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1
00:00:01,377 --> 00:00:03,337
- [♪ theme music playing]
- [audience cheering]
2
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:08,259
- [blowing kisses]
- [laughing] Hi!
3
00:00:08,259 --> 00:00:12,096
I'm Trish. This is my
partner-in-crime, Suze.
4
00:00:12,096 --> 00:00:14,265
[grunts] And I'm Suze.
5
00:00:14,265 --> 00:00:17,268
And this is Morning Mimosa!
6
00:00:17,268 --> 00:00:19,186
[cheering]
7
00:00:19,186 --> 00:00:22,356
We've got a hell of a show
planned for you today.
8
00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:26,986
Mayor Garfield will be
on later for a game
of Suck and Blow.
9
00:00:26,986 --> 00:00:28,696
[audience] Ooh!
10
00:00:28,696 --> 00:00:31,365
As well as the world's
youngest blackbelt.
11
00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:32,950
[audience] Aw!
12
00:00:32,950 --> 00:00:36,829
And get this,
she knows all the state
capitals by heart.
13
00:00:36,829 --> 00:00:39,623
What a remarkable
little dork, right?
14
00:00:39,623 --> 00:00:43,961
And lastly, your favorite
and ours, Todd Fox
will be joining us again
15
00:00:43,961 --> 00:00:48,132
with his collection
of exotic animals.
16
00:00:48,132 --> 00:00:50,634
[audience howling]
17
00:00:50,634 --> 00:00:55,306
Speaking of, we want to
take a minute up front
to issue a public apology.
18
00:00:55,306 --> 00:00:57,016
Uh-oh.
19
00:00:57,016 --> 00:01:01,479
We got a lot of letters
from animal rights
watchdogs last week,
20
00:01:01,479 --> 00:01:05,316
and Suze would like to say
a deep-down sorry
21
00:01:05,316 --> 00:01:07,318
for eating
that rare butterfly.
22
00:01:07,318 --> 00:01:08,986
Thought it was a hummingbird.
23
00:01:08,986 --> 00:01:11,530
Okay, on with the show!
24
00:01:11,530 --> 00:01:13,908
Producer Charlie,
please pull up the map.
25
00:01:13,908 --> 00:01:17,161
Let's get an early bird
look at today's...
26
00:01:17,161 --> 00:01:21,999
[audience, Trish and Suze]
D-U-I Checkpoints!
27
00:01:21,999 --> 00:01:25,503
Hi. Charlie Greenfield.
That's you, not me.
28
00:01:25,503 --> 00:01:27,004
Hayley Smith is me.
29
00:01:27,004 --> 00:01:29,340
- Intern, starting today.
- Intern?
30
00:01:29,340 --> 00:01:31,258
For my Journalism class
at Groff.
31
00:01:31,258 --> 00:01:34,678
Listen, we don't really
do journalism here.
32
00:01:34,678 --> 00:01:39,391
News is dark and dreary.
Boo. No fun first thing
in the morning.
33
00:01:39,391 --> 00:01:42,686
What we do is this.
34
00:01:42,686 --> 00:01:44,688
You voted and we listened.
35
00:01:44,688 --> 00:01:49,777
All week, Trish will be doing
the show from a papasan!
36
00:01:49,777 --> 00:01:52,279
Whee! I'm spilling!
37
00:01:53,155 --> 00:01:55,157
[♪ theme song playing]
38
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,869
♪ Good morning, USA ♪
39
00:01:58,869 --> 00:02:02,456
♪ I got a feeling
That it's gonna be
A wonderful day ♪
40
00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:05,459
♪ The sun in the sky
Has a smile on his face ♪
41
00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:09,046
♪ And he's shining a salute
To the American race ♪
42
00:02:11,966 --> 00:02:15,094
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
43
00:02:15,094 --> 00:02:17,388
♪ Good morning, USA ♪
44
00:02:17,388 --> 00:02:18,472
[Roger] Ah!
45
00:02:20,015 --> 00:02:23,310
{\an8}[chorus]
♪ Good morning, USA ♪
46
00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:25,938
{\an8}[Trish on TV] Whee!
I'm spilling!
47
00:02:25,938 --> 00:02:30,442
{\an8}[Steve] Oh, my God,
I want to die.
Why am I throwing up tar?
48
00:02:30,442 --> 00:02:33,487
{\an8}It's food poisoning.
We all caught it.
49
00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:35,823
{\an8}[Klaus] It's hard to pin down
exactly what caused it,
50
00:02:35,823 --> 00:02:41,120
{\an8}but I'm leaning toward
the giant wok of squid ink
paella we made last night.
51
00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:42,454
{\an8}[Klaus retching]
52
00:02:42,454 --> 00:02:45,332
{\an8}Okay, did a quick inventory
of our rations
53
00:02:45,332 --> 00:02:49,086
{\an8}and we've got zero
sports drinks, ginger ale,
or saltines.
