Original subtitles

Greetings, ladies.

[both] Happy birthday, Nordle.

[gasps] A new pair of loafers!

With the upper heel cushioning.

My Achilles heel is my Achilles heel.

You remembered.

Tobor, add these to my loafer collection.

[Tobor] Yes, sir.

Wow. Your place looks so classy.

Sparkling water.

- Ooh! - Ooh! Fancy!

This is my first birthday since Father's been gone.

In fact, I've never had a birthday party.

You don't get a birthday party, son.

Turning a year older is no accomplishment.

Come back to me when you invent your first doomsday weapon.

So today, I'm rolling 10 birthday parties into one.

First, we're gonna play a rousing game of

Pin the vertex on the parabola,

followed by a math magician.

His equations are spell binding.

- And then a dunk tank. - With a clown?

Close. An associate professor of philosophy.

And we'll top it all off with some Swedish anchovy cake.

[Tobor] Oh, no.

Hey, where are you going, Tobor?

We're on a very tight schedule.

- Nowhere. Bye. - Ow! Okay. All right. I'll leave.

You don't have to... Hi, Nordie.

I'm so used to your dad's killer robots chasing me away.

But I've never seen one run from little old me. [laughs]

Aunt Lorraine?

So your dad's still in the slammer, huh?

He's away.

Gretel, Bailey.

This is my Aunt Lorraine, who lives in Reno,

and is now inexplicably in our midst.

I'm sure she flew in for your birthday.

Uh... Yeah, exactly.

That's exactly what I did.

BRB.

[footsteps running]

- [objects clatter loudly] - [cat screeches]

Happy birthday, Nordie.

It's a carjack.

You never know when it'll come in handy.

Gee, thanks.

You know, Nordle's dad and I grew up in this house together.

Well, I think I'm gonna fix myself a snack.

I hope I don't have to fight any killer robots in there. [laughs]

Ugh! Stay out of there.

[groans in frustration]

Speaking of robots, where is Tobor?

The last Swedish anchovy cake of the day.

[together] May I have that cake, please?

Please, I need this cake for a precocious little boy's birthday.

But I need this for my cat Buttons.

It's his birthday, too, you know.

I beg of you. I'll do anything.

Anything, you say? Very well.

I will wrestle you for the cake.

Let's rumble.

- [yelling] - Help! Send the police now!

Aunt Lorraine is like a giant, impulsive child.

She's gonna ruin my meticulously planned birthday.

Ugh! See what I mean?

Spill it, Lorraine.

Why are you actually here?

I swung by to pick up my old guitar.

I think it's in my old practice room.

You're a musician? That's so cool.

Yeah, I had a big hit back in '96 called Bad Bad Heart.

That single went platinum in Liechtenstein.

- Cool! - Cool!

Yes, yes. 1996 was a good year for you.

Anyhoo, it is my birthday, and we have a very tight schedule,

so you'll have to come back another day.

But I'm here now, Nordie.

I've never been a planner like you or your dad.

I'm like the wind. I live in the moment.

Wind is not alive, Lorraine.

It's a result of pressure systems and...

Ugh! You wouldn't understand.

Come on, Nordle. She came all this way.

- Let's just help your aunt find her guitar. - Yeah.

I'll get a headstart.

Last one to catch me is one of my creditors. [laughs]

[groans in frustration]

[loud grunting]

I called you guys to arrest them.

We will. we will.

Just as soon as the ref gets to the count of three.

- One, two- - Aha!

Ooh, so close.

Ah! My old practice room. Just like I left it.

Ow! Well, it's December somewhere. [laughs]

- Found it. - Oh! My guitar!

[grunting]

Okay. How do you... [straining]

[groans] Oh, I gotta pitch out.

I gotta pitch out.

[straining, grunting]

Ow! I'm gonna...

Okay, hold on. I'm gonna anchor myself.

[straining]

It's taking me.

It's taking me. [grunts] I got it.

All right. You got what you came for.

Now you can leave.

Not so fast.

Hey! Who wants to hear Bad Bad Heart live?

- No one. - [both] Me, me, me!

[amplifier buzzes]

[strumming guitar]

[exclaims] What's happening?

- [both gasp] - Where'd she go?

Hello? Kids?

Nordle? Anybody?

Where am I?

It looks just like my practice room, but backwards.

And no doors out.

Oh! A salad bar!

Hello, Lorraine.

Jack! What gives?

[groans] Is this another one of your weird mannequins

with a prerecorded message?

I have trapped you in an alternate dimension, little sister.

I got sick of you constantly showing up unannounced

and jamming out to your awful music.

Okay, that only happened like, 23 times.

So I experimented with the space-time continuum.

This way, the next time you came back

and played your wretched guitar again,

you'd get sucked into this other dimension.

