All language subtitles for An.Idiot.Abroad.S02E04.Whale.Watching.720p.BluRay.x264-SHORTBREHD

Things to do before you die:

see glaciers
before they melt,

Going on Safari in Africa,

meet the mammals
largest mammals in the world.

The ultimate experiences
to be experienced before we die.

Or is it?

If I were going to die, I certainly wouldn't want to
climb Mount Kilimanjaro.

They are not the things to do a few minutes
before you die,

But in life.

Easy guys, easy!

It's hard, he was too suspicious
after the other time.

Oh... Oh Lord!

We told him to choose from the list
what he wanted to do.

Damn monkeys.

But there will still be
surprises that you don't expect

- Damn.
- He is a reluctant man,

Who doesn't want to do these things.

- Let yourself go.
- No.

Karl will do what others
want to do before they die.

Yes, that's right.
It's not his list!

Fucking assholes!

Piloting a fighter bomber.
No way.

I don't care.

Climbing a bridge.
No way.

Dead Sea.
I've been there.

What do you choose, Karl?

- Whale watching.
- Okay, good choice.

- Why?
- Whales are wonderful, aren't they?

- Yes.
- Like the larger animals.

Their tongue is as big
as big as an elephant.

That makes sense, doesn't it? It would be strange
if it were the size of a man.

If you said to me, "They are big,
and they have tongues as big as a man."

I would still like to see them.

We will send you to Alaska
to do whale watching.

Would you like to spend
some time with Eskimos?

They are actually called Inuit.

Eskimo is derogatory.

Who posed this problem?

I have never heard
an Eskimo complain.

What do they care?

What rule is it?
"Pygmies are not pygmies, they are dwarfs."

The same for Eskimos.

- And for leprechauns.
- Leprechauns do not exist!

- Leprechauns do not exist!
- It is the same thing.

- They would say, "Don't call us that!"
- How, then?

- Gnomes, or...
- They prefer to be called gnomes!

- What a mess!
- Oh, God!

I'm just saying that it's never
the person in question

- To be offended, but someone else.
- Yes.

Whale watching, then?
- Good.

Good.

I complained a lot
last time.

I said to myself, "How much you complain."
It was the heat.

If you think about it, countries at war
or where people die

Are always the hottest.
And you get worked up.

Will there be Eskimos in the war?

In my opinion they are quiet.

The problem will be cold weather,

But I'm going to make it.
I have a special jacket.

The visuals are not great,

If there is a whale,
I probably won't see it.

Check this out.

- How are you doing?
- I'm feeling jet-lagged.

It is a little cold.

But I can't wait

Of seeing whales.
That's what I'm here for, right?

Hi, it's Steve.

Ricky and I talked

And we feel it is a pity
that you don't know the local culture.

So you will also visit
the Arctic Circle.

I know how much you like to walk,

so a nice guy
Will go with you on the scenic route.

Agreed?
Have a good trip, bye!

But wasn't there
global warming?

Wasn't the ice melting?
There is so much of it here!

- Hi.
- Marty?

Yes, Marty Raney.

How are you doing?

- You must be Karl.
- Yes, I am.

- Have you been shopping?
- There's something for you back there.

One of these sleds is mine.
Your backpack is there, it's like mine.

Let's hear how much it weighs.

Where are we going?
Do we really need this?

- There is some stuff that is not needed....
- No.

We need it.
We mean business here.

That seems a little too much
for a walk.

Okay, now shut up and listen.

I had heard it
as I waited for you.

It is beautiful silence,
I like it.

- Do you like silence?
- Yes.

It is something spiritual.

I was going to say.
There is peace here.

Is there even more peace up there?

Fuck you!

Yes, just you...

...bastard!

Hey, man!
You all right?

I don't understand how you do it.

Karl, this is called...

- Are you okay?
- Yes.

- Are you sure?
- Yes.

- Do you want to take a break?
- I will not be deterred.

I like to walk, I really do.

I walk all the time,
it relaxes me.

But here you can't.
It is too difficult.

Two feet of snow is too much.

