Original subtitles

but yours is different. I like it. Come on.

(STATIC)

MAN 1 ON RADIO: Hey, the radio here is beautiful,

even though the guys get out there, I understand,

they aren't talking about anything, you know.

but she can't make a trip to me.

MAN 3: Break up...

WOMAN 2: Hello? Hello?

Hello?

(MAN 4 SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

MAN 5: Is there something wrong with my modulation?

I just don't want to lose my modulation.

Yesterday I lost my modulation. I was unhappy all day.

MAN 6: She leaned forward in bed,

her breasts young and perked

glistened with the dewy moisture of...

Because the less you eat, the longer you live.

WOMAN 3: You got your antenna up.

WOMAN 2: Hello? MAN 8: Terrible thing.

WOMAN 2: Hello? (STATIC)

Hello?

What's wrong with this thing?

MAN 10: There's a whole lot of turkeys out there tonight, that's for sure, for sure.

MAN 11: 10-33! Somebody get the cops!

WOMAN 4: Oh, no, no, we've been married 13 years.

MAN 12: Okay, well...

MAN 13: Hey, trucker...

MAN 12: Mmm, well, more power to you.

I hope you make it another 13 and maybe more.

MAN 14: I yelled at you? Who the hell are you?

(MAN 15 SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

is like trying to eat and kiss. It's a mess.

WOMAN 2: Do you know if anyone's listening?

MAN 17: Terrible thing.

MAN 18: The right way.

WOMAN 3: Breaker! Breaker! You definitely got that tootsie roll good, buddy,

so bring it back. Come on, walk it back.

WOMAN 2: I just want somebody to talk to.

MAN 13: Hey, trucker, what's your 2-0?

MAN 19: There are some nice people out there on the radios.

You meet a few dummies on the air.

MAN 21: Yeah, I know. I was born there.

MAN 22: Who are you, anyway?

WOMAN 1: Wouldn't you like to know?

Yeah, me and nine other guys.

(STATIC)

¶ I'm not in love

¶ So don't forget it

¶ It's just a silly phase

¶ I'm goin' through... ¶

(TURNS RADIO OFF)

How about it, Electra, you out there?

(STATIC)

You got a copy, Electra?

This is Electra. Come on.

Uh, this here is Warlock.

How do you copy?

I'm getting about 8 pounds. Come on.

(SEXY SIGH)

Just wondered if I was getting out in this storm and all.

Oh, yeah, I read you wall to wall and treetop tall.

Break for that southbound.

How about it? You got a copy?

(MAN RESPONDING INDISTINCTLY ON RADIO)

How about it, Corn Flake, you got 'em all?

You know Death Row?

Why? Did he tell you to call me?

He's my best friend.

Say, do you go to school around here?

I can't give out all my secrets, can I?

Are you alone?

Yeah.

There are a lot of voices out there,

but yours is different. I like it.

What are you wearing?

WARLOCK: Jeans and a shirt.

Can we undo a few buttons?

(HORN BLARING) (TIRES SCREECHING)

(CATTLE MOOING)

ELECTRA: Oh, mind if I slide my hand under your shirt?

Uh... No.

ELECTRA: You feel so muscular. Are you on a team?

Uh... Basketball.

You're not nervous, are you?

Uh...

No. Uh...

I'm okay.

(CATTLE MOOING)

Break! Break! How about it, React?

KEY-0650 calling Union React. How about it?

You got a copy on the Chrome Angel?

You got Union React. Go ahead.

Yeah, a cotton-picking four-wheeler run me off the road out here.

I need a wrecker, make it a big one. I'm an 18-wheeler.

10-4 there, Chrome Angel. What's your 20?

Highway 73 northbound, just past the Redding Exit.

Stand by.

This is Union React calling at Smilin' Jack. Come on.

THE HUSTLER: Calling all girls! Calling all girls!

This is The Hustler. Come on over.

Hey, get off the channel, dummy.

Get off Channel 9, I got a 10-33 out here.

You're in violation of FCC Regulation 9541.

Channel 9 is reserved for emergency use only.

THE HUSTLER: I don't care, lame-brain.

You guys are walking on me so I'm gone.

This is Union React to That Smilin' Jack. Come on.

(MEN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

This is Union React to Smilin' Jack. Come on.

Go, React.

Is that you, Spider?

10-4, Smilin' Jack.

Listen, we've got an 18-wheeler off the road

near the Redding off-ramp. Request assistance.

(SIREN WAILING) Negative. Got a six-car TA here

that's an R-E-A-L gooey mess.

Looks like we'll be pulling things.

I'm stuck here for another hour or so.

Back to you.

10-4 there, Smilin' Jack. Thank you for the comeback.

and you go right ahead with your TA.

Don't let the wind break your antenna.

This is KSM-2021. We clear.

(CATTLE MOOING)

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

Shit. Damn cotton-pickin'...

(GROANING)

(GRUNTING)

This is Union React. Chrome Angel, do you copy?

No sweat.

Negative copy.

(GRUNTING)

Listen, Cochise, how'd you like to take over the base for a few minutes?

Oh, sure. have a Coke?

Get a Coke from the fridge. I'll be back in a few minutes.

I gotta go check on this truck.

ELECTRA: Warlock, it's never been this good before.

Oh, I know. I know.

I'm about to explode.

Oh, yes. Yes.

Break 2-2 for Moondog. Any word on that, Chrome Angel.

Warlock?

MAN: ...Moondog? Moondog?

Warlock? Warlock?

I'm sorry about that breaker.

Uh... Sure.

Listen...

I'm in my father's car and everything.

I was supposed to get it back and...

Well, maybe I just better back off and go 10-7.

Hey!

Hey, what are you doing?

Hey, man. What's the matter?

Oh, shit!

Can I give you hand there, buddy?

His arm is pinned.

Quick, get a jack.

Coming up.

Come on! Hurry up!

Get an ambulance. Call an ambulance on the CB.

On the way.

You're going to be all right.

It's going to be all right. Help is coming.

Cotton-pickin' thing. Uh, terrible...

Terrible cotton-pickin' thing.

The parts come from Lincoln.

I don't have much choice, do I?

Can't run for a few days, anyway.

Cochise, call Sandy and see how he's fixed for axles.

Never mind. I'll get him myself.

The calls will go on the bill.

What about the cows? What about them?

Well, I don't want them to get restless

and break up my garage.

Crappin' on my blacktop.

You can run 'em cows through your living room,

they'll have to crap sideways to hit your blacktop anyway.

Just so they don't.

No wonder you smell so bad, Ned.

Ugh!

There.

(SNIFFING) Go ahead, Ned, eat it.

(WHIMPERS)

Ah! No! No, no, no, Ned.

Smart doggie, yeah. Eat it.

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ON RADIO)

HOT COFFEE ON RADIO: Shortstack, is that you?

Here you go, Pop.

MAN 1 ON RADIO: 10-4.

