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Daddy.

I bet it'll be all black and blue by tomorrow.

Let me see.

Wow, it's even more swollen than before.

Damn, Jesse, why would you walk into a door?

I'll say my man beat me up.

A packet of Tigras, please.

Usually, it's the other way round.

Yeah, who on earth would walk into a door?

Thank you.

Where shall we go for breakfast? Farine's?

You can't smoke there.

How about Jimmy's? - It burned down.

You don't say? When? - I dunno.

I felt like sitting at a terrace, but it was all cordoned off.

Anyway, the grub was lousy there. And it was filthy. I heard that...

Enough. It's bound to be disgusting. - It was disgusting...

I thought you were dead.

Here. We're out of oranges.

I had an awful dream... - Oh yes? I wonder why.

What're you dawdling around here for? And change those trousers.

They're jeans. - They're still blue.

The headmaster says they're not allowed.

The headmaster's queer. - Charlie!

No, no, no. No radio.

Yes, the radio. - No!

Fighting again, are you?

Yes.

How come?

He doesn't need me.

You don't need him either, do you?

Chouki... Drop it! OK?

Just do what I do. Stay single.

Hey, Firmin. Does this go under the desk?

Yes, but be careful, OK? - Yeah, yeah.

You don't know the half of what people say behind your back.

Just as well.

I'd be even more big-headed.

My father used to say: "It's better to have people say bad things about you

than nothing at all."

Whenever I did something wrong,

my dad would say: "Sandrine, I'm not cross, I'm disappointed."

I hated that. - What made you bring that up?

It just popped into my mind...

I'd have preferred it if he'd been angry.

Soap.

On the washcloth.

What?

You know I can't stand that synthetic rubbish.

Just don't do it again, OK?

OK. OK.

OK, ciao...

Show off.

Let's go.

Come along, sweetheart.

Now we're going up.

Paul, why does Charlie always have this muck on his fingers

when you take him to the dentist's? - It's to stop him biting his nails.

His fingers are going mouldy. - From biting them.

It's good for my teeth.

The dentist doesn't give a damn about his teeth. They're fine.

Maybe you should take him to your manicurist...

Don't be so bad-tempered.

You get on my nerves.

You're not being very nice to me. - I'm not nice, period.

And stop switching languages. The kid will end up speaking neither one.

You've got a nerve. You're the one mixing up the languages.

Same way you get everything mixed up.

Who do you think you are, Paul? You're 52 years old,

and since you finished that book, it's as if you wanted to finish with me, too.

I refuse to be a character in your epilogue! I'm your wife.

Oh, stop your whining. - Yes, mum. Stop your whining.

Why is he going to the cellar?

Charlie, for Christ's sake!

It's the other door for up. - I know that.

Antwerp, a Friday in June

Here we are.

Mr Garcin, Mr Garcin...

I know who stole the money from the sale of the hot dogs!

What are you studying, Eyskens? - Classics, sir.

Then you know the meaning of the word "sycophant".

No, sir.

"Bootlicker" is a somewhat free translation, but it gives the general idea.

Look it up and you can explain it to the class next week. Understood?

My regards to your grandfather.

"I too used to consider the future

to be the sole competent judge of our works and acts.

Only later did I understand

that flirting with the future is the worst sort of conformism,

cowardly flattery of the strong,

for the future is always stronger than the present.

It is indeed that by which we shall be judged,

albeit without competence.

But if the future has no value for me, to what do I accord importance?

God?

The homeland? The people?

The individual?

My answer is as ridiculous as it is sincere:

I am attached to nothing,

except to Cervantes' decried heritage."

Yes? - Sir, it's a nice text,

but isn't it a bit complicated?

Did you enjoy the text, Eveline? - Yes, sir.

And did you understand it all? - Not all of it.

Well, that's just perfect.

Where do you want to be dropped?

At the Institute for Tropical Medicine.

I thought you didn't go there anymore?

What are you going to do?

What? - What are you going to do there?

I'm going to pick something up.

What?

One of these days, you're going to get caught.

One of these days, you're going to get caught.

I'm going to die.

Goddammit, stop your bullshit.

I was only joking. - Well, it's not funny. OK?

Oh, come on.

Jesus, what's this? - Nice one, mate.

What's happening?

Look. There're some guys in there.

You're not serious? - There. Look.

Check this out. Brilliant!

Hey, what happened? - What a question...

Chouki, that...

How did it happen? - What?

I don't understand. - There's a bastard taking photographs.

Here, grab my hand.

I'll try to open the door, OK? - What's wrong with my foot?

Stay calm, man. - OK, I'm calm.

I'm being crushed!

Hurry up!

OK. Let's try again. - It's not going to work.

Idiot!

I think she's angry.

I'd say disappointed. Some list!

Cretin, Judas, and then idiot. Bit of an anti-climax, eh?

I only said: Basel, maybe. New York, it depends, and Chicago

is out of the question. Her latest work is just not good enough.

But you promised her.

No, I just said that the latest work isn't good enough

and that she shouldn't panic...

What's-his-name always used to say that, too.

He'd say...

You say that to everybody. But you did promise...

Maybe years ago, at some party, when I still drank.

You still do.

Much less.

Is she another member of your harem?

Sandrine, "harem" comes from the Turkish "harim" which means "sacred", "forbidden".

Nothing sacred nor forbidden between me and her.

So? - So what?

I have a sort of Warholian thing with her.

Warhol was queer.

Warhol was above all very vague.

You couldn't say that about you. Anybody can see right through you.

Is there any merit in being vague?

I'm not the one who said you were vague. You're just trying to confuse the issue.

Sandrine...

Idiot.

Oh, no.

Jeez.

Good morning, sir. Police and art!

An initiative of our new chief of police.

From November on, several projects in and around Antwerp

will present our profession in an artistic light.

