Original subtitles

[Fistpuncher] Okay, footkicker,

let us go over our brilliant three-step plan.

Step one,

escape from prison.

Step two, become the most feared and respected

supervillains in town by destroying the entire mall.

And step three--

Get my sister, AKA the Ex-Destructress,

fired from her new job at the mall just for fun.

Oh, I was gonna say, get me a billing costume.

But I love a pivot.

Oh, me too. High five.

Oh, hey, we can totally use this for step one.

Perfect! High five.

High five--

Maybe we should just punch and kick instead of high-five.

Nah, this is more fun.

- High five. - [banging]

Let's go get famous.

Yeah, uh...

- Dude. - Oh.

I forgot you don't fly.

- Bummer. - Yeah.

Oh, good.

Ah! Ah, no!

What's wrong, dude? Are you afraid of heights?

No, clouds! No!

[shouting continues]

[sniffing]

Oh, what smells like stinky cheese?

Oh. It's stinky cheese.

Ooh! Limburger King must really need business.

Oh, there's Irony Outfitters.

Come on. I need to grab a couple of things.

Look, Lauren the Destructress is working here.

- Let's go say hi. - Wait, wait, wait.

This is not good.

What if she's up to some, like, evil scheme or something?

I think she quit being evil a while ago.

Hey, Gretel and Kevin. Welcome to Irony Outfitters.

Lauren, I didn't know you got a job at the mall.

That's really cool.

Thanks. I've always wanted to work

in nonconformist conformist retail.

Can I help you find something expensive that looks cheap?

That's okay. I'll just-- [grunts]

[gasps] That is so cute on you.

I know exactly what'll go with it.

She's totally got an evil plan.

I could see it in her eyes.

They look so villainous.

Nah, that's just smoky eye shadow.

- Welcome to Irony Outfitters, may I-- - Hands off, Piper.

- That one's mine! - [screams]

Uh, hello? Did you see that!

I guess we can take a closer look.

Let's invite her to lunch.

[Kevin] Okay. But no carbs.

I'm doing this paleo thing.

[man shouting]

Okay, bro. Relax. No more clouds.

[sighs] Sorry, I don't know what goes on in those things.

But don't worry, clouds are my only weakness.

I'm a real supervillain.

Do you want to hear my origin story?

- Not really. - It all started last summer when I was searching

for my one true passion in life

and decided it was football.

But I'm small and flinch a lot,

so I practiced being a kicker.

[grunts]

But I had weak feet!

I didn't quit, though. I signed up for a clinical trial,

looking for old people who wanted stronger hands to open jars.

Luckily, the scientist was gung ho

to strengthen my feet instead.

She put my right foot in some science juice for like two hours.

My foot got huge, but still so weak.

But she'd managed to make my foot this big,

so there had to be more she could do.

Just as I was giving up hope...

I was shot with a green ray.

And my little foot got really strong.

I had so much fun wrecking stuff.

People were finally respecting me

and taking me seriously enough to throw me in jail.

Now I know that my one true passion in life is being a jerk.

- Cloud. - [shouts]

[crying]

- We're here. - Whoo!

Time to get my sister fired and put ourselves on the map.

When Lauren gets here, I'll casually dig for information

to see if she's up to anything evil.

You just act normal.

Easy enough.

- What should I do? - Be a hamster!

- Hey, guys. - Hey, Lauren, have a seat.

I think it's high time we get to know each other better.

- Don't you? - For sure.

Other than babysitting and retail,

what do you like to do for fun?

You know, go to the movies, take walks, rob banks?

[chuckles] You're so funny.

Actually, I'm a pretty law-abiding citizen.

Really. That's so funny!

You seem like the type of person to be into like breaking the rules.

Am I right?

- Oh, totally! - I knew it.

Like today, at work, we have a dress code

and my socks are like 2 inches longer than they're supposed to be.

Whoa! Pretty rule-breaky!

I'm sure you have more than that, though.

Oh, I do. But I'm going to go grab a pretzel first.

Be right back.

She's totally hiding something.

- What? - You're making it weird, bro.

Oh, I am not.

Yeah, my hero hunch is not going off.

Just let it go.

Nope. Not letting it go is what I do best.

Quick question. You see that cute guy over there?

I think he might be flirting with me.

I mean, I hope he's flirting with me, but I can't tell.

What do you think?

[munching]

Hmm. Hard to say. Go ask him some super personal questions

and I'll check the body language.

Great idea.

Thanks.

Finally get to use that master's in behavioral science.