HOT COFFEE ON RADIO: Mercy! What's your 20?

Just past the Sherwood Exit.

Aren't you stopping by?

That's going to have to be a doggone negatory.

MAN 2: This diesel won't wait. Come on back.

HOT COFFEE: Yeah, I'm here...

I definitely appreciate that cinnamon, I definitely do.

MAN 4: Trucker Dan, I need a southbound Pennington...

(STATIC)

(RADIO CONTINUES)

How'd you sleep last night?

Okay.

STUDLEY: Hey, how about it, Papa Thermodyne?

Got them ears on today?

Well, doggone it, Dudley Do-Right,

I didn't expect you for another day, that's for sure, for sure.

You must be keeping the hammer down that old super slab.

That's a big 10-4. Looks like the storm's got all smoky...

THE PRIEST: Jesus must have been running linears the other night.

'Cause, mercy sakes, I never seen such talk power.

You know, that's the thing about the Lord.

You don't need ears to catch his signal.

Now, give The Priest a big old 4 on that.

Yeah, Priest, listen, you're walking all over a nice old man

who happens to be modulating with a friend of his,

and that's real rude.

THE PRIEST: Amen. We gone.

Yeah, if we can get that motor mouth to quit walking all over me.

Here you go, Pop.

Hey, you say how-do to all my boys at K&L.

By golly, ain't nothing perks up this lonely old sidewinder

like talking to my boys.

That a big old 10-4, Papa.

Them double-clutchers will be checking on you for sure.

and we'll modulate with you on the flip side.

We down and gone.

Mercy. Thanks.

You keep the dirty side down, the shiny side up.

Mercy!

How's your coffee, Pop?

It's okay.

Now, what stinks around here?

Oh.

(WHIMPERING)

Don't go breathing around me, moose breath.

Look, uh, I'm going to go to town today.

I got some things to do.

I left some hot dogs in the refrigerator,

and I put your Ding Dongs

next to the toasted marshmallows.

Is there anything else you need?

Take the dog.

I can't, Pop. I got too much to do today.

Then the dog dies.

Come on, Pop.

The dog dies.

GRANDMA BREAKER ON RADIO: My father was a doctor in a little town in Idaho...

Get down. Get...

Get up. I can't...

GRANDMA BREAKER: And I went to school there.

It was my first public school and I was nine years old.

I had long hair and curls.

The marshal of the town had six boys

and one of them was 12-years-old

and they were all bullies. The marshal himself was a bully.

So this boy pulled my hair and I hit him with a baseball bat

and knocked him out.

Thanks, Operator, I'll wait.

Hello, Operator.

Yeah, a collect call to Dallas.

Area code 214-555-1386.

Harold Risley.

Hey, Petey. Yeah, how you doing, boy?

(CHUCKLES)

Mama there? Let me speak to her.

Hi, Joyce, how you doing?

I had a little problem.

Union.

No. Just a scratch, really.

No, Joyce. Honey, no, don't come down here. Everything's fine.

(TELEPHONE RINGING) Well, sure, I'm sure.

Thanks, Operator.

Hey, listen, honey, I got to go work on the Angel, okay?

I'll see you on Tuesday, okay?

Joyce, I love you.

Okay. Give my love to the boys, all right? Bye.

Hi, Connie, how are you doing?

Union.

I had a little accident.

Now, what else would I be doing down here, Connie?

Hey, I love you.

(BLOWS WHISTLE)

All right, everyone fall in!

Get in there! Keep it quiet.

Atten-hut!

Dress right, dress!

Come on, Palmer, what are you using for brains today?

All right, at ease.

Coach Lovejoy, can I go to the bathroom?

You should have thought about that before class, Connover.

All right, boys, I'm going to run a uniform inspection this morning.

When I pass by, I want you to pull out your supporter and snap it back.

I want to hear it snap now, you understand?

Where's your supporter, Connover?

Uh, my mother's washing it.

Give me 15 laps.

Where's your sweat socks, Simon? Forgot 'em.

Going to remember them tomorrow? Yeah.

All right.

How's that ankle? Fine, Coach.

Coach, I really got to go.

Five extra laps, Connover. That makes 20.

You want to try for five more?

Hey. Hey.

Go on, go to the bathroom.

I'll handle... I'll handle the Coach for you.

Blayne, what did you just do?

Hey, what do you say, Coach?

What the hell did you just do?

Oh, come on. I just came by to say hi.

You said something to that boy.

What the hell did you tell him?

All right, everyone in the showers! Double-time! Now, move!

(BLOWS WHISTLE)

So what the hell is this?

Take it easy, will you?

You come in here, you deliberately disrupt my class...

Come on, take it easy!

Don't tell me to take it easy. This is my class.

This is my gym. This is where I work.

I do not need you disrupting things.

Now, what...

Okay, Pam.

Hey, Dean.

Hi, Blayne.

I need some help with Pop. I can't seem to reach him anymore.

You're the one who wanted to take care of everything.

Yeah, I know. But now I'm asking for some help.

I got no part.

Can we be honest about this?

Sure.

Okay, okay, let's... let's be honest about it.

You were Mom's favorite, Donny's Dad's favorite, I got n that's not true.

That's not true.

Floyd don't count. He was always out running around.

That's just not true!

Let it go.

Look, Pop's going to be 65 on Friday.

I thought we could do something special for him.

Like what?

I don't know, birthday party, something like that.

Just us?

Well, Roy's in Alaska, Donny's in jail. Who else?

Great party.

Ah, come on, Dean. You can bring somebody.

We'll get some beer, we'll have a birthday cake and some candles.

He likes that kind of thing.

He's getting old, Dean.

I never noticed it before, but now I do.

He's... I... I don't know,

he's getting a little flaky around the edges, something like that.

The fact is, he never cared for me much.

Well, the way I see it, you're my brother.

That makes you his son.

Huh?

Hey, Pam!

Hi, Blayne. How are you?

Fine. How are you?

Good. How's your dad?

Oh, he's all right.

That's good.

Listen, I want to ask you...

I left some stuff over at your place.

Oh, yeah, a white shirt with a little red bike on it.

Yeah.

Yeah, I have it, a CB radio, and needle-nosed pliers.

Yeah. Can I come by and pick it up?

Sure. This afternoon? Yeah.

Okay.

Hey, all you lonesome cowboys with ears,

this here is Hot Coffee wishing you a doggone fine day, by golly.

Anyone want to dunk their donuts

in some 100-mile Perk-Me-Up,

how about a taste of this here Hot Coffee?

Mercy! We're clear.

Hey, thanks a lot, man.

No sweat.

You got it.

Hey, Debbie, how you doing?

Harold! I didn't expect you until next week.

What happened to your arm?

A long story, babe.

Oh, Harold. It's a long story.

You know, when it starts to hurt,

sometimes you can concentrate real hard on the pain

and fool yourself into enjoying it.

I do that at the dentist.

