Original subtitles

Hello. Who is this?

This is Western Union. I have a message for Mr. And Mrs. Norton.

- This is Mrs. Norton. - # Happy anniversary to you #

# Happy anniversary to you #

# Happy anniversary dear Mr. And Mrs. Norton #

# Happy anniversary to you ## "Signed, Blanche. "

- I have three more. Would you like me to sing them for you? - No. Just give me the names.

Uh, Mr. And Mrs. Spencer, Mr. And Mrs. Marley and Mrs. Lyons.

Oh, thank you very much.

Good morning, darling.

Hey! Hey, come on. Get up.

- No- - Don't be such a sleepyhead.

Never saw such a lazybones.

Mmm.

- Oh, goodness. - Such a sleep, huh?

Mmm.

- Oh, my dreams don't do you justice. - Come on. Get up now.

- Come on, come on, come on. - All right, Officer. I'll go quietly.

Oh, goodness.

Mmm. Think I can get by without a shave?

No, I think you need one.

I thought maybe I could make it last till noontime.

No, I think you better have a shave.

I guess you're right.

Morning, Goliath.

Oh, Goliath, you shouldn't pick things up like that.

That's a smart dog we have, Jane. Ought to turn him loose in a bank.

Jane, is today Wednesday?

Oh, yes, it is!

- The seventh ofJune. - Oh.

I've got an important business appointment with Burkes and Company today at 4:00.

Keep your fingers crossed, honey. If old man Burkes signs this one.

It'll be California for us this summer.

That'll be nice.

- Will you be through early? - Uh-huh. Course.

Be sure to now.

- Why, anything special? - No, just be early.

- Hello, Blanche. How are you? - Hello, Jane dear. Congratulations.

My, my, let me look at you. Married two whole years...

and just as young and beautiful as the day Ken carried you down the dormitory ladder.

Say, do you realize today's the anniversary of my last divorce?

Why, that's positively indecent. You don't belong here.

- Where's Ken? - He's been held up at the office but should be here any minute.

- Well, here, darling- doctor's orders. - Mmm.

- Have you met my friend Mr. Anderson? - No. How do you do, Mr. Anderson?

How do you do? How do you do? You can call me "Coco. " Everybody does.

- Thank you. - He's charming.

Yeah. Did you take a good look at that puss of his?

- Hello. - If a man answers, invite him over.

- It's for you, Jane- Ken's secretary. - Oh, thank you.

Hello. Yes.

But we have people here.

Well, let me talk to him, please.

But this is his wedding-

Well, it seems that Ken will be very late. He's hopelessly tied up at the office.

- Oh, that's a shame. - Too bad.

- Maybe he won't be long. - We can wait, Jane.

- Well, I-I'm sure he'll get here as quickly as he can. - Hey, genius.

- If Ken can't come to the party, why can't the party come to Ken?

No, really, I-I don't think we should. It must be important, or-

Oh, as Charlie Chan says, "Too much work in matrimony paves the way to alimony. "

- We might as well all go and have a wonderful time.

- Don't get lost, Coco. - Yes, sweet.

Shh.

Shh!

# Happy anniversary to you #

# Happy anniversary-#

- Oh, dear. - What can I do for ye, ma'am?

- Why, uh, we're looking for Mr. Norton. - He ain't been here.

- Are you sure? - We've been right on this floor all evenin'.

Oh. Oh, dear.

Well, Ken doesn't do all of his business at the office.

Oh, well, maybe he's out makin' a few calls or something. Oh, um-

Well, what about, uh, winding up the party at the Stork Club? What do you say, gang?

You go ahead, and Jane and I will meet you over there in a minute. Gee, you're wonderful.

- Let's go. - That's a grand idea, isn't it?

I hope we don't run into Ken at the Stork Club.

Maybe he finished just before we arrived.

Ah, well.

At least you've had two happy years.

I know what you're thinking, but you're wrong.

Oh, no, you don't- not at your age, my dear.

Well, Ken might be with some builder or something. There are any number of explanations.

Mm-hmm. I'd like to be there when Ken makes them.

Well, he's not going to make them, because I'm not going to ask for any.

I'm not going to be like some suspicious old wife-

always prying into her husband's affairs and never letting him out of her sight.

Oh, no?

Oh, dear!

Come here. Come here.

Look what I found.

Foolish Night- very good and very expensive.

- Mmm. It's not bad. - Not bad? I'll say, at $20 an ounce.

Say, uh, that's very unusual for a secretary, isn't it?

- Well, maybe she has a boyfriend. - That's just what I was thinkin'.

- Have you ever seen her? - No. Ken stays out of my kitchen, and I stay out of his office.

Wasn't that Ken's secretary that phoned you tonight?

Yes, but you're on the wrong track, Blanche. I know Ken.

- Come on. Let's join the others, huh? - Mm-hmm.

Well, something smells around here, and it ain't Foolish Night.

Shh. Shh! I'll give you some candy.

Hello.

- Ah, my little wife. Always kidding. - Ken!

- Hmm? - Then you didn't forget it.

- Forget what? - Our anniversary.

- Uh, anniversary- - Yes, of course.

I was afraid it had completely slipped your mind.

Oh, no. No. No, no, no. I couldn't forget that.

Let me see it.

- See what? - The, uh- the package.

Oh, no. No. Not till tomorrow morning. It's a surprise.

- Oh, now, Ken, let me see it. - Yes, but you'll only spoil it if you see it tonight.

- I won't be able to sleep! - I wanted it as a surprise.

You'll be able to sleep all right. Now, Jane, don't-Jane! L-

But that's a mistake. Why, I-I distinctly told them that- uh-

Oh, Ken.

I'm sorry, Jane, but I asked you to wait till tomorrow morning.

Oh, don't worry about it, darling. It's really just what I wanted.

Oh, Ken, you're a dog. But you're the nicest dog I know.

Oh, I'm a no-good so-and-so-

always forgetting birthdays and anniversaries, and...

I don't know why you put up with a broken-down husband like me.

Because you're the most wonderful man in the world- in my world.

I'm glad you're really not angry.

Come on. Better turn in. You'll need your sleep if you have to get up early.

Here we are. In you go now.

Get you all tucked-in here good. There.

- I really would have remembered if I hadn't been rushed all day. - You poor darling.

- Working so hard. - Yep.

Pounding away at the office from dinnertime till just a few minutes ago.

You've been at the office all this time?

Turned out a stack of estimates a foot high.

Things are so dead. You've - You've got to keep going, build up an interest.

