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Hello! Merry Christmas,
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00:00:14,765 --> 00:00:17,184
and welcome back
to Play of the Week,
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00:00:17,184 --> 00:00:19,811
where each week a new play
is performed live
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00:00:19,811 --> 00:00:22,439
in front of a studio audience
here in Cornley
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00:00:22,439 --> 00:00:24,608
and broadcast to the nation.
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00:00:24,608 --> 00:00:27,778
-I am Chris Bean,
the director.
-[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
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And I'm thrilled to present
tonight's Christmas play.
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00:00:32,074 --> 00:00:34,117
-Before we begin,
let's meet the...
-Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris...
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00:00:34,117 --> 00:00:36,245
-Yes.
-What noise
does a reindeer make?
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00:00:36,245 --> 00:00:38,080
Clearly a matter
for rehearsals, Dennis.
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00:00:38,830 --> 00:00:40,791
Before we begin,
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00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:43,252
let's meet
the star of the show.
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00:00:43,252 --> 00:00:44,670
Ladies and gentlemen,
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00:00:44,670 --> 00:00:48,715
please put your hands together
for Father Christmas.
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00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:50,425
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
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00:00:50,425 --> 00:00:54,554
SANTA:
Ho, ho, ho, merry Christmas.
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00:00:54,554 --> 00:00:56,890
I've come all the way
from Lapland
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00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:58,767
with my favorite two elves,
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00:00:58,767 --> 00:01:00,227
Nistle and Nostle!
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00:01:00,227 --> 00:01:01,645
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
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00:01:02,980 --> 00:01:04,982
Well, we've got
just enough time
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00:01:04,982 --> 00:01:06,358
before the main event
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00:01:06,358 --> 00:01:09,695
to meet some children from...
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00:01:09,695 --> 00:01:11,613
the local area.
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00:01:11,613 --> 00:01:13,031
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
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00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:16,368
All right, so who have we got.
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00:01:16,368 --> 00:01:19,288
Right... Grace.
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Grace, what would you like
for Christmas, Grace?
29
00:01:21,498 --> 00:01:22,874
I'm not Grace.
30
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Why are you looking
at me, then?
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Don't make eye contact
if you're not Grace.
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00:01:25,836 --> 00:01:27,629
-[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
-Who's Grace?
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Right, okay,
what do you want for Christmas?
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00:01:29,548 --> 00:01:30,924
An Xbox.
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00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:32,217
An Xbox?
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00:01:32,217 --> 00:01:34,011
Are you sure that's the gift
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00:01:34,011 --> 00:01:37,097
you prearranged
with the producers?
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00:01:37,639 --> 00:01:38,724
Yes.
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[LAUGHS] Oh, ho, ho, ho,
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I think the producers agreed
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00:01:44,896 --> 00:01:47,399
there was a £15 limit
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and you'd be getting a copy
of Robert Groves'
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Anything You Can Act,
I Can Act Louder,
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00:01:53,238 --> 00:01:56,450
now with diagrams.
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And it's even signed
by the author, you see?
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"To Grace."
47
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That says "Grate."
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So sorry.
Let's fix that, shall we?
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There we are.
50
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Now it says "ungrateful."
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Right, let's do another.
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-What do you want
for Christmas?
-PlayStation.
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00:02:16,928 --> 00:02:18,805
Right, no games consoles.
54
00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:21,016
That's not the budget
we're working with.
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00:02:22,434 --> 00:02:24,770
Have an acting book.
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00:02:24,770 --> 00:02:27,189
Right. What would you like
for Christmas, little girl?
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-I'm a boy.
-Oh, who chose these?
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All right, that's clearly
enough of that.
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00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:34,946
Let's get on with the show.
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00:02:34,946 --> 00:02:37,032
The actors are prepared,
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00:02:37,032 --> 00:02:39,284
the stage is set.
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Please enjoy
"The Spirit of Christmas."
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SANTA: Dreadful section.
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-[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
-[CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYING]
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[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
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NARRATOR:
One Christmas Eve,
not long ago
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a sweet little girl
built a man out of snow.
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She sighed as she played
in the cold winter air
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00:03:12,067 --> 00:03:14,403
for she had some worries
she needed to share.
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Hello, Mr. Snowman,
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you're going to be
my best friend.
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[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
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And I won't say that again!
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00:03:31,128 --> 00:03:32,504
What do you want me
to do, Maude?
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00:03:32,504 --> 00:03:34,589
I've been running errands
all day for you,
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00:03:34,589 --> 00:03:36,258
picking up all the food.
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It's 8:00
and I've still got to prepare
all this for tomorrow.
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00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:40,846
Fine. What can I do to help?
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00:03:40,846 --> 00:03:42,848
Cut up these chicken breasts,
will you?
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[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
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Try not to make
a mess of it.
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00:03:59,489 --> 00:04:00,991
I see you got
the cheap sausages.
83
00:04:04,369 --> 00:04:07,622
-Daddy, can we do a cracker?
-Of course we can.
84
00:04:07,622 --> 00:04:09,082
The crackers are for tomorrow.
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00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:10,417
Maude, just let her
pull a cracker.
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00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:12,377
It's Christmas Eve,
for goodness sake!
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00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:16,173
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
88
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[BOTH SCREAM]
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00:04:23,346 --> 00:04:25,265
Why don't you decorate
the tree?