I just thank my lucky stars... (GROANS)

A guy come along when he did. Uh-huh.

Another five minutes, I'd have lost it for sure.

How's Connie? Fine.

How'd that PTA meeting go?

Well, she gave that school board a piece of her mind

for allowing reading dirty text books in the classroom.

Half and half or straight up?

Hmm, half and half.

HAROLD: You been around a long time, babe,

but nobody makes it like you.

That's because I grind my own beans.

It's just delicious.

It's part Colombian and part French roast.

That's what makes it creamy yet full-bodied.

Things getting any better for you?

It's just not good, Harold.

Right now, you're my only steady left.

Can I help?

Well, thanks, but I don't see how.

I just don't have the business anymore.

First they passed that bond issue,

then they move the highway on me.

Now that goddarn 55-mile limit...

Nobody's got time for nothin'.

So, now if the government's doing these things to me,

I wonder why I bother paying taxes.

You don't pay taxes.

Well, I pay sales tax every time I buy something, don't I?

Yeah, but... Well, all right, then.

You know something, Debbie?

It's a funny country.

I mean, everything's going mobile.

I mean, if you can swing with it, you can do anything.

Well, it's real good-looking. I can't deny that.

Can I go inside?

Oh, please.

Now, this model sleeps three standard

of the 5-7 option available.

Well, golly, that's plenty.

I never even done three.

May I ask you folks something?

Run it down, Hoss. What is it?

Would you ever hoist your motor home several feet in the air

and deliberately drop it?

I don't think so.

That's exactly what sports coach has done

to prove the structural integrity of this baby.

This is your living and entertaining quarters,

CB-equipped, of course. Oh.

Let me take you to the back and show you the sleeping area.

Mmm-hmm.

Oh, it's beautiful, but it's so big.

Here's your tub/shower combination right in here.

Oh!

Um...

Are there any other fixtures available for in there?

What would you like?

Well, I've always kind of wanted a bidet. (LAUGHING)

A bidet?

Yeah, it's French... European.

Well, I'll certainly check the accessory catalogue for you.

Thank you.

Well, it's a lovely home and everything, but who can afford it?

Forget about the money for a minute. Do you like it?

Sure. Who wouldn't?

I'm gonna put enough down to make the monthly payments

the same as the rent at the Cozy Cove.

Harold, I can't let you do that.

But you're gonna have to make the payments now.

Listen, the other day, a guy saved my life.

I'm just glad to do it for you.

Harold!

Let's step inside and do a little horse trading.

Shortstack, you got a copy on that Hot Coffee?

How about some of that original 100 mile Perk-Me-Ups?

Sweetie, sugared, full-bodied, low on calories.

Mercy sakes! Come on back.

That's a big 10-4, Hot Coffee,

I appreciate your offer.

But I got some serious motoring to do.

What's your 10-20?

Look in your mirror, honey. I'm right on your donkey.

Well, all right!

That's a big 10-4, Hot Coffee.

Hey, Pam, the place looks real nice.

I heard you went to the Olympic tryouts.

Here are your things.

Thanks. How'd you do?

Okay.

Here's your radio.

Well, I mean, did you place? No.

Lousy judges, huh?

No. Just wasn't fast enough.

Huh.

Your radio?

Do you use it?

Well, I don't need it. So go ahead and keep it as long as you want.

Your ring.

That's yours.

Blayne.

Hey, what's going on around here? Are you seeing somebody else?

That's it, isn't it? You're seeing some other guy.

Well, Blayne, it's been three months, and...

I know. Listen, I'm real glad for you.

Somebody I know?

I don't want to talk about it.

Come on, who is it?

I said I don't want to talk about it.

How tall is he? Is he taller than me?

Blayne, come on! You can tell me that much.

Is he taller than me?

No.

About the same?

No. Shorter?

Yes, he's a little shorter than you.

What kind of car does he drive?

I'm not gonna tell you...

I'm just asking what kinda car he drives.

Is that asking too much?

I don't know what kind of car he drives.

Is it big?

No.

Small?

Yes, it's small.

Is it American?

No.

Is it, uh...red?

No. Blue?

No. Green?

No. Pink?

White. It's white.

White. Okay, now we're getting somewhere.

Let's see now, he's short,

he drives a white, small, foreign car.

He sounds like a big bimbo to me.

He is not a bimbo.

Say, you got my needle-nosed pliers around here?

Yeah, they're in this bag, and he's not a bimbo.

(SIGHS) Frankly, Pam, I'm really concerned about your future.

I'm... I'm very concerned.

Well, I appreciate that.

Well, if you need me for anything...

Sure.

Goodbye.

Bye.

You're sure you don't need these needle-nose for anything?

Yeah, I'm sure. Thanks.

Right.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

But I still love you.

You...

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION ON RADIO)

PILOT OVER RADIO: Mayday! Mayday! I got a fire!

Can't make Union Airport.

Affirmative to set down on highway 26.

(ENGINE SPUTTERS)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

Break! Break! Emergency! 10-33! 10-38!

I need a react monitor! A react monitor!

WOMAN 1: Do you know Leslie Kenworth? WOMAN 2: No.

Do you know Cindy Lankerman?

Clear the channel! Break! Break!

This is an emergency! I need a react monitor!

WOMAN 1: Get stuffed!

(BRAKES SCREECHING)

(COUGHS) Oh, I can't see nothing.

Are you all right?

Here, let me do that!

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(WHIMPERS)

Oh. Okay.

(COUGHING)

Come on, let's get out of here.

Take him! I'll get help!

THE HUSTLER ON RADIO: Hey, blond hair, big boobs?

Emergency! Emergency! Clear the channel!

Help should be here soon. He's got a CB.

but there are other people in this world besides you.

Break! Break! Any luck yet?

Some people are so rude.

SPIDER: I couldn't get The Hustler off Channel 9.

And you guys must've heard of The Hustler...

Triple-X.

We got some phony priest selling Jesus on Channel 7.

We even got a Nazi, thinks he's going to make Channel 4 pure Aryan.

Don't let them get on your case, buddy.

You're not gonna have any fun on your radio.

Look at it this way, you saved the guy as is.

Now he can start reading up on flying.

MAN: Those turkeys out there are screwing it up for everybody else.

Ten's the idiot channel.

They're all idiot channels.

What do you expect, Spider, with 20 million units out there?

I'll see you guys later.

Where you going, Spider?

Clean up the van.

And how are you gonna do that?

Kick ass.

Break 2-3.

This is KSN-2021.

Spider speaking.

Attention, all Citizen's Band operators.

We're no longer running barefoot here.

Fact is, we're pushing enough power

to start a radio station, so listen up.

From now on, all CB operation

will abide by part 95 of the FCC rules and regulations.

This means...

No improper use of Emergency Channel 9.

No profanity.

No idle chitchat.

No deceptive transmissions.

No operation without a license.

All violators will be dealt with severely.

I repeat...

All violators will be dealt with severely.

