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1
00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:46,874
Kick it, Barnstoneworth!
2
00:01:46,960 --> 00:01:49,839
Get it away, Barnstoneworth!
3
00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:07,756
Barnstoneworth!
4
00:02:08,640 --> 00:02:10,040
Yes, Mum.
5
00:02:10,120 --> 00:02:13,716
Pop down Crighton's and get us
some lard, will you, for tomorrow?
6
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:17,555
I'm learning the Yorkshire Premier League
Cup Team of 1922, Mum.
7
00:02:17,640 --> 00:02:19,472
Look, don't argue.
8
00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:21,119
- Do as I say.
- But, Mum...
9
00:02:21,200 --> 00:02:23,476
What do you want
your Sunday lunch cooked in? Tea?
10
00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:25,552
But Dad said he was going to test me.
11
00:02:25,640 --> 00:02:29,759
Hagerty F, Hagerty R,
Thompkins, Noble, Carrick, Robson,
12
00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:33,516
Crapper, Dewhurst, Mclntyre,
Treadmore and Davitt.
13
00:02:35,160 --> 00:02:39,916
Davitt scored twice in t'last three minutes,
and Frank Hagerty saved a penalty.
14
00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:52,956
Hello, Dad.
15
00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:17,314
Eight-one.
16
00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:19,631
Eight bloody one!
17
00:03:35,640 --> 00:03:39,077
Eight-one to Brighouse!
18
00:03:39,160 --> 00:03:41,994
They're a team of old-age pensioners!
19
00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:46,071
The centre forward wears glasses.
20
00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:47,514
During the match!
21
00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:50,274
Eight goals!
22
00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:55,594
Four of them from
back passes to the goalkeeper! Oh!
23
00:03:56,720 --> 00:03:57,949
They were the worst.
24
00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:07,595
- I'm sorry, love.
25
00:04:31,160 --> 00:04:34,597
Gordon,
your tea's ready, love.
26
00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:59,392
Yorkshire Premier League, 1922.
27
00:04:59,480 --> 00:05:04,509
Hagerty F, Hagerty R,
Thompkins, Noble, Carrick, Robson,
28
00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:10,073
Crapper, Dewhurst, Mclntyre,
Treadmore and Davitt.
29
00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:14,279
Played 19.
Won none, drawn none,
30
00:05:14,360 --> 00:05:17,990
one cancelled owing
to bereavement, lost 18.
31
00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:19,878
Reserve team.
32
00:05:19,960 --> 00:05:23,192
Yorkshire Premier League, 1922.
33
00:05:23,280 --> 00:05:28,674
Alton, Roberts, Carter, Sydney K, Tapwell,
34
00:05:28,760 --> 00:05:34,518
Mason, Manningham, Bailey,
Boswell, Dobkins, O'Grady.
35
00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:39,277
Goals for, 6. Goals against, 81.
36
00:05:39,360 --> 00:05:43,274
Junior team,
Yorkshire Premier League, 1922.
37
00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:48,716
Bunn, Wackett, Buzzard, Stubble,
Boot, Bowman, Baxter...
38
00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:50,951
Oh, shut up!
39
00:05:51,680 --> 00:05:53,831
I'm going out.
40
00:05:55,360 --> 00:05:57,875
- No dripping?
- No.
41
00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:03,430
- Er, Gordon...
- Yes?
42
00:06:03,520 --> 00:06:06,319
Gordon, I've been meaning to tell you.
43
00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:08,551
I'm going to have a baby.
44
00:06:09,680 --> 00:06:11,831
Oh. Right.
45
00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:14,511
Don't wait up for me.
46
00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:16,478
Where are you going?
47
00:06:16,560 --> 00:06:18,870
Somewhere to cheer meself up.
48
00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:34,551
- Cyril.
- Gordon.
49
00:06:34,640 --> 00:06:36,791
Brown, please, Cyril.
50
00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:42,951
John.
51
00:06:48,920 --> 00:06:50,434
Ta.
52
00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:28,515
I know how you feel, Gordon.
53
00:07:38,360 --> 00:07:42,718
The useless, useless, bastards!
54
00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:53,157
Coming to training
on Tuesday night, Gordon?
55
00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:56,711
Yeah.
56
00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:21,235
Right-ho! Come over here, lads.
57
00:08:23,640 --> 00:08:27,350
- Right. Well done, lads.
