All language subtitles for 22.Kids.and.Counting.S05E03.1080p.HDTV.H264-DARKFLiX[EZTVx.to]_[English] (SUBRIP)

SALLY LINDSAY:
'Meet Britain's biggest family.'

SUE EXCLAIMS
'22 kids...'

Aww, look.
'..ten grandkids...'

She's perfect.
'..seven dogs.'

SUE SCREAMS
'All growing up fast.'

Whoo!
SHE GIGGLES

'And the bigger the kids,
the bigger the problems.'

It's horrible for me,
that... that situation.

I'm just not BLEEP happy.

'From relationship crises...'

She is a bit of a hothead,
and she stresses out quite a bit.

I'm facing life as a single mum.

The worst thing you could do
is cheat.

Who's that?

She's got trust issues.

'..to runaway children...'

NOEL: Look at this headline.

Oh, my god. Is that her?

'..the family face
pregnancy panics...'

The baby's heart rate has shot up.

My god.
SHE GASPS

'..and fame brings
trespasser trouble...'

When it's your house,
it's just not OK.

'..leading to
life-changing decisions.'

That is stunning!
Oh, we've bought a house.

ALL: Yeah!

'But whatever life throws at them,

'the Radfords are there
for family and friends...'

What's happened?
Cancer's back.

JAMIE: 'We'd travel
the ends of the Earth to save her.'

'..however big the problem.

'This week... when one
of the family hits rock bottom...'

SOPHIE: 'Usually,
people in their 20s,

'they're out partying and stuff,
aren't they?'

I had kids, and it all stopped.

'..the others rally to pull her
out of her rut.'

Do you fancy a party?
Whoo-whoo!

'When things backfire...'
So the bum needs to go that way.

I'm just not down for it.

With me, is no problem being naked.

'..they do more harm than good.'

I'm getting emotional,
and I just can't be arsed.

I had absolutely no idea
that it had gotten so bad.

'And for lazy josh andjames...'

An hour and 20 it's taken me
to get him up.

'..Noel dishes out
some tough love...'

The pair of you, get out
on your push bikes, doing odd jobs.'

'..only for the lads to rebel.'

So, do you reckon
we should tell Dad?

Er, nah, nah,
he doesn't have to know.

It could work out well for us both.

Mum, where's my other shoe?
I need to go out!

GIRL: Dad, clad, can I go on
your phone?

NOEL: You both can't go on it, no.

'For Noeland Sue,

'bringing up 22 kids
means constant problem solving.'

Hallie! I'm going to draw
a butterfly on it

so that you know
that these ones are yours.

Do you want to watch something
together?

BOTH: Yeah!
Will you do that?

Having 22 kids does feel like you're
spinning plates most of the time.

As one starts getting wobbly,

you have to pay
a bit of attention to,

then another one will start wobbling
like you've never seen before.

HE CRIES
Come on. Sit up.

Mine, I had it first!

Come on.

Ancl you're running round
just making sure none get smashed.

Look at that.

Now, then, you've got your own!

"Oh, that one's slowing down.
Give it a wiggle, and get it going."

Are you talking about our kids
or still talking about plates?

I'm just not sure any more.

Dad, I need some toilet roll!

'But for Noel and Sue,

'the plates are getting
more difficult to spin,

'the bigger they get.'

As the kids become adults, the
issues become far more complicated.

Falling off your bike
becomes a car crash.

Problems at school
can become losing your job.

'Friendship issues become
relationship issues.'

Yeah, with the older ones,
we're still flying blind, really.

We're still learning.

'Right now, the child Sue and Noel
are most worried about is Sophie.'

SOPHIE: '|'m turning 30 soon...
and I'm dreading it.

'Usually, people in their 20s,

'they're out partying and stuff,
aren't they?'

Well, my 20s were very different,
you know, I had three kids...

all within, like, a year
between 'em.

I did say, by 30,

I'd like to be married with kids
and have a house and stuff,

and I've got that...
but it's hard going,

it is definitely hard going.

It's a case of get up in t'morning,
get the kids ready,

work, home, tea, bath, bed.

It's the same routine every clay,
isn't it?

It's just so full-on all the time.

With me and Joe, we used to go
to cinemas, out for meals,

go out shopping,
do all sorts of things, yeah.

Had kids, and it all stopped.

SUE: Sophie is a very busy mum.

She does quite long hours at work.
She's up early in the morning.

Got three kids.
She's got three kids.

Ancl I sometimes feel a bit like
she's stuck in a rut.

Whereas, I used to be like fit
as a fiddle... into so much sports,

let myself go a little bit.

Like, I'm only tiny,
and I think I was like...

..11 stone there.

Now confidence
just completely got shattered.