54
00:02:49,086 --> 00:02:53,465
{\an8}What we do have are
62 Tupperware containers
of squid ink paella.
55
00:02:53,465 --> 00:02:55,676
{\an8}I threw out everything else
to make room.
56
00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:58,846
{\an8}You gotta remember,
at the time,
we loved the paella.
57
00:02:59,346 --> 00:03:01,265
{\an8}[grunting]
58
00:03:01,265 --> 00:03:04,602
{\an8}I don't want to sound
dramatic, but if we don't
get some electrolytes soon,
59
00:03:04,602 --> 00:03:06,687
{\an8}things could get pretty dire
around here.
60
00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:10,024
{\an8}[whistling]
61
00:03:10,024 --> 00:03:14,486
{\an8}Jeff, did you eat
the paella last night?
62
00:03:14,486 --> 00:03:18,282
{\an8}Nope. Hayley and I went out
to dinner to celebrate
her new internship.
63
00:03:18,282 --> 00:03:19,491
{\an8}We're saved!
64
00:03:19,491 --> 00:03:21,619
{\an8}I did have some for breakfast.
65
00:03:21,619 --> 00:03:24,330
{\an8}Did you guys know
it's the only food
in the kitchen?
66
00:03:24,330 --> 00:03:26,290
{\an8}Jeff, run!
67
00:03:26,290 --> 00:03:29,960
{\an8}You have ten, maybe 12 minutes
before you turn.
68
00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:34,131
{\an8}You need to buy as much
Gatorade as you can carry.
69
00:03:34,131 --> 00:03:35,799
{\an8}You're our only hope!
70
00:03:35,799 --> 00:03:38,093
{\an8}You can count on me, Mrs. S!
71
00:03:41,055 --> 00:03:44,516
{\an8}- [dog barking]
- Whoa! New dog
in the neighborhood!
72
00:03:44,516 --> 00:03:45,976
[Jeff chuckling]
73
00:03:45,976 --> 00:03:48,187
You're a friendly guy,
aren't you?
74
00:03:48,187 --> 00:03:50,981
You're kinda small
for a Basset Hound.
75
00:03:50,981 --> 00:03:53,150
You got a little
Chihuahua in you too?
76
00:03:53,150 --> 00:03:54,902
- Jeff!
- [Klaus] You [bleep]!
77
00:03:57,947 --> 00:04:00,991
Don't mean to interrupt.
Just wanted to meet
my coworkers.
78
00:04:00,991 --> 00:04:02,660
Hayley Smith, intern.
79
00:04:02,660 --> 00:04:04,995
I heard you're having
Mayor Garfield on later.
80
00:04:04,995 --> 00:04:06,997
Seems like maybe
a good opportunity
81
00:04:06,997 --> 00:04:10,751
to ask him about
the sorry state of basketball
courts in our public parks.
82
00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:13,128
Charlie, this one's
talking to me!
83
00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:18,509
Did you see that?
It looked me
right in the face!
84
00:04:18,509 --> 00:04:20,010
What are you doing?
85
00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:22,054
You don't talk to the talent.
What did you say to them?
86
00:04:22,054 --> 00:04:25,015
I mentioned Mayor Garfield
hasn't been keeping
his campaign promise.
87
00:04:25,015 --> 00:04:28,686
No, no, no, no, no, no!
I said no journalism.
88
00:04:28,686 --> 00:04:30,854
Well, surely, a little
journalism can't hurt.
89
00:04:30,854 --> 00:04:34,692
[growls] This show.
It's light, it's bubbly.
90
00:04:34,692 --> 00:04:37,403
It goes down smooth,
like a mimosa!
91
00:04:37,403 --> 00:04:41,615
And right now, you,
you're like a wasp hovering
around that mimosa.
92
00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:45,869
You're annoying,
and you don't understand
that this is our picnic!
93
00:04:45,869 --> 00:04:48,372
I just want to try and do
some good while I'm here.
94
00:04:48,372 --> 00:04:51,125
Good, then I have
the perfect job for you.
95
00:04:52,668 --> 00:04:55,546
Now I understand
you love clowns.
96
00:04:55,546 --> 00:05:00,300
No. Towns. State capitals.
I hate clowns.
97
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:02,594
"Clowns"? That's my cue!
98
00:05:02,594 --> 00:05:08,726
[exclaims] Cheyenne! Lincoln!
Dover! Olympia!
99
00:05:08,726 --> 00:05:11,061
- What are you in for?
- Attacked by a small child.
100
00:05:11,061 --> 00:05:12,312
Small monkey.
101
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:14,898
- I'm Todd Fox.
- I know. I'm a massive fan...
102
00:05:14,898 --> 00:05:16,984
- Why, thank you.
- ...of your octopus, Kristoff.
103
00:05:16,984 --> 00:05:18,444
Oh. Well...
104
00:05:18,444 --> 00:05:20,904
- You can meet him if you like.
- Are you serious?