This message will be repeated on every channel every day.

Consider yourselves warned.

This Hustler made out with so many girls last night

that I couldn't get up...

Ten degrees east. My problem is...

We'll make a right up here. We're close.

We're real close.

They're beating down my door,

they're going bananas.

It's getting stronger.

Because this is The Hustler...

The hottest stud in town, coming at you live in Union,

24 hours a day.

And, girls, if you can dig my signal...

Sound the horn if anyone shows.

No sweat.

Is your mother or father home?

No.

No school today, Hustler?

No. I'm sick.

Well, I hope you get well real soon.

Hey, what are you doing in there? Get out of here!

Where's your radio, big shot?

You think garbage-mouthing on Channel 9's a joke. (THE HUSTLER YELLING)

Well, it's not a joke.

Get over here! You almost killed somebody this week.

Come on, where is it?

(HONKING)

Man, if you don't get out of here...

Get out of my way.

(RADIO PLAYING) Ah! Great! Where's your license?

(HONKING)

Hey, let go of me, pervert!

Let me go! Put me down!

(THE HUSTLER SCREAMING)

(GASPS)

What is this? What's going on?

Mommy, this man broke in the house and smashed my radio.

He did what?

He smashed my radio! My CB!

Oh! Thank God!

I've been wanting to do that for months.

Now, Damy, get in the house before I kick your butt.

Stop whining.

Oh. Excuse me.

Are we supposed to wait outside for the buses,

or do they announce it on the loudspeaker?

They'll call us. Oh.

Where you heading?

Union.

Oh, you got relatives in Union?

My husband's in Union.

What's he do?

He's a trucker.

I just knew it.

Why do you say that?

Because it takes one to know one.

Oh. You, too, huh?

How long you been together?

10 years.

I been 12.

We must be setting some new kind of record.

(LAUGHING)

Yeah.

I decided long ago that I can't think about it

and worry about it and make my life miserable,

or just not think about it

and hope for the best,

which is what I do.

Anyway, if I did find out that he'd been unfaithful,

I think I could handle it.

Golly, I've read enough of those articles about it in Cosmopolitan.

Huh. Don't let those articles fool you.

It's real hard. I know.

MAN OVER PA: Bus for Union and points west

leaving from dock two in two minutes.

I'll let you in on something.

About two years ago, I found out my husband

indulged with another woman.

Don't ask how I found out. I just did.

Oh. Well, I waited a week for him to get home,

but I kept myself at full boil.

I even sent the girls to my folks

so they wouldn't be there when it happened.

Well, I really let him have it...

Cursing and slugging and crying and throwing things,

just like on TV.

Then I locked myself away for two days,

hoping he'd guilt himself to death.

You know what happened? All of a sudden,

he started being real nice to the girls,

real buddy-buddy, you know?

And then he starts doing the dishes,

things like that. He never did that before.

Then, in the bedroom one night,

all of a sudden, he's by my side,

doing what all us women like

and none of us like to talk about.

Before, I used to have to wait for my birthday.

Well, it wasn't my birthday that night.

And you know something? What?

I didn't have it in me to resist that mother.

I don't have to tell you what that loneliness is like.

No.

(SCOFFS) Next morning...

I hear his truck start up,

and he's gone for another few weeks.

Well, I don't know what to think.

I think about the laundry. Yeah.

I think about making breakfast for the girls.

Mmm.

I think about the plumber coming to fix the bathroom faucets.

I just sort of let the day pull me along.

They've been pulling me along ever since.

Do you still love him?

I figure if I don't ask myself that, I won't get into trouble.

Want to see some pictures of the girls?

Oh, my husband always wanted a girl.

We got three boys.

Mmm.

He wanted to try again, but I said no.

After two breeches and one Cesarean,

the fun's out of it, you know?

I think it's kind of a sore point between us.

Oh, hey...

Oh, they are a couple of cuties. (GIGGLES)

Oh, I'll show you a picture of my boys.

Here.

At their house out there in back.

They look just like you.

(CHUCKLES)

Petey and Stan, those two...

They have their father's eyes and mouth.

Oh, yeah?

(LAUGHS)

Oh, precious.

Did I just give you this picture?

No.

No, this one. Did I?

No.

Are you sure?

Well, sure, I'm sure. That's my husband Harold.

(LAUGHING)

Oh, sweet Jesus.

Huh?

What's wrong?

Lord.

What happened?

Lady, you and I have got us a truckload in common.

(GASPS) Harold!

Operator, try that Dallas number again, will you?

Does this mean we're related?

GRANDMA BREAKER ON RADIO: My father was a doctor.

And he was on the Nez Perce Reservation

and was adopted into the tribe of Nez Perce

with my brother and myself. I was six years old.

Many years later, when I was 14,

we went on Fourth of July to the Cawmill Reservation.

And there was three of us girls there.

And there was a boat on the lake,

and it was locked to the limb of a tree.

And we took a hatchet and cut the limb off,

and slit the lock off and took the boat,

and went up the lake.

Oh, we had a beautiful time.

But when we got back, the Indian police was waiting for us.

And my father was shot by a family who was sick over it.

And about that time...

I got to hand it to you, it works like a charm.

I should've done this long ago.

How's it drive?

Real easy.

God damn it! Push it, Debbie! Huh?

There's something I haven't told you.

Yeah. I'd like a room for tonight, please.

Oh, Connie...

Don't take this personally or anything,

but I really think we ought to get separate rooms.

Oh, really?

I mean, we hardly know each other or anything.

Well, I got a lot to think about, and...

Well, it might look funny to the lawyers later on.

Two singles, please.

Harold, how'd you get yourself into this mess?

You know, sometimes when you've been on the road

for a long, long time,

you forget just how soft a woman really feels.

MAN 1 ON RADIO: Right tire.

Hey, Pop!

He's lost his front right tire.

He's not gonna be able to move very far.

MAN 2: Yeah, okay. Just, uh, if he gets out...

Pop, we only got 15 minutes.

Come on, Pop! What's the matter?

Oh, you've been drinking.

Pop!

(JUMBLED CONVERSATIONS ON RADIO)

Couldn't wait another hour, huh?

Oh...

Pop.

(SOBBING)

(ALL APPLAUDING)

This young man is no stranger to us.

We've honored him before,

and I suspect that we'll honor him again.

Recently, Blayne helped save two lives

while operating an emergency CB react station

at his own volition and expense.

So at this time, it gives me great pleasure

to present this distinguished Citizen's Award

to Blayne Lovejoy.

This award is for bravery,

courage,

and decency.

And we hope that it'll will be a model for all our citizens.

(APPLAUSE)

I'm sorry that your dad was ill tonight

and unable to attend.

Good work, and thank you.

Thank you.

(APPLAUSE)

Hi.

The bus is waiting. I've been looking all over for you.

What's the matter? Is something bothering you?

Oh, I don't know.

I just feel like I've been in one place too long.

