All language subtitles for The.Yard.S01E01.HDTV.err0001.en

Sync by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com

- Okay, we got the cameras up?
- Rolling.

Sound ready? All right,
let's get going. Uh, slate Nick.

So, Nick, uh, do you wanna
tell us how things work around here?

You wanna know how it works
around here? Take a look around.

This is the yard.

This is our world.
It belongs to all of us.

You got your jocks fighting for
space with the rope-skipping crew,

You got your nerds, your dorks,
your popular girls,

your unpopular girls,
the in-betweeners,

all just trying
to do their own thing.

Play what they wanna play.

And in order for that to happen

and all of this shit to go
smoothly, they need a leader.

Right now, that's me.

So, this is my crew--

Basically, the good guys.

That's Johnny. He thinks
he has magical powers, but...

That's Suzi.

She solves a lot of problems
that can't be solved with words,

if you know what I mean.

That's my brother, J.J.

He's one of the smartest kids in school--
Thinks everything can be solved with words.

But it doesn't really work
that way around here.

That's my other brother, Adam.
He's just a little kid.

All he wants to do is play.

That's all most kids want to do,
just play and have snacks.

And that's all it takes
to make most kids happy.

Except for some kids.
Like Frankie and his crew.

They're only happy when they're
making other kids miserable.

Ow! What the...!

There are the brothers, Pork Chop and
Mickey, and their leader, Frankie.

He's a real fucking pain in my ass,
always trying to take me down.

Then there's Frankie's sister,
Mary. Mary's like

the leader of the girls' crew because she's
like the most popular girl in school.

But I don't really get why.

Sure, she's cool
and really smart,

but I have no idea
why the boys like her so much.

But she's the leader
of the girls, so,

even though I don't like it,
I have to put up with her.

It's part of my job.
See, kids playing is like

adults going to work, and my job is
to keep everything going smoothly--

Make sure everyone's doing
what they're supposed to do,

everything's in balance.
'Cause when that doesn't happen,

the whole system falls apart.

You can tell the system's working when the yard is noisy.
A noisy yard is a peaceful yard.

♪ I'm 'a tell you somethin' ♪
♪ I was
on the mic and my shit was killing ♪

♪ Panties on the floor
and the party's done ♪

♪ So I made an invitation... ♪

- Cool.
- ♪ To the ladies in the house ♪

But when the yard gets quiet,
I get nervous.

Morning, boys.

Whatcha got in the bag?

- None of your beeswax.
- Yeah, none of your freakin' beeswax.

- I hate those frickin' guys.
- Don't say the F-word!

- I said frickin', not fuckin'!
- Hey!

What are they doing, Nick?

What do you think they're up to?
Want me to check it out?

- Yeah.
- Hey, Nick! Let me go!

I got my invisibility ring on.
If I activate it, I can walk up

to Frankie and his crew and
he won't even know I was there.

I can give him a wedgie
and he'll think, like,

God gave him a wedgie.
That ring don't work.

Only thing it made disappear is
your brain.

- F-you! - Language.
- Lick my balls.

- Whoa!
- Take it easy, you two.

Johnny, I'm gonna save your invisibility
ring for something more important.

Suzi, you go.

- So, why does Frankie make you nervous?
- 'Cause he's a total douche.

And besides, he already runs
the lunch racket,

so he's already
pretty powerful as is.

The lunch racket?
What is that?

It's the oldest racket
in the book.

It's basically just bullies
taking other kids' lunches,

But Frankie's crew has
turned it into a science.

See, we worked out this schedule so
that each kid gives us their lunches

the exact number of times
as all the other kids do.

That way it's fair for everyone.
And in return, we give 'em protection.

- Protection from what?
- From getting hurt.

- Who would hurt them?
- Well...us.

But only if they don't give us
their lunches.

It's a fair system.
You got a problem with that?

- Yeah, you got a problem with that?
- Uh, no.

Today's the day I'm supposed
to give Frankie my lunch.

But my Mom fell off
the wagowhwheel,

so all I got today is mini-corn
and de-alcoholized beer...

But that's not gonna be
good enough.

I mean, how're they gonna even
open up the can?

But if I don't give Frankie
and his crew something good,

they're gonna beat me up,
and if my mom's boyfriend,

Cameron, finds out
I got beat up at school,

then he's gonna beat me up.
And he hits hard.

So, why do you let
Frankie run the lunch racket?

