All language subtitles for Gunsmoke.S16E14.Sergeant Holly.720p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-DarkSaber_track3_[eng]

[theme music]

NARRATOR: "Gunsmoke," starring
James Arness as Matt Dillon.

[SINGING] And Mrs. Pritchwood
sang a ditty from her dear old

ditty bag, and every
time she starts to sing,

me jowls begin to sag.

He, he.

All right, on your feet.

Hm, stand easy.

Well now, good
thing I didn't catch

you boys playing for real
money, seeing's you're on duty.

I'd have had to lock you
all up in the stockade

for impersonating poker players.

He, he.

Oh yeah, I got here
special order number 131.

And what it orders
specially is for us

to go out and meet a train
a few miles west of here.

Hey, is that the
payroll train, for sure?

Well, I ain't supposed
to tell you no more,

but I wouldn't be surprised
you get paid on Monday morning.

[chuckling]

Oh, I just come from the uh,
telegraph office and a train

running about three hours
late, so we'll be leaving

here along about midnight.

Well does that mean we got to
stay in here the whole time?

It does, Steckey?

Military's security.

Why, folks see you sashaying
around all over town,

they'd get to speculating.

First thing you know, we'd have
every gulch popping road agent

in the lower
left-hand of Kansas a

following us out to
that train trying to rob

us of our hard-won wages.

Hmph.

Now you just stay put
and quiet, and I'll

keep my ear to the ground
up to the Long Branch.

He he.

Keep his ear to the
ground while he's got

his belly up against the bar.

How'd you like to
see him do that?

[laughter]

[SINGING] We had our choice of
going to the army or to jail,

so we puckered up our courage
and bravely went away.

But we curse the day we
marched way with that--

That's him-- if you can't see
him, you can always hear him.

He is one big gringo.

Now these six bottles
are for his troops,

and this one is
for Sergeant Holly.

Six bottles for six troopers?

That's because them
troopers is Sergeant

Emmett Holly's
troopers, and they're

not his troopers for nothing.

Now, there's enough laudanum in
those bottles to knock them out

and their horses.

now get going.

EMMET: [SINGING] --
fight the Indians there,

we were nearly snatched
bald headed 'fore they--

Well howdy, Tom.

Hey, Festus.

Where's Marshal Big Fist?

If you're talking about Matthew
Dillon, he ain't in town.

He's been over in
Topeka for over a week.

Oh.

But if you're anti-pastin'
any kind of trouble,

now, you can call on them
horse army fellows you

got hid in the livery stable.

No trouble at all, Festus,
especially with Big Fist

up in Topeka.

Maybe now I can get
me a few minutes alone

there with Miss Kitty.

She's always hiding
under Dillon's

jawbone like a chickadee under
a toadstool, but tonight--

Tonight she ain't working.

She's over yonder at
the church social.

This here's ladies night.

Now wouldn't that frost you
non-commissioned follicles?

I finally get a chance
to get next to her

and she's got to
go get religion.

Now you listen
here to me-- you go

over yonder trying
to busting in and I'm

gonna have to take you in hand.

Now don't you
worry none, I ain't

going to go around
chasing after her-- you

ain't gonna have to fill
your official capacity

on my account.

Fill what?

Your official capacity.

Figure mine at
about four quarts,

give or take a couple
of fingers, he he.

Ha ha.

Yeah, Sam?

SAM: Sarge?

Corn whiskey
without the kernels.

Ha ha, ha!

Hey, Jeeter, Willis
P., U.S. 4th Cavalry,

dishonestly discharged.

Good to see you again.

Sarge.

Huh, yeah, I'll bet.

Gentlemen, I'm opening
a poker game over here

at this table for
those of you who've

got more money than brains.

Get boots and saddles
to the center table, ho!

Ha ha.

Gather round at
your leisure now.

Thank you, Sam, ah.

Mm, oh yes, that does
settle the dust and sand.

Now, I want all of
you holders here

to understand if this is
straight stud horse poker,

otherwise, known
as Holly wins, me

being the only
stud horse soldier

in this gaggle of game cocks.

