All language subtitles for 1670.S01E06.1080p.WEB.h264-EDITH

Every now and again,
my nobleman buddies come visit

to compare how well-hung we are.

Almost nothing is as crucial
to a Sarmatian's self-esteem

as how well-hung he is.

Oh, no. It...
it was longer back home. I swear.

Being well-hung is a direct extension
of a Sarmatian's honor.

Listen, they look fairly equal to me.

Well, never mind, then.

So how about some dinner?

Actually,
I think Andrzej's is longer.

Excuse me?

Andrzej's has a bigger knob,

while Jan Paweł's entire length is just
from some dangling threads.

Quite flimsy threads, I dare say.

Jeremi, watch your tongue.
That's my swag you're talking about.

Jan Paweł, if you can't take
a little constructive criticism,

you shouldn't have displayed your swag
for everyone to publicly assess.

I have no issue
with publicly displaying my swag,

but your cousin has used hate speech
while assessing it.

I'm just saying
that your dangling thread isn't very long.

- Slander!
- Slander!

- Slander!
- That's enough!

This insult will require...

complete eradication...

...with swift violence.

Well said, Jan Paweł.

Jeremi, I challenge you to a duel.

I accept.

Oh.

We'd all be better off
if men didn't compare their knobs.

I just couldn't stop yelling at her.

Tsk, tsk.

We haven't been getting along
at all lately, Father,

and I just don't know what I should do...

Oh. Did I tell you the news?
That I'm gonna be my father's heir?

Yes.

That's actually the third time
you've interrupted me to tell me that.

Well, all you're doing is
talking about yourself.

But I'm...

Uh, I'm here to confess to you.

Uh-huh. That's fine.

Your penance will be
that you must tell everyone you know

that my father has decided
to make me his heir.

If you don't make time
for your children when they're young,

you can't count on them
to make time for you when you're older.

Pretty profound, isn't it?

So I'm looking forward to some
quality father-son time with Jakub,

as he watches me split Jeremi's head
in half during the duel.

Dad?

You're not planning a duel
with anyone, right?

'Cause the whole village
is talking about some duel.

Anielka, I had to. He slandered me.

- He slandered him.
- So?

So I have to prove
to Andrzej's cousin that he was wrong.

Killing him isn't proving him wrong.

What other way is there?

Don't you see that you're perpetuating
toxic behaviors and stereotypes

that keep repeating themselves
through generations of men?

You suffer from chronic stress,

unable to build healthy relationships
with other men

because you hide your emotions

under the guise of pride
and male posturing.

Anielka,

your braid is lovely.

Sorry?

You were just prattling on, and,
at one point, I thought to myself,

- "God, she's been talking for so long."
- I know, right?

So I said to myself,

"Make sure you keep looking
at her head area,

or she'll realize
you're not listening to her." And then...

that's when I noticed your braid.
It's really beautiful, darling.

Yeah. Nice work, Aniela.

I don't have time
for my father's shenanigans.

I'm conducting an investigation of my mom.

She's been acting pretty weird these days.

Hello, girls. How's your day going?

- It's good.
- Oh. That's great.

Mm.

I mean, she hasn't been acting weird,

and that's what's weird.

She's been secretly
corresponding with someone.

And it all started
when those townspeople came to visit.

I'm starting to suspect that my mom...

- Ryczyński.
- Adamczewska.

...is having an affair with Ciesław.

I've been pondering what I'll say
when I'm standing over Jeremi's corpse.

I was thinking something like,

"You shouldn't have insulted me."

Cool. That's very cool.

I was also thinking, maybe,
something that rhymes to lighten the mood.

Like, I'll cut off his head,
and then I'll say,

"Hey, Fred, where's your head?"

But his name is Jeremi, so I don't know...

Ha!

Look at him go, Dad.

My dad rules!

So flail as much as you want!
My dad's gonna end you, Fred!

His name is not Fred!

So? Who cares?

I've been visualizing our duel all day.
And I'm not gonna lie...

I win every time.

What do you think of that, eh?

I suppose the good news is
there's room for improvement.

Good enough to take Jeremi down?

