Original subtitles

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]

Welcome back to Play of the Week,

where each week a new play is performed live in front of a studio audience

here in Cornley, and broadcast to the nation.

I am Chris Bean, the director.

-[CHUCKLES] -[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]

Tonight, we are going to present a truly frightening horror.

Last Halloween, we presented a season of spooky stage adaptations,

but regrettably, due to misprints on our publicity materials,

we ended up presenting a rather underwhelming production

of The Texas Chainsaw Massager...

[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]

In which a masked man went on a rampage,

giving back rubs to the local community.

[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]

Equally poorly received, was our pajama-based production of Nightwear on Elm Street.

[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]

But we're going to put all that behind us tonight.

One tiny note,

when we did our dress rehearsal, the play ran very smoothly,

but just a touch too short for its timeslot.

But do not fear, we have managed to make up those missing three minutes

with the subtle use of additional adjectives.

[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]

So, the actors are prepared.

The stage is set. Please enjoy... The Lodge.

[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]

[EERIE MUSIC PLAYING]

[DOOR CREAKS]

Oh! What an unusual, creepy, old, big, large blue house.

[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]

Alice! Come in out the rain, please!

Oh, wow! This place is amazing.

Well, it's not very homely.

So, how would you like to make this all yours?

Grade-two listed detached family home,

built 1726,

every detail of it immaculately renovated in 1931.

Period fixtures and fittings throughout...

Almost everything here is an antique,

so please, do be careful.

Pretty nice. [SIGHS]

How many bedrooms?

Three. A large, impressive, spacious, elegant, commanding,

beautiful ensuite for yourselves.

A cozy, warm, welcome, nice, bright, safe single for Alice

and a small, sweet, snug, petite, pretty little compact, neat,

charming single.

Perfect for the little one on the way.

[BALLOON BURSTS]

[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]

Well, that sounds great.

Believe me,

you guys do not want to miss out on this opportunity.

Well, I'm convinced.

David, he's just a good salesman.

Shall we take a look in the kitchen?

Are you sure this place is safe?

It looks a bit rickety, all these old beams.

Oh, of course it's safe.

They built this in the days when they made things to last.

As you can see, a fully fitted kitchen.

DAVID: Oh, it's lovely.

I suppose I quite like the tiles.

Yes, can I pour you a tea?

Yes, please.

[SCREAMING]

[SCREAMING]

[SIPS TEA] Oh, that is nice.

Let's go back into the living room.

Here we are.

What on Earth is that?

DAVID: Good Lord, yes.

Oh, pay no attention to that. It belongs to Mr. Fortenoy.

Don't worry. It won't be here when you move in.

-Now? -No, not now, wait for your cue.

Mummy, look what I've got!

Alice! What have I told you about running off without an adult?

I was skipping with the other little girl.

What other little girl?

ALICE: Outside.

There's no one there.

ALICE: [LAUGHS] Yes, there is.

She gave me this.

How odd, strange, bizarre, and weird.

Where did you find that?

She must have found it in the spacious, impressive, verdant, green garden

surrounding the unusual, creepy, old, big, large blue house.

No, Mummy. There was a little girl.

Alice, how old are you?

Seven.

And is that your skipping rope?

Yes.

Why don't you show Tony what you can do?

-Can you do any tricks? -No.

How would you like to see your new room?

Can I?

Don't forget your new doll.

That's strange. It's gone.

Well, it can't have gone far.

Come on, Alice, I'll race you.

[ALICE GIGGLING]

[SCREAMS]

[TONY SCREAMS]

[THUDS]

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

Well, it really is coming down out there.

So what do you think?

I still don't know, David.

I mean, there's something about this place that just gives me the creeps,

and it seems unusually cheap for three bedrooms.

That's the advantage of being a few miles further out.

-[SIGHS] -[ELECTRICITY BUZZING]

Damn lights have blown.

Damn lights have blown.

DAVID: It's just a fuse.

EMMA: Or this place is cheap because it's old and nothing works.

Good evening.

Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.

Oh, no. Not at all.

I'm Albert Fortenoy.

DAVID: The vendor?

Unfortunately, yes.

"Unfortunately"?

I wish I didn't have to sell.

My dear wife Vera passed away 30 years ago.

Thirty years ago today, in fact.

I can no longer afford the upkeep all on my own.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Well, it's a beautiful house.

Thank you. I've lived here... All my life!

I feel very safe here.

It's been in the family since it was built.

Passed down for gen... Passed down.

Passed... Passed down.

Pa... Passed down.

Passed down! Passed down for generations!

If these walls could talk,

think of the stories they'd tell.

In fact, sometimes, I think they can.

Sometimes, I think I hear them whisper.

MAN OVER PA: Stand by for sound-cue seven.

Well, thank you very much for having us.

I think we've seen everything we need to see. We'd best get going.

Yes, dear. Come along, Alice!

Well, don't rush off on my account.

It's getting rather late.

And there is...

A storm coming!

Sound-cue seven!

-[THUNDER RUMBLING] -Yeah.

No, we really ought to make a move.

It's a fair drive home.

I'll bring the car round.