Now we'll just riffle
those cards in two

and give it a nice, deep cut.

Uh-huh, well let's see
what we got down here,

all right, there we go.

[music playing]

[theme music]

There we are, seven
for the whisky drummer

and for your humble
servant, ha, ha, ha.

An ace, well now, as ye sow,
so shall ye reap, gentlemen.

The offering will be $5.

[humming]

King, yes.

Oh, another seven for the
whisky drummer, and now

those jacks and seven
have got to beat my aces

unless, of course, this
final card is-- wouldn't

that frost your eyeballs?

All the artillery
hanging out there

in front of the spectators?

Did you catch that four face--

Uh, Boy, unless you have
got money in the pot,

never put hand to the board.

You want in, Mister?

The ante's a dollar.

Yeah, I don't mind if I do.

Uh-huh.

No hard feelings
on my [inaudible]

for you testifying against
me at the court marshal.

No, I'll admit it, I ran.

I'm grateful to you
for drumming me out.

You probably saved
my life, Sarge.

Oh?

How do you mean?

WILLIS: Well, I kept
track of the outfit,

kind of made me feel
like part of it.

I heard you fought Quanah
Parker at Canon Blanco right

after my court martial.

And the way I heard it, when
those Comanches charged,

well, if I hadn't gone--

You'd have probably
died in a cloud of dust.

Hey, Sal, hup.

Let me pour you a drink, Sarge.

Hey, you're leaning on my
tent a little hard, Boy.

Why should I drink
with the likes of you?

Why, because you're
one of my heroes.

[laughs]

Well now that's a lie,
and I'll sure drink to it.

Pour away.

Orally Pour away, my boy.

There we are, to slower
Indians and faster carbines.

Oop, oh.

Whoa ho, Jeeter-- Jeeter,
I'm gonna tell you one thing,

if you age half as
bad as your whiskey,

you got about one month to live.

Whew, let's see what
the offering is here.

[knocking]

[speaking spanish]

Hey, get out of here,
the place is closed.

[speaking spanish]

Uh, I bring whiskey for you,
compliments of Sergeant Holly.

[enthusiastic murmuring]

SOLDIER: Hey, how about that?

You know the Sarge, [inaudible].

[inaudible].

[speaking spanish]

[murmuring]

Oh, yes.

You know something, Jeeter?

I ought never to have left
the U.S. Fourth Cavalry.

How'd it happen?

Oh, about the time
I reupped, I got

myself all gee-flummoxed
over this little gal

named Kitty Russell.

She runs this here place, yeah.

Aw, I'll tell you, whatever boot
they poured that out's still

got somebody's foot in it.

I'll tell you one
thing, though--

first thing Monday morning I'm--
I'm gonna tell Miss Russell

that either she can
trundle her trough

off to Texas with me
or she going to have

to get along without me.

Hm.

Oh, jungle and
[inaudible] Sam, what

in the carboxylated hell fire
and brimstone is that potion?

Why, that tastes like the
essence of East Missouri stink.

I'm telling you, Sam,
somebody soured the mash.

There've been no complaints
I've heard of, Sergeant.

Yeah, well you
just heard one now.

Heh.

Oh.

Oh, ten after the hour,
oh, got-- got to ride.

Boots and saddles, ho!

Hup, haw.

-Uh-oh.
-Yeah.

You know, I just might
have misjudged you, Jeeter.

I mean, your feeling the
loyalty to the outfit

and everything just proves
you can't be all bad.

[laughs]

I hate to say it, but
how's about if I rode

out with you on that detail?

Hey, don't you presume
on my good nature, Boy.

Why, you think I'd let you
ride the regimental colors?

You acted dishonorably and
you are and were dishonored,

and by the book and
by my own cyclometer,

I wouldn't let you ride
on the limber of the Fort

Dodge latrine wagon.

Help--

[laughter]

EMMETT: Hey, [inaudible],
left wheel, ho!

Hey Jeeter, that's my horse--
there, we going by my horse.

Carlos, bring his horse.

[grunting]

Have you lost what
little mind you had left?