58
00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:30,391
I want to talk about tactics for Saturday.
59
00:08:30,480 --> 00:08:32,711
He's got my shorts on.
60
00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:35,436
- What?
- Roger Hetfield's got my shorts on.
61
00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:36,590
Now then...
62
00:08:36,680 --> 00:08:39,718
- Can I go at half past six?
- Yes! Now, then...
63
00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:46,436
Saturday, as you all know, is cup tie day.
64
00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:50,674
- And it's our chance to show...
65
00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:57,190
- What's the matter?
66
00:08:57,280 --> 00:08:59,237
He got me shorts on
and he won't give me back!
67
00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:01,277
They were on top of my bag
in t'changing room.
68
00:09:01,360 --> 00:09:02,430
They were on me peg!
69
00:09:02,520 --> 00:09:04,830
- Lord, please.
- They were never on his peg.
70
00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:06,957
I share a peg with him
and I never saw them.
71
00:09:07,040 --> 00:09:08,838
You're a bloody liar, you are, Dunston.
72
00:09:08,920 --> 00:09:11,196
Don't you call me names, you pansy!
73
00:09:11,280 --> 00:09:13,556
- They come out of my bag!
- They bloody didn't!
74
00:09:18,040 --> 00:09:19,440
Stop it!
75
00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:28,032
What the hell do you think you're doing?
Who the hell do you think you are?
76
00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:32,314
I didn't come here
on a free transfer from Walsall
77
00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:36,394
to stand and watch a bunch of morons
arguing about shorts!
78
00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:42,960
I came here...
to create a football team.
79
00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:47,796
A hard, ruthless, tough, fighting unit.
80
00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:51,515
I don't care if your bloody shorts
are on or off
81
00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:55,196
as long as you can two a quick one-two
round an overlapping half-back.
82
00:09:55,280 --> 00:09:58,079
You can wear the sodding things
over your head for all I care,
83
00:09:58,160 --> 00:10:01,471
if you can drop a long ball
right at the centre forward's feet.
84
00:10:01,560 --> 00:10:05,395
You can... You can run the length
of this pitch, stark bollock-naked
85
00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:09,190
if you can poke one
in the corner of the net at the end of it.
86
00:10:10,240 --> 00:10:11,833
Shorts don't matter!
87
00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:16,874
Do you hear?
Shorts have nothing to do with it.
88
00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:21,000
I don't care if they're blue serge shorts
or white cotton shorts,
89
00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:23,640
or green flannel shorts,
or sky-blue shorts
90
00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:27,794
with elastic supporting
hand-stitched Italian waistbands!
91
00:10:27,880 --> 00:10:31,999
I don't care if they're long shorts or
short shorts, or three-quarter length shorts,
92
00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:34,549
or initialled shorts, or monogrammed shorts,
93
00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:37,235
or Billy Meredith signed shorts.
94
00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:39,118
Or shorts made in Ireland.
95
00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:42,193
Or shorts made in Austria,
or shorts made in Timbuk-bloody-tu
96
00:10:42,280 --> 00:10:45,432
with pink stars on
that light up at night.
97
00:10:46,560 --> 00:10:48,950
It's not important.
98
00:10:49,520 --> 00:10:50,954
Do you hear?
99
00:10:51,040 --> 00:10:54,078
They're nothing to do
with bloody football.
100
00:10:55,560 --> 00:10:59,270
The only thing that matters
101
00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:02,319
is what's inside them.
102
00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:05,359
The machine you've got
pounding away in there,
103
00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:08,558
up and down, up and down
for 90 minutes.
104
00:11:10,280 --> 00:11:12,317
You can wear
all the bloody shorts you want.
105
00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:15,279
You can wear 15 woolly pairs
on top of one another,
106
00:11:15,360 --> 00:11:17,352
it won't make a hap'orth of difference
107
00:11:17,440 --> 00:11:21,195
unless that punching, pounding
pulsating machine
108
00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:24,478
can't keep running,
and tackling and fighting.
109
00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:29,555
There! That's what's important!
Look at that!
110
00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:32,075
Not these!
111
00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:37,399
Chuck 'em away. Throw 'em away!
112
00:11:38,880 --> 00:11:42,476
Goodbye, shorts! Hello, football!
113
00:11:55,280 --> 00:11:58,751
Indecent exposure in a bakery.
