Original subtitles

Three, two...

one...

-Go! -Come on!

Look, I've overtaken him.

-She's already here. -No!

-What if there were a truck? -Don't start...

I mean, don't be so negative...

Go! Go! Go!

That's good.

Watch out. It's crashing into us. Damn, look out.

You are acting like my dad when he was teaching me how to drive.

Shall I overtake him?

Oh, my.

Look at me overtaking him!

Oh, my God!

Look at that. Look at that.

Slow down! Slow down!

There's a wall!

Calm down, I would be dumb to have an accident with you,

I mean your crocodile would shade mine.

Get lost, you and your freaking crocodile.

Well, it's a long one. Mine is not.

-Yeah, sure. -That would be stupid.

Now. Now. Now.

You're scaring me, though.

Why? Look how good... See? He's overtaken us again.

Go! Go! Go!

Here we go.

-Come on, we made it. -Go.

Great, Rocco!

Yes!

-Oh, my God. What is it? -Oh, my!

What's happened, guys?

You've disturbed the spirits of this house.

Sabrina!

You're all gonna die and go to Hell!

What's going on there?

-What? -The timbale is ready.

How wonderful!

-Nice! -Wait.

So nice!

Christian, do you want to introduce your dish?

"Timballo flammand volcan,"

created by King Ferdinand of Naples.

Look.

In the original recipe, timbale is made with livers, meat...

This one is with shrimps.

-Yes. -Shrimps, peas, mushrooms...

-Bechamel. -Bechamel.

Basically, it's a New Year's meal. There are all sort of ingredients.

This timbale is a work of art.

-Very good. -It's good.

Very, very good.

I'm happy.

I've written an ode for you, Christian.

-Can I recite an ode to the timbale? -Go on.

"Christian has cooked a great timbale

Full of surprises, macaroni, shrimps and other things

As Christian, it's varied, unpredictable, tasty and surprising

And, as his timbale, to make a great entrance

He would set himself on fire"

-Nice! -So nice!

-Thank you! -A toast!

A toast!

-Well done! -So nice!

Great. One of the best dish at Dinner Club.

-Yes, sure. -Maybe the most spectacular.

-Maybe. -Thank you. Thank you.

It's very good. Not to take anything away from Christian,

but it is not classy if you say,

"The most spectacular, the most difficult dish..."

I still have to prepare mine.

I'm under so much pressure... Then...

You have made all this speech for Rocco...

Defend your work.

But coming right after "the greatest dish..."

-Come on. -Don't be insecure.

Come on. Go for it. We believe in you.

-This should motivate you. -I got this.

-Thank you. -Shall I?

-Go on. -So...

Emanuela, now,

go to the kitchen

and make your dish,

which I'm sure will be the real stunner

of this edition.

I completely agree with Sabrina.

It will be a blast, it will cheer us up.

-Exactly. -As your rival in this competition,

I know it will be an honor to lose against you.

It's time to believe in yourself.

It's time to stand up for yourself.

-Well... -Everything you can do,

that we know of.

So...

Guys, I'm pumped!

-Go! -Go!

-Bravo! -Go!

-Thank you. -Come on.

Go for it!

-Come on! -Go, Emanuela!

I mean, I already feel like a winner.

-Great. -Thank you so much.

-Way to go! -That's what we're talking about.

Guys, is the suitcase in the van?

-Is it? -The suitcase.

I...

-No. -What do you mean?

-Emanuela? -No.

-I haven't seen it. -You're the ones sitting on the back.

He's getting mad.

Christian, who was in charge of the suitcase?

They were. I'm in front, how can I check it?

-Whatever... -It was just before your eyes.

-Not before... -Why were we in charge?

-And on the back... Who was checking it? -How are we gonna get it back?

Where was the last time we saw it?

The suitcase is in a safe place.

I took care of it.

What... Where is it?

...the courage

I know the song, but not the first part.

Very long!

All together!

Don't leave me, it's not fair

Don't leave me, it's not fair

Don't do it, it's not fair

Inside that suitcase

You can't fit

All our past

Now we're going to Carife,

where we're visiting my friend, Gaetano.