Will you stop [inaudible]
and a [inaudible] me,

and you tell that Aztec to
stand away from my [inaudible].

WILLIS: I'm just trying to
keep you out of trouble.

The day I need help
from the likes of you--

get away from my hor--

[grunting]

Here's the orders.

Si.

I got us three uniforms.

We need his coat
for his stripes.

[grunting]

[hoofbeats]

[grunting]

Whew.

Steckey?

Steckey, Steckey,
are you in there?

Hang on, that's [inaudible]
Corporal Tuttle there.

Steckey?

Hey, Corporal Tuttle?

Corporal Tuttle, what
are you doing here?

Don't come any
closer, Holly, I don't

want to have to shoot you.

Ha!

What is the matter with
you, Tuttle, are you drunk?

[click]

Don't come no closer, I'll
shoot, and pleased to do it

after what you done.

And what was that?

I'll put you under
military arrest.

Robbing the payroll,
taking the wages out

of the pockets of your own men?

Payroll was robbed?

Huh, what time is it?

Where's that Corporal Steckey?

Hey, Steckey!

Here, you'll hurt
yourself with this thing.

Who said I done the robbery?

Well, the train messenger,
the one you shot.

I didn't shoot nobody
and I didn't rob nobody.

Well, the train
messenger said it

was you, in uniform
with official orders

from Fort Dodge.

Orders?

Oh, Jeeter, why that
dirty little skunk,

that's what he was after--
liked to poisoned me dead.

Lieutenant Mapes's got a
note out for your arrest

for robbery and assault.
You trying to tell me

somebody else did it?

That's right, and
if I had the time,

I would kick your candle
from here to the orderly room

for even thinking such a thing.

And that shave tail Mapes
right along with you.

Steckey!

Over here, over here.

Hey, what's that?

Oh.

Jalup?

Jalup?

Where'd you get that?

Well, you know,
uh, a Mexican man.

Jeeter's Aztec.

Hey Tuttle, you hear that?

You wait till
Lieutenant Mapes hears

about you resisting arrest.

Come on.

Where's the rest of them?

[inaudible]

Whoa, [inaudible], whoa.

Hey.

Sergeant Holly.

Hey Doc, just the
man I want to see.

Listen, I got some
sick troopers in here.

Hey, take-- take a whiff
of that stuff there.

Smells kind of funny.

Why, it's got laudanum in it.

Laudanum?

What?

That runkle-eyed snipe of a
Jeeter Jaluped the lot of us,

robbed the payroll,
stole my orders.

Here, take a look
at that critter.

[coughs]

Here.

I got five more in
there just like him.

I sure appreciate you--
you'd take care of them.

All right, you come
on in here, too,

and I'll have a
look at your head.

Oh, don't worry, there ain't
nobody can hurt this head.

[knocking]

Who is it?

EMMETT: It's First Sergeant
Emmett Holly, ma'am.

Oh, I wish you'd let me in,
I've got a personal calamity.

It's a what?

EMMETT: It's a calamity.

Now that's the gospel truth.

Oh, evening, ma'am, ha, ha.

Oh.

Oh, now listen, I been
drinking, but I ain't drunk.

Is that the calamity?

Oh no, no.

See, I been accused of
robbing the Fort Dodge

payroll, that's what it is.

Come on in, Sergeant.

Hm.

And get-- get that
horse out of here.

Well no, it'd be
a dead giveaway

if I was to leave him outside.

Besides, he's housebroken.

Here, you just stand
easy there, horse.

[chuckling]

Pour yourself a drink
and tell me all about it.

--[chuckling] Oh, that's
real smoky there.

Mm.

[humming] Now I
do not deny that I

was derelict in my duty
to stay sober and alert,

let them try me on that, yeah.

Let them arrest me, lock me
up, take away my severance,

but to accuse me of
turning on my own,

that's going beyond beyond.

Uh, would you uh--
w-why the mason jars?

Well, d-did you notice
the reluctant manner

in which that whiskey
left that there bottle?

Glug, glug, bubble, glug--

Well, all you have to do
is just tip it over more.