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00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:26,600
Oh, can we?
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00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:27,851
I'll do the baubles
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00:04:27,851 --> 00:04:30,604
-and you can do the tinsel.
-[GIGGLES]
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MAUDE: Make sure
you spread it out evenly,
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00:04:40,238 --> 00:04:42,240
I don't want it
looking silly.
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00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:44,993
Oh, no, where's the...
Where's the star?
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00:04:44,993 --> 00:04:46,745
Oh, I can't see it.
97
00:04:46,745 --> 00:04:49,331
What? You've lost
my grandmother's star?
98
00:04:49,331 --> 00:04:51,625
I haven't lost it,
I just can't find it
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00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:53,752
I can't trust you
with anything, can I?
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00:04:53,752 --> 00:04:55,045
You know what,
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00:04:55,045 --> 00:04:57,964
I think I need some air.
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[SNIFFS]
When is Daddy coming back?
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I don't know, darling.
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00:05:06,932 --> 00:05:08,391
Can I sleep
downstairs tonight
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so I can wish him
a happy Christmas
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00:05:09,684 --> 00:05:10,769
when he comes home?
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00:05:10,769 --> 00:05:12,729
Of course you can,
sweetheart.
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00:05:12,729 --> 00:05:14,648
And I'll put out
some sherry for Santa.
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00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:19,486
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING]
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♪ Dear Santa
Can you help me?
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♪ I am feeling sad today
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♪ I've been good
I've been kind
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♪ I've been helpful
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♪ But my cheer has gone away
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♪ Dear Santa
Can you help me?
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♪ I don't know what to do
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♪ If I promise to be better
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00:05:46,471 --> 00:05:49,516
♪ Would you make
my wish come true?
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♪ I don't want
to ride a reindeer
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♪ Or a sunny holiday
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Bring it down.
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00:05:58,024 --> 00:06:00,860
♪ I don't want
a Christmas party
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♪ Or a present
from your sleigh
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00:06:05,740 --> 00:06:08,952
[HIGH-PITCHED]
♪ Dear Santa
Can you help me?
125
00:06:08,952 --> 00:06:12,038
♪ I'm feeling oh, so blue
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00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:15,208
♪ Dear Santa, Dear Santa
Dear Santa
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00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:18,086
♪ Could you make my wish
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[NOTE FALLS FLAT]
♪ Come true! ♪
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[EXHALES]
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[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
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NARRATOR:
Away went Belle's letter,
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high up in the sky.
133
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She just had to wait now
for Santa's reply.
134
00:06:41,610 --> 00:06:43,361
Would he have the answer?
135
00:06:43,361 --> 00:06:45,155
Could this do the trick?
136
00:06:45,155 --> 00:06:48,074
Belle put her trust
in kindly Saint Nick.
137
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She lay down her head,
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00:06:50,660 --> 00:06:53,330
her heart full of care,
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dreaming that Santa
would answer her prayer.
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00:06:56,374 --> 00:06:59,169
SANTA:
Ho, ho... [GROANS]
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00:07:00,629 --> 00:07:01,963
Oh, come on!
142
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My sack's caught
on the flue.
143
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NISTLE:
You can't say that.
144
00:07:07,510 --> 00:07:10,180
SANTA: Of course I can,
it's a literal sack.
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Not talking about
my balls, am I?
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SANTA: [GROANS] Okay,
now my actual sack is caught.
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[BANGING]
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NISTLE: Robert? Robert.
SANTA: [GRUNTING]
Be careful.
149
00:07:22,317 --> 00:07:23,818
NISTLE: Be careful, Robert!
150
00:07:23,818 --> 00:07:25,403
[SANTA SCREAMING]
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00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:30,367
[ALL GRUNT]
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[SANTA GRUNTING]
153
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[CONTINUES GRUNTING]
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Hand me the gifts.
155
00:07:44,506 --> 00:07:45,507
[GROANS]
156
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Bloody acting books!
[PANTING]
157
00:07:51,554 --> 00:07:52,972
Oh, sorry.
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00:07:58,144 --> 00:07:59,813
Come out! [PANTING]
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00:08:04,609 --> 00:08:05,819
[BOTH SCREAM]
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00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:10,782
Wake up, dear one.
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00:08:14,119 --> 00:08:16,413
-Santa?
-Ho, ho, ho!
162
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That's right.
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I received your letter,
Belle,
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00:08:19,374 --> 00:08:21,793
and it moved me greatly.
165
00:08:21,793 --> 00:08:22,919
Are you sad, Belle?
166
00:08:23,461 --> 00:08:24,963
I am, Santa.
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00:08:24,963 --> 00:08:26,339
Belle's sad.
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00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:28,049
-Aw!
-AUDIENCE: Aw!
169
00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:30,218
What are you doing?
170
00:08:30,218 --> 00:08:31,845
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
171
00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:33,304
Do not participate.
172
00:08:36,391 --> 00:08:37,559
Unbelievable.
173
00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:40,645
God, I just feel
so dreadfully low.
174
00:08:40,645 --> 00:08:41,730
That just won't do!
175
00:08:41,730 --> 00:08:42,814
But don't worry,
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00:08:42,814 --> 00:08:44,315
because I've brought
my two elves
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00:08:44,315 --> 00:08:45,483
to come and help you.