Before we get my sister fired and wreck the cheese,

we need, like, a catchy catch phrase.

Great idea, boss.

Oh, I got one. Okay, here goes.

It's fist-foot time!

Oh, wow! That's good.

Yeah, I know, right?

It just popped into my head.

Fist-foot time!

Lauren, where are you?

It's time to get really, really embarrassed,

and then fired!

- Lauren! - Lauren's out to lunch right now.

Oh! In that case, could you help me find

a supervillain sidekick costume?

I'll have to steal it, obviously,

because we're scary supervillains.

Clearly.

[sighs] Maybe there's something in the fall collection

that might make you mildly intimidating.

This is Veronica Hill with Mayor Meyer

at the unveiling of the world's largest wheel of stinky cheese.

Because covering poorly attended marketing ploys

by failing businesses is a reporter's dream.

Great to be with you, Veronica.

- My wife and I have been buying our cheese at, uh... - [whispering indistinctly]

...Limburger King for years.

[chuckles] We love cheese.

Enough about me. I want to know about you.

Tell me what makes you tick.

- Tick? - Yeah. Tick.

What makes you do the things you do, Kevin?

Better yet, what makes you do the things you don't want to do?

That would be our mom.

I always try to do the right thing.

Is that what you try to do? The right thing?

- I definitely try. - Cryptic, I get it.

Let's all go see the stinky cheese unveiling and, and whatever this is.

[both] Sure.

It's a no-brainer. She's totally evil.

It's a no-brainer. He's totally flirting.

I knew it!

Well, Mayor, it appears the time has come to end the insipid

tongue-killing banter,

and reveal the largest wheel of expensive stinky cheese in the world!

Absolutely, Veronica! Drumroll, please.

[all exclaiming]

Well, that concludes our-- [grunts]

- [over mic] Listen up! - [microphone feedback]

Oh, boy! Not again.

Listen up, citizens.

There's a new villainous duo in town.

A villainous duo that you will fear and respect.

Oh, and on a side note, somebody should fire that girl, Lauren,

who works in Irony Outfitters.

Gotta go to the bathroom.

Ha! I knew it.

She's gonna come right back as Destructress and join them.

Huh. Maybe you are right. Maybe she is up to no good.

Ah. Just like that hard-boiled egg that I ate.

Oh! Hello, Destructress.

I'd like you to meet my partner in crime,

Foot Kicker. Say hi.

Guess what time it is.

- It's time for you to-- - Go to jail.

All three of you.

What?

[both] It's fist-foot time!

[all grunting]

♪It's fist-foot time ♪

♪ And I'm telling you I'm about to lose control ♪

♪ About to lose my mind ♪

♪ We, the undersigned ♪

♪ Commit disorganized crimes ♪

♪ By turning sofas upside down ♪

♪ And stealing this lime ♪

♪ Our eternal goal ♪

♪ Is just not that well-defined ♪

♪ But for now we're both content ♪

♪ Just terrorizing this mime ♪

♪ It may look random but it's by design ♪

♪ It's fist-foot time ♪

♪ There's no need to hold your applause ♪

♪ It's fist-foot time ♪

♪ You might be wondering what that was ♪

♪ It's fist-foot time ♪

♪ But you'll have to go through our agent 'cause ♪

♪ If you want further comment we're disinclined ♪

♪ It's fist-foot time ♪

Huh?

Kevin!

[screams]

What the...

I knew Lauren would turn out to be good.

[both groaning]

You saved my life and I thought you were evil.

Don't judge a book by its very attractive cover.

[both grunting]

You haven't seen he last of us.

Yeah. I think we have.

Hamster, take them to jail. I'll clean up the mess.

Nothing is more terrifying than us.

[evil laughter]

Dude, it's basically air.

Well, at least he's making friends.

See? No evil scheme.

Yeah, I guess even supervillains can change it.

Sorry it took me so long.

There was a long line.

Thanks for lunch, you guys.

It was really nice getting to know you, Kevin.

It was, um, really nice getting to know you, too.

Is it me or did you guys just have a little moment?

I think we just had a little moment.

So we're back to step one of our three-step plan.

We've got to make some changes.

Starting with that lame superhero outfit you were wearing.

Ugh! I always let salespeople talk me into things.

Wait. You got your power from that green ray, right?

Yeah!

Did you try doing the spinning thing that makes your costume appear?

You mean like this?

It worked!

I can fly! [grunts]

I can't fly.

But you look great and that's all that matters.

- High five! - High five!

[thuds]

[groaning] This is a lot more painful than it looks.

[♪ theme music playing]

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0