Bruce Nauman said: "Art should raise questions".

That is why the Antwerp police have asked Nauman to place

a video installation in the canteen in Begijnenstraat.

And Christo is going to wrap up our offices in Quinten Metsijslei...

I hate those cops.

Where have those chicks gone?

When did they leave?

Shit, man, that little blond was a real looker.

I couldn't remember her name.

I kept on asking, then I didn't dare to any more.

How sweet. - What?

Nothing. Forget it.

Iris, Irène... When did they leave?

Sigrid. - Sigrid! That's it.

It's one of those names that just won't stick.

That sounds nothing like Iris. - What was yours called?

Awful woman.

A beautiful woman always has an ugly sidekick.

How did they get here?

You begged them to come.

And when did they leave?

Jesus, Fré, I'm not your goddam biographer. They just left, that's all.

The capital of Nigeria? - Lagos.

Abuja.

Come on, let's start pasting. - Just a second, I have to shit.

Shitting, pasting, shit, paste...

Any new Kiss records? - Come off it, Dario,

even if they did release a new record, I wouldn't stock it.

Luc sells dance music.

Well, well, Bolland's here too.

It's the dance music snob convention.

I dance to Kiss.

Maybe so, but here they sell electronic music.

Ah, electronic music.

I thought Kiss didn't exist anymore. - What?

He said... - I heard what he said!

I'll go to a place where they sell mechanical music then.

Gentlemen,

mum's the word!

This'll be the third time you move this year.

I know. I'm sick and tired of it.

What about your daughter? Are you taking Julie with you?

I can't, Jesse, not on my own...

It's that guy who always smiles at me so nicely.

Subtle smile.

Such a good-looking guy.

Come on, Lara, let's go and eat.

We'll go to the "Daily Bread".

That singer will be there.

No. I've heard he's in Italy.

Imagine living with that!

Pffft, I feel like I'm losing the plot.

Maybe I should just live alone...

Eat your eggs, Lara.

...and study photography.

Hey, Lara. How are you? - Bob. I didn't notice you.

Me neither. I mean, not at first. Then I did, of course.

And, err, how are you?

Fine. Off to work.

Well, work. Well, phew...

What?

Him. Him. Good singer, eh?

He's on about the singer. - Oh, yes!

We were just talking about him.

And apart from that, how are you?

Fine. And you?

Err, busy, busy, busy...

You know what it's like, eh? - That's good.

Right, then,

I'd better be off. I've got lots of things to do.

See you around? - Yes.

Or not? - Yes.

Ah. Bye, then.

Institute for Tropical Medicine

Hey, Chouki. Haven't seen you for a while.

Hello, Robert. Since the funeral, I suppose.

Yes. How's it going?

Have a seat. - No, no. I'm fine.

We miss your father.

We miss him.

Is there anything I can do for you?

Yes, I've come for his lab coat. It should be here.

Are you sure? I thought we'd given everything back...

Everything except his lab coat.

I'll go and see, but I don't hold out much hope...

Maybe in the cupboard.

I'll have a look.

I was looking for a Coke...

Well? - I didn't find it...

What? You didn't find it? - No, I'm sorry.

Right, I'll have to look at mum's. Sorry.

No trouble.

You're always welcome. We miss you, too. You used to be here all the time...

How's the work going? I've read some impressive things about you.

Mr Schoesetters!

Mr Schoesetters!

Natalie, I'd almost given up hope.

Sorry I'm late, there was an accident.

I did call you, but there was no answer.

Tell me, what's the problem?

Problem?

With the computer.

Ah, yes...

The computer, of course.

Yes, I'm trying to...

That's to say, yesterday, I was in...

This new upgrade... I don't understand how...

But I explained it to you last week.

No, no. I mean, yes, you explained it, but...

Listen, Mr Schoesetters, I've got a busy day ahead of me,

I have 3 other clients to see, and by this evening I have to...

If I explain it now, I may have to come back

again next week... - What's happening this evening?

I'm throwing a little party.

Where?

Mr Schoesetters... - Yes, excuse me.

Sorry.

A Coke, please.

So I just fish it out again. There.

Get out now. - I beg your pardon?

That's what I pay you for, you stuck-up bitch.

Lie down on your back.

Is this your first treatment?

First time I've had my bones popped? - First treatment, yes.

Yes.

Will you warn me when you make them pop?

Tina, please!

First of all, I relax the muscles.

That feels good...

Excuse me a moment.

Tina, please. You know I'm busy next door.

I know, my love, but it can't be helped.

What's this? - I think it's a blue tit.

It's not a blue tit, it's a sparrow.

Goddammit!

Darling... I'll do it, you go back.

I'm sorry about that.

Where is it? It's gone.

How long have you had this problem?

For a few weeks.

Do you do much exercise?

Not over the last few weeks.

Say, have we met before?

You've seen my upside-down face before?

They're shooting at Sadat, they're shooting at Reagan, they're shooting at the Pope.

The Pope, that's right. Didn't he pardon that guy?

Yeah, right. It failed. Didn't you see it on TV?

You know, the Turk said: "Sorry, sorry".

And the Pope: "Oh, forget it. It doesn't matter." Ridiculous.

Hey, the Pope has been around since before I was born,

and he's still around now. Respect. I mean it.

Jacky Ickx wins Le Mans, there's an antimissile demonstration in Brussels,

they blow up the Hoveniersstraat, here in Antwerp,

Borg plays against McEnroe in the Wimbledon final.

Yes, and he won. - No. McEnroe won.

After that, Borg retired. He was 25.

Jeez. Retired at 25.

Yes. And then he sank into depression.

At 25? - Yes.

Jeez.

And why?

Why? I don't know. What's got into you?

You're really weird, today. - I'm not weird.

Yes, you are. - What d'you mean, weird?

