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1
00:00:04,337 --> 00:00:06,381
[man on radio]
…it looks good on the northwest toll.
2
00:00:06,464 --> 00:00:08,675
Eastbound traffic is moving
nicely this morning
3
00:00:08,758 --> 00:00:10,885
from Meecham Road all
the way down to River Road.
4
00:00:10,969 --> 00:00:12,679
Westbound, there's now
a 20-car backup
5
00:00:12,762 --> 00:00:14,472
at the Devon Avenue Toll.
6
00:00:14,556 --> 00:00:17,559
And on the Northbound I290
extension at Thorndale Avenue,
7
00:00:17,642 --> 00:00:19,227
we had a spinout there,
8
00:00:19,310 --> 00:00:21,438
and that car was blocking
the right-hand lane
9
00:00:21,521 --> 00:00:25,358
and also blocking the lane
that's coming off of the, uh,
10
00:00:25,442 --> 00:00:28,111
eastbound Thorndale Avenue
entrance ramp
11
00:00:28,194 --> 00:00:31,614
leading to the northbound,
uh, I-290 extension.
12
00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:34,034
This was causing
a backup to Irving Park.
13
00:00:34,117 --> 00:00:34,951
We have--
14
00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:38,830
[alarm blaring]
15
00:00:38,913 --> 00:00:40,165
Come on, chop, chop,
we got relatives
16
00:00:40,248 --> 00:00:41,541
invading this afternoon.
17
00:00:41,624 --> 00:00:44,335
Ginny, Mike, Sara,
Sam, come on.
18
00:00:44,419 --> 00:00:45,253
Everybody up.
19
00:00:45,754 --> 00:00:48,548
♪♪
20
00:00:48,631 --> 00:00:50,049
Oh, I think
I have a fever.
21
00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:52,093
You don't have
a fever.
22
00:00:52,177 --> 00:00:53,052
Shut your face.
23
00:00:53,136 --> 00:00:54,387
Make me.
24
00:00:54,471 --> 00:00:55,346
[phone ringing]
25
00:00:55,430 --> 00:00:57,057
Dad,
Mike hit me!
26
00:00:57,140 --> 00:00:58,266
You liar!
27
00:00:58,349 --> 00:00:59,350
Mike, come on, pal.
28
00:00:59,434 --> 00:01:00,351
We got a wedding tomorrow.
29
00:01:00,435 --> 00:01:01,811
Try to cooperate, will you?
30
00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:03,354
Dad, I didn't hit her.
31
00:01:03,438 --> 00:01:05,523
I'd like to very much
and I probably will later,
32
00:01:05,607 --> 00:01:07,400
but give me a break.
33
00:01:07,484 --> 00:01:08,318
You know my method.
34
00:01:08,610 --> 00:01:10,653
I don't hit her when you're
just down the hall.
35
00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:12,072
Pick on someone your own size.
36
00:01:15,241 --> 00:01:16,451
Open this door.
37
00:01:17,827 --> 00:01:20,789
Daddy, I'm the one
getting married.
38
00:01:20,872 --> 00:01:21,706
Not until tomorrow.
39
00:01:21,790 --> 00:01:23,958
Come on,
I got a mouthful of toothpaste.
40
00:01:24,042 --> 00:01:26,294
I happen to have
a serious problem.
41
00:01:28,129 --> 00:01:29,005
Dad?
42
00:01:29,088 --> 00:01:30,340
She got her period.
43
00:01:30,423 --> 00:01:32,342
Should make for an interesting
honeymoon, huh?
44
00:01:32,425 --> 00:01:34,135
Where are you
learning that stuff?
45
00:01:34,219 --> 00:01:35,136
School.
46
00:01:36,221 --> 00:01:37,388
Good.
47
00:01:37,472 --> 00:01:38,807
Getting my money's worth.
48
00:01:39,349 --> 00:01:40,183
[man on radio] Fantastic.
49
00:01:41,100 --> 00:01:41,935
Just great.
50
00:01:42,018 --> 00:01:44,103
What a great crowd
and it was so much fun.
51
00:01:44,187 --> 00:01:46,397
♪ It's a good thing you don't
have bus fare ♪
52
00:01:46,481 --> 00:01:48,441
♪ It would fall through
the hole in your pocket ♪
53
00:01:48,525 --> 00:01:51,277
♪ And you'd lose it in the snow
on the ground ♪
54
00:01:51,361 --> 00:01:54,197
♪ You got to walk into town
to find a job ♪
55
00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:57,200
♪ Trying to
keep your hands warm… ♪
56
00:01:57,283 --> 00:02:00,537
Chronologically,
you're 16 today.
57
00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:02,080
Physically…
58
00:02:03,623 --> 00:02:04,707
…you're still 15.
59
00:02:06,626 --> 00:02:07,669
[sighing]
60
00:02:10,505 --> 00:02:11,422
Hopeless.
61
00:02:15,051 --> 00:02:15,885
Nope.
62
00:02:16,302 --> 00:02:19,222
I look exactly the same
as I have since summer.
63
00:02:19,305 --> 00:02:21,307
Utterly forgettable.
64
00:02:21,391 --> 00:02:24,435
No, I didn't expect to wake up transformed.
65
00:02:24,519 --> 00:02:26,938
I just thought that
turning 16 would be so major
66
00:02:27,021 --> 00:02:29,274
that I'd wake up with an
improved mental state
67
00:02:29,357 --> 00:02:30,692
that would
show on my face.
68
00:02:31,484 --> 00:02:34,070
All that shows is that I don't
have any sort of a tan left.
69
00:02:36,447 --> 00:02:37,782
I better get downstairs.
70
00:02:37,866 --> 00:02:39,200
My family's probably pissed off
I haven't let them
71
00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:41,119
wish me
happy birthday yet.
72
00:02:41,911 --> 00:02:43,621
All right,
I'll see you at school.
73
00:02:49,419 --> 00:02:52,547
You need four inches of
bod and a great birthday.
74
00:02:55,258 --> 00:02:56,426
[horn honking]
75
00:02:56,509 --> 00:02:57,969
-Where's my briefcase?
-Where'd you leave it?
76
00:02:58,052 --> 00:02:59,429
Don't be a smart-ass.
77
00:02:59,512 --> 00:03:01,139
-Okay, I'll be a dumb-ass.
-You already are!
78
00:03:01,222 --> 00:03:02,640
[clattering]
79
00:03:02,724 --> 00:03:03,975
Okay, where's Sam?
80
00:03:04,058 --> 00:03:05,602
-Where's my briefcase?
-Sam!
81
00:03:05,685 --> 00:03:06,728
Allow me, Brenda.
82
00:03:06,811 --> 00:03:08,605
Hey, birth defect!
83
00:03:09,439 --> 00:03:11,107
You missed breakfast again.
84
00:03:11,190 --> 00:03:12,525
It wasn't my idea to give
her her own phone line.
85
00:03:12,609 --> 00:03:14,193
I don't have
my own phone line.
86
00:03:15,194 --> 00:03:16,112
Grab a doughnut.
87
00:03:16,195 --> 00:03:17,113
[horn honking]
88
00:03:17,196 --> 00:03:18,573
It's totally infected.
89
00:03:18,656 --> 00:03:20,909
It's small, it's brown,
it's made of leather,
90
00:03:20,992 --> 00:03:21,993
it has my
initials on it.
91
00:03:22,076 --> 00:03:23,202
And I believe--
that's it.
92
00:03:23,286 --> 00:03:24,120
[horn honking]
93
00:03:24,203 --> 00:03:26,748
Don't forget, the grandparents
are coming this afternoon.
94
00:03:26,831 --> 00:03:28,291
Are we still having
dinner with the Rice Chex?
95
00:03:28,374 --> 00:03:29,334
Rizczechs.
96
00:03:29,417 --> 00:03:30,752
8:00 at the club.
97
00:03:30,835 --> 00:03:32,378
Oh, and you better learn
their names.
98
00:03:32,462 --> 00:03:33,922
As of tomorrow,
they're family.
99
00:03:34,005 --> 00:03:35,423
That's a lovely thought.
100
00:03:35,506 --> 00:03:38,176
When it comes your turn to get
married, do me a favor--
101
00:03:38,259 --> 00:03:39,260
elope.
102
00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:41,221
-Who'd marry her?
-Mr. T.
103
00:03:41,304 --> 00:03:42,388
Oh, I'm sorry.
104
00:03:42,472 --> 00:03:43,932
You'll have to
buy lunch today.
105
00:03:44,015 --> 00:03:45,558
I didn't have time to fix
your carrots.
106
00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:46,935
Yeah, well,
she's only eating carrots
107
00:03:47,018 --> 00:03:48,811
to increase the size
of her breasts.
108
00:03:49,354 --> 00:03:50,480
Mister, you had
better shape up
109
00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:52,357
or you will miss
your sister's wedding.
110
00:03:53,149 --> 00:03:53,983
Promise?
111
00:03:57,987 --> 00:04:00,990
Now don't give me that
pouty look of yours.
112
00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:03,326
You can eat your
carrots when you get home.
113
00:04:03,618 --> 00:04:04,786
That's it?
114
00:04:04,869 --> 00:04:07,413
You don't have anything else
to say to me today?
115
00:04:08,539 --> 00:04:10,416
What would you
like me to say, Sam?
116
00:04:11,501 --> 00:04:12,460
Come on now, honey.
117
00:04:12,543 --> 00:04:14,003
You're gonna miss the bus.
118
00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:15,088
Have a good day.
119
00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:20,301
I can't believe this.
120
00:04:20,385 --> 00:04:22,428
They fucking
forgot my birthday.
121
00:04:22,512 --> 00:04:24,013
♪♪
122
00:06:22,006 --> 00:06:23,508
[girl] I'm sure they didn't
forget your birthday.
123
00:06:23,591 --> 00:06:25,510
They just didn't remember it
right away.
124
00:06:25,593 --> 00:06:27,553
Same difference.
125
00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:29,263
I know it's a drag
that you're Sweet 16's
126
00:06:29,347 --> 00:06:30,973
the day before Ginny gets
married, but big deal.
127
00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:32,100
They'll remember.
128
00:06:32,183 --> 00:06:33,518
Oh, easy for you
to say.
129
00:06:33,601 --> 00:06:34,852
Did anyone ever
forget your birthday?
130
00:06:34,936 --> 00:06:36,270
Come on, Sam.
131
00:06:36,354 --> 00:06:37,939
Everything's
just getting shittier.
132
00:06:38,022 --> 00:06:40,525
My family forgetting my birthday
just makes it more vivid.
133
00:06:40,608 --> 00:06:42,777
What do you expect,
a breakfast birthday party?
134
00:06:42,860 --> 00:06:44,862
No, but they could have at
least said happy birthday.
135
00:06:44,946 --> 00:06:47,573
I mean, it was
just like any other day.
136
00:06:47,657 --> 00:06:49,367
Why don't you
remind them?
137
00:06:49,450 --> 00:06:50,451
They'll feel
some massive guilt.
138
00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:51,953
It could be highly
profitable.
139
00:06:52,036 --> 00:06:54,497
I wouldn't
stoop to remind them.
140
00:06:54,580 --> 00:06:56,916
Since I was about 12, I've been
looking forward to my Sweet 16,
141
00:06:56,999 --> 00:06:59,210
you know, a big party
and a band
142
00:06:59,293 --> 00:07:01,295
-and tons of people.
-And tons of people.
143
00:07:01,379 --> 00:07:02,755
And a big Trans-Am
in the driveway
144
00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:04,507
with a ribbon around it.
145
00:07:04,590 --> 00:07:07,593
And some incredibly gorgeous guy
that you meet like in France.
146
00:07:07,677 --> 00:07:08,636
And you do it on a cloud
147
00:07:08,719 --> 00:07:09,720
without getting pregnant
or herpes.
148
00:07:09,804 --> 00:07:11,389
I don't need the cloud.
149
00:07:11,472 --> 00:07:12,598
Oh, just a pink Trans-Am
and the guy, right?
150
00:07:12,682 --> 00:07:13,891
-Black one.
-Black guy?
151
00:07:13,975 --> 00:07:14,934
A black Trans-Am.
152
00:07:15,017 --> 00:07:16,477
A pink guy.
153
00:07:16,561 --> 00:07:17,478
[school bell ringing]
154
00:07:17,562 --> 00:07:18,980
Oh, no.
155
00:07:19,063 --> 00:07:20,731
♪ To those nice
nice nights ♪
156
00:07:20,815 --> 00:07:23,401
♪ I remember always ♪
157
00:07:23,484 --> 00:07:26,988
♪ Always
I got such a fright ♪
158
00:07:27,071 --> 00:07:30,199
♪ Seeing them in my
dark cupboard ♪
159
00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:33,202
♪ With my great big cake ♪
160
00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:36,164
♪ If they were me
if they were me ♪
161
00:07:36,247 --> 00:07:39,333
♪ And I was you
and I was you ♪
162
00:07:39,417 --> 00:07:42,378
♪ If they were me
if they were me ♪
163
00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:45,590
♪ And I was you
and I was you ♪
164
00:07:45,673 --> 00:07:48,301
♪ If they were me
and I was you ♪
165
00:07:48,384 --> 00:07:50,553
♪ Would you have
liked a present, too? ♪
166
00:07:57,852 --> 00:08:00,855
♪ Happy, happy birthday
in a hot bath ♪
167
00:08:00,938 --> 00:08:04,108
♪ To those nice
nice nights ♪
168
00:08:04,192 --> 00:08:10,239
♪ I remember always
always I got such a fright ♪
169
00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:13,284
♪ Seeing them in my
dark cupboard ♪
170
00:08:13,367 --> 00:08:16,370
♪ With my great big cake ♪
171
00:08:16,454 --> 00:08:19,373
♪ If they were me
if they were me ♪
172
00:08:19,457 --> 00:08:22,376
♪ And I was you
and I was you ♪
173
00:08:22,460 --> 00:08:25,713
♪ If they were me
if they were me ♪
174
00:08:25,796 --> 00:08:28,633
♪ And I was you
and I was you ♪
175
00:08:28,716 --> 00:08:31,469
♪ If they were me
and I was you ♪
176
00:08:31,552 --> 00:08:34,764
♪ Would you have
liked a present, too? ♪
177
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:50,988
♪ Happy birthday
happy birthday ♪
178
00:08:53,574 --> 00:08:56,452
♪ Happy birthday
happy birthday ♪
179
00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:57,578
[yawning]
180
00:08:59,830 --> 00:09:02,583
♪ Happy birthday
happy birthday ♪
181
00:09:05,795 --> 00:09:09,298
♪ Happy birthday
happy birthday ♪
182
00:09:12,134 --> 00:09:15,596
♪ Happy birthday
happy birthday ♪
183
00:09:18,307 --> 00:09:21,686
♪ Happy birthday
happy birthday ♪
184
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:25,731
♪ Happy… ♪
185
00:09:25,815 --> 00:09:27,733
You swear to God
you don't have it?
186
00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:29,527
I don't know
anything about it.
187
00:09:29,610 --> 00:09:31,821
Jennifer Woods gave me a sex
test during Child Development
188
00:09:31,904 --> 00:09:33,447
and I was supposed to do it
and pass it to you
189
00:09:33,531 --> 00:09:35,074
in Independent Study.
190
00:09:35,157 --> 00:09:36,826
I'm totally screwed.
191
00:09:36,909 --> 00:09:38,494
Did you put
your name on it?
192
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:40,288
-Hi, Sam.
-Hi.
193
00:09:40,371 --> 00:09:42,123
No, but it was
really embarrassing.
194
00:09:42,206 --> 00:09:44,542
I had to name who I'd do it with
if I ever did it.
195
00:09:44,625 --> 00:09:46,627
Who'd you name?
196
00:09:46,711 --> 00:09:49,005
-Jake Ryan.
-Jake Ryan?
197
00:09:49,088 --> 00:09:51,007
He doesn't even
know you exist.
198
00:09:51,090 --> 00:09:52,300
Thank you.
199
00:09:52,383 --> 00:09:53,509
That's a very
nice thing to say.
200
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:55,261
I'm sorry, but Jake Ryan?
201
00:09:55,344 --> 00:09:56,596
He's a senior
and he's taken.
202
00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:58,306
I mean, really taken.
203
00:09:58,389 --> 00:09:59,724
I know.
204
00:09:59,807 --> 00:10:01,100
It was supposed to be
my ideal.
205
00:10:01,183 --> 00:10:02,518
He's ideal for sure,
206
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:04,312
but forget it.
207
00:10:04,395 --> 00:10:05,855
Oh, God.
208
00:10:05,938 --> 00:10:07,440
I hope whoever got the note
doesn't know it was me
209
00:10:07,523 --> 00:10:08,733
who wrote it.
210
00:10:08,816 --> 00:10:09,817
I'd shit twice and die.
211
00:10:13,821 --> 00:10:15,114
Do you know
Samantha Baker?
212
00:10:17,366 --> 00:10:18,326
Sophomore, right?
213
00:10:20,036 --> 00:10:21,412
Yeah, what do you
think of her?
214
00:10:23,706 --> 00:10:24,749
I don't.
215
00:10:26,375 --> 00:10:27,585
Would you ever
go out with her?
216
00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:31,088
Depends on how much
you paid me.
217
00:10:32,340 --> 00:10:33,799
She's not ugly.
218
00:10:36,427 --> 00:10:37,678
There's nothing
there, man.
219
00:10:37,762 --> 00:10:40,640
It's not ugly,
it's just… void.
220
00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:41,641
You know what I mean?
221
00:10:41,724 --> 00:10:43,100
There's
something about her.
