Original subtitles

Theo!

Please, God, no.

THEO!

Theo. Theo.

Theo. Theo!

Theo! Theo!

Theo!

Theo!

Help!

MUSIC: 'Beautiful Strangers' by Kevin Morby

# If you ever... #

Right, shall we take Mr Fish home

and get some milk for Mummy's coffee?

Yeah! Yeah?

Mr Fish is coming over... HE GRUNTS

THEO LAUGHS

# Above the weather

# Oh, and whether You're gonna get on in... #

Right. Ready? One, two, three, whoo!

Go on, go and find Mummy.

Mum, I saw a boat! You saw a boat?!

I don't believe you.

And... we got Mummy her milk, didn't we?

Morning.

Frothy milky! Frothy milky, frothy milky.

Mads.

SHE SIGHS

Leave some frothy milky for Daddy, yeah?

Is that enough?

Mummy has to go to work,

and you're gonna stay here with Daddy, aren't ya?

Love you.

Right, let's finish your breakfast

and get you off to nursery, little man.

# Won't you sing for me A melody

# Into the night air? #

Wait for me at the gates, Theo.

Hey, Shaz!

Hey, Emelia, hello!

Er, hey, buddy, what about my hug? THEO SQUEALS

# If I die too young... #

Remember, what do we say?

BOTH: Kind words, gentle hands.

Right, go on. Go on.

Good morning. THEO: Good morning.

Mr Riley? Yes?

Can I have a quick word? Yes.

It's about sports day.

# Hear that gunshot... #

OK, we've got two sea bass, table four.

Service, please. Yes, Chef!

Thank you.

Is that enough salt you're putting in there?

Serious? I know you love your salt.

PHONE RINGS

Pete, I'm just in the middle of the...

What? Why?

Erm...

Yeah. Yeah, I can go now. I can be there in 30 minutes.

Thank you for coming at such short notice.

Let's start with introductions.

Martin Swale, Chief Executive of Cornwall Hospitals Trust.

We've met before.

Dr Hannah Wendle, Neonatal Lead Consultant.

Naomi Relph, Legal Counsel.

We've become aware of...

a serious issue concerning Theo's birth.

There was a lot of issues.

This is something that none of us

had any knowledge of until very recently.

There's no easy way of saying this...

..but we have reason to believe...

..Theo is not your biological son.

What are you talking about?

We think...

you left the hospital with another couple's son...

..and they left with your biological son.

No.

No, you've made some sort of mistake.

We're looking into events the day your son and Theo were admitted...

Our son? Our son is Theo.

With your cooperation, we will get to the bottom of this.

Our cooperation? What do you mean?

We'd like to DNA test the both of you and Theo,

so we can determine your biological relationship.

LAUGHING: What?

If you don't consent,

then the other party can take legal action...

to compel you.

No.

No, there's no way we're doing that.

How... How can you be so sure that it isn't another family?

Another child?

There were only two premature babies admitted that day.

MONITOR BEEPS

Obviously, this is going to come as a huge shock to you both.

And as I said, it is information

that we have only just become aware of ourselves.

I'd like to explain

that there will be a full investigation taking place,

and we'll keep you informed every step of the way.

I'm so sorry.

VOICE BECOMES INDISTINCT

Pete. I can't, Maddie. I just can't.

Theo is our son.

Someone, somewhere, has made some bullshit, fucked-up error.

I hope so.

But what if they're right?

No, Maddie. Don't go there.

This is our Theo we're talking about.

I know.

I know.

What about this other child?

CUTLERY CLATTERS Jesus, Maddie! I don't know!

He could be ours.

Our child, who isn't Theo?

Maybe.

I don't care what anyone says...

..or what our results come back as.

Theo is ours.

I'm gonna pick up our son.

I'm so sorry to intrude. I'm Miles Lambert.

I'm, er...

the other dad.

Do you, er, do you have a moment?

Look, feel free to tell me to piss off, for sure.

Erm...

Hiya. You must be Madelyn. I'm Miles.

MILES CLEARS THROAT

I am sorry for barging in like this,

but I'll only stay for a minute.

Look, this whole situation is just...

Horrific. Yeah. Yeah.

The past few weeks have been unbelievable.