Oh, my, but you're so beautiful.

There we are.

- Foolish Night. - Good night.

- Good mornin', ma'am. - Good morning, Melbourne.

- How is Mrs. Norton? - She's fine.

- And Mr. Norton? - Oh, he's fine too.

- He left for the office after breakfast. - Oh?

- Did he have breakfast with Mrs. Norton? - Yes, uh, ma'am, as usual.

As usual? Are you sure?

- L-I'll tell Mrs. Norton you're here. - Oh, Blanchel

Oh, hello, Jane darling.

- How are you, my pet? - Hello, Blanche.

- I just popped in to take you downtown to have lunch with me. - Oh, no, you didn't.

- Why, Jane! - You didn't pop in to take me to lunch.

You just popped in to see if the floor was all littered with broken glassware...

and the furniture wrapped around Ken's neck.

- Well, Jane dear, tell me what happened. - Nothing happened.

- Oh. Nothing? - Nothing.

Oh, dear.

Oh, there's not much sense in trying to fool you, Blanche.

I know you just want to be helpful, but, well, it's all such a mess. L-

Here, here. Go ahead and have a good cry. It'll make you feel better.

No, thanks. I had one and I feel worse.

- He confessed. - No, but... I found out.

- His secretary! - I- I think so.

- I know so! - Aren't you gonna snatch her bald-headed?

- And what good would that do? - Oh, ho-ho, plenty.

If a woman can't hold her man, then it's her own fault.

But I'm going to hold mine.

Say, are you still on speaking terms with your last husband?

Crawford? Oh, sure. I never let a divorce break up a friendship.

Oh, that's fine then. Now I want him to write me a letter-

a letter of introduction and recommendation, you see?

Do what?

Well, you see, if I find the cause, then I'll know the cure.

- Say, what is this? - Blanche...

I'm going to do some research that even the Carnegie Institute never heard of.

I'm going to find out just what it is that secretaries have that wives haven't.

- And when I do, I'Il- - You'll do what?

You'll see.

I'm, uh- I'm Miss Blake. Jane Blake.

- The Crawford Employment Agency sent me. - Oh, yes.

Well, I'm Miss Applegate. You know- "An applegate a day keeps the doctor away"?

- She didn't get it. - Uh, is Mr. Dexter in, please?

Yes. He's busy right now.

Why don't you get yourself one of those automatic stamp-lickers?

- Oh, Mr. Dexter won't okay it. - Why not?

Mr. Dexter says he doesn't approve of the machine age.

It's all right though. He pays for these chocolates.

You know, Mr. Dexter has a mind of his own. He's a genius.

Everybody says so, includin' Mr. Dexter.

- Well, maybe I won't do. L- - Oh, don't worry. I think he'll like you.

- Well, I may not like- - Oh, you will. That is, unless-

- Unless what? - Mmm, just unless.

You know, a girl learns plenty around here you don't find in seed catalogs.

- Have a chocolate. - Thank you.

- How's it taste to you? - Fine.

You know, I can't make up my mind whether this glue tastes like the chocolate or...

the chocolate tastes like the glue.

Yes, Mr. Dexter?

- Call the Architects Club and tell Mr. Harris I won't get over. - Yes, sir.

Oh, there's a Miss Blake here sent by the Crawford Employment Agency.

- Send her in. - Yes, sir.

Good luck.

- Is Mr. Dexter... married? - Yeah.

Oh.

- You're Miss, um- - Miss Blake. Jane Blake.

- Did Mr. Crawford send you over? - Yes, sir.

For whom have you worked before?

Uh, well, I- I took a course in office management at school.

- Is that all? - Yes.

The work we do here requires an experienced secretary. I am afrai-

Won't you sit down, Miss Blake?

Thank you.

How long were you at school?

Well, I graduated.

Ah, well, that-That's different.

- How's your typing? - Rapid.

- And your shorthand? - About 90 words a minute. Would you care to test me?

No. No, that won't be necessary.

I've had some training with files too.

- Do you play backgammon? - Huh?

- Backgammon. Backgammon. - Oh, uh, yes. Yes.

Everybody should play backgammon.

That'll be all, Miss Blake.

Whew.

- Well, are ya in or out? - I... don't know.

Did he ask you if you play backgammon?

- Yes. - You're in.

Comin', Mrs. Norton.

- Oh, Mr. Norton. - I couldn't find my keys, Melbourne. Mrs. Norton in?

- Mrs. Norton? - Yes. My wife, remember?

- Oh! Mrs. Norton. - Yes.

Uh, she's been downtown all day, uh, uh- uh, shoppin'. Yes, sir.

Mmm. Seems to me like there's an awful lot of shopping been going on here lately.

- There's lots of sales this week, Mr. Norton. - Mm-hmm.

- I'm gonna change for dinner, Melbourne. - Yes, sir.

All of this lyin' sure is gonna get me in bad with Father Divine.

- Melbourne, is he here? - Yes, ma'am. He just came in.

- Where is he? - He's changin' for dinner.

- You don't think he suspects anything, do you? - Oh, no.

- He don't know nothin' about your workin'. - Swell.

I thought I'd never get away today.

- Mrs. Norton. - Yes, Melbourne?

Mrs. Norton, if times are so hard you got to work, I don't mind takin' a cut.

Oh, Melbourne, you sweet thing. It isn't that at all.

- But you've got to help me keep this a secret. - Yes, ma'am.

Now you and Miss Blanche are the only ones who know.

I don't know how secrets get along with Miss Blanche, but by me, they's like they ain't.

- Oh, Miss Blanche sent this over for you this afternoon. - Open it, please.

- Read it, will you? - It says, "Maybe this will help. Blanche. "

- Foolish Night. - I better go see about my dinner.

Okay, you asked for it.

And that's just where it belongs.

- I don't blame you for not liking it. - Melbournel

- Hi, lovey. - Hello, darling.

Vanilla.

Hmm. Dry martini.

Yes, I stopped by for a drink with an old friend- a client.

I tried to get you on the phone all afternoon, but you were out.

- Yes, I- I was shopping. - Uh-huh. Well, what I wanted to tell you was, honey, that I-

I had to cancel the theater tickets for this evening.

I'm afraid I'll have to go right back to the office after dinner.

I'm sorry, but you know how it is.

Well, if you have to, you have to.

I can always curl up with a good book.

That's the girl.

Dinner's ready.

May I?

Oh, what's happened to your fingernails? You've cut them, huh?

