Original subtitles

So I decided to document myself.

How I feel and yeah...

What's going to happen next, I don't know.

But I know by next week

after the 10th of May,

which is five days before my 28th birthday,

things will change and...

I have a chance to talk about the truth,

what happened to me two years ago,

which have been, I feel,

which has been ignored.

Um...

This could be a big change

in my life

and some others or many others.

And I'm...

not sure.

I'm scared and I'm not sure

if I could be responsible for that

but all I want to do is talk about the truth.

- Yes. - Yes.

Right.

Yes.

I wanna hide myself

and just, you know, try to not be in public

so, yeah.

Say that again?

Sunglasses? Okay, yeah, I will do that.

You know, many people already witnessed

what kind of negative reactions I got.

And...

That's not okay.

I mean, I don't want to be a bad example

for these people who need to speak,

need to ask for help.

And let them think,

"Okay, this is what's going to happen"

and "I can't do this."

No. This is not okay.

So, I have to be speaking up.

I shouldn't stop speaking

because I don't want to let people know this...

You know, this made me shut up. No.

These are transcripts.

I recorded our conversations

between investigators and prosecutors.

Just because...

From the beginning,

I didn't feel like they were doing their job.

And I felt like everything they said was an excuse.

So yeah, I hid a small recorder in my bra

or wherever I could hide on my body.

I recorded in the past two years.

One of the I think most important things

in this recording is that this investigator...

I'm calling him Investigator "A".

He... A helped us get insider information.

So yeah, here, we can see what he said,

what he found.

Um...

And without these recordings, no one would believe,

no one would believe what I heard.

Yes.

Yes.

Okay, tell me, what is this?

"Black Box." That's the title of our book.

Of my book.

It's a term

that the prosecutor was always using.

He was always saying, "Because it's in a Black Box,

we'll never know what was really happening."

And I think that tells everything

about our justice system, how it's not working.

It just came.

This is the... Now I feel completed.

That I have a name for my book.

Black Box.

Yeah! More wine.

This is green box.

Look what we have, it's like a five liter of wine.

I love my green box.

Oh my gosh, that was the investigator.

So yeah, we're gonna meet at 6.

Next week, on the 13th, on Wednesday.

And I have a feeling,

of course he wants to talk about something.

Maybe he decided to come out, you know. I hope so.

Maybe he would talk that he wants to...

He wants to believe

and he wants to take his own path

to tell the truth and yeah, be part of it.

I have mixed emotions now,

because if I reveal what I've been writing in my book,

if that gets out

he could lose his job, so...

It's so hard to think.

I don't know what's the good thing to do.

But you know, if you're a journalist

who would go really into politicians'

house and stomach

and they have to know you're a journalist

and they have to know this can get out.

And our job is to tell the truth.

But he's a good guy,

so...

What?

That looks like the van we saw.

Really?

I feel like I just say it so casually.

"Do you have wiretap detector?"

He's like, "Okay, let me check."

Is it my radio mic, maybe?

I'm the one. Hello.

Let's try again.

Hang on.

It's still working.

Yes.

Thank you.

My publisher just sent it to me.

My family doesn't know

that this would come out in 13 days.

I couldn't deal with them saying no

because I knew this has to happen

but I'm putting them in danger.

I still remember

what my dad told me.

They knew...

I was telling them I'm gonna do the press conference

and they're like,

"I know that you're not here to discuss with us."

"You decided and you're just telling us

that you're gonna do but we wanna stop this."

And my dad said, "You know, as a father,

I want my daughter to have a normal, happy life.

Meet someone, married, have a child.

Hope you can live close to us."

I know I can do it anywhere

and for me,

being silenced wasn■t an option to be happy.

But if this takes away the opportunity

to be close to them...

The funny thing is I even wrote my will saying,

I know my condition wasn't good

right after the press conference

but I'm never gonna commit suicide

and if something happened to me,

and it seems like I committed suicide,

please investigate.

Because that's not who I am now

and if that happened

please promise me to publish the book

and publish this documentary.