178
00:08:45,483 --> 00:08:48,403
Come along, Nistle!
Come along, Nostle!
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NISTLE: Here I come!
[CHIMES]
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00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:52,615
Hello, Santa!
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00:08:54,117 --> 00:08:56,161
NOSTLE: And here I come!
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00:08:56,161 --> 00:08:57,662
[CHIMES]
183
00:08:58,747 --> 00:09:01,124
NOSTLE: I'm coming.
[THUMPING]
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00:09:01,124 --> 00:09:02,542
I'm on my way.
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00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:05,503
Almost.
186
00:09:05,503 --> 00:09:07,547
Al... [THUMPING CONTINUES]
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00:09:08,465 --> 00:09:09,466
Ah.
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00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:11,593
I shall remain.
189
00:09:13,678 --> 00:09:15,930
SANTA: Nistle and Nostle
are the happiest two el...
190
00:09:15,930 --> 00:09:17,724
Two elves in all of Lapland.
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That's because
we're the closest of friends
192
00:09:22,145 --> 00:09:23,897
and wherever
you see Nistle...
193
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:26,733
NOSTLE: You're sure
to see Nostle!
194
00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:28,610
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING]
195
00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:31,613
♪ We're Nistle
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00:09:31,613 --> 00:09:32,739
♪ And Nostle
197
00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:34,949
♪ The closest of friends
198
00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:36,826
♪ When we're both together
199
00:09:36,826 --> 00:09:38,870
NOSTLE:
♪ The fun never ends
200
00:09:38,870 --> 00:09:41,331
♪ If I'm feeling rotten
201
00:09:41,331 --> 00:09:43,208
NOSTLE: ♪ Never despair!
202
00:09:43,208 --> 00:09:46,878
♪ 'Cause Nostle will lift me
up in the air!
203
00:09:51,508 --> 00:09:53,885
♪ When Nistle goes
204
00:09:53,885 --> 00:09:55,678
-NOSTLE: ♪ Nostle goes
-[MUFFLED CLAP]
205
00:09:55,678 --> 00:09:58,097
♪ And when Nistle goes...
206
00:09:58,097 --> 00:09:59,849
-NOSTLE: ♪ Nostle goes...
-[MUFFLED CLAP]
207
00:09:59,849 --> 00:10:02,477
-♪ And when Nistle goes
-[BELLS CHIMING]
208
00:10:02,477 --> 00:10:03,561
NOSTLE: ♪ Nostle goes ♪
209
00:10:03,561 --> 00:10:04,562
[BANGS] Ah!
210
00:10:07,357 --> 00:10:08,691
Hey! [THUDS]
211
00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:15,240
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
212
00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:22,956
SANTA: Well. That was good.
213
00:10:24,249 --> 00:10:27,043
Ah, Belle,
I see you've left me
some sherry.
214
00:10:27,043 --> 00:10:28,586
How delightful.
215
00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:31,464
[GROANS]
216
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:34,509
It's real sherry.
217
00:10:35,927 --> 00:10:37,554
And some mince pies.
218
00:10:37,554 --> 00:10:38,805
Delicious!
219
00:10:43,351 --> 00:10:45,019
Delicious.
220
00:10:45,019 --> 00:10:46,479
But Belle, you said
in your letter
221
00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:49,357
you don't feel
the spirit of Christmas
this year.
222
00:10:49,357 --> 00:10:50,817
That's right, Santa.
223
00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:53,069
Aw, well, this is serious.
224
00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:55,154
Why don't you both
have a mince pie?
225
00:10:55,154 --> 00:10:57,323
And I'll have another nip
of sherry
226
00:10:57,323 --> 00:10:59,742
and we'll solve
our troubles together.
227
00:10:59,742 --> 00:11:01,578
Yes, we will!
228
00:11:01,578 --> 00:11:03,037
[SANTA CHUCKLES]
229
00:11:05,456 --> 00:11:06,541
[MUMBLING]
230
00:11:06,541 --> 00:11:07,542
Just another nip.
231
00:11:10,044 --> 00:11:11,379
Just a couple more nips.
232
00:11:12,422 --> 00:11:13,715
Just a couple more nips.
233
00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:16,467
That's a lot of nips.
234
00:11:16,467 --> 00:11:18,553
-[STAMMERS] Are you
really going to help me, Santa?
-I will, in a minute.
235
00:11:18,553 --> 00:11:20,638
I'm just working
on something else
quite complicated here.
236
00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:25,476
Ah! Stop it! Stop! Stop!
237
00:11:26,311 --> 00:11:27,729
Right, get out of the way!
238
00:11:34,485 --> 00:11:36,321
That really was
too many nips.
239
00:11:39,282 --> 00:11:41,618
-Santa?
-Hmm? Yes.
240
00:11:41,618 --> 00:11:44,704
Well, in difficult times
what you need is
241
00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:46,998
a magfastic fagical friend.
242
00:11:47,957 --> 00:11:50,376
A fanfastic magifal...
243
00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:53,046
A fantastic vaginal friend.
244
00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:54,631
A friend. A friend.
245
00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:57,800
Perhaps an old friend
of mine
246
00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:00,219
can be
a new friend of yours.