I don't like it, but it keeps him and
his crew contained to the lunchroom.

And they need to be contained.

If they took control
of the yard,

it'd be a disaster.

What'd you find out?

Frankie's crew...

They got these new
trading cards.

- New Ju-Ji-Mon's?
- Nuh-uh. They're totally new.

They're called Ho-Ping-Kong.
They're exactly like Ju-Ji-Mon,

- only totally different.
- Different how? - Well,

for one thing, they're round!
Awesome!

- Yeah, I know.
- Round cards sound way cooler!

Yeah. Their dad brought 'em back from
Buffalo when he went on a business trip.

Frankie says it's the new big thing.
He says nobody plays Ju-Ji-Mon there anymore.

And their dad brought him
like 50 packs

and they're selling
them for five bucks each.

- Five bucks?!
- Who has that kind of cash?

- Anyone buying them?
- The cool kids are.

- Holy schmoly!
- Two packs. You bought two packs? Why did you do that?

'Cause all the kids were
saying they think they're sick.

- Fuck. You know what this could mean?
- Yeah.

- What could this mean?
- It could mean total chaos.

Frankie's crew could take
control of the yard

and get rich doing it.

It could mean the collapse
of our entire financial system!

You have a financial system?

Well, sure. Every society has
a financial system.

So how does it work?

Well, see, most kids don't
have much money, and never have.

- So we use trading cards.
- For a while,

there was Winnie Wizard Discs.
Before that,

it was Ninja Luck cards.
And then my Dad told me, when he was my age,

kids traded something
called "hockey cards".

Or, like, over a year now,
it's been these Ju-Ji-Mons.

If you want to buy stuff,
or... things,

you use trading cards--
Ju-Ji-Mons.

They're TGCs,
Trading Game Cards.

Kids have contests
with other kids, and if you win,

then you get to keep
the other kid's cards.

This one kid, Alistair,

six months ago,
he was nothing. Nobody.

Nobody could even remember
his name.

But then everyone started playing Ju-Ji-Mons and...
I don't know how to explain it.

Alistair, he had skills.
Mad skills.

Best player in the yard.
He built an empire.

Guess that makes you
my bitch, bitch.

Who you callin' a bitch, bitch?

Ultra Phantom Rare
Sorceress Warlock.

Guess I'm callin'

You my bitch, bitch!

- Ooooh!
- Ungh! Yeah.

- How do you like me now, bitch?
- His success was a beacon

to all the other nerds
in the yard. It gave them hope.

It proved that if you had talent, and
applied yourself, you could become cool.

- Hey, you wanna hear my rap?
- Uh, sure.

♪ Once I was a nerd
I was a fuckin' little dork ♪

♪ Treated like a turd
you wouldn't touch with a fork ♪

♪ Then I started playing cards and
my skills were fuckin' crazy ♪

♪ Now I got all the girls
on my jock like I was crazy ♪

♪ When I walk down the halls
I'm the motherfuckin' man ♪

♪ Why does a dog lick
its balls? ♪

Because it can! Word.

At first, kids just traded
cards for other cards.

But then they started trading
cards for other things.

Like, for instance,
you can trade a bowl of Jell-O

for one Ju-Ji-Mon.

Two Ju-Ji-Mons'll getcha
a plate of fries.

- If you want gravy, that's three cards.
- For four Ju-Ji-Mons,

Danny Steele will
give you a haircut.

For five Ju-Ji-Mons,
I could get you a pellet gun.

Fifteen Ju-Ji-Mons will get you
a porno mag.

Fifty Ju-Ji-Mons,
Patti will hold your hand.

Sixty Ju-Ji-Mons,
I could make a guy disappear.

It was a simple system.
Everyone knew what a Ju-Ji-Mon was worth.

But then things got
a little bit more complex.

Kids started trading cards for
things they didn't even have yet.

Like, say a kid had a Ju-Ji-Mon
another kid really wanted,

and that kid really liked
chocolate pudding.

So, you promise the kid two
of your puddings in the future

for his Ju-Ji-Mon today,

even though the Ju-Ji-Mon is
only worth one.

Some kids would promise
their whole year of puddings

away like that.

- Like, this kid, Charlie.
- Pff! He was fuckin' huge.

He went totally crazy
for Ju-Ji-Mon, and he sold off

almost his entire year's worth
of lunches.

All he had left was...

Carrots.

A lot of kids have sunk everything
they have into Ju-Ji-Mons.