What does Gaetano do?

Gaetano turns anything into art.

GAETANO AND IRPINIA THE APPIAN WAY, KM. 338

Watch out, it's slippery.

-Oh, my God! -Is everything okay, Christian?

Hold my hand!

This was part of the Appian Way, once.

-What? -Yes, comfy.

We're walking along the Appian Way.

But we're going upstream.

-Like salmons do, you see? -Like salmons.

You have to remember something.

Irpinia is a land of castles,

witches, wolves...

And of crazy people, of nutters.

And of Gaetano.

Hey, Carlo, my friend!

Look who I brought you!

-Rocco. -Hello.

-Emanuela. -Gaetano. It's a pleasure.

-Perfect. -Hi, Gaetano.

I'm trying something with the clay in the river.

-This is all clay. -It's all clay.

Before you work with clay, you have to get rid of air bubbles.

It takes some manufacturing. This is the only place in the world

in which you can take some clay and work with it on the spot.

What are you making now, Gaetano?

I'm trying to make a bird of freedom.

See how beautiful it is?

The more you court the clay, and pay attention to it...

-Sure. -...the more it stays with you.

It's like a woman.

How many women have you seduced with clay?

Only Stefania, my wife.

I went for a clay and paper workshop in Salerno.

We worked with paper and clay, it's a sort of oven like a volcano,

and it was love at first sight.

-I mean, it has been 11 years... -Well, it was clay at first sight.

-Great. -Oh, my, Carlo.

Don't answer him, Gaetano.

He is polite. Leave him alone.

What do you mean by "clay at first sight"?

-It was hilarious. -It's not a proper Italian sentence.

Carlo, lose that habit...

-Don't hug me... -Let's go.

-No, I mean, let's go. -Hold my hand.

Let's walk on water!

Oh, my God. My socks are soaked.

-How nice. -So nice.

These are handmade by Gaetano.

Are they all yours, Gaetano?

Yes.

-Do we have to do something now? -You have to make the famous cocciuto.

Do you know what a cocciuto is?

No.

It's a system to store caciocavallo.

It's a portable cellar.

No bacteria will form inside it.

-It ages. -It refines.

Fantastic.

It would be useful for people as well.

You could put me in a cocciuto and I would last longer.

Break it in three years and I'll be the same.

Let's see how he is. Bacteria-free.

-Better. -Better.

-How do you put the caciocavallo in? -Now he'll show us.

-Here we go. -Let's get our hands wet.

We have to hold the ball in the center with all our strength.

Look how it's done. You guys are next.

-I'll make the base. -See?

It looks like magic.

I can't wait to put my hands there.

Now we put a caciocavallo in and we'll give it new life.

Make it wider, or else it won't fit.

Look, it's in. And now, you'll close it.

Are we supposed to make these things? No way.

The top is complicated.

Now, he'll put...

I've never seen you so quiet and focused.

It's magical, I'll say.

-It's hypnotic. -Yes.

Let's take the thread.

Here is the cocciuto caciocavallo from Irpinia.

Let's make it official.

"I, Gaetano, give you, Rocco, the baton of an art."

-Thank you. -No, you have to say it.

You have to tell him.

"I, Gaetano, give you..."

So, "I..."

-"Gaetano..." -"Gaetano..."

"Give you."

-"Give..." Great, help me. -"Give you..."

-"Give you..." -"The baton..."

"The baton..."

"...of my art."

Go away. Go away.

I'll take this one. It's ready to go.

What is it? A spermatozoon?

I'm off to a good start.

The cocciuto.

-Here it is. -Here it is.

-What's inside? -There's some cheese.

A caciocavallo.

Is there cheese in that pot?

-Yes. -What do you know!

-It's like a cellar. -A mummy.

-Exactly. -A catacomb.

-A tomb. -A catacomb?

-A tomb for the caciocavallo. -A coffin.

It's stored in there.

-It's hard. -It's hard.

Are you hard, too?

-Well, I may be. -Yes.

-Me too. -Yes.

And I'm hard on men. I break their hearts.

-Well. -Come on!

-A toast! -A toast!

Christian, easy with the lathe.