247
00:12:00,219 --> 00:12:02,055
[MUSIC STARTS]
248
00:12:06,434 --> 00:12:08,603
SINGER:
♪ When you're feeling blue,
249
00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:11,648
♪ When you're all alone,
250
00:12:12,857 --> 00:12:16,069
♪ When you don't know
what to do
251
00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:19,572
♪ And you're on your own
252
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:22,408
♪ All you need
is a good friend
253
00:12:22,408 --> 00:12:25,745
♪ A brand-new Christmas chum
254
00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:29,040
♪ He'll get you smilin'
and singin'
255
00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:31,960
♪ And stop you feeling glum
256
00:12:34,212 --> 00:12:37,215
♪ Ho, ho, ho!
He, he, he!
257
00:12:37,215 --> 00:12:40,843
♪ Let's all be merry and gay!
258
00:12:40,843 --> 00:12:43,805
♪ He, he, he!
Ho, ho, ho!
259
00:12:43,805 --> 00:12:46,391
♪ A new friend's on his way!
260
00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:49,894
-♪ Ho, ho, ho!
-SANTA: Shh. Tommy,
261
00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:52,230
I can take it from here.
262
00:12:52,230 --> 00:12:55,274
[DRUNKENLY]
♪ Ho, ho, ho!
He, he, he!
263
00:12:55,274 --> 00:12:57,110
♪ Let's all be merry and gay!
264
00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:58,361
Everybody!
265
00:12:58,361 --> 00:13:00,154
-♪ He, he, he!
-AUDIENCE: ♪ He, he, he!
266
00:13:00,154 --> 00:13:01,781
-♪ Ho, ho, ho!
-AUDIENCE: ♪ Ho, ho, ho!
267
00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:03,074
♪ A new friend's...
268
00:13:03,074 --> 00:13:04,242
[SHOUTING] Go on! Go on!
269
00:13:04,242 --> 00:13:05,326
♪ Way
270
00:13:05,326 --> 00:13:07,412
Oh, you've missed it now.
271
00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:09,205
You missed it.
That's the end.
You say it there.
272
00:13:09,747 --> 00:13:10,832
Right now...
273
00:13:10,832 --> 00:13:12,166
Right now,
we're going to do it.
274
00:13:12,166 --> 00:13:15,003
We'll do it, "On his way."
Three, four...
275
00:13:15,003 --> 00:13:17,672
-♪ On his...
-AUDIENCE: ♪ On his way...
276
00:13:17,672 --> 00:13:19,674
Terrible.
Absolutely terrible.
277
00:13:19,674 --> 00:13:20,758
Again.
278
00:13:20,758 --> 00:13:22,385
♪ On his...
279
00:13:22,385 --> 00:13:23,761
AUDIENCE: ♪ Way
280
00:13:23,761 --> 00:13:25,596
No, it's a D Flat.
281
00:13:27,515 --> 00:13:30,143
♪ On his...
282
00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:32,311
AUDIENCE: ♪ Way ♪
283
00:13:32,311 --> 00:13:33,813
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
284
00:13:35,023 --> 00:13:36,399
We'll call it there
285
00:13:38,568 --> 00:13:39,861
Don't patronize me.
286
00:13:45,742 --> 00:13:47,910
Right, let's meet a new friend.
287
00:13:58,337 --> 00:14:00,006
Right, stand back everyone.
288
00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:02,008
Get ready to see some magic!
289
00:14:03,426 --> 00:14:04,802
[CHIMES]
290
00:14:04,802 --> 00:14:06,179
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
291
00:14:18,566 --> 00:14:20,526
Hello, Santa!
292
00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:22,153
Hello, Mr. Snowman!
293
00:14:22,153 --> 00:14:24,405
Merry Christmas,
my old friend.
294
00:14:24,405 --> 00:14:26,240
Well, if you've called on me,
295
00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:29,118
that must mean someone's lost
their Christmas cheer.
296
00:14:29,118 --> 00:14:31,496
That's right.
Come inside and meet Belle!
297
00:14:31,496 --> 00:14:33,623
I'll have to be careful
I don't melt!
298
00:14:33,623 --> 00:14:35,124
Oh, get over yourself.
299
00:14:35,124 --> 00:14:36,709
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
300
00:14:44,675 --> 00:14:46,886
[EXCLAIMS]
301
00:14:48,679 --> 00:14:49,764
Hello, Belle!
302
00:14:49,764 --> 00:14:51,224
Hello, Mr. Snowman!
303
00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:53,184
It's very nice to meet you!
304
00:14:53,184 --> 00:14:55,853
I'm going to be
your new best friend!
305
00:14:55,853 --> 00:14:56,938
Give me a hug!
306
00:14:56,938 --> 00:14:58,356
Yay!
307
00:14:58,356 --> 00:14:59,982
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
308
00:15:07,365 --> 00:15:10,409
We're going to
have so much fun!
309
00:15:10,409 --> 00:15:12,370
We can play together.
310
00:15:12,370 --> 00:15:16,040
Every day's an adventure
in the snow.
311
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:18,042
This is not
your best work, Chris.
312
00:15:20,128 --> 00:15:22,505
I'm always happy
to make a new friend.
313
00:15:22,505 --> 00:15:25,424
There we go, Belle.
Don't you feel better now?