It's starting to do strange things to my head.

JANITOR: Good night, Coach.

What is it really?

Well, Blayne came over yesterday.

So?

So nothing. He just came over.

What's that supposed to mean?

It's not supposed to mean anything.

What am I supposed to do? Stand up and salute because Blayne came over?

Listen, all my life, it's been "Blayne this, Blayne that."

I don't want to talk about him anymore.

You're so competitive, Dean.

I'm a woman, not a trophy.

(WHISTLING)

Are you coming?

I just don't feel like another game tonight.

You don't want to come, fine. Stay here.

(WOLF WHISTLE)

Pam.

I didn't mean it. I'm sorry.

Come with me.

We'll talk about it later.

(CHEERING AND SHOUTING)

(CROWD WHISTLING)

CHEERLEADERS: Anson!

Walker!

R-M-N!

CROWD: 10, 9, 8, 7,

6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

(ALL CHEERING)

Hi. Blayne.

Wait. Pam. I want to talk to you.

Isn't it a little late?

Yes, I know it is, but this is really important.

Can't it wait till tomorrow?

No, not really.

Good night. Bye. Bye-bye.

Bye-bye. Bye.

Bye. Good night.

Homework!

(GIRLS GROANING)

I'm leaving the farm.

I'm going to leave Pop all to himself.

What?

How'd you tell him?

Oh, I didn't tell him yet.

Ah, well, here we go again.

No, come on. I'm going to tell him Friday

after his birthday party.

Want to come to his party?

No. I got plans.

Anyway, I thought you said he was sick and getting senile,

so how can you leave him?

Well, he gets senile like people catch colds.

You know, he had a bad one last month,

but he's all right now.

How about coming out to dinner tomorrow night?

I don't know.

Pam, this was the big problem between us, wasn't it,

that I wouldn't leave the farm?

Yeah, but that was three months ago,

and things have changed... You still have my ring.

Blayne...

Now, look, excuse me for saying so,

but I probably know you a lot better than anybody.

And if things have changed as much as you say they have,

you'd probably be a whole lot happier than you are now,

but you don't seem to be very happy.

So, well, look here, things must not have changed very much.

Huh? I mean, tell me, am I wrong?

Go ahead and tell me. Am I wrong?

No... You're not wrong.

Hi. Hi, Coach.

Vicky, have you seen Miss Armbruster?

Yeah, she's in the equipment room.

Great. Thanks a lot.

Boy, is he ever psycho.

Wait a minute.

I have to go. I've got to go.

What about tomorrow night?

Sure.

THE RED BARON ON RADIO: Yeah, you got to admit old Hitler was right.

He was a good old boy.

Oil and water don't mix, that's for pea-pickin' sure.

Maybe this whole country ain't pure yet.

Cochise, my man, you're looking at 2,000 watts of pure radio power.

1,996 of them are illegal.

So any of you pea-pickers want in here,

you just ask me.

And if I like the sound of your voice or the color of it...

I might just let you in.

How can such a small mind have such a big antenna?

I tell you what, I got to run to the little boys' room.

So if you're good, I'll let you have it till I get back.

How's that?

Otherwise, you can go back to Moscow or Africa

or wherever you belong.

That's for pea-pickin' sure.

This is at One Red Baron down.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Hi.

Good evening. I'm Mr. Cole

from the Federal Communications Commission.

We've had some complaints

about your use of the Citizen's Band radio.

Illegal power, illegal antenna...

What is this, communism right here?

(DOOR SLAMS)

This is going to be more difficult than I thought.

Turn around real slow, pea-picker.

You're the biggest pea-pickin' commie I ever saw.

Spider?

Spider?

What's that, some kind of code?

Spider?

(YELLING)

(GRUNTING)

(YELLING)

Run for it!

(TIRES SCREECHING)

That pea-picker's going to pay!

It worked! (LAUGHING)

Oh, Spider... Wow.

I'm afraid I can't handle this anymore.

Hey, Pop, don't forget about our guest today.

I'm leaving Ned here till supper.

I got too many errands to run.

Then the dog dies.

Do whatever you want. I'm leaving him here.

(JUMBLED CONVERSATIONS ON RADIO)

(STATIC)

MAN: The way I figure it, Papa, 27, 26 hours from now,

I'll be staring down that Canadian border

like it was the end of the rainbow.

Mercy, that Canada's pretty country.

All them cows.

Mercy sakes, I've never seen such beauty at one place.

Hey, Good Buddy.

Maybe someday we'll meet there,

have a doggone good time. How about that?

Mercy.

Gracious.

I'm buying.

I can't let you do that.

Sugar, I'm putting this on Harold's bank card.

This one's on him.

Well, all right.

Honey, is this Lobster Cantonese

the most expensive thing on the menu?

Yes.

It's only $6.95. There must be some mistake.

And I'd like to see the wine list.

Listen, I think we should be very careful

what we say to each other.

Oh?

Because there might be litigation.

If there's litigation,

you're not supposed to talk about anything.

Oh.

Can I ask you something?

You think it's safe?

Why did you come here?

He called, said his truck broke down.

I didn't believe him.

I thought he was hurt.

I thought he might need me.

Do you think there are others besides just us?

I don't see how. When the man has a heart murmur,

he can only do so much.

He does?

Well, I didn't know that.

Born with it.

What kind of a ceremony did you have?

High Episcopal.

We had Methodist.

You're Methodist, huh?

No.

No, I'm Catholic.

He wanted it Methodist.

He did?

That's the way we're raising the little ones.

You are?

Connie, am I that other woman that you found out about?

I don't know.

Well, then we don't actually know for sure

that he's been unfaithful...

Technically speaking.

Let me sit on that one for a while.

Which one do you like?

I don't care.

Well, I'm asking your opinion.

I don't care. It's your part, you choose.

It's not my party, it's our party now.

Which one do you like best?

The white one.

Okay, the white one. Great, we'll have the white one

with the red trim, but no flowers.

How's that? Fine.

And we want it to say, "Happy birthday, Pop."

I never called him "Pop." What do you want?

I don't want anything. I just never called him "Pop," that's all.

Uh, make it, "Happy birthday, Dad."

Never called him "Dad" either.

What do you want? "Happy birthday, shithead?"

They won't do that.

"Dad" is fine.

And we'd like some little trucks. You got some little trucks?

Like, some trucks that are going down the highway.

Can you do a highway that's in perspective with a broken white line?

Little trucks on a highway and with a broken white line

and some cows. He likes cows.

Just, you know, few cows along the side.

But no flowers, 'cause...

You don't eat the flowers. You just throw them away.

Uh, 10-4 there, Priest. This is the Spider.

How about giving us your call letters?

10-4, Spider. That's G-O-D.

Uh, that's real clever there, Priest.

Uh...how about a license? You got one of those?

I've got more than a license. I've got the word.

That's real good, but you happen to be in violation of FCC regulations.

And you're also pushing illegal power, come on.

