Original subtitles

And that's how French toast was invented.

Wow, what a violent history for a breakfast food.

So, what's everyone doing today?

I'm going to catch up on my Saturday morning cartoons.

And I need to take the van into the shop yet again.

[sighs] It's really been acting up lately.

Hmm. I wonder why.

[crashing]

Seriously?

Yeah, it's a real mystery.

Maybe it's time for me to get a new car.

Sorry, Kev. We can't afford to get you a new car.

We can if we go to this place.

They're having a huge sale. Today only.

Need a new car?

Come on down to Slickman's Car and Auto Mall

for our 11th Saturday of The Year sale!

A date so arbitrary we had to put a sale on it!

Please! And I'm just getting really sick of being called "the minivan kid".

But you love your van, Kevin.

And more importantly, I love your van.

It's time, Gretel.

All good things must come to an end.

Well, I am a sucker for a well-designed flyer.

All right, let's check it out.

Yes!

Veronica Hill reporting from downtown,

where a half-man, half-car person is stealing steering wheels,

car doors and other automotive sundries.

Will nobody put the brakes on this vehicular villain?

In other news, I need a ride back to the studio.

We've got to stop this guy

before there isn't a working car left in the city.

Can't the regular police handle this?

What do I pay taxes for?

- You don't. - Oh, yeah.

So how exactly does a trade-in work?

Well, our van is worth something,

your new car is worth something more,

and you make up the difference in cost with the trade-in.

And I think you're mature enough to handle...

[screams] This one! This one! This one! This one!

This car would be life changing.

[♪ upbeat music playing]

[crowd clamoring]

[camera shutters clicking]

Sorry to horn in

- on your fantasy sequence, Kev... - Huh?

But you're gonna have to be quite the negotiator

to get this car for your van.

Hey, I know that sound.

It's an idealistic son and a practical dad.

[chuckles] My favorite kind of customers.

Sam Slickman, automotive purveyor extraordinaire!

So, we ready to talk business or what?

Take it away, son.

All right, Kevin.

It's time for the buyer to become the seller.

Buyer, seller, buyer, seller...

Heya, Mr. Slickman. Kevin Grant-Gomez.

And I'd be happy to take this old lemon off your hands

in exchange for this beauty!

[rat squeaking]

Now she is a beauty.

Really? I was talking about the rat.

You know, if we had a robust public transportation system,

this really wouldn't be an issue.

[car lock chirping]

- Let's just find this guy. - So he's half-man and half...

- Yep, that's gotta be him. - Stop right there.

- Hamster and Gretel! - [Hamster] Ugh! Rough look.

I take it tank tops are a challenge for you, Mr...

The name's Carl. And the exclamation point?

It adds a sense of intimidation, you know.

- [growls] - Yeah, okay, great.

Can you please just stop wrecking people's cars now?

Oh, I'm just getting started, dollface.

Here we go. [laughs]

See you later, losers!

[laughs maniacally]

[Hamster exclaims in disgust]

I'm not looking forward to this guy's backstory.

Wow, this thing's great.

You know, back in my day,

they just had a really limber guy doing this.

Oh, you mean Limber Len?

He's still in the game.

Whoo! I haven't sat down in 26 years.

Now, I know what you're thinking.

A whole seven-seater van for this puny little sports car?

This deal is just too good.

Oh, you're killing it, Kev.

Hey, Dad, why don't you take that enthusiasm

and channel it into those car air fresheners over there?

Ooh, I am a sucker for overpowering artificial smells!

Now, where was I? Uh...

You were trying to sell me on your rundown van.

Rundown is just another way to say "well loved."

And she's real sturdy.

Detachable mirror.

Pretty cool, huh?

Does this rust bucket even run?

Does she ever! Hop on in and I'll show you.

I'll humor you, kid.

Limber Len, watch the lot!

You got it, Mr. Slickman!

[tires screeching]

[laughing maniacally]

[cackles]

Finally. Give it up, Carl.

You've got nowhere to go.

You'll never stop me.

I'm this close to becoming

the savviest half-guy, half-classic car ever.

I'll finally make my dad proud.

All right. What's your dad got to do with this?

Shut up. I'll tell you.

Yep. And here comes the back story.

[Carl] All my life, my dad cared more about classic cars than he did about me.

Whether I was good...

or bad.

He never paid attention to me.

So I did the only thing I could do.

Share your feelings with him in a frank discussion and find common ground?

No! Fuse myself with the car.

Obviously!

So I bought a sketchy machine online

that merges things with other things...

and turned myself into a half-man, half-car!

And now all I need are a few more pieces to be the perfect son.

I mean car... Argh! I mean "car-son".