Wait, look, big, wide,
smooth mouth like that,

you get a good flow.

Mm.

You sure do.

See?

Comes in very handy
on a hot afternoon--

Yeah.

-- when them red Indians
is shooting at you,

well, I mean a man's sippin'
time is severely limited, see?

Now, I can get about a pint
of that down there and working

before your average
red Indian [coughs]

can thread up another
arrow. [chuckling] Yes,

it's very useful.

You know, I don't know
why the Army has lost

all that kind of faith in me.

Why don't you let Matt
Dillon bring Jeeter in?

Yeah, well I know where
he is-- hm, Blister Canyon.

Leastwise I remember he used to
have a place up there somehow.

Mm, well I know what
that is, it's about uh,

40 miles south of there.

I still think you should
let Matt bring him in.

No, see, he's not here and
Jeeter's already halfway there,

so I can't take the chance.

You know how Big Fist is,
I mean, if it ain't legal,

hit it.

Hm, oh, now you know
better than that.

How you fixed for cash?

When Jeeter took my jacket,
he got all my money.

I mean, you got about a hundred
dollars you could let me have

till I get back?

I mean, I'm gonna need
some grub and such like.

You know, I'm not really
sure I should be doing this.

--[chuckling] Here, Private
Horse, ladies first.

Ah, oh me.

Hey.

You know, I'm gonna have
to tell Matt about this.

Oh really?

Why's that?

I mean, I tell you
something, he ain't-- he

ain't gonna like it at all.

Why isn't he going to like it?

Well, I mean, you know, an
eligible bachelor like me?

Ha, you know Big
Fist, he'd just have

to throw a-a jealous fit, huh?

[chuckling] Hey, come
on, Private Horse.

Hiyah!

Sergeant Holly riding out?

He should have let me have
a look at his head first.

I think you should
have a look at my head,

Doc-- I let him have the
money so he could ride out.

I ain't never heard
such a twine bag

of pure-old-dee twaddle
in all my born days.

Is this--
-Sound like you got trouble.

I have, Miss Kitty.

What's the matter?

Oh, it's that knot--headed
lieutenant of them

horse people out yonder.

He's got one of
them corporals that

got hisself all
limber-legged, you know,

all limber-legged on that hooch
down to the livery-- he's got

him a saying that
he seen Sergeant

Holly a leading his horse in
the Long Branch last night.

Now I;ll tell you something,
he better start to making some

sense, or I'm gonna run
him and that whole batch

of troopers out of
Dodge on the short

end of a sawed-off shotgun.

Now, uh, I-I
wouldn't do anything--

I know you wouldn't allow
no horse-bringing in the Long

Branch, Miss Kitty,
but he's a saying

that you was a hiding Sergeant
Holly here on account of he's

a shoot on sight
deserter from the Army.

Now wait a minute-- what
do you mean, shoot on sight?

Well that's what they do
to them there deserters,

Miss Kitty.

They'll put a reward
on him and there'll

be bounty hunters after him.

Why, he ain't gonna have no
more chance than a grasshopper

in the hen house.

I'll guarantee you, he ain't.

Oh, Sam.

I know, Miss Kitty, Sergeant
Holly going on like that-- it's

just hard to believe.

It's real hard to believe.

That's why I let
him in last night

and loaned him some money.

He needed money?

He didn't rob the train, Sam,
a man by the name of Jeeter

did it.

You hitch up my buggy,
I'm going after him.

Now, Miss Kitty--

I'd never forgive
myself if I didn't.

What I should have
done is I-- well,

I should have tried to talk
him into giving himself up

last night.

Well don't you think
you ought to tell Festus?

No, no, don't tell Festus,
he'll just try and stop me.

But I do want you to tell
Matt when he gets in tonight.

You tell him that I've gone
to a place south of here

called Blister Canyon.

He'll know where it is.

Heh, whoa.

Here now, what in the
Red Nations is that, huh?

Hey, Private Horse, ho!

Private Horse, looks
like what we got here

is a petrified red aborigine
who's pretending he ain't here.