Get up and go again!
You can do it!

- Yes.
- Use the sticks.

- Are you okay?
- Yes.

Bloody bastard...

It is always better to conserve energy,
in case you need them.

If a polar bear pops up,
you have to deal with it.

But you have no energy,
Because you are swimming in the snow.

Everything okay?

Oh, shit.
Wait a minute!

I used to say to him:
"Do we have to do this?"

He said, "Yes, you will like it!
It's a great life lesson!"

- Everything okay?
- Yes, it turned over.

It is not very comfortable.

If it was like this in England, I would say:
"Okay, let's stay at home today."

I would watch the marathon
of The Lieutenant Columbo.

- Karl.
- What?

- What happened.
- The sled tipped over.

- Do you want a hand?
- No, I can manage.

I can do it.

Karl?

- I'll go back and help you!
- No, stay there!

Those are my skis,
don't lose them!

That's great!
Are you all right, buddy?

Yes, I did it.

All right?

Yes, you are making me use
all the breath.

If you say to me, "All right?"
I have to say, "Yes."

- And I'm running out of breath.
- Okay.

Are you sure?

- Indeed!

Fuck you.
This is crazy.

- Can it be eaten?
- Yes.

- Is it clean?
- There is no cleaner snow in the world.

- Is that okay?
- Yes.

I was thirsty. "Do you have any water, Marty?"
"No, it weighs too much."

Wait, but here I have a spade
That we are not using.

I think water is more useful
than walking around with a shovel.

Also, when do we use it?

Three feet of snow!

"Do I use the spade?"
"Not yet."

When, at what time...

How high does it have to be before you say

"Okay get the spade."

I am concerned...

...I'm following in Marty's footsteps,
what if he stepped in dog shit?

Let's go!

What shall we do?
Are we going to go skiing?

I am concerned.

In the end,
it's like going down the slide.

But if you do it as an adult,
people say:

"Look at that jerk on the slide!"
"What's he doing up there?"

For me it's the same thing,
but on my feet I have skis.

Follow.

- Are you coming? Hold on tight!
- Yes, I'm coming.

- Keep your legs closed.
- Fuck you.

Grow up!
Stop being an asshole in the hills!

Okay.
To go up, you turn to the side.

It's hard with the backpack
and the sled, I know.

- Do you know that I have never skied?
- I didn't know, but now we learn.

Eddie Eagle also had
his own problems. And he was an Olympian.

Concentrate well.

- Close skiing...fantastic!
- Great.

Can you stop saying that?
Everything is great.

I no longer have a yardstick.

- Where are you going?
- Follow me!

We had a hamburger.
"Great." Okay, easy.

It is a hamburger.
Say it's good.

He is enthusiastic about anything.

Don't panic, you're doing fine.
Great!

You did great.
Bravo!

It is not easy.

We are two kilometers
from where we will spend the night.

And when we get there it will be dark,
so we have to stay focused.

- They are!
- Fantastic!

- Fuck you!
- And now it's all downhill!

He is right.

All downhill
since I arrived.

What is the bathroom situation like here?

There is no bathroom.

But here is one.

Do you have a room for the bathroom...

This is just
to get some privacy.

We are in the middle of nowhere.
I don't need privacy.

- Option one: you can do it there.
- Yes, it's not a problem.

Option two: you get...

...a nice piece...

...Of toilet paper, if you will.

Are you kidding?

No, I'm not kidding,
take this.

Wait...you kept telling me
to always keep your gloves on

And now I'm supposed to wipe my ass
with a piece of ice?

And now that I think about it,
you made me eat it.

You said:
"The cleanest snow in the world."

Jesus.

My hands are so cold
that I can't play.

I wrote this song.
Are you ready? It goes like this.

You are my caribou.

When you are not there
I feel lonely.

I am as lost as a bear,

An antlerless deer.

You are my caribou.

You are so special to me.

- Are you all right?
- I've been awake for hours.

You can leave the door open,
it makes no difference. It's freezing.

I have never spent
a night like this.

I basically didn't sleep.

- It's cozy here.
- That's the problem.