Oh, yes. I broke a couple, so I had them trimmed short.

- You look tired, Jane. - Oh, shopping was terrible. Just women, women, women. L-

Yes, I can imagine.

- Nice perfume. - Perfume? I'm not wearing any perfume.

Well, I- No, I... meant the... flowers.

Uh-

It's a... little stuffy around here, don't you think?

- Maybe I... Better open the windows, hmm? - I'll open it.

No, no. No, no. I'll do it.

A cigar? With your soup?

Mm-hmm.

Little habit I picked up recently.

Goes very well.

Come on, Goliath, and stop that beggin'.

My, my, you sure do smell pretty.

Hello? Who's callin', please? Mr. Dexter?

Mr. Bernard Dexter?

Hold a while, Mr. Dexter.

Oh, it- it- it must be the-

Huh?

- Mr. Dexter's callin'. It's for you, Mr. Norton. - Oh. Excuse me, dear.

Hello? Oh, hello, Barney? Yes, I just missed you at the club.

I'm sorry I had to ask you to call me here.

Well, when would be the best time to see you?

Well, I'll tell you what you do. Tomorrow, why don't you have your girl just call the office?

For the walls I would recommend precast concrete blocks-

plain and molded on alternate courses.

The roof should be of copper-covered steel.

Two graceful, slender pediments.

Uh, yours truly, Bernard Dexter.

Uh, how, um- how about a game of backgammon?

Oh, I think I'd better get this correspondence out, don't you?

Oh, you can make up the rest of that anytime. He doesn't know what he wants anyway.

Come on!

- I am very good at this. - Yes.

Did you know that the Persian warriors always played backgammon...

after a hard day on the battlefield?

- How about lunch together? - Oh, you shouldn't take me to lunch.

I always had trouble with those two words. "Should" and "shouldn't. "

So I just dropped them from my vocabulary.

I know a seafood spot in Sheepshead that you'll like.

Oh, but people might talk.

That wouldn't worry me.

Oh, your-your Dictograph, sir.

- Yes? Mr. Kenneth Norton is here to see you.

Oh, send him in.

Oh, I- I'd better see if those blueprints on theJanzen home are ready.

Oh, it's just a fella about a roofing contract.

- Hi, Ken. - Hello, Barney. How are you?

- What have you got there? - I've just been playing with my secretary.

- Oh, backgammon, huh? - Great game.

Yes, but the way I'm fixed, that won't do me any good. I've gotta have the whole job.

Tell you what. Give me a few days. I'll show you something you can't turn down.

All right, but I can't give you much encouragement.

Here, I'll show you Mallory's figures.

Have Miss Blake bring in the Mallory correspondence.

She isn't here. I thought she was in with you, sir.

Oh. I'll only take a minute.

- Good morning, boys. - Good morning, Miss Blake!

Um, who's working on the Lawton bungalow?

- I am! - It's right here.

- Here it is, dream girl. - Oh, thank you, Mr. -

- Just call me Michelangelo. By the way, will you marry me? - I'll have to ask my mother.

- Remember, two can live cheaper than one. - Sure, if they both work.

- Miss Blakel Miss Blakel - Oh, shh, boys. I'm not here.

Shh. Okay.

- Miss Blake? - She isn't here, Mr. Dexter.

Oh.

- Whoa. Thanks boys. Thanks a lot. - Naughty, naughty.

- Playin' peekaboo with the boss. - What are you doin' for dinner? Lunch, breakfast, any meal?

Well, I don't eat, but if I ever start again, I'll keep you in mind.

Thanks a million, boys. Bye-bye.

- Now don't forget. - I won't.

- So long, old man. - So long.

So, there I was in Paris...

without a penny in my pocket and a Russian countess on my hands.

It took me three weeks to persuade her that I'd never seen her before in my life.

I don't believe a word of it.

You're wonderful.

Why?

Because not a word of it's true.

- But it makes a good story. - It certainly does.

- But, uh, does it apply to everything you say? - Everything.

You made a big mistake in coming out to lunch with me.

- I am totally unreliable. - Must I, uh, call for help?

If you do, I'll be the first to your rescue.

Why don't you have dinner with me tonight, and, uh, we'll discuss approaches.

There's a Mrs. Dexter, isn't there?

- Yes, of course. - Well, how do you feel about her?

- I think the world of her. - Well, I'm glad you said that.

But, uh, I-I'm not, uh- not... tied up.

- It shouldn't- - Ah, ah, ah. No "shouldn't's. "

Well, I mean, uh...

I- I'd like you to think of me as a sort of a-

- an ineligible eligible bachelor. - I understand.

- Shall we say 8:00? - I can't.

Tomorrow night?

Well, day after tomorrow? "I can't. "

Would it do any good to ask when?

No.

You just keep on saying no if you like.

The "yes"will be all the more delightful when it comes.

Your mouth is very pretty when it says no.

Have you heard that before?

Yes.

Will there be anything else, sir?

No, that'll be all...

for today.

- Yes? - No, ma'am.

Oh, that's swell. Then I'll have time to change.

I've laid out your housecoat and slippers.

- Thanks, Melbourne. Will you help me? - Yes, ma'am.

- Say, if this keeps up, I'm going to have zippers put on all my clothes-

Just have my dresses made so I can peel them off like banana skins.

This quick-change business is getting me down. I don't know how actresses can do it.

They usually takes to drink.

My first husband was a stagehand. He told me.

- Did you see Shuffle Along? - I think so.

- Remember the big palm tree in the second act? - Uh-huh.

That was my husband.

He moved that on every night for 40 weeks.

Oh, there's Ken.

You ready for him.

Yoo-hool Honey, that man's here again.

Whew!

- Melbourne? - Yes, sir?

- Mrs. Norton home yet? - Yes, sir. She been here all day.

- She has? - She sure has.

- Didn't she go out at all? - No, sir.

- She didn't go out at all. - Hmm, that's funny.

There I go again.

- Oh, hello, darling. - Hello, Ken.

I was reading.

- Melbourne tells me that you've been here all day. - Why, yes, I have. Why?

- Ah, then Wilson was wrong. I told him it couldn't be you. - Me?

Yes. Tom Wilson said he saw you leaving Sheepshead Bay this afternoon.

- We don't know anyone in Sheepshead. - Sheepshead?

- Yes, he was driving home, and he insisted that he saw you. - Isn't that silly?

Say, how's that big deal coming along?

- The one you mentioned the other night? - Mmm, not so good.

- Running into trouble? - And how.