'But losing weight hasn't helped
her mental state.'

I think, cos, obviously, I've seen
my mum and clad so happy,

I do feel like
I should be like that, as well.

However... it's not for everyone.

I'm not wanting to interfere,

but she seems to be
in a really bad place,

and I'm not sure
I can leave it any longer.

CHLOE: Have you seen Sophie
recently, Mum?

No, not really. Like, she just seems
a little bit...

a bit quiet and a bit distant
at the minute.

It's her 30th coming up, isn't it?

I think we should do her a party
or something.

Sophie loves a good party,
doesn't she? She does.

Come on, let's get her on FaceTime.

The women have decided

that Sophie's birthday
is a great excuse to reconnect.

SOPHIE: 'Bonjour.'
Hello! Hola!

Do you want to tell her?

So... you know
your big 30th is coming up?

'Yes.'
Do you fancy a party?

Whoa-whoa'.
Whoa'.!

'Er... No, I don't really fancy
doing owt, really.'

So... So, why do you not fancy it?

'I just... I just don't really
fancy celebrating owt, really.'

Well, we've got to do something,
it's your 30th.

So, could maybe do like
a... a girls' weekend or something?

That'd be good.

'I don't know. I'll have to have
a think about it.'

Nice girly weekend.
Mama's letting loose.

Come on, it'll be really good.

'I'll have a think about it.'

So, is that a yes, then?

'Go on, then.'
Oh, are you going to?

'Yeah, go on, then.'
Are you going to come?

'Yeah, I will.'
Woo-hoo!

Honestly, it's going to be
so much fun.

I feel like we've put the pressure
on Sophie to come away with us.

I feel like the pressure's now on us

to make sure that Sophie
enjoys herself.

'Coming up...

'The girls' trip away
could be a step too far...

'..and Noel's plan to get the lads
working doesn't hold up.'

Oh,josh!
LAUGHS: I lost grip! I lost grip!

What an idiot.

SALLY LINDSAY:
'Chloe is getting ready

'to go on a Radford girls'
weekend away.

'But one little girl can't go...'

Let's fit you in the bag. Come on.

'..Chloe's daughter, Mila.'

Since she's been born, 18 months,
I've never had a night away.

Will you miss your mummy?

No?
MILA CRIES

The only reason
that I'm leaving Mila

is because I think someone else
needs me - my sister, Sophie.

'Chloe and Sophie are
the two eldest daughters.

'Born less than two years apart,

'they shared a bedroom
for nine years...

'..and at Sophie's wedding,
Chloe was her bridesmaid.'

When Sophie got married,
it wasn't like the typical hen do's,

cos she was pregnant at the time.

Ancl I want to make up for it
with a proper girls' weekend away.

'At the airport, Chloe meets up
with mum Sue, sister Katie

'and the reluctant birthday girl,
Sophie.'

Celebrating my 30th,
no, I'm not a fan, at all.

I'd rather be celebrating my 21st.

I've realised I'm not as fit
as I used to be...

...and I don't look as good
as I used to.

I don't like my legs,
I don't like my belly,

don't like my arms.

I just don't like anything, at all.

It's like when Mila gets
a little bit upset or frustrated,

you've got to just do something
to distract her.

So hopefully, taking Sophie away
will do that.

I hope.

Flying doesn't bother me.

Oh, I hate it.

It's the safest way of travel,
you know.

Yeah, but it's the worst way to die.
LAUGHTER

'Oh, crikey.
I hope it's not a long flight.'

SUE: 'Sophie is the first
of my daughters to turn 30.'

And I remember thinking,
"Oh, my goodness,

"you really feel like
you're getting older."

That's why this trip
is so important.

I'm old. Yeah, but I don't want you
to say stuff like that,

cos, like, I'm 30 next year, so...

you need to make it into a positive.
There's nothing positive about it.

The way that Sophie's feeling
at the moment...

this trip away could be a bit of a
write-off with her feeling so down.

'Back home, Noel is meant
to be tidying up after breakfast.'

NOEL: Who's playing?
GIRL: I'm playing!

'But it seems
he has funnel led his mind.'

The game is whoever gets
the most items in the dishwasher...

is the winner.

Go!

I think Noel
might be playing mind games.

Wow. In the dish washer, yeah,
pop it in.

Oh, Bonnie's going for it.
One, two, three, four for Hallie.

So, to get the kids to help, I just
need to come up with a little plan,

get a little game going, and then
they'll all join in and help me.

He took loads.
Sneaky.

Still, it seems like a win-win.

Are you rinsing them off first,
or are you actually washing up?

Washing up.
That was clone really quick, guys.

How many did you get, Tittie?

Three.
100.

Heidie?
A million.