In fact, people at home will think:

"Beautiful, it looks like a Swiss chalet....

A little wooden house."

It doesn't.
There is no thermal insulation.

It is a hut,

That at home is good
To grow tomatoes.

But if you have to sleep there.
There's a heater there that doesn't work.

It does absolutely nothing.
Then in the corner is a vacuum cleaner.

The thing you really need here
is the heating.

Vacuuming,
so you get warm.

It's freezing.

I do all this,
I get dressed properly and you think:

"Oh, here he goes off on an adventure again."

Instead I'm just going
to brush my teeth.

- You all right, man?
- How's it going?

I'm freezing my ass off.

Really?

I checked the weather forecast

And they would put -3, -2...

I'm sorry, what does that mean?

If it was this temperature at home,
you would say, "Chilly today, right?"

And you wouldn't go for a walk.
Yesterday I was nine hours

In two feet of snow.

It's great here,
it will be 15 degrees.

We walked
Hampstead to High Gate,

we had a cappuccino
and a latte.

In London, it has indeed come
spring.

You know when you wake up in the morning
And you say, "I have to pee"?

Or, "I am thirsty, I must drink"?

I woke up at two o'clock
because I had to put on my hat.

This is how it is here.
It is not relaxing.

That is the least relaxing part.

Listen, stop complaining

Because you're finally going
to see the Eskimos.

I am in the village of Barrow,
at the northernmost point of Alaska.

You will get there
On an ice truck.

- Well, see you later.
- See you later.

Just snow, ice
and an Eskimo village.

- Really?
- There's nothing up there.

I call it
"the armpit of the universe."

- Is it that bad?
- It's the last place I'd want to live.

And the Inuit who live there
make hunting expeditions

And they struggle with polar bears.

Maybe they come while they are sleeping
And pull them out.

- They pull out what?
- They pull Inuit out of shelters.

- People?
- Yes.

For polar bears, anything that
moves and smells is food.

Anything.

Do they really pull you out?

If you are inside a shelter,
yes, they get you out.

That's why they no longer stay in igloos.

- It's like a full refrigerator....
- Yes.

- Because there is always someone inside.
- A full refrigerator, that's right.

Barrow tip...

...It will be an experience
that will change your life.

If you could choose something
On the list of last wishes,

what would you do?
You could do anything.

See or eat anything.

I would go to Australia,

Or around the world,
but certainly not in Punta Barrow.

I'm going to visit these Eskimos.

Ideal day for hanging out laundry.

Rosabelle.
How are you doing?

- Get in.
- What is your name?

- Karl.
- Karl.

Jamie.

Welcome to the top of the world.

- Yes, I know, it's...
- Yes!

You can't go
higher than this, can you?

- Right at the top.
- That's right.

It's freezing.
Heat should go to the top.

Here it does not.

Cold.
Shall I take off my shoes?

- If you want to.
- Only if you want to.

For what reason
did you come to Barrow, Alaska?

- To see a whale.
- Oh, really?

A big whale.
I want to see one.

- I want to see one.
- Do you want to see maktaaq?

- Maktuk?
- Maktaaq.

- Maktuk?
- Maktaaq.

- Chuck. Mak...
- No, Taaq.

- Are you hungry?
- A little bit, yes.

But is this the Eskimo version
Of Ageless Hearts?

- What's going on.
- The last remnants of an Arctic whale.

- Is that whale?
- Yes, it is whale.

- Can I see.
- Arctic whale.

We eat it both fresh and frozen.

When I said I came
To see a whale,

I was saying while swimming,
not in a plastic bag.

- I'll take a small piece.
- Yeah, sure.

If I eat meat,
it's usually cooked. It's hot.

Here they take the stuff from the freezer
And they suck it up.

Like a buffet.
Open the refrigerator

And suck some carrots
and a piece of meat.

It is like eating popsicles.

- It smells fishy, but it's delicious.
- Yes, it smells fishy.

You can also.

What's it like?

Is it good?

- It is chewy.
- Taste this.

This is frozen caribou.
We eat it frozen.