314
00:15:25,424 --> 00:15:27,552
Yes, thank you, Santa.
315
00:15:27,552 --> 00:15:30,096
Much, much better. [SOBS]
316
00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:33,182
Oh, don't cry.
317
00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:36,435
Us elves don't like it
when people cry.
318
00:15:36,435 --> 00:15:38,187
NOSTLE:
I can't bear to look.
319
00:15:39,856 --> 00:15:41,440
I'm sorry.
320
00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:44,694
It seems like nothing
can bring back
my Christmas cheer.
321
00:15:44,694 --> 00:15:46,112
[SOBBING]
322
00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:49,949
Sometimes everyone feels sad.
323
00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:52,160
Denise left me.
324
00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:57,290
I've not gotten over that.
325
00:15:59,250 --> 00:16:01,377
I'm sure I can cheer
Belle up, Santa.
326
00:16:01,377 --> 00:16:03,379
Most of the time I'm fine
and then...
327
00:16:05,381 --> 00:16:06,924
bam!
328
00:16:07,675 --> 00:16:08,926
It hits you.
329
00:16:11,345 --> 00:16:13,639
I'm always happy.
330
00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:15,433
Why? You're
essentially enslaved.
331
00:16:17,226 --> 00:16:20,479
Why don't you take a look at
what gifts Santa has brought
332
00:16:20,479 --> 00:16:22,315
and see
what there is for you?
333
00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:43,920
[STAMMERS] Can we help you?
334
00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:45,755
No! No it's fine.
335
00:16:45,755 --> 00:16:46,839
I've got it.
336
00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:47,882
I've practiced this.
337
00:16:53,262 --> 00:16:54,263
[GRUNTS]
338
00:17:00,061 --> 00:17:01,437
Yeah!
339
00:17:01,437 --> 00:17:02,605
There!
340
00:17:03,189 --> 00:17:04,899
It's a new doll!
341
00:17:07,526 --> 00:17:11,614
Aw, thank you, Mr. Snowman.
342
00:17:11,614 --> 00:17:13,157
It says on my list
343
00:17:13,157 --> 00:17:15,743
that dolls
aren't Belle's favorite toy.
344
00:17:15,743 --> 00:17:18,579
-This calls
for the toy machine.
-Of course!
345
00:17:18,579 --> 00:17:20,373
We can make it appear
by magic!
346
00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:21,624
Can't we, Nostle?
347
00:17:21,624 --> 00:17:23,751
NOSTLE: I think
I'm running out of air!
348
00:17:25,002 --> 00:17:26,545
That's right!
349
00:17:33,344 --> 00:17:35,304
-Ready, Nostle?
-NOSTLE: Ready!
350
00:17:35,304 --> 00:17:37,098
Here we go.
351
00:17:37,098 --> 00:17:39,267
[MUSIC PLAYING]
352
00:17:51,487 --> 00:17:52,613
Three.
353
00:17:52,613 --> 00:17:53,698
NOSTLE: Two.
354
00:17:53,698 --> 00:17:54,699
One!
355
00:17:56,325 --> 00:17:57,660
[MUSIC FADES]
356
00:17:57,660 --> 00:17:59,287
[AUDIENCE EXCLAIMING]
357
00:18:00,037 --> 00:18:01,998
Wow!
358
00:18:01,998 --> 00:18:04,834
This is
the magical toy machine.
359
00:18:04,834 --> 00:18:07,044
It can make anything
you can dream of.
360
00:18:07,044 --> 00:18:09,630
Any toy imaginable.
361
00:18:09,630 --> 00:18:11,090
Not rude stuff, obviously.
362
00:18:12,258 --> 00:18:13,551
Tell me, Belle,
363
00:18:13,551 --> 00:18:16,387
what are your favorite things
in the world?
364
00:18:17,054 --> 00:18:18,639
Unicorns!
365
00:18:18,639 --> 00:18:21,309
I think we can manage that,
can't we, Nostle?
366
00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:23,644
NOSTLE: My legs are numb!
367
00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:26,397
[NOSTLE EXCLAIMS]
368
00:18:28,858 --> 00:18:29,942
And here we go.
369
00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:31,235
[MACHINERY WHIRRING]
370
00:18:40,036 --> 00:18:42,038
[MACHINERY SQUEAKING]
371
00:18:42,830 --> 00:18:44,332
Here we are.
372
00:18:54,508 --> 00:18:56,469
One unicorn.
373
00:18:56,469 --> 00:19:00,639
Oh, he's...
He's beautiful.
374
00:19:00,639 --> 00:19:03,392
And it's time for us
to be on our way.
375
00:19:03,392 --> 00:19:06,270
Of course. Lots more toys
to be delivered!
376
00:19:06,270 --> 00:19:07,855
But look, Santa,
377
00:19:07,855 --> 00:19:09,273
Belle's still crying.
378
00:19:09,857 --> 00:19:11,192
[SOBS]
379
00:19:11,192 --> 00:19:13,402
What is it now?
What a drain.
380
00:19:14,653 --> 00:19:16,947
Christmas is hard
for all of us, you know.
381
00:19:16,947 --> 00:19:18,449
Where are my gifts?
382
00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:20,117
Think about that.
383
00:19:21,535 --> 00:19:23,245
What's wrong, Belle?