222
00:10:43,184 --> 00:10:44,852
I do Independent Study
with her.
223
00:10:44,935 --> 00:10:46,354
I catch her
looking at me a lot.
224
00:10:46,437 --> 00:10:49,523
It's kind of cool the way she's
always looking at me.
225
00:10:49,607 --> 00:10:51,901
Maybe she's retarded.
226
00:10:51,984 --> 00:10:54,070
-I'm being serious.
-Okay.
227
00:10:54,153 --> 00:10:56,989
She looks at me
like she's in love with me.
228
00:10:57,073 --> 00:10:59,659
Jake, she's a child.
229
00:10:59,742 --> 00:11:01,410
So?
230
00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:02,870
So what are you
going to do with her?
231
00:11:02,953 --> 00:11:06,415
She's obviously too young
to party serious.
232
00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:10,419
Maybe I'm interested
in more than a party.
233
00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:12,838
Come on, Jake,
you talk like you're hard up.
234
00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:13,881
You got Caroline.
235
00:11:13,964 --> 00:11:15,716
Now she's
a wo-man.
236
00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:16,634
♪♪
237
00:11:19,095 --> 00:11:21,305
It's unbelievable.
238
00:11:21,389 --> 00:11:22,807
I swear to God,
Caroline Mulford
239
00:11:22,890 --> 00:11:25,476
had to flunk about
nine grades.
240
00:11:25,559 --> 00:11:27,812
It truly makes me ill.
241
00:11:27,895 --> 00:11:29,188
She's perfect.
242
00:11:29,271 --> 00:11:32,108
Practically impossible
to cut up.
243
00:11:32,191 --> 00:11:33,859
She's supposedly real sweet.
244
00:11:33,943 --> 00:11:36,195
Her brother's deaf and everybody
in the world worships her.
245
00:11:37,738 --> 00:11:40,324
And she's
going with Jake.
246
00:11:40,408 --> 00:11:42,326
I'm gonna kill myself.
247
00:11:42,410 --> 00:11:43,911
My man.
248
00:11:43,994 --> 00:11:47,373
[marching instruments blaring]
249
00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:56,590
♪♪
250
00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:01,011
I loathe the bus.
251
00:12:05,516 --> 00:12:07,101
[sighing]
252
00:12:07,184 --> 00:12:11,647
There has to be a more dignified
mode of transportation.
253
00:12:11,730 --> 00:12:13,941
I hope you get a car for
your birthday and a license.
254
00:12:14,024 --> 00:12:15,818
[scoffing]
Let's not hold our breath.
255
00:12:15,901 --> 00:12:18,946
[radar guns beeping]
256
00:12:19,029 --> 00:12:20,322
[chuckling]
257
00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:23,451
-Score, a direct hit.
-Score, a direct hit.
258
00:12:23,534 --> 00:12:24,618
-On second thought.
-On second thought.
259
00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:29,790
♪♪
260
00:12:45,848 --> 00:12:46,932
♪ Hey ♪
261
00:12:51,353 --> 00:12:52,188
[man] Move it!
262
00:13:01,989 --> 00:13:03,115
-Call me, okay?
-You call me first.
263
00:13:03,199 --> 00:13:04,658
Tell me what happened
at home.
264
00:13:04,742 --> 00:13:06,285
[scoffing]
I can tell you right now.
265
00:13:06,368 --> 00:13:07,828
Nothing.
266
00:13:07,912 --> 00:13:08,913
Will you quit feeling
sorry for yourself?
267
00:13:08,996 --> 00:13:10,915
It's bad for
your complexion!
268
00:13:10,998 --> 00:13:13,167
♪♪
269
00:13:31,894 --> 00:13:33,521
How's it going?
270
00:13:33,604 --> 00:13:35,022
How's what going?
271
00:13:37,107 --> 00:13:40,486
You know, things,
life, whatnot.
272
00:13:40,569 --> 00:13:41,862
Life is not whatnot
273
00:13:41,946 --> 00:13:43,197
and it's none of
your business.
274
00:13:47,952 --> 00:13:49,620
So you going to New Faces
dance tonight or…
275
00:13:49,703 --> 00:13:51,789
That's also
none of your business.
276
00:13:51,872 --> 00:13:52,915
[sniffing]
277
00:13:55,543 --> 00:13:57,044
Are you inhibited about
dancing in public?
278
00:13:57,127 --> 00:13:59,880
I mean…
you don't have to dance.
279
00:13:59,964 --> 00:14:01,590
I mean, you could just
stand there and…
280
00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:03,801
with me and my
dudes and just be you.
281
00:14:03,884 --> 00:14:05,010
Sounds major.
282
00:14:08,722 --> 00:14:09,848
So, I mean,
what's the story?
283
00:14:09,932 --> 00:14:11,308
I mean, you got a guy or…
284
00:14:11,392 --> 00:14:13,227
Yes, three big ones
and they lust wimp blood.
285
00:14:13,310 --> 00:14:15,771
So quit bugging me or I'll sic
them all over your weenie ass.
286
00:14:17,898 --> 00:14:19,066
You know, I'm getting
input here
287
00:14:19,149 --> 00:14:20,442
that I'm reading
as relatively hostile.
288
00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:21,652
I mean, it's just--
289
00:14:21,735 --> 00:14:22,570
Go to hell.
290
00:14:24,321 --> 00:14:25,990
Very hostile!
291
00:14:28,576 --> 00:14:29,994
Come on,
what's the problem here?
292
00:14:30,077 --> 00:14:31,871
I'm a boy, you're a girl.
293
00:14:31,954 --> 00:14:33,038
Is there anything wrong with me
trying to put together
294
00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:35,708
some kind of
relationship between us?
295
00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:38,919
Okay, look, I know you
have to--
296
00:14:39,003 --> 00:14:40,087
Just answer
me one question.
297
00:14:40,170 --> 00:14:41,839
Yes, you're a total fag.
298
00:14:41,922 --> 00:14:42,882
[chuckling]
299
00:14:42,965 --> 00:14:44,133
That's not
the question.
300
00:14:46,093 --> 00:14:47,177
Am I turning you on?
301
00:14:56,312 --> 00:14:57,438
[sighing]
302
00:14:57,521 --> 00:14:59,064
It's encouraging.
303
00:14:59,148 --> 00:15:01,275
-Very encouraging.
-Yeah, uh-huh.
304
00:15:01,358 --> 00:15:05,362
You know, a girl with
a hat is just so… Vogue.
305
00:15:05,446 --> 00:15:06,655
Yeah.
306
00:15:18,250 --> 00:15:19,877
♪♪
307
00:15:23,464 --> 00:15:25,382
[man] Where are my
blue socks, Dorothy?
308
00:15:25,507 --> 00:15:26,884
[Dorothy] You mean to tell me
you didn't pack them?
309
00:15:26,967 --> 00:15:28,844
Oh, not again, Howard.
310
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:30,638
Can't I trust you to do
anything?
311
00:15:30,721 --> 00:15:33,098
Do you expect me
to do all the packing?
312
00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:36,393
Well, at least I brought
this for you.
313
00:15:36,477 --> 00:15:38,270
It-- Sam!
314
00:15:40,147 --> 00:15:41,357
[muttering] Samantha.
315
00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:43,442
-Look.
-Oh, look.
316
00:15:45,194 --> 00:15:46,946
-Hi!
-Hi!
317
00:15:48,572 --> 00:15:49,823
Oh, God.
318
00:15:49,907 --> 00:15:51,784
[laughing]
319
00:15:51,867 --> 00:15:53,827
Oh, sweetheart.
320
00:15:53,911 --> 00:15:55,829
My goodness, are you
a sight for sore eyes.
321
00:15:55,913 --> 00:15:56,956
Mwah!
322
00:15:57,039 --> 00:15:59,041
And a mwah!
323
00:15:59,124 --> 00:16:01,168
Oh, good, just look--
324
00:16:01,251 --> 00:16:03,128
How are you,
my little lamb chop?
325
00:16:03,212 --> 00:16:05,798
-Oh!
-Doing fine, Grandpa.
326
00:16:05,881 --> 00:16:06,966
-Fine.
-How are you guys?
327
00:16:07,049 --> 00:16:08,592
Oh, pretty good.
328
00:16:08,676 --> 00:16:09,969
Of course, I get the lower
back pain every once in a while.
329
00:16:10,052 --> 00:16:11,637
Oh, my corns are killing me.
330
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:13,764
My arthritis in my fingers,
it bothers me quite a bit.
331
00:16:13,847 --> 00:16:15,432
So are you--
you're sleeping up here?
332
00:16:15,516 --> 00:16:17,184
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
333
00:16:17,267 --> 00:16:20,437
Yeah, your Grandfather Fred
jumped our claim on Sara's room,
334
00:16:20,521 --> 00:16:22,022
so here we are,
gotta sleep up here.
335
00:16:22,106 --> 00:16:24,066
Well, I haven't seen you guys
in a while.
336
00:16:24,149 --> 00:16:26,902
Do I look
any older today?
337
00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:28,404
Oh, no, I wouldn't
say so.
338
00:16:28,487 --> 00:16:30,030
-Do you think so, darling?
-No.
339
00:16:30,114 --> 00:16:31,156
Oh, I hope it
isn't cold tomorrow.
340
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:33,075
You know Ginny.
341
00:16:33,158 --> 00:16:35,452
She'll refuse to wear a hat and
coat over her wedding dress.
342
00:16:35,536 --> 00:16:37,788
Well, if she does, you mustn't
bug her because she'll--
343
00:16:37,871 --> 00:16:39,123
Well, I'm not
going to bug her.
344
00:16:39,206 --> 00:16:41,083
I'm going to go set myself up
in Mike's room,
345
00:16:41,166 --> 00:16:42,751
so I'll see you guys later.
346
00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:44,378
-Okay, sweetheart.
-Oh, look, there she goes.
347
00:16:44,461 --> 00:16:46,380
Grandpa and I are looking
forward to a nice
348
00:16:46,463 --> 00:16:48,757
long, long visit with you.
349
00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:49,758
Aces.
350
00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:50,843
We certainly are.
351
00:16:50,926 --> 00:16:52,761
We really are.
352
00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:54,221
See you a little later,
darling.
353
00:16:54,304 --> 00:16:55,389
We've got a lot…
354
00:16:57,141 --> 00:17:00,227
I swear to God,
this has got to be a joke.
355
00:17:00,310 --> 00:17:03,063
Grandparents forgetting
a birthday?
356
00:17:03,147 --> 00:17:04,398
They live
for that shit.
357
00:17:04,481 --> 00:17:05,983
[toilet flushing]
358
00:17:06,066 --> 00:17:07,526
♪ With my arms
around you ♪
359
00:17:09,111 --> 00:17:11,196
Well, well,
360
00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:14,616
if it isn't
Sammy Baker Davis, Junior!
361
00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:16,368
[chuckling]
362
00:17:16,452 --> 00:17:17,411
Hi, Grandpa.
363
00:17:17,494 --> 00:17:18,871
Oh, I've got one
for you.
364
00:17:18,954 --> 00:17:20,205
Knock, knock.
365
00:17:20,289 --> 00:17:21,248
-Who's there?
-Who?
366
00:17:21,331 --> 00:17:22,791
Who who?
367
00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:25,627
Helen, we've got an owl
out here in the hall.
368
00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:27,129
[laughing]
369
00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:30,049
Fred.
370
00:17:30,132 --> 00:17:31,592
Fred, leave her alone.
371
00:17:31,675 --> 00:17:32,676
You'll make her
tinkle.
372
00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:34,094
Oh, come on, Helen.
373
00:17:34,178 --> 00:17:37,222
Oh, Sam,
let me look at you.
374
00:17:37,306 --> 00:17:38,307
Oh.
375
00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:41,560
Fred, she's gotten
her boobies.
376
00:17:41,643 --> 00:17:43,187
[chuckling]
377
00:17:43,270 --> 00:17:44,897
I better go get
my magnifying glass.
378
00:17:46,690 --> 00:17:49,276
Oh, and they are
so perky.
379
00:17:49,359 --> 00:17:50,736
♪♪
380
00:18:01,330 --> 00:18:02,748
[sighing]
381
00:18:02,831 --> 00:18:05,292
I can't believe my grandmother
actually felt me up.
382
00:18:09,838 --> 00:18:11,632
[gong ringing]
383
00:18:11,715 --> 00:18:15,094
What's happening,
hot stuff?
384
00:18:15,177 --> 00:18:17,179
His name is
Long Duk Dong.
385
00:18:17,262 --> 00:18:18,180
[gong ringing]
386
00:18:18,263 --> 00:18:19,807
What?
387
00:18:19,890 --> 00:18:21,642
Long Duk Dong.
388
00:18:21,725 --> 00:18:23,727
He came down with
Grandma and Grandpa Baker.
389
00:18:23,811 --> 00:18:26,230
He's an exchange student that's
living with them.
390
00:18:26,313 --> 00:18:28,190
Yeah, well,
he's totally bizarre.
391
00:18:28,273 --> 00:18:30,109
He is not.
392
00:18:30,192 --> 00:18:33,153
He is a very
sweet boy.
393
00:18:33,237 --> 00:18:34,446
I just hope you boil
the sheets and mattresses
394
00:18:34,530 --> 00:18:36,073
after he leaves.
395
00:18:37,825 --> 00:18:39,326
I don't suppose it makes any
difference to you,
396
00:18:39,409 --> 00:18:42,204
but there's a very weird
Chinese guy up in Mike's room.
397
00:18:42,287 --> 00:18:43,122
Ginny dumped Rudy
398
00:18:43,205 --> 00:18:44,832
and he's her new
fiancé.
399
00:18:44,915 --> 00:18:47,251
Mike, stop it.
400
00:18:47,334 --> 00:18:48,585
Sam, honey,
do you think you could
401
00:18:48,669 --> 00:18:50,546
help the grandmothers
with supper?
402
00:18:50,629 --> 00:18:52,297
Dad and I have to
go to the club for dinner
403
00:18:52,381 --> 00:18:53,632
with the Rice Chex.
404
00:18:53,715 --> 00:18:55,175
Rizczechs.
405
00:18:55,259 --> 00:18:56,969
Oh, Rizczechs.
406
00:18:57,052 --> 00:18:59,221
Um, do you think that there's
any reason that I should
407
00:18:59,304 --> 00:19:01,932
possibly stay home tonight?
408
00:19:02,015 --> 00:19:04,309
I think it might be nice
if you'd visit with your
409
00:19:04,393 --> 00:19:06,145
grandparents and Long Duk Dong.
410
00:19:06,228 --> 00:19:07,771
-Who?
-[gong ringing]
411
00:19:07,855 --> 00:19:10,149
Oh, the weird Chinese guy
in Mike's room.
412
00:19:10,232 --> 00:19:11,817
Oh.
413
00:19:11,900 --> 00:19:13,443
I think I have
a dance to go to.
414
00:19:13,527 --> 00:19:15,404
That's okay.
415
00:19:15,487 --> 00:19:19,992
Oh, can you remember to turn off
the stove in 20 minutes?
416
00:19:20,075 --> 00:19:22,327
I can
remember lots of things.
417
00:19:22,411 --> 00:19:23,245
Hmm.
418
00:19:26,707 --> 00:19:28,375
[sighing]
419
00:19:28,458 --> 00:19:30,294
This is the single worst day
of my entire life.
420
00:19:30,377 --> 00:19:32,045
What the hell
are you bitching about?
421
00:19:32,129 --> 00:19:33,338
I have to sleep under some
Chinaman
422
00:19:33,422 --> 00:19:35,465
named after
a duck's dork.
423
00:19:36,842 --> 00:19:38,385
Where am I sleeping?
424
00:19:38,468 --> 00:19:40,304
Sofa City,
sweetheart.
425
00:19:42,264 --> 00:19:44,266
♪♪
426
00:19:46,476 --> 00:19:49,521
Do you think Grandpa Fred's
going to embarrass me?
427
00:19:49,605 --> 00:19:50,731
I don't know why not.
428
00:19:50,814 --> 00:19:53,192
He does everyone else.
429
00:19:53,275 --> 00:19:57,237
He already asked me if Rudy
was the oily variety bohunk--
430
00:19:57,321 --> 00:19:58,447
Is he?
431
00:19:59,656 --> 00:20:01,825
Don't be cute.
432
00:20:01,909 --> 00:20:04,494
I really love Rudy.
433
00:20:04,578 --> 00:20:07,247
And he is totally
enamored of me.
434
00:20:09,416 --> 00:20:12,336
I mean, I've had men who've
loved me before,
435
00:20:12,419 --> 00:20:15,505
but not for
six months in a row.
436
00:20:16,924 --> 00:20:18,342
I think I'm in love.
437
00:20:18,425 --> 00:20:22,221
So, how long have you
been in love, hmm?
438
00:20:22,304 --> 00:20:24,973
Well, it hasn't
really happened yet.
439
00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:28,393
So what's the deal?
440
00:20:28,477 --> 00:20:30,896
I'm not sure that
he knows I exist.
441
00:20:32,856 --> 00:20:36,026
Sam, I really
don't have time for this.
442
00:20:37,653 --> 00:20:39,404
Well, I'm sorry.
443
00:20:39,488 --> 00:20:42,366
I always listen to you talk
about your boyfriends.
444
00:20:42,449 --> 00:20:45,494
Darling, is
something bothering you?
445
00:20:49,414 --> 00:20:52,125
You're really acting
like… an asshole.
446
00:20:54,586 --> 00:20:56,463
And I think
I know what it is.