He'll probably get three years.
114
00:11:58,840 --> 00:12:01,150
That's only the manager.
Centre forward's off with boils,
115
00:12:01,240 --> 00:12:04,199
two half-backs are going to a wedding,
and goalkeeper's got a cold sore.
116
00:12:04,280 --> 00:12:06,511
- Gordon.
- Chairman's called an emergency meeting.
117
00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:11,311
Oi, Dad, when were Barnstoneworth made
full members of t'Yorks Premier League?
118
00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:14,757
August 1907, Division 2.
He'll sort the whole thing out.
119
00:12:14,840 --> 00:12:17,400
Gordon, love.
120
00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:20,359
I'm going to have a baby.
121
00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:22,671
About bloody time, that's all I can say.
122
00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:27,395
You what, love?
123
00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:30,075
I'd say it's about bloody time
Chairman put his nose around the door
124
00:12:30,160 --> 00:12:33,153
and took an interest in the club.
Don't wait up for me, love.
125
00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:47,911
- Cyril.
- Gordon.
126
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:50,469
What's up tonight, you think, then?
127
00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:55,273
- I think we're gonna buy Arsenal's manager.
- Oh, aye? Arsenal's a team and all.
128
00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:57,317
- How's Vera?
- Not bad.
129
00:12:57,400 --> 00:12:59,073
Fighting's stopped.
130
00:12:59,960 --> 00:13:03,158
- Gentlemen, please! Gentlemen!
131
00:13:06,560 --> 00:13:09,155
Gentlemen, fellow supporters.
132
00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:11,835
I'm glad to see
so many of you here tonight.
133
00:13:11,920 --> 00:13:16,790
Now, the last few years have not
been kind to Barnstoneworth United.
134
00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:19,076
One look at the results board will tell you.
135
00:13:19,160 --> 00:13:23,200
This continued lack of success
and the consequent damage
136
00:13:23,280 --> 00:13:26,034
to the financial situation of the club,
137
00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:30,433
coupled with the pending court proceedings
against our manager, Mr Dainty,
138
00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:35,151
has impressed upon your board of directors
the need for urgent action.
139
00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:37,960
- About time!
140
00:13:39,880 --> 00:13:44,432
We have therefore decided,
as from Tuesday next week,
141
00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:47,797
to sell Barnstoneworth United Football Club,
142
00:13:49,840 --> 00:13:52,799
its players, grounds and premises
143
00:13:52,880 --> 00:13:56,590
to the Arthur Foggen Scrap Corporation
for redevelopment.
144
00:13:56,680 --> 00:14:01,709
They have assured us that the name
of Barnstoneworth United Football Club
145
00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:05,157
will not be forgotten,
and have kindly consented
146
00:14:05,240 --> 00:14:08,597
to name one of their steel scrap
crushing mills after the club.
147
00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:13,597
Saturday's cup tie
against Denley Moor Academicals
148
00:14:13,680 --> 00:14:17,071
will therefore be the last game
at the Sewage Works Ground.
149
00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:21,040
Believe me,
we have not taken such a decision...
150
00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:27,030
Barnstoneworth!
Barnstoneworth! Barnstoneworth!
151
00:14:27,120 --> 00:14:29,476
Barnstoneworth! Barnstoneworth!
152
00:14:29,560 --> 00:14:34,555
Barnstoneworth! Barnstoneworth!
Barnstoneworth! Barnstoneworth...
153
00:15:02,160 --> 00:15:07,713
"Your supper is in the oven.
P.S. I am going to have a baby."
154
00:16:23,280 --> 00:16:25,511
- Foggen.
- Oh, uh...
155
00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:28,320
- Could I have a word with you for a minute?
- Is it about scrap?
156
00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:33,600
- It's about the football club.
- Well, then it's about scrap. Come in.
157
00:16:44,840 --> 00:16:46,638
- My wife.
- Good evening.
158
00:16:46,720 --> 00:16:49,235
- How do you do?
- That just arrived today.
159
00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:53,997
Fourteen bogeys from the Scottish Railway
Company. That's lovely scrap metal.
160
00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:58,472
Worth 15,000 in the open market.
I'll get 20 for it.
161
00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:05,833
- Sit down.
- Oh, thank you.
162
00:17:08,120 --> 00:17:10,430
- Drink?
- Uh, no. No, thank you.