Yes, definitely weird. - You're the weird one.

Ah, Pierre, what are you doing here?

Your ash is going to fall.

You're not working today, are you?

There's a problem.

Oh?

There's a big scratch on the Cronenberg copy...

I haven't used it yet today. - On all 4 reels.

A line on the right of the image.

It was perfect yesterday.

I'm serious, Walter. It's no laughing matter.

I taught you everything.

Are you serious?

Walter, do you remember when they used to write how long a film had run

outside on a poster?

"The Guns of Navarone": 26 weeks.

Then it would move into the small auditorium.

"The Guns of Navarone": 52 weeks!

What's wrong?

The copies are insured, I've got a small deductible...

There was a scratch on the film. - Pierre told me about it.

Pierre is an old man. He wants to end on a high note.

38 years as a projectionist...

He never could stand me.

You were the last one to use the film.

That's right. And there was nothing wrong with it yesterday.

Pierre will replace you today.

And tomorrow? - Tomorrow as well.

Are you going to fire me, Guido?

It's not the first time this has happened.

During my training? That wasn't my fault... It was Pierre...

Pierre what?

Come on, Guido, you can't fire a person for that.

How the hell did that scratch get there? - Bad winding?

That doesn't make a line, Guido! At worst,

it breaks the film. - What then? Pierre?

I want to see that copy.

I sent it back. Sorry, Walter.

Sorry, my ass.

Do you really think so? I think he looked more like a penguin...

Are you going to the party, this evening?

I wasn't invited. - Neither was I.

Are you going? - Walter is DJ.

What about your daughter, Lara? Do you still see her?

She's at Walter's parents. But tomorrow...

You don't see her very often, do you?

Sometimes she spends the whole weekend with me.

A whole weekend.

What business is it of yours, anyway?

Thanks.

Erwin, could you take off those shoes?

It's mashed potato. It doesn't melt under the spots.

I'm ready, thank you.

What a bitch.

Drop it, Jesse.

Oh, sorry.

Miss? - Yes?

Have you got "Le Salaire de l'Ennui" by Paul Garcin?

Paul Garcin...

Do you know when it was published?

June 11th, La Presse de Saint-Germain.

You're well-informed.

No. It's been withdrawn. But I can order it for you...

Order it?

Paul Garcin, my God...

Ah, Van Immerseel...

I thought you were dead. - And?

I heard...

You were very ill, weren't you?

But, here you are... - Yes.

Fancy that!

When I left the school, I called you. Your wife answered.

I couldn't remember her name. - Elsie?

Yes. So I hung up. Silly of me, wasn't it?

Then I heard that you had cancer.

Well...

Well, it's... It's good to see you again.

You called? She didn't tell me.

Well... of course not.

Well.

Excuse me, I must be getting on.

If I had died every time I thought I was going to die,

I'd be seriously fucked by now, you know.

Watch out for the cops. - Alright, mate.

For Christ's sake. Lazy bastard!

Shit, the cops!

Who gets nicked if the cops show up?

Lazy bastard!

Is it too much to ask you to keep your eyes open?

What's going on in your head?

What the hell do you think you're doing? - Quit nagging.

Felix, you idiot!

What suspense...

He's used to it.

Where do you go? - Over there.

Over there? - Yes.

Idiot!

It is forbidden to run in the gallery.

What did he do? - Pasting posters.

Are you joking? Right? - Yes...

Hello, Princess.

Shouldn't you be at work?

Yes. I just felt like going to collect her.

But shouldn't you be at work?

Yes, mum, I'm going. I just wanted to see her.

It doesn't bother me, you know, picking her up from school.

Yes, mum. I know.

I'll come and pick her up tomorrow. - OK.

Goodbye.

I had nothing to do with it. - What happened to that film?

Ask Guido. It has nothing to do with me. He asked me to replace you. I came.

And I'm out of a job. Satisfied?

Watch what you say, Walter. You have no reason to accuse me.

I don't make mistakes like that!

What sort of scratch was it? Was it regular, or...

I didn't see it. He called me. I came.

What? You didn't see the damaged copy? - No.

Then how did Guido... - Draw your own conclusions, I'm off...

With a "Q". Frédérique, with a "Q"...

That's a girl's name, that is. - You can talk, "Nicole".

It's "Nico". Undo your laces.

It's Velcro, Nicole... All the rage in the eighties.

Worried I might hang myself?

How would I know? Empty your pockets.

For sticking up a poster! You've got to be joking.

I know. But this is the sixth time.

Call this a city. - You'll be going before the prosecutor.

Ah, the prosecutor, he's back from the Tyrol?

Yes, and apparently he had good weather. Patrick saw him...

Listen, Frédérique. I'll tell you something...

I'm not like that.

Isn't there another cell?

Nicole?

Friday...

4 p.m....

21...

Freezer temperature back to normal.

Mice calm.

The one on the left has a slight squint.

It must be due to Kemp's infection. Nothing abnormal.

Oxidation, petrol pump sensitive.

Hamster still not decomposing.

Incredible!

The copper is not oxidizing,

so: new biotope, new laws.

Brussels exhibition cancelled, work seized.

Martin hasn't spoken to me for over a week...

Well...

Potentiometer attached to hamster, measured tension,

enough to light a lamp.

So death is another form of... - Chouki!

Natalie! I'm here, in the back.

Come out here. - Yes, just a minute.

It stinks in here.

Are you alright? - Where's that rabbit?

You're looking at it.

Haven't you got work to do?

I cancelled a few clients.

Do you mind closing the door? - Oh, sorry.

You're still wearing that lab coat. - Yes.

It's weird to see you here.

I...

This morning, when you went to dad's lab...

We never talk about it.

How come we never talk about it?

I don't mean what you went there to get.

That's your business, but...

Why do you never tell me how you feel?