Wait, weeks? Yes.

That's when we found out, cos David, erm, our son...

HE STUTTERS

Our son, erm...

..he was having some tests.

Tests? How come? He has some developmental delay.

We were worried it might be genetic, so...

Is he OK? He... Yeah. I mean...

Look, all his results have come back perfectly normal so far, so...

They think it's probably to do with a trauma he suffered at birth.

So, anyway, his genetic results

showed that he wasn't related to either of us, and that was er...

..you know...

categorically the worst moment of my life, so...

that's why I wanted to check on you guys.

We are looking into how the hell this could have happened, you know?

And I thought that you might like this.

It's David.

My wife Lucy took it the other day and...

Yeah, a sweet boy.

Look, I've got no idea where your heads are at,

but I think it would be useful if we could arrange a get-together

just so we could meet the boys properly.

We'd love to have you at ours.

I'm sorry, Miles, but we're still reeling...

and we haven't got our results back yet.

Absolutely. Absolutely, I get it.

I get it. Mm.

Erm...

here's my card, so just drop me a line when you're ready.

I don't suppose you've got a photo of Theo?

Lucy's desperate to see what he looks like.

No, not to hand. I'm sorry.

What about this one?

Here he is.

A wee character.

OK.

Well, I'm sorry for the intrusion.

You've got my number.

OK, I'll see myself out, then. No, it's OK, I'll... OK.

THEO LAUGHS Ah! You found it.

Around!

And down!

Whee!

OK. Find me some, er... PHONE NOTIFICATION

Find me another rock, find another lovely rock!

One more. PHONE NOTIFICATION

MADELYN: Are you sure you put in the right address?

PETE: Yes! Just keep going up here for a bit.

OK, OK. THEO SINGS

I feel like we've been down this road before.

TV SHOW: 'How many frogs...'

Theo, can you turn that down, please?

T, it's the button on the left. Yeah. Thanks, babe.

It's huge. Is this it? It's gotta be. It's the only one.

Yeah, look. Conomor House.

OK. Oh, there's a doorbell, maybe just... press that.

Pete.

How you doing, man? Come in, come in. Hey!

Nice to see you again. Good to see you.

Aye, good to see you. This is my wife, Lucy.

Lucy, this is, erm... this is Peter Riley.

Hi. Lucy. Hi. Pete.

Maddie.

Hope you found us OK. I know we're a bit remote.

Hiya, lad. How you doing?

Hi, Theo. How are you? Good.

Good, yeah. I'm Miles.

Nice to meet you. Er, yeah, no, it was fine.

We missed the little turn-off a couple of times,

but it was... it was OK. LUCY LAUGHS

Everyone does. Hey.

Hi, Miles. I see you've met Theo. Yeah.

How you doing, Theo? Good.

Good, yeah. High five. High five.

Boom! To the side?

Down below? Oh, too slow. THEO GIGGLES

You're too slow. Yeah. Here, Theo, do you like toys?

Mm-hm. Uh-huh, what's your favourite toy?

Er... a rocket toy.

A rocket toy? God, I wonder if we've got a rocket toy?

Actually I've toys that I brought for him...

Shall we go and get it?

Yeah, we'll get Mummy and Daddy a drink, hm?

We get a rocket toy.

BABY CRIES

Spaceship.

It's not a spaceship, Theo. It's just a house. A big house.

Hi. Hi. I'm... I'm Maddie.

Lucy. Nice to meet you.

You too. Come on in.

Yeah.

It was nothing but a building site when I took it over.

I wanted to start it completely from scratch.

Isn't that impressive, Theo?

David's having a nap.

It's incredible. My God, I recognise this.

Oh, it was in the Royal Academy, years ago.

Yeah, Lucy has real talent.

You did this?

Oh, it was a... it was a long time ago.

Don't, I know. Look, I wish she still painted,

but she's just... she's such a dedicated mother.

Oh, erm, I'm just gonna grab a bottle, OK?

I'm gonna go and grab him, you know,

cos I know you really wanna meet him.

Oh, no, you don't have to... No, no, no, honestly, it's fine.

Wow. This place is crazy.

Look at the size of that window. Wow.

It's like an art gallery.

It's a bit different from our house, isn't it?