163
00:17:10,520 --> 00:17:12,637
I love scrap!
164
00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:15,315
I've always loved scrap.
165
00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:17,551
Ever since I could walk,
166
00:17:17,640 --> 00:17:19,996
I've always wanted
to be deeply involved with it.
167
00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:26,196
Now I've got 12 heaps in four major cities.
And why?
168
00:17:26,280 --> 00:17:30,752
Because there's only one thing
I love better than scrap.
169
00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:34,194
And that's success.
170
00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:38,712
Well, what can I do for you, Mr...
171
00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:42,316
Uh, Ottershaw. Gordon Ottershaw.
172
00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:44,437
- I, uh...
- Come on, lad.
173
00:17:44,520 --> 00:17:47,877
I've been blunt with you.
Be blunt with me.
174
00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:51,397
Well, I want Barnstoneworth United
to stay as a football club.
175
00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:53,915
"I want." I like the sound of that.
176
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:57,835
Why do you want Barnstoneworth United
to stay a football club?
177
00:17:57,920 --> 00:18:01,152
- Well, because...that's what it is.
- Wrong.
178
00:18:01,240 --> 00:18:04,312
Barnstoneworth United hasn't been
a football club for years.
179
00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:06,915
It's been a rest home
for the physically incompetent.
180
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:10,232
I could've had cows on that pitch
for the last three years.
181
00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:12,118
They'd have paid for themselves.
182
00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:13,350
And scored more goals.
183
00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:17,320
Well, we're just going through a...
bad...patch.
184
00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:20,677
Bad patch!
You don't know what you're talking about.
185
00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:23,992
Do you know when they last won a game
at the Sewage Works Ground?
186
00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:28,233
- I'll tell you.
- October 7th, 1931. Two-nil against Pudsey.
187
00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:31,313
- Right.
- Hagerty F, Ferris, Noble, Codran,
188
00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:34,791
Crapper, Davison, Sullivan, O'Grady,
Kemball, Hacker and Davitt.
189
00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:37,918
Davitt scored twice.
Once in 21st minute, once in 28th minute.
190
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:39,116
- Kenny Davitt...
- Neville Davitt.
191
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:40,395
Ah, yes. Neville Davitt.
192
00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:42,836
He was a player.
He were bald, weren't he?
193
00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:45,799
- Aye.
- Aye, he had a head like stainless steel.
194
00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:48,236
The ball came off it like a.22 rifle bullet.
195
00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:51,552
He once scored with the back of his head
from 28 yards
196
00:18:51,640 --> 00:18:53,916
against Barnsley Reserves in 1922.
197
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:56,913
Aye, that were a night.
It were cup, weren't it?
198
00:18:57,000 --> 00:19:00,277
Yorkshire Cup. Fourth round replay.
Hagerty R, Hagerty J,
199
00:19:00,360 --> 00:19:03,671
- Thompkins, Noble, Carrick.
- Carrick! He were a player too.
200
00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:06,229
Robson, Crapper, Dewhurst, Mclntyre,
Treadmore and Davitt.
201
00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:08,676
Three-all, five-three after extra time.
202
00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:11,673
Davitt scored twice in the last three minutes,
and Frank Hagerty saved a penalty.
203
00:19:11,760 --> 00:19:14,514
Aye, that were a night!
204
00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:18,310
God, there must have been
10,000 people down there.
205
00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:22,997
10,118.
They had coaches over from Leeds.
206
00:19:23,080 --> 00:19:25,800
- Coaches from Leeds.
207
00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:29,394
Still, then's then, and now's now.
208
00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:32,598
Time is the general manager
on our board, Mr Ottershaw,
209
00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:36,310
and it goes marching on relentlessly,
waiting for no man,
210
00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:39,438
hand in hand with
the scrap merchants of this land.
211
00:19:41,040 --> 00:19:43,794
I wonder what on earth
became of Neville Davitt.
212
00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:49,274
- He's running a butcher shop in Bradley.
- Old Baldy, running a butcher shop!
213
00:19:49,360 --> 00:19:52,398
Ken Carrick works in a glue factory
in Todmorden.
214
00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:53,880
What a bloody waste.
215
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:59,797
A glue factory for a man who can
crack a goalpost in two from a halfway line.
216
00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:01,872
He works in same shed
as Harry Treadmore.