Jeremi?

Do you mean "Sudden Death" Jeremi?

I don't know. That tiny guy.

Andrzej's cousin. The shrimp.

That's "Sudden Death."

What's with the nickname? Were there a lot
of sudden deaths in his family?

Sudden Death

is the fourth-best swordsman
in our region.

He's won at least seven recent duels,
that I've heard of.

What possessed you
to agree to a duel with Sudden Death?

Jeremi.

Can we just call him Jeremi
for now, all right?

All right.

But now I'm starting to wonder if maybe...

Jeremi is visualizing a different outcome.

Um...

Jakub, have you seen Mom?

Uh, she's not lying prostrate
in the drawing room?

No.

Is she lying prostrate in her bedroom?

No.

No clue, then.

What does my mom need
a dress like that for?

It's not a church dress, right?

Marianka! Is the carriage ready?

Things aren't looking that great
right now.

However, Jan Paweł
couldn't have chosen a better trainer.

Attack the sack!

I'm a battle-hardened fellow.

I'm a veteran of many Polish wars.

Now, attack the sack in the fog!

Again! Well done! Duck!

Come on! Come on!

All the battles went
pretty much the same way.

The opening fight...

Now go higher!

The definitive fight...

And the fight for honor.

Bogdan, you're napping,
and the duel is in just a few hours.

I'm not napping, Jan Paweł.

This is a tactical maneuver.

I deployed it in the Battle of Mątwy.

It's called "Playing Dead."

Once you've mastered this part,
feel free to add some convulsions to it.

Oh, and no talking.

Dead people don't talk.

Bogdan, I'm not going to play dead.

- Besides, only an idiot would fall for...
- Oh, no. Is Uncle dead?

I'd better check if he had any coins,
so the peasants don't steal them.

I still got it!

First of all, I just wanted to thank you
for giving me a chance.

This is my first conspiracy, you see, and...

I'm grateful to be going
on this journey together.

Wait, so you also wanna escape
from the village?

What? No.

I don't want to be hanged. I...
I... I meant it metaphorically.

The punishment for escaping is hanging?

- I mean, if they catch you.
- Well, is there a chance that they won't?

Hey, Lithuanian!

Did you touch my pile of breadcrumbs?
They were right here.

Wait a sec.

A peasant and a Jew in the same room?

You must be plotting.

Uh, no. Not at all.
That's just pure antisemitism, you know.

Thank you.

Uh, and anti...

Is there a word for
prejudice against peasants?

There is. Patriotism.

Be careful. I'm watching the both of you.

I knew it! My face is too revealing.

I'm a shitty plotter!
I shouldn't be doing any plotting.

- I should be minding chickens!
- Hey. Hey. Hey. Izaak, whoa.

We were talking about my chances.

Your chances?

Well, you do have a chance.

But the question is,
have you already made up your mind?

And are you truly ready to abandon
everything and everyone you know?

Aniela.

- Aniela, do you have a sec?
- I don't.

And even if I did,
I still wouldn't have a second for you.

Aniela?

It's important.

It isn't to me.

- The cormorant is leaving the nest.
- Oh, do you enjoy birding?

No.

The cormorant
is leaving the nest.

Hang on.

You're not talking about...

the cormorant.

Wait, am I the cormorant?

Am I failing my... my community?
Do I have to leave?

No.

It's me. I'm the cormorant.

Right!

So let's go see...

another cormorant...
who can help take care of this.

Uh, Stasia, Maciej needs
to get to Gaworki village.

What? Who?

This lady's the smuggler?

A varmint!

Oh. No, no.
No, no, no, no, no. He's not a varmint.

- She has a thing about varmints.
- Mm.

Maciej's a handsome bachelor.

Yes. Handsome.

So what do you want?

You hungry?

No.

- He wants to escape from the estate.
- Run away? Oh my God!

Save us, Almighty God!

- Oh my beloved Mary! Oh my God!
- Oh, no. I'm so sorry, ma'am.

My intention wasn't
to stress you out like this.

- I'm very sorry.
- It's all right.

- Stasia is a professional mourner.
- That's right. Go on.

