Original subtitles

This is Veronica Hill, Action News.

Standing outside our city's beloved zoo,

where a daring late-night robbery

has ruffled some feathers.

With me is zoo director Dr. Katherine Hawthorne.

The thieves stole only our rarest animals.

Ollie the ostrich, Ignazio the ibex,

Antonio the anteater.

Mama's coming to find you, my babies. [sobbing]

Thank you, Dr. Hawthorne.

Police are saying this theft is the work of The Syndicate,

a shadowy crime organization.

But one thing's for certain,

the police can't bear to watch

this kind of criminal activity.

They're on the case and won't be lion around.

Owl keep you informed of any developments.

Zebra.

This Syndicate is impossible to catch.

We've been after them for weeks

and don't have a single lead.

How about we stake out all the places that have rare animals?

- [Kevin] Hm. - I don't know.

- I think we can do better. - I have a suggestion.

How about you not shoot down every idea of mine?

- [Kevin] Hm. - I don't know.

I think we can do better.

Why don't you guys take my ideas seriously?

Hamster, you're more of the strong, silent type.

Which is exactly what we need right now.

Word on the street is that The Syndicate is looking

for some new tough guys down at the docks.

That's perfect.

Hamster, you can go undercover,

and you can help us bring down The Syndicate.

What about my stakeout idea?

Who wants Hamster to go undercover?

Fine. Can I at least wear a mustache?

- [Kevin] Hm. - I don't know.

I think we can do better.

I knew I should've had a mustache.

Now, remember, just say things a tough guy would say.

Hey, fellas.

Guess what, I had cereal this morning without milk.

- [men gasping] - Hey!

I'm the cereal-without-milk guy in this gang.

Fight, fight, fight!

I was stacking those!

- [horn hoking] - [Hamster] Hm?

- The Syndicate. - They're scary.

My mommy told me to stay away from them.

Get in. The boss wants to see you.

And you don't want to keep the boss waiting.

Because he's got a chiropractor appointment.

And you don't want to prolong his back pain.

Because he gets very grumpy.

Now we wait.

You got any other cop movie cliches you wanna say?

I'm taking you off the case!

[bleats]

Mr. Large, this is the troublemaker I was telling you about.

So you think you're a tough guy, huh?

I don't think I'm a tough guy, I know I'm a tough guy.

You've got a lot of nerve talking to me like that, and I love that!

- [Hamster] Nice operation you've got here. - [Mr. Large] Thanks.

Well, we've got to round up a few more animals by the end of the week.

That's when the boss is coming in to make the sale.

Aren't you the boss of The Syndicate?

Your name is Mr. Large.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. You're asking a lot of questions, Mr...

Johnny. Johnny "The Hamster."

Why do they call you The Hamster?

I guess it's because I look like one.

I love it when a nickname makes sense.

- [man screaming] - [bear growling]

Mr. Large, the animals are acting up.

We can't get them in their cages.

I got an idea, but...

Uh, never mind. You probably wouldn't like it.

No. Go on.

Well, a lot of animals are calmed down

when they hear Eastern European folk music.

Luckily, I brought my balalaika.

[♪ playing melancholic music on balalaika]

All right, Johnny, I'll take a chance on you.

But I gotta tell you, the thing I hate the most is a rat.

You're not a rat, are you, Johnny?

I'm pretty sure we agreed I look like a hamster.

[laughing]

I love it when someone answers

an ominous question with a joke. [chuckles]

I think you're gonna fit right in, Johnny.

♪ When I step in Through the door ♪

♪ Everybody better Fall in line ♪

♪ I don't care What you came here for ♪

♪ But it was all By my design ♪

♪ Maybe you think You've got it down ♪

♪ But you're about To learn your lesson ♪

♪ If you think That you've got confidence ♪

♪ You better check out My expression ♪

♪ I got my game face on ♪

♪ That means everything's Going bad for you ♪

♪ That means everything's Gonna go, gonna go ♪

♪ Bad for you ♪

♪ I got my game face on ♪

♪ And when you see that You better step aside ♪

♪ And let me pass on through ♪

♪ Better let him Pass on through ♪

♪ When I got my game face ♪

I'm getting worried about Hamster.

It's been days, and he hasn't even called us.

I know. Sometimes I start to worry that he-

Might not be up to the task?

Might be doing a bad job because he has bad ideas?

What? No. None of those things.

Then why don't you have any faith in me?

We do!

We just got worried when we didn't hear from you.

You know who does trust me? The boys.

And Mr. Large thinks I have good ideas.