CORK POPS Jesus Christ!

SHE CHUCKLES

We're, erm... We're really glad you came.

I've lived here my whole life.

I thought I knew every inch of this coastline.

I don't think I've ever seen this view.

Well, I knew I wanted to design something for this landscape

as soon as I saw it.

It's a surfer's paradise. Do you know, I actually don't surf.

You're Cornish. I know.

You know that, right? That's blasphemy.

Well, cheers, I guess. Is that weird?

Slainte. GLASSES CLINK

Hi, David.

It's so nice to meet you.

Ah, he likes you.

Theo, this is... this is David.

He's gonna be your new friend.

Do you wanna say hello? Hello, David.

Hello, David.

We'll get her. Tania! Tania?

Do you wanna take them and let the grown-ups talk?

Yeah. Hey.

Hey, Theo, would you like to come for a play?

Don't worry, we can, er... we can keep an eye on them.

Shall we? Yes.

OK? Yeah, fine. Let's go.

Oh, he is a wee character, isn't he?

Yeah.

Are you guys, erm... You all right? I'm good, thank you.

Maddie? Er, yeah. Thanks.

Are you not having any, Lucy?

Oh, no, no, no. This one does not drink.

So, Maddie.

Galway girl, fancy chef in London,

and now you run one of the most successful local restaurants.

That is quite something. Wow, you've done your research.

Well, I was curious. We've eaten there a few times.

Yeah, I... I thought I recognised you.

Erm, I just thought it was because of the NICU.

But... did we speak back then?

It's all a bit of a blur for me. Yeah, I'm... I'm not sure.

Where are you from, Miles?

Glasgow, originally, but I don't go back much.

Both my parents are dead.

I'm so sorry to hear that.

Oh, don't be daft, it's a long time ago.

It's so impressive that you manage to juggle it all.

You know? The work, baby.

It's a lot.

Yeah, erm, well, luckily, Pete is at home to look after Theo.

Yeah, I used to be a journalist,

but then I gave it up to take care of Theo.

Now that he's at nursery, I've got an interview for a landscaping job

to make some extra cash.

Right.

Good God, I absolutely hate small talk.

Do you mind if we, you know, talk about why we're here?

Absolutely. Absolutely.

Erm, look, obviously, this is all incredibly delicate.

We thought it'd be best just to lay it all out, so...

..what do you wanna do?

OK, well, erm...

..we would like to keep Theo.

And we want to keep David.

And...

we would like a role in David's life.

Likewise with Theo.

Who knows, maybe, in time, they'll be like brothers.

I was an only child, I always wanted a sibling, so...

OK. THEY LAUGH

Oh, my God. OK.

Good. Good, I'm so glad we're all on the same page.

You won't believe how nervous I've been,

well, we've both been about all of this.

It's just been a waking nightmare.

Erm, one last thing.

I think we should sue the hospital.

Well, erm... Erm...

OK. I'm not sure how that will fix this, though.

Well, it might not fix anything,

but it could make sure it doesn't happen again.

Do you have a good lawyer?

Er, we've been speaking to someone.

Mostly about what happens with the kids.

But, look, if we win, you can keep all the money.

We don't, erm... We don't need it.

It's up to you, of course, but, erm...

maybe you could just give it some thought?

Yeah. No, of course, yeah. Great. Great.

OK. Right, shall we go spend some time with our boys?

PETE LAUGHS, THEO SQUEALS

So nice to meet you, David.

I don't suppose I could get a hug?

Oh, he's not really used to that...

Oh!

Bye-bye! Bye-bye.

Bye-bye. Watch out, hands and feet.

All right, well, we should grab that drink.

Or we go for a surf. Ah...

My favourite cove's great for beginners.

You need to get back in the water.

Let's start with a drink.

Thank you for today. Thank you.

Just text me when you're free. I will.

Right, mate, this is yours. Come on.

Argh!

Mate, I totally got up!

Pete, yes! Yes, Pete! Whoo!

Woohoo! That is... That is huge, man.

It's all about persistence, that's what we need.

Oh, that felt amazing. Ah!

Persist. Persist, persist. HE LAUGHS

Whoo! Yes! Hi, guys!

You're a Cornish man now! I know!

Did you see that? That was me!