105
00:05:20,904 --> 00:05:23,699
Of course. He goes
everywhere with me.
Kristoff!
106
00:05:24,992 --> 00:05:26,827
Kristoff, say hello.
107
00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:30,789
[Kristoff through computer]
Hello, lady.
Nice lady sad.
108
00:05:30,789 --> 00:05:34,835
- Kristoff.
- No, it's okay. I am
feeling a little down.
109
00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:37,629
- What's the trouble?
- I came here thinking
it was a chance
110
00:05:37,629 --> 00:05:41,341
to get my foot in the door,
but now I realize
how stupid that was.
111
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:44,928
Well, that's extremely vague,
but my advice,
112
00:05:44,928 --> 00:05:46,597
if you find yourself
tied to something
113
00:05:46,597 --> 00:05:49,475
that makes you unhappy,
cut it loose and walk away.
114
00:05:49,475 --> 00:05:52,269
Huh. Well, thank you, Mr. Fox.
115
00:05:52,269 --> 00:05:54,188
Please, call me Todd Fox.
116
00:05:54,188 --> 00:05:56,106
Intern! There you are.
117
00:05:56,106 --> 00:05:59,151
We need to get you out
of that sling and into
your tortilla chip costume.
118
00:05:59,151 --> 00:06:02,279
We're five minutes away
from the piping hot
queso high dive.
119
00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:04,990
Medical team on standby?
120
00:06:04,990 --> 00:06:07,701
Nope. Can't do it.
Todd Fox is right.
121
00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:09,953
Gotta cut this loose
and walk away.
122
00:06:09,953 --> 00:06:13,123
I can just take the journalism
class again next year.
123
00:06:13,123 --> 00:06:14,625
What's this?
124
00:06:14,625 --> 00:06:18,212
"Todd Fox's first wife
was murdered.
125
00:06:18,212 --> 00:06:19,880
Follow the money, Hayley."
126
00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:23,050
[gasps] I'm Hayley!
Oh, my God!
127
00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:25,385
Journalism.
128
00:06:27,971 --> 00:06:29,306
Out of the way!
129
00:06:29,306 --> 00:06:30,808
Bombshell coming through!
130
00:06:30,808 --> 00:06:34,394
She's overselling herself.
She's a six on a good day.
131
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:36,647
Okay, look, I know
you guys don't do news,
132
00:06:36,647 --> 00:06:40,150
but Todd Fox might have
murdered his first wife.
133
00:06:40,150 --> 00:06:42,528
You have to dig into this
before he's on the show.
134
00:06:42,528 --> 00:06:45,364
We don't have to do anything.
I'm not touching that.
135
00:06:45,364 --> 00:06:47,324
How do we know
you didn't write it?
136
00:06:47,324 --> 00:06:51,578
[hiccups] Yeah.
How do we know it wasn't you
who got murdered?
137
00:06:51,578 --> 00:06:54,331
- What?
- [Charlie] Intern?
138
00:06:54,331 --> 00:06:57,251
I thought I told you
to stop pestering the stars.
139
00:06:57,251 --> 00:06:58,502
And what is this?
140
00:06:58,502 --> 00:07:01,672
A-ha! Just as I suspected.
141
00:07:01,672 --> 00:07:02,840
A scoop.
142
00:07:02,840 --> 00:07:04,842
If it's true, it's huge news.
143
00:07:04,842 --> 00:07:06,176
Wait, really?
144
00:07:06,176 --> 00:07:08,512
Well, in that case,
call the freakin' Gazette
145
00:07:08,512 --> 00:07:10,389
because that's not
what we do here!
146
00:07:10,389 --> 00:07:12,558
Drop it or you're fired,
147
00:07:12,558 --> 00:07:16,770
and I'll see to it that you
never work in brunch-time
television again.
148
00:07:17,479 --> 00:07:18,856
Okay.
149
00:07:18,856 --> 00:07:22,192
Besides, you really think
these two are even capable
150
00:07:22,192 --> 00:07:24,695
of handling your alleged
"bombshell"?
151
00:07:24,695 --> 00:07:26,363
Look at them.
152
00:07:26,363 --> 00:07:31,118
All this is making me
want a churro bad.
Bring in the Churrodillo!
153
00:07:31,118 --> 00:07:32,870
[audience cheering]
154
00:07:32,870 --> 00:07:35,873
♪ I'm too sexy for my shirt ♪
155
00:07:35,873 --> 00:07:39,710
[Suze on TV] Yeah, work it,
Churrodillo. Work it!
156
00:07:39,710 --> 00:07:44,214
The kitchen is off-limits
forever now, and I don't
want to talk about why.
157
00:07:44,214 --> 00:07:46,967
[Klaus] Could I at least
sneak in quickly
and change out my water?
158
00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:49,052
The kitchen is gone, Klaus!
159
00:07:49,052 --> 00:07:52,973
[Klaus] Well, I'm sure Jeff
will be home any minute
and we'll all be saved.