Seven million?
TILLIE: No!

I think we've got a clear winner
with Heidie. Who's the winner?

However, not all the kids
want to play ball.

Oh, brilliant, James is up.
ls josh about?

No, he's still asleep.

He won't get up.
Josh.

Come on.

I think the most bone-idle ones
would be...

well, I don't have to think, really.
It's Josh and James.

They could sleep for England.

Wow. I've never known anyone
so bone idle.

HE MUTTERS

Noel needs a hand
shifting some rubble,

but his workforce are work shy.

An hour and 20 it's taken me
to get him up.

Raring to go,josh.

Yeah, whatever.

Right, somebody grab that one.
Dad, what are in these?

Plaster.
50K dumbbells?

I'm skinny.

James is 20 and has been out
of work for six months.

Whilst josh is 16,
he's just finished school

and has no idea what to do next.

JOSH LAUGHS

Oh, Josh!
I lost grip. I lost grip!

What a BLEEP.

What an idiot.

The age that they are both at,

they need to be concentrating
on what job they want to do,

but neither of them seem
to be doing that.

They're just, like...

trudging through life at the moment,
you know.

Shovel some of that in t'bucket.

Why have you brought me this
if you want it in the bucket?

Why would you brush it
all the way over here?

Put the brush... I can't believe
I'm having to show you

how to use a dustpan and brush,
for god's sake.

When I wasjames' age,
I had two jobs.

So I'd go to work in a bakery
in the morning, five o'clock,

then I would deliver kitchens
all afternoon, into the evening,

sometimes, it'd be eight o'clock
at night, ten o'clock.

I do think they need
to get out there and find a job.

The longer they leave these things,

I think they'll end up getting stuck
in a rut and...

difficult to get out of then,
isn't it?

Noel's decided there's only
one way to get the boys working.

Where's James?
JOSH: On the bed.

In bed?

There's nothing
like a bit of competition

to get the kids motivated,
even the older ones.

So, I'm going to set you
a challenge, you two.

Are you listening?

The pair of you, get out on your
push bikes around Morecambe,

doing odd jobs, anything, right?

Ancl whoever earns the most,
I'll double it.

You'll double it? So, if you earn
50 quid, I'll double it.

OK.

They love beating each other
on computer games

and collecting virtual coins.

It's not that much of a leap
to collecting real coins, is it?

Is that a deal? Yeah.
That's a deal.

This really is too good
of a chance to miss.

I've just gotta earn the most,
so then mine can get doubled.

No. I'm gonna earn more.
Yeah, well, we'll see, buddy.

Yeah, we will.

The ladies have arrived
at their destination. Amsterdam.

Historic, cultural, and above all...

Oh, that's quite cute, innit?

SUE: It's really cute, that,
isn't it?

How cute.
CHLOE: Oh!

You can take the ladies
out of Morecambe...

Do you want some chips?

...but you can't take Morecambe
out of the ladies.

And one thing Amsterdam's
not short on is sauce.

Look at this shop next to me.

Amsterdam is like
a young person's party town.

So I'm hoping it will get Sophie
back to how she used to be.

She's always been
a really big personality,

you know, really outgoing.

But when you become a parent,

you can definitely lose touch
with yourself.

And so Chloe's arranged
a surprise activity

that she hopes will remind Sophie
of her younger self.

Me and Sophie used to do silly
dances when we were younger.

So I'm hoping that she gets
right into this.

Hi.
Hello.

Hi, my name'sjunella, I will give
you a burlesque workshop today.

Did you guys know that?

KATIE: No.
SUE: No.

Burlesque dancing.
It's like a sexy dance, isn't it?

Ancl I don't feel very sexy.

So, I have, like, feathers in
here for you guys.

One for you.
Thank you.

I'm hoping trying something new
will help her feel

a little bit better and, you know,
work on her confidence a little bit.

SOPHIE: just the jackets.
THEY LAUGH

It's just not something I'd ever do.

Yeah.

It's, like, shake your bum-bum.

SOPHIE: I haven't got a bum-bum.

THEY LAUGH

So, the bum needs to go that way.

I'm gonna split
my jeans doing that.

THEY LAUGH

If she can do this, I reckon she'll
feel much better about herself.

Make it look sexy, guys.
You guys are sexy.

In Morecambe, it's less burlesque
and more Bur-ley.

josh andjames
are going head to head

in a money-making competition.

Hiya.
Do you need any odd jobs doing?

James' first job
will be to clean Zoe.

It should just be pretty simple,

but this car
is absolutely covered in bird crap.

I think I'm doing it right, anyway.

MAN: How do you think josh
is getting on?

I don't think josh will have a job.

I reckon Josh is probably
sitting at home doing nothing.