That was me, I totally got up.

You did, yeah. I also saw you stack it.

Hey! No, no, no, no!

All right, let's catch up soon, OK? All right, see you later!

Bye! Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

Here we go, one, two, three, whee!

Sorry, Miles. Who's that?

It's a... It's an old friend, Jen.

Her family. Ah.

Argh! Can't get it off.

Let me, here...

Thank you.

You know, I'm still amazed you cycled

all the way from here to John o' Groats.

That is... That is incredible, man.

Yeah. Fuck knows how I did it.

We raised a lot of money for the NICU, though.

Oh, there's no way Lucy would have let me go.

We were having a hell of a time with David back then.

I wish Lucy had Maddie's resilience.

She seems like she can just take anything in her stride,

letting you go off so soon after the birth.

Maddie's not all that tough.

We struggled after Theo's birth. Maddie wasn't quite herself.

I actually wrote a book about it in a previous life. OK.

I guess that's one way to process it.

Listen, you know, we usually go to Norfolk

during the holidays with Lucy's family.

It's to escape the kids and the tourists.

Lovely.

And we're going in a few weeks. I think you should come.

What, all of us?

Yeah. Lucy's family can't wait to meet Theo, and... Yeah.

Erm... Let me speak to Mads?

Course. Course.

It might be easier to just do a day trip on the beach one weekend, eh?

Ah, but you deserve a break.

They've got acres for Theo to run riot in.

Like, tractors, horses, total freedom. He'll love it.

So will you.

T, slow down, you little lunatic! THEO GIGGLES

Honest to God, that boy can run around all day

and he will still not sleep tonight.

I don't know where he gets the energy.

Probably end up being an athlete one day.

Again, I did just want to say that I...

I'm so sorry that David couldn't make it today.

It's just, you know, we never know when he might need some quiet.

Yeah. No, it's erm...

Another time, perhaps.

Course.

THEO: I see it. PETE: You see that already?

I have good eyes.

PETE LAUGHS You've got good eyes?

I know you've got the best eyes, but you don't...

WOMAN: How's it going?

Do you know what, Theo?

I think you're gonna be a mechanic when you grow up.

Is that what you wanna be? I wanna be like Mummy.

You wanna be like Mummy?

You wanna be a kick-ass chef, like Mummy?

That's a good choice.

Right, so now...

MADELYN: Another pinch of... salt.

Sprinkle, sprinkle, sprinkle.

And we're gonna give it a good stir. What's going on here?

Oh, we're baking a cake. Baking a cake?

Are you a little chef now? Mwah.

Now, that is very impressive. Make sure all the flour's gone.

That's it. Big, big stir, that's it.

So... I just got a call, and, er...

Daddy got the job!

You got the job? I got the job.

That's amazing! It's not bad pay, either.

That's amazing.

It'll definitely take the edge off. PHONE RINGS

Oh, it's work. Can you just...?

Two hands, two hands on... Thank you!

Yeah, yeah, yes. Hold tight! Hiya.

Go on, stir, stir, stir. Ali, hi.

Yes, erm...

What kind of cake are you making, Theo?

A T-Rex!

A T-Rex cake? That's gonna be a big cake, Theo.

That's good, cos Daddy is very hungry right now,

and could do with a big cake.

Big cake with his coffee.

That sounds abso...

Theo, shit! Theo, no! Theo...

Hey, Theo, how many have you had? Hey, look at me.

Spit. Spit, Theo.

Maddie!

You're OK, baby.

It's OK. We're nearly there. Good boy.

DOCTOR: Fortunately, it seems like he only ate one or two,

so we'll keep him in under observation

for just a couple more hours.

He should be fine.

And you're sure? Yes...

MADELYN EXHALES

..but we will have to report this to social services.

Any child exposed to drugs in their home environment... No.

No, please. They...

They're just gummies for his grandad's back.

Regardless, it's still cannabis, and it's illegal.

PAGER BUZZES

It's standard that we report it.

Excuse me.

I'm so sorry, Mads.

We're nearly home, T, OK? Maddie.

And then we... Miles.

What's he doing here? No idea.

Yes!

Hey, Miles.

Peter-loo, how you doing?

Good. How you doing? Yeah, not bad, not bad.