Why do you have an oven?

You have the oven,
but everything is cold.

Hello?

What is it?
What has happened?

I saw that they were elderly
And I thought, "Great!

I sit down,
and maybe they take a nap.

You know how it is,
the excitement of the visit."

And she says, "I'll take you out."
And I thought:

"Maybe we'll go play bingo,

Or shopping, or ...
something the elderly do."

- It is beautiful!
- What?

- Weather.
- My feet are frozen.

- Yes!
- Yes!

- But that's okay!
- Not really.

He took a snowmobile.

And he says to me:
"Come, I'll take you to Punta Barrow!"

No helmet or anything.
I thought, "Look at her.

With bifocals and everything.
He shouldn't be driving."

- Do you need a license for these?
- What?

I said, "Do you need a license
to drive one of these?"

She couldn't hear.
And I was talking to her.

- If I have to pee.
- What?

Are there toilets?

I was shouting this way, shouting that way....
To see if he could hear me.

Are there bathrooms in Punta Barrow?

He does not see or hear us.

And she was driving the snowmobile.

I got a headache!

He said:
"You will see, Punta Barrow is beautiful!"

I have no idea.

Indeed!

Point Barrow!

Is this it?

Are we there yet?

- What?
- Is it that one there?

- Yes!
- But there is nothing here!

This place is beautiful.

- Beautiful?
- Yes, beautiful.

But it's the same as where we were before!

- What?
- It's the same as where we were before!

Welcome to Punta Barrow, Karl.

Barrow tip.

- This one here?
- Yes!

It is the northernmost point in the world.

Right here.

And this is all ice.

I see.

What do you do when you come here?

I drink from my thermos,
but I didn't bring it.

- What did you not bring?
- The thermos.

Didn't you say to bring tea?

No, I thought there was something here.
Like a bar.

- Coffee, tea, cake...
- I didn't bring anything.

Perfect.

If you are on top of the world, it means
that you are happy, on top of the world.

I am freezing,
my nose is running

And I can't feel my feet.

I'm frostbitten.

I thought there was something to see.

There are whale bones everywhere.

They are everywhere.
Giant piles of whale bones.

It is quite a problem,
if you think about it.

It's not like eating chicken.

The chicken bones
You can give them to the cat, or throw them away.

Here are bones the size
as big as a Ford Fiesta.

Everyone knows what you ate.
It's in the garden.

Giant bones you can't throw away.

Can you hear me?

- Yes.
- Do you know where we are?

I feel like a breath mint fresh

On an ice cube.

You complain because it's a little cold,
because you are in the middle of nowhere...

I don't understand, you chose the trip.
What did you expect it to be like?

Because I thought
I would see a whale.

And when I see a whale on TV,
there is always the calm ocean,

you can see the fin
and the hole from where it shoots out the water,

- And also some good music.
- Indeed.

And now they are in a giant refrigerator.

The situation has gotten out of hand.
I'm freezing my ass off.

But the important thing is the experience,
is something to do before you die.

It's not dangerous, is it?

Some of it is,
there are polar bears around.

You will not be eaten
by a polar bear, but

at the medical examination

you didn't have us tested
for testicular cancer,

Or the prostate one, right?

No.

- No. But it's...
- Why not?

In the United Kingdom.

more people die
than prostate or testicular cancer

Of those mauled
by a polar bear.

This is not the time to talk about it,
I am in the middle of nowhere.

It is one of the biggest causes of death.
A simple test is done.

A doctor sticks his finger in your anus

And says:
"Okay, all right!"

And you can relax
for another year.

I don't understand why all of a sudden
you care so much.

It is draining the battery.

It's almost ending.
If something happens, I'm dead.

- All right.
- So leave my testicles alone.

This does not happen at Bear Grylls.

Gotta go.

- I'll talk to you later.
- All right.

- Bye, see you later.
- Bye.

I will never see whales.

What is the point of
to watch the program in HD?

Even the color is useless!

I'm getting a headache!

I don't understand. How can there be
all this with the sun?

How strange.

But this is even worse,
Because it blinds you.