- Oh, don't you worry. We'll get along all right, dear. - Well, why don't you try-

I just have to keep plugging. That's all. This fellow Dexter's a hard nut to crack.

- Dexter? - Yes, he's an architect. You wouldn't know him.

Dexter.

Say, isn't he the one who designed that earthquake-proof house...

that collapsed when a truck went by?

No, that was some nut in California.

- Oh, well, then I wouldn't know him. - No, darling, you wouldn't.

- Good-bye. - Oh, good-bye, Mrs. Dexter.

- Good morning, Joyce. - Good morning, Jane.

- Say, who was that? - That?

- Oh, that's Mrs. Dexter. - Oh.

Yep. She pops in every now and then to see if Barney boy...

is workin' on buildings or buildups.

Say, what kind of a person is she?

Oh, she's sort of a combination of Sherlock Holmes and the Day of Reckoning.

- She asked me about you. - Oh, she did? What did you tell her?

Oh, that you were a nice girl- rather ordinary-looking but efficient...

like me.

That'll probably hold her for a couple of weeks.

Ooh, it's 9:30. Say, has the boss been yelling for me?

He wouldn't yell for you, darling. He'd coo.

You got Barney boy all aflutter.

- You know, I think he's a little afraid of you. - Me?

Here I go.

You're tellin' me.

But, Rarkinson, she already has a closetful.

Oh, really, you're being too appreciative.

But I-I haven't any use for it.

Well, suit yourself then.

- Good morning, Jane. - Good morning.

- Oh, I just saw Mrs. Dexter. - Ooh, did you? Did she see you?

- No. - You get a bonus.

Well, I really can't see why you want to take me out to dinner. She's very, very pretty.

- Or haven't you noticed? - I have had 954 dinners with her already.

Mrs. Dexter's a wonderful woman, but, uh-

You mean, it gets to be sort of a... routine?

Hmm, possibly.

After a while, a wife gets to be a sort of a solved crossword puzzle.

- Oh, she does? - Mmm, yes.

A man likes to be intrigued, likes to fence with someone-

someone who's liable to say no.

But why pick on somebody who works for you?

- Oh, just so I can still have a little advantage. - That's a fine confession.

I was just joking.

I was only joking.

In an office, there's just work... and secretaries...

and secretaries are much more attractive than work-

especially when they're attractive.

Now, uh- Now you take you.

- Maybe I'd better take a letter. - Ah, yes, a letter.

Jane, how long have you been working for me?

One week today.

Well, it's about time we showed our appreciation.

Come here, please.

On behalf of Dexter and Company...

it gives me great pleasure to award you this little token of our gratitude.

- It won't quite fit into your pay envelope, but, uh- - Oh, I-

- accept it, please. - Oh, no, no. Really, I-I couldn't.

- Why, you shouldn't have done that. - Oh, it didn't cost me anything.

I did a special job for Parkinson...

and, well, every year he sends me some little thing like this.

Well, you should give it to Mrs. Dexter then.

She's already got two exactly like it. Take it, please.

Oh, no, no. Really, I can't. It's impossible.

- Why not? - Well, I, uh- I wouldn't know how to explain it.

- Explain what? - Well, I- I mean, to my friends. And on my salary, I-

- We'll give you a raise. - Oh, no. Please don't ask me to, because...

even if I knew what to do with it, I wouldn't want it.

You're going to hurt my feelings. You seem to misunderstand this.

Oh, but I-I can't bring a thing like that home.

Well, you're going to. It's yours. Let's not have any more nonsense.

- No, I can't- - Miss Blake, I am not accustomed to insubordination.

- But really, I- - This is a command.

- L-I can't- - That will be all, Miss Blake.

Here. Do you want this?

- What, the fur or the box? - The fur.

The fur? Why, it's beautiful.

- Well, you can have it. - L-

Ah, don't be silly. If I wore a thing like this, I'd have the G-man after me.

You try it on. Let me see how it looks on you.

Oh, boy. Why, you look stunning.

- You really think so? - Do I!

- Ken would adore me in this. - Ken?

Oh, uh, yes. My, uh- My boyfriend.

Gee, you'll panic him.

Say, Applegate, if you had a thing like this on your hands, what would you do?

Well- This worked once.

You go down to Eighth Avenue, and on the corner of 43rd Street you'll find-

Now look, Kitty. I've got letters to dictate. There's mail to get out.

Miss Briggs can't do all the work around this office alone, you know.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I know you've got a hangover, but it's 12:30!

Am I the boss, uh, or am I?

Well, could you come in by 2:00, if that's not too much trouble?

L-

Uh, well, yes. At your earliest convenience. Yes. Thank you.

- Hello, hello. - Hello, darling.

- I'm sorry to break in on you like this. - Not at all.

- I'm glad to see you. Mmm. - Well, I'll only be a minute.

I just found out that I haven't a penny, and, well, I'm taking some of the girls to lunch.

Oh! Always willing to help a lady in distress.

- Here. This should do it. - Thank you, darling.

- Say! With this I could throw a banquet. - Fine.

Oh, um, by the way, darling, I just found this on the street. Is it worth anything?

Hmm. A pawn ticket.

No name or address.

- Fur piece. Now that's liable to be worth a fortune. - Maybe this is my lucky day.

- Well, it's only valued at $20. - Oh, well, bring it home anyway. You never can tell.

That's right. You never can tell.

My, your desk is an awful mess.

Are you sure you have a competent secretary, dear?

- Oh, yes. Oh, very competent, but there's just too much work for her to do. - Mm-hmm.

Well, you're busy.

- Thanks a lot, darling. See you later. - Right.

- Bye-bye. - Bye-bye.

Hello?

Bye-bye.

All right. 3:00 then, but not a moment later.

- Did you buzz, sir? - Oh, yes. Miss Briggs, when Miss Frazier comes in...

would you please ask her to come in here and clean up this desk?

- It looks like a pigsty. - Yes, sir.

Oh, yes, and, uh, have her run down to the pawnshop and redeem this, will you?

Yes, sir.

- What was our time last night? - Thirty-six seconds flat.

Oh, I wonder if that's a world's record.

Jane? Honey, where are you?

- Yes? - Oh, honey.

I'll be through in a second.

- I have something for you. - You have?

- Yeah, but I don't think you're going to like it. - Oh, I'll love it.

- I adore surprises. From the pawnshop? - Yep.

- But it isn't worth $20. I'll open for you. - Oh, no, no, no. Let me open it.

It's mine.