160
00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:55,434
Jeff is dead in a ditch
somewhere covered in ink.
161
00:07:55,434 --> 00:07:57,311
I feel it in my bones.
162
00:07:57,311 --> 00:08:01,982
It's time to accept the fact
that none of us are
coming back from this.
163
00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:03,984
[bell jingling in distance]
164
00:08:06,236 --> 00:08:08,447
[Steve] Snack cart!
He's got drinks!
165
00:08:08,447 --> 00:08:09,656
{\an8}We're saved!
166
00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:12,659
Steve, you have to signal him!
167
00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:14,494
[Klaus] Don't let him
get away!
168
00:08:16,330 --> 00:08:18,332
Wha... Ahh! Whoa!
169
00:08:22,711 --> 00:08:24,546
[Roger]
Did he see you, Steve?
170
00:08:29,343 --> 00:08:30,928
[Hayley]
This is such good journalism.
171
00:08:30,928 --> 00:08:33,347
I am doing the shit
out of this journalism.
172
00:08:33,347 --> 00:08:35,933
Is that my microfiche reader?
173
00:08:35,933 --> 00:08:38,769
You're still researching
Todd Fox, aren't you?
174
00:08:38,769 --> 00:08:41,521
Jesus, are those my sour
Twizzlers too?
175
00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:44,149
Those were in my car,
my locked car.
176
00:08:44,149 --> 00:08:45,776
[sucks and gulps]
177
00:08:45,776 --> 00:08:47,277
[chuckles]
178
00:08:47,277 --> 00:08:50,948
You got big ovaries, kid.
I'll give you that.
179
00:08:50,948 --> 00:08:55,118
You know, I did too once.
God, it seems like
another lifetime now.
180
00:08:55,118 --> 00:08:57,704
I'll tell you about it
after I nuke this toilet.
181
00:08:58,288 --> 00:09:00,290
[grunts and sighs]
182
00:09:00,290 --> 00:09:01,667
Done.
183
00:09:01,667 --> 00:09:04,169
The year was 17. For me.
184
00:09:04,169 --> 00:09:06,463
For some others,
it was likely a different age.
185
00:09:06,463 --> 00:09:11,134
Trish and I were paired up
at random by our broadcast
journalism teacher.
186
00:09:11,134 --> 00:09:13,512
We were a great team
from the start.
187
00:09:13,512 --> 00:09:17,140
Our first expose blew the lid
off local corruption,
188
00:09:17,140 --> 00:09:19,643
earning us a B plus
in the class.
189
00:09:19,643 --> 00:09:21,853
It was one of those teachers
who doesn't give 'A's
190
00:09:21,853 --> 00:09:23,563
based on some
misguided principle.
191
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:27,401
No, I don't give 'A's.
Because of my
misguided principles.
192
00:09:27,401 --> 00:09:30,821
[Suze] After our
first big scoop,
we were hooked.
193
00:09:30,821 --> 00:09:33,031
Just two more kids in America
194
00:09:33,031 --> 00:09:36,326
falling recklessly in love
with the news!
195
00:09:36,326 --> 00:09:39,830
Early reports indicate
thousands injured or missing.
196
00:09:39,830 --> 00:09:41,873
We're not finished
doing the news!
197
00:09:41,873 --> 00:09:43,667
[soldiers screaming]
198
00:09:43,667 --> 00:09:47,254
Eventually, we landed
our own TV news hour.
199
00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:51,174
But we were young
and didn't know the dark side
of the industry yet.
200
00:09:51,174 --> 00:09:54,761
{\an8}Hi, Suze. I also had to use
the bathroom, so I can help
with this story, too.
201
00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:57,681
Test groups find
the two of you intimidating.
202
00:09:57,681 --> 00:10:01,351
I was thinking
maybe we cash in
those dusty old pantsuits
203
00:10:01,351 --> 00:10:03,687
for something that shows
a little more leg.
204
00:10:03,687 --> 00:10:08,400
And, Trish, lose the glasses.
No one likes chicks
who can see good.
205
00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:12,029
I just think we could
get more eyeballs if we
added a simple game.
206
00:10:12,029 --> 00:10:14,865
I promise it won't
compromise your credibility.
207
00:10:14,865 --> 00:10:17,617
I'm not asking you to play
Twister with Gore Vidal.
208
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:20,871
Just something to loosen
everyone up. Think casual.
209
00:10:20,871 --> 00:10:23,832
And maybe a drink in your hand
to grease the wheels?
[snaps fingers]
210
00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:32,090
[audience cheering]
211
00:10:32,090 --> 00:10:33,800
[Trish laughing]
212
00:10:35,010 --> 00:10:36,553
And now, we're here.
213
00:10:36,553 --> 00:10:38,889
Wow. I had no idea.
214
00:10:38,889 --> 00:10:42,559
That is so, so perfect.
215
00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:46,104
It is? Maybe I told it wrong.