Of the rest, however, if you live here
And you go blind, you're not missing anything.

There is nothing to see.

When I talked to Ricky,
he said:

"Don't make snowmen
or other crap.

Live the experience

firsthand,
find out what life is like in that community."

- Hi, I'm Karl.
- I'm Rob.

- How do you do?
- Pleasure.

Come with me
and pick up some trash.

If they need me
they call me on the radio.

What kind of garbage?
I mean, they call you...

Slurry.

You know, the ones in the toilet.

Little did I know that the experience
would be a mountain of shit.

It's a lot, isn't it?
Is it one day's worth?

It depends on the house.

Now I turn it over,
and I step aside.

- Okay.
- So if it splashes I don't get dirty.

They call them honey baskets,

That sounds nice,
you might as well call it

Your boyfriend or girlfriend.
But when you see them.

- Here, you try it.
- Quick!

- Don't get dirty!
- It's coming out of the...

That's it!
Bravo!

Oh God Almighty!

I don't understand
why they call it that.

It's just a bucket with bags in it
full of piss and shit.

That smell is my money.

There was a lot of shit in that.
It was heavy!

It may be,
sometimes they are filled to the brim.

Apparently,
there are not in every home.

But many people use
these honey baskets,

Which are then plastic buckets.
And you can use them anywhere in the house.

The more I think about it, the more I say to myself.

that I like the idea
of being at home

and be able to shit

Where ever I want. Sometimes it is a problem,
for example, if there is a game.

You have to wait until the end
of the first half,

Then you take the bucket
and do it in front of the TV.

You wouldn't need Sky Plus.

Things to do before you die.
Please.

Come on, next.
Let's make it quick!

Not possible.

What does that stuff look like?

You think it's okay,
then you shake it a little bit

And the stench wakes up.

No, I did it again!

He was being called
continuously on the radio.

"Quick, come to number 188!"
"What is the emergency?"

- I need a bucket!
- What's wrong with yours?

Then you realize it yourself.
The bucket is left there and it's frozen.

- It's frozen!
- Is the shit frozen?

- Yes!
- When did you last empty it?

The other day they forgot
to pick it up!

He was furious.
This is their only problem.

Strange as a problem, isn't it?

You have a tub of shit
That you can't get rid of.

It was the only time
I've seen an Eskimo agitated.

- Can I have a bucket?
- Yes, of course.

- Take this.
- Thank you!

You are welcome. Remember to give me
the tip at Christmas!

Okay, now stop
being an Arctic jerk,

there are whales to see.

It will be more fun
going there with sled dogs,

But only if they are treated well
and if they want to take you.

If not, you walk.
Okay?

Don't yell at them or hit them.

Feed them
and entertain them.

Don't force them to do
what you want them to do.

They must not have bad paws.

If they have bad,

BUY SHOES.

Okay? See you later!

Are you all right?

- How are you doing?
- You must be Karl.

- Yes, that's me.
- Hello, Bill Carter. Nice to meet you.

Here is your team.

This is Woodrow,
the mute chief.

- Is he in charge?
- Yes.

- Woodrow?
- Woodrow.

Easy, nice.

Wait!
Sit down!

- This is Jessie.
- Jessie?

Yes, Jessie.

Why is it so frozen here?

- This is Simon.
- Hello, Simon.

Karl?

It's like being at a wedding:

"This is Frank,
the cousin of the stepfather of..."

And a second later
you've already forgotten it.

They stink.

- They stay here...
- I can't hear you!

I don't feel anything!

...so they don't run away!

It's good for me to do that.

It's like when I go
to a friend who has a baby.

I can tell right away
I don't want one.

That's right.

I go up, but he gave me
only these instructions:

"Use the anchor to stop
And the brake to slow down."

But maybe that's not enough, is it?

- Okay.
- He pulls me back.

- My foot is on the brake!
- Find the speed.

- Keep your foot on the brake.
- Oh, shit! I'm letting him go!

Shit!

Fuck you!

Woodrow.

Shit, a speed bump!

Slow down!