Where is he?

Where is he? Where is he? Let's get you inside.

There he is. Theo!

Theo.

Is this a... Is this a bad time?

Yes. Not at all.

Erm, we've been in the hospital.

What, with Theo? Is he OK? Yeah, he's fine.

Someone had a little accident with, erm...

..with one too many sweeties.

Oh, yeah? Did you have too many sweeties?

Would this... Look, will this make you feel better? Yeah?

Shall we bring it to Norfolk?

Yeah? Yes!

Shall we go on a practice run now?

Shall we go on a practice run? Yeah? Come on.

I'm so sorry, Miles... He wants to play.

The doctor says that he needs his rest.

So I'm gonna take him inside, but that is a...

..a gorgeous gift, thank you. Theo.

Theo! Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

Oh, shame. It's a shame.

Mate, I don't know what to say. Thank you so much.

Ah, don't mention it.

Get me a wee video of him on... on the bike.

Yeah, of course. All right.

OK. Bye. Take care.

Don't sign us up for stuff without asking me first. I know.

They're just trying to make a real effort, Mads.

Maybe we should go, just for the weekend.

It'll mean that we get to spend some more time with David.

I am desperate to spend time with David,

but Lucy always has an excuse,

and I am not going on holiday with a bunch of strangers.

Oh, come on, Mads.

Anyway, we've got to get to know them if this is gonna work.

They're just trying to be nice.

A trip to Norfolk, it is weird. We're not going.

And I don't want any more of this shit in our house.

THEO ON RECORDING: 'This is also...'

TANIA: 'Can you show me that here?

'Ah! That is interesting.'

INDISTINCT VOICES, TOYS CLATTER

Morning, Anna. Morning!

MOBILE PHONE RINGS

Hello?

Yeah, speaking.

Theo hit another child, Pete.

He can be a bit lively, but he's never hit anyone before!

It was Zack Tigman, wasn't it?

Zack cries when the wind blows. We just need to keep the boys apart.

He's not a bad kid, for Christ's sake.

Can you at least just keep him for today?

It's my first day of the new job. I'm afraid not.

I think the boys need a bit of time to cool down.

Look, let me smooth things over with the other parents.

But until then, I'm sorry...

You'll just have to find alternative arrangements for Theo.

HE SIGHS

Ah!

SHE GROANS

RINGING TONE

VOICEMAIL: 'Hi, you've got Maddie's phone. Leave a message.'

Hey, Mads. Look, I'm taking Theo to Miles and Lucy's.

I've tried my dad, and Jen and Maya are busy.

HE SIGHS What a nightmare.

Anyway, look, just call me back when you get this, OK?

'Hi, Pete.' INTERCOM: 'Oh, hi, Lucy! Erm...'

Sorry to turn up out of the blue.

We've got a problem at Theo's nursery.

I hate to ask, but, erm... SHE LAUGHS SOFTLY

..I've tried everyone.

Is there any chance you can take him today?

Of course! Leave him with me. Thank you. Thanks.

MUSIC: 'Un Bel Di, Vedremo' by Puccini

GATE BELL CHIMES

SOFTLY: Thanks for today, Lucy. You've been an absolute lifesaver.

I'm sorry, I couldn't keep them awake. He's been such an angel.

HE LAUGHS SOFTLY

It's so weird seeing them here, sleeping together.

It's only part time, but... at least it'll be regular.

You know, the guys seem lovely, so...

Well, congratulations. CHUCKLING: Thank you.

How are you dealing with everything anyway?

We haven't really spoken about it.

Well...

I do, er, I think it's wonderful how we all seem to get on so well.

Do you?

Look, Maddie would love some time on her own with David.

If that's OK with you.

But listen, Lucy... HE SIGHS SOFTLY

SHE STARTS WHISKING

We're not gonna try and take David away from you or anything like that.

SHE STOPS WHISKING

I know. SHE STARTS WHISKING

SHE INHALES, SIGHS SOFTLY

CRASH SOFTLY: Oh, shit!

Hello?

Hello?

Weird. I think it must've been a badger or something.

THUMP Oh!

GROANING Oh...

LAUGHTER CHUCKLING: Oh, my God!

Mate, I'm so sorry!