So if all of a sudden
nobody thinks

these cards are cool anymore,
that's gonna hurt a lot of kids,

and not just today,
but into the future.

I'm not saying the system's perfect, but
it's the one we got. And as screwed-up

as it is, it works
in a weird way.

Alistair's popular for once
in his life,

and he's dating Patti, who otherwise
would be way out of his league.

And Charlie's losing weight.
Besides, how do you tell a kid

that the cards he traded for a year's
worth of desserts aren't cool anymore?

Candy gram?

That's not a bad idea.

January, February, March,

April, May, June...

You're returning those cards.

- Whaddaya mean?
- I mean, you're taking

those cards back to Frankie and
tell him you don't want them.

- But I do want them.
- Yeah, well, I say you don't.

But they cost me ten bucks.

Yeah? And where'd you get
that ten bucks from?

You want everyone
to find out about that?

I, um... got...

kinda... a little fuckin'
bladder control problem.

My mom gives me a buck for every
time I don't piss in my bed.

Last month I made
like... 12 bucks.

Oh, come on, Nick.
You wouldn't do that to me!

Look, this isn't just
about what's best for you.

It's about what's best
for all the kids in the yard.

Hey, Cory!

Hey, Cory!

Hold up, we wanna talk to you!

You know what day it is?
It's Cory day!

AKA, cough up what you owe day.

I don't have it right now,
but I'm gonna get it. Honest!

You better have it by lunch.

Or... well,
Pork Chop can explain.

I'll have it, Frankie,
I swear...

Hey! This isn't the lunchroom.
It's the yard. It's my turf.

Maybe for now, Nick.

What you want?
A little of this action?

You know something, Frankie, I would...
if I was a douche, but I'm not, so I don't.

Maybe you should watch your
mouth, or you might wind up

wearing your underwear as a hat, if you
know what I'm saying. I don't get it.

He's saying, I'm gonna take his
underwear, pull it out of his pants...

and then he's gonna stretch
it all the way up, until--

Thanks, guys, but I'm not here to fight.
Just to correct a little mistake.

Suzi here accidentally bought some of these
little cards of yours before realizing

how stupid they are.
Isn't that right, Suzi?

So, she'll give you back
your cards,

you'll give her back her money,
and we'll be on our way.

You're so funny, I forgot to laugh.
No refunds, dick nibbler.

Well, in that case,
I'll have to refund Suzi myself.

What, did your dad finally get
his welfare check?

- Ooooh.
- Ju-Ji-Mons still rule.

- Well, not according to Mona Arizona.
- What?

Yeah, that's right, Nick.
Check out her website.

- ♪ Mona Arizona ♪
- She says Ho-Ping-Kongs

are the new cool cards.

What?
You didn't hear the bell?

J.J.,
this Mona Arizona thing...

Check it out for me.
I still don't get it.

I'll explain on the way in.

Yeah,

I'm pretty heavy
into the Ju-Ji-Mon thing.

I've got the most
of any kid in school.

I spent all my allowance
on them,

I played with them
every single recess.

I've worked my ass off
for every card I've got.

So, yeah,
I'm a little scared right now,

because if Ju-Ji-Mons aren't cool
anymore, I don't know what I'll do.

But no matter what happens,
with Patti by my side,

I can make it through anything.

♪ Well you better run ♪

♪ Somebody's calling you
and you better run ♪

♪ Run when I say ♪
♪ Somebody's calling you ♪

♪ You better run ♪
♪ Run when I say ♪

♪ Somebody's calling you
I feel like... ♪

These Ho-Ping-Kongs
are so cool!

Oh, my God...

Nick? Nick?

Did you see that, Nick?

Those kids are going crazy
for Ho-Ping-Kongs.

Keep your pants on, Alistair.
It's just one table.

This guy in my class
named Leon bought a pack

and he was showing them off
to all the kids

and everybody got so excited

that the teacher took the cards
away.

So that's good, right?
Maybe they'll take them all away.

Mm-mm. Nope. The more teachers confiscate
them, the more kids'll want them.

It'll just drive up the value.
Drive UP the value?

Jesus H. Christ
on a popsicle stick!

I could lose everything.
O.K., hold on, Alistair.

Everything's coming at me
all at once. I need to think.

- Nick, I'm sorry to bother you.
- What is it?

Well, it's my day
to give Frankie my lunch,

- and he's gonna kill me--
- Relax, relax. Here. Take mine.