216
00:10:46,104 --> 00:10:47,606
Don't you see?
217
00:10:47,606 --> 00:10:50,776
You two aren't just aging,
cookie-cutter, empty calorie,
218
00:10:50,776 --> 00:10:52,402
talentless, mid-tier beauties.
219
00:10:52,402 --> 00:10:53,904
- Ouch!
- Jesus!
220
00:10:53,904 --> 00:10:55,906
You've got chops!
221
00:10:55,906 --> 00:10:59,409
You were a real deal
journalists once, and you can
be that again. Right now.
222
00:10:59,409 --> 00:11:02,079
[inhales sharply]
I don't know.
223
00:11:02,079 --> 00:11:05,499
Just listen to this juice
I dug up on Todd Fox.
224
00:11:05,499 --> 00:11:07,501
His wife was
a wealthy heiress,
225
00:11:07,501 --> 00:11:09,503
and they married
after only two months.
226
00:11:09,503 --> 00:11:12,130
Then she died under
mysterious circumstances
227
00:11:12,130 --> 00:11:15,175
when her zip-lining harness
"gave out" on their honeymoon.
228
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:18,345
Boom! Todd Fox inherited
her whole fortune
229
00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:23,100
and has been slowly
draining it to buy more exotic
animals and build his brand.
230
00:11:23,100 --> 00:11:26,269
The note was right. It really
looks like he murdered her.
231
00:11:26,269 --> 00:11:29,689
You know what else?
He hooked up with me after
the Christmas party last year,
232
00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:32,651
even though he saw me
throw up twice.
233
00:11:32,651 --> 00:11:35,612
And I actually
threw up five times.
234
00:11:35,612 --> 00:11:38,698
You two have a real chance
to blindside him today.
235
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:41,535
He won't see it coming.
Not on Morning Mimosa!
236
00:11:41,535 --> 00:11:42,994
And not from you.
237
00:11:42,994 --> 00:11:46,373
Please, journalism was your
dream, and now it's mine.
238
00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:48,834
Do it for all the kids like me
watching at home.
239
00:11:48,834 --> 00:11:51,128
Wait. How old are you?
240
00:11:51,128 --> 00:11:53,296
Because you look
like you're 35.
241
00:11:53,296 --> 00:11:56,800
No, we can't.
Todd Fox is beloved.
It's career suicide.
242
00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:59,052
I'm sorry, intern.
I never actually
learned your name.
243
00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:02,222
Charlie is right about us.
We can't do news anymore.
244
00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:03,390
We changed.
245
00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:06,393
And you will too
when you grow up. More.
246
00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:08,687
Okay, we should
really get back.
247
00:12:08,687 --> 00:12:11,815
I think it's been
about eight minutes
of dead air out there.
248
00:12:11,815 --> 00:12:14,568
Lionfish! Bike tire! Rabbit!
249
00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:18,029
Fanny pack! Seal!
250
00:12:18,029 --> 00:12:21,491
[laughs] Shut up!
That's the one I meant!
251
00:12:21,491 --> 00:12:25,203
[audience cheering]
252
00:12:25,203 --> 00:12:29,916
[Charlie] Cash in those dusty
old pantsuits for something
that shows a little more leg.
253
00:12:31,585 --> 00:12:34,212
And maybe a drink in your hand
to grease the wheels?
254
00:12:34,212 --> 00:12:35,839
[heart pounding]
255
00:12:40,427 --> 00:12:43,847
Todd Fox, I'm dying to know,
256
00:12:43,847 --> 00:12:47,392
do any of your animals
mate for life?
257
00:12:47,392 --> 00:12:49,686
Oh, sure.
My shingleback lizards
are a prime--
258
00:12:49,686 --> 00:12:52,272
And where do you stand
on that philosophy?
259
00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:54,733
- I'm sorry?
-"Till death do you part."
260
00:12:54,733 --> 00:12:56,526
What's your take on that?
261
00:12:56,526 --> 00:12:59,863
Well, I'd say those
shingleback lizards
never met my last wife.
262
00:12:59,863 --> 00:13:01,364
[audience laughing]
263
00:13:01,364 --> 00:13:03,533
And what about
your first wife?
264
00:13:06,495 --> 00:13:08,705
Oh, my God.
265
00:13:08,705 --> 00:13:10,790
[laughs nervously]
What are you doing?
266
00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:13,126
{\an8}I made it clear
to your producer
I don't talk about her.
267
00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:14,711
Oh, come on!
268
00:13:14,711 --> 00:13:17,047
The first woman
to land Todd Fox.
269
00:13:17,047 --> 00:13:20,425
I bet our audience
would love to know her secret.
270
00:13:20,425 --> 00:13:22,719
[audience howling]
271
00:13:22,719 --> 00:13:24,554
[sighs] She was
the love of my life.
272
00:13:24,554 --> 00:13:28,099
Speaking of love,
I brought two lovely little
squirrel monkeys today
273
00:13:28,099 --> 00:13:30,268
and one of them can actually
read and write!