Slow down, you're not dancing.

Oh, my God!

There is something strange going on here.

I'm making a bowl.

What shall I do?

You have to cut it, and start all over again.

Come on, let me do it.

Look how nice it is.

Very nice.

Gaetano, what do you think?

Step by step.

Bravo, Rocco, bravo!

Careful! It's getting like mine.

'Cause you guys are a bit too hasty.

-Also this shape... -It's nice.

It looks like a toilet.

Cut it, come on.

You made a proper doughnut.

-Are you starting all over? -This is great.

-This was made by Rocco. -Look, Carlo.

And there's a hole on the bottom,

which is wonderful.

-Gaetano. -Let's try to make one.

The only hope is mine, not theirs. Why have you given up on me?

Stop and cut it, yours is the tallest.

You won. Unlike theirs, yours is not centered.

-If you go on, you'll break it. -Okay.

-Perfect. -There's a hole...

-Guys, look at this. -Rocco.

I made it with my own hands.

-Sure! -Great!

I made it over there.

Look how marvelous.

-See, Rocco? -Take this junk away.

-With a hole. -Look how marvelous.

Let's write something nice on it, okay?

-Beware. -Beware.

-Are there two? -This one...

This one is an ogive. It's a rocket.

Read it out loud.

"You're tastier than caciocavallo."

I'll take it as a compliment.

Well... It is, indeed.

-Cool, nice touch. -Caciocavallo is good.

-A cheese with... -A bit of poetry.

-Yes, that's right. -It's a pity to break it.

-Shall we taste it? -Yes.

Corrado, could you break it?

-I'll be delighted. -With my head?

Or my face, or even with my...

Corrado.

You must really plunge...

in Dinner Club.

It's an experience.

-Are we eating the content? -Yes, yes.

Go on.

-It looks really solid. -Watch out for your eyes.

Watch out for your eyes.

Fucking he--

-How nice. -Very nice!

It's stuck to the clay.

-Corrado is ready for Dinner Club. -I think so.

-And for many other things. -Yes.

Look at the material, the clay. How wonderful.

-How is it, guys? -Very good.

-Strong, huh? -Yes.

It's tasty, it's very good.

YOU ARE TASTIER THAN CACIOCAVALLO

-Ah, here it is. -What is it?

Is it an esoteric moment?

Let's toast to the esoteric moment.

You make a toast. I'll try to connect with them.

-To the spirits! -So...

This is the code. I'll ask a question...

-Yes. -Two bangs means "no."

-One bang means "yes." -Yes.

This is the sound of the caciocavallo from the inside?

-Yes. -Gaetano is inside.

-"Knock knock" on... -Gaetano...

-Gaetano! -Sorry.

Sabrina has been dethroned from Dinner Club?

To hell with that!

To hell with that she has!

"To hell with that" is three bangs.

Another question!

-Yes. -Corrado Guzzanti...

will join Dinner Club next year?

-To hell with that! -Yes!

-No! -Look how wonderful!

This is like a bank vault!

-Great! -Here are all my thoughts.

I see. What thought is this?

This is a capocollo.

Tasty. Is this aged?

-Take it. -This is good.

Yes. This is the pig's bladder.

The bladder.

What do we need it for? To store a part of the pork, of course.

What is it?

-The... -The...

-Lard! -The lard!

The lard, the "nzogna."

-The "nzogna"? -That's how they call it here.

They put it in the bladder and store it there.

So, we're going to put some...

-Do you know this? The Ofyr? -No.

-Is it a brazier? -It is.

Go on, like that.

-Go on. -Guys!

-Yes. Go on. -Is this a capocollo?

My jewels.

You can cut a thicker slice.

Manuela has such nice hands.

Look how nice they were.

-This is a steak. -It's a fiorentina.

-Fine by me. -Antonio!

-It's great. -It's a fiorentina.

-I mean... -Well, but I...

-It's -Look...

-We really enjoy it. -But it's not bad!

-It's a rib-eye steak! -Let him taste it.

Slice it, Emanuela.

It's so good.

Emanuela, have you come up with any ideas?

For the dinner?