You never ask me. - Yes I do,

but you just ignore me.

Or you make some cynical remark.

It's just that I...

I don't know...

how I'm supposed to feel... or how I can...

I don't know...

I miss him so much.

It doesn't seem to affect you.

Sorry.

Sorry for what?

Sometimes I get so scared.

With all these things here.

Forget it. I've had a lousy day.

You could always throw a party.

Thanks for reminding me.

Is Firmin coming?

I'll introduce you, don't worry. - No, no. Forget it.

Why did you ask then?

If you could choosebetween physical tenderness

and an intellectual discovery, which would you prefer?

I believe that everythingis an intellectual discovery,

including the decision to be tender.

When are you going to paint this place?

Next week. In blue.

Why not black? - Blue.

When is she arriving?

She's here... No, can't be.

God, I look awful.

Better than yesterday.

Great. When I turned 32, I shaved all my hair off.

You know what my mother said? "It's much better like that".

What does she look like?

I dunno,

it's been a long time.

But she used to be beautiful.

Were you in love with her?

How do you express emotion?

I don't know. It's difficult to explain.

At the cinema. When nobody's looking.

What do you prefer? To admire, or be admired?

Admiring oneself

is a bit like

fleeing one's responsibilities.

What do you think about love, Mr Delvoye?

It's hypnosis.

Being in loveis a form of self-hypnosis.

It's a threat disguised as an invitation.

How do you feel about promiscuity?

I think you should be faithfulas much as possible.

Do you prefer the love of one womanor the love of a large audience?

The love of a large audience,

because the mass is greaterand it takes longer to cool down.

But even that cools down in the end.

Successful creativity acts like a drug.

Are you hooked, Mr Delvoye?

I think creativity is hookedon applause.

Do you know what makes a womanhappy in a relationship?

Yes.

Happiness just has to be grabbed?

There's no need to grab it, or evenstoop down to pluck it.

You either have it, or you don't.

Are you often on the run?

What a day!

Come dancing with me later.

I've got an appointment.

A date? - You could call it that.

With a guy? - Imagine that.

How long have you known him?

A few days.

Why didn't you tell me?

You're going to move. You never tell me anything, either.

What does he look like?

He's not exactly good-looking, his head's a bit large,

but he's full of charm.

And he lisps when he's drunk. It's so sweet.

That's great.

Yeah, we'll see...

What about your black eye?

I'll buy some glasses.

You'd better hurry up, it's nearly closing time.

Really? - Yes.

So, these people live together 50 years in the mountains...

Everything's good, good air, good soil, everything nice and healthy.

They don't drink, they don't smoke,

so nothing can go wrong.

And after 50 years, these people die together,

the very same week, from lung cancer.

Well, it's possible.

Yes, it's possible, but...

it's still mind-boggling. - I don't understand.

I don't understand. - Alright. Just forget it.

You and your non-stories.

Are you buying food for everybody?

Just the basics. People will bring drinks.

They bring a bottle of wine and drink your vodka. I know how it goes.

Would you like a crisp? - Leave them alone.

But the people here look so unhappy. - Perhaps they are unhappy.

What, all of them? - Yes, all of them!

Excuse me, madam, are you unhappy?

Not at all. My son has just got his doctorate from Harvard.

He's a nuclear physicist.

What about you, sir? Are you unhappy?

Me? Far from it. But I've got a hernia and the trolleys are too low.

And you? - We're just in a bad mood.

See?

Look, soap for Walter.

I can't even wear my watch any more.

I never wear a watch. I hate them.

Don't speak with your mouth full.

You could wear it on the other wrist.

Well spotted, Charlie.

Dad doesn't need a watch. He's already had his time.

Mum's a bit mean, isn't she, dad?

Don't get them bickering.

Who do you think you are? Kofi Annan?

He's right. Charlie can be very manipulative.

Who is Kofi Annan? - Imagine

Kofi Annan at school, when there was a fight.

"Be nice to one another."

His English is good!

Yes, it's better than his French!

Who is Kofi Annan?

Do you have any troublemakers in your class?

No, only bootlickers.

You've connected that old thing again?

It's better than "toooooot".

Is Kofi Annan a bootlicker? - Kofi Annan is a mediator.

And?

It's OK. And he says hello.

Be careful next time.

What's OK?

Aids test.

Ah, Aids test.

He's sixteen. You can't stop him having sex at his age.

But he must be more careful next time and use a condom.

Don't speak like that in front of Charlie.

Next you'll be telling me that the kid masturbates.

What does "masturbate" mean?

Charlie, don't read at the table.

Thomas, will you keep an eye on your brother later? I'm going dancing.

What? You're coming with me? - No, you're coming with me.

How about going together?

I'll go and get ready.

Marina? It's Walter. Is Guido there?

No, I've been there. No, he's not at the cinema.

No, his mobile's off.

He fired me.

I don't know.

If you see him, tell him

to have the fucking balls to call me back.

Sorry, Marina. I know it's nothing to do with you. Ciao.

Watch out!

Thanks.

You've never played korfball?

Haven't you got a brother?

No, I haven't. I've got two big sisters.

And a gigantic mother. - No, the red.

I saw a microlight plane fly really low

over the town just now, and the pilot waved to me.

Did you wave back? - You bet. I went "Helloooooo".

Fré, do you know Benny? - No.

Fré, Benny. - Hello.

Benny's blind.

Yeah? That makes a change. I'm 1 m 90 tall

and I'm wearing a Stephen Sprouse suit.

Really? That's funny. - What's funny about it?

You sound more like someone who's 1 m 60 tall and wearing a pair of tight trousers.

Wow, a visionary blind man. - Let's drop the stupid blind men jokes.

You break, I'll play with Fiona.

What about me? - You play with me.

I don't suppose I have much choice.

No.

Here, that's for saving me.