274
00:13:30,268 --> 00:13:32,604
The other one, well,
he just isn't getting it.
275
00:13:32,604 --> 00:13:34,272
So it wasn't her money?
276
00:13:34,272 --> 00:13:37,067
Hey, come on.
Are we here to talk
about dead relationships
277
00:13:37,067 --> 00:13:39,903
or see a squirrel monkey
get tangled up
in Trish's hair?
278
00:13:39,903 --> 00:13:42,906
Fascinating choice of words.
279
00:13:42,906 --> 00:13:45,200
"Dead relationships."
280
00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:47,118
Please don't do this.
281
00:13:47,118 --> 00:13:49,663
Bring up
the newspaper, please.
282
00:13:50,664 --> 00:13:53,416
Is that her, Todd?
She's gorgeous.
283
00:13:53,416 --> 00:13:56,294
Oh, God,
I've never even seen these.
284
00:13:56,294 --> 00:13:57,754
Is that "the" moment?
285
00:13:57,754 --> 00:14:00,423
You tell us.
It was your honeymoon.
286
00:14:00,423 --> 00:14:02,592
An heiress! Wow!
287
00:14:02,592 --> 00:14:05,345
What happened to her money
after that?
288
00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:07,430
I took over the estate.
289
00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:10,809
And how much
do bald eagles cost?
290
00:14:10,809 --> 00:14:13,353
All your animals
must have been
a small fortune.
291
00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:15,272
I don't think I like
what you're implying.
292
00:14:15,272 --> 00:14:17,774
Then I'll stop implying
and ask.
293
00:14:17,774 --> 00:14:20,902
Todd Fox, did you
murder your wife?
294
00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:24,948
I didn't kill my wife!
295
00:14:24,948 --> 00:14:27,951
Do you notice anything
missing from those pictures?
It's me!
296
00:14:27,951 --> 00:14:29,661
I didn't even make it
to Costa Rica
297
00:14:29,661 --> 00:14:32,956
because I got such severe food
poisoning on the layover,
298
00:14:32,956 --> 00:14:34,624
I had to be hospitalized.
299
00:14:34,624 --> 00:14:37,544
I slipped in and out
of a diarrhea coma for weeks.
300
00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:40,338
I have the hospital records.
I'd never kill her.
301
00:14:40,338 --> 00:14:42,048
I loved her. [sobbing]
302
00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:47,012
This has Hayley
written all over it.
303
00:14:47,012 --> 00:14:50,473
- Oh, no.
- [audience] Boo!
304
00:14:50,473 --> 00:14:52,225
Commercial!
Throw to commercial!
305
00:14:52,350 --> 00:14:53,727
[audience] Boo!
306
00:14:53,727 --> 00:14:55,645
- [glass breaking]
- Well, that's our careers.
307
00:14:55,645 --> 00:14:57,647
Good run, ladies.
I hope it was worth it.
308
00:14:57,647 --> 00:14:59,691
Sir, please!
It was all my fault.
309
00:14:59,691 --> 00:15:02,152
Oh, it's your fault?
Oh, fantastic!
310
00:15:02,152 --> 00:15:04,821
I'll just go tell the network
that it wasn't Trish and Suze
311
00:15:04,821 --> 00:15:08,658
who accused
a national treasure
of murder on live TV!
312
00:15:08,658 --> 00:15:11,328
It was you with your hand
up their asses!
313
00:15:11,328 --> 00:15:13,538
It's not that bad, Charlie.
314
00:15:13,538 --> 00:15:15,874
We can fix it after the break.
315
00:15:15,874 --> 00:15:18,251
You think I'm letting you
go back out there?
316
00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:21,171
You're done!
I'm running MacGyver
the rest of the day.
317
00:15:21,171 --> 00:15:23,173
Come on,
did you guys give up
318
00:15:23,173 --> 00:15:27,010
when Suze electrocuted
Ryan Reynolds with
a car battery?
319
00:15:27,010 --> 00:15:29,846
Did you call it quits
when Suze tricked
Michelle Obama
320
00:15:29,846 --> 00:15:32,182
into eating peanuts to see
if her allergy was fake?
321
00:15:32,182 --> 00:15:34,726
It is always you, isn't it?
322
00:15:34,726 --> 00:15:36,895
All we need is the fluffiest,
323
00:15:36,895 --> 00:15:40,357
sweetest, bubbliest apology
segment you've ever done.
324
00:15:40,357 --> 00:15:43,068
I've learned my lesson.
Screw journalism!
325
00:15:43,068 --> 00:15:45,862
Put me in a bikini!
Give me a mimosa!
326
00:15:45,862 --> 00:15:49,366
[sighs] Oh, God,
that's actually really nice.
327
00:15:49,366 --> 00:15:53,036
If we can get Todd Fox
back out there,
she might be right.