447
00:20:56,546 --> 00:20:59,216
I think you're jealous that
I'm getting married
448
00:20:59,299 --> 00:21:01,426
and that I'm getting
all the attention, hmm?
449
00:21:03,679 --> 00:21:05,597
You know, everybody in this
family has just gone
450
00:21:05,681 --> 00:21:07,891
totally Outer Limits.
451
00:21:07,975 --> 00:21:09,601
No, Sam.
452
00:21:09,685 --> 00:21:13,313
I think you're just being
a little selfish and immature.
453
00:21:15,482 --> 00:21:18,110
Oh, yes, that's it.
454
00:21:18,193 --> 00:21:19,278
That's exactly it.
455
00:21:21,571 --> 00:21:23,031
[door slamming]
456
00:21:23,115 --> 00:21:24,783
Unbelievable.
457
00:21:24,866 --> 00:21:27,411
You make someone a bridesmaid
and they shit all over you.
458
00:21:27,494 --> 00:21:29,788
♪♪
459
00:21:37,963 --> 00:21:39,798
Very clever dinner.
460
00:21:39,881 --> 00:21:43,135
Appetizing food fitting neatly
into interesting,
461
00:21:43,218 --> 00:21:44,970
uh, round pie.
462
00:21:45,053 --> 00:21:47,306
-It's a quiche.
-Mmm.
463
00:21:47,389 --> 00:21:48,765
How do you spell?
464
00:21:48,849 --> 00:21:50,684
Well, you don't spell it,
son, you eat it.
465
00:21:50,767 --> 00:21:53,520
[laughing]
466
00:21:53,603 --> 00:21:56,356
Dong has only been in our
country a short time, Fred.
467
00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:58,400
I think we could all
help him assimilate.
468
00:21:58,483 --> 00:22:00,736
Oh.
469
00:22:00,819 --> 00:22:03,322
Long Duk Dong is about
your age, Sam.
470
00:22:03,405 --> 00:22:05,991
You two should have
a lot to chat about.
471
00:22:06,074 --> 00:22:09,494
I love visiting with
Grandma and Grandpa
472
00:22:09,578 --> 00:22:12,164
and writing letters to parents
473
00:22:12,247 --> 00:22:15,500
and pushing lawn mowing machine
so Grandpa's
474
00:22:15,584 --> 00:22:18,545
hyena don't get disturbed.
475
00:22:18,628 --> 00:22:20,005
Hernia.
476
00:22:20,088 --> 00:22:21,506
[Fred laughing]
477
00:22:21,590 --> 00:22:23,467
Oh yes, yes, yes,
indeedy.
478
00:22:23,550 --> 00:22:27,012
He does the dishes
and helps with the laundry.
479
00:22:27,095 --> 00:22:28,388
You betcha.
480
00:22:31,516 --> 00:22:33,393
May I be excused?
481
00:22:33,477 --> 00:22:35,687
Where are you going?
482
00:22:35,771 --> 00:22:37,397
I have a dance to go to.
483
00:22:37,481 --> 00:22:39,524
At school.
484
00:22:39,608 --> 00:22:41,485
It's a very important dance.
485
00:22:41,568 --> 00:22:43,570
Uh, we're being graded on it.
486
00:22:43,653 --> 00:22:44,654
For gym.
487
00:22:44,738 --> 00:22:46,865
Wait a minute,
I have a wonderful idea.
488
00:22:49,242 --> 00:22:51,787
Would you like to go to
the dance with Sam?
489
00:22:51,870 --> 00:22:53,205
[gong ringing]
490
00:22:54,623 --> 00:22:56,875
♪♪
491
00:23:15,936 --> 00:23:17,604
I wonder if Jake's here.
492
00:23:17,687 --> 00:23:18,980
I don't think it's too healthy
to get all jacked up
493
00:23:19,064 --> 00:23:20,732
about some guy
that isn't even a thing yet.
494
00:23:20,816 --> 00:23:22,359
Yeah, well, you don't have
anything, you don't have
495
00:23:22,442 --> 00:23:24,194
anything to lose, right?
496
00:23:24,277 --> 00:23:26,154
That's
a cheerful thought.
497
00:23:26,238 --> 00:23:27,489
Let's go make ourselves
available.
498
00:23:28,740 --> 00:23:30,617
♪♪
499
00:23:45,674 --> 00:23:46,925
That's the one, dude.
500
00:23:47,008 --> 00:23:48,426
Scope it out.
501
00:23:48,510 --> 00:23:49,719
She doesn't
look like a freshman.
502
00:23:49,803 --> 00:23:51,471
Sophomore, dude,
sophomore.
503
00:23:51,555 --> 00:23:53,765
Fully aged
sophomore meat.
504
00:23:57,352 --> 00:23:58,395
We do the bus together.
505
00:23:58,478 --> 00:23:59,938
-You talked to her?
-Talk?
506
00:24:00,188 --> 00:24:01,898
Dude, I have
a relationship with her
507
00:24:02,232 --> 00:24:03,859
figured to like
17 digits.
508
00:24:05,318 --> 00:24:07,279
You are such a liar.
509
00:24:07,362 --> 00:24:09,072
We'll see about that,
my man.
510
00:24:09,156 --> 00:24:11,616
By night's end, I predict
511
00:24:11,700 --> 00:24:13,201
that me and her
will interface.
512
00:24:13,285 --> 00:24:15,370
♪♪
513
00:24:17,956 --> 00:24:21,001
♪ Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha ♪
514
00:24:27,757 --> 00:24:31,761
♪ Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha ♪
515
00:24:31,845 --> 00:24:34,181
♪ I know this ♪
516
00:24:34,264 --> 00:24:37,350
♪ Much is true ♪
517
00:24:37,434 --> 00:24:41,521
♪ Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha ♪
518
00:24:41,605 --> 00:24:42,856
♪ I know this ♪
519
00:24:42,939 --> 00:24:44,482
Check it out, Wease.
520
00:24:47,402 --> 00:24:48,737
Pretty intense, huh?
Over.
521
00:24:48,820 --> 00:24:50,447
Whacks to the max.
Over.
522
00:25:00,749 --> 00:25:01,917
♪♪
523
00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:03,001
[shrieking]
524
00:25:04,377 --> 00:25:06,671
All right.
525
00:25:06,755 --> 00:25:08,548
I knew you'd come around.
526
00:25:08,632 --> 00:25:11,593
♪♪
527
00:25:12,969 --> 00:25:14,471
Crank that, sister!
528
00:25:14,554 --> 00:25:16,556
[whooping]
529
00:25:24,356 --> 00:25:25,690
Very hot, very hot!
530
00:25:25,774 --> 00:25:27,651
Tonight is when
it's happening!
531
00:25:33,698 --> 00:25:34,824
I'm blowing your mind,
aren't I?
532
00:25:38,203 --> 00:25:39,120
[whispering]
I'm just getting warmed up!
533
00:25:50,006 --> 00:25:52,634
[laughing]
534
00:26:10,026 --> 00:26:11,111
[sighing]
535
00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:21,246
[cheering]
536
00:26:30,255 --> 00:26:31,548
Way to go, dick face.
537
00:26:31,631 --> 00:26:33,341
She took off.
538
00:26:33,425 --> 00:26:34,926
Don't spaz out,
okay, Wease?
539
00:26:35,010 --> 00:26:36,052
The situation
will come online.
540
00:26:36,136 --> 00:26:37,804
Yeah?
541
00:26:37,887 --> 00:26:40,682
I'll bet you a dozen floppy
discs you don't even get a tit.
542
00:26:40,765 --> 00:26:42,475
You got a bet, scumbag.
543
00:26:42,559 --> 00:26:44,227
-I'll get it all.
-Take off.
544
00:26:44,311 --> 00:26:46,688
You wouldn't even be
able to prove it anyway.
545
00:26:46,771 --> 00:26:48,523
A, don't hit me.
546
00:26:48,606 --> 00:26:52,110
Secondly, what kind of
proof do you want?
547
00:26:52,193 --> 00:26:53,361
-Video.
-Video.
548
00:26:53,445 --> 00:26:54,904
No way, okay?
549
00:26:54,988 --> 00:26:56,614
I can just see the thing getting
duped a thousand times
550
00:26:56,698 --> 00:26:59,451
and like winding up
on cable somewhere.
551
00:26:59,534 --> 00:27:01,161
Try again.
552
00:27:01,244 --> 00:27:02,454
-Underpants.
-Underpants.
553
00:27:05,623 --> 00:27:06,750
No problem, buttlick.
554
00:27:16,551 --> 00:27:17,510
-Girls' underpants.
-Girls' underpants.
555
00:27:17,594 --> 00:27:19,095
♪ One, two ♪
556
00:27:19,179 --> 00:27:21,639
♪ And your girlfriend
sweet little 17 ♪
557
00:27:21,723 --> 00:27:23,058
♪ She's got
her layered hair ♪
558
00:27:23,141 --> 00:27:24,726
♪ And her flared jeans ♪
559
00:27:24,809 --> 00:27:26,353
♪ You know what that means ♪
560
00:27:26,436 --> 00:27:27,729
♪ She's just
a little queen ♪
561
00:27:27,812 --> 00:27:30,148
♪ She shares your
London flat ♪
562
00:27:30,231 --> 00:27:33,068
♪ She thinks that
London's where it's at ♪
563
00:27:33,151 --> 00:27:34,444
♪ Although it stinks
and when it rains ♪
564
00:27:34,527 --> 00:27:36,237
♪ You wear your hat ♪
565
00:27:36,321 --> 00:27:39,657
♪ And your plum-colored PVC
wet-look maxi mac ♪
566
00:27:39,741 --> 00:27:41,618
♪ You tie your
ginger hair back in a bun ♪
567
00:27:41,701 --> 00:27:43,536
[nose blowing]
568
00:27:43,620 --> 00:27:46,581
♪ You're the ugliest creature
under the sun… ♪
569
00:27:49,417 --> 00:27:51,086
So what's your name?
570
00:27:51,169 --> 00:27:53,546
Dong.
571
00:27:53,630 --> 00:27:55,423
What's your first name?
572
00:27:55,507 --> 00:27:57,842
Long.
573
00:27:57,926 --> 00:28:00,095
What's your middle name?
574
00:28:00,178 --> 00:28:01,221
Duk.
575
00:28:04,349 --> 00:28:08,311
I bet all the boys chase you
plenty in this school, huh?
576
00:28:08,395 --> 00:28:10,647
Nobody's
caught me yet.
577
00:28:10,730 --> 00:28:12,232
Bet you you big teaser, huh?
578
00:28:12,315 --> 00:28:13,900
No.
579
00:28:13,983 --> 00:28:17,195
I run the 40 in five flat.
580
00:28:17,278 --> 00:28:18,196
Flat?
581
00:28:21,908 --> 00:28:23,910
Hey.
582
00:28:23,993 --> 00:28:25,078
I'm really sorry, man.
583
00:28:25,161 --> 00:28:26,413
Whatever I did
was an accident.
584
00:28:26,496 --> 00:28:27,997
I-I-I mean, I didn't
mean to--
585
00:28:28,081 --> 00:28:29,082
Relax.
586
00:28:35,296 --> 00:28:38,883
You-- you were
dancing with a girl.
587
00:28:38,967 --> 00:28:41,302
Oh, man, I'm really,
I'm really sorry.
588
00:28:41,386 --> 00:28:42,929
I must have been on
drugs five minutes ago.
589
00:28:43,012 --> 00:28:45,056
-I didn't even know--
-Do you know her?
590
00:28:45,140 --> 00:28:46,725
She grabbed me, guy.
591
00:28:46,808 --> 00:28:47,809
I'm totally innocent.
592
00:28:47,892 --> 00:28:48,893
Is she-- is she yours?
593
00:28:48,977 --> 00:28:50,603
What do you know
about her?
594
00:28:51,980 --> 00:28:53,440
She has smallish tits.
595
00:28:53,523 --> 00:28:54,941
Decent voice.
596
00:28:55,024 --> 00:28:56,943
Smells pretty good.
597
00:28:57,026 --> 00:28:58,403
She drives me crazy.
598
00:28:58,486 --> 00:28:59,404
Did she
come here with you?
599
00:28:59,487 --> 00:29:01,072
No, no.
600
00:29:01,156 --> 00:29:03,533
But if it's okay with my dad,
she's going home with me.
601
00:29:03,616 --> 00:29:05,034
♪♪
602
00:29:05,118 --> 00:29:06,536
Excuse me.
603
00:29:13,835 --> 00:29:16,921
[girls giggling]
604
00:29:17,005 --> 00:29:18,214
Do you guys
wanna blow off this dance?
605
00:29:18,298 --> 00:29:19,632
Yes.
606
00:29:19,716 --> 00:29:21,926
I am bored to
the brink of insanity.
607
00:29:22,010 --> 00:29:23,511
And go where?
608
00:29:23,595 --> 00:29:25,805
Jake's parents aren't home.
We can do his house.
609
00:29:25,889 --> 00:29:27,474
How's it going?
610
00:29:27,557 --> 00:29:28,600
Fine.
611
00:29:28,683 --> 00:29:30,226
Let's party light,
though.
612
00:29:30,310 --> 00:29:32,103
Jake's paranoid about his
parents' house getting trashed.
613
00:29:32,187 --> 00:29:34,022
Again!
614
00:29:34,105 --> 00:29:36,024
♪ One single moment ♪
615
00:29:36,107 --> 00:29:39,861
♪ The hours
I'd spend investigating ♪
616
00:29:39,944 --> 00:29:41,946
♪ The way of loving ♪
617
00:29:42,030 --> 00:29:43,865
♪ And discovered ♪
618
00:29:43,948 --> 00:29:46,159
♪ You ♪
619
00:29:49,120 --> 00:29:50,955
♪♪
620
00:29:51,039 --> 00:29:51,956
Ooh.
621
00:30:03,968 --> 00:30:05,553
Okay.
622
00:30:07,597 --> 00:30:08,473
All right.
623
00:30:13,186 --> 00:30:14,854
Trying to get
a little bit of water.
624
00:30:16,815 --> 00:30:17,690
Yeah.
625
00:30:22,695 --> 00:30:24,697
Yes, I'm back.
626
00:30:24,781 --> 00:30:26,699
So I smell.
627
00:30:26,783 --> 00:30:28,952
It's my shaving cream.
628
00:30:29,035 --> 00:30:30,829
You wanna feel a real clean,
close shave?
629
00:30:30,912 --> 00:30:32,705
I'll pass.
630
00:30:32,789 --> 00:30:34,874
Couldn't find anyone else
to bug, huh?
631
00:30:34,958 --> 00:30:38,044
Come on, you know you're
the one I wanna bug, huh?
632
00:30:38,127 --> 00:30:41,172
This is my friend Randy
and that's Jimmy Montrose.
633
00:30:41,256 --> 00:30:42,799
How do you do?
634
00:30:42,882 --> 00:30:44,300
-This is Farmer Fred.
-Ted.
635
00:30:44,384 --> 00:30:46,719
Oh, I'm sorry,
this is Farmer Ted.
636
00:30:46,803 --> 00:30:48,221
I'm not really a farmer.
637
00:30:48,304 --> 00:30:49,389
I'm a freshman.
638
00:30:49,472 --> 00:30:51,432
Geek, can I be
honest with you?
639
00:30:51,516 --> 00:30:53,893
Not if you're
going to insult me.
640
00:30:53,977 --> 00:30:54,936
Okay.
641
00:30:57,772 --> 00:30:58,648
Shoot.
642
00:30:58,731 --> 00:31:00,608
Get the hell outta here.
643
00:31:00,692 --> 00:31:03,403
Nice…
nice manners, babe!
644
00:31:03,486 --> 00:31:06,239
She's totally serious,
ass-wipe.
645
00:31:06,322 --> 00:31:07,657
Chill.
646
00:31:13,746 --> 00:31:14,664
You wanna split with me?
647
00:31:14,747 --> 00:31:16,082
I just…
648
00:31:17,750 --> 00:31:18,793
I don't know--
649
00:31:18,877 --> 00:31:20,378
I can't handle this.
650
00:31:20,461 --> 00:31:22,380
…want something, you gotta
ask for it, you know?
651
00:31:22,463 --> 00:31:23,882
I mean, I'm not
the kind of guy…
652
00:31:23,965 --> 00:31:25,508
It's embarrassing.
653
00:31:25,592 --> 00:31:28,553
I don't know, I just,
I just--
654
00:31:31,681 --> 00:31:33,474
[chuckling]
655
00:31:52,744 --> 00:31:54,120
[clattering]
656
00:32:01,961 --> 00:32:03,588
♪♪
657
00:32:16,142 --> 00:32:17,560
I'm really sorry about what
happened in the gym.
658
00:32:17,644 --> 00:32:21,147
I-- I had no idea
you couldn't dance.
659
00:32:26,778 --> 00:32:28,154
[clattering]
660
00:32:48,549 --> 00:32:50,176
What a decent night,
huh?
661
00:32:50,259 --> 00:32:51,552
It's my birthday.
662
00:32:54,514 --> 00:32:55,974
[imitating guitar riff]
663
00:32:56,057 --> 00:32:58,393
♪ You say
it's your birthday ♪
664
00:32:58,476 --> 00:32:59,560
♪ It's my birthday,
too ♪
665
00:32:59,644 --> 00:33:01,229
Don't do that, okay?
666
00:33:04,148 --> 00:33:06,192
♪ Hey, Jude ♪
667
00:33:06,275 --> 00:33:07,652
Just stop it, okay?
668
00:33:07,735 --> 00:33:10,196
I mean, it's really been
a shitty birthday for me.