Cheers. - Good health.

What do you think?

The more you wear them, the better I like them.

I'm going to wear them all evening.

I can't talk to the guy like this.

There's nothing to be ashamed of.

No, but it's cooler like this.

You sniffed both of them.

I'm sorry. - It doesn't matter.

There's a dealer who owes me some money.

Usually it's the other way round.

Yeah, who on earth would lend money to a dealer?

I'm going. - Already?

I'm late.

A woman should never be too early for a date.

And if the guy arrives late, he's done for.

I hope he's on time. - It'd be a perfect beginning.

It was in Rome. I was alone at night in the street,

and all of a sudden I was surrounded by 3 Italians,

acting stupid, pulling on my jacket and saying "Ciao bella".

What did you do?

I led them under a lamp,

as if to say: "Come on, let's move into the light..."

And then?

I started picking my nose like mad.

Good trick. What did the guys do?

They left.

Do you want half? - Yes.

Are you alright? - Yes.

Great party!

Natalie.

Hi, Dario. Take it easy tonight, OK?

Mum's the word, eh? - That's right. Mum's the word.

Hey, how are you? - Fine.

Are you Natalie? - Yes.

I'm Mario, the dealer. If you ever need...

err, business cards, I know a printer.

Capoeira!

Go on, Chouki. Let me introduce you. - No, really.

I hate to be pushed on someone. I can make a fool of myself on my own.

He's OK. I used to go to his gym. He gave me a discount.

Lucky for you. Look, he's flirting with a girl. He hasn't got time.

I'll suggest we sniff a line together.

Elsie, I'm shocked.

Does Paul know you take drugs? I don't even drink coffee.

I haven't taken any for ages. But I like to play the go-between.

He's claustrophobic, did you know that?

Who isn't? - No. I'm serious.

Nobody likes to be in a dark place with nothing to look forward to.

My husband does, in his office...

My marriage is fucked up.

The last time we had sex

was after Grün's header against the Dutch. When was that?

In '85?

That can't be right. My son is seven.

I don't know a thing about football.

Neither do I, but when the Belgians play...

It's fucked up. And I like her.

I think it's all over.

But you're a teacher, that's worth something.

You're talking about very intimate stuff.

Life deals you blows, the important thing is to stay beautiful.

What do you do? - Me?

Yes, it's the first time again. - That's true.

Girls are good at it, because it's an intuitive game.

I thought blind men didn't smoke because they can't see the smoke.

I've got my period.

Does that make you less intuitive?

You feel less like being intuitive.

Can you do that? She's moving the ball.

If the ball is touching the edge, you can move it the width of the cue.

Bocelli? - Yes?

Have you ever heard that? - In some "pawwish" centres, yes.

Don't tell me that on top of being blind, you can't pronounce the letter "r".

Leave him be. - The letter "r" isn't so important.

I guess not. And neither is having a view of the sea.

Frédérique, don't be so rude.

A view of the sea is something that

you can describe. But how do you describe a fugue by Bach?

You can't. The ear has a much wider range.

See? - No, but I heard.

What is it, Benny? Are you empathizing with the table?

No. I need to go to the toilet.

Come on, I'll take you.

And I suppose his car was in the bathroom? - Yes.

Put some Kiss on, mate.

Kiss! - Later, later.

Yes, no, wait sweetheart. I'm going outside. I can't hear you.

Oops. I tripped.

Are you coming? What d'you mean, no?

Go on, come.

Please come, babe!

What are you coming for?

Do you want one? - No, thanks.

You neither? Four of us here, and nobody wants a snort?

Alright, just a little one. - Elsie, I'm shocked.

Four of us in one toilet! - There's plenty of room.

Firmin's claustrophobic.

Everybody is. Name one person who...

Continue your story. How did the truck overturn?

I was busy taking photos, and then I noticed

that the back door was open. That's when I saw it.

Come on, Chouki, tell us what you saw.

Look for yourself.

A dead horse! Firmin! Be careful with the coke!

What d'you mean, "shush"? They must've guessed by now.

It fell against the van, died, and that flipped it over.

Unbelievable! - It's not possible.

Why not? Afterwards, I talked to those guys.

You should've seen their faces! Insane! Just before,

they'd delivered another horse, and that one dropped dead too!

Werner, the other horse, is dead too.

How come? - How would I know?

A horse called Werner?

Where did this other horse drop dead? - At a wedding.

Oh, come off it. A horse called Werner.

Hey, Paul! How are you?

You're looking well! Been to the barber's?

On an impulse. - Looks good.

I'm just glad somebody noticed.

And how are you? - Well.

I hardly know anyone here, but I'm glad Elsie came.

She took some persuading.

Really? - You know what she's like.

Are you alright? - Yes.

And you? - I'm fine.

How's Natalie?

How's Natalie? - Fine.

As long as she doesn't know I'm with you.

How's Walter?

He's with his ex.

He looks so tense.

Walter's always tense.

Did Julie go swimming on Thursday?

Yes. How do you know that?

He goes out too much.

During the week, I work in the evening, he works during the day.

And on weekends, he takes pills and gets pissed.

I said to him "Come on, this is no relationship".

I can't take it anymore. It's not a relationship, it's...

Sorry. - What does he want to do about it?

I don't know. I haven't seen him for the past two weeks.

Stupid cops.

You know what we should do? Attack the Oudaan.

You've got to admit; it would be absurd. Completely pointless.

Who on earth would expect someone to attack a building full of cops?

Stay away from the pills, Fré.

They're turning your brain into moosh. - You take them too.

Me? Never.

A little joint from time to time. That's all.

That'll turn your brain into moosh. - I don't take pills

or smoke joints. Alcohol does turn your brain into moosh.

I don't take drugs and I don't drink alcohol...

If that doesn't turn your brain into moosh...

What does moosh mean?