328
00:15:53,036 --> 00:15:55,413
But I'm warning you,
stick to the cards!
329
00:15:55,413 --> 00:15:57,916
Anything different,
and you'll be hosting another
330
00:15:57,916 --> 00:16:02,045
Trish and Suze booze cruise
from Port Lewes to Santa Cruz.
331
00:16:02,045 --> 00:16:03,588
[audience applauding]
332
00:16:03,588 --> 00:16:07,384
Welcome back.
If you were around
for our last segment,
333
00:16:07,384 --> 00:16:10,387
you might assume
we're cooking up some crow.
334
00:16:11,888 --> 00:16:13,056
Nope, Trish.
335
00:16:13,056 --> 00:16:15,058
Today, we're going to teach
everyone at home
336
00:16:15,058 --> 00:16:19,229
how to make apology
sugar cookies for our
dear friend, Todd Fox.
337
00:16:19,229 --> 00:16:20,897
But things
could get interesting
338
00:16:20,897 --> 00:16:26,403
because we'll be trying
to do it in sumo suits!
339
00:16:26,403 --> 00:16:29,406
- [man coughs]
- Can we at least
take those down?
340
00:16:29,406 --> 00:16:31,783
[Suze] Of course.
So sorry, Todd Fox.
341
00:16:31,783 --> 00:16:35,912
Okay, now nothing
says "I'm sorry"
better than butter...
342
00:16:35,912 --> 00:16:38,081
Hang on. Put it back up.
343
00:16:38,081 --> 00:16:39,749
[audience exclaims]
344
00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:43,670
I know that fanny pack.
345
00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:49,342
{\an8}Holy [bleep]! It's Kristoff!
346
00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:51,136
Back to commercial!
347
00:16:51,136 --> 00:16:53,596
So the octopus
was the fanny pack, right?
348
00:16:53,596 --> 00:16:57,851
And in the photo
where she falls,
the fanny pack is gone! Look!
349
00:16:57,851 --> 00:16:59,978
[♪ suspenseful music playing]
350
00:16:59,978 --> 00:17:02,439
So what are we saying?
That Kristoff killed her?
351
00:17:02,439 --> 00:17:05,775
The only way to prove it
is to force a confession.
352
00:17:05,775 --> 00:17:08,945
We've gotta grill the octopus.
353
00:17:08,945 --> 00:17:10,530
Are you sure
you want to do this?
354
00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:11,948
You could just back out now.
355
00:17:11,948 --> 00:17:13,283
Go back to how things were.
356
00:17:13,283 --> 00:17:16,327
- I honestly don't think I can.
- Me neither.
357
00:17:16,327 --> 00:17:20,331
If we're gonna blow up
our career, it should be for
something we're proud of.
358
00:17:20,331 --> 00:17:22,834
Charlie, how long
until we're back?
359
00:17:22,834 --> 00:17:24,461
We're not going back on.
360
00:17:24,461 --> 00:17:27,881
I'm not letting you hurt
America's sweetheart anymore.
361
00:17:27,881 --> 00:17:31,050
Where's the one where
MacGyver blows up a plane?
That's a good one.
362
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:32,510
[Hayley] We're back in ten!
363
00:17:32,510 --> 00:17:34,304
I knocked out
the board operator!
364
00:17:34,304 --> 00:17:36,639
He was helping us!
365
00:17:36,639 --> 00:17:40,643
Oh. Well, he's... Okay,
he's bleeding pretty bad.
366
00:17:40,643 --> 00:17:42,479
[audience applauding]
367
00:17:42,479 --> 00:17:46,900
Kristoff, how long have you
known Todd Fox?
368
00:17:46,900 --> 00:17:48,860
[Kristoff]
Kristoff's whole life,
369
00:17:48,860 --> 00:17:52,822
but heart feels
it has known him longer.
370
00:17:52,822 --> 00:17:54,491
- [woman in audience] Aw!
- Shh!
371
00:17:54,491 --> 00:17:56,910
You'd do anything for him,
wouldn't you?
372
00:17:56,910 --> 00:17:58,203
Even kill?
373
00:17:58,203 --> 00:17:59,496
What the hell?
374
00:17:59,496 --> 00:18:01,080
Hayley, pull it up!
375
00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:07,712
- That looks a lot
like you, Kristoff.
- It really does.
376
00:18:07,712 --> 00:18:09,172
But that's impossible.
377
00:18:09,172 --> 00:18:11,841
You would have been
by Todd Fox's bedside.
378
00:18:11,841 --> 00:18:15,512
Unless you had
a more important reason
to follow Lisa.
379
00:18:15,512 --> 00:18:18,014
Like motive.
380
00:18:18,014 --> 00:18:19,682
- [Kristoff] I...
- Come on, Suze.
381
00:18:19,682 --> 00:18:21,351
What are you suggesting?
382
00:18:21,351 --> 00:18:24,896
That a dumb little octopus
can plan that far ahead?