I wrote this last Saturday.

Just thinking I want to go see the nature

and I couldn't,

I was so scared going by myself.

We received a call...

I received a call from my lawyer.

And he was saying

that the Tokyo mayor wanted me to join her new party

and run for the next snap election.

And

people are saying that if this...

After this election if things go on Abe's side,

there's no guarantee for my life.

Which is bullshit, but...

Can I say that? Which is really bad.

Tomorrow it's gonna be the election.

My publisher thought it would be better

if I would stay somewhere away from media

and where it's a bit more secure.

The election is tomorrow.

That's that.

And we're all gonna see the result and that's that.

And I'm not part of it.

I'm just a journalist

who experienced it and period.

I don't know what people are expecting me to do and say.

I'm not an activist, I'm not a figure,

I'm not propaganda for anything.

I'm so tired all of the sudden.

Maybe it's all the pressure.

I don't feel pressure

and I don't need this pressure.

Really. It's not my...

It's not my... Yeah. It's not my...

I saw one guy reading it, standing there.

But he just put it down, so.

I should have said something, telling him,

"I read that book and it's good.

I read it like four times already and it's good."

And the thing is,

because this famous producer from Hollywood

many women came forward

to talk about what he has done to them,

there's a hashtag called MeToo.

And I feel like, yeah, everywhere in the world,

people start speaking up and talking about it.

It's just amazing, I'm very excited.

I don't know her name.

It's just there's an email address.

"I was thinking for a while,

but now you're publishing a book

so I really want to tell you."

"I was so ashamed that we are the same gender."

"Do you think you had done nothing wrong?"

"I have been raised very strictly,

that I can avoid these things."

"Even though whatever you are saying is the truth,

I feel so bad for the man you are accusing."

"Shame on you."

Yeah...

It just makes me think it's been 6 months.

Since I became "this girl who was raped"

to the public.

I just got an email

from the New York Times Tokyo bureau chief.

Um...

She finally published my story.

I met her about half a year ago.

And yeah,

they've been waiting for the chance

to publish their story

and they thought this is the time so they just did.

So far,

they have been the only media

which succeeded to talk to Mr. Yamaguchi.

She told me that over the phone

about two weeks ago.

And I was just reading the article.

And suddenly, I could see his forehead

as I was scrolling down the article.

I got panic attack.

Just the latest photo of him makes me feel this way.

I don't know what I was thinking,

to be in a court

thinking I might see him in front of my eyes.

What I realized was that I...

The only motivation of talking about this,

being alive, doing this

is the way for me to be a journalist,

to look this, what happened to me,

as a sort of third person.

And when I became this person,

I didn't think I could stand this anymore.

I realized how...

How I haven't been faced to myself.

I wanna meet the person from Ministry of Justice.

Yeah.

It's not just about sexual violence.

It's about problem of power,

of misusing the power.

It's all of us, who could be victim,

perpetrator, or observer.

You know the story about the Qiangdong CEO.

She said all her friends didn't want to push her

because it's too much for her.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

I got this email from the doorman

at Sheraton Hotel.

He remembers the night very well.

He reported it to the police,

but the hotel made him not to talk about it.

Ladies and gentlemen,

please welcome to the stage, Mr. Yamaguchi.

You asserted very clearly

that you have done nothing illegal.

However, when you look back on the events of that night,

do you have any regret?

Are there any things

which you wish you had done differently?

Do you believe you made any mistakes

even though they may not have been

mistakes that broke the law?

Um... I'm now fighting

that I didn't commit any crime at all.

This is my first step.

But...

If I'm mentioning, besides the legal point of view,

there might be some misunderstanding

that if I say "regret,"

that some journalist might connect illegality.

But I really regret what happened.

Because she suffered a lot.

She got so many PTSD

and me too.

So, that's really unfortunate incident

and I have a lot of regrets

ethically.

But still, I have to claim

that I didn't do anything illegal.

Is that enough for you?

[But then I spent so many nights