384
00:19:23,245 --> 00:19:24,914
Oh, I'm sorry.
385
00:19:24,914 --> 00:19:26,207
Thank you.
386
00:19:26,207 --> 00:19:28,209
I love my new friend,
387
00:19:28,209 --> 00:19:31,670
and my new doll
and my new unicorn...
388
00:19:31,670 --> 00:19:34,382
but I just still
don't feel very happy.
389
00:19:42,598 --> 00:19:43,808
Something else
must be wrong.
390
00:19:43,808 --> 00:19:45,017
Something else
must be wrong!
391
00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:46,435
Come on guys, switch on!
392
00:19:48,687 --> 00:19:49,939
MAUDE: Belle?
393
00:19:49,939 --> 00:19:51,232
What's all that noise?
394
00:19:51,232 --> 00:19:53,067
Oh, it's Mummy! Hide!
395
00:19:53,067 --> 00:19:54,735
SANTA: Quickly,
behind the curtains.
396
00:20:07,248 --> 00:20:09,083
Belle?
397
00:20:09,083 --> 00:20:10,418
Are you awake, darling?
398
00:20:14,588 --> 00:20:16,173
Sleep well, sweetheart.
399
00:20:16,173 --> 00:20:17,174
[GASPS]
400
00:20:29,103 --> 00:20:30,104
[PHONE RINGS]
401
00:20:31,313 --> 00:20:33,524
Lawrence...
402
00:20:33,524 --> 00:20:35,568
When are you coming back?
It's gone 10:00.
403
00:20:35,568 --> 00:20:36,777
What do you mean you're not?
404
00:20:36,777 --> 00:20:38,737
It's Christmas Eve
and we're all alone.
405
00:20:40,823 --> 00:20:42,283
Belle's counting on you.
406
00:20:42,950 --> 00:20:44,410
I'm counting on you.
407
00:20:47,455 --> 00:20:48,873
Merry Christmas, Belle.
408
00:20:51,792 --> 00:20:54,587
Now I know
why you're so sad.
409
00:20:54,587 --> 00:20:56,213
Oh, Belle,
410
00:20:56,213 --> 00:20:59,133
family is
the most important thing
in the world,
411
00:20:59,133 --> 00:21:01,844
especially at Christmas.
412
00:21:01,844 --> 00:21:04,221
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING]
413
00:21:04,221 --> 00:21:06,891
♪ I'm a snowy old snowman
414
00:21:06,891 --> 00:21:10,019
♪ With carrot nose
and twig hands
415
00:21:10,019 --> 00:21:12,146
♪ But I cannot deny
416
00:21:12,146 --> 00:21:14,315
♪ That I adore
417
00:21:15,191 --> 00:21:18,152
♪ A family by the fire
418
00:21:18,152 --> 00:21:19,987
♪ It's all that I require
419
00:21:19,987 --> 00:21:21,238
NOSTLE: Oh, no! [SCREAMS]
420
00:21:21,238 --> 00:21:24,950
♪ Christmas is
a time worth melting for
421
00:21:26,660 --> 00:21:31,790
♪ Every snowflake
is a tiny piece of winter
422
00:21:31,790 --> 00:21:37,004
[SHOUTING] ♪ Each gust of wind
a breath from winters old
423
00:21:37,004 --> 00:21:41,967
♪ Now summer's disappeared
without a whimper
424
00:21:41,967 --> 00:21:47,014
♪ But you're not alone
to face the cold
425
00:21:47,014 --> 00:21:50,392
♪ For if a snowy old snowman
426
00:21:50,392 --> 00:21:52,686
♪ With carrot nose
and twig hands
427
00:21:52,686 --> 00:21:56,982
♪ Is all we need
to see the winter through
428
00:22:00,110 --> 00:22:03,989
♪ Is all we need
to see the winter through ♪
429
00:22:06,951 --> 00:22:08,702
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
430
00:22:14,667 --> 00:22:16,544
Did you enjoy that, Belle?
431
00:22:19,004 --> 00:22:21,590
Not even that lifted my spirit.
432
00:22:22,091 --> 00:22:23,259
Lifted mine.
433
00:22:26,011 --> 00:22:28,055
Do your parents
fight a lot, Belle?
434
00:22:28,055 --> 00:22:30,849
[EXHALES] My mummy
and daddy fight all the time.
435
00:22:30,849 --> 00:22:33,018
And the truth comes out!
436
00:22:33,018 --> 00:22:37,064
I don't want presents
or even friends,
437
00:22:37,064 --> 00:22:40,442
all I want is
for my parents to be happy.
438
00:22:40,442 --> 00:22:42,987
It's like Nostle always says.
439
00:22:42,987 --> 00:22:44,863
NOSTLE: I'm horribly burned.
440
00:22:46,907 --> 00:22:49,285
I just don't know
what else we can try.
441
00:22:49,285 --> 00:22:51,161
My buttons are made of biscuits.
442
00:22:52,329 --> 00:22:54,248
We could all eat those.
443
00:22:54,248 --> 00:22:56,083
Thank you, Mr. Snowman!
444
00:23:15,394 --> 00:23:16,854
Mmm.
445
00:23:19,523 --> 00:23:20,858
[GASPS]
446
00:23:21,567 --> 00:23:23,110
Did that taste good?