669
00:33:10,279 --> 00:33:13,366
No offense, but I don't need
a serenade right now.
670
00:33:13,449 --> 00:33:16,244
What's wrong, you didn't
get anything good or…
671
00:33:16,327 --> 00:33:17,620
I didn't get shit.
672
00:33:17,704 --> 00:33:19,163
Not even "happy birthday."
673
00:33:19,247 --> 00:33:21,124
My whole family just sort of
blew it off.
674
00:33:24,711 --> 00:33:27,005
I'd freak if my
family forgot my birthday.
675
00:33:27,088 --> 00:33:28,006
It's a brand-new year.
676
00:33:28,089 --> 00:33:29,173
I'm 16.
677
00:33:29,257 --> 00:33:30,174
Everything should be platinum.
678
00:33:30,258 --> 00:33:31,676
I should be happy, right?
679
00:33:31,759 --> 00:33:33,219
-Right?
-Yeah.
680
00:33:33,302 --> 00:33:35,138
Well, I can't get happy.
681
00:33:35,221 --> 00:33:38,683
It is physically impossible
for me to get happy.
682
00:33:42,228 --> 00:33:44,480
Would you feel better if you
knew one of my secrets or…
683
00:33:45,606 --> 00:33:47,025
Don't gross me out.
684
00:33:47,108 --> 00:33:48,568
No, we're not talking
gross here, no.
685
00:33:48,651 --> 00:33:51,279
It's just--
it's just embarrassing.
686
00:33:58,661 --> 00:34:00,621
This information cannot leave
this room, okay?
687
00:34:00,705 --> 00:34:04,584
It would devastate
my reputation as a dude.
688
00:34:04,667 --> 00:34:05,710
No problem.
689
00:34:11,549 --> 00:34:12,759
I've never bagged a babe.
690
00:34:17,138 --> 00:34:18,181
I'm not a stud.
691
00:34:18,264 --> 00:34:19,932
[laughing]
692
00:34:22,518 --> 00:34:24,187
I got the rep in sixth grade.
693
00:34:24,270 --> 00:34:26,564
And it like-- I don't know,
it stuck with me.
694
00:34:26,647 --> 00:34:28,107
I'm still on hold.
695
00:34:30,610 --> 00:34:33,196
Look, I'd appreciate you
not laughing, okay?
696
00:34:33,279 --> 00:34:35,281
I'm sorry.
697
00:34:37,075 --> 00:34:38,159
That's not what I meant.
698
00:34:42,038 --> 00:34:43,081
I meant…
699
00:34:45,333 --> 00:34:47,502
Hey, time out, Junior!
[horn honking]
700
00:34:50,671 --> 00:34:51,881
Pardon me.
701
00:34:57,303 --> 00:34:58,596
It's okay.
702
00:34:58,679 --> 00:35:00,139
[bell dinging]
703
00:35:03,518 --> 00:35:05,436
I meant that it's okay
that you did it once,
704
00:35:05,520 --> 00:35:07,313
but I didn't mean
for you to do it again!
705
00:35:09,273 --> 00:35:11,651
I'm sorry.
706
00:35:11,734 --> 00:35:13,069
Sorry.
707
00:35:16,197 --> 00:35:18,616
You know, just now I really
felt how much you liked me.
708
00:35:20,910 --> 00:35:24,664
You're probably zoning in on
my brain waves or something.
709
00:35:24,747 --> 00:35:26,457
Well, not really,
I felt it on my leg.
710
00:35:29,293 --> 00:35:31,087
Come on,
I don't want to see it!
711
00:35:35,091 --> 00:35:37,260
Oh.
712
00:35:37,343 --> 00:35:39,512
Sorry if
I embarrassed you.
713
00:35:39,595 --> 00:35:41,639
I'm not embarrassed.
714
00:35:41,722 --> 00:35:43,349
Fresh breath is
a priority in my life.
715
00:35:47,645 --> 00:35:49,522
You know, I really don't want
to hurt your feelings 'cause
716
00:35:49,605 --> 00:35:52,358
it's really human of you
to listen to all my bullshit.
717
00:35:52,441 --> 00:35:53,317
I care about it, really.
718
00:35:53,401 --> 00:35:55,319
I mean…
719
00:35:55,403 --> 00:35:57,738
I know I came on kinda like
a poozer on the bus tonight
720
00:35:57,822 --> 00:36:00,741
and everything, but that's just
so my friends won't think,
721
00:36:00,825 --> 00:36:02,994
you know, I'm a jerk.
722
00:36:03,077 --> 00:36:06,164
But they're all pretty much
jerks though, aren't they?
723
00:36:06,247 --> 00:36:07,707
Yeah, but…
724
00:36:07,790 --> 00:36:10,710
the thing is I'm kind of
like the leader, you know?
725
00:36:10,793 --> 00:36:13,212
Kinda like the king of
the dipshits.
726
00:36:13,296 --> 00:36:15,214
Well, that's pretty cool.
727
00:36:15,298 --> 00:36:17,341
Hey, but a lot can
happen over a year.
728
00:36:17,425 --> 00:36:18,509
I mean, you could come back
next fall
729
00:36:18,593 --> 00:36:21,220
as a completely
normal person.
730
00:36:21,304 --> 00:36:23,347
-Yeah?
-Sure.
731
00:36:28,269 --> 00:36:32,023
Would it be totally
off the wall if…
732
00:36:32,106 --> 00:36:33,816
if I asked if
I could have sex with you?
733
00:36:37,653 --> 00:36:39,280
Yeah, well, you asking me is
not as off the wall
734
00:36:39,363 --> 00:36:41,574
as why I won't.
735
00:36:41,657 --> 00:36:43,326
VD?
736
00:36:43,409 --> 00:36:45,119
No.
737
00:36:45,203 --> 00:36:48,164
I'm sort of saving myself.
738
00:36:48,247 --> 00:36:49,332
It's really stupid.
739
00:36:49,415 --> 00:36:52,126
He doesn't even know I exist.
740
00:36:52,210 --> 00:36:53,044
Who?
741
00:36:54,253 --> 00:36:55,296
Who?
742
00:36:56,839 --> 00:36:57,840
Jake Ryan.
743
00:36:59,467 --> 00:37:01,427
You like Jake?
744
00:37:01,510 --> 00:37:03,638
Ja-- Jake's my boy!
745
00:37:03,721 --> 00:37:05,514
I just talked to Jake
in the gym.
746
00:37:05,598 --> 00:37:06,724
He asked me about you.
747
00:37:06,807 --> 00:37:08,351
-Did not!
-He did, too.
748
00:37:08,434 --> 00:37:09,685
He did.
749
00:37:09,769 --> 00:37:10,686
He asked me
what you were like.
750
00:37:10,770 --> 00:37:12,396
Oh, my--
751
00:37:12,480 --> 00:37:14,690
Oh-- If you're lying, I'll beat
the crap out of you.
752
00:37:14,774 --> 00:37:15,983
I'm not lying.
753
00:37:16,067 --> 00:37:17,985
Oh, my God,
what should I do?
754
00:37:18,069 --> 00:37:19,487
Should I go up to him?
755
00:37:19,570 --> 00:37:21,030
And should I say,
"Hi, Jake, I'm Samantha."
756
00:37:21,113 --> 00:37:22,573
Or, no, maybe I should
let him come to me.
757
00:37:22,657 --> 00:37:24,242
This is not my department.
758
00:37:24,325 --> 00:37:25,701
But what if I decide to let
him come to me
759
00:37:25,785 --> 00:37:26,994
and then he forgets?
760
00:37:27,078 --> 00:37:28,329
Or then what if he changes
his mind
761
00:37:28,412 --> 00:37:30,373
and then
I'm totally screwed, right?
762
00:37:30,456 --> 00:37:32,959
Probably so.
763
00:37:33,042 --> 00:37:34,502
What would you do
if you were me?
764
00:37:36,587 --> 00:37:38,256
I'm a gambling man by nature
765
00:37:38,339 --> 00:37:42,510
and, uh… I'd go for it.
766
00:37:42,593 --> 00:37:44,679
This is so strange,
but I think I will.
767
00:37:44,762 --> 00:37:45,638
Oh, you're the best.
768
00:37:49,392 --> 00:37:51,018
Wait, um…
769
00:37:51,102 --> 00:37:52,395
What?
770
00:37:52,478 --> 00:37:54,188
Do you know anything about
floppy disks?
771
00:37:54,272 --> 00:37:56,315
Uh, we'll talk about
this on the bus, okay?
772
00:37:56,399 --> 00:37:58,943
Well, no, see, the thing is,
I've got kind of a problem.
773
00:37:59,026 --> 00:38:01,237
Floppy disks are pretty
expensive and, you see,
774
00:38:01,320 --> 00:38:03,406
the thing is I made a bet
with my friends.
775
00:38:03,489 --> 00:38:05,533
The-- the dipshits.
776
00:38:05,616 --> 00:38:10,037
Um, I bet them that
I'd do it with you.
777
00:38:10,121 --> 00:38:11,539
But this was before I knew
you as a person.
778
00:38:11,622 --> 00:38:14,000
I can get proof without
actually getting physical.
779
00:38:14,083 --> 00:38:15,167
How?
780
00:38:18,087 --> 00:38:19,880
Can I borrow your
underpants for 10 minutes?
781
00:38:19,964 --> 00:38:24,552
♪ Hope you're feeling
time ♪
782
00:38:31,100 --> 00:38:33,311
I think it's time to blow this
thing off and go to your house.
783
00:38:33,394 --> 00:38:34,520
Yeah?
784
00:38:34,603 --> 00:38:36,022
I told Tracy and Robin
and those guys
785
00:38:36,105 --> 00:38:37,523
to come to your
parents' house, okay?
786
00:38:37,606 --> 00:38:39,734
I told them not to
tell anybody.
787
00:38:39,817 --> 00:38:42,320
God, I love it when
your parents are outta town.
788
00:38:42,403 --> 00:38:44,905
I fantasize that I'm your wife
and we're like the richest,
789
00:38:44,989 --> 00:38:47,992
most popular adults in town.
790
00:38:48,075 --> 00:38:49,618
I owe all my great
weekends to you.
791
00:38:52,538 --> 00:38:53,539
What's your problem?
792
00:38:53,622 --> 00:38:54,957
What?
793
00:38:55,041 --> 00:38:57,460
You've been acting weird
all night.
794
00:38:57,543 --> 00:38:58,794
Are you screwing around?
795
00:38:58,878 --> 00:39:00,129
Me?
796
00:39:00,212 --> 00:39:01,464
Are you crazy?
797
00:39:01,547 --> 00:39:03,507
I don't know, Jake.
798
00:39:03,591 --> 00:39:05,301
I'm getting strange signals.
799
00:39:05,384 --> 00:39:06,344
Well, they're not coming
from me.
800
00:39:06,427 --> 00:39:07,345
Look, everything's fine.
801
00:39:07,428 --> 00:39:09,138
Don't have a cow.
802
00:39:09,221 --> 00:39:11,182
Okay.
803
00:39:11,265 --> 00:39:13,476
But just remember one thing.
804
00:39:13,559 --> 00:39:15,811
I can name 20 guys
who would kill to love me.
805
00:39:17,188 --> 00:39:18,397
Is that a threat?
806
00:39:18,481 --> 00:39:21,108
It's a fact, Jake.
807
00:39:21,192 --> 00:39:22,526
Come on, before
we get in a big, wicked fight,
808
00:39:22,610 --> 00:39:24,362
let's get outta here, huh?
809
00:39:28,949 --> 00:39:30,117
Hi, Jake, I'm Samantha.
810
00:39:30,201 --> 00:39:31,577
How's it going?
811
00:39:34,872 --> 00:39:36,415
Do you got a cigarette?
812
00:39:40,795 --> 00:39:42,505
Jake, this may sound
incredibly dumb,
813
00:39:42,588 --> 00:39:47,343
but I love you and I'll do
anything to make you love me.
814
00:39:47,426 --> 00:39:48,844
I love your shirt.
815
00:39:53,557 --> 00:39:55,351
Jake, you're not
gonna believe this,
816
00:39:55,434 --> 00:39:57,436
but I had this very bizarre
dream and you were in it.
817
00:40:03,984 --> 00:40:05,569
[man]
Get in there and dance!
818
00:40:05,653 --> 00:40:08,155
For the last time, I'm not going
to tell you again.
819
00:40:08,239 --> 00:40:09,698
Just act like a man.
820
00:40:09,782 --> 00:40:12,535
[boy] I wanna go home,
I wanna be with you guys.
821
00:40:12,618 --> 00:40:14,161
♪♪
822
00:40:14,245 --> 00:40:15,287
♪ Ooh ♪
823
00:40:15,371 --> 00:40:16,288
♪ Ha ♪
824
00:40:19,792 --> 00:40:20,960
♪ Ooh ♪
825
00:40:21,043 --> 00:40:22,086
♪ Ha ♪
826
00:40:25,464 --> 00:40:27,550
♪ You ♪
827
00:40:27,633 --> 00:40:28,592
♪ Are my desire ♪
828
00:40:31,011 --> 00:40:32,096
♪ You ♪
829
00:40:32,179 --> 00:40:34,265
♪ You make me cry ♪
830
00:40:36,851 --> 00:40:38,727
♪ You ♪
831
00:40:38,811 --> 00:40:40,271
♪ Are my desire ♪
832
00:40:41,981 --> 00:40:43,774
♪ Oh, baby,
you, you, you ♪
833
00:40:43,858 --> 00:40:46,235
♪ You will make me cry ♪
834
00:40:48,571 --> 00:40:51,615
♪ Got to find you
know you're out there ♪
835
00:40:51,699 --> 00:40:53,159
♪ I got to get you… ♪
836
00:40:53,242 --> 00:40:56,620
I can't believe
I'm such a jerk.
837
00:40:56,704 --> 00:40:58,747
He smiles at me
and I don't say anything.
838
00:41:00,791 --> 00:41:04,378
And I can't believe I gave my
panties to a geek.
839
00:41:08,591 --> 00:41:10,551
-What year are you?
-Freshman.
840
00:41:10,634 --> 00:41:11,552
Give me a buck.
841
00:41:12,761 --> 00:41:13,596
Okay, get in.
842
00:41:17,224 --> 00:41:19,977
[all chattering]
843
00:41:27,151 --> 00:41:28,194
Shut up!
844
00:41:30,029 --> 00:41:31,655
Bryce?
845
00:41:31,739 --> 00:41:33,949
Ted?
846
00:41:34,033 --> 00:41:35,159
Go for it.
847
00:41:35,242 --> 00:41:37,161
[drumroll]
848
00:41:41,248 --> 00:41:44,168
[all oohing]
849
00:41:44,251 --> 00:41:46,337
♪♪
850
00:41:46,420 --> 00:41:48,380
[tires screeching]
851
00:41:54,345 --> 00:41:57,598
Hey, uh, listen, uh…
852
00:41:57,681 --> 00:42:00,142
I wanna thank you
for loaning me the Donger.
853
00:42:00,226 --> 00:42:01,435
[horn honking]
854
00:42:04,063 --> 00:42:06,273
He's really bitchin'.
855
00:42:06,357 --> 00:42:07,483
That's okay.
856
00:42:07,566 --> 00:42:08,776
You guys make
a great couple.
857
00:42:11,779 --> 00:42:15,032
I've never been so happy
in my whole life.
858
00:42:15,115 --> 00:42:16,200
You maniac.
859
00:42:18,786 --> 00:42:20,371
Now I have a place
to put my hand.
860
00:42:22,206 --> 00:42:23,749
So basically, Jimmy,
861
00:42:23,832 --> 00:42:27,586
my business is
video game arcades,
862
00:42:27,670 --> 00:42:30,673
laundry, cigarette machines,
863
00:42:30,756 --> 00:42:32,466
and trucking.
864
00:42:32,550 --> 00:42:36,804
I dabble a little bit in
personal loans and politics.
865
00:42:41,141 --> 00:42:42,017
Very nice.
866
00:42:43,978 --> 00:42:46,313
I think that all that
really matters
867
00:42:46,397 --> 00:42:49,233
is that the kids
are happy together.
868
00:42:49,316 --> 00:42:51,735
Just as long as my beautiful
boy remembers
869
00:42:51,819 --> 00:42:53,237
that marrying this one means
870
00:42:53,320 --> 00:42:55,531
he's outta
the girl-of-the-month club.
871
00:42:55,614 --> 00:42:56,532
Hey, wait a minute.
872
00:42:56,615 --> 00:42:57,533
[snorting]
873
00:42:57,616 --> 00:42:58,659
I can still look.
874
00:42:58,742 --> 00:42:59,702
I just can't touch.
875
00:42:59,785 --> 00:43:01,745
Right?
876
00:43:01,829 --> 00:43:03,038
-Ooh, sensitive, huh?
-Rudy.
877
00:43:07,418 --> 00:43:08,627
-Cheers.
-Right on.
878
00:43:11,839 --> 00:43:12,881
Ahh…
879
00:43:12,965 --> 00:43:14,133
You do shots?
880
00:43:14,216 --> 00:43:15,217
Come on, wolf it.
881
00:43:19,597 --> 00:43:20,639
Whoo!
882
00:43:23,976 --> 00:43:24,893
♪♪
883
00:43:24,977 --> 00:43:26,770
[tires screeching]
884
00:43:31,692 --> 00:43:32,901
Uh, good night, Marlene.
885
00:43:32,985 --> 00:43:34,612
See you later, Dong.
886
00:43:34,695 --> 00:43:37,573
Sammy, tell Grandpa
not to wait up.