But that's where you're wrong,
James.

I can't say I have ever
cleaned windows before,

but this is probably
just common sense, to be honest.

Well, that's not a problem, then.

You would think you could just clean
windows with, like, a tea towel,

but apparently, you've got to use
all of these different tools.

This, maybe?
Tools, hey?

I don't even know what this is for.

James' car wash stands
to make him £10.

I expect this to take maybe
20-30 minutes at most.

josh is hoping to make the same.

What? We've run into a problem.

This is definitely gonna
break a window.

One of the things I'm hoping
that the boys get from this

is the satisfaction
of a job well done.

HE LAUGHS

It actually does. Come here.
It actually looks worse.

Hopefully,
James is having more success.

Hi. It's all clone. Would you like
to come and have a look?

Yeah, yeah. That's cracking that,
mate, thank you very much.

Thank you for giving me the job.

But as the days go by,

they are having to turn down
as many jobs as they accept.

MAN: Any chance you could do
those top windows as well?

I can't do upstairs, sorry, mate,

cos I've got no-one
to hold the ladders.

Yeah. jobs that are
too big to tackle alone.

Oh, wow. There's a lot of them.

WOMAN: How about a few of those?

Oh, er...

DOGS BARK
Quiet!

I'm not sure if I can do that
on my own.

This lost income
has given James an idea.

josh, do you not think if we did
bigger jobs, it'd pay a lot more?

I could hold ladders
or do the window cleaning,

you hold ladders.

It would be better
if it was me and you.

Yeah. Yeah, I mean,
it could be a lot better.

Rather than compete against
each other,

the lads are planning
a sneaky merger.

So, do you reckon we should tell Dad
that we'll work together, or...?

No. No, he doesn't have to know.

We don't... We don't have
to tell him anything.

No?
No.

Are we just gonna scam Dad?

No. We're just gonna...
bend the rules a little bit.

Back in Amsterdam...

the ladies burlesque dance lesson
is in full swing.

INSTRUCTOR: Five, six,
five, six, seven and eight!

# Born to sing, sing
Born to sing

# Born to sing, sing

# Let's sing
Let's sing, sing... #

THEY LAUGH

Woohoo! Whoo!

# My daddy used to tell me
Tell me... #

I don't wanna do that bit.

# I can do almost anything... #

Oh, my God, I'm clone with this.

# Girl, go, 90, 9°--- #

INSTRUCTOR: Hey!
Have we finished?

SUE: I feel like you've gotta
be able to shake your booty.

Come on, Sophie.

just, you know, let yourself go.

I'm just not down for it.

Hey?

I'm ready to end this,
if I'm honest.

It's just a bit weird,

and I don't feel comfortable
in doing it.

I thought it's just a bit of fun.
You know, it's something different.

Erm, so, yeah, I think
I was just a bit taken aback

cos I didn't really realise

how bad she was actually feeling
about herself.

Sometimes you stay
in your little bubble, don't you,

and what you're comfortable with?
I quite like my little bubble.

Ancl so if you get out
of your comfort zone,

sometimes you'll go, "Oh,
I actually really enjoyed that."

Mm. I just feel a bit stupid.

As a parent, you never really know
what you're doing.

You just have to try.

You know, you just have to go
with it and just never give up.

THEY LAUGH

Chloe thinks that a mask
might help Sophie's confidence.

I'd have preferred a bin-bag
over my head

cos you can't see my face then.

INSTRUCTOR: And you're gonna go...
one, two, three.

Da, da...

For the sake of her family...
Sophie gives it one more go.

There you go.

Da-da! Yeah, shake it, shake it,
shake it, shake it, shake it.

Yeah, whoo!
Yes, you're gonna do it like that.

Right, I'm gonna step out.
All right, then.

We're gonna carry on.
I think Chloe's loving life.

SHE TRILLS HER LIPS

I'm just not down for it.
I just don't like it.

Not comfortable.
I don't want to do it.

I would rather have just not come,
to be honest. Mm.

Sophie's birthday treat
has become an ordeal.

Maybe we don't spend enough time
together,

or we don't communicate
how we're feeling a lot,

cos I had absolutely no idea
that it had gotten so bad.

Right, I'm gonna stop
because I'm getting a bit emotional,

and I just can't be arsed with it.

SHE SNIFFLES
I just don't wanna do it.

Coming up, James and josh's scam
gets rumbled...

This sounds like
they're trying to stitch me up,

and they're gonna cost me money.
Wait till I see ‘em.

...and the ladies receive
an indecent proposal.

How are we doing?

My name is Marco. With me,
it's no problem being naked.

This is just gonna push Sophie
over the edge.

"Do you need an odd job doing?
We'll do anything for cash.