The power of the Lord knows no bounds.

Do you believe in G-O-D, Spider?

Uh, well, maybe we do, but what's that got do with anything?

Because maybe I don't believe in FCC.

Clever. That's real clever.

Now, who gave us airwaves in the first place?

I mean, isn't He entitled to at least one channel?

Hey, who are you anyway?

The Priest.

Yeah, we know your handle. Mine's Spider.

It doesn't mean I'm a real spider now, does it?

(LAUGHING) It's all the same in the eyes of the Lord.

Spider, man, pinhead.

Hey, give us a break, will you, Priest?

Just give us a break.

who would interfere with the word of the Lord,

but he's pushing a lot of watts.

Brethren, don't even try.

(ORGAN MUSIC PLAYING SOFTLY)

Yes?

Yes?

Uh...forgive me, Father,

for I have sinned.

How long has it been since your last confession?

Twelve years.

Twelve years?

That's an awfully long time.

Yes, Father.

What are your sins?

Um...

I've had bad thoughts against my father.

What kind of thoughts?

I don't know.

Do you wish him harm?

No. Uh, I wish to kill him.

You've sinned against the fourth commandment.

You must fight against these thoughts.

Yes, Father.

Have you any other sins to confess?

No, Father.

You sound like a young man.

You have nothing else to confess?

No, Father.

Hard to believe.

Let's say, uh...

Ten Hail Marys, ten Our Fathers.

And make a good act of contrition.

Oh, my Father, I am h-heartily sorry

for having offended thee, and...

I firmly resolve to sin no more.

That's a big roger 10-4. Spider, we gone.

Hey!

(SLURRED) Now, wait.

Fir... Oop.

First, he would take off his clothes.

Then he would kiss you.

Then he would sit on the bed.

No, no, no, no.

No. First he'd take off my clothes,

and then he'd kiss me.

Uh-huh...

And then he'd take off his shorts.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

And then he'd kiss me again,

and then he'd sit on the bed.

And then what?

And then... Oop. Sorry.

And then he'd say, "Oh, babes,

"sometimes I been on the road so long,

"I forget just how soft...

BOTH: "...a woman really is."

(LAUGHING)

Harold, Harold.

Oh!

What are we gonna do?

Find him, break his balls and divorce him.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

I'm not sure. I have to tell him when it's...

When he's feeling good.

Oh, God.

Hello, Mr. Lovejoy.

Hi, Pop.

How are you? Good.

Remember me? Pam?

Sure. Heard your voice somewhere, too.

Mmm-mmm, boy! This looks great.

Yeah, smells real good, Pop.

Mmm-hmm.

Well, shall we?

Yeah. Okay.

Hey, Pop, I didn't even know we had any meat in the house.

Did you go shopping or somethin'?

No.

Mmm.

Great. Mmm.

(WHISPERING) Don't eat it.

It tastes like horse meat.

Dog meat.

Huh?

You said horse meat.

Yeah.

It's dog meat.

Ooh.

Pop, where's Ned?

(SHOUTING) Pop, where's Ned?

Oh, my God.

Ned.

Oh, my God.

Ned!

Ned.

Come on, Ned, where are you?

Ned?

Ned, Ned, Ned. Come on.

(CHORTLING)

It's a little tough.

I don't think you simmered him long enough.

You see how I live?

In a junkyard.

I know that.

Worked all my life.

Trucker.

Now they call me Papa Thermodyne,

but I live in a junkyard.

This country promises everything.

Sure.

You never see...

You ever seen any of it, huh?

I should have stayed in Canada.

Big deal.

Missis wanted them raised Americans.

Could have had a cattle ranch there.

Wasn't for him,

I could have had cattle,

I could have been someone.

See what I got?

A lot of rusty doo-doos.

You look smart.

If you're smart, you'll go to Canada.

Got to go through the woods.

I'd go.

I got to stay for him.

Well, I always thought it was the other way around.

Yeah, I guess the boys must feel the same way about it.

It's mighty hard for a man without a woman.

He did it.

He really did it.

How you doing, moose breath?

Thing about Pop is he really enjoys a joke.

You know, I mean, of course he likes it when you play along with him

like I did.

That's why I went out in the back like that.

Yeah, he sure gets a kick out of it.

That's just great.

BLOOD: I'm looking for that Spider.

Go.

You want some advice, Spider?

Stay on that garbage dump of yours

if you know what's good for you.

Who is this?

You just might get your britches dusted

and your lights punched out.

Yeah, you're really scaring me there.

Uh, who is this?

We know who you are,

where you are, and how to get you.

Listen, hotshot, you got a handle?

They call me Blood,

and we just might spill yours

all over the sidewalk.

Yeah, well, it's been real nice talking to you, Blood.

Say hello to all your idiot friends,

and I'm just going to go 10-7.

Yeah, well, you just better... (CLICKS)

(SIGHS) I always loved this truck.

(MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ON RADIO)

Come on, Rupert. Come on.

Come on, move it.

Come... Come on.

Let's get out of here.

(MOOING)

I want him out of here.

I want him and his bullshit truck out of here today.

Read it again.

"Dear Connie and Joyce,

"by now you must know.

"I'm not proud of what I've done,

"but I'm not sorry about it either.

"Whatever happens, I'll always love you

and be proud to be your husbands."

Husbands.

"Maybe we should talk about this.

"I'm in the green-and-white striped camper outside.

"Sincerely, Harold.

"P.S. That was a mean thing

"letting my cattle loose like that.

"I suppose now we're even."

That's what I thought he said.

Uh...just come right on in, ladies.

Harold's at the dinette.

Uh, come on in.

Harold, Connie and Joyce are here.

Connie.

Hi, Joyce.

How about this?

Sheesh.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Oh, I'm just a friend.

Uh, Debbie, this is, uh, Joyce Risley

and Connie, uh... Connie.

Connie. Come on, sit down, sit down.

Sit down.

Have a seat.

(COUGHS)

How's the kids?

(SOBBING)

Here, Joyce. I'm sorry.

Not one of the best things you could have said.

Not by a long shot.

I'm really sorry. I really am.

Before y'all start,

would anyone like coffee?

I just put on some Vienna roast.

That'd be just fine.

Yes, please.

Coffee all around, Debbie.

We got a very serious problem here.

Basically, I think we got a communications problem.

How about that coffee, Debbie?

Coming up.

MAN ON RADIO: She was completely naked, by golly,

in her high-heeled patent-leather sandals

and her black nylon stockings

rolled down flat above her knees.

BLOOD: Looking for that Spider. You out there tonight?

What about it, Spider?

Come on, Spider.

Come on, Spider.

You got the Spider. Go ahead.

You got a gun, Spider?

Who's this? Blood?

We got guns, lots of them,

all sizes.

I'm real glad for you there, Blood.

Pop. Uh, listen,

I'll be back in about half an hour.

Dean's gonna be here in a few minutes.