887
00:43:37,656 --> 00:43:39,241
Let's go boogie.
888
00:43:39,325 --> 00:43:40,451
Sure.
889
00:43:40,534 --> 00:43:42,786
[tires screeching]
890
00:43:42,870 --> 00:43:45,331
Donger's here for five hours
and he's got somebody.
891
00:43:45,414 --> 00:43:47,374
I live here my whole life
and I'm like a disease.
892
00:43:52,212 --> 00:43:53,714
♪♪
893
00:43:57,760 --> 00:44:00,638
♪ So Vinnie
got a rock guitar ♪
894
00:44:00,721 --> 00:44:03,307
♪ She got a lot
of what she got ♪
895
00:44:03,390 --> 00:44:06,143
♪ Joanne is stuck
but so what ♪
896
00:44:06,226 --> 00:44:08,937
♪ She gotta
get you to the job ♪
897
00:44:09,021 --> 00:44:11,815
♪ We're hangin' out
in Vinnie's car ♪
898
00:44:11,899 --> 00:44:14,777
♪ We like
the really loud guitar ♪
899
00:44:14,860 --> 00:44:17,488
♪ Don't ever seem
to get too far ♪
900
00:44:17,571 --> 00:44:19,740
♪ Spend all our money
in a bar ♪
901
00:44:21,700 --> 00:44:24,203
[guests shouting]
902
00:44:33,921 --> 00:44:37,841
Everybody, I'd like you to
meet my boyfriend Jake.
903
00:44:37,925 --> 00:44:41,929
Jake, this is… everybody.
904
00:44:44,348 --> 00:44:46,725
All right, whose is this?
905
00:44:48,102 --> 00:44:48,936
You're such a poop.
906
00:44:55,943 --> 00:44:56,777
[clattering]
907
00:44:59,738 --> 00:45:00,864
[screaming]
908
00:45:00,948 --> 00:45:01,990
[clattering]
909
00:45:23,470 --> 00:45:24,388
Woof!
910
00:45:48,328 --> 00:45:49,163
[beeping]
911
00:45:49,246 --> 00:45:51,081
Shit, Ted, that's my mom,
I gotta get home.
912
00:45:51,165 --> 00:45:52,124
Change your frequency, okay?
913
00:45:52,207 --> 00:45:53,208
Don't be such a wimp.
914
00:45:59,923 --> 00:46:01,842
Take those ridiculous things
off, okay?
915
00:46:04,261 --> 00:46:05,888
Will you guys grow up?
916
00:46:05,971 --> 00:46:08,849
Ted, won't we get pounded
if we go to a senior party?
917
00:46:09,933 --> 00:46:11,894
Wease, we got $70
918
00:46:11,977 --> 00:46:13,812
and we got a pair of
girls' underpants.
919
00:46:13,896 --> 00:46:16,398
We're safe as kittens, okay?
920
00:46:16,482 --> 00:46:19,485
This is a great social
opportunity for us.
921
00:46:19,568 --> 00:46:20,527
Come on.
922
00:46:22,988 --> 00:46:24,281
[beer cans clanking]
923
00:46:32,206 --> 00:46:33,832
Do not embarrass me, okay?
924
00:46:33,916 --> 00:46:34,750
For sure, we won't.
925
00:46:35,792 --> 00:46:36,710
Will you
fix your hair, Bryce?
926
00:46:36,793 --> 00:46:38,879
I already did.
927
00:46:38,962 --> 00:46:41,381
Wease, close your barn,
all right.
928
00:46:42,674 --> 00:46:43,884
[fly zippering]
929
00:46:45,594 --> 00:46:47,012
And be polite to his parents,
all right?
930
00:46:51,141 --> 00:46:53,310
[gong ringing]
931
00:46:53,393 --> 00:46:54,311
Hey!
932
00:46:54,394 --> 00:46:57,940
Come on in and party hearty,
dude persons!
933
00:46:59,274 --> 00:47:02,194
[cackling]
934
00:47:02,277 --> 00:47:03,237
He's from
outta town, okay?
935
00:47:03,320 --> 00:47:04,321
He speaks English, right?
936
00:47:05,239 --> 00:47:06,448
Don't be such faggots.
937
00:47:06,657 --> 00:47:07,491
Man, shut up.
938
00:47:08,158 --> 00:47:09,910
Kidding, sorry.
939
00:47:12,454 --> 00:47:13,914
-Think we're gonna die?
-Definitely.
940
00:47:24,341 --> 00:47:25,717
[phone ringing]
941
00:47:29,888 --> 00:47:31,557
[phone ringing]
942
00:47:33,600 --> 00:47:35,394
Did you put the cat out?
943
00:47:35,477 --> 00:47:38,021
We don't have a cat.
944
00:47:38,105 --> 00:47:38,981
Come on, damn it, answer.
945
00:47:39,064 --> 00:47:41,525
[phone ringing]
946
00:47:49,241 --> 00:47:50,075
Oh, eat me.
947
00:47:52,494 --> 00:47:53,662
[dial tone]
948
00:47:53,745 --> 00:47:54,580
Who is it?
949
00:47:56,957 --> 00:47:58,125
What did they want?
950
00:48:01,086 --> 00:48:02,087
Sex.
951
00:48:03,297 --> 00:48:04,756
♪♪
952
00:48:10,345 --> 00:48:11,179
Geek!
953
00:48:19,730 --> 00:48:21,356
[clattering]
954
00:48:23,567 --> 00:48:25,193
Very nice!
955
00:48:25,277 --> 00:48:27,654
We're here
five minutes and…
956
00:48:27,738 --> 00:48:29,197
I'm at a loss.
957
00:48:29,281 --> 00:48:30,490
[beer cans clattering]
958
00:48:32,117 --> 00:48:33,368
Real smooth, Cliff.
959
00:48:36,204 --> 00:48:37,706
[growling]
960
00:48:41,126 --> 00:48:42,252
[gong ringing]
961
00:48:42,336 --> 00:48:43,337
You know…
962
00:48:45,047 --> 00:48:47,257
I've never been out
with a boy before.
963
00:48:47,341 --> 00:48:48,508
Oh, me neither.
964
00:48:50,135 --> 00:48:51,970
[phone ringing]
965
00:48:57,934 --> 00:48:58,977
[Caroline]
Jake?
966
00:49:00,604 --> 00:49:01,605
Where are you, Jake?
967
00:49:03,607 --> 00:49:05,567
Jakey, have you
stopped loving me?
968
00:49:09,613 --> 00:49:10,447
Leave me alone.
969
00:49:22,626 --> 00:49:23,877
What?
970
00:49:25,128 --> 00:49:27,464
I'm sorry,
I don't do that.
971
00:49:27,547 --> 00:49:29,466
-Yes, you do.
-I know.
972
00:49:29,549 --> 00:49:30,634
Come on.
973
00:49:30,717 --> 00:49:33,929
[Caroline]
Trace, you guys.
974
00:49:34,012 --> 00:49:35,639
Would you guys help me please?
975
00:49:35,722 --> 00:49:37,015
Oh, shit.
976
00:49:37,099 --> 00:49:39,226
Come on, you guys,
I'm your prom queen.
977
00:49:39,309 --> 00:49:40,727
[laughing]
978
00:49:40,811 --> 00:49:42,479
Trace, you guys,
I'm serious.
979
00:49:42,562 --> 00:49:44,064
Come on, I need help.
980
00:49:44,147 --> 00:49:45,399
Okay.
981
00:49:47,234 --> 00:49:49,027
What's the problem?
982
00:49:49,111 --> 00:49:50,237
Several things.
983
00:49:52,364 --> 00:49:53,907
[laughing]
984
00:49:55,367 --> 00:49:56,827
Okay, we'll help you.
985
00:49:56,910 --> 00:49:57,911
Well…
986
00:49:59,287 --> 00:50:01,123
Don't go away,
Caroline, baby.
987
00:50:05,293 --> 00:50:07,212
[phone ringing]
988
00:50:07,295 --> 00:50:08,130
Hello?
989
00:50:08,797 --> 00:50:09,631
Hello?
990
00:50:10,799 --> 00:50:11,842
Listen,
I know you're there.
991
00:50:11,925 --> 00:50:13,510
I can hear you breathing.
992
00:50:18,974 --> 00:50:20,100
Yes, hello, sir, um--
993
00:50:20,183 --> 00:50:21,643
Are you the little bugger
994
00:50:21,727 --> 00:50:25,439
that's been calling up here
all night and then hanging up?
995
00:50:25,522 --> 00:50:27,190
Would it be possible for you
to tell me if there
996
00:50:27,274 --> 00:50:28,734
is a Samantha Baker there?
997
00:50:28,817 --> 00:50:31,319
And if so, sir,
may I converse her briefly?
998
00:50:31,403 --> 00:50:34,948
Yes, it is, and no,
you may not.
999
00:50:36,074 --> 00:50:37,993
Might I leave
a message, sir?
1000
00:50:39,619 --> 00:50:41,747
He wants to leave
a message for Sam.
1001
00:50:42,873 --> 00:50:46,168
Here, give me that phone.
1002
00:50:46,251 --> 00:50:48,336
Now you listen to me,
mister.
1003
00:50:48,420 --> 00:50:50,589
God did not
put me on this earth
1004
00:50:50,672 --> 00:50:52,257
to be awakened by filthy
suggestions
1005
00:50:52,340 --> 00:50:55,469
from a foul-mouthed
hooligan like you.
1006
00:50:55,552 --> 00:50:57,220
And as for our granddaughter,
1007
00:50:57,304 --> 00:50:58,597
I'm sure she has more than
enough sense
1008
00:50:58,680 --> 00:51:00,932
to stay clear
of the likes of you.
1009
00:51:01,016 --> 00:51:02,058
Now goodnight and good-bye.
1010
00:51:03,268 --> 00:51:04,311
[dial tone]
1011
00:51:08,690 --> 00:51:10,650
That was great.
1012
00:51:10,734 --> 00:51:12,736
Sam's lucky she has us,
Howard.
1013
00:51:12,819 --> 00:51:14,446
Yeah.
1014
00:51:14,529 --> 00:51:18,033
Even if she doesn't
appreciate us.
1015
00:51:19,284 --> 00:51:21,036
You promise
you won't get mad?
1016
00:51:21,119 --> 00:51:23,288
No, I love you.
1017
00:51:23,371 --> 00:51:24,247
Okay.
1018
00:51:24,331 --> 00:51:25,207
Close your eyes.
1019
00:51:26,500 --> 00:51:27,751
Scalpel.
1020
00:51:39,721 --> 00:51:40,931
Oh, my God.
1021
00:51:44,017 --> 00:51:45,268
[applauding]
1022
00:51:48,104 --> 00:51:50,398
I don't know how to
thank you enough.
1023
00:51:50,482 --> 00:51:51,775
My pleasure.
1024
00:51:51,858 --> 00:51:52,859
Oh.
1025
00:51:54,611 --> 00:51:56,029
[gong ringing]
1026
00:52:00,325 --> 00:52:01,201
Oh!
1027
00:52:06,331 --> 00:52:07,624
[man]
Nice shot.
1028
00:52:08,708 --> 00:52:10,126
Wow.
1029
00:52:10,210 --> 00:52:11,586
[girl]
I hope they have insurance.
1030
00:52:14,714 --> 00:52:18,009
♪♪
1031
00:52:37,821 --> 00:52:39,281
[beer cans clattering]
1032
00:52:47,706 --> 00:52:52,294
[music skipping]
1033
00:53:15,609 --> 00:53:16,693
What a disaster.
1034
00:53:19,446 --> 00:53:20,363
[beer can clattering]
1035
00:53:22,824 --> 00:53:24,659
♪♪
1036
00:53:30,457 --> 00:53:33,460
[whimpering]
1037
00:53:36,796 --> 00:53:38,423
♪♪
1038
00:53:44,304 --> 00:53:45,263
Jake!
1039
00:53:47,474 --> 00:53:48,558
[Jim] Sam.
1040
00:53:50,268 --> 00:53:51,227
Sweetheart.
1041
00:53:53,688 --> 00:53:55,190
Daddy?
1042
00:53:55,273 --> 00:53:56,232
Hi, kiddo.
1043
00:53:57,442 --> 00:53:59,361
-What's wrong?
-Nothing.
1044
00:53:59,444 --> 00:54:01,988
Everything's fine.
1045
00:54:02,072 --> 00:54:03,490
I was just upstairs
and I couldn't sleep.
1046
00:54:07,535 --> 00:54:09,120
I feel like a real jerk,
honey.
1047
00:54:11,498 --> 00:54:13,625
We forgot your birthday.
1048
00:54:13,708 --> 00:54:16,419
♪♪
1049
00:54:16,503 --> 00:54:19,381
I bet you're really PO'd, huh?
1050
00:54:19,464 --> 00:54:21,883
No, it's okay.
1051
00:54:21,967 --> 00:54:23,593
I'm not really all that
upset anymore.
1052
00:54:25,762 --> 00:54:27,389
This wedding is really
1053
00:54:27,472 --> 00:54:30,433
turning this
entire house inside out.
1054
00:54:30,517 --> 00:54:34,896
And I just came down to tell
you that we did remember.
1055
00:54:34,980 --> 00:54:36,064
Thanks, Dad.
1056
00:54:38,108 --> 00:54:39,192
Happy birthday.
1057
00:54:50,495 --> 00:54:51,997
Is something else wrong?
1058
00:54:54,165 --> 00:54:55,709
-No, why?
-I don't know.
1059
00:54:55,792 --> 00:54:58,003
I just get the feeling that
something's bothering you.
1060
00:54:58,086 --> 00:55:00,964
Something other
than your birthday.
1061
00:55:01,047 --> 00:55:03,425
No, I'm fine.
1062
00:55:03,508 --> 00:55:04,551
Really.
1063
00:55:09,097 --> 00:55:10,223
I think I know what it is.
1064
00:55:13,893 --> 00:55:15,395
It has to do with
a certain guy?
1065
00:55:18,648 --> 00:55:19,607
[sighing]
1066
00:55:23,611 --> 00:55:24,821
I know, honey, I know.
1067
00:55:29,075 --> 00:55:31,536
We're all upset that
Ginny's marrying a bohunk.
1068
00:55:38,001 --> 00:55:39,544
What's the matter?
1069
00:55:39,627 --> 00:55:41,463
[sighing]
1070
00:55:41,546 --> 00:55:43,298
I meant Jake.
1071
00:55:43,381 --> 00:55:45,508
Jake?
1072
00:55:45,592 --> 00:55:47,510
Wait a minute, I thought she
said his name was Rudy.
1073
00:55:47,594 --> 00:55:49,387
Forget it.
1074
00:55:49,471 --> 00:55:51,598
Forget what?
Who's Jake?
1075
00:55:53,975 --> 00:55:55,101
He's a boy, Daddy.
1076
00:55:55,185 --> 00:55:56,311
It's nothing, okay?
1077
00:55:56,394 --> 00:55:58,605
Just forget it, please?
1078
00:55:58,688 --> 00:56:01,691
Come on, Sam,
we're not communicating.
1079
00:56:01,775 --> 00:56:05,403
It's extremely embarrassing,
okay?
1080
00:56:05,487 --> 00:56:07,280
What's embarrassing?
1081
00:56:07,363 --> 00:56:08,782
Sitting in the dark
with your dad,
1082
00:56:08,865 --> 00:56:12,327
telling him
about your love life.
1083
00:56:12,410 --> 00:56:13,953
I'm afraid you lost me
again, Sam.
1084
00:56:17,665 --> 00:56:19,000
Jake is a senior
1085
00:56:19,084 --> 00:56:21,544
and he's beautiful
and perfect
1086
00:56:21,628 --> 00:56:24,339
and I like him a real lot
and he doesn't like me, okay?
1087
00:56:24,422 --> 00:56:25,465
Oh.
1088
00:56:27,258 --> 00:56:29,135
And he's got this
incredible girlfriend.
1089
00:56:29,219 --> 00:56:30,512
I'm just this ridiculous dork
1090
00:56:30,595 --> 00:56:33,014
that's following him around
like a puppy.
1091
00:56:33,098 --> 00:56:34,891
Why do you
think you're a dork?
1092
00:56:34,974 --> 00:56:36,559
I don't think you're
a dork.
1093
00:56:36,643 --> 00:56:38,686
I don't think
Mom thinks you're a dork.
1094
00:56:38,770 --> 00:56:40,188
Mike thinks I'm a dork.
1095
00:56:40,271 --> 00:56:42,524
Mike is a dork.
1096
00:56:42,607 --> 00:56:45,068
So am I.
1097
00:56:45,151 --> 00:56:48,196
Well, if it's any consolation,
I love you.
1098
00:56:48,279 --> 00:56:49,697
And if this guy can't see in you
1099
00:56:49,781 --> 00:56:53,326
all the beautiful and wonderful
things that I see,
1100
00:56:53,409 --> 00:56:55,703
then he's got the problem.
1101
00:56:55,787 --> 00:56:56,704
I know.
1102
00:56:56,788 --> 00:56:59,165
It just hurts.
1103
00:56:59,249 --> 00:57:01,960
That's why they
call them crushes.
1104
00:57:02,043 --> 00:57:06,631
If they were easy, they'd call
them something else.
1105
00:57:06,714 --> 00:57:07,882
You know, if I were Ginny,
1106
00:57:07,966 --> 00:57:10,510
I'd have this guy crawling on
his knees.
1107
00:57:10,593 --> 00:57:13,263
Well, let me tell you
something about Ginny.
1108
00:57:13,346 --> 00:57:15,348
Now, I love her
as much as I love you,
1109
00:57:15,431 --> 00:57:17,725
but she's a different person.