"josh and James, the odd job men."

SALLY LINDSAY: James and josh
are meant to be competing

to see who can earn the most...

So, we're actually,
like, proper serious on this?

Oh, our own little business.
We're a duo.

...but they've decided
to combine forces

in the hope of making more money.

Let's go.

I'll go to the right,
you go to the left. OK.

They are thinking big
with a relaunch and publicity push.

just gotta get the word out there,

and then people
will just come calling.

Yeah, absolutely.

Look at that! Oh, yes.

We're gonna need much more tape
than this, boy.

Working together,
we can do the bigger two-man jobs.

More pay for us both.

Boom!

This is actually pretty heavy.

And working together is even making
the smaller jobs more profitable.

We can do this like ten times
quicker now that there's two of us.

Spick and span, boy.
Spick and span.

So we're doing six windows.

Yeah, but you're going
a bit slow here.

Wow, I'm really sorry, boss.

Here you go.
Thank you.

Working together
is paying dividends.

Good job. Thanks very much.

Thank you.
Thank you for that.

The only problem is, it's breaking
the rules of Noel's challenge.

What's this?
"josh and James, the odd job men.

"Do you need an odd job doing?
Then we're the guys.

"Anything for cash.
No job too small."

HE LAUGHS

This sounds like
they're trying to stitch me up,

and they're gonna cost me money.
Wait till I see ‘em.

SOPHIE: Cold and wet.

It's the last day in Amsterdam

for Sue
and three of her older daughters.

The trip's not going to plan.

SUE: It's an hour
till that one goes.

Well, let's go to that one

cos everybody seems to be
getting on that.

They've come to mark
Sophie's 30th birthday,

but Chloe's idea of a dance lesson
has bombed.

I thought the burlesque was
a good idea, but it's backfired.

I thought it would give her
a bit of confidence,

but it's done the opposite.

And there is a little bit
of an atmosphere now.

Since becoming parents,

we just do things
very differently now,

and I would say
the whole dancing thing

just goes to show that she doesn't
really know me any more,

and we've definitely drifted apart.

She's going back
to when we was younger,

and I'm not like that any more.

So, Chloe's decided to play it safe
with today's activity.

I feel like I need to redeem myself

and book something that
I don't think anyone can object to.

I think they might even find it
a little bit boring.

So, welcome.
Come with us.

SUE:
Chloe, what have you booked us on?

Thank you!
SOPHIE: Oh, wow!

Nice!
Take a seat.

So, welcome to this workshop today.

I'm jofval, you can call me joovi.

What we're first gonna do
is make a small model... of hands.

Try to cut it out.

After you cut it out,

you just try to focus
on what you see on the hand,

for instance, like,
you can focus on the thumb,

you focus on the nail,
how to shape the nail.

That looks good.

So, when I was younger, we used
to do a lot of arts and crafts.

When it was,
like, birthdays and stuff,

I'd always ask for,
like, arts and crafts stuff.

But like so many other things,

they just sort of get left
in the past as you grow older.

Chloe is using her artistic
endeavours to make a statement.

CHLOE: This here is my hand.

Now you may notice on this finger,

on the ring finger,
there is actually a ring.

But if you notice on my actual hand,
there is not.

THEY LAUGH

So I'm gonna take a picture
and send it to Jake and see...

see if he takes the hint.
THEY LAUGH

Oh, I'm getting a bit creative
here now. Look.

Ooh!
You've got a good eye for detail.

I do.
Yeah.

Maybe you can be
a fine artist yourself.

Yeah, Sophie's upset with me.

I feel like, at the moment,

this whole trip's been
a waste of time.

Having got to grips
with the basics,

joovi thinks the ladies
are ready to progress.

But in Amsterdam,
things are not always as they seem.

Someone will come in,

and we're gonna have
a naked... workshop.

Ancl he will stand in front of us.

You're gonna try
to sculpt the model naked.

She is?
He is.

Right, 0|<.
What?!

I had no idea
this was a life modelling class.

When they said naked,

I thought this is just gonna
push Sophie over the edge.

How are we doing? My name is Marco.

I'm gonna be your model today, so...

For now, I'm gonna begin like this,
or do you want fully-fully?

THEY LAUGH
I'm sorry, what?

TH EY LAUG H
Fully-fully.

Nope.

I'll definitely be up for a divorce,
I can assure you.

I'm sorry.

It seems the unexpected Marco
has broken a tense atmosphere.

Oh, my God! Do you do this daily?

Yeah, so, with me,
it's not problem being naked,

but of course,
whatever makes you comfortable.

THEY LAUGH

I'll get a slapped bum for this one.

Mum wants a little sneak peak.