Huh.

Private Horse, you
know something?

I think maybe a little
slosh of distilled spirits

might get a snort out of him.

Hey listen here,
Chief, why don't you

try to be a little neighborly?

I mean, here I am sloshing your
aperture with liquid spirits--

well, I seen that staring,
catalyptic, stony face before.

Chow line, Regular Army O. I
tell you something, Private

Horse, after 20 years in
this brass-bound army,

I can tell you that
this pitiful red wretch

is a former U.S. horse soldier.

[chuckling] He got into
this pathetic condition

here from standing in
long, stupefying lines

that had no rational
origin-- didn't go no place

and produced nothing
but sore feet.

[gunshot]

Hm?

Turn them out, boots
and saddles, ho!

Heh.

[swallowing]

[coughing]

I'm good.

Hm, [chuckling].

Other three bad whiteys, you
catch them, you kick him elbow.

Which way'd they go?

That way, sun there.

Here.

Good bad water
whiskey burn tooth.

More?

Very doubtful.

What did those three do to you?

Kicking me in the elbow.

Oh.

Were you in the army?

Corporal Scout, Third Calvary.

Well, ha ha.

Me ride, ride, me
see, me point finger.

When'd you leave?

When me fall off
horse, all shoot out.

Well what are you doing
here, just sitting?

Ain't no riding horse.

[laughs] Well, that's for sure.

Listen, Chief, I'd
give you a ride,

but I just got this
one horse here.

You just going to stay here?

All day, all night.
Who knows?

Now listen, anybody comes by
here asking which way I went,

uh, oh, [chuckling] you
tell them that way, huh?

Heh, heh, yeah.

Hep, all right, Private
Horse, hey, let's go, hiyah.

[non-english singing]

Jeeter.

Those high rocks out of
town-- be there at noon sharp.

He's out of range.

Well, you know like
they say, Private Horse,

we'll get the two in
the bush. [chuckling].

You stand easy there, now.

All right fellows, get
down, arms straight out.

[grunts]

Well, you fellows
like it down there?

CHICO: Uh, no Senor.

Uh, I expect not.

Well, let's go in the
shack, get acquainted,

maybe stretch out, huh?

[groaning]

Here, $4,140 even--
and you boys got

paid $2,500 apiece by
Jeeter just an hour ago?

Por favor, we will tell
you what you want to no.

Cut me down before
my head blows up.

I don't understand how you
boys cold spend $60 between here

and the front yard.

I-I-- we swear, we
don't know where he is,

he's with some girl some place.

Unless, of course, Jeeter
gave you a short count.

No, you're getting
the truth, Sarge.

Tomorrow he's meeting
us near Oblivion.

Where are these
so-called "high rocks?"

It-it starts the
north trail entering

Oblivion-- what's left of it.

Well, he's got a fresh
horse and I ain't, so I'll

just wait for him at Oblivion.

Well, a ha, mm,
I'll see you boys.

You boys behave yourselves
now, you hear me?

Please, you would
not believe the pain.

What?

Oh, don't you know
people pay good money

to get hung up like that?

It does wonders for
the hydraulic system.

Yeah, I'll tell the
first marshal I run

into about your predicament.

Say, you can't leave
us hanging like this.

Suppose that marshal don't
find us-- what if snakes do?

Oh, I wouldn't worry none
about them snakes, no.

Watch out for them bobcats,
though, [chuckling].

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Hello.

You there, hello?

You're not dead, are you?

[grunts]

Ain't no dead, Squaw.

Well what are you
sitting there for?

Hm, break wagon come, make
'em wheels, do walking.

Well I'll give you a lift,
I'm-- I'm going south.

Big horse soldier,
whiskey man, him go there.

What you think?

I think you're lying.

Sergeant Holly's headed south.

Squaw right.

Little Bugle bad liar.

Were there any
men ahead of him?

Three bad whiteys.

Ready go now, catch
him whiskey man.

[non-english speech]

[screaming]

WILSON: Help us!

Anybody out there?

Help us.

[groaning]

Oh, Lady, you got a knife?