I lost my appetite, anyway.

- Thanks, Nick. You want this?
- Sure, what the hell.

Thanks, Nick.
I'll find a way to pay you back.

Don't worry about it.

Here you go, Frankie.
Just like I promised.

- The fuck you get this?
- Um, Nick gave it to me. - What the fuck?

- Yeah, Cory, what the fuck?
- Looks like you made quite a mess, Cory.

Maybe you better clean it up. Come on, guys.
Let's go sort this shit out.

Nick, this is the lunch room.
It's not your turf.

Why are you messing
with my business in here?

'Cause you're worried
I'm going to take over the yard

with these Ho-Ping-Kongs?
Why fight it?

It's inevitable.
Tell you what,

I'll cut you a break.
I'll see you some half-price,

'cause I know your family
doesn't have a lot of money.

Hey, shut the fuck up!

- My dad's rich.
- Yeah. His dad's rich as shit!

And if these cards take off,
we're gonna be rich, too.

Yeah, totally rich as shit.

What?
Ow!

What!
Ew...

Heh-heh, more space for me.
Wimps.

- Frankie's so stupid. You wanna know why?
- Yeah, sure.

Cause he's always talking
about how his dad is so rich

and how our dad is so poor,
but you wanna know what?

Uh, what?

Our dad has two jobs
and his dad only has one,

which means our dad is twice
as rich as his dad.

Oh, wait, I forgot.

My dad said I'm not supposed
to sell the cards to losers.

What's up?

Patti?!

How could you?
Ha. Let's get out of here.

- Nick. You gotta help me, Nick.
- Don't worry, Alistair.

Everything's gonna be fine.
It better be, man.

It better be.
Hey. Hey, Nick.

- Whaddaya got, J.J.?
- I got good news

and I got bad news.
Walk with me.

My life is over!

Give me the bad news first.

Well, the grade fives went
to Mona Arizona's website.

It checks out, so they're going
for it, and whatever they do,

the grade threes and fours are
probably gonna copy them.

Shit. That ain't good.

No, and the good news ain't
that good either.

- What is it?
- Well--

Alistair!

- You got a problem?
- How dare you!

The fuck!

Nick, no!

Let me at him!

It's my job to protect Nick, which
means keeping him out of fights.

Don't get me wrong.
I think violence is usually

the only way
to solve any problem.

But in his position,
he can't get personally involved

with these day-to-day dust-ups
in the yard.

I know he really wants to protect
all the kids from getting beatings,

but sometimes it's just better
to let it slide.

And let other people deal
with it.

Oh, my God.

I'm practicing to be a doctor.
I stay out of fights,

but I help kids
when they've been hurt.

Nick tries to protect the kids,
but he can't protect

all the kids all the time,
so that's where I come in.

One of the things that really
sucks about being a leader

is that you can't step
into situations.

Like the thing that happened
with Alistair. If I stepped in,

it would have been a declaration
of all out war.

So, did you say
you had any good news?

Uh... maybe, I just, I don't
know what you can do with it.

What the hell am I supposed
to do with that?

I don't know.
I'm working on it.

Get your cards here.
Five bucks a pack.

Come on, come on,
get your cards.

Are we in a pickle, Nick?

- Yeah, we're in a pickle.
- I think Alistair's got the right idea.

Let's just go over there,
take the cards by force,

and frickin' burn them.
We can't do that.

Take it easy.
Why?

Because then
we're as bad as them.

I can turn them into newts.

Well, you can try.

I think I have an idea.
But it involves a lot of math.

- See ya.
- Okay, so...

J.J.'s plan was...

Well, it was kinda complicated
and kinda risky.

It involved a lot of math.

To tell you the truth,
I didn't understand it at all.

Do you get it?

But what I did understand is
that it involved

me giving all the money I'd saved from
my paper route over the last two years

to a guy who thought
he could turn people into newts.

We had to do something,
and fast,

or else Frankie's crew was going
to take over.

Look, I'm not saying
it was a good plan,

but it was the best plan
we had. But I gotta tell you,

watching Johnny turn on
his invisibility ring

and then seeing him sneak
out of the yard,

it made me feel sick
to my stomach.

Have you seen Johnny?
Is he back yet?

When Johnny wasn't back at the
start of afternoon recess,

I thought
I'd made a huge mistake.

- Is... is he back yet?
- Nope.

Maybe he is back,
only we just can't see him.