Don't get drunk.

We'll mess you up, Spider.

I hope you're copying this real good, Spider,

because this is important.

We know who you are

and where you are,

and we know how to get you.

You've done your business.

Now it's time to pay the devil.

Spider, you're about to receive the best piece of advice you've ever had,

so listen close.

I'd leave Union if I were you.

Better yet, leave the state.

Uh, Blood...

Blood, I'm having trouble reading you.

Try turning down your music.

Spider, you ain't shit. How about that?

Yeah, well, 10-4. That's real interesting.

Why do you say that? Come back.

You've been interfering with a lot of people's lives.

And a lot of people don't like it.

What people, Blood? Be a little more specific.

Blood, come on back. Where are you?

It's open.

What is this?

What is it?

What, you can't face your own brother?

I think I can tell you what this is.

This is a whole of of horseshit.

Huh? Is that what it is? A whole lot of horseshit?

Dean... Excuse me, Dean. I'm over here.

Why are you looking at your old trophies for, Dean?

I'm right here.

You got something to say to me?

You had a heck of a lot to say on the radio.

"We know where you are. We know who you are."

Shit! Now I know who you are and where you are.

Big deal. We're even.

Dean.

Dean, will you do me a favor, huh?

Will you look at me? Look at me!

You had lots to say on the radio.

You got something to say to me, you say it to my face.

You... What? You want...

You want to take a punch at me? Take a punch at me.

You want to take a shot at me?

Take a shot at me.

Come on.

Go ahead.

Go ahead!

(SOBBING)

I'm sorry.

It's all... It's all right.

It's... It's all right? It's all right?

¶ You are so beautiful

¶ To me

¶ Can't you see? ¶

(TURNS OFF RADIO)

Uh, looking for that Electra.

This here's the Warlock. Looking for that Electra one time.

Come on.

This is Electra, Warlock.

How are you?

Sort of down.

I've been going through some heavy things.

Me too, Warlock.

Maybe we can help each other, huh?

(LAUGHS)

Help you?

You can't be as hard up as I am.

You must have...

Well, like, a boyfriend.

Warlock, I have two boyfriends,

but I can't talk to them like I can talk to you.

You know, like,

sexy and dreamy and tenderly and...

Anyway, why don't you undo a few buttons?

10-4.

Uh...say, uh,

what do you have on?

Something transparent?

No. Guess again.

A towel.

Guess again.

I give up.

All I have on...

is my radio.

Oh, wow.

Your radio.

(PANTING)

Oh. Thanks a lot.

Debbie, that was really good coffee.

Could I have some more, please?

Sure. Pizza.

Where were we?

You said that we should think about what's best for the children.

I said, "What's that?"

And you said you didn't know.

Shut up!

You gotta be patient with each other.

Now, look, I don't want to go

butting into anybody else's business,

but I've been sitting here

listening to y'all talking about breaking up

and who gets what and so on,

and, well, I'd just like to say something.

You know, I figure

that you all wouldn't be sitting here talking like this

if you all didn't really care about each other.

Look, now you two just met,

and already you seem to get along just fine.

So I'm thinking, how about, you know,

thinking about staying together?

Now, I don't mean in the same house or nothing,

but a duplex doesn't seem like such a bad idea.

Now, that's all I got to say.

A duplex?

Oh.

No way.

Out of the question.

No!

I didn't think it was such a bad idea myself.

ELECTRA: Oh, you beast, you animal.

Pam? You're driving me crazy.

Blayne?

Stand by, Warlock.

Stand by?

Blayne?

Yeah. What a surprise.

Stand by?

Why don't you go in and grab yourself a beer and...

Oh, no! Not now!

Electra!

WOMAN: You tell all your boyfriends to stand by?

I can't believe you.

You said to use it. You said to have a good time.

You said to have fun with it. Why'd you do it?

Electra!

I was just sitting here. I was in the kitchen

and I was making a peanut butter- mustard-pickle sandwich,

and this guy Warlock called me...

No, I'm not talking about that!

I'm not talking about that!

Will you hold on a minute? Electra!

You don't mean Electra?

Yeah... No, I don't mean...

No. I'm talking about Blood.

Blood? What blood?

Blood... You're sleeping with Blood.

You're crazy.

I'm not crazy.

Everybody in this town

is somebody they're not supposed to be. They're all...

You mean Dean?

Well, that was just talk.

He said it was more than talk.

Well, he...

He's a friend.

Yeah? He said you were more than a friend.

Well, that's true.

So, what about it? You meant it?

No. I don't know.

Oh, now you don't mean it.

No. Why didn't you tell me?

You know, you could have told me this.

Well, you're impossible to talk you.

I thought I knew you.

Now, this with my bro...

And this with the radio...

Well, if you weren't out all the time playing FBI

and saving lives... saving lives... FCC.

FBI or whatever...

(WINDOW SLIDES)

Blayne.

I never want to see you again.

Do you hear me? Never!

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)

Okay.

Here's the... the deal.

We'll try it,

but only on a 30-day trial basis.

If it doesn't work out, then that's it.

Agreed.

Where?

Uh, well... Well...

What's wrong with Dallas?

Oh, uh, no.

I just... I just don't feel right about Dallas, not since '63.

Oh, yeah, I know what you mean.

What about Union? Union.

Yeah, I've lived here forever.

I mean, no one's ever bothered me.

Why yank all the kids out of school?

I mean, well, me and the boys could just move up to Portland.

Portland?

But there ain't... it's just...

I, uh... Harold...

It... I'll be just...

(STAMMERING)

Oh, well, all right.

But just for a 30-day trial.

Great. Well.

Great, just great.

Let's get some sleep.

Let me give you a hand. Thank you, Debbie.

Debbie, could I help you with the dishes?

Oh, no, no. It's nothing.

Well, listen, uh...

Uh, thanks. Um...

For everything. You're welcome.

I want you to write and let me know how it comes out

'cause I'll be thinking about y'all.

Thank you very much. Oh, you're welcome.

If you're ever in Portland, Debbie, give us a shout,

if you come through there. Oh, I will.

It's been real nice to meet you.

You just take care. Okay, now, bye.

Bye. Bye.

JOYCE: Come on, Harold. Coming.

Bye, honey.

(SIGHS)

Hey, Pop.

I'm sorry I'm late, Pop. Come on, wake up.

Want some cake, pop?

(CHANNEL SELECTOR CLICKS)

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ON RADIO)

Hey, how about it there, Papa Thermodyne?

Got your ears on tonight? Come on, Papa.

Mercy, this is Papa Thermodyne.

You got one hell of a copy.

Mercy, come on, what's that handle?

It's me, Pop... Spider. Happy birthday.

Well, break. Come on.

¶ Happy birthday to you

¶ Happy birthday to you

¶ Happy birthday, dear Papa Thermodyne

¶ Happy birthday to you ¶

There you go, Pop.

Cake.

I know you wanted some of the other guys to be here, Pop,

but, uh, you know...