So, Mrs. Stasia.

In Gaworki, a touring theater troupe
is waiting for me.

Jesus, no! Oh, Mary!

Oh, Holy Mother above!

- Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God...
- No. I can't do this.

I feel like
I'm just a disappointment to her.

- Hey. Stasia.
- Sure, sure. Stasia, Stasia!

It's always Stasia!

That's a lot of pressure, you know!
And what do I get, huh?

But I'll be fine.

- Say something! She's freaking out.
- Okay.

Hey,
you know this plan of yours won't work.

Oh, my sweet Mother of God.

Oh God. Oh my God.

Halt!

Whoa.

Who are you?

An old woman with her grandson's corpse.

Which grandson is that?

Which grandson?

Um, well...

Well, you know...

- He was a normal grandson.
- You'll have to be more specific.

He was very nice
and very handsome.

Nice and handsome?

- Right. I remember a guy like that.
- Mm.

All right. You may go.

Oh, my beloved grandson!

Oh, my sunshine...

Holy Mother of God!

She has really bad luck
with her grandsons.

Andrzej, uh...

Due to my fondness for you...

...I've decided
to forgive your cousin Jeremi.

You forgive him?

If your cousin's willing
to apologize to me,

then I'm prepared
to forget about the duel.

I've got nothing to apologize for.

You wouldn't have to kneel down,
although that would be a nice touch.

I'm not apologizing.

Andrzej,

I'm going to count down from three,

and that's gonna be
your cousin's last chance.

- Three...
- Three...

- Two...
- Two...

What'd you say?

I said nothing.

I could've sworn
I heard you say, "I'm sorry."

- You didn't?
- No.

How do you say it anyway?
"I'm sorry" or "I'm sahrrey"?

I know you wanna trick me into saying it.

Six...

- Five...
- Five...

I've been dealing with
this little problem for a while.

And it finally looks like today
the little problem will work itself out.

Cieslaw's carriage is over there.

Unbelievable.

My whole life she's been telling me,
"Anielka, there's only one way to behave."

"Your choices are unbecoming for a lady."

We'll see who's unbecoming
once I catch her red-handed.

Boy, will she get an earful.

Hey!

- Where did you get that dress?
- Lady Zofia gave it to me.

Wh... what do you mean, she gave it to you?

Every week, she brings us gifts.

Maybe you'll get something too.

Hang on. What is this place exactly?

It's a shelter for single mothers.

Well, what can I say?

I'm not proud of myself.

I suspected my mother of the worst things.

Only it turns out
she's been secretly coming to this shelter

for single mothers
to support those who are in need.

Her and Rozalia.

Two exemplary wives and mothers...

...who, despite everyday hardships,
can still find the time to help others.

I suppose all I can do
is wear sackcloth and ashes

and concede that my mother meets
the rigorous moral standards

she insists on setting so high.

Case closed.

Now, let your seconds come forward,
and they will select your weapons.

You see that, Dad? Nobles are showing up
from all around to watch your triumph.

It's a good day to die.

Good to see you.
You look healthy!

Mm. You must choose between using a saber

or a flail.

God, honor, and homeland.

The three most common causes of death
among Polish nobles.

Just recently,
honor has become the most popular,

which is why we've introduced the option
to use flails in the duels.

Otherwise, there'd be a lot more killing.

Ah, what would become of poor Poland

without its nobility?

Andrzej, which weapon
has Jeremi decided to use?

Since we'd like this duel
to provide the satisfaction

Jan Paweł so desires,
we're choosing the saber.

Jakub?

We're also choosing the saber.
Hallelujah!

Jan Paweł,
do you have something you want to say?

No. Not at all.

- Therefore, Jakub...
- Wait a minute.

Saber...

The flail?

Or an axe?
Is it possible to choose an axe?

Yes, but axes will pose a much higher risk
of inevitable death.

Oh, excellent. Axes for us.

Your call.

Axes it is.

Stasia?

From Adamczycha?

- Who's that?
- Aniela Adamczewska.

The lord's daughter?
You look beautiful.

No, my hair's a mess today.
Thank you for the compliment.

What are you doing here alone?