No.

Who are you?

Oh, something to cut me down?

Is your name Jeeter?

No, I never heard of him.

My name is Wilson, Now
will you go get a knife?

Are these the men
you saw on the trail?

Two of them-- bad whities--
kicking me in elbow.

Sergeant Holly's
been here-- look.

Whiskey for soldier
man-- him hung 'em up.

I skin 'em-- bad whiteys.

No, no.

Now there's a U.S.
Marshal on his way here

and he'll take them to jail.

I just want you to watch
them until he gets here.

[growls]

Lady, don't leave us
here with this injun.

Now come on, you got a wagon,
I heard it when you pulled up.

Now take us down to
Oblivion with you.

Is that where
Sergeant Holly is?

Yes.

Lady, that injun will kill us.

Oh, don't be silly.

Cut 'em down.

[growls]

Go on, go, come
on, cut them down.

[groaning]

WILSON: No, no, my head!

[screaming]

[thump]

WILSON: No, don't.

[thump]

Good boy.

Ah.

All right horse,
blow out you bag.

Ah.

[grunting]

Hey, where's the
bartender so's a man

can get a drink around here?

Shut up, can't you
see they're wrestling?

Bring that soldier boy here.

[grunting]

[chuckling]

Hm?

You beat me, you got a drink.

Well I'd just
liefer pay for it,

my-my drinking elbow's
kind of all flogged up.

Take hold, Soldier Boy.

And while we are
wrestling, we can

talk about the train robbery.

Train robbery?

That kind of news
travels fast, Soldier Boy.

We been sort of waiting for you.

Well, I don't know nothing
in the world whatsoever

about no train robbery.

[grunting]

[laughter]

[grunting]

Let me have him.

[grunting]

Bring it here--
every last dollar.

My name is Pinero, and I am
going to hand you your arm.

You are 24,000
short, Soldier Boy.

I want to know why.

Well, you know, it's kind of
expensive traveling these days.

I mean, room rents
is up and all that.

You know something?

You are a dead man.

[grunting]

You mean win or lose?

You're never getting
up out of that chair.

You are going to
die looking at me.

Well, I got to hand
it to you, Pinero,

even if is my last handful,
you-- you sure got character.

How you figure?

Well, I mean any man that
would kill another man just

on principle, I mean,
knowing in advance

he's going to give up thousands
of dollars-- in this case,

about $24,000, heh, may be
a little short on brains,

but just-- you just got to be
just chock full of moral fiber.

The first next one
word you say better

be plain and straight on, or
you are dead on the second.

Where is that money?

-Jeeter.
-What's a Jeeter?

It's not a what, it's a who.

He's my partner.

And he's burying
the other 24,000

and gonna meet me at the
North Rocks tomorrow.

North Rocks, I
know where that is.

[murmuring]

Shut up!

But if he don't see me
waiting for him alone tomorrow,

he's gonna start shooting and
you're gonna have to kill him.

Then that payroll
gonna rest in peace.

You're to worry not, just got
some partners, some protection.

Ah, something I'm gonna
have to explain to Jeeter.

You gotta figure out some way
for me to meet him alone--

[inaudible].

-- else he's going
to get spooked.

Meet him alone?

You expect me to trust you?

You know I ain't gonna
cut out north of here,

army and the law waiting
for us and all such as that.

So it figures that
having your third-- half!

Oh yeah, half, that's
what I meant, ha,

well, fr a place
to hole up, that

seems like pretty fair dealing.

I still don't trust you.

MISS KITTY: Excuse me, is there
a Sergeant Emmett Holly here?

[screams]

Here, here, what-- well
now, you trust me here,

look at-- look at my
security right here.

I want you to meet my
brand new bride, that's

Mrs. Emmett Holly right there.

Mm, mm, mm, mm.

Oh, oh, she don't usually
blush like this, but, oh, my.

Oh, my.

hmm.

Mrs. Emmett Holly?

Mrs. Emmet Holly?

Has a nice ring
to it, don't it?

Oh!

Oh, I've never been so
outraged in my whole life.