The moral of the tale is: stay home...

Felix... The cops, 13th floor, in the canteen.

The cops' canteen is on the 13th floor?

What idiot would put the canteen on the top floor?

It takes an hour for everyone to come down,

...or go up...

They're going to think it's so ridiculous, us taking the place hostage.

I bet there isn't even a law against it.

And our demands...

Our ultimatum!

Attacking a police station. It reminds me of a film...

What film?

Nothing. We demand nothing. We'll just sit down a while, have a coffee...

Shall we go? - Have a smoke. What?

Shall we go?

It's a private party. They'll be sitting round the table playing "Risk".

"Risk" is a great game. - No. It'll be OK.

Natalie asked me to bring some friends along.

Alright. There's nothing else to do.

I'll just go and have a crap.

I'm not driving. I'm too stoned.

You don't want to drive? - No.

Who's going to drive, then? - I dunno. Benny?

No, seriously.

Felix! - Let Fiona drive.

Should we take something? - Yes, I think so.

A bottle? - Yes.

And who's going to pay? - I'll advance.

Get a bottle of red.

I thought you didn't drink. - Hey, it's party-time.

Who is this Natalie girl?

She's great. You'll see.

What sort of people will be there? A bunch of wankers?

That Firmin guy... He invited a lot of people.

My second book was a flop too. - Yes, I read a review.

Criticism is to the artist what ornithology is to a bird.

In "De Standaard"? A vicious article.

Yes, I didn't realize they were talking about you. So nasty.

Where's the ice? - In the bucket.

And it was written by a former colleague of mine.

But that sentence: "Paul Garcin is the Pol Pot of Flemish letters".

That was too much. Really too much.

Firmin, this is Paul, my French teacher from school.

The Pol Pot of Flemish letters?

"Vrij Nederland" was even worse. - What? The Idi Amin of the roman à clés?

The General Pinochet of science fiction.

The Ceausescu of children's stories...

The Mickey Mouse of cartoons.

What are you doing now?

I'm writing a book.

Don't I know you from somewhere?

Your wife, didn't she use to come to the fitness club?

About fifteen years ago? - Yes!

What were you doing in a fitness?

It was my club. "Slender you".

Losing weight without paling. Without moving, I mean!

It was all very 80s.

Where's the ice? - In the bucket!

There were big benches that moved...

It didn't work at all, but it was such a success!

Wasn't it 1.200 francs an hour?

A half-hour! All the chicks fell asleep. Especially his.

I made loads of money with yours.

Where's the ice? - In the bucket!

How are you doing? - Great.

Like a new pair of shoes.

Like a new pair of shoes?

I got fired today.

I didn't.

I liked my job.

Why?

Why what? - Why were you fired?

I don't know.

I wasn't fired, and I don't know why either.

There was a damaged copy.

A copy? - A copy of a film.

I want you to come back to me.

Lara, don't start that again.

It'd be nice, wouldn't it?

Wouldn't it be nice?

Lara, this is Natalie's party.

I feel great.

Oh, they're having a party here too.

Where's the toilet? - This way.

I gave this to Natalie as a gift.

It's by Tom Wesselman. When I was little, I was fascinated

by the form of this image. I didn't know what it was.

I couldn't see it. It was hung high up in the living room.

But when I grew up, I saw what it was.

A naked woman. Can you imagine?

Abstract became concrete.

And it lost nothing of its power. That's it for me,

getting a hard-on for an abstract woman.

D'you understand? - Yes, yes.

Here are a few ideas. Do you want to read them?

Huh?... Look there. Jeff Wall. You know that? "A Sudden Gust of Wind".

Wild work. Look at it... Great memories...

How come that blind guy has so much luck with the girls?

I dunno. Ask him.

Bocelli? - Yes?

How come you've always got chicks hanging around you?

I dunno. Girls like you to chat with them,

not just feel you've got the hots for them.

So women don't give you the hots?

Of course, but they don't realize, get it?

Yeah, right.

Benny's a very clever guy.

No, I'm not clever.

Besides, there are no stupid people, just people who are unlucky.

Is there anything you don't have a theory about?

Greediness. That I don't understand.

But you must have some theory about it. - This is way too deep.

Yesterday, my boyfriend... - Shut the fuck up about your boyfriend!

You've been flirting with Stevie fucking Wonder all night.

There's nothing wrong with that.

Unlucky boyfriend! - I'm going to dance.

Dance? To this music?

At the table, this morning,

I tried to screw the top of the Heinz Sandwich Spread

on the gherkin jar.

And it worked!

Then I tried to screw the top

of the gherkins on the Sandwich Spread,

and that worked too.

Say, what happened to your hand?

Walter is the complete opposite of a hypochondriac.

Why?

He suffers from imaginary healing.

Have you got something against the 80s?

No. Why?

I heard you talking in the kitchen. Something about the 80s...

Why do you ask?

We choose our words. Scientists don't say just anything.

When they say a word, it's as if they were giving the definition of it.

It's not like a writer, for example.

Are you quoting something from a film?

Yes, maybe. People my age have to quote from films. Or television.

The 20s, 30s, 40s, the fucking 50s and 60s,

the overblown 70s... Of all the decades of that fucking century,

why is it always the 80s that get shat on? I heard your tone, mate,

it was pure scorn...

People say: "Wow! Super! This armchair is so 70s!"

Or: "I'd love an American car from the 50s!"

But try getting someone to say something good about the 80s.

Oh, no. The 80s sucked. The 80s had no style.

There was a depression, Thatcher, the supermarket killers, aerobics, Keith Haring,

the clothes were ugly, the music was bad! No, man, no!

The music was way out, the clothes were beautiful!

But Keith Haring sucked!

Yes. OK. Take David Bowie...

People say the 80s were his worst period. Not true. No way.