- I'm afraid you're gonna be awfully disappointed. - Oh, no, I won't.

Well...

maybe it's not so bad.

- This is what that ticket called for? - Yep.

- Are you sure? - Sure, sure.

Here. Let's put in on and see how you look.

There you are.

Well, it's not so hot. Oh, antique, eh?

- This is awful! - Well, that's what I said.

It's nothing but rabbit- and sick rabbit at that!

Well, honey, what do you expect with a pawn ticket? Sable?

Are you positive that's what you got from that pawnshop?

Well, yes. I sent my own secretary down with the ticket.

Your-Your secretary?

That's right. In person.

And, uh, that's what she brought back?

Yes. And for $20 that doesn't look like it's worth a dime.

You know, I'll bet that's some kind of a racket.

That pawnshop probably scatters those tickets all over the street...

Just for gullible women like you to pick up.

Twenty dollars- a fine thing.

I'm gonna report this to the Better Business Bureau and the police.

- Oh, no. I wouldn't. - Yes, but they investigate the-these swindles.

Oh, but, darling, it isn't worth going to all that trouble. And besides, I-

Yes, but, Jane, something really ought to be done about things like this.

Darling, it isn't really so bad. It might be worth $20.

- Mmm. - It has a silk lining.

- Yes. - It just doesn't look good on me.

Well, I- I'm so sorry that you were let down though.

It's all right, darling. I was just hoping that it would be something pretty...

that I could wear some evening when we were out.

Yes, we-we-we haven't had many nights out together lately, have we?

You've had to spend too many of them alone. It's been bothering me, Jane.

I wouldn't want to make you unhappy.

- Then-Then you do care? - Care?

L- I mean about my being alone.

Oh, Jane.

Listen. I'll tell you what let's do.

Friday night how about you and I going out together, huh?

Dine and dance. We can get acquainted all over again.

- What do you say? - Oh, darling, I'd love it, if I can count on it.

You can count on it.

It'll be just like before we were married, asking you for a date.

Are you free Friday evening?

Friday? Well, I think it might be arranged.

Come in.

- Mmm! - Dinner's ready.

Thank you, Melbourne. Here. Merry Christmas.

Madam.

- You can have it. - No, thank you.

Miss Blake said to ask you how the weather is on the coast.

Tell Miss Blake the coast is still not clear.

- Wet and windy. - Okay.

Now, look. I've given you Unamic roofing throughout.

And with these specifications you can't turn me down, Barney.

Listen, Ken, I do want to give you a break.

Suppose I slip you one of the larger buildings.

Nope. Nope, I've gotta have 'em all.

You're a stubborn cuss, but I like you.

Well, I'Il- I don't know. I'll just have to do some checking up.

Well, how about meeting me for lunch? That give you time?

Oh, I can't make it for lunch. Let me see. This is Friday.

- Why don't you have dinner with me? - Mm-hmm.

- You know that, uh, nightclub on 53rd Street I designed? - Yeah.

Well, it's opening tonight, and I guess I ought to throw a little party, okay?

That'll be fine. Be all right if I bring the wife along, won't it?

Well, uh, let's not make it that kind of a party, eh?

It's not that kind of a place. We can have fun.

Well, um, Barney, I don't know. L-

I sort of promised her, you know, and I'd hate to, uh- um-

Oh, I see. The wife keeps you pretty well in tow, huh?

Well, I can't blame you for not wanting to-

Oh, no. No. Now wait a minute. Don't get the wrong idea.

The little lady eats right out of my hand. It's only that-

I know how it is. My wife used to-

Oh, no, no. It's not that way at all. I've got my wife very well trained.

She's nice and quiet. The home type, you know.

- I wear the pants in my family. - Good! Then it's a date.

- We may get in a few words about the deal. - Oh, fine.

Have you got a, uh- a friend you could bring?

- Well, I have a secretary. - Swell. I've got one too- a new one.

Oh, wait till you see her. She'll bowl you over.

- Barney, you always could pick 'em. 9:00? - Yes.

- Good. See you then. - Bye.

- Yes, sir? - Make a reservation for four at the Chez Pierre for tonight.

Yes, sir.

- I've got my pencils. - Oh, yes. Where were we?

- Well, we hadn't started as yet. - Oh, that's right.

Gentlemen...

if we were to take the compaction and stratification of the configuration...

in confirmation to the angiography...

it would represent a superstructure...

With "splanchforgustic" "meltadonographicisms."

Consequently, I will be unable to indulge in these "archolinear gradiscopics"...

inasmuch as I am taking Miss Blake to dinner this evening.

What do you say?

- Whew. Well, I- - Before you say no, listen.

I've got to be at a club tonight for business reasons, and I may want you to take some notes.

Oh, no, no, please, not tonight. I have an engagement - a really important one.

Break it. Tell him you've got to work.

You know, secretaries sometimes do work at nights.

Oh, but really, I can't. It's a date that just can't be broken.

- Important things in your life, huh? - You might call it that.

- You're not angry, are you? - Of course I am, but I'll get over it.

That'll be all for now.

Hello, working girl. Say, where's your pick and shovel?

Hello, Blanche. Come on in and talk to me, huh?

- Say, uh, tell me about the man you're working for. Is he, uh- - Dexter?

- Uh-huh. - Oh, he's too charming for words.

- Just for words? - Well, so far.

- Dangerous but passable, eh? - Oh, you'd like him, Blanche.

- Why, of course. He's a man. - Oh.

- Melbourne! - So you're discovering what you've got as a secretary...

that you didn't have as a wife, is that it?

If Dexter's any replica of Ken, then I'm discovering a lot of things.

Melbourne?

I'm sure you are.

But while you're discovering what secretaries have that wives haven't, better beware...

or you'll be finding out what attractions other husbands have that yours hasn't.

Well, don't worry about that.

- Well, that's quite a field of research too, you know. - Yes, ma'am.

- Oh, Melbourne, did you lay out my things? - Yes-

- The gown with the red sash? - No-

- Did my new hat get here? - Yes'm.

- Say, what's all the excitement? - Oh, didn't you know?

- No. - Why, I'm actually going out with my own husband.

Oh, but sensational!

- Is you goin' out with Mr. Ken? - Well, yes. Why?

Well, he was here about an hour ago and changed his clothes and went away.

I expects he left that note for you.

Note?

He can't make it tonight.

"A most important business conference. "

Well, what's so bad about that?

You can go out tomorrow night instead.

It isn't that, Blanche. This was important.