- Oh! And by the way... - There's more?

All those stolen car parts

mean I can turn into any vehicle I want.

Like this!

Ah, there we are.

[engine revving]

Yeah, I think we're gonna need some backup.

I've got my cream colored leather seats,

my walnut steering wheel, my built-in car phone, circa 1983.

All I need now is the perfect vintage antenna.

And this vintage antenna is a classy accessory

that reminds us of a simpler time.

I don't know. This whole car seems outdated.

Outdated? Do you see that other car dealership?

The one that we're about to pass?

Yeah. He's my biggest competitor.

Well, that car dealer is mighty interested in this outdated minivan.

No. Not Cam Conman.

Yeah, that's right.

Cam is hooked, and all it takes is one call,

and this van is his.

Well, I should probably discuss this with my wife.

Make it snappy. This baby is one hot ticket item.

[cell phone ringing]

Excuse me. I just need a minute.

Kevin, I need your help.

I'm downtown with Hamster chasing a half-man, half-car villain,

and we've lost sight of him.

Uh, okay. What does he look like?

Like a pretty bird.

- Really? - No! Like a half-man, half-car!

- [engine revving] - Ooh! A vintage antenna!

And exactly the kind I've been looking for!

Gimme, gimme, gimme!

Uh, yeah, I definitely see him!

Hey Sam, slight change of plans.

We've gotta speed it up here.

But now you'll be able to see what this baby is really capable of!

That antenna is mine!

[screaming]

[♪ rock music playing]

♪ A car is a car is a car in a chase ♪

♪ It doesn't matter the form It only matters the pace ♪

♪ So you keep that hammer down This ain't a charity case ♪

♪ Because a car is a car is a car in a chase ♪

♪ He's not letting up ♪

♪ Looks like he's sticking to his agenda ♪

♪ He's not gonna stop until he gets your old school antenna ♪

♪ This is not the test drive you wanted when you started ♪

♪ But the rule book has now been fully disregarded ♪

♪ Humanoid, Motorcycle hot-rod, or truck ♪

♪ Don't know what you're running from but he is running amok ♪

♪ A car is a car is a car in a chase ♪

♪ It doesn't matter the form It only matters the pace ♪

♪ Keep the pedal to the medal or you'll lose your place ♪

♪ Because a car is a car is a car in a chase ♪

♪ Yes, a car is a car is a car in a chase ♪

You're on your own for a bit, Kevin.

[grunts] We might be a while.

[engine revving]

Time to reel that antennae in.

Gotcha!

Think, Kevin, think! I need an idea.

[car honking]

[both] Whoa!

Come on!

Wait! That's it. I'm protected inside my van,

but this guy's pretty much fully exposed.

I think I know just what to do.

What is happening?

Okay, Dave, we're torn.

Is it "wish upon a waterfall"...

Mmm or "midnight musk"?

[sniffs] Ah! Curse you, bells and whistles.

Where's Kevin going?

Just a little bit further.

You're not getting away from me.

That's what I'm hoping.

Car wash?

No! No!

No, no! Oh, no, oh, no!

[Carl screaming]

Please put the brushes away.

Sam the man!

Did I forget to mention that the glove compartment

is big enough for a movie theater sized bag of popcorn?

You know, kid, this van really is full of surprises.

It sure is.

This baby's got me out of some road jams.

And frankly, I'm impressed we made it through that car chase unscathed.

Yeah. You know, come to think of it,

this car has always been there for me and my family.

She might be rough around the edges,

but I wouldn't trade her for anything in the whole world.

You know, kid, from one salesman to another, you got me.

I'm going to give you a good trade-in.

No, I'm serious now. I'm keeping the van.

All right, kid, I guess there's nothing left to say,

except thanks for wasting my time,

and please stay away from my dealership.

[Carl growls]

I'm gonna get you for this!

Car guy punch!

- [siren wails] - I just wanted to make my daddy proud!

- Now that is one nice lookin' car! - [gasps]

- Daddy? - Carl?

Wow! Looking good, kid.

Real good.

Really, Pops?

Is what I would say if you had the perfect vintage antenna.

But you don't. Keep trying, though.

I will, Papa. I will.

My left foot! You're driving away without my left foot.

Kevin, so what happened to getting a cool new car?

Cool? Yes.

New? No.

I've decided I'm keeping the van.

Aw, yeah. Wait. Where's Dad?

And October Opulence is [sniffs] going into the "maybe" pile.

Ah!

Oh! They've got smells of the Eastern Hemisphere?

I'm gonna be here all night!

[♪ theme music playing]

♪ Hamster and Gretel ♪

♪ It's Hamster ♪

♪ Hamster and Gretel ♪

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0