447
00:23:26,113 --> 00:23:27,114
Yes.
448
00:23:29,241 --> 00:23:31,285
Didn't make you happy though,
did it?
449
00:23:32,119 --> 00:23:33,871
I'm afraid not, Nistle.
450
00:23:33,871 --> 00:23:36,874
Of course it didn't.
She just ate a plastic button
off his pants.
451
00:23:38,751 --> 00:23:41,253
Oh, Santa, remember,
452
00:23:41,253 --> 00:23:43,756
we have still have presents
to deliver tonight,
453
00:23:43,756 --> 00:23:45,174
all over the world.
454
00:23:45,174 --> 00:23:47,134
I'm sorry, Belle.
Nipple's right.
455
00:23:47,134 --> 00:23:48,469
We have to go.
456
00:23:48,469 --> 00:23:50,137
Come on, Nozzle.
457
00:23:50,137 --> 00:23:52,640
NOSTLE: We must return
to the chimney.
458
00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:55,768
You're already in
the chimney, you fool.
459
00:23:55,768 --> 00:23:57,561
The sleigh's
in the garden anyway.
460
00:23:57,561 --> 00:23:59,229
None of this play
makes sense.
461
00:24:00,272 --> 00:24:02,691
I shall return to the snow.
462
00:24:04,151 --> 00:24:06,278
This is not
your best work, Chris.
463
00:24:07,905 --> 00:24:10,991
-Santa! It's time to leave.
-Hmm!
464
00:24:10,991 --> 00:24:12,159
Goodbye, Belle.
465
00:24:12,159 --> 00:24:13,452
Merry Christmas.
466
00:24:14,495 --> 00:24:15,496
Oh!
467
00:24:18,999 --> 00:24:21,960
Oh, Santa, now you look sad.
468
00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:25,297
I've never failed
to bring Christmas cheer
to a little one before.
469
00:24:25,297 --> 00:24:27,216
It is a sad, sad Christmas.
470
00:24:27,216 --> 00:24:31,053
And we've never known
the magical toy machine
not to work.
471
00:24:31,053 --> 00:24:32,888
What a car crash.
472
00:24:32,888 --> 00:24:35,182
-[CHIMES]
-But Santa, look!
473
00:24:45,484 --> 00:24:46,652
Sleep tight, Belle.
474
00:24:47,361 --> 00:24:48,529
Lawrence?
475
00:24:48,529 --> 00:24:50,072
Look what I found.
476
00:24:50,072 --> 00:24:51,699
Is that the Christmas star?
477
00:24:55,619 --> 00:24:56,745
Yes.
478
00:24:58,288 --> 00:25:00,958
Oh, thank you
so much, darling.
479
00:25:00,958 --> 00:25:02,876
It must have fallen out
on the garden path
480
00:25:02,876 --> 00:25:04,545
when I was bringing in
the decorations.
481
00:25:08,424 --> 00:25:09,925
Splendid.
482
00:25:09,925 --> 00:25:12,052
Now it really feels
like Christmas.
483
00:25:14,346 --> 00:25:16,807
Mummy? Daddy!
484
00:25:16,807 --> 00:25:18,142
Oh, sorry, Belle.
485
00:25:18,142 --> 00:25:19,727
I didn't mean to wake you.
486
00:25:19,727 --> 00:25:21,061
Have you stopped fighting?
487
00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:22,980
Yes, Belle.
488
00:25:22,980 --> 00:25:24,189
Yes, we have.
489
00:25:26,108 --> 00:25:28,277
I'm sorry I lost my temper.
490
00:25:28,277 --> 00:25:30,529
I thought you were fighting
because of me.
491
00:25:30,529 --> 00:25:32,698
Of course not, sweetheart.
492
00:25:32,698 --> 00:25:34,950
I'm sorry
for arguing with you, darling.
493
00:25:34,950 --> 00:25:36,577
[MAN GROANS]
494
00:25:38,787 --> 00:25:41,540
Christmas isn't a time
for fighting.
495
00:25:41,540 --> 00:25:44,752
It's a time for love,
kindness and understanding.
496
00:25:44,752 --> 00:25:46,295
SANTA: You stupid man.
497
00:25:46,295 --> 00:25:47,880
I hope you have
a bad Christmas.
498
00:25:49,590 --> 00:25:52,676
NISTLE: Oh, Santa.
Look how happy Belle is now!
499
00:25:52,676 --> 00:25:55,554
Perhaps we weren't
needed here after all.
500
00:25:55,554 --> 00:25:58,599
All she needed was
the love of her mother and...
501
00:25:58,599 --> 00:26:00,642
Oh, this is saccharine crap.
502
00:26:02,186 --> 00:26:05,689
Give it six months,
he'll be living in his car
like I am.
503
00:26:08,567 --> 00:26:10,652
Don't feel bad,
it's a Honda Civic.
504
00:26:10,652 --> 00:26:13,113
Right, time for bed,
I think,
505
00:26:13,113 --> 00:26:14,990
or Santa won't come!
506
00:26:14,990 --> 00:26:17,284
I'm already here, you idiot!
507
00:26:18,994 --> 00:26:20,204
[MIMICS CURTAINS CLOSING]
508
00:26:22,331 --> 00:26:23,749
Merry Christmas, Belle.