PETE LAUGHS LAUGHING: That was...

That was worth... That was worth it just to see your face.

THEY LAUGH

Mm! LUCY SIGHS

You should just share our nanny. Bring Theo here.

Are you sure? He's quite a handful. Yeah, totally. David's so easy.

And it's, you know, it's about time our nanny earns her money!

That's a great idea.

Ah, it's a bit, it's very generous of you guys,

but, to be honest, we can't afford it right now.

We're ploughing every spare penny we have back into the restaurant.

Pete, consider it done. Honestly.

I think it's good for David and Theo to build a bond.

And as you said yourself, you know, it's only temporary.

By the way, I finished your book.

What? I didn't know you were reading it!

Oh, he hasn't stopped raving about it. Mm.

That bit where you find Maddie on the beach in a state,

that's heartbreaking!

It's, it's not, well, it's not actually Maddie, but...

Well, it got me to thinking, why don't you write an article about us?

HE CHUCKLES SOFTLY

Do you know what? I've actually been writing for the first time in ages.

Just some thoughts. You know, help me... process what's going on.

Yeah, well, I mean, it's been madness. Mm. Yeah.

Well, I'd love to read it. I mean, if you don't mind sharing.

Yeah, yeah, of course. Right.

Shower time. HE SIGHS

That needs more salt, babe. OK.

Oh, Pete, things are moving too fast.

He was asleep, I didn't wanna wake him.

And agreeing to a nanny share?

Yeah, we can just try it. And it'll save us some cash.

Look, I know it's not ideal,

but if Theo isn't happy, we'll just find another solution.

I'm not happy!

Mads, it makes sense. You're at work, and now I'm at work.

It gives the boys a good chance to bond.

I don't know, Pete. I don't trust them.

Did you tell them about Norfolk?

UNDER BREATH: Fuck!

I will. I will! It's just there wasn't a good chance.

SOFTLY: 'How's it going?'

I can't get him to breast-feed,

but at least he takes the bottle.

How are you doing? I'm OK.

Actually, that, er, that's not true. They're saying he might not make it.

I'm so... I'm so sorry.

Guys, I'll be back in five, all right? Yes, chef.

MILES SIGHS

How high does the tide rise here?

Maddie!

DISTANT: Maddie! Wait up!

DOORBELL RINGS

I come bearing gifts.

I, er... I remember you said yours was broke, so...

CHUCKLING SOFTLY: Oh, Miles, that's...

That's so thoughtful of you. Thank you.

Yeah, it's the top of the range.

You can link it up to your phone so you can view Theo anywhere.

We've got one, it's great, it's fantastic.

Thank you. Miles!

How you doing? What a nice surprise.

Look, Miles brought us a gift. Another gift, wow.

I missed Theo at ours earlier,

so I wondered if I could get a look at the big man?

He's asleep. Oh, well, I won't wake him, I promise!

SHE SIGHS Not tonight, Miles.

Okey-doke. All right. Well, er, I'll be off.

Thank you for this, mate. All right.

Oh, by the way, Maddie, did I, erm...

Did I see you walking on the beach this afternoon?

Yeah, maybe. Yeah, yeah, I did.

With a really tall guy with dreads. That's Ollie, the chef.

Ah, yeah! I did see you. HE CHUCKLES

OK, enjoy. See ya.

Mm, before you go, Miles,

we've been meaning to talk to you about Norfolk. Oh, yeah?

We can't do it. Sorry.

Why?

Pete's sister, Emma, is over from France with her kids.

OK. OK, well, bring them to Norfolk too.

And I'm sure Emma would, er, would love to meet David, no?

That'll be a bit confusing.

Emma's kids are a bit small, and they adore Theo, so...

Oh. So, it's, erm...

It's gonna be hard, and I think we're all still finding our feet.

Mm. Oh, yeah, yeah.

We'll make Norfolk happen another time, though, yeah? Yeah, yeah.

What can, what can you do? These things happen.

Okey-doke. Er, enjoy your drink.

Thank you again. Good night, Miles. Good night.

Oh, Pete. Do you, erm, do you have the details

of the nurse that was looking after Theo in the NICU? Er, Stella?

Yeah, it's just my lawyer wants to check some facts.

