pond.

The row got out of hand. He ended up in the water, and you left him.

That's an outrageous thing to say.

You'd have got away with it if you'd just taken the money and run.

But it wasn't enough. You had to get even with her.

It was all her fault.

If she hadn't come into your lives,

he'd no need to have died, had he?

Poetic justice - fitting her up for his murder.

You can't prove a word of this, Mrs Wainthropp, not one word.

Perhaps I can't.

But then, I don't need to, do I?

As I told you, we don't do murder, Mr Carter.

We leave that to the police.

I don't think they'll have much trouble over this one.

Oh?

Whoever planted that clothing,

must have left fingerprints all over that greenhouse door.

Had a bit of a job getting it open.

If they turn out to be your fingerprints,

whatever were you doing in that particular greenhouse of all places?

Have you outlined your theory to the police yet, Mrs Wainthropp?

I was just about to actually.

Were you really?

Bit late for that, sir.

Already done and dusted, that door.

What happened to your roller? Back with the real owner.

Not that he'll be doing much driving, mind you.

Have you sorted out this problem?

Problem solved, Geoffrey. Oh.

'What niggles me is the way'

he tried to use us to frame that poor woman.

His fatal mistake, Robert.

Never underestimate a Wainthropp. Right, love?

And we got paid.

And I suppose if nothing else, I had a taste of the highlife. That roast beef and Yorkshire pudding...

I had the duck at the Chez Renoir,

and a very nice Chablis.

Not that it was a laughing matter. You could have been in real danger.

In future when we say no murders,

we mean it, OK?

And don't tell me it wasn't a murder we were investigating. All right?

All right, Robert.

You're early.

Fancied an early night.

I thought you were seeing Janet.

I've SEEN Janet. You haven't had a row, have you?

Of course not!

How's your mate getting on with his little problem?

All sorted.

Oh?

Seems his girlfriend found somebody else to share the flat with.

Some other fella.

So, like Janet said...

..problem solved.

Oh, dear.

Subtitles by BBC Subtitling, 1998