509
00:26:27,795 --> 00:26:30,964
Oh, thank you, Santa!
510
00:26:30,964 --> 00:26:32,132
Thank you, Belle.
511
00:26:32,132 --> 00:26:33,467
Let's have another one
of those sherries.
512
00:26:33,467 --> 00:26:36,011
No, I don't think
that I should.
513
00:26:36,011 --> 00:26:37,346
I'm only a little girl.
514
00:26:37,346 --> 00:26:38,764
You're 26.
515
00:26:39,973 --> 00:26:42,184
Right, come on.
Final hurdle, here we go.
516
00:26:42,184 --> 00:26:44,478
[STUTTERS] What have
you learned?
517
00:26:44,478 --> 00:26:48,524
Well, I've learned that
at Christmas
518
00:26:48,524 --> 00:26:51,235
I don't need presents
and toys.
519
00:26:51,235 --> 00:26:53,987
As long as I have
my family in my heart,
520
00:26:53,987 --> 00:26:56,031
I know I'll be happy.
521
00:26:56,031 --> 00:26:57,950
Have you learned anything
tonight, Santa?
522
00:27:00,077 --> 00:27:02,037
Not really.
523
00:27:02,037 --> 00:27:05,040
-Nothing?
-No, I'll tell you
one thing I have learnt.
524
00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:08,293
Christmas, ultimately,
commercial holiday.
525
00:27:09,419 --> 00:27:11,505
Who's the real winner
at Christmas?
526
00:27:11,505 --> 00:27:13,465
I'll tell you who.
Amazon.
527
00:27:15,759 --> 00:27:18,595
They have drones now.
528
00:27:18,595 --> 00:27:21,348
Tiny little dystopian sleighs
529
00:27:21,348 --> 00:27:24,226
delivering iPads
and headphones.
530
00:27:24,226 --> 00:27:25,561
I ordered a toaster,
531
00:27:25,561 --> 00:27:28,438
it was on the doorstep
five hours later.
532
00:27:29,439 --> 00:27:30,899
Do we need that?
533
00:27:31,608 --> 00:27:33,193
It was 4.99.
534
00:27:35,237 --> 00:27:37,489
For a toaster!
535
00:27:37,489 --> 00:27:40,325
I mean, someone's
being exploited there,
aren't they?
536
00:27:40,325 --> 00:27:41,410
Santa, I think we should...
537
00:27:41,410 --> 00:27:43,328
I know! I know!
538
00:27:46,874 --> 00:27:49,418
I expect you're all going
to write in, aren't you?
539
00:27:49,418 --> 00:27:51,295
Typical BBC audience.
540
00:27:51,295 --> 00:27:52,629
Nothing better to do
541
00:27:52,629 --> 00:27:55,465
than sit around complaining
about my conduct.
542
00:27:55,465 --> 00:27:56,675
Well, this time
just leave it.
543
00:27:56,675 --> 00:27:57,968
All right? Leave it.
544
00:27:58,802 --> 00:28:00,721
Don't cut away. [GROANS]
545
00:28:02,472 --> 00:28:05,100
We've had enough complaints
this series,
546
00:28:05,100 --> 00:28:06,810
no one even reads them
anymore.
547
00:28:06,810 --> 00:28:07,895
Do you know
what we do with them?
548
00:28:07,895 --> 00:28:09,479
We burn them.
549
00:28:09,479 --> 00:28:12,274
In a massive weekly bonfire
in the car park.
550
00:28:12,274 --> 00:28:15,569
Which ironically generates
a lot of complaints.
551
00:28:15,569 --> 00:28:17,738
Santa, I think we should go.
552
00:28:17,738 --> 00:28:18,906
Oh, yes, walk away!
553
00:28:18,906 --> 00:28:20,449
-Just like Denise!
-NISTLE: Oh!
554
00:28:26,455 --> 00:28:28,248
Am I giving
a good performance?
555
00:28:29,333 --> 00:28:32,461
Aw! Bye-bye, Santa.
556
00:28:32,461 --> 00:28:34,087
Wow. Hint taken.
557
00:28:35,839 --> 00:28:36,840
Let's roll.
558
00:28:40,177 --> 00:28:41,553
Hello, Rudolph.
559
00:28:47,392 --> 00:28:49,311
Chris, you're having
a shocker.
560
00:28:52,230 --> 00:28:55,484
-Bye, Belle!
-Bye, Santa!
561
00:28:55,484 --> 00:28:56,818
Are you ready, Rudolph?
562
00:28:56,818 --> 00:28:59,655
Clearly a matter
for rehearsal, Dennis.
563
00:29:02,991 --> 00:29:04,159
Remember, little ones,
564
00:29:04,159 --> 00:29:06,578
if you're ever worried
about a thing,
565
00:29:06,578 --> 00:29:07,829
I'll come to your house.
566
00:29:09,998 --> 00:29:13,251
A merry Christmas to all
and to all a good night.
567
00:29:21,551 --> 00:29:24,429
NARRATOR:
Belle's family were reunited.
568
00:29:24,429 --> 00:29:26,765
They were full
of festive cheer.
569
00:29:27,474 --> 00:29:29,309
All looking forward
570
00:29:29,309 --> 00:29:31,603
to a happy new year.
38472
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