So, can we have a hands up,
who wants underwear?

No-one? All right?
So I'm going to be like this, OK?

THEY LAUGH

Whether it's nerves
or just the bizarre situation,

all the ladies have got the giggles.

Mum's like, "What on earth
have I come here for?"

I think that's really done Sophie
the world of good,

seeing her laughing and joking like
that has been really, really good.

THEY LAUGH

I might put the Play-Doh down.
THEY LAUGH

The ladies have decided
that Marco can keep his fully-fully

to his selfie-selfie.

Thank you for taking the time out.

No worries, ladies.
I'm gonna give you a fist bump.

Yes.
All right, nice to meet you.

Thank you.
Thank you. Ciao, ciao.

ALL: Thank you!
Bye.

Bye-bye, Marco.
THEY LAUGH

Well, isn't this immature?

Oh, do you know, I can't remember
the last time I laughed like that.

That was absolutely comical.

I've not laughed like that
in a long time.

THEY LAUGH

That is fantastic!

Ready, steady, go!

'With the ladies due home tomorrow,

'Noel's tidy up game
is helping get the house immaculate.

Another simple task -

get all the toys in the toy box
as fast as they can.

just turns it into
a bit of fun and a game,

so, yeah, it's going well.

Are we clone? Stop!
One minute and four seconds.

So, you've saved me so much time.

Thank you very much for your help.
HE CHUCKLES

Aww, it's raining.

'As forjames and josh,
cold hard cash

'is driving their final push
for maximum profit.

'Now they're working together,

'they can do the jobs
they had to turn down before.'

Hiya. We're here to walk your clogs.

Come on in, then.
You better come and meet them first.

When we walked in,

they were just constantly barking,
weren't they? Yeah.

It's worse than the kids
crying in here.

If you sit down,

make friends with the one
who come and talk to you.

She likes to be cuddled.

Hello!
This one's cute.

Have you come prepared
to walk my dogs?

Absolutely.
Absolutely.

What have you got in your pocket?

'Blimey, it's like stop and search,
this.'

Number one rule
is a pocket full of poo bags.

'Shouldn't that be
the number two rule?'

Here you are. Poo bags.

Most important.

'But the rules don't stop there,

'especially as these
are pedigree show dogs.'

Prefer you not to take them
too far for the first time. Yeah.

And definitely no letting them
off the lead. I'll try not to.

'Oh, hang on, I'd wear that.'

Hands always through the loop,

and show dogs are always walked
on the left.

And we're walking the oldies
in the pushchair.

Pixie, won't that be nice?

Here's the pram.
Who's pushing the pram?

Er...

You know when Dad said
we should be more like him,

Dad was pushing a pram at my age,
weren't he?

Except I was pushing a pram
with clogs.

HE CHUCKLES

I don't mind this.
This is actually, like, quite fun.

I mean, all the clogs are cute, so...

Ancl I think it's a good little thing
to be getting yourself into.

Hello, you little wet things.

Any poos?
No. No, actually. Good girls!

There you go. Thank you very much.

Thank you for taking them.
Thank you.

And hope to see you soon...
Yeah. Yeah, of course.

...with some of your dad's pies.

'The time has come
for the money to be counted

'and for Noel to pay up.'

Dad's promised to double the money
for whoever earns the most,

and we're not gonna make it easy
for him.

No. Not one bit.

Ooh, this looks promising.
What's all this?

Somebody's been earning.
Yeah.

We've earned 80 quid each.

Eighty quid each?
Yeah. Yeah.

Each?!
Yeah, each . Really?

So, the plan is
to split the money equally

so me and Josh
are both joint winners.

That way, Dad will have to double
both of the moneys as well. Mm-hm.

I've got £80, he's got £80.
Really?

I'm... I'm thinking

somebody's trying to pull the wool
over my eyes because... Why?

When I was taking Lola
out for a walk,

look what I stumbled across here.

BOYS LAUGH

josh ANDjames, not josh orjames.

It seems like
our marketing efforts

were a bit too good
for our own sake.

We basically worked together,

so then we can do bigger jobs
so we get more money from them.

Good thinking. Yeah,
I'm pleased with the lads, you know.

I don't care that they tried
to pull a fast one on me.

But what I really want to know is,

have they found something
that they really want to do?

So, I've learnt the value of, like,
having a bit of money around,

but obviously, we can't be
sponging around forever. No.

I think what you need to do, right,
you two,

find a job that you
really fancy doing.

It'll make your work life
so much easier and better. Mm.

Something will be out there for you.

Yeah. 'I found baking.
That was my career.'

But I don't want to have to pick
a career for the lads.

It's got to come from them.

'It's the last night of the ladies'
eventful Amsterdam trip.'