It was David Bowie's best period!

Keith Haring?

What year? What year was Keith Haring?

Frédérique, would you try asking the DJ to play something from Kiss?

I've got to go and change the record.

How about another slow? - Don't be ridiculous.

You've been dancing with her all evening. - 5 minutes. I danced with her once.

Have you taken something? Let me see.

No.

She's playing games. Why do you let her? - We have a child together.

Ah, she has a kid, has she? - Quit it, Natalie.

Calm down, mate.

Mind your own business.

What is it with you? - Come on, Chouki.

What are you doing with this loser!

Goddammit! Stop that!

Shit, man, they're fighting.

I've got to put a record on. - You do that. Go and put a record on.

I'm not doing anything. Let me go! Don't touch me!

I didn't do anything. He's the crazy one. - Come on.

What I like even better than watching people,

is watching people watching people.

See that girl over there? - Yes.

Now, look over there, the shabby-looking man...

Now look at the young man over there.

Hey, what are you doing?

Mum's the word, eh?

Is that party still on this evening?

You haven't slept yet, and you're already thinking about tonight.

I can't think about parties now. - Me neither, man.

Could you close the window, please?

No, really... Is that party at Charlotte's still on?

Yeah, man...

If she doesn't commit suicide.

My God, you're so cynical. - Cynical?

I've only known you for 24 hours and you already get on my nerves.

Sorry.

She's always talking about suicide. The other day, she called me to say

that I had one of her salad bowls and a jar of vinaigrette.

"You can keep them", she said. "And that Van Morrison CD".

I said: "How come?". "I'm going to end it all". I replied: "Charlotte,

the salad bowl gets in my way, the vinaigrette is off, and the only

Van Morrison CD here, is mine.

In other words, you're 'giving' me two things I don't want,

and one which already belongs to me! So, if you die tomorrow

all that I get from you is a jar of vinaigrette and a salad bowl."

Great! Me, making a salad?

She's always talking about committing suicide.

She's tried it on with me, too. Same as Peter's sister.

And then she starts to blubber...

Who? Peter's sister? - No, Charlotte!

Over that fucking Van Morrison CD!

Is it yours?

You don't really strike me as a Van Morrison fan.

Listen, you pseudo Ray Charles, I was listening to Van Morrison

before you got your first pair of stone-washed jeans.

In other words, I had style

before you could read the words "Duran Duran" in braille.

Word. - What?

Yes, you said: "The 'words' Duran Duran",

but it's the same word twice. So it's the "word" Duran Duran.

It's still two words, you dumb fuck.

One word, said twice.

So? It's still two words.

Just say: "The 'name' Duran Duran".

You wouldn't say: "The 'names' Duran Duran", would you?

And you don't say: "the sports ping and pong". Jesus.

Why do you guys live in Antwerp?

If you don't mind me asking.

Can we drop you somewhere, Benny?

No.

Thanks for the tea. You're spoiling me.

It's my pleasure.

How was your date?

It didn't go too well.

It's not that he's an idiot, but when he's drunk, he's impossible.

Yesterday you were telling me how cute his lisp was.

After three hours, I'd had enough. I was soaked through.

Poor thing.

And he went on and on about his English friends.

What d'you mean?

His "English friends".

A long tale about his "English friends".

So I ask him: "Are they here?" No, they're still

in Liverpool. Then another rambling story about that.

Irritating! With his big head and all.

And who's that?

I brought him back with me last night.

He was too drunk to walk. He's a writer.

Couldn't you find anything younger than that?

Here...

vitamins.

I'd better be going.

What happened to your hand?

How did I get here?

You couldn't remember where you lived.

All you did was sleep, Paul.

ALL I did was sleep...

All I DID was sleep...

All I did was SLEEP.

My wife read somewhere that men reveal all their secrets

if you dip their left hand in hot water while they sleep...

Hot water? - Yes, not boiling.

All she had to do was ask.

Because men don't have secrets...

No, just things they're ashamed of.

What's that? - What? Where? What's wrong?

Shit, what time is it?

I don't know.

Twelve thirty.

You've got to go and get Julie. - Yes, I know.

Why do you want to be in my gallery?

Everybody started out with you...

Why would I risk taking this on?

There's no risk. Have you read it?

Yes, with a bad hangover.

So why did you ring me so early?

For talent. I do the craziest things.

Where did you get these bacteria from? - That's not important.

I've got them with me. I had them yesterday, too.

You came to my party yesterday carrying plague germs?

To your party? Yes.

And above 4 degrees, they become ultra-active.

They've had a tough time.

Do you realize what such an injection could mean?

Of course.

You're mad.

This isn't a fucking gimmick, Firmin, it's well-founded.

Suicide is always well-founded.

But this isn't suicide! That's the point!

How wonderful.

Listen, Chouki, I appreciate what you're doing,

but that's not how it works. You don't just take your dossier to a gallery

and expect us to jump up and down. Understand?

Show me those tubes.

There's nothing to see in these tubes. - Show me.

Sounds like you've got a stuffy nose. - I know.

Shit, what's this?

Put your shoes on, there's glass everywhere.

Is it bleeding? - Yes, I've cut myself.

Oh, my God!

Fuck! Jesus Christ!

Idiot! - What was that?

Nearly knocked a guy down. Watch out for my car, will you?

I didn't see him. - He was in the wrong.

The pedestrian is always right.

Yes, Benny, you're right.

Hello, yes?

Hey, Fré, didn't we stick posters there?

Goddam bastards! Come on, let's paste over them.

Where is the goddam thing?

It's OK here.

Fré, the car!

I don't believe it!

Do you have to go to work later on?

Yes...

Alright, I'll do the cleaning up. Oh, no. I'll call Fiona.

What a fucking mess.

There were loads of people, eh? And what weirdos!

I don't understand some folks.