Now Miss Kitty, it ain't
as though you was drug down

here against your free will.

I came down here to undo a
wrong-- to correct a mistake--

my mistake.

Nobody's Perfect

My mistake was helping
you in the first place.

And then you had to
go and do it again.

Hm.

I'm gonna tell you something,
Miss Kitty-- if you keep doing

this, you know, you gonna
run into that temptation

all the time, the sin's gonna
get the best part of you.

Oh, you're the most
impossible old jackass

I've ever met in my life.

And if you think I'm going
to spend the night with you

in this room, you're crazy!

Back here now, wait a minute.

If you don't, we're
both going to be

widows inside of five minutes.

I'd rather be dead.

W-- here, here.

Open the door, you maniac.

EMMETT: Well, let
go of the knob.

MISS KITTY: Ugh.

[groaning]

[laughter]

Miss Kitty?

Oh get out of my way.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Leave me alone.

Miss Kitty, wait.

[laughter]

[groans]

I'm so sorry.

Here, let me have a look.

No, no, you can't tell
nothing by looking, gotta--

you gotta give it the text.

Did I do all that?

No, don't [inaudible] and
don't you worry about a thing.

They've been standing
in line, waiting

to give me some lumps on the
head, but I got to find out.

Find out-- find out what?

If I got a fractured skull.

You see, what you do is, you
pour a little of this whiskey

in the aperture and right
away, one of two things

is going to happen.

Either you go into a
kind of an agitated dance

until it stops hurting, or
else you fall over stone

cold dead like a struck ox.

And then that's a for sure sign
that you got a fractured skull.

You're drunk.

No, I remember one
summer, the Mescaleros,

they coming into my
camp and thunking

my soldier boys on the head
like they was ripe melons.

And all them boys
appreciated my whiskey test.

Those uh, has
survived it, that is.

[chuckling]

Don't do that!

[pained screaming]

[laughter]

Oh, Miss Kitty, I do believe
I'm gonna survive. [chuckling].

[crash]

[laughter]

Hey, hey, Holly is muy macho.

[laughter]

Oh, I'm sleeping
over here by the door.

Oh, no, no now, Miss Kitty.

I think-- I think you
ought to have the bed.

Look, you may not
have a cracked skull,

but you sure have
a cracked brain,

and I want to get as
much distance between us

as can be arranged.

Well, if that's how you
feel about it, but ha,

does seem like a terrible waste
of unavoidable circumstances.

[chuckling]

Good night, Sergeant Holly.

I um, I suppose you had to
tell them that I was your wife?

Oh, no.

I could have said
you was my mother.

[chuckling]

Oh, you're impossible.

FESTUS: Oh, stand up on
your feet and walk, now.

MATT: Tie him in the saddle.

Sam, do you think you'll
have any trouble getting them

back to the Englewood Sheriff?

SAM: No problem at all, Marshal.

WILSON: Say, I'm
too sick to travel.

CHICO: I-I told you
everything, Marshal.

It-- it will count, yes?

Maybe, if Jeeter was going
where you said he was going.

But why would he be going
to the town of Oblivion?

He wanted us to ride
shotgun on his money,

promised us another thousand
if we got him safe to Mexico.

Festus, does he have a horse?

FESTUS: Far as I can tell,
he ain't even got no feet,

he ain't moved two inches in no
direction since we been here.

Oh, he's got feet all right,
he was kicking me and Chico

in the elbow half the night.

All right, it's
clearly understood,

I come back with
$12,000 and then me,

and Jeeter and my bride, we
get the keys to the city, hm?

I'll see you in
about an hour, Love.

Oh yeah, my gun?

You don't need a gun.

Well now wait a
minute, Jeeter going

to get all upset he sees me
without some backup artillery.

I mean, he might even
think that you boys

are not altogether trustworthy.

[clanking]

You ain't back in that hour,
listen hard to the south here.

You won't get so far you
won't be able to hear

this redhead yelling.

Huh, thank you.

There.

Oh look, why-- why don't you
do my laundry whilst I'm gone?

You know, busy
hands and all that?