Sophie didn't want to come
to begin with.

It's been a bit tense at times,

and we all deserve a drink
to celebrate.

'Chloe's arranged
a cocktail making masterclass,

'where they'll get to judge
their own handy work.'

What do you want to make?
How about some watermelon?

Do you shake one?
Don't be shy.

Yeah, put it in.
Is that right?

Go on, Sophie, shake it!
Whoo! Is that good?

Are you happy? I'm happy.

Getting out of Morecambe
has been really, really refreshing,

and... I just feel really relaxed.

Would you like me to try it for you?

It's been a long time
since I've had a laugh like this.

I've been able to smile again
and be happy again

and just turn that corner
that I needed to turn.

'The trip has ended up a success.'
SOPHIE CHEERS

'But it wasn't about the destination
or the activities -

'but simply the company.'

Chloe, when was the last time
we did anything like this, like,

just spent time together, and...?

Probably years ago, you know, years.
Mm.

Became a mum, and we don't do it
any more really, do we? No.

So, what have you been feeling,
then?

just feeling a bit low, you know,
same routine clay in clay out.

just feeling, like,
really crappy in myself. Mm.

No confidence whatsoever,

and I didn't want to tell you
because you're always like,

"Well, you're perfect as you are."
LAUGHTER

We don't always know what's...
What's going on.

...how someone's actually feeling
and what's going on, but...

you know, when life
is just so repetitive... Mm.

...you need to just try and...

break it up
and do summat different, don't you?

Yeah, definitely.
When you get in them kinds of ruts.

Yeah, definitely.

All the family, all my siblings,

always play a huge part
in making me feel better.

So when it comes to
just talking to them,

I always feel so much better.

Ain't it weird that we used to fight
all the time when we were younger

and then one clay, we woke up
and we were just friends?

Let's not fight any more, yeah.
Let's be friends.

Actually, I don't...
I quite like you. Yeah.

"You're not that annoying, actually,
Chloe."

SOPHIE LAUGHS
Aww, thanks. Aww.

'Reconnecting with her family
has lifted Sophie's spirits.

'The only question is

'whether the feeling will last
when she returns home.'

'Coming up...'

All right, hold on.

'For josh andjames, it's a case
of 22 lambs and counting.'

You've just delivered
your first child. Yes.

'And a mysterious Radford gathering
surprises the whole family.'

This looks like a party to me,
but I don't know what for.

SALLY LINDSAY: 'There's an age
when you just know

'what you want to be
when you grow up.'

I want to be
a professional footballer.

I want to work with precious rocks.

I want to be a YouTuber.
I also want to be a YouTuber.

I want to be a gymnast.
SHE CRIES

'But when you do grow up,
it's less clear.

'Noel's managed to getjames and
josh thinking seriously about jobs,

'andjames thinks he's found one
for them both.'

I've got a job
that I might be interested in.

It will be good.

You'll find it fun, I think,
hopefully.

Right boys, come on. Let's go.

'James thinks farming
could be their future,

'and he's arranged to visit
a local farm.'

I think I just like animals.
I love 'em.

I love how they all work
and all that.

You love how animals work?
Yeah.

'josh is very sceptical,

'but his brother's convinced him
to go along for the experience.'

I don't even like animals,
to be honest.

What, are you frightened of 'em?
No.

It's either they stink
or that they're proper ugly.

I don't know, I just don't, like,

really see
the full point in a farm.

Like, what's the need of having one?

So, when you're having
your Sunday dinner,

where do you think it's come from?

The wildlife.

They'll probably look at us
and think,

"These are dumb and dumber.
We can't trust these."

'At this farm
just outside Morecambe,

'Alan Archer
is in the midst of lambing season.'

We've got a sheep
that's about to start lambing,

so you're gonna need
these pair of wellies. Thank you.

So, if you get them on
and roll your sleeves up,

you're gonna lamb a sleep.

OK. Sounds like fun, yeah.
All right? All right.

'The boys don't seem phased at all.
I wonder why.'

What is lambing, exactly?

The sheep's about to give birth.
Oh.

We literally only just got there,

and he said that we're gonna
help a sheep give birth.

Er, no, not a chance.
What about me?! Not a chance.

'Ey, well, you apparently
like this type of stuff,

so you can... so you can...

Not straight away!
..you can go and do it.

just put that on your right arm
if you're right handed.

Put your hand in there.
Bloody hell.

Go on. Have a go.
ALAN LAUGHS

LAUGHTER

Er...
No? I'm not sure.

Do you want to? It's just there.
It's a bit gruesome for my taste.

I found when the kids are with you,

they can sometimes
act as little kids

because that's what
they've always clone.

All you need to do now
is grab hold of them legs there.