217
00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:06,398
Harry Treadmore. By crikey,
they were a team in those days.
218
00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:09,837
They can be, again, Mr Foggen,
if you just give 'em a chance.
219
00:20:09,920 --> 00:20:12,276
What's it got to do with you?
220
00:20:12,360 --> 00:20:13,794
Well, just a supporter.
221
00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:16,873
Ha-ha! I didn't think
there were any of them left.
222
00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:20,192
Well, I keep hoping somebody
might come along, you know?
223
00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:25,230
- Another Neville Davitt, Kenny Carrick.
- You're getting soft again, Mr Ottershaw.
224
00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:27,835
Them days have gone
and they won't come back.
225
00:20:27,920 --> 00:20:30,355
If they did, people like me
would be out of business.
226
00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:31,715
Now, if you don't mind,
227
00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:35,680
I've got half a hundredweight of
steel filings to sort out before morning.
228
00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:42,040
Well, been nice talking to you.
229
00:20:42,120 --> 00:20:46,160
- Well, Saturday'll be the last match, then?
- Yeah.
230
00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:49,472
There's lots of good games over in Leeds.
Why don't you get a season ticket?
231
00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:51,119
Oh, aye, well, I...
232
00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:54,880
I'll probably give up football for a bit.
233
00:20:57,640 --> 00:21:01,031
- Well, good night, then.
- Good night.
234
00:21:11,360 --> 00:21:14,592
- Ottershaw.
- Yes?
235
00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:17,593
Have you ever thought
about a job in scrap?
236
00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:38,472
They can win.
237
00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:40,950
- I know they can.
- Let's hear it again.
238
00:21:41,040 --> 00:21:44,511
Atthorpe, Biggs, Gutterson, Lyle...
239
00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:50,756
No! Gladstone, Rosebery, Salisbury,
Balfour, Campbell-Bannerman...
240
00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:54,197
- Froggatt?
- No! Asquith!
241
00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:59,594
Asquith! Asquith! Asquith!
242
00:22:03,080 --> 00:22:05,311
Gordon, did you hear that?
243
00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:07,995
Now, that boy has got
history school certificate today,
244
00:22:08,080 --> 00:22:10,311
and he still gets his British prime ministers
245
00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:13,598
muddled up with Barnstoneworth Reserves
for 1914.
246
00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:16,559
Now, you've got to stop
filling his head with football.
247
00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:19,109
It's not healthy and it's no bloody use.
248
00:22:19,200 --> 00:22:21,271
Well, he's not gonna be prime minister.
249
00:22:21,360 --> 00:22:24,273
Not gonna be a footballer, is he?
250
00:22:24,360 --> 00:22:26,272
He may be...yet.
251
00:22:27,080 --> 00:22:31,552
You know he can't kick a ball straight.
He hates it.
252
00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:33,632
And how would you like
to be called Barnstoneworth?
253
00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:34,995
He's got another name.
254
00:22:35,080 --> 00:22:36,594
United!
255
00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:39,070
What sort of name is that?
256
00:22:39,160 --> 00:22:41,629
I wish you'd let him be
what he wants, Gordon.
257
00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:46,158
Hagerty F, Hagerty R, Thompkins, Noble,
Carrick, Davitt. It doesn't matter.
258
00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:48,471
When will you realise, Gordon,
that it doesn't matter
259
00:22:48,560 --> 00:22:52,315
who the hell played for Barnstoneworth
bloody United in 1922?
260
00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:54,631
- But what is important, Gordon...
- Yeah.
261
00:22:54,720 --> 00:22:56,677
- ...is that I am going to...
- Yes!
262
00:22:56,760 --> 00:22:59,912
- Oh, yes!
- Going to...
263
00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:01,912
- Where are you going?
- Bradley.
264
00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:04,674
- Bradley? What for?
- Shopping!
265
00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:07,480
Gordon. Gordon?
266
00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:12,351
Gordon. Gordon!
Before you go anywhere, we must talk!
267
00:23:12,440 --> 00:23:14,159
Don't wait up for me, love!
268
00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:18,593
I'm going to have a baby!
269
00:23:52,440 --> 00:23:54,477
- Mr Davitt?
- Aye.
270
00:23:54,560 --> 00:23:58,679
Neville Davitt?
My name's Ottershaw. Gordon Ottershaw.
271
00:23:58,760 --> 00:24:01,320
- Er, I'm from Barnstoneworth.