[chuckling]

I don't trust him.

I don't trust him--
not a penny's worth.

Bodine, you and
Lomax follow behind.

The minute they start
to dig for that money,

bury him and his partner.

[SHOUTING] Holly, Holly!

Private Horse, time for
a little refreshment,

here, but I haven't
got any for you, Boy.

Yah, go on down there.

Get on down there,
Private Horse.

Trust old Holly, here.

[hoofbeats]

Take your sweaty
hands off those reins.

Now get down off there nice
and easy before this piece

makes jerky strips out of you.

Sergeant, maybe we
can work out a deal.

Maybe.

You listen quick.

Supposin' that Jeeter
don't buy the deal?

Ready to move in fast.

But make sure we
take them alive.

Partners?

Yeah.

I told Pinero you'd
buried the money,

and we'd have to go dig it up.

Well sure.

I buried it.

That's what we'll do, we'll
ride there and dig it up.

Well, that was good
thinking, Jeeter.

Now, we're going
to have to trust

each other if we're going to get
Miss Kitty Russell out of this.

Now, as a contribution
to our new bond of faith,

here, take that.

Well Sarge, that's
real-- Sergeant,

you're on the wrong horse.

Oh, well I thought
I'd just spell

old Private Horse for awhile
with a little lighter load.

[chuckling]

Whoa.

Wh--

It's your turn now, Sergeant.

You get down nice and easy.

Why Jeeter, you wouldn't
double cross a friend.

Let's get them.

Boots and saddles, Horse.

[clicks]

[gunfire]

He's riding off with the money!

[gunfire]

[chuckling]

Nothing like the
sound of a busy battle.

[gunfire]

Let's get him.

Well, you arrived just
in time, Mr. Big Fist.

Treat 'em gentle.

Ho!

Hey, that means
"go," civilian horse.

Hiyah, yah.

Relax, Red.

It can be fun being a widow, hm?

Let's talk about
uh, you and me, hm?

This is a hard world for a
woman to travel alone, hm?

[screams]

[inaudible].

Now, now there, Miss Kitty,
don't you worry about a thing.

There, Marshal Big Fist
up there in the rocks

stomping out them bad bellies,
and Pinero's comeuppance

is about to come up.

And finally, old Holly
got you in his arms, huh?

[chuckling]

Yeah.

Say listen, tell me, did you
have time to do my laundry?

[groans]

[GROANING] Oh, Holly.

[chuckling]

EMMETT: 618, 619, 620.

Yes sir, $23,620, which along
with this stack of Pinero's

over here comes out
just about exactly

to the amount of the payroll.

[chuckling]

Shouldn't you take the
apple out of his mouth?

Oh, not till I roast him.

Ha!

You know, Kitty, baby if old
Holly had any sense what's

on this table here would
represent henceforth what would

be known as Sergeant Emmett
Holly's Retirement and Pension

Fund Limited, and
you and I could

go down and enjoy about a
140-year vacation in Mexico.

You're not serious.

Well, now are you not
dazzled by the thought

of accompanying old Holly
and all this money to Mexico?

No.

And you stop talking nonsense.

Hm.

Still mooning after
old Big Fist, huh?

[chuckling]

Well, can't blame a man
for trying, can you?

[chuckling]

[sighs]

OK then, I guess it's
back to flag and country.

Yeah, being underfed,
underpaid, and--

[whinnying outside]

[groaning]

Hey, well they're all here--
Matt, and Festus, and Newly.

Underfed, underpaid, and
undercut by some slouch-hatted

marshal that just takes
a fancy to a man's girl

when he was about to
marry her and sweep her

off to Mexico for a honeymoon.

Sergeant Holly.

[footsteps]

[groaning]

You're a dear.

Ha.

What's going on around here?

[smacking]

Nothing to worry
your head about.

EMMETT: It gets better
all the time, Big Fist.

You'd best watch yourself.

Ha ha-- gets better
all the time.

[music playing]

[theme music]

NARRATOR: Stay tuned for scenes
from next week's "Gunsmoke."

[theme music]