Take the crowd that was here last night.

I sometimes feel I'm the only normal person around. Don't you?

Yeah.

What do they all do during the day?

Same thing.

I couldn't live like that.

Am I being a pain? - No.

Maybe I'm the one

who's boring, and they're normal?

I dunno.

You know, you can tell me if you think I'm boring.

For Christ's sake, stop worrying about what others think.

What did you invite them for, anyway?

They fascinate you.

You're hooked on weirdos.

You've even got one in the family.

But it was fun, wasn't it?

Yes. But you still haven't told me whether you think I'm boring.

No, Natalie, you're not boring.

What's your favourite animal? - What?

Your favourite animal. Answer immediately.

Sparrow. - Sparrow?

OK. Why? Answer immediately.

Because they're... sweet,

not really interesting, but kind...

and because they're nearly extinct... I feel sorry for them.

OK. Your second favourite animal?

The hippopotamus. - Why? Answer immediately.

Because on the outside they're surly and aggressive,

but on the inside they're gentle and unhappy,

because they prefer to live underwater,

but they always have to get back onto land to survive.

The 1st animal is the way you see your partner

And the 2nd is how you see yourself.

My animal's certainly right...

So, I'm gentle, sweet

and not very interesting...

I'm a real hippopotamus, I am...

And I'm a sparrow.

They shit straight out, did you know that?

The shit comes straight out, and then they go like that with their tail.

All over the place.

Sparrows? Really? - Hippopotamuses...

She's been waiting for you. - Sorry, it was a late night.

Was it fun? - It was... turbulent.

Are you coming in for a while? - No, we're going for a walk.

Aren't we, sweetheart? It's nice weather. A big kiss for Granny.

Goodbye, sweetheart. - Thanks, mum.

Here, darling... Your schoolbag.

Goodbye! - Bye.

And? How did it go? - OK.

OK? Come on, then. That's good.

Yes?

What the hell are you doing? Open the door.

I'm in the bath. Come back later.

No, I've got to come in now. Open the door.

What's the matter? - I can't tell you. Open up, please.

Chouki, come back in an hour. I'm enjoying this.

Besides, I cut my... - Art and police, an initiative...

Is there anyone else in the house?

No.

Leave everything just how it is, OK?

I'll be back straight away.

What a pest.

Bruce Nauman said: "Art should raise questions", that's why the police

has decided to ask Nauman to place a video installation

in the canteen in Begijnenstraat...

Hey, you losers! Bunch of losers!

Something bothering you? Something wrong?

Get a grip. What's wrong with you?

Picking a fight with a baby?

Come on. Let's go to the cops'.

Yeah, wait. I've got to have a crap first.

How many times do you have to shit in 48 hours?

And why tell me every time?

Is it important for me to know? Some sort of warning?

Don't go on like that. What's with you?

Going on, eh? Going on?

First I get caught by the cops because you're chasing girls.

Then you let someone steal my car before I can even drive it...

You haven't got your licence. - I've passed the theory...

...it's still my car.

Then I get insulted by a baby while you talk about your bowel movements!

In my family, when someone had to take a crap,

you just came out and said so. It was OK.

Really? How touching.

I get a glimpse of how hard your childhood must have been.

Really interesting. Thank you so much.

We can't just go to the cops like that. - Yes, we can.

My car's been stolen.

Thanks.

Oh, yeah. There was a blind man in it.

I beg your pardon?

There was a blind guy in the car.

There was somebody in the car when it was stolen?

Yes.

That's kidnapping!

Well, yes, I guess so.

Thanks.

You don't mean someone actually intended to kidnap Benny?

Not really, but he was still in the car, Fré.

Figure it out for yourself.

What date is it today?

I don't know. They'll fill that out upstairs.

Fré, what's your registration number?

ABC 444.

There you go.

One metre eighty.

What colour were Benny's eyes?

I'll be right back.

Ah, hello, Lara.

I've come for Julie.

She's already gone.

Walter came to collect her.

About half an hour ago.

I thought...

What's wrong with you, girl?

I thought you were dead.

I had too much to drink... - You don't say!

So I slept the night at someone's place.

SLEPT the night...

Slept the NIGHT.

You could have phoned. - I didn't know anything.

Sometimes neither do I.

I'm sorry.

Really?

Alright.

Are you going to the baker's? - Yes.

Well?

You got some change?

It's OK.

Another little test?

He went to pick Charlie up from the fencing club.

The teacher's had a heart attack.

Boutelier? Really? While he was teaching?

Yes. I bowed, he called out "On guard", then he collapsed. Stupid.

But he's OK. - What a champion, my son.

He just bows to his adversary, who falls down dead.

What mental power! What presence!

Don't touch. You'll get your clothes dirty.

He was dribbling, doing well.

Vincent, come over here a minute.

Yes, what? Yes?

I'll call you later.

Yes, later.

Vincent, come here.

You live up there, don't you? - Yes.

I've seen you around.

I guess so.

Listen, I'm going sailing with my son.

That's our boat. - Is it?

And... I think they're about the same age.

Yes, more or less.

He asked me to ask you if you wanted to come along.

He'd enjoy that. With the little girl.

How about it? The river Scheldt. Speeding along,

with the wind in your hair.

Yes, the wind in your hair.

No. Thanks, but no.

It's very kind of you to offer, but...

I don't think we'll come. - Alright.

Perhaps another time. - Yes. Come on, sweetheart.

Shit, there's not a breath of wind.

Thirteenth.

A sliced brown loaf, Paul.

Shall we stop fighting?

You smell like an ashtray soaked in vodka.

And you call me Sammy. My Sam.

And the Windman.

Please...

Visibility. That's what it's all about.

More blue in the streets, more art in the streets.

Andy Warhol said: "If it moves, they'll watch it".

Are you often on the run?

Always.

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