They're going to love me thanks to the cocciuto and the caciocavallo.

Yes. Here, look. Turn.

But, I mean...

We have to bring something a bit more complex than that.

Oh, my, this soppressata is so hard.

How is the capocollo, Rocco?

Extraordinary!

You have been eating it for two hours!

Thank you.

No!

How tasty!

So good!

-Let's dance. -It's so good.

Oh, my!

Rocco had a sunstroke.

Guys, food is ready.

This place is so nice.

-How do you like this trip? -It's fantastic.

The greatest thing, I think,

is that, day by day,

it gets better and better.

At first, I have to admit, I was a bit skeptical.

-Really? -Yes.

But then,

I feel this is a sort of a spiritual experience.

I like this connection with food, and with the history of food.

-Exactly. -Which is...

-The most important thing. -Very interesting.

-Cheers! -Well...

I FEEL NERVOUS.

Don't worry, I've been there, it's not complicated.

Never let him tell you guys a joke! Never!

Too late.

I've insisted a lot. I think he got it.

Just test him. Try to ask him,

"Carlo, what did the police officer say to an ice cube?"

He's changed, you'll see.

I'm afraid of asking that question.

Carlo, what did the police officer say to an ice cube?

"Freeze!"

Oh, my God!

Oh, my!

He's still doing it. He answered. He hasn't given up on the jokes.

Help.

Anyway, we moved on and went to Basilicata.

-You went through it. -Yes, indeed.

And it was so good!

You must know

that the Appian way goes through Basilicata

only for 14 miles.

As almost everything in Basilicata, it's small or short.

But 14 wonderful miles.

If Christ stopped at Eboli

Whose fault is it?

Surely is not ours

We love him

Ba Ba Basilicata

Ba Ba Basilicata

What do you know Have you ever seen it?

Basilicata is on my mind

Altogether, come on!

Ba Ba Basilicata

Ba Ba Basilicata

What do you know Have you ever seen it?

Basilicata is on my mind

Bravo!

Look, Christ didn't stop at Eboli,

but Christian will. We have to stop, I need to pee so badly.

Just stop, I'll do it behind a tree.

Can we at least enter Basilicata?

-So, you'll pee in Basilicata. -Hurry, though, or I'll pee in my pants.

So, let me tell you something.

Our first stop will be Venosa.

Well, yes.

-Which is Horace's birthplace, right? -That's right.

I'm going to introduce you to someone.

'U Re. The King.

'U Re?

-Is this 'U Re a chef like you? -No.

He calls himself "the new Horace."

A poet?

A poet?

Well, look who's there!

-'U Re. -Carlo, good morning.

-How are you? -It has been a while!

The King is the new Horace of Venosa.

A poet?

No, but I write aphorisms, you know?

And they say that in the remote future,

I mean very remote,

they'll remove Horace and they'll put 'U Re.

Aren't you humble?

Can you tell us one of your aphorisms?

No, I mean...

"Too many cooks spoil the broth." Listen to 'U Re.

-I've heard it before. -Me too.

-No. -You didn't?

-I think so. -But it's not yours.

One of yours, please.

An aphorism which I created

has now become...

It's now used by everybody.

-My way of greeting. -Which is?

"So."

-So. -So.

-What does it mean? -That's my thing.

-So. -It means "hello."

Hello.

It's a word I made up.

-What do you say when you enter a bar? -So.

No, then you say, "Drink responsibly means...

"Don't spill it!"

-That's funny. -Nice one.

I'll post it.

Listen, guys. Go with Rocco,

while I'll take Emanuelina to the kitchen.

Okay? I'll leave them to you.

-Got it? -Let's go.

Are we cattle, now?

-Bye. -The suitcase!

Shall I carry it?

No, this... You better not.

-Let's go. -Are you ready?

-Yes. -Have you ever made ice cream?

No!

-Let's do it. -Really?

-Really. -Fruit or cream? Cream, for me.

-I'm more... -You prefer fruit.

I like both.

Come. Come.

So, tell me what you think of this name.

"Basi-licking."

This is a pun, and I'm okay with it.

-You're okay with it? I thought so. -I'm okay with it.