1110
00:57:17,809 --> 00:57:20,478
Sometimes I worry about her.
1111
00:57:20,562 --> 00:57:23,606
You know, when you're given
things kind of easily,
1112
00:57:23,690 --> 00:57:26,067
you don't
always appreciate them.
1113
00:57:26,151 --> 00:57:28,611
With you, I'm not worried.
1114
00:57:28,695 --> 00:57:32,157
When it happens to you,
Samantha, it'll be forever.
1115
00:57:37,203 --> 00:57:39,581
Well, I don't think I'll be
able to sleep
1116
00:57:39,664 --> 00:57:42,584
if I don't feel this
little talk has helped you.
1117
00:57:42,667 --> 00:57:45,378
So would you be a sport
and lie to me?
1118
00:57:45,462 --> 00:57:46,629
Yeah, sure, Daddy.
1119
00:57:48,673 --> 00:57:49,924
-Goodnight, sweetheart.
-Goodnight.
1120
00:57:57,724 --> 00:58:00,185
Oh, one more thing,
sweetheart.
1121
00:58:00,268 --> 00:58:01,603
What?
1122
00:58:01,686 --> 00:58:03,521
When you do find
the right guy,
1123
00:58:03,605 --> 00:58:06,483
don't let him
boss you around.
1124
00:58:06,566 --> 00:58:08,067
Make sure he knows
1125
00:58:08,151 --> 00:58:09,569
you wear the pants
in the family.
1126
00:58:09,652 --> 00:58:11,279
♪♪
1127
00:58:13,281 --> 00:58:14,365
♪♪
1128
00:58:14,449 --> 00:58:15,909
These are really hers?
1129
00:58:15,992 --> 00:58:17,160
Yeah.
1130
00:58:17,243 --> 00:58:18,953
How did
you get 'em?
1131
00:58:19,037 --> 00:58:21,456
She gave 'em to me.
1132
00:58:21,539 --> 00:58:22,707
Did you…
1133
00:58:22,790 --> 00:58:23,708
No.
1134
00:58:23,791 --> 00:58:24,667
No, Jake.
1135
00:58:24,751 --> 00:58:26,503
She's crying for you.
1136
00:58:26,586 --> 00:58:28,171
I told her you
asked about her, right?
1137
00:58:28,254 --> 00:58:29,255
The girl freaked.
1138
00:58:29,339 --> 00:58:30,757
She had a hissy.
1139
00:58:30,840 --> 00:58:32,550
She thinks you're
the cat's meow.
1140
00:58:32,634 --> 00:58:33,843
-Really?
-Yeah.
1141
00:58:33,927 --> 00:58:36,054
She came up to me
in the gym tonight
1142
00:58:36,137 --> 00:58:38,681
and she looked at me
like I was a leper.
1143
00:58:38,765 --> 00:58:40,725
Girls'll do that,
Jake, you know?
1144
00:58:40,808 --> 00:58:43,561
You see, they know guys are
like in perpetual heat, right?
1145
00:58:43,645 --> 00:58:46,606
They know this shit and they
enjoy pumping us up.
1146
00:58:46,689 --> 00:58:49,567
It's pure power politics,
I'm telling you.
1147
00:58:49,651 --> 00:58:51,528
I thought
she hated my guts.
1148
00:58:51,611 --> 00:58:53,029
Games, Jake.
1149
00:58:53,112 --> 00:58:54,739
Silly torturous games.
1150
00:58:54,822 --> 00:58:56,574
You know how many times
a week I go without lunch
1151
00:58:56,658 --> 00:58:59,035
because some bitch borrows my
lunch money, you know?
1152
00:58:59,118 --> 00:59:02,080
Any halfway decent
girl can rob me blind
1153
00:59:02,163 --> 00:59:04,541
because I'm too torqued-up
to say no.
1154
00:59:04,624 --> 00:59:07,043
It's heinous,
I'm telling you.
1155
00:59:07,126 --> 00:59:09,087
You better not be
dicking me around.
1156
00:59:09,170 --> 00:59:10,922
It would be a major downer to
try and get together with this
1157
00:59:11,005 --> 00:59:13,758
girl and find out she really
does think I'm a slime.
1158
00:59:13,841 --> 00:59:16,386
Jake, would I dick you?
1159
00:59:16,469 --> 00:59:18,972
Let me put it
to you this way…
1160
00:59:19,055 --> 00:59:21,724
what happens to me
if I dick you?
1161
00:59:21,808 --> 00:59:23,059
I'd kick your ass.
1162
00:59:23,142 --> 00:59:24,519
Right.
1163
00:59:24,602 --> 00:59:26,854
So why would I lie?
1164
00:59:26,938 --> 00:59:28,606
But I feel compelled to
mention to you, Jake,
1165
00:59:28,690 --> 00:59:30,692
I mean, if all you want off
the girl is a piece of ass,
1166
00:59:30,775 --> 00:59:32,694
I mean, I'll either
do it myself
1167
00:59:32,777 --> 00:59:36,322
or get someone bigger
than me to kick your ass.
1168
00:59:38,324 --> 00:59:40,702
I mean, not many girls in
contemporary American society
1169
00:59:40,785 --> 00:59:43,663
today would give their underwear
to help a geek like me.
1170
00:59:46,374 --> 00:59:48,751
I can get a piece of ass
anytime I want.
1171
00:59:48,835 --> 00:59:50,336
Shit, I got Caroline
in the bedroom right now,
1172
00:59:50,420 --> 00:59:52,046
passed out cold.
1173
00:59:52,130 --> 00:59:55,675
I could violate her 10 different
ways if I wanted to.
1174
00:59:55,758 --> 00:59:57,302
What are
you waiting for?
1175
00:59:57,385 --> 00:59:58,803
I don't know.
1176
00:59:58,886 --> 01:00:01,806
She's beautiful and she's built
and all that.
1177
01:00:01,889 --> 01:00:02,974
I'm just not
interested anymore.
1178
01:00:04,892 --> 01:00:06,728
Does that really
matter, guy?
1179
01:00:06,811 --> 01:00:07,937
Yeah, it matters.
1180
01:00:08,021 --> 01:00:09,647
She's totally
insensitive.
1181
01:00:09,731 --> 01:00:12,233
Look what she did
to my house.
1182
01:00:12,317 --> 01:00:14,611
She doesn't
know shit about love.
1183
01:00:14,694 --> 01:00:17,030
The only thing she cares about
is partying.
1184
01:00:17,113 --> 01:00:19,699
I want a serious girlfriend.
1185
01:00:19,782 --> 01:00:24,495
Somebody I can love who's
going to love me back.
1186
01:00:24,579 --> 01:00:25,788
Is that psycho?
1187
01:00:25,872 --> 01:00:26,706
[spitting]
1188
01:00:28,625 --> 01:00:30,627
That's beautiful, Jake.
1189
01:00:30,710 --> 01:00:32,629
You know, I think a ton of guys
feel the same way as you do.
1190
01:00:32,712 --> 01:00:33,755
Really?
1191
01:00:33,838 --> 01:00:35,465
Yeah, it's just they don't--
1192
01:00:35,548 --> 01:00:37,008
they don't have the balls to
admit it, you know what I mean?
1193
01:00:37,091 --> 01:00:40,053
I mean, they're just--
they're wimps.
1194
01:00:40,136 --> 01:00:43,097
Samantha, she's
really special, you know?
1195
01:00:43,181 --> 01:00:44,682
I'll make a deal
with you.
1196
01:00:44,766 --> 01:00:47,310
Let me keep these.
1197
01:00:47,393 --> 01:00:49,646
I'll let you take
Caroline home.
1198
01:00:49,729 --> 01:00:51,147
But you gotta
make sure she gets home.
1199
01:00:51,230 --> 01:00:53,232
You can't leave her in some
parking lot somewhere.
1200
01:00:53,316 --> 01:00:55,693
Okay?
1201
01:00:55,777 --> 01:00:57,153
Jake, I'm only
a freshman.
1202
01:00:57,236 --> 01:00:58,738
So?
1203
01:00:58,821 --> 01:01:00,823
She's so blitzed
she won't know the difference.
1204
01:01:00,907 --> 01:01:02,700
Jake, I don't have a car.
1205
01:01:02,784 --> 01:01:04,118
You can take mine.
1206
01:01:04,202 --> 01:01:06,829
Jake, I don't
have a license.
1207
01:01:06,913 --> 01:01:08,539
I trust you.
1208
01:01:12,585 --> 01:01:13,753
Jake, I'd love to.
1209
01:01:13,836 --> 01:01:15,421
I can't.
1210
01:01:15,505 --> 01:01:16,464
Want a pretzel?
1211
01:01:16,547 --> 01:01:17,799
You sure?
1212
01:01:17,882 --> 01:01:19,342
Positive.
1213
01:01:31,979 --> 01:01:33,022
I got her.
1214
01:01:33,106 --> 01:01:34,649
-You got her?
-Yeah.
1215
01:01:45,535 --> 01:01:46,869
Is this your car, Jake?
1216
01:01:46,953 --> 01:01:48,121
No, this is my dad's car.
1217
01:01:48,204 --> 01:01:50,707
You said you couldn't
drive a stick.
1218
01:01:50,790 --> 01:01:51,708
This is a mother…
1219
01:01:53,501 --> 01:01:55,712
This is
a Rolls-Royce, Jake.
1220
01:01:55,795 --> 01:01:57,213
-So?
-So?
1221
01:01:57,296 --> 01:01:58,923
So!
1222
01:01:59,006 --> 01:02:01,342
I heard the grill alone
costs five grand on this.
1223
01:02:01,426 --> 01:02:02,552
Five grand.
1224
01:02:02,635 --> 01:02:03,720
Do you have five grand?
1225
01:02:03,803 --> 01:02:05,138
I don't have five grand!
1226
01:02:05,221 --> 01:02:06,347
Then don't hit anything.
1227
01:02:06,431 --> 01:02:07,682
Oh, don't hit anything.
1228
01:02:07,765 --> 01:02:09,934
Do you want to
do this or not?
1229
01:02:10,017 --> 01:02:10,852
No.
1230
01:02:14,522 --> 01:02:16,774
Who the hell--
who does he…
1231
01:02:25,533 --> 01:02:26,784
♪♪
1232
01:02:28,161 --> 01:02:29,203
[gasping]
1233
01:02:39,380 --> 01:02:41,132
Mm-hmm.
1234
01:02:41,215 --> 01:02:42,216
Hmm.
1235
01:02:44,177 --> 01:02:45,970
-Who's he?
-That's me.
1236
01:02:54,270 --> 01:02:55,396
Who are you?
1237
01:02:55,480 --> 01:02:56,773
I'm him.
1238
01:03:02,945 --> 01:03:04,822
Oh.
1239
01:03:04,906 --> 01:03:06,991
Okay.
1240
01:03:07,074 --> 01:03:08,659
She's totally gone.
Have fun.
1241
01:03:08,743 --> 01:03:09,869
Thanks.
1242
01:03:16,584 --> 01:03:18,586
Jake, is your dad
a big man or…
1243
01:03:18,669 --> 01:03:20,004
About 6' 4".
1244
01:03:20,087 --> 01:03:20,922
Very nice.
1245
01:03:24,884 --> 01:03:25,802
Whoa.
1246
01:03:25,885 --> 01:03:26,928
[clattering]
1247
01:03:31,933 --> 01:03:32,934
Whoa.
1248
01:03:34,727 --> 01:03:35,895
Easy.
1249
01:03:35,978 --> 01:03:37,563
Easy… easy.
1250
01:03:39,106 --> 01:03:40,900
♪♪
1251
01:03:43,486 --> 01:03:44,529
[tires screeching]
1252
01:03:47,073 --> 01:03:47,949
[tires screeching]
1253
01:03:56,541 --> 01:03:57,875
♪ Hey sucker ♪
1254
01:03:59,919 --> 01:04:01,379
♪ What the hell's
got into you? ♪
1255
01:04:02,880 --> 01:04:04,799
[long laughing]
1256
01:04:04,882 --> 01:04:06,259
♪ Hey sucker ♪
1257
01:04:06,342 --> 01:04:08,594
[laughing continues]
1258
01:04:08,678 --> 01:04:10,263
[snorting]
1259
01:04:10,346 --> 01:04:13,099
Oh, sexy girlfriend!
1260
01:04:15,935 --> 01:04:16,978
Bonsai!
1261
01:04:18,688 --> 01:04:20,565
♪♪
1262
01:04:26,863 --> 01:04:27,905
[beer cans clattering]
1263
01:04:53,514 --> 01:04:54,348
[beer cans clattering]
1264
01:04:56,267 --> 01:04:57,351
[car doors closing]
1265
01:05:03,316 --> 01:05:04,233
Think they liked us?
1266
01:05:04,317 --> 01:05:05,401
Definitely.
1267
01:05:05,484 --> 01:05:07,653
Whoo!
Go, darling geek!
1268
01:05:07,737 --> 01:05:08,654
Uh, should we turn that music
down a little bit?
1269
01:05:08,738 --> 01:05:09,947
I'm a first-time driver.
1270
01:05:10,031 --> 01:05:11,908
I really-- I really need to
concentrate.
1271
01:05:11,991 --> 01:05:13,075
Excuse me!
1272
01:05:13,159 --> 01:05:15,202
Stop that.
1273
01:05:15,286 --> 01:05:17,163
It looks like rain,
better put the top up.
1274
01:05:17,246 --> 01:05:18,873
Will you stop that?
1275
01:05:18,956 --> 01:05:21,042
You're gonna get us
in a lot of trouble doing that.
1276
01:05:21,125 --> 01:05:22,710
This is a car.
1277
01:05:22,793 --> 01:05:24,086
[tires screeching]
1278
01:05:24,170 --> 01:05:26,839
Somebody's gonna run a triple A
on it already.
1279
01:05:26,923 --> 01:05:29,634
Chug-a-lug, Pooh bear.
1280
01:05:29,717 --> 01:05:31,427
[laughing]
1281
01:05:31,510 --> 01:05:33,220
I can't believe you're so
popular acting like this.
1282
01:05:33,304 --> 01:05:34,639
[bottle shattering]
1283
01:05:34,722 --> 01:05:36,307
[car phone ringing]
1284
01:05:37,850 --> 01:05:39,435
Hello?
1285
01:05:39,518 --> 01:05:40,895
Oh, I don't know.
1286
01:05:40,978 --> 01:05:41,938
I'll have to look.
1287
01:05:42,021 --> 01:05:44,065
Mr. Ryan,
are you in here?
1288
01:05:44,148 --> 01:05:45,441
-He's, uh…
-Where are you?
1289
01:05:45,524 --> 01:05:47,068
Mr. Ryan's not in right now.
1290
01:05:47,151 --> 01:05:49,904
My Christmas present to you.
1291
01:05:49,987 --> 01:05:51,197
Thank you.
1292
01:05:51,280 --> 01:05:52,490
No, I'm really serious.
1293
01:05:52,573 --> 01:05:55,993
See, see?
1294
01:05:56,077 --> 01:05:57,036
Thank you.
1295
01:05:57,119 --> 01:05:59,121
[laughing]
1296
01:05:59,205 --> 01:06:01,874
Now we're both
on the pill.
1297
01:06:01,958 --> 01:06:03,250
[spitting]
1298
01:06:07,546 --> 01:06:09,757
You gave me
a birth-control pill?
1299
01:06:09,840 --> 01:06:12,009
Do you have any idea what
that'll do to a guy my age?
1300
01:06:12,093 --> 01:06:15,054
I know exactly what it'll
do to a girl my age.
1301
01:06:15,137 --> 01:06:17,098
…my car and then-- shit.
1302
01:06:17,181 --> 01:06:19,058
It makes it okay to be
really super careless.
1303
01:06:19,141 --> 01:06:20,685
Wait, wait.
1304
01:06:20,768 --> 01:06:22,061
[horn honking]
1305
01:06:25,231 --> 01:06:27,650
Ha-ha.
1306
01:06:27,733 --> 01:06:29,568
Look, we're not going any
further until you stop these
1307
01:06:29,652 --> 01:06:31,028
childish antics, Caroline.
1308
01:06:31,112 --> 01:06:33,197
Don't be such a poop.
1309
01:06:33,280 --> 01:06:34,991
Hmm.
1310
01:06:35,074 --> 01:06:36,659
On second thought.
1311
01:06:36,742 --> 01:06:37,868
I love you.
1312
01:06:42,832 --> 01:06:44,083
This is getting good.
1313
01:06:45,251 --> 01:06:47,044
♪♪
1314
01:06:48,629 --> 01:06:49,505
[Caroline] Wow!
1315
01:07:03,644 --> 01:07:06,856
[clattering]
1316
01:07:06,939 --> 01:07:08,983
[dog barking]
1317
01:07:09,066 --> 01:07:09,900
Ted?
1318
01:07:09,984 --> 01:07:10,943
What the hell
are you doing?
1319
01:07:11,235 --> 01:07:12,737
Are those humongous
jocks back?
1320
01:07:15,156 --> 01:07:16,365
Cliff, do you have any
film in your camera?
1321
01:07:16,699 --> 01:07:17,533
What?
1322
01:07:18,993 --> 01:07:21,537
Take those
ridiculous things off!
1323
01:07:23,122 --> 01:07:24,165
Do you have any film
in your camera?
1324
01:07:24,248 --> 01:07:25,082
Sure.
1325
01:07:26,125 --> 01:07:28,252
Okay, you guys go get it
and bring it outside, okay?