383
00:18:24,896 --> 00:18:29,025
[Kristoff] Dumb?
Is smuggling myself
into a foreign country
384
00:18:29,025 --> 00:18:32,195
to commit the perfect murder
in the name of love dumb?
385
00:18:32,195 --> 00:18:34,197
- [audience gasps]
- Kristoff?
386
00:18:34,197 --> 00:18:35,865
[Kristoff] Oh, come on, Todd.
387
00:18:35,865 --> 00:18:40,203
You must have felt
the energy between us.
We are electric together.
388
00:18:40,203 --> 00:18:44,040
Lisa felt it.
She wanted to separate us!
389
00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:47,710
- It was her or me.
- I can't believe this.
390
00:18:47,710 --> 00:18:50,797
You killed my wife,
deceived me all these years...
391
00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:53,591
[Kristoff] The masks are off,
my darling.
392
00:18:53,591 --> 00:18:56,052
We can finally be together.
393
00:18:56,052 --> 00:18:59,389
[imitates buzzer]
You're going to jail. The zoo?
394
00:18:59,389 --> 00:19:01,724
Are all animals
in the zoo criminals?
395
00:19:01,724 --> 00:19:02,934
Look out!
396
00:19:02,934 --> 00:19:04,477
[Trish screams]
397
00:19:07,689 --> 00:19:10,066
- [Suze gasps]
- [audience gasps]
398
00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:12,777
I don't know
which one is which!
399
00:19:12,777 --> 00:19:15,488
- Why do you have a gun?
- I always have a gun!
400
00:19:15,488 --> 00:19:17,073
Shoot us both!
401
00:19:17,073 --> 00:19:19,075
What? Why shoot
either of them?
402
00:19:24,372 --> 00:19:25,623
That's my partner.
403
00:19:25,623 --> 00:19:27,417
- [gunshot]
- Ahh!
404
00:19:27,417 --> 00:19:30,128
Sorry, Trish.
That was a whoopsie bullet.
405
00:19:30,128 --> 00:19:32,422
Well, that's our time.
406
00:19:32,422 --> 00:19:37,176
Join us tomorrow when
we'll play Flip-Cup Charades
with Dame Helen Mirren.
407
00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:38,595
See you tomorrow, America!
408
00:19:38,595 --> 00:19:39,679
- [gunshot]
- Ooh!
409
00:19:41,014 --> 00:19:43,141
Seems like we're all over
the hump with this bug.
410
00:19:43,141 --> 00:19:45,476
- I'm even a little hungry.
- Me too.
411
00:19:45,476 --> 00:19:48,771
Too bad the only thing
we have to eat
is that bad paella.
412
00:19:48,771 --> 00:19:51,482
Eh, what the hell!
I'll take another swing
with the paella.
413
00:19:51,482 --> 00:19:53,443
- It'd be a shame to waste it.
- Me, too.
414
00:19:53,443 --> 00:19:55,361
And besides,
maybe I'm misremembering it
415
00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:58,281
because it's been a minute,
but I don't even think
we got that sick.
416
00:19:59,616 --> 00:20:01,993
It's the paella! [groans]
417
00:20:01,993 --> 00:20:03,870
Somebody dump out
those Gatorades,
418
00:20:03,870 --> 00:20:06,623
so we can use the bottles
for on-the-go paella.
419
00:20:07,957 --> 00:20:11,461
To a great damn show.
420
00:20:11,461 --> 00:20:14,255
You know what
I still can't figure out?
Who wrote that note?
421
00:20:21,888 --> 00:20:24,474
It was the monkey.
The monkey that
can write did it.
422
00:20:24,474 --> 00:20:26,017
That makes sense.
423
00:20:26,017 --> 00:20:28,811
Wow, you really
figured everything out,
Hayley Smith.
424
00:20:28,811 --> 00:20:31,314
Yeah, Hayley,
you've got a job here anytime.
425
00:20:31,314 --> 00:20:33,483
{\an8}In fact, I have a feeling
a lot of things
426
00:20:33,483 --> 00:20:35,234
{\an8}are going to be
changing around here.
427
00:20:37,278 --> 00:20:39,155
{\an8}Morning, ladies.
How're we feeling?
428
00:20:39,155 --> 00:20:40,657
{\an8}It's talking to me!
429
00:20:40,657 --> 00:20:42,909
{\an8}Gross, it looked you
right in the face!
430
00:20:42,909 --> 00:20:44,869
{\an8}- But yesterday, you...
- We what?
431
00:20:44,869 --> 00:20:48,331
{\an8}Got blackout drunk,
had a great show, and forgot
everything that happened?
432
00:20:48,331 --> 00:20:50,333
{\an8}That's Morning Mimosa!, kid!
433
00:20:50,333 --> 00:20:53,336
{\an8}No way she's a kid.
She looks 35.
434
00:20:53,336 --> 00:20:55,630
{\an8}Get out of here, old kid!
35001
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