Sheesh! You know, most people just change the locks.

Enjoy being trapped in here forever.

And the complimentary salad bar.

I mean, I'm not a monster.

There's no Thousand Island dressing!

You are monster!

[faintly] I'm getting out of here!

She's gonna be trapped in there forever if we don't do something.

Indeed she will.

And now we can get back to the festivities.

But Nordle, you can't leave your estranged aunt

in an alternate dimension created by your supervillain father,

I don't care how good the salad bar is.

[Lorraine] It's not that good.

Father was right to trap her.

Lorraine only thinks about herself.

And right now you're only thinking about yourself.

[groans]

Okay, fine.

If Father set up all that stuff in the other dimension,

he must have used some sort of exit to get back out.

[strikes chord]

[Nordle] Whoa!

Well, that's the last of the croutons.

Nordie! Ah, thank goodness you're here.

Did you happen to bring any croutons with you?

I can't believe you could eat at a time like this. Ugh!

Now, there's gotta be some kind of hidden exit in here,

or at least some way to trigger it.

When I'm stuck on a problem, I take a little break

and think about something else.

If you live in the moment, solutions will come to you, just like the wind.

Ugh. How could you be so different from me and Father?

Oh, you're more like me than you think.

You've got a good heart.

Your father, though...

Let me guess. He has a bad heart.

No, a bad, bad heart.

[rock music starts playing]

I walked right into that one.

? You got a bad, bad heart ?

? You got a bad, bad heart ?

? You're so quick to judge ?

? You always hold a grudge ?

? You got a bad, bad heart ?

? You got a bad, bad heart ?

? You got a bad, bad heart ?

? You only write me when you use a poison pen ?

? You got a bad, bad heart ?

? I know I stepped across a couple of lines ?

? I got some tickets and a bunch of fines ?

? But you won't even look me in the eyes ?

? Even when I'm trying to apologize ?

? You've done this from the start ?

? It's tearing me apart ?

? You got a bad, bad heart ?

? Take this with a grain of salt ?

? 'Cause we know it's my fault ?

? You got a bad, bad heart ?

Ah. The people of Liechtenstein have pretty good taste.

For Buttons!

Hya-ha!

[Tobor] Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

Did you see that small SUV Luchador drives?

Can you believe he had this entire ring disassembled in his trunk?

Man, I gotta get one of those SUVs.

[gasps] We are never getting out of here.

Oh, we'll be fine.

Trust your Aunt Lorraine.

You'll be surprised, when you chill out and have a good time

answers can come to you.

You just got to go with the flow.

Hey!

[giggles]

[both laughing]

Whoa!

Incoming.

Ugh! Not olives!

I hate olives!

Me, too. See, Nordie?

We have more in common than you thought.

Wait a second. That's it.

Look! If you hate olives, Father probably knew you wouldn't touch them.

So...

[both] The way out is through the olives!

There's got to be a switch at the bottom.

Ugh! I guess it's time for me to take one for the team.

Oh! Auntie Lorraine.

What are you doing?

[retching] I'm trying to eat our way to that switch.

We could just scoop them out of the way.

Uh, yeah, that makes more sense.

I can see the switch at the bottom!

[both gasp]

The portal is closing again.

is that shrimp?

That's not gonna hold it for long.

You go, Nordle. I'll stay behind.

I love room temperature eggs.

How am I get out?

There's a tin of half-eaten shrimp in the way.

I'll throw you through. Your head'll knock the tin out of the way.

- What? - Here we go.

- No, no! Don't! This is gonna hurt. - Cover your head.

It's the only way.

You could throw me feet first.

Too late for that. I've got too much momentum.

Ow!

That was every bit as painful as I thought it would be.

Auntie Lorraine!

What are we gonna do?

Ooh! I got it. I'll be right back.

Curse my weak forearms!

[crashing]

Phew! Hey, you used the carjack.

I told you it would come in handy.

Thanks, Aunt Lorraine.

I couldn't have done it without you.

And you know what? I actually had fun being trapped

in another dimension with you,

even if it was infested with olives.

I had fun, too, Nordie.

But what do you say we get back to your party itinerary?

Meh. Let's just see where the day takes us.

Like the wind.

That's not how the wind works.

Hey, I'm the know-it-all here.

[Tobor] There you are.

Who is ready for anchovy cake?

I'm fish pastry intolerant.

Yeah, me too.

Uh, no, thanks. I filled up on olives. [retches]

Well, I'll certainly have some.

Thank goodness.

Because I went to great lengths to get this cake.

[metal crashing]

[groans] Ow!

I need a doctor.

[theme music playing]

? Hamster and Gretel ?

? It's Hamster ?

? Hamster and Gretel ?

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