Go on. Grab hold of 'em.

Put your finger between it,
between them,

and just pull gently on both legs.

You just hope
that when they're with other adults,

they act their age
and not their shoe size.

Gently pull. That's it -
you can see its nose coming out.

That's it. Right.

You've just delivered
your first child. Yes!

Well done.
Thank you.

'I think it was a pretty
special thing, lambing that sheep.'

It was gruesome and all,
but it was quite nice.

Am I able to name one?
Yeah.

JJ-
CHUCKLING:JJ.

Boom. James and josh.
Yeah? I like that.

All right, hold on.

‘But there's one job josh and James
could never hope to do.‘

josh, I'll let Tan out,
and you'll just say "away".

Yeah.
All right? All right.

'Meet Tan, the fastest sheepdog
in the north west.'

Give her the command.
Tan, away!

Fast.
She actually is pretty fast.

I did love Tan, to be fair.

It is pretty cool
to work with the dog, though, like.

'For Noel, it's an anxious wait.'

I hope it's gone well.

I just hope it gives them
the fire that they need

to find something they want to do.

Hi there, Father.
'Ey-up. Hello.

How was that, then?
That was really good.

Was it good? Yeah.
What have you been doing?

Er, I did some lambing. Er...

As in...? Lambing, what do you mean?
Giving birth.

NOEL LAUGHS

When they were telling me
what had happened on the farm

with the lambing and everything
like that, I was amazed.

Would you work on a farm, James?
I would actually enjoy it.

I like jobs where you've got
to be, like hands on, you know.

Is it your thing?
Yeah.

I actually wouldn't mind
doing a bit of farming

cos today was actually pretty fun.

It sounds like you've had
a good clay after all, so well clone.

I'm proud of you,
but you need to wash your hands.

Well, actually, no,
I did use a glove, so it's fine.

Did you?
Yeah.

It wasn't too bad.
Oh, clear.

'It's great
to see their enthusiasm.'

I think my sort of plan to get them
out there and doing something...

And, yeah, I think it has got them
out of their rut.

'In Morecambe, the whole family's
been asked to meet at the pub.

'No-one appears to know
what's going on,

'and those that might know
are being very tight-lipped.'

Why are we even here?

This looks like a party to me,
but I don't know what for.

Oh, there's two more.

'Most families just need a table,

'but Noel and Sue's brood have
taken up half the ground floor.'

Probably gonna guess, like,

there's an announcement
of something. I don't know.

'There's three generations
of Radfords in the room,

'but there's one face missing.'

Surprise!
SUE CHEERS

Let's party!
SOPHIE CHUCKLES

'Sophie's gone from not wanting
to mark her birthday at all

'to arranging her own
surprise birthday party,

'where the surprise
is for the guests.'

Happy birthday, Sophie!

I mean, have you ever heard

of someone arranging
their own surprise party?

Mine!
SOPHIE LAUGHS

Only Sophie could be that nuts.

EXCLAMATWNS

That flipping hit me in the head.
Ow!

For once,
it was not a baby announcement.

There's a first for everything,
guys, and cheers to that.

It's amazing seeing Sophie
with a smile on her face again.

It's took a lot for me
to accept that I'm becoming 30,

but I'm happy... I'm happy now.

I feel really good, really positive.

Having all my family around today...

...it really means the world to me.

GLASS CUNKS

I just want to say
thank you to everyone

for coming
to celebrate my 30th birthday.

It's very important
that you're all here,

so I'm very grateful. Thank you.

ALL: Happy birthday, Sophie!

Thank you!
SOPHIE LAUGHS

Thank you.
Aww.

I just want to say thank you,

and I know I don't often talk to you
about this sort of stuff

because you've got so much going on.

You know, Sophie,
I'm always your mum,

and no matter what
you've got going on,

and you can always come to me.

I know.
Don't ever bottle it up.

It's not hard, is it?

No-one has parenting
down to a fine art

because all the kids are different.

'They'll all face different things
at different points in their life.'

'Even with 22 kids,

'each one of them
needs different help from us.'

All you can do is keep an eye
on them and embrace the madness

and just not give up.

'And even Noel and Sue will need
a bit of help from time to time.'

I've been feeling like this over 30.

How do you feel about being 50?
I'm not talking about it.

'Next time...'

"I need a copy
of your UK driving licence." BLEEP.

'..Daniel's move to Australia
is threatened...'

NOEL: Daniel is afraid of driving.
Wow.

'..because of
a life-changing event.'

I couldn't get the seat belt off.

Definitely the scariest thing
that I've been through.

'And who's tough enough
and muddy enough

'to take on Ellie's challenge?'

Tough Mudder
makes grown men and women cry.

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