Because it's not yours.

Exactly.

THE APPIAN WAY, KM. 389 THE BASI-LICKING

-Good morning. -Hello.

-Emanuela. -This is Emanuela.

-Franco Nastasia. Nice to meet you. -Care for an ice cream?

Always. I always care for ice cream.

Be my guest.

-But this... -Taste it and give us your take on it.

-Codfish? It tastes delicious. -Exactly.

-And peppers? -Peppers...

Is it crusco?

-It is. So good. -It is.

This is street food

conceived by Franco.

-Yes, I conceived it. -Did you?

I had this idea. Something you can hold and eat with one hand,

while you can hold your kids' hand with your other one.

-What's this? -Guess what?

This is made of layers.

There are other ingredients.

Peperone crusco, codfish... What are these?

These are vegetables, the ciambotta.

I don't know what that is.

There is no official recipe for the ciambotta,

like for the elixir of life or the Holy Grail.

-Great. -It's more a goal to reach...

-Incredible. -Heavy stuff.

It's an ideal, more than a recipe.

It's quite a tradition in the South of Italy.

In Sicily is known as caponata, for other reasons.

It's so good.

Isn't there anything to drink?

-Please, sit down. -Aren't we going to be served?

No, here you help yourself.

-I'll go. You stay. -No, wait. I'm coming.

-Please, check the suitcase. -Don't worry. Okay.

Here we are. Look. Look what he did with the room.

-Nice. -It's nice, come on.

Take the mugs, I'll get the beer.

Let's go, come on.

Hi, neighbors!

They are American cowboys!

Here is the perfect music.

Come on, Sabri! Sabri!

Go, Emanuela, be a cowgirl.

It's a polka, Sabri.

I'll show you.

Go, Sabri!

See?

This goes like this, people.

This is the move.

-Come on! -What dance is this?

-No, this sucks! It really does. -What is it?

-You do it! -What is this? What is it?

-I see... -Do this!

Here, this.

See?

This is very classy indeed.

I'll take the lasso.

See, he's jumping. He's like a cricket.

-Go, Corrado! -Go, Corrado!

-Down. Slowly. Go down. -Slowly, slowly.

-Now, push hard. -I'll push now.

-Won't I break it? -No.

No, it won't break.

-I have this uncontrollable strength... -I know.

-I can hardly control myself. -Especially verbally.

And now...

-Steel hands. -Yes, it's time for...

It's lukewarm, when you put it in there.

-Go on. -Lukewarm?

-Come on, go for it! -No way.

-Don't overthink. -Don't overthink.

-You talk too much. Go. -No, it's boiling hot.

-Don't overthink. -It burns.

-Look, it burns! -Don't overthink.

-Is it a Candid Camera? -Listen, how did he do it?

-He... -He was wearing gloves!

He folded this part,

-and then this one. -Aren't you getting burnt?

-What's underneath your fingertips? -Then you hold it here...

Using your strength.

Or it won't close.

Wait, turn...

-I'll do it. -Let's see.

-Well, if we take this off... -It's not bad.

-It's not bad. -It's not.

Do you like being back, and being able to speak your dialect?

I love it. My dialect is...

it's my truth.

I speak dialect to myself.

When I told my dad I wanted to be an actor, I said,

"Shall I go to drama school?"

"No way.

"You'll become like the others.

"Italian doesn't exist. Dialects do."

Did being Vittorio De Sica's son

play a big part in your life?

I mean, a person whose dream is being an actor

and whose father is Vittorio De Sica,

and then loses... My dad died when I was 23...

Think of all the stories he could have told me,

how many fears I would have overcome,

how many tips he could have given to me. I mean, it was a real bummer.

But the little he passed on was very useful, because...

Was he happy you were an actor?

At first, he was bragging about my university studies,

but I used to go with my mom to the fairs in the squares.

-Did you sing? -I did.

I had a little band, La Pattuglia Azzurra,

whose drummer was Massimo Boldi.

-Did he sing? -Great comedian, but horrible drummer.

I'm kidding. Listen, out of curiosity...

Have you got a life-long dream

which you haven't fulfilled yet, and that you're still pursuing?