- Oh, aye?
272
00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:05,474
Oh, yeah, I used to be a great fan of yours
when you played for United.
273
00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:08,075
- I remember your, uh...
- Yes?
274
00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:11,312
Well, you know...
er, before you had...
275
00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:16,077
- Well, when you still had...
- Fastest legs in West Yorkshire?
276
00:24:16,160 --> 00:24:18,470
Yes, yes. And, er...
277
00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:22,631
You know, all those goals
you scored from the, er...
278
00:24:22,720 --> 00:24:25,792
- Penalty spot?
- Yes.
279
00:24:27,360 --> 00:24:29,875
But, you know, the... the headers.
280
00:24:29,960 --> 00:24:34,273
No. Never scored with me head. Couldn't
afford to with a head of hair like this.
281
00:24:34,360 --> 00:24:37,797
I've always been proud of me hair.
Always will be.
282
00:26:08,120 --> 00:26:11,397
Bloody embarrassing this is going to be.
283
00:26:11,480 --> 00:26:13,631
We should have
called the whole match off.
284
00:26:13,720 --> 00:26:16,679
Half the team's sick or missing.
285
00:26:16,760 --> 00:26:19,036
Why the hell we couldn't...
286
00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:22,911
Why, Mr Foggen!
287
00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:26,311
I haven't seen you down here
for a year or two.
288
00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:28,997
Come to look around the premises, eh?
289
00:26:29,080 --> 00:26:31,197
Make a lovely scrap heap, this.
290
00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:35,115
No, I've come to see Barnstoneworth
win a match.
291
00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:38,272
I shouldn't hang around getting cold
if I were you, Mr Foggen.
292
00:26:38,360 --> 00:26:40,920
Your Mr Ottershaw told me they'd win.
293
00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:44,755
Ottershaw! Now, don't you go
worrying about him, Mr Foggen.
294
00:26:44,840 --> 00:26:48,516
He's enthusiastic. I like enthusiasm.
295
00:26:48,600 --> 00:26:50,478
Obsessed, I'd call it.
296
00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:52,517
It's a form of madness, you know?
297
00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:54,432
Wearing your scarf in bed,
298
00:26:54,520 --> 00:26:57,479
calling your kid Barnstoneworth.
299
00:26:57,560 --> 00:27:00,997
I'd like to see them win again.
300
00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:02,959
I'd like to see them turn up.
301
00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:11,192
That's Denley Moor.
They got Olthwaite at number eight.
302
00:27:11,840 --> 00:27:14,036
Aye, aye. The bank robber.
303
00:27:14,120 --> 00:27:15,952
It was never proved.
304
00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:19,037
Come on, Denley! Come on, Denley!
305
00:27:19,120 --> 00:27:22,272
Oh, come on, Barnstoneworth.
Where are you?
306
00:27:26,280 --> 00:27:28,272
It's three o'clock.
307
00:27:28,360 --> 00:27:29,714
Who the hell's that?
308
00:27:32,280 --> 00:27:34,078
That's our manager.
309
00:27:39,160 --> 00:27:42,358
- What the hell's going on?
- Just the four of them turned up,
310
00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:45,194
and only three of them have got shorts.
311
00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:49,274
- I don't believe you.
- Don't worry, I can play.
312
00:27:49,360 --> 00:27:51,716
I can show them a thing or two.
313
00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:55,714
I'm sure you could, Mr Dainty,
but that's not what they came to see.
314
00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:58,872
- What a bloody way to go.
315
00:28:03,720 --> 00:28:05,393
Sorry we're late.
316
00:28:28,960 --> 00:28:31,555
- Right, lads.
- Right, come on, lads.
317
00:28:31,640 --> 00:28:33,472
- Hold on.
318
00:28:55,200 --> 00:28:56,600
Come on, Davitt. Come on.
319
00:29:35,960 --> 00:29:38,236
Good old Barnestoneworth!
Hooray!
320
00:29:44,720 --> 00:29:49,715
Barnstoneworth!
Barnstoneworth! Barnstoneworth!
321
00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:12,989
Eight-one! Eight-bloody-one!
322
00:31:41,200 --> 00:31:44,830
Gordon?
Are you all right, Gordon?
323
00:31:44,920 --> 00:31:49,312
Gordon? Gordon? Gordon...
24545
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