It was like being in the supermarket,
when you jump over a trolley

And you launch yourself. I'm very good at it.
It's the same adrenaline.

You have no control.

Slow down, you idiots!

But what lake is this?

Easy, guys, easy!

Fucking stop!

Stop!

I asked:
"When dogs get old,

What do you do?"
"Nothing, we retire them."

What does it mean?

You go to the dog hospice
And you say, "I want this."

And you throw him a ball,
he leaves and never comes back.

I wonder how it works.

Where is the two feet of snow today?

They don't listen to me.
I used to call them by name,

I had my foot on the brake,
but there's ice!

You don't brake on ice.
You just slide.

You looked gangly to me.

No, fuck, stop!

Shit!

Stop!

Fucking stop!

- Where are we going?
- The river is frozen.

But wasn't it a lake?

- It's a river.
- What is this stuff?

It's water.
It's all right.

- Can we stop for a moment?
- Yes.

You see, they don't listen.
It's getting harder and harder.

They do what they want,
the brake doesn't work,

Is all a waste of time.

My legs and arms hurt.
What?

But.

...I had never done that!
You take me to the rivers...

What's over there?

Easy, beautiful.

How many hours are left?

How many hours are left?

How many hours?

Shit!

Finally, there is field.

I turned on the phone
and there were a couple of messages.

Let's see who thought of me.
Maybe Suzanne has been looking for me.

Maybe mom and dad.
The first message was from Ricky,

asking me
whether the doctor came.

Again with this story
Of the finger in the ass.

That's not going to happen.

Especially not on television.

I certainly don't want to do it here.

The frozen water,
the doctor with cold hands.

That's the last thing I want.

I think I also have a fever.

Hard to know,
it is too cold.

- Karl.
- Hi, buddy, how are you doing?

All right.
Where are you?

In the middle of nowhere, as always.
I came to see the whales.

The only ones I have seen
are already dead.

There are bones everywhere.

I know you're there for the whales,
but while you're there

it would be absurd
not to go and see the glaciers.

But.
Steve, seriously.

I saw nothing but
Than snow and ice.

There is enough as it is.

The glaciers
are melting fast,

at a rate
of about 500 meters per year.

Some at 100 meters per day.

Is it on the way
to go to the whales?

More or less.
They are in the water.

The whales are in the water.
It will be an aquatic experience.

- Okay.
- Enjoy.

I don't know, Steve cares for me to see them
Before they are gone.

I don't think they will disappear,
it's too cold here!

Global warming.

And look how I'm harnessed!

This story
worried my Aunt Nora very much.

With no more ice,
he thought:

"And now how do I do
With my rum and coke?"

"But no, it's just a mountain."
"Ah, okay."

It's nice, I like it.

Nice colors, sure.
But I don't understand what Steve wants from me.

He wants you to see the effects
of global warming.

You don't have to tell me.
Tell it to Suzanne,

And to its energy waste.

Hair dryer on all the time.
I don't.

I go energy-saving
Because I am bald.

I don't waste water
to wash my hair.

No hair dryer.

If she cared about anything
She would shave her head!

What are they doing back there?
I saw a little boat.

Steve wanted
me to see him up close!

- Swimming in glacier water.
- How close?

Let's not do nonsense.
It's dangerous.

If I am there in the middle swimming
And a piece of it falls out,

a wave is formed
And I am dead.

Karl?

- How is the water?
- Beautiful.

- Karl?
- Yes?

You should go into the water.

Ah.

- Need a hand?
- It's a little...

It would not be bad
if there was a whale.

That would be a good reason
to enter

And take a look.

There is nothing here.

What's the point?

Huh?

Floating
like a bag of chips.

I saw the whales on TV.

I would like to see a real one
Before they all die.

They always say,
they will be gone in a while.

It's like when you go to visit
your grandmother in the hospital,

And they tell you
that you have one week left. Tough, huh?

It is not always the right time,

maybe he is in a bad mood,

But you do it for her, right?
And I do the same thing here.

See them before they die.

- Hello.
- Hello.

- How are you doing?
- I'm...