Oh, why do I go on pretending...

lying to myself, saying it's only a passing flirtation...

when I know I'm only telling myself the things I want to believe?

Well, that's marriage. If you're happy, there's nothing better.

If you're unhappy, there's nothing worse.

I know how you feel...

but I still say, what are you gonna do about it?

I've got it.

And now what?

Hello. Will you ring Mr. Bernard Dexter, please? Thank you.

I wish you'd get your mind off that contract.

- Don't you realize it's after business hours? - Have another drink.

- Oh, I've had three. Why don't you have one? - Later.

- Oh. - Fell down, but wouldn't hurt him.

- Good evening, Mr. Dexter. Right this way to your table. - Yeah.

Oh, come on. Let's dance. I've never seen you in such a mood.

- Well, if you think you can stand it. - Well, here we are, Ken.

Oh, hello, Barney. Didn't you, uh-

Didn't I tell you she'd bowl you over?

I want you to meet the most beautiful, the most charming...

the most delightful secretary in the world, Miss Jane Blake.

Y- Your-Your secretary?

Yeah. The most wonderful secretary in the world.

Well, I like that, Ken. Aren't you gonna stick up for me? Hmm?

Uh, oh, I-I-

- I want you to meet the second-most, uh- - Well, that's a fine thing.

No, no. I mean the most competent, the most beautiful-

The two most charming and most beautiful secretaries in the world.

That-That's right. The two most beau-

- This is Miss Frazier. - Oh, let's not have any formalities.

- I'm Barney, this is Jane, this is- - Kitty.

And this is Ken.

When we're not in the office, I call him "Kenny-wenny. " Mm-hmm.

Waiter.

- Yes, sir. - Uh, La Sant '28.

And put some extra bottles on ice- three or four of them.

Yes, sir.

You might try the other end.

Oh, yeah.

That's nice perfume, Kitty.

- Shall we, uh, dance? - Oh, let's wait for the wine.

- It's a beautiful place, isn't it? - Mm-hmm. Gorgeous.

- Hmm. Unamic roofing, I suppose. - Mm-hmm. Yes.

Yes. Yes, that's just what I thought.

Miss Frazier, please remember that.

Unamic roofing throughout, type 3XB2, cross texture.

I'd be completely lost without my office help.

You'll be lost if you keep that up, Mr. Norton. This is supposed to be a party.

- Oh, now, Ben. - The name is Ken.

Oh, yes, Ken, of course. Well, don't be an old gloomsy, Ken.

We're here for pleasure, not business.

That's the spirit, Jane.

Isn't she wonderful?

Oh, yes. Lovely girl.

Oh, I- I forgot to thank you for these orchids, Barney. They're lovely.

Oh, I saw them in the florist's window, and I said...

"They should seeJane. "

You put things the nicest way.

I mean it.

Hey. Hey, remember me?

Ken isn't in his usual form tonight. He's really very poetic.

Darling, what was that you said to me the other day?

Oh, yes, I remember. He said I had a smile that reminded him of sunlight...

Dancing on the ripples of some quiet brook.

Isn't that cute?

Oh, that's darling. Isn't it, Barney?

Huh? Yes.

Uh, may I have this dance, Miss Blake?

Oh, just call meJane.

None of those "quiet brook" lines now.

No. No.

Now, listen, Jane. What's this about you and Dexter?

- Oh, take it easy now, Ken. Don't act like a husband. - A husband-

Remember, people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw fits.

Well, if you're speaking about Miss Frazier, this is strictly a business date.

- But you won't say what kind of business. - Yes, business.

I have a contract here in my pocket that I expect Dexter to sign before tonight.

How interesting. You know, your dancing's improved, Ken. Been practicing?

- Never mind that. What about you and Dexter? - Well, he asked me to come...

and a good secretary always obeys her boss.

- Ask Kitty. - Oh, will you forget this secretary gag?

But it's true. I've been Mr. Dexter's secretary for over a week.

Well, you certainly haven't been acting like a secretary.

- Hiya, Jane. - Hello, Blanche.

Hiya there. What are you looking for?

This is a fine how-do-you-do. My own wife, and I have to put up with that old-

When I get back to the table, I'm gonna tell him a thing or two.

- Ah, ah, ah. Remember that contract. - Contra-

- Besides, you wouldn't want him to know I'm your wife. - Why wouldn't I?

- You planted me in his office just to swing a deal. - Oh, no.

It's blackmail or something. Queer you everywhere, wouldn't it?

- Well, I'm not certainly gonna stand by and say nothing. - Oh, yes, you will.

If you'll take my advice, you'll play along with things just as they are.

As a matter of fact, that's all you can do.

Oh, that was great.

Say, your boyfriend certainly is a wonderful dancer.

Oh, he's wonderful at a lot of things. Aren't you, Barney boy?

Of course.

L- I feel a little chilly.

Oh. Ow.

- That's a beautiful cape you're wearing, Kitty. - Isn't it though?

- Ken gave it to me. - Me? Oh, no, no, no. L-I-

Yes, you did, but you didn't know it.

How did you like that rabbit skin I gave you? That was for luck.

That's funny. Jane's got one exactly like it.

No. No, no, no. Jane doesn't have any silver fox. No.

I beg your pardon, Mr. Norton. How would you know?

Uh-Well, as a matter of fact, I wouldn't know.

Just a little joke of mine.

What's the matter, Ken? Don't you like your soup?

Oh, soup. Yes, yes, I- I- Soup.

I'm afraid you'll have to forgive me, Barney. L-

I don't think I'm up to this sort of thing- nightclubs and all.

If you'll pardon us, I think we-

So soon? The evening's just beginning.

Well, I-I've had kind of a tough day, and I'm a little bit groggy.

I don't like to be a bore.

Oh, nonsense, Ben. You're the life of the party.

The name is Ken.

- My nose is shiny. Would you care to join me? - Yeah, sure.

- Will you excuse us? - Of course.

Did you ever see such loveliness?

That girl has more than one woman deserves.

She's a little on the formal side and quite untutored.

You can always tell a woman who hasn't known the right men.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Now look. I don't want to spoil your fun, but my wife-

Your wife?

So that's what's been worrying you all evening.

Nobody's going to see you here. Stop worrying.

Besides, I thought you had her perfectly trained.

- Well- - Put your foot down.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's a- that's a good idea.

- Barney your first job? - Yes.

- Say, he's all right. - "All right" isn't the word for him.

- Yoo-hoo! Janey! Hello, darling. - Hello, Blanche.