1326
01:07:28,335 --> 01:07:30,087
-Right out front.
-What for?
1327
01:07:30,171 --> 01:07:33,049
Look, just get it
and come on out front, okay?
1328
01:07:33,132 --> 01:07:34,341
UFO?
1329
01:07:34,425 --> 01:07:36,052
It's better.
1330
01:07:36,135 --> 01:07:37,386
Extraterrestrial?
1331
01:07:37,470 --> 01:07:38,554
It's better, all right?
1332
01:07:38,637 --> 01:07:41,015
Just get it and come on
outside.
1333
01:07:41,098 --> 01:07:43,184
-Female extraterrestrial?
-Female extraterrestrial?
1334
01:07:43,267 --> 01:07:45,978
It's better than--
shh!
1335
01:07:46,062 --> 01:07:48,189
Better than
a female extraterrestrial?
1336
01:07:48,272 --> 01:07:50,274
How do you tell if
it's a female?
1337
01:07:50,357 --> 01:07:51,776
'Cause it's got tits.
1338
01:07:51,859 --> 01:07:53,319
What makes them different
than regular tits?
1339
01:07:53,402 --> 01:07:56,030
They got four.
1340
01:07:56,113 --> 01:07:58,199
Just get the camera,
it's in the closet.
1341
01:07:58,282 --> 01:07:59,200
Don't go in the closet.
1342
01:07:59,283 --> 01:08:01,577
[clattering]
1343
01:08:01,660 --> 01:08:04,330
[dog barking]
1344
01:08:04,413 --> 01:08:05,873
Such assholes,
I can't believe it.
1345
01:08:07,416 --> 01:08:09,085
…photography.
1346
01:08:09,168 --> 01:08:10,669
Well, it's not mine,
you should check that out.
1347
01:08:10,753 --> 01:08:12,004
Why do you always
have to argue?
1348
01:08:12,088 --> 01:08:13,047
-I'm not arguing.
-Yes, you are.
1349
01:08:13,130 --> 01:08:14,048
-I'm not.
-Yes, you are.
1350
01:08:14,131 --> 01:08:15,341
I am not.
1351
01:08:15,424 --> 01:08:16,342
Every time I try to do
something, it's always
1352
01:08:16,425 --> 01:08:17,343
bitch, bitch, bitch--
1353
01:08:17,426 --> 01:08:18,344
Bitch is a female dog.
1354
01:08:18,427 --> 01:08:20,012
I'm not either.
1355
01:08:20,096 --> 01:08:21,472
What's that
supposed to mean?
1356
01:08:22,681 --> 01:08:24,183
-Shit.
-Shoot.
1357
01:08:24,266 --> 01:08:26,310
♪♪
1358
01:08:41,867 --> 01:08:44,078
Ted, that's a Rolls-Royce.
1359
01:08:44,161 --> 01:08:46,038
Ted, that's the prom queen.
1360
01:08:46,122 --> 01:08:48,666
You got two girls
in one night.
1361
01:08:48,749 --> 01:08:50,126
I told you dudes I was hot.
1362
01:08:50,209 --> 01:08:51,418
Hot?
Ted, you're a legend!
1363
01:08:51,502 --> 01:08:53,045
Will you shut up?
1364
01:08:53,129 --> 01:08:55,339
People around here work,
all right?
1365
01:08:55,422 --> 01:08:56,632
And will you hurry it up?
1366
01:08:56,715 --> 01:08:57,842
I'm breaking like
30 major laws here.
1367
01:08:57,925 --> 01:08:59,135
Come on.
1368
01:08:59,218 --> 01:09:01,262
You know, Ted,
nobody's gonna believe you.
1369
01:09:05,933 --> 01:09:09,145
That, my friends, is what
the pictures are for.
1370
01:09:09,228 --> 01:09:10,604
Okay?
1371
01:09:24,618 --> 01:09:26,704
Just get that thing there.
1372
01:09:26,787 --> 01:09:27,913
All right,
you guys ready?
1373
01:09:27,997 --> 01:09:29,623
Wait, hold on.
1374
01:09:32,668 --> 01:09:34,336
You guys know what you're
doing here or what?
1375
01:09:34,420 --> 01:09:36,213
All right,
just a minute.
1376
01:09:36,297 --> 01:09:37,798
-How does this look?
-Very nice.
1377
01:09:39,425 --> 01:09:40,843
Wait a minute,
you know, black-and-white,
1378
01:09:40,926 --> 01:09:42,970
it would just capture the moment
so nicely, wouldn't it?
1379
01:09:43,053 --> 01:09:44,180
-Oh…
-Oh…
1380
01:09:44,263 --> 01:09:46,348
Will you take the picture
already?
1381
01:09:46,432 --> 01:09:47,516
You're pissing me off.
1382
01:09:47,600 --> 01:09:48,642
I'm telling you.
1383
01:09:51,645 --> 01:09:52,730
Smile, pumpkin.
1384
01:09:52,813 --> 01:09:53,772
What?
1385
01:09:53,856 --> 01:09:55,441
Oh, pictures!
1386
01:09:55,524 --> 01:09:56,859
Cheers!
1387
01:10:00,404 --> 01:10:02,072
♪♪
1388
01:10:21,926 --> 01:10:25,262
♪♪
1389
01:10:27,598 --> 01:10:30,392
[long chuckling]
1390
01:10:30,476 --> 01:10:32,186
[dog sniffing]
1391
01:10:32,269 --> 01:10:33,896
Oh, Marlene,
Marlene!
1392
01:10:33,979 --> 01:10:35,814
[laughing]
1393
01:10:37,066 --> 01:10:37,900
Oh, boy…
1394
01:10:38,025 --> 01:10:39,777
Mike, honey, go get dressed.
1395
01:10:39,860 --> 01:10:41,487
I can't believe it,
Ginny's not in the shower.
1396
01:10:43,072 --> 01:10:44,657
I wouldn't go
in there if I were you.
1397
01:10:44,740 --> 01:10:47,076
Grandpa Fred was in there
for a half an hour.
1398
01:10:47,159 --> 01:10:48,285
It's totally polluted.
1399
01:10:48,369 --> 01:10:49,787
Get dressed.
1400
01:10:49,870 --> 01:10:50,913
It's your nose.
1401
01:10:56,168 --> 01:10:57,628
They never listen.
1402
01:10:57,711 --> 01:11:00,005
What was he wearing?
1403
01:11:00,089 --> 01:11:01,674
Well, he would have--
let's see.
1404
01:11:01,757 --> 01:11:04,426
He was wearing
a red argyle sweater
1405
01:11:04,510 --> 01:11:08,847
and tan trousers
and red shoes.
1406
01:11:08,931 --> 01:11:10,432
Hmm?
1407
01:11:10,516 --> 01:11:12,226
No, he's not retarded.
1408
01:11:12,309 --> 01:11:14,436
Now, what can
I do to help?
1409
01:11:14,520 --> 01:11:16,146
Well, you could
finish the French toast.
1410
01:11:16,480 --> 01:11:17,481
Good.
1411
01:11:19,149 --> 01:11:22,027
I'll, um, I'll just open
the doughnuts.
1412
01:11:22,111 --> 01:11:23,028
Good thinking.
1413
01:11:23,112 --> 01:11:24,280
Whoops.
1414
01:11:24,363 --> 01:11:25,489
Don't wanna
lose the nails.
1415
01:11:32,121 --> 01:11:34,123
I'll just wait 'til I hear
from you then.
1416
01:11:34,206 --> 01:11:35,082
Voilà!
1417
01:11:35,165 --> 01:11:36,250
Breakfast is ready.
1418
01:11:38,752 --> 01:11:40,296
Oh, Sam.
1419
01:11:41,839 --> 01:11:45,050
Sam, I am so sorry
about your birthday.
1420
01:11:46,010 --> 01:11:47,094
It's okay.
1421
01:11:47,177 --> 01:11:48,971
I'll recover.
1422
01:11:49,054 --> 01:11:50,514
It's important to you
1423
01:11:51,765 --> 01:11:56,061
and yesterday morning you were
trying to tell me.
1424
01:11:56,603 --> 01:11:58,981
It's okay, Mom.
1425
01:11:59,064 --> 01:12:01,150
These things
sometimes happen.
1426
01:12:01,233 --> 01:12:05,279
Oh, honey, I just feel
miserable.
1427
01:12:05,362 --> 01:12:07,114
You'll feel better.
1428
01:12:07,197 --> 01:12:08,115
Who died?
1429
01:12:10,034 --> 01:12:11,744
Uh…
1430
01:12:11,827 --> 01:12:14,997
is there something you want to
say to your sister?
1431
01:12:15,080 --> 01:12:17,124
What?
Are you kidding?
1432
01:12:17,207 --> 01:12:18,542
Where should I start?
1433
01:12:19,168 --> 01:12:20,836
I mean about her birthday.
1434
01:12:21,545 --> 01:12:22,588
It was yesterday.
1435
01:12:22,671 --> 01:12:23,756
We all forgot.
1436
01:12:23,839 --> 01:12:25,174
[chuckling]
1437
01:12:25,466 --> 01:12:26,383
Classic.
1438
01:12:32,848 --> 01:12:33,682
[door closing]
1439
01:12:33,766 --> 01:12:35,267
Deep down,
he's really sorry.
1440
01:12:39,646 --> 01:12:41,065
-No, he's not.
-No, he's not.
1441
01:12:42,858 --> 01:12:44,151
I have to go to
this wedding
1442
01:12:44,234 --> 01:12:45,652
and look like
Miss Pretty Princess
1443
01:12:45,986 --> 01:12:47,654
in this dipshit's
bridesmaid's dress.
1444
01:12:47,738 --> 01:12:49,198
I don't have one-tenth
of the bod to fill
1445
01:12:49,281 --> 01:12:50,532
the stupid bust up.
1446
01:12:51,367 --> 01:12:52,201
So what?
1447
01:12:52,284 --> 01:12:54,036
Should I just waste myself
and spare the agony?
1448
01:12:54,578 --> 01:12:55,412
I was gonna
tell you something,
1449
01:12:55,496 --> 01:12:57,206
but maybe I shouldn't.
1450
01:12:57,289 --> 01:12:58,248
It's pretty bad.
1451
01:12:58,332 --> 01:12:59,333
You may as well.
1452
01:12:59,416 --> 01:13:01,251
Nothing could
shock me anymore.
1453
01:13:03,295 --> 01:13:04,129
Last night at the dance,
1454
01:13:04,213 --> 01:13:06,173
my little brother paid a buck
to see your underwear.
1455
01:13:07,007 --> 01:13:08,884
Ahh!
1456
01:13:08,967 --> 01:13:12,971
Jeez, I hate that
rock 'n' roll rubbish.
1457
01:13:13,055 --> 01:13:15,432
Well, I'm afraid it's here
to stay, Howie.
1458
01:13:15,516 --> 01:13:17,059
♪♪
1459
01:13:20,604 --> 01:13:22,356
Sam, you're dragging your
dress, honey.
1460
01:13:22,439 --> 01:13:23,273
Pick it up.
1461
01:13:24,108 --> 01:13:25,359
Come on, Ginny.
1462
01:13:25,442 --> 01:13:26,610
Hurry up.
1463
01:13:28,112 --> 01:13:29,029
Do not fuss
at your sister.
1464
01:13:29,113 --> 01:13:30,239
It's her wedding day.
1465
01:13:30,322 --> 01:13:31,198
Big deal.
1466
01:13:31,281 --> 01:13:33,158
All right,
is everybody in?
1467
01:13:34,410 --> 01:13:36,078
♪ He frowns ♪
1468
01:13:36,161 --> 01:13:38,205
♪ Gee, my life's
a funny thing ♪
1469
01:13:38,288 --> 01:13:41,208
♪ Am I still too young ♪
1470
01:13:41,291 --> 01:13:44,837
♪ All night ♪
1471
01:13:44,920 --> 01:13:48,006
♪ She wants
the young American ♪
1472
01:13:48,090 --> 01:13:51,009
♪ Young American
young American ♪
1473
01:13:51,093 --> 01:13:53,137
♪ She wants
the young American ♪
1474
01:13:53,220 --> 01:13:56,598
♪ All night ♪
1475
01:13:56,682 --> 01:13:59,184
♪ She wants
the young American ♪
1476
01:13:59,268 --> 01:14:01,812
♪ Scanning life through
the picture window ♪
1477
01:14:01,895 --> 01:14:04,314
♪ She finds
the slinky vagabond ♪
1478
01:14:04,398 --> 01:14:07,734
♪ He coughs as he passes
her Ford Mustang ♪
1479
01:14:07,818 --> 01:14:10,654
♪ But Heaven forbid
she'll take anything ♪
1480
01:14:10,737 --> 01:14:13,449
♪ But the freak and his type
all for nothing ♪
1481
01:14:13,532 --> 01:14:16,326
♪ He misses a step
and cuts his hand ♪
1482
01:14:16,410 --> 01:14:18,787
♪ But showing nothing he
swoops like a song ♪
1483
01:14:18,871 --> 01:14:20,372
[Fred] Hey, Howard,
there's your Chinaman.
1484
01:14:20,456 --> 01:14:21,290
[Howard]
Oh, thanks, Fred.
1485
01:14:21,373 --> 01:14:22,207
Bye, Dong.
1486
01:14:24,084 --> 01:14:24,918
What the--
1487
01:14:25,252 --> 01:14:27,129
What's he doing on
the ground there?
1488
01:14:27,212 --> 01:14:29,381
[Dorothy]
What happened? What happened?
1489
01:14:29,465 --> 01:14:31,175
Hold a mirror in front
of his mouth!
1490
01:14:31,258 --> 01:14:32,843
Howard, he's dead!
1491
01:14:32,926 --> 01:14:34,428
Aw, shit.
1492
01:14:34,511 --> 01:14:36,430
I pay seven grand for a wedding,
I'll never see it.
1493
01:14:36,513 --> 01:14:39,600
Oh, watch your language,
Mr. Dirty Mouth.
1494
01:14:41,143 --> 01:14:42,769
Oh, thank God,
he is still warm.
1495
01:14:42,853 --> 01:14:44,021
Oh, good.
1496
01:14:44,104 --> 01:14:46,356
Here, help me roll
him over.
1497
01:14:46,440 --> 01:14:47,316
I'll help you, Howard.
1498
01:14:47,399 --> 01:14:49,985
-Oh…
-Shh…
1499
01:14:50,777 --> 01:14:52,738
Canine cologne.
1500
01:14:52,821 --> 01:14:55,908
Oh, no more
yanky my wanky.
1501
01:14:55,991 --> 01:14:57,910
The Donger need food.
1502
01:14:57,993 --> 01:15:00,704
[laughing]
1503
01:15:00,787 --> 01:15:04,208
Hell, he's three sheets
to the wind.
1504
01:15:04,291 --> 01:15:06,168
He's drunk as a skunk.
1505
01:15:06,585 --> 01:15:08,670
Oh, why don't you shut up,
Fred-- shut up.
1506
01:15:08,754 --> 01:15:09,713
Dong.
1507
01:15:11,840 --> 01:15:12,799
Dong.
1508
01:15:13,926 --> 01:15:16,845
Dong, Grandpa
is talking to you.
1509
01:15:16,929 --> 01:15:18,305
[laughing]
1510
01:15:18,722 --> 01:15:20,182
Dong.
1511
01:15:21,183 --> 01:15:24,102
Where is my automobile?
1512
01:15:24,186 --> 01:15:25,687
Automobile?
1513
01:15:25,771 --> 01:15:28,357
[laughing]
1514
01:15:28,440 --> 01:15:30,526
[imitating engine revving]
1515
01:15:32,945 --> 01:15:35,948
[imitating crashing]
1516
01:15:36,031 --> 01:15:37,866
Lake.
1517
01:15:37,950 --> 01:15:40,911
Big lake.
1518
01:15:40,994 --> 01:15:42,746
Why you little scuzzbag!
1519
01:15:42,829 --> 01:15:44,081
Ow!
1520
01:15:44,164 --> 01:15:46,250
[bells tolling]
1521
01:15:46,333 --> 01:15:47,626
Oh, my.
1522
01:15:47,709 --> 01:15:49,711
Is everything all right?
1523
01:15:49,795 --> 01:15:52,506
I was afraid you'd
had an accident.
1524
01:15:52,589 --> 01:15:54,758
I wish.
1525
01:15:54,841 --> 01:15:57,386
Her monthly bill
came early.
1526
01:15:59,972 --> 01:16:01,723
Oh, well, she's fine.
1527
01:16:01,807 --> 01:16:03,642
She just took
a muscle relaxer.
1528
01:16:03,725 --> 01:16:05,644
Try four.
1529
01:16:05,727 --> 01:16:07,104
You didn't.
1530
01:16:07,187 --> 01:16:08,105
Mother.
1531
01:16:08,188 --> 01:16:09,648
♪♪
1532
01:16:27,666 --> 01:16:29,042
Damn, Mom,
I got my head gear on.
1533
01:16:29,126 --> 01:16:30,419
Will you wake up?
1534
01:16:32,838 --> 01:16:35,173
Where the hell am I?
1535
01:16:35,257 --> 01:16:37,342
I'll, uh, tell you
where you are
1536
01:16:37,426 --> 01:16:39,344
if you'll
tell me who you are.
1537
01:16:40,721 --> 01:16:42,639
Farmer Ted.
1538
01:16:42,723 --> 01:16:43,682
You're in the parking lot
across the street
1539
01:16:43,765 --> 01:16:45,225
from my church.
1540
01:16:47,436 --> 01:16:48,604
You own a church?