Roy's up in Alaska,

Dean wanted to come tonight, he really did,

but he's not feeling too good.

So that just leaves you and me.

Because I want to talk to you a little bit before I go away.

Don't get nervous, Pop.

I'm gonna make sure everything's taken care of.

And you're gonna have everything you need.

Dean's gonna be coming by every once in a while to check up on you

and spend some time with you.

It's just that, you know, I...

I have to make something out of myself, Pop.

I got to go out there and do something with my life.

Maybe if I do, you'll think all the more of me.

'Cause I know I haven't been everything you wanted me to be.

Of course, you haven't been everything

I wanted you to be either, Pop.

But, anyway, wherever I am, whatever I'm doing,

I'll be thinking about you.

And if somebody says something bad about you,

if some trucker says, "Oh, yeah, that Floyd Lovejoy,

"sure, he's some old so-and-so,"

I'll start swinging, Pop.

I'll stand up for you. I'll fight him.

'Cause that's the way I feel, you know.

Hey, I love you.

Look, Pop, you better blow out your candles.

They're going to be melting all the way down.

Now, come on, make a wish, okay? And, uh...

Come on, Papa Thermodyne, blow out your candles.

I'll help you out, okay?

Ready?

One, two, three...

I hope your wish comes true.

Okay.

Bye-bye, huh? Bye-bye, who?

(GRUMBLING)

MAN ON RADIO: Breaker, uh, Union React for a 10-33.

This is the KTEL-5986.

We have a man lost in a storm

in the Sutter Woods vicinity.

All searchers meet at the Fire Road immediately.

Mercy sakes. This is Casey at 33-13.

Can you give me a better description of that man.

Come back.

Yeah. Uh, we have a, uh...

About a 5'8", 150-pound man

about 65 years old.

Probably wearing a dark coat,

a cowboy hat,

and he is carrying a suitcase

when last seen.

Pam.

You say he was wearing a cowboy hat? Hello.

Hello, Dean. I heard about Floyd.

Come on. We got to get going.

Mercy sakes. He's doing wackety-back...

We're eastbound on that Fire Road right now.

Catch you in a short-short.

He's working 9 and 15 little more before coming over.

Where are you gonna set up? Start of the Fire Road.

Yeah, that's good.

How will we find him?

Oh. Uh, Dean found some tracks.

Here we go.

WOMAN ON RADIO: This is Alert Team 2, KWC-3784.

We've got negative contact with missing person

at the Fire Road. Returning east.

KWC-3784. I'm clear.

Dean, I just wanted to tell you how much I...

It's okay. Don't worry about it.

Hey! Pop?

Oh...

Come on, come on. Let's go.

We came to help. What can we do?

Thank you very much. Take it up to the Frontage Road.

Put a monitor in 12.

This puts me in mind of the summer rains in '36

when the three Wilson kids got lost.

Frontage road. Got it on 12.

You got it, buddy. Thanks.

Howdy.

Any luck? No, not yet.

We'd like to help.

Thank you very much. We could use some more help up on Frontage Road.

We're on 12.

Has anybody reported any loose cattle?

Cattle? Not that I know of. Yeah. Oh.

Hey, Cochise, Frontage Road...12.

Dean? Pam.

I'm going out to look, okay?

Okay. Thanks a lot. We'll find him.

You bet.

Floyd!

Floyd! Floyd!

(YELLING INDISTINCTLY)

Come on!

Hurry up, Mom.

Get word? Yeah. Somebody found a suitcase.

This way.

Somebody found a suitcase.

Hey!

Pop?

Pop!

Are you Floyd?

How the hell are we supposed to find him

if we don't know what he looks like?

Damn. This coffee's good.

'Course, it isn't so good in the Styrofoam,

but I ran out of cups on account of the emergency.

Can I have a cup, too? Well, sure, darlin'. Just take one.

MAN: Floyd!

Floyd! Come out!

Floyd, come on out!

Floyd, if you can hear us, give us a sign.

Floyd!

Floyd!

Come on, Ned. That's a good boy.

Come on. Go get Floyd.

Find Floyd!

Sniff him out. Sniff him out, boy.

Come on, boy, take us to Floyd.

Come on, boy, let's go, let's go.

SMILIN' JACK ON RADIO: Mobile to base.

Mobile to base, this is Smilin' Jack.

We found Floyd.

They found Floyd.

Hey, Dean, we found Floyd.

Bainbridge Creek, about a half mile north of the old Farm Road.

Thank you, G-O-D.

10-4, 10-4, 10-4.

Who is that masked man?

Ya-hoo!

Ride 'em, cowboy! Whoo!

Down there.

They better be all there. Count them.

Floyd Lovejoy, what are you doing down there, you rascal?

I haven't saw you in years.

(ALL CHEERING)

You people are getting on my nerves.

You're nothing but a bunch of pea-pickin' commies.

You're crazy! You ought to be committed, all of you!

THE PRIEST: We sure thank the Good Shepherd

for returning the sheep back to the fold and we praise you.

Come on!

(EXCLAIMING)

There are a lot of voices out there,

but yours is different.

I like it.

THE PRIEST: In the name of the Father, the Son,

and of the Holy Spirit, come on!

Amen!

Amen.

Spider and Electra,

have you come here freely without reservation,

to give yourselves to each other in holy marriage?

I have.

I have.

May the Lord in his infinite goodness

strengthen your consent

and fill you both with his blessings.

What God has joined together

man must not divide.

Now is that a 4?

SPIDER: That's a 4.

ELECTRA: That's a big 4.

That's The Priest.

Spider and Electra,

may I wish you many happy years together.

and I know you happen to be two good kids,

and blessings from above.

(CATTLE MOOING)

(HORN HONKING)

HOT COFFEE: Gracious. Come on back with that handle.

Uh, ahem. This is the Warlock.

Mercy, Warlock.

Well, just hang right on to my donkey.

Hey, 3s and 8s to you.

Have a good one today and a better one tomorrow, Lord willing.

We definitely down. We definitely out.

We gone.

¶ Well, it was hardest when the sun went down

¶ The clock and crickets were the only sound

¶ If I was frightened, well, it never showed

¶ I was too lonely to end that low

¶ And then a friendly voice with no name came

¶ Told me her feelings were just the same

¶ Soon there was more tonight than lonely screams

¶ Now there was moonlight and moonlight dreams

¶ You

¶ You heard the song, you heard the song

¶ Of my lost and scattered soul

¶ You

¶ You gave me love, you gave me love

¶ And you made my spirit whole

¶ Now I've been carried from the deep below

¶ Up to the heavens' silver star-filled show

¶ You gave my body wings and made it free

¶ Long as I hold you, there's no holding me

¶ You

¶ You heard the song, you heard the song

¶ Of my lost and scattered soul

¶ You

¶ You gave me love, you gave me love

¶ And you made my spirit whole

¶ Hear my song ¶