Er, yeah, erm... Do we have to drag the nurses into this?

Isn't that part of the hospital's investigation?

Ah, you know what, don't worry about it.

Don't worry about it, it's fine. It's just I thought...

I thought it would be simpler to get her number from you

so we didn't scare her with legal letters and everything.

But it's, er, it's fine, Pete. All right, mate. Thank you, yeah?

All right, I'll see you soon. Yeah, will do. Cycle safe.

LAUGHTER

Yeah, no, he has, he has, he's been amazing.

He's so accepting of these three new people around.

And even though we have been a little stressed...

Just a teeny, tiny bit. CHUCKLING

..he's, erm, he's been really good.

Well, you're his parents, right?

Day in, day out, supporting him, loving him. That's what counts.

Or maybe Theo just has a thing for posh people.

He loves that nanny. He does!

Well, I mean, who doesn't love a hot nanny?

All right, Jen! All right! LAUGHTER

Is that Miles? MILES: Hey, hey, hey!

Hey, guys! Oh, shite!

They're back early. They're meant to be in Norfolk.

Oh, my God, Norfolk. Oh, my God. Erm...

Er, Jen... Yeah?

You have got, you've gotta be Emma, my sister from France. What? Why?

Emma, my sister from France. No, no.

Yes. Please don't make me do that. Who am I?

You just be you. I can't. You can.

Hello, strangers! Hey! Hey, Madelyn.

Hey, Lucy. Hi! How you doing? How are you?

Erm... How come you guys aren't in Norfolk? Nah, nah.

We decided to leave Norfolk for another time, like you suggested.

Ah, it's always there. Yeah, exactly. Ah, well.

Erm...

Oh, this is - sorry - Miles and Lucy. Hi, I'm Emma.

Oh, hey! Oh! Nice to see you, Emma.

Nice to meet you. This is Lucy.

Hi, Lucy. Hi, yeah. Hi.

Where are the kids?

CORNISH ACCENT: Oh, they were knackered from the flight.

Yeah, they're, er, tucked up in bed with my husband.

JEN CHUCKLES

This is such bad timing, but Emma has to go back

and relieve her poor husband of baby-sitting duties.

Oh! Yeah. Oh, God, of course. My God.

He must be exhausted. CHUCKLING: Yeah.

Poor guy! Just about to go back to my husband, yeah.

So did you fly direct to Newquay,

or did you do the old Paris stopover?

Er, direct, yeah. Well, it's easier with the kids. Mm.

Good. All right, well, it was lovely to see you, thanks for dinner.

Nice to see you. Bye, Emma. Yeah, bye.

IMITATES BUZZER

Can't fly from Marseille to Newquay, Jen.

You're Pete's friends...

..from the beach.

So, where's Emma and her family?

PETE CHUCKLES They're not here. Er...

MILES LAUGHS SOFTLY Well, I can see that, Pete.

What? So we lied.

We didn't wanna go to Norfolk.

What? Mate, my, er...

UNDER BREATH: Jesus Christ. SHE LAUGHS

I've tried. I, I really have tried. I know. But I think it's clear now.

It feels like we are making all this effort to see Theo,

and you two aren't trying very hard to see David at all.

What? Ah, come on. Lucy won't even let me near him, Miles.

Miles, I think we should go. Yeah, I think so too.

All right. OK. Enjoy your evening.

Mate...

Well, that wasn't awkward at all.

I need a drink.

Yeah, I think we all need a drink after that.

LIGHT LAUGHTER

You were great. I cannot believe you made me do that.

CHUCKLING: That was awful! I believed you! Jesus Christ!

We didn't want to go to Norfolk. SIGHING: Yeah...

LAUGHTER

Oh, Mads! Maybe we should apologise? Apologise? No, Pete! No!

We are not apologising. We did nothing wrong.

Oh, Miles's face when you said, "So we lied!"

LAUGHTER God, he's a bit intense, isn't he?

Peter Riley? Madelyn Wilson?

Yeah? Bloody hell, Pete, your dealers are getting a bit swish.

PETE CHUCKLES Wait, sorry, what's this about?

Sorry, mate, what are you...?

Pete, what is it?

What does it say?

He wants both of them. What?

Miles. He wants David and Theo.

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