I knew you'd be around somewhere, you ambulance chaser.

- Will you excuse me? - Oh, of course, of course.

- Foolish Night? - In person.

Oh! Say, what are we waiting for? We've got her cornered.

- Hey, wait a minute, Blanche. Hold it. - Wait.

You're not gonna pass up an opportunity like this?

Oh, but it's not her fault. She doesn't mean any harm.

- Oh, what's the matter with you? - Nothing.

Well, you don't sound like the same woman that I talked to a few hours ago.

- I'm not. - Oh.

So you finally found out what advantage secretaries have.

Blanche, there's a little of the wandering minstrel in every man.

And if you don't hold his interest...

he's bound to go whistling under other people's balconies.

Well, I must say, it only took you three weeks to find that out.

It took me three husbands.

Oh, let's not talk any business tonight.

I just wanted to give you those few points before I forgot them. That's all.

Oh, that's fine. Say, Ken...

since you're tired and all that, tell you what.

I'll invite you all somewhere else. Then you say you'd rather run along.

Then you'll be alone with your girlfriend, and I'll be alone with mine. How's that?

- Uh, well, uh- - Good.

No, but you-you don't underst-

I think we've exhausted the possibilities of this place.

How about going up to my penthouse and finishing the evening?

- Fine. - Swell. - Penthouse?

What about you, Ken? You're not too tired, I hope.

No. No, as a matter of fact, I never felt better.

I'm just getting my second wind. Come on. Let's go.

...little old last year's penthouse. There were a thousand steps.

- Could you walk? - Oh, isn't that gorgeous?

- Beautiful! - That's lovely, isn't it?

Really, Ken, you look awfully tired. And pale too.

You shouldn't force yourself to carry on just to be a good sport.

- We'll understand if- - Oh, no. L-I'm enjoying every minute of it.

Well, shall we, uh, go inside?

Well, here we are at the top of a thousand stairs.

If you should find it desirable to walk home, you'll find that going downstairs...

- is much easier than up. - Oh, what a beautiful room.

I use this place for my, uh, creative work.

We can make all the noise we like.

It's soundproof, fireproof, burglar-proof.

And, uh, wife-proof?

- Is Ken married? - Yes, but I gather his wife's no ray of sunshine, eh, Ken?

- No! No! I didn't say that. - He was telling me the other day she's the quiet, mousy kind.

- No, Barney, I didn't say that. - You know, under the thumb.

- Yeah. - Mousy, huh?

- How about a little drink? - Now you're talking.

- And some music. - Come on.

Come on!

You see that mess of lights over there?

That's the World's Fair.

Looks like something out of the Arabian Nights, doesn't it?

You get a much better view of it from the, uh, study.

You haven't called me "Kitten" all evening.

- Haven't I? - No.

- My, my, Ken. Your lips are slipping. - He's so impetuous.

I'll bet he's a little dickens.

What were you saying about that view from the study?

Oh, yes, the view. This way.

Oh, come on. Sweep me off my feet, huh?

Yeah, yeah, sure.

I wish you'd pay a little attention to me. I'm supposed to be your girlfriend, you know.

Oh, yeah. Sure, sure.

- Hey, listen. Are you falling for that gal of Dexter's? - What?

Well, you've had your eyes on her all evening. Well, forget it. She's not your type.

Now listen. Will you please relax, Kitten?

- I'm worried about something. - Well, do you have to worry now?

Yes!

The sea at Antibes.

- A study in- - Now look here.

- You should-What I mean is- - What's the matter, Ken? Too many drinks?

No, no, it isn't that at all. What I wanna tell you-

Now take it easy, Ken. There's nothing to get excited about.

Listen. What I wanna tell you is-

There's someone at the door.

At this hour?

It is your wife. Shall I let her in?

- No, no, no, for heaven's sake. - Yes, yes, go on. Let her in.

Why make her believe anything's wrong when nothing is wrong?

You're crazy. You don't know my wife.

Well, I don't have to know her. This is just a business gathering.

- Huh? What do you mean? - Just what I said. Strictly business.

Now look. Come with me. Come on.

Kitty, sit there. Jane.

- Barney, do you have any pad and pencil? - Look in that drawer.

Look in that drawer. Make some notes now.

Go on. Go on. Let her in. Here.

Now- Now look important. Say something.

I, uh, like your specifications for the Chicago and Rittsburgh plans...

But, uh, I'm afraid you haven't taken into consideration the weather conditions in Montreal.

Oh, oh. But double- sheeting should take care of that situation.

- Of course, you know the price per yard- - Bernard.

Well. Well, my dear.

Nice party you're having.

Now, just a minute, Mrs. Dexter.

- You are Mrs. Dexter, aren't you? - I am.

Well, you seem to have the idea that there's been a wild party here or something.

Yes, I have that idea.

- Oh- - You're quite right.

There has been a party, but hardly a wild one.

This is my husband, Kenneth Norton.

Oh, that's right, dear.

My husband and your husband are just closing a business deal.

Mr. Dexter was kind enough to have us to dinner.

Oh, and this young lady here is my husband's confidential secretary.

Hmm. Is your husband in the habit of taking his secretary out to dinner parties?

Oh, yes. He does it quite often. Don't you, dear?

Uh, oh, yes.

Yes. Yes, I take her most every place I go.

Uh- Uh, well, Barney old boy, are you ready to sign the contract?

Huh? Oh, yes. Yes, of course.

Good. Good. Then it's a deal. There we are.

Right on the, um- the, um-

But these figures are 20% higher than Mallory's new bid.

That's all right. I'm your pal.

Well, there we are.

Well, Ken old boy, it was hard persuading you to accept this deal...

but I'm glad I finally got you.

Oh, that's all right, Barney old boy.

Always glad to help out a pal, you know?

Well, Mr. Dexter, Kitty and I want to thank you for a most pleasant evening.

- It's been a pleasure. - It's been very nice meeting you.

I'II, uh, show you to the door.

- Uh, here. I'll take that. - Excuse me, dear.

- Good night. - Good night.

- Well, Barney- - Uh, Ken, I wonder if you'd have Miss Frazier...

send me a copy of her notes for my files.

Oh, yes. I'll send them over to you first thing in the morning.

- Thanks very much. - I'll open the door.

- It was kind of you to come, Miss Frazier. - Good night.

- Good night. - Good night.

Good night, uh, Mrs. Norton.

Mrs. Norton.

You and- Ha! And Ken.

Say, what's so funny about that?

Well, me for Flatbush.