I want to tell you about a dream I had,

which was in a scene of August Vacation.

I had this line,

"I'd like to make love "365 days a year,

with 365 different women,

or maybe with one, whom I'll marry."

-Nice. -It was nice.

It was written by Virzì. Let's have a toast! To us!

Hooray for Basilicata!

What now, Franco?

We'll put the cooked codfish and we'll cream it.

-You have to add some oil. -Let's add the oil. So...

I'll keep you steady. Or else you'll go all over the place.

Look, I have my own technique. I'm using my strength.

Great.

-It's like The Sword in the Stone. -It's great.

You can also use a blender.

It would be much faster.

But then... Franco.

You are saying it's faster,

so why didn't you tell me that before? Why am I doing this?

Add the oil. It's because you must learn.

Let's say one day there's a power outage.

But in life, if there's a power outage for once,

-in the dark... -You go to bed

-and you don't watch TV. -I didn't mean that.

But it's too much information for me, even if I find it sweet.

-I meant... -I have four kids!

-Somehow... -We bought the TV afterwards.

You had many power outages... If there's a power outage,

you won't think, "It's dark. Let's cream the codfish."

You could order pizza, right?

-The kneader, Carlo. -What?

You told me there was a kneader, didn't you?

-So you can mix it straight away... -We don't need that.

Come on, Carlo. Don't make me... I'm exhausted.

Corrado, what is the scariest thing about Dinner Club?

Be honest. Be honest. Be honest.

The blood sugar level.

I'm afraid to get a heart attack, but the food is good.

Push it. Push it. Push it.

What do you like the most?

The company.

How nice!

I was very happy to come back,

because I liked the group and said,

-"How cool!" -Yes.

A bit like via Veneto in La Dolce Vita times,

when you could meet... You know? Sergio Corbucci eating with Visconti...

-Great. -...sharing ideas with Frank Sinatra.

For me it's more difficult than for you. I live in Milan.

Milan is great for fashion, and for music.

I mean, it's not great for cinema.

When in Rome, I miss fashion.

-But you often go to Milan. -Yes, they call me for fashion shows.

-Also for fashion shows for women? -I'm a model.

-I'm a model. -He is.

That's right. They called him "The Body."

I was "The Body" when I was young.

Now they give me some clothes...

I mean, if I can wear it,

so can anyone else.

Can you show me your catwalk?

He's very cool. He has his own move.

Look, let's go. Go.

-I'll walk towards you. -Do you want some music?

No, I use the music in my head.

-All right. -This is...

-Okay. See? -It's called...

-"Hesitation." -"Hesitation."

-Nice! -Good!

-Very nice! -Great!

It's very classy.

You feel like buying that jacket straight away.

I want it! I do!

-Even if it's for men... -If he wears this jacket,

I wonder what his undies look like.

And what about his sleeveless shirt?

Sabrina!

-And you? -Sabrina, walk the catwalk.

Yes.

Be erotic, be sensual, be sexy.

I've never done it,

because my lingerie, at the right time,

doesn't last long on me.

-I strip very fast, I don't waste time. -You're a goddess!

I don't like wasting time.

Go on!

Look at this. Look what's coming!

So, the lingerie is this one...

Do you want a peek?

And then, click!

-Can you feel it? -Of course.

-A whiplash! -A whiplash!

You're gorgeous!

Then this...

And then so...

Very well.

-Toothache. -And then like that...

Very good!

Look at that!

And here we go!

That's it.

-I've improved a lot... -I am...

That was nothing, huh?

-Someone's at the door. -Who is it?

Another guest.

-The bell rang. -Who is it, Carlo?

Don't look at me. I'm not expecting anyone.

Attention, please!

-Are you off? -It's for me. I'll be back.

Or maybe not. Who knows.

Where is she going?

The female buffalos are scared of me!

How do you know it's a male?

-Well! -A female buffalo!

Look how beautiful it is!

The mussel from Taranto doesn't give you the runs.

The runs are coming!

Very delicate.

The mussel is very delicate.

And now, Apulia!

There's one thing left :

the suitcase.

-Rocco. -I'm diving into the sea.