I am really exhausted.

Listen,
don't get sick.

We need to give you a medical examination.

You understand, don't you?
We have to check your prostate

And your testicles.

I have already told you,
I haven't met any doctors here.

It didn't happen.

- But...yes.
- Good.

- So.
- Make sure they are real doctors.

I made the same mistake
With Dr. Fox.

Never again.

All right.

Today you are going to see

What you came for.

Whale watching.

I found you a boat.
It's not one of those for tourists.

Another privilege for you.

You will not be among
with the usual idiots.

It is a fishing boat

And my friend Brian
will take care of you.

Another unique experience
and unrepeatable

For you, Karl Pilkington.

My treat.
Have fun, buddy.

- Okay. See you later.
- Bye.

I don't mind seeing so many,
but just one, nice and big one.

One that makes me say:
"Holy cow!

What the heck is that?

Look how big it is!"

I like fish,
but I don't eat it.

There's a lot
of weird stuff in the ocean.

There is the lantern fish.

He has a light bulb on his head

Because it is very dark down there.

And there is a guy
who once caught one,

put it in an aquarium

And used it to read at night.

A fish that comes in handy.

When Suzanne wants a fish,
I tell her, "What's the point?"

But I would like one of those,

because she leaves
always the light on.

And I go around
turning off switches.

Hey, Karl!
Come on, it's time for the cutter!

Give the kids a hand.

Give him a suit.

Size L.

Stench.

- How long will we be out?
- Just tonight.

Inside is clean, but outside

there is fish oil.

Gross.

Things to do before you die, eh?

This is the fun part!

Watch out for the knife,
I wouldn't want to...

Did they run him over?
I've never seen an octopus run down like that.

Look at him!

Is it turned inside out?

- It looks like a fanny pack!
- Yes, it is turned inside out.

Cut, boy!
Come on! Cut!

I am,
I am cutting!

I wanted to see a whale.
But instead I'm here.

I feel sick.

He is wandering
around the boat like a madman.

- Shit.
- Cut.

Good,
now we smash them, like this.

Give it your all, guys.

I have to get some air.
I can't do that.

He said we will stay out
all night. I can't.

Everything is swaying now.

I don't know who to be angry with.
With this, with Ricky, or with whom?

- Cut, you guys!
- Yes.

This is death.

Get out of this body!

Message received at 6:20 a.m.

Look, I'm stuck
On this boat like an asshole,

it's getting dark
And I don't know how long I've been here.

My head is spinning.

This is absurd.

I'm wearing a jumpsuit
And I eat Fisherman's.

I feel...ugh!

See you later.

Is it better inside or outside?

Cut it out guys!

I don't want to be a fisherman.
I never said I wanted to be one.

It's not worth it!

All this fuss over a fish!

Zac Efron.

Please!

King Kong.

It's not even funny.

Why doesn't it work?
It can be heard but there is no image.

But does the TV work?

I'm going crazy.

- What is it, boy?
- Can you turn on the TV, please?

- Can you turn on the TV, please?
- Let's go!

- I don't want to clean the fish!
- We watch TV in the galley.

- I don't cut anything anymore.
- Come!

- No, no.
- Come!

I don't know.
What a pity.

- I didn't come to cut the fish.
- We are working!

I'm looking at King Kong!

I'm going crazy.

The longest intro in history.

Come on.

Why can't I throw up?

- Karl?
- What?

What?

- What?
- There are whales!

- Really?
- Yes, they are over there.

- Where.
- There.

I can only go so far.

Have them put...

Whale, up front there.

Where.

I have to lie down.
I feel better if I lie down.

There, look there.
Do you see the head?

You can't see them from there, Karl.

I don't care anymore.

- Tell me when we are close.
- Over there!

- Beautiful!
- Emerges!

- Look at the tail!
- Oh, the fin.

It has a tail and everything.

Go!

I hope you enjoyed the whales.

Beautiful.

I just wanted to reassure you.

I know you haven't had
prostate examination.

I fixed you one
as soon as you get back to England.

So relax.

Bye buddy, see you later.