Well, before you go,

let's talk about making an offer. [CHUCKLES]

Whoa!

Oh! Oh, no! [SCREAMING]

That's odd.

-What is? -Car won't start.

What a damn nuisance.

We'll have to call someone.

You'll never get a mechanic to come

all the way out here now, dear.

[SCREAMING] Get out!

Get out!

No! No! Not now!

She said, "Now, deer."

Wait for your cue!

So what do we do now?

Well, it looks like you'll have to stay the night.

Oh, no, no, no, we wouldn't want to be an imposition.

It's no trouble at all.

Besides, in this weather, what choice do you have, but to stay

at the lodge.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]

He's got a point.

It's far too far to walk back to town.

Well, that's very kind of you.

Oh, please, it'll be good to have the company.

There's plenty of room.

Thank you.

The little one can stay in Vera's cozy, warm, welcoming, bright, nice, safe study.

Help yourself to anything in the kitchen

and there's some old nightclothes in the airing cupboard.

You have free run of the house.

Although, you should be aware,

Fortenoy Lodge has a few little quirks

which I'm sure you'll discover.

But then again,

don't we all?

[CHUCKLES]

Sleep well.

[LAUGHS]

[MOTOR STOPS]

[LAUGHS AWKWARDLY]

[SCREAMING]

[LAUGHING AWKWARDLY]

[CONTINUES LAUGHING]

[ACTORS TALKING HURRIEDLY IN WHISPERS]

[ACTORS TALKING HURRIEDLY IN WHISPERS]

Is she asleep?

Out like a light.

DAVID: No. No.

No bother?

Some nonsense about another little girl in the mirror.

That girl's imagination.

It will be good once she's got a little brother to play with.

[BALLOON BURSTS]

Yes.

Well, anyway, she's fast asleep now.

I made the bed up.

Oh, thank you, dear.

Get out!

Get out!

No! No! What are you doing?

She said, "Cue deer."

She said, "Thank you, dear."

-Get out! Get out! -No! No! Shut up!

I will give you a visual cue.

I really don't like that Mr. Fortenoy.

He gives me the creeps.

I'm sure he's just a bit eccentric.

Imagine being alone in this place all these years.

Anyway, time for bed.

Looks like we're bunking in with Tony tonight.

No, no, no, no. Tony!

Tony? Time for bed.

Fast asleep.

Fast asleep!

Fast asleep.

Chuck a blanket over him.

Oh, for goodness sake, all right.

David, uh, look at this.

A newspaper article from 1937.

God, there's dozens of them.

Fourth of June 1948,

"Vicar's daughter missing from school, presumed dead." David,

her doll looks just like the one Alice found earlier.

Every single page catalogued in perfect order,

all detailing people who've just vanished right up until the present day.

Why would he keep all of this?

I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable explanation.

I knew there was something odd about that man.

What do you think he's doing up there?

He's probably trying to get some sleep,

and I'd like to do the same.

Ever since we've arrived, I have had a bad feeling about this place.

Get away from there!

David, I can see him!

[BLABBERING]

What are you doing?

Get out. We're in the middle of filming.

All right.

David! He's doing something very strange in there.

It's some sort of ritual.

It's not our place to judge a man's religious beliefs.

I'm sure there's nothing to worry about.

Yes, I'm... Oh!

Yes, I... I'm sure you're right.

Gosh!

It really is coming down out there.

Then just be glad we're inside.

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

[VOICES WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

[GRAMOPHONE PLAYING EERIE MUSIC]

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

[GASPS]

FORTENOY: Only me.

Only me.

What are you doing up at this hour?

I thought I heard a strange noise.

It's most likely a bat.

They often flit about the place at night.

You know, in this light, you remind me a little of my Vera.

She and I always wanted a child.

When is it due?

Um...

Any day now.

[BALLOON BURSTS]

I'd give anything to see my Vera again.

To have her safely back at...

The lodge.

Perhaps I will see her again.

-[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS] -There it is! The lodge!

Perhaps, I will see her again.

One day.

[WOMAN SCREAMS]

What was that?

It came from Vera's cozy, warm, welcoming, nice, bright, safe study.

Oh! Oh my God, Alice?

David, wake up!

[SCREAMING]

She's missing.

Oh my God!

Get out!

-Get out! -No! No, what are you doing?

You touched your nose.

I was acting!

Very convincing.

We must search the house.

Where is she? What have you done with our daughter?

Nothing at all.

David, let's not jump to any conclusions.

-Mummy. -[GASPS]

Why is everyone shouting?

Oh, Alice, thank God! Come here, my darling!

[STRAINED VOICE] Mummy's got you.

Mummy has got you. It's all going to be okay.

Where were you?

I was just talking to the other little girl.

Alice, stop making things up. There is no other little girl.

[CHUCKLES] Yes, there is.

She's the Vicar's daughter, and she told me Tony needs help.

[EERIE MUSIC PLAYING]

I'm sorry.

He's dead.

[SNEEZES]

Alice, go to your room.

-[SCREAMS] -[THUDS]

You'll be safe in there.

The man was clearly unwell.

He'd been taking those pills since we arrived.