1541
01:16:54,651 --> 01:16:56,111
What happened?
1542
01:16:56,194 --> 01:16:57,654
I have no idea.
1543
01:17:01,742 --> 01:17:03,952
Uh, did I do that
to your hair?
1544
01:17:06,163 --> 01:17:07,831
At this point,
anything is possible.
1545
01:17:11,710 --> 01:17:12,669
Um…
1546
01:17:15,839 --> 01:17:17,507
Did, um…
1547
01:17:19,426 --> 01:17:20,344
…did we, um--
1548
01:17:20,427 --> 01:17:22,638
Yeah.
1549
01:17:22,721 --> 01:17:23,680
I'm pretty sure.
1550
01:17:26,808 --> 01:17:30,771
Um, excuse me,
but, uh…
1551
01:17:30,854 --> 01:17:31,855
do you know if--
1552
01:17:31,938 --> 01:17:33,357
I mean, did I--
did I enjoy it?
1553
01:17:35,859 --> 01:17:37,235
Am I nuts?
Of course I enjoyed it.
1554
01:17:37,319 --> 01:17:40,864
I mean, um, what I meant was,
um…
1555
01:17:40,947 --> 01:17:41,782
did you?
1556
01:17:43,867 --> 01:17:46,620
Hmm.
1557
01:17:46,703 --> 01:17:49,331
You know, I have this weird
feeling I did.
1558
01:17:55,337 --> 01:17:59,549
[organ playing]
1559
01:17:59,633 --> 01:18:01,009
Here, Ginny, drink this.
1560
01:18:01,093 --> 01:18:03,303
Come on… come on.
1561
01:18:05,806 --> 01:18:07,224
Here.
1562
01:18:07,307 --> 01:18:08,684
[slurping]
1563
01:18:11,728 --> 01:18:13,355
Wow.
1564
01:18:13,438 --> 01:18:15,065
Do I feel funky.
1565
01:18:15,148 --> 01:18:16,149
Uh-huh.
1566
01:18:27,119 --> 01:18:28,578
[doorbell ringing]
1567
01:18:33,625 --> 01:18:34,918
[doorbell ringing]
1568
01:18:36,169 --> 01:18:37,379
Okay, I'm coming.
1569
01:18:39,881 --> 01:18:41,466
Hello?
1570
01:18:41,550 --> 01:18:43,301
Jeez, this place
is so confusing.
1571
01:18:45,554 --> 01:18:46,555
Okay.
1572
01:18:52,894 --> 01:18:55,689
Ahh, ahh, ahh!
1573
01:18:55,772 --> 01:18:59,067
Go away! I call FIB!
I call police!
1574
01:18:59,151 --> 01:19:00,193
Go away!
1575
01:19:00,277 --> 01:19:01,278
Open the door.
1576
01:19:01,361 --> 01:19:02,904
No way, José!
1577
01:19:02,988 --> 01:19:03,989
Open the door.
1578
01:19:04,072 --> 01:19:05,824
You beat up
my face!
1579
01:19:05,907 --> 01:19:06,908
You grabbed my nuts.
1580
01:19:06,992 --> 01:19:08,827
[gong ringing]
1581
01:19:10,996 --> 01:19:12,914
-That you?
-Yeah, that me.
1582
01:19:15,459 --> 01:19:17,085
Oh, so sorry.
1583
01:19:18,295 --> 01:19:21,882
I thought you my new style
American girlfriend.
1584
01:19:22,257 --> 01:19:23,091
Forget it, man.
1585
01:19:23,175 --> 01:19:24,092
Just get Samantha,
all right?
1586
01:19:24,176 --> 01:19:25,469
She not here.
1587
01:19:25,552 --> 01:19:27,262
Don't jerk me around, man.
Where is she?
1588
01:19:27,345 --> 01:19:29,014
-She got married.
-What?
1589
01:19:29,097 --> 01:19:30,557
She at the church.
1590
01:19:30,640 --> 01:19:33,602
She get married to
oily bohunk.
1591
01:19:33,685 --> 01:19:35,645
-Married?
-Married.
1592
01:19:35,729 --> 01:19:38,398
-Married?
-Yeah, married.
1593
01:19:42,194 --> 01:19:43,278
Married?
1594
01:19:43,361 --> 01:19:44,863
Married!
1595
01:19:44,946 --> 01:19:46,198
Jeez!
1596
01:19:46,281 --> 01:19:48,492
[organ playing]
1597
01:19:53,622 --> 01:19:55,916
Are you going to be
all right, sweetie?
1598
01:19:55,999 --> 01:19:58,794
It's gonna be
a piece of cake, Bren.
1599
01:20:01,588 --> 01:20:05,509
Um, Ginny,
I'm really happy for you.
1600
01:20:05,592 --> 01:20:07,552
I'm sorry for being
kind of a jerk lately.
1601
01:20:09,513 --> 01:20:12,057
That's really lovely, Sam.
1602
01:20:12,140 --> 01:20:13,934
I know you'll
have a great marriage.
1603
01:20:18,688 --> 01:20:19,606
[thudding]
1604
01:20:19,689 --> 01:20:20,565
[Brenda] Ginny!
1605
01:20:24,986 --> 01:20:25,821
Holy shit.
1606
01:20:25,904 --> 01:20:27,239
She just had
a cramp.
1607
01:20:27,989 --> 01:20:30,242
[Jim] I don't care what
she's got. Look at her!
1608
01:20:30,325 --> 01:20:31,993
[Brenda] Jim, would you please
be quiet?
1609
01:20:32,077 --> 01:20:33,411
We don't want to
announce to everyone
1610
01:20:33,495 --> 01:20:35,205
-that she has her period.
-[all gasp]
1611
01:20:35,997 --> 01:20:36,873
I guess those guys who thought
we had to get married
1612
01:20:37,374 --> 01:20:39,251
feel pretty stupid
right about now, huh, Padre?
1613
01:20:43,797 --> 01:20:48,134
[organ playing]
1614
01:20:50,428 --> 01:20:53,223
♪ Here comes the bride… ♪
1615
01:21:01,439 --> 01:21:03,233
[blowing raspberry]
1616
01:21:08,947 --> 01:21:10,031
Love the teapot.
1617
01:21:12,701 --> 01:21:13,618
[bells jingling]
1618
01:21:16,621 --> 01:21:18,498
[giggling]
1619
01:21:20,208 --> 01:21:21,585
Could you move over?
1620
01:21:25,964 --> 01:21:27,257
-You okay? You all right?
-I gotta rest.
1621
01:21:29,509 --> 01:21:30,802
What's the matter?
1622
01:21:30,886 --> 01:21:31,970
Here comes the bride.
1623
01:21:35,807 --> 01:21:37,392
Up, up!
1624
01:21:37,475 --> 01:21:38,768
Up… up.
1625
01:21:43,064 --> 01:21:45,483
[all murmuring]
1626
01:21:46,943 --> 01:21:48,361
I got it, I got it!
1627
01:21:53,783 --> 01:21:54,618
Hi.
1628
01:21:55,410 --> 01:21:56,661
I know you.
1629
01:21:59,289 --> 01:22:01,708
Can't see with this thing on.
1630
01:22:03,293 --> 01:22:04,377
[chuckling]
1631
01:22:05,921 --> 01:22:07,589
I never went out
with a freshman.
1632
01:22:09,132 --> 01:22:10,926
Not even when
I was a freshman.
1633
01:22:11,968 --> 01:22:13,762
Me either.
1634
01:22:13,845 --> 01:22:15,055
You were pretty crazy.
1635
01:22:16,556 --> 01:22:18,558
-I was?
-Yeah.
1636
01:22:20,226 --> 01:22:21,102
But you know
what I like best?
1637
01:22:22,187 --> 01:22:23,271
My clean, close shave?
1638
01:22:23,355 --> 01:22:24,189
No.
1639
01:22:26,816 --> 01:22:27,943
Waking up in your arms.
1640
01:22:30,320 --> 01:22:31,488
These things?
1641
01:22:37,327 --> 01:22:38,495
-Shit.
-Hmm?
1642
01:22:38,578 --> 01:22:39,663
Jake!
1643
01:22:39,746 --> 01:22:41,122
Jake!
1644
01:22:43,625 --> 01:22:44,751
Holy shit.
1645
01:22:51,466 --> 01:22:52,884
Stay here, okay?
1646
01:22:52,968 --> 01:22:54,094
Oh, my God.
1647
01:22:59,683 --> 01:23:00,517
I'm dead.
1648
01:23:01,267 --> 01:23:03,144
[car phone ringing]
1649
01:23:10,652 --> 01:23:11,486
Hello?
1650
01:23:11,569 --> 01:23:12,654
[Wease] Ted, you never
called us back.
1651
01:23:12,737 --> 01:23:13,571
What happened?
1652
01:23:14,489 --> 01:23:16,408
Look, Wease, I told you
not to call me here.
1653
01:23:16,491 --> 01:23:17,784
Ted, we're dying.
1654
01:23:17,867 --> 01:23:18,702
What happened?
1655
01:23:18,952 --> 01:23:20,370
You want to know what happened?
1656
01:23:20,453 --> 01:23:21,496
-Buy the book.
-Ted--
1657
01:23:29,963 --> 01:23:32,507
I'm really sorry about getting
you mixed up with that guy.
1658
01:23:32,590 --> 01:23:34,801
Oh, it's okay.
1659
01:23:34,884 --> 01:23:35,927
It wasn't too terrible.
1660
01:23:36,886 --> 01:23:37,721
Weird?
1661
01:23:40,974 --> 01:23:43,101
I'm really sorry about
last night.
1662
01:23:43,184 --> 01:23:44,144
The party.
1663
01:23:45,562 --> 01:23:46,771
Lots of things.
1664
01:23:51,151 --> 01:23:55,488
You know,
neither one of us is gonna die…
1665
01:23:55,572 --> 01:23:57,032
if it doesn't
happen for us.
1666
01:23:58,324 --> 01:23:59,242
That's true.
1667
01:24:00,285 --> 01:24:02,454
I just don't know
right now.
1668
01:24:02,537 --> 01:24:03,663
But I'm covered, okay?
1669
01:24:03,747 --> 01:24:04,748
I won't get hurt.
1670
01:24:07,000 --> 01:24:07,834
Sure.
1671
01:24:11,087 --> 01:24:11,963
I'll leave it up to you.
1672
01:24:14,424 --> 01:24:15,341
Fine.
1673
01:24:24,642 --> 01:24:26,061
[bells tolling]
1674
01:24:44,537 --> 01:24:45,497
Whoo!
1675
01:25:01,930 --> 01:25:02,972
Her veil!
1676
01:25:07,435 --> 01:25:08,269
[glass shattering]
1677
01:25:12,440 --> 01:25:14,025
[camera clicking]
1678
01:25:31,709 --> 01:25:33,044
Come on, honey…
1679
01:25:35,338 --> 01:25:36,631
Honey, come on.
1680
01:25:38,299 --> 01:25:39,134
Time to go.
1681
01:25:42,846 --> 01:25:44,055
[man]
Bon voyage!
1682
01:25:47,142 --> 01:25:48,101
See you later.
1683
01:25:48,184 --> 01:25:49,269
Bye!
1684
01:25:49,352 --> 01:25:50,854
So long, kids!
1685
01:25:50,937 --> 01:25:52,063
[screaming]
1686
01:25:55,859 --> 01:25:57,318
[horn honking]
1687
01:25:59,445 --> 01:26:01,030
[rattling]
1688
01:26:05,410 --> 01:26:07,162
Oh, hi.
1689
01:26:07,245 --> 01:26:09,372
Uh, my sister
forgot her veil.
1690
01:26:09,455 --> 01:26:11,040
I know she wouldn't want
anything to happen to it.
1691
01:26:11,124 --> 01:26:13,793
She's, uh, she's a little
out of it.
1692
01:26:13,877 --> 01:26:15,420
Just a little bit.
1693
01:26:15,587 --> 01:26:16,421
Yeah.
1694
01:26:16,504 --> 01:26:18,464
Uh… well, excuse me.
1695
01:26:18,548 --> 01:26:20,008
Everybody's waiting for me.
1696
01:26:20,091 --> 01:26:22,177
I-- I wanna make sure I see
my sister leave.
1697
01:26:22,260 --> 01:26:23,261
Good-bye.
1698
01:26:24,053 --> 01:26:27,056
Bye.
Oh, I need a drink.
1699
01:26:27,307 --> 01:26:28,308
[rattling]
1700
01:26:40,695 --> 01:26:42,614
♪♪
1701
01:26:58,504 --> 01:27:01,758
♪ If you were here… ♪
1702
01:27:01,841 --> 01:27:03,635
Yeah, you.
1703
01:27:06,763 --> 01:27:10,475
♪ If you were here
you would believe ♪
1704
01:27:14,938 --> 01:27:17,398
♪ Would you suspect… ♪
1705
01:27:17,482 --> 01:27:19,108
-Hi.
-Hi.
1706
01:27:19,192 --> 01:27:20,193
Hi.
1707
01:27:23,905 --> 01:27:25,823
What are you doing here?
1708
01:27:25,907 --> 01:27:26,866
I heard you were here.
1709
01:27:28,326 --> 01:27:29,494
You came here for me?
1710
01:27:30,828 --> 01:27:31,829
Is that okay?
1711
01:27:33,831 --> 01:27:34,791
Yeah, it's okay.
1712
01:27:35,917 --> 01:27:37,710
Do you have to go to
the reception now?
1713
01:27:38,920 --> 01:27:40,296
I'm supposed to.
1714
01:27:41,506 --> 01:27:42,799
Can I call you later?
1715
01:27:43,383 --> 01:27:44,217
Sure.
1716
01:27:46,261 --> 01:27:47,929
I mean, no.
1717
01:27:51,099 --> 01:27:52,392
No, I can't
call you later?
1718
01:27:52,475 --> 01:27:53,518
Yeah.
1719
01:27:55,144 --> 01:27:58,064
No, I mean,
I'm not going to the reception.
1720
01:28:00,066 --> 01:28:01,484
Oh, great.
1721
01:28:46,863 --> 01:28:49,741
Thanks for getting
my undies back.
1722
01:28:49,824 --> 01:28:51,075
Thanks for coming over.
1723
01:28:52,493 --> 01:28:53,828
Thanks for
coming to get me.
1724
01:28:56,664 --> 01:28:58,416
Happy birthday,
Samantha.
1725
01:29:00,793 --> 01:29:02,587
Make a wish.
1726
01:29:05,214 --> 01:29:07,216
It already came true.
1727
01:29:10,011 --> 01:29:11,971
♪ lf you were here ♪
1728
01:29:12,055 --> 01:29:14,640
♪ l could deceive you ♪
1729
01:29:18,519 --> 01:29:20,646
♪ lf you were here ♪
1730
01:29:20,730 --> 01:29:22,607
♪ You would believe ♪
1731
01:29:26,819 --> 01:29:29,364
♪ But would you suspect ♪
1732
01:29:29,447 --> 01:29:33,201
♪ My emotion wandering? ♪
1733
01:29:33,284 --> 01:29:35,161
♪ Yeah ♪
1734
01:29:35,244 --> 01:29:40,249
♪ Do not want a part
of this anymore ♪
1735
01:29:43,920 --> 01:29:47,340
♪♪
1736
01:29:47,423 --> 01:29:51,385
♪ 16 candles ♪
1737
01:29:54,013 --> 01:29:57,892
♪ Make a lovely light ♪
1738
01:30:01,020 --> 01:30:04,315
♪ But not as bright ♪
1739
01:30:07,026 --> 01:30:13,282
♪ As your eyes tonight ♪
1740
01:30:13,366 --> 01:30:17,286
♪ Blow out the candles ♪
1741
01:30:19,872 --> 01:30:23,835
♪ Make your wish come true ♪
1742
01:30:27,338 --> 01:30:30,299
♪ For I'll be wishing ♪
1743
01:30:33,052 --> 01:30:36,973
♪ That you love me, too ♪
1744
01:30:39,809 --> 01:30:43,396
♪ You're only 16 ♪
1745
01:30:45,815 --> 01:30:50,444
♪ But you're my
teenage queen ♪
1746
01:30:53,322 --> 01:30:56,325
♪ You're the prettiest ♪
1747
01:30:56,409 --> 01:30:59,579
♪ The loveliest girl ♪
1748
01:30:59,662 --> 01:31:02,874
♪ I've ever seen ♪
1749
01:31:05,418 --> 01:31:09,338
♪ 16 candles ♪
1750
01:31:11,966 --> 01:31:16,095
♪ In my heart will glow ♪
1751
01:31:19,223 --> 01:31:22,018
♪ And ever
and ever and ever ♪
1752
01:31:22,101 --> 01:31:23,895
♪ Whoa ♪
1753
01:31:25,313 --> 01:31:29,400
♪ For I love you so ♪
1754
01:31:31,402 --> 01:31:32,528
♪ Hey ♪
1755
01:31:57,845 --> 01:32:02,475
♪ 16 candles ♪
1756
01:32:03,768 --> 01:32:04,685
♪ Yeah ♪
1757
01:32:04,769 --> 01:32:06,479
♪ In my heart ♪
1758
01:32:06,562 --> 01:32:10,024
♪ In my heart will glow ♪
1759
01:32:12,151 --> 01:32:16,197
♪ Forever and ever and ever ♪
1760
01:32:18,199 --> 01:32:21,702
♪ For I love you so ♪
1761
01:32:21,786 --> 01:32:27,917
♪ Oh, I love you so ♪
1762
01:32:28,000 --> 01:32:31,420
♪ Whoa, whoa ♪
116257
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