Flatbush? Say, that's a long way. You won't be home till dawn.

Mmm, and I'm dying on my feet too.

Well, as one secretary to another, why don't you stay at my place for tonight?

- There's plenty of room. - But where?

In my place. In fact, I can put you both up.

- No, I don't think I- - Now, now, no argument.

We all had a narrow escape, and we deserve a good night's rest.

But-But, no. L-

Well, here we are. Make yourselves comfortable.

Oh, what a lovely place this is.

Uh, miss, I, uh- I- We can't do this. It's an imposition.

Oh, not at all. I want you to feel that this is just as much your home as it is mine.

That is, for tonight.

- Oh, he's certainly gone overboard for you, hasn't he? - Yes.

- Look here, miss- - This is the guest room where Kitty will park.

- Yes, yes. - My room connects with the bath over there.

You can undress in the bathroom while Kitty and I make a bed for you on the davenport.

- I know, but- - Yes, you'll need some pajamas too, won't you?

- Well, I'll get you some. - Yes. What I wanted to say was-

Well, these are my ex-husband's. I hope they fit you.

- Get out of here. We're busy. We got work to do. - Wait a minute.

Yes, honey. You'll find some sheets and things in the hallway closet. Be right out.

All right.

Sss! Sss! Come here.

- Jane. - Now you look here.

- You get back in there. You're a guest. Remember- - I want to talk to you.

Listen, shall I waste two sheets on this guy or just double one over?

- Oh, yeah. I'm coming right out. - Now listen.

- This has gone far enough. - No, you go on your way. Get out of here.

Hey, wait a minute. I'll help you.

- Let's tuck it in, huh? - Mm-hmm.

- I wonder if Ken snores. - Believe it or not, I wouldn't know.

Oh, I've been out with him a few times, but I think he's in love with his wife.

Well, then why does he go out with you?

Ugh. That's natural with men, I guess.

Makes 'em feel like they did when they were little boys and stole apples.

Say, you're just a kid, aren't you?

Well, I- I'm not very old.

What does Ken say about his wife?

Ah, not a great deal.

You aren't falling in love with him, are you?

There are times when I think I could, but you saw Ken.

You know, if I had a husband like that, I'd put poison in his coffee.

Ahl To him I'm just a nice fresh slice of watermelon.

Have you ever seen it when it's been taken back to the kitchen? Just an old green rind.

Well, well, the downy couch.

You shouldn't have gone to so much trouble though. I'm not worth it.

- Probably not. - Say, you're lucky that those pajamas fit you.

I don't think much of your ex's taste though.

You're next in the bathroom, Kitty. You'll find cold cream in the cabinet.

I pass. It's all yours. I'm too tired to even take my makeup off.

- Good night. - Good night.

Now listen to me, Jane. This has gone far enough. L-

Night-night.

Listen, Jane.

No, Goliath. Go on. Get down now.

Off the bed, Goliath. Go on. Psh!

Jane?

- Jane? - Yes?

It's-It's cold out there.

Well, find some blankets in the closet.

- I'm lonesome. - Well, find Goliath on the couch.

Listen, if I have to stay in the doghouse much longer, I'll be barking.

Well? Aren't you gonna laugh?

Well, aren't you gonna bark?

Oh, now look here, Jane.

Haven't I had to stay out there long enough?

I won't listen to you.

- And I won't leave until you do. - Suit yourself.

- Jane, you've got this thing all wrong. - Good night.

But you must believe me, darling. You must. You're the only one I want.

No one else matters that much.

- Kitty? - Oh, Kitty. Kitty's just an old slice of watermelon.

Now, how could anybody be jealous of an old slice of watermelon?

- Now look here, Jane. - Now, Ken, I'm not going to stay up all night arguing.

I've gotta get some sleep or I'll be dead at the office tomorrow.

- Oh, hang the office. - Tsk, tsk, tsk.

- Now, Jane, if you would only listen- - Now, Ken, I'm going to sleep.

- You'd better go to sleep, too, before Kitty catches you. - Oh, Jane. L-

Now I'll think it over and tell you in the morning. Good night.

Oh, Jane, I-

No matter what you decide, I'll always love you and you only, and you know it.

Don't you?

Old slice of watermelon, eh?

Ken?

Ken, dear.

Are you still lonesome?

Well, darling, I- I thought it all over...

and decided there's no need for us to wait until breakfast.

We both made mistakes, but I know you're sorry and I am too.

Well, aren't you gonna say something?

Jane, you had no right to do that. That was the dirtiest, rottenest...

most uncalled-for trick any human being ever committed on another.

Well, darling, I meant it.

Meant it? You came in here deliberately and-

Jane, this is the last straw. I've taken plenty, but this is too much.

Young lady, you've gone too far. Oh!

But, darling, I only came in to tell you I was sorry.

- Well, did you have to hit me in the head? - What? Who, me?

Yes, and you sneaked up behind me when my back was turned.

- You've had a nightmare. - Oh, nightmare nothing.

What did you hit me with, a hammer?

- Oh. - Oh. Oh, Ken, your head is cut. You were hit!

- Oh, blood! But look, there's blood. - Oh. Oh.

What's the matter? Why are you standing there? Let's do something!

- Well, then come on. - All right. Oh!

- Oh! What did you do to me now? - What's the matter?

- Oh. Oh, look at that. - Oh, look. Kitty's heel.

She certainly is. Come on. What are we worrying about Kitty for...

when I'm bleeding to death from my hand and my foot?

- Come on. Don't worry. - I know, but it hurts.

- Oh, Jane. Oh, my foot and head- - Come on in. Sit down. I'll fix it for you.

Do my head first, will you?

- Oh! Oh, no, you better do my foot. - All right.

- Oh. All the blood and every- - Well, now take it easy.

- Well, blood never hurt anybody. - Oh!

- And be still, will you? - If I had to be hit by somebody, it should've been by you.

Oh. Oh. That was-

Oh, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven-

Now we'll see about that head.

- Yes, but take it ea- Oh, Jane. - I'm taking it easy. Now be still.

No, but that hurts. There's a big deep hole.

Well, how can I do anything if you keep wiggling? Now cut it out, will you?

- Oh. - There we are. Now, does it feel better?

- Yeah. How does it look? - It looks fine. Swell.

- Kiss me now. - I will not.

Yes, you will too. And furthermore, no more of this daytime wife stuff.

- From now on, you're gonna be my wife all the time.

- Am I? - Mmm, you bet you are. Mmm.