Maybe he's at the bakery
using your money

to make donuts disappear.
Nah, Johnny's loyal.

Yeah. But that lunch-box had
like 40 bucks in it.

That kinda cash could
un-loyal anyone.

We shoulda just gone over there,

beat the crap outta them,
and taken the cards.

But no! Nick had to listen
to J.J.'s plan

when violence is the only thing
Frankie and his crew understand.

Look, J.J.'s a good fuckin' kid.

But he's kinda a fuckin' pussy.

The thing is,
J.J.'s a passifirst.

Oh, I think you mean pacifist.

No, I mean passifirst.

It means the first thing he does
in any situation is be passive.

He doesn't understand
that sometimes

you gotta give one kid a wedgie to
save 20 kids from getting wedgies.

Also he's a vegetarian.

Some kids see that
as a weakness.

So when did you decide
to become a vegetarian?

After I read Charlotte's Web
by E.B. White.

- Ah, yes. Great book.
- You've read it?

- Oh, yeah.
- So, you're a vegetarian, too?

- No.
- Huh?

He ain't coming back.

Just give him
a little more time.

- What are you doing here?
- Just going for a slide.

- Oh, uh, hey, Mary.
- Shut up, keep smiling, and listen to what I'm saying.

My brother's taking IOU's
for the cards,

and everyone's going for them.

- Why are you telling me this?
- Why do you think?

No money down, twice the price,

and twice the time to pay.
You can't beat that.

You don't even have to pay
for two whole weeks.

Sign right here.

Initial here.

We're fucked.

This is not good.
Where the hell is Johnny?

We gotta do something, Nick.
That crazy fruitcake Johnny ain't coming back.

- Hey, guys! - What the fuck?
- Mission accomplished.

Holy crap, you actually did it.

Good job, Johnny.
You're a good kid.

Yo. You looking
for some Ho-Ping-Kongs?

Listen up, everybody!
I got an announcement!

Now, there's been a lot of talk

about these new cards,
and here's the deal:

Yes, these cards are cool.

But Ju-Ji-Mons are still cool,
too!

Ju-Ji-Mon and Ho-Ping-Kong are
going to trade at par

Yeah, who says, fart knob?

- Me.
- Whatever, man. Kids still want

Ho-Ping-Kongs, and we're
the only ones who got 'em.

Actually, as it turns out,
that's not entirely accurate.

We got 'em. Tons of 'em.

And we're selling them
for three bucks a pack.

- The fuck did you get those?
- None of your freakin' beeswax.

What the fuck?

I asked around. Talked to a few people.
Then I talked to Wayne Chang.

He's like the Minister of Information
for Asian kids around here.

I found this kid named Kwan whose
uncle is an importer- exporter,

and he had Ho-Ping-Kongs
straight from Korea,

fifty cents a pack.
So I passed this info on to J.J.

It was J.J.'s idea to flood
the market with Ho-Ping-Kong.

Yeah, but it wasn't my intent to make
a profit selling them to the kids.

- Hey. I got expenses.
- What kind of expenses?

Expenses.
Don't worry about it.

Anyway,
like I was saying before,

kids are always gonna
trade cards,

and those cards are
always gonna change

because kids are always going
for the cool new thing.

Yeah, but on the other hand, kids
don't like change. They fear it.

Most kids just wanna fit in and
have what all the other kids have.

Right now,
everyone has Ju-Ji-Mon,

but it looks like the future is
in Ho-Ping-Kong.

We just made it so
the transition is a smooth one.

Yeah,
so nobody gets hurt too bad.

And nobody gets too
rich or too powerful too quick.

Anyway, everything worked out because
everything went back to normal.

Normal and stable.

Kids like stability--

Stability and routine,

like the way recess comes
every day at the same time.

Stability means peace.

Kids like that.
Kids like peace.

- I don't like peas.
- Why not?

Cause I don't like
any vegetables. Period.

He said peace, Johnny.
Not peas.

And cut.

Sync by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com

♪ Well you better run ♪

♪ Somebody's calling you
and you better run ♪

♪ Run when I say ♪
♪ Somebody's calling you ♪

♪ You better run ♪
♪ Run when I say ♪

♪ Somebody's calling you ♪

♪ I feel like
my time ain't long ♪

♪ Time ain't long ♪

♪ Time ain't long ♪

♪ You better run ♪
♪ Somebody's calling you ♪

♪ And you better run... ♪