Let's afford the man a little dignity at least.

Let's all go back to bed.

We can call the police in the mor...

-Whoo! -Let's all go back to bed,

and we can call the police in the morning.

What on Earth are you talking about?

We can't wait till morning.

Wait... Stop it. Stop it!

We can't wait until morning.

We need to call them now.

Hello? Yes, police.

I'd like to report a death.

Would they even risk coming out in a storm like this?

[SIGHS IN RELIEF]

Oh!

We think it may have been an overdose.

Yes, the address is Fortenoy Lodge, ten miles outside of...

Hello?

Hello?

It's gone dead.

-You've cut the line. -Yes, I have!

Nothing can be done for Tony now.

How can you be so callous?

A man has died.

[GASPS]

Oh my God, he's gone!

Vera has taken him.

That's why you cut the line.

That's why you cut...

That's why you cut the line.

That's why you cut the line!

And you've sabotaged our car.

Tony could never have left this place alive.

Nor can anyone, for that matter.

Not when my Vera's life depends on it.

What are you talking about, man?

There really is nothing I wouldn't do to see my wife again.

And when enough blood has been spilled,

my Vera shall return.

[LAUGHS MANIACALLY]

[GUN CLICKS]

[LAUGHS AWKWARDLY]

[CONTINUES LAUGHING]

[BLABBERING]

[SCREAMING]

Bang!

Not long now, my love!

Soon we shall be reunited.

Ha-ha!

[BOTH GRUNTING]

[BOTH GRUNTING]

Emma! Tie him to the chair, I've got him!

No, you haven't!

-Yes, I have! -No, you haven't.

You have to let me get you.

If you want to get me, you've got to get me, come on!

Stop that. Get in the chair!

You're weak, Chris.

[GRUNTS]

Sorry, that was too much. All right.

He got me.

Get out!

Get out!

No! You get out!

AUDIENCE: Oh!

Shut up.

[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]

Ooh!

Argh!

I'm all right.

Mummy!

The Vicar's daughter said the angry lady is coming.

We have to leave now.

The whole house is screaming it.

[GASPS]

Dennis!

Dennis! Get in! Get in!

Get in!

Get in!

-No! "Get out"! -Okay, okay, sorry.

No! Get in!

Get in!

No! Say, "Get out!"

Say get out!

Don't say, "Say get out," just, "Get out!"

-Okay, right, I'm sorry. -No!

Get back in, Dennis!

-No, get out! -All right! All right!

-Dennis, come back! -Dennis, come back!

-Oh, just forget it! -Just forget it!

Go away, you idiot!

Go away, you idiot!

-Get out! -Get out!

-There it is. -Yes! Nailed it.

Alice, please! There is no angry lady!

[GIGGLES] Of course there is, silly.

She's right there!

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

Gone. She's vanished without a trace.

GHOSTLY FEMALE VOICE: You will die!

The rain has turned to hail!

Daddy!

"Expect more...

"Boides."

MAN: Oh, no.

We need to get out of here!

It's locked.

It's locked.

I'm afraid there is no way out of...

The lodge.

[CALYPSO MUSIC PLAYS]

[MUSIC STOPS]

Mummy, I'm scared.

Quickly, this way.

We can hide in the kitchen!

DAVID: Quickly, close the door.

[SLAMMING]

Hand me that knife from the counter.

[EMMA EXCLAIMS]

Get in the cabinet.

Don't make a sound.

[LAUGHING]

Where are you?

Are you under the table?

No.

Are you in the pantry?

No.

Then you must be in here!

[ALL SCREAMING]

[GRUNTING]

You'll never take my family, Fortenoy!

[GRUNTS]

[GASPS]

[YELLING]

David, no!

Don't kill him.

No one else has to die.

You're right.

[SCREAMING]

I can feel myself changing!

Vera is merging with me!

My Vera!

My Vera!

Albert, is that you, my love?

It is, my sweet! With one more life, you shall be reborn.

Behold your new body.

-[GRUNTING] -[SCREAMING]

No!

[SCREAMING]

[CONTINUES SCREAMING]

[GROANING]

[SCREAMING]

[SCREAMING]

You're doing far too much there, Chris.

Please don't hurt me, Mummy!

-Your mummy is dead. -Your mummy has gone.

-My love is dead! -My love is dead!

-And now I will have my revenge. -And now I shall... I will have my revenge!

Revenge! Go, go, go!

[SCREAMING]

Help me! Help me!

POLICEMAN: Ah-ha!

No need to panic. I'm here now.

I'm... I'm here.

Ah, yes, I... I'm...

I'm going to kill her.

Help me! I really need help right now!

Right, yes. Just hold on. Hold on one minute.

I kind of have no other option now.

I'm going to kill her.

Ha-ha-ha! It's happening.

In three... Two... One...

And a half, and...

Argh!

-I've stabbed her. It's done. It's happened. -[GROANING]

Ah-ha!

[GUNSHOT SOUND EFFECT PLAYS]

[GRUNTS]

Oh!

You're safe now.

Here, take my hand.

Let's get you out of this damned place.

Everything's going to be okay.

Oh!

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]