- You shouldn't be here alone.
- I know, Stasia.

I don't know.
My head's been all over the place.

I thought that my mom
might be having an affair.

Oh, Jesus! Oh, Jesus!

- My God. Oh, that's awful. Oh my God.
- I know.

I thought she was acting weird,
but the weird one was me.

And the worst part is,
it's because of a guy.

Holy Mother of God!
Is he nice? Handsome?

Is he single? Mm.

Handsome, yes.

- But not very nice.
- Ay, ay, ay, ay.

- So he's a varmint, then?
- He sure is.

And we don't have the same social status.
He's a peasant.

Oh my God Almighty!
Oh, my holy...

I know, Stasia. But what can I do?

The heart wants what it wants.

Oh, Stasia, thank you.

You really are such a good listener.

Oh, go.

When Father started coughing at me,

I figured out what he was telling me
right away. He was saying,

"Choose the axe! Choose the axe, Son!
Chop, chop, chop, chop!"

Jan Paweł, you're my hero.

I admire your bravery.
It takes a lot of courage to face...

Sudden Death.

Can we just call him Jeremi?

Like we always used to
up until this morning?

Now before we start the proceedings,

I'm obligated to present you
with the warning

from the Chancellor of Health.

Please note that duels carry a risk
of death and/or loss of limbs.

Are the opponents ready to begin?

Pater noster,
qui es in caelis,

sanctificetur...

nomen tuum.

Homo homini lupus est!
Homo homini lupus est!

- Whoo!
- All right, gentlemen.

Let the duel begin!

Hey!

- What are you doing?
- What's going on?

- Have you both gone crazy?
- This isn't the time or place...

Get her out.

Aniela's right!

What are we doing? Are we crazy?

I don't know anymore.

I guess I wanted to impress my son.

To teach him all about honor.

But that's not what matters most in life.

We act all tough.
We spend hours comparing swag.

We don't let any slander slide.

But what are we doing this for?

In life, what matters the most is...

To dance like no one's watching?

What? Nah.

The most important thing
in life is to impress women.

Look around. Not a single woman here.

I mean, besides my daughter.
Women don't care about any of this.

So then. if the women aren't watching us,
then why bother?

Isn't that right, Anielka?

Uh, not even close, Dad.

And so, I humbly swear

on my honor, and for my daughter's honor,

that I will not fight this duel.

It's your lucky day, Sudden Death.

We both swore we would fight.

Reneging on a duel is... slander!

- Slander!
- Yes!

- Slander!
- Slander! Slander! Slander!

My lords, please! That's enough.

Since I won't be fighting,
one of you will have to fight for me.

Let's see.

You there!

Will you do it?

Ready for the privilege of representing...

- That's crazy!
- Some of it got on my coat!

Exactly how I would have done it.

I'm sorry.

I gotta go.

Uh, I'll check to see if he had any coins,
so the peasants don't steal them.

This wouldn't have happened
if you'd fought!

That's fair,
but it's sort of too late to reverse it.

So let's all agree that your cousin Jeremi
is the honorary winner of the duel.

Congratulations Jeremi.

Yeah, congrats.

Peasant,

the nobleman is back in the house.

Remove your hat.

You lout. This is the third time
in two hours that I've come back,

and, every time,
I've asked you to remove your hat.

And you've ignored me every single time.

Show some respect
for your Sarmatian leader,

and take off your blasted hat!

Do you hear me, animal?

Remove your hat!

The cormorant has left the nest.

Jakub! Jakub!

Jakub! Come quickly!

The Lithuanian has fled!

Are you sure
you've got the right Lithuanian?

Yes. It's him.
He took his things and vanished.

- I'll believe it when I see it.
- He can't have gotten far.

Release the dogs!

Oh, hey, roomie.
Want some hot water?

I just put the kettle on.

I tried turning the other cheek,

but Jan Paweł's antics
have gone on too long.

I'm taking matters into my own hands.

Adamczycha will soon be mine.

Ah! Just don't tell anyone, okay?

I always do that. I spill the beans
and then there's no surprise.

So...

Giddy up! Yah!

Yah!