You remember that Mr. Large is the bad guy, right?

Don't worry. You made it very clear

that I was just the muscle in our operation,

and I'll be the muscle.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I gotta get back.

Do you know if they validate here?

You don't have a car.

Great. I guess that's my fault, too.

Whatever.

Oh, good, Johnny, you're back.

All right, people, listen up.

Our last shipment comes in at 8:00,

and then we're making the sale.

Now, let's go sell some endangered animals.

[men cheering]

Wait, Johnny, I want to talk to you.

I, uh, just wanted to say that you're like the son I never had.

I mean, I do have an actual son, but he's, he's terrible.

In fact, I had a little something made for the two of us.

[Hamster gasps]

Wow. I don't know what to say.

I'm really touched.

All right. Well, uh, enjoy it.

- Hello. - They're shipping out the animals at 8:00.

Now's our chance.

I knew you'd come through, Hamster.

I can't wait to see the looks on those crooks' faces

when they find out you totally betrayed them.

I mean, they're gonna feel so bad

that someone they really trusted

was actually working against them.

- Uh, yeah, right. I gotta go. - [line disconnects]

- Um, Mr. Large? - Hey, Johnny, what's wrong?

There's something I have to tell you.

Okay. They just brought in the last shipment of animals.

Well, then it's time to put those animal nappers out of business.

And put them in some striped pajamas.

Where are you getting these?

Big Book of Police Movie Cliches.

[sighs] Just go, Gretel.

Your days of trapping helpless animals are over, Large.

I'm not sure about that, Gretel, the superhero.

We've been expecting you.

What? How did you know I was coming?

A good friend gave us a tip.

You turned on me? Why would you do that?

Very good. But I'll take things from here.

Johnny, I'd like you to meet the real head of The Syndicate.

[gasps] Dr. Hawthorne.

You've been stealing your own animals? But why?

I inherited that lousy zoo from my parents,

but I hate animals.

Then I realized I could steal those smelly creatures

and sell them for a fortune to eccentric villains as pets.

And with you out of the way, Gretel, no one can stop us.

Unless they were recording your confession.

[Dr. Hawthorne on recorder] Then sell them for a fortune.

Johnny "The Hamster," you're Hamster "The Hamster"?

And I bought us matching sweaters!

I knew you'd never betray me, Hamster. Let's get 'em.

I think you're forgetting something.

You're trapped in a force field.

I think you're forgetting something.

I know where the force-field controls are.

Very clever.

Except we knew you were an impostor from day one.

- [Hamster] Hm. - You were a little too perfect, too loyal.

And your skydiving technique just a little too graceful.

Curse my natural athleticism.

We knew you'd double-cross us.

That's why we installed this fake force field where we're standing

and a real force field where you're standing.

- [Gretel gasps] - Well, I knew you'd know

that I'd double-cross you.

That's why when Mr. Large called the force-field man,

I called my own fake force-field man,

who replaced the real force field that you installed

with this fake force field that we installed.

Well, I did not know that.

Get them!

[lasers firing]

- We're outnumbered! - Wait, I have an idea.

Folk music may calm animals down...

but rock music will do the opposite.

[♪ playing electric rock music]

[growling]

[crowing]

[Mr. Large whimpering]

[man shrieking]

[man grunts]

[trumpeting]

This is why I hate animals.

This doesn't hurt as much as Johnny's betrayal,

but I should probably go to the hospital.

Mr. Large, I just wanted you to know

I appreciate how nice you were to me.

Well, I meant every word.

Say, maybe we could write to each other while I'm in jail.

Yeah, I'm not really the pen pal type.

But good luck with that.

Fair enough. I'm more of an emojis guy anyway.

Prayer hands, peace sign, upside down smiley face, Johnny.

Hamster, I'm really sorry we didn't trust you more.

But why didn't you just tell us about your plan?

I knew the only way to prove my loyalty to Mr. Large

was to pretend to be disloyal to you.

- Also I knew you'd vote down my idea. - Ouch.

Well, we were wrong. It was a great idea.

And next time, we'll all take you more seriously.

- Thanks, Kevin. - But if you ever pull another stunt

like that again, I'll have your badge, rookie.

Wait, wait. What about this?

"Break rank again, and you'll be on desk duty for the rest of your career."

Oh, give me that.

[Kevin sighs] What a shame.

That book was one day away from retirement.

[♪ theme music playing]

♪ Hamster and Gretel ♪

♪ It's Hamster ♪

♪ Hamster and Gretel ♪

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