Original subtitles

Wine? Yes please.

That stuff at dinner was an insult to grapes everywhere.

Always is.

Come on. We'll pay homage to Dionysus.

Oh yes.

That's what I'm here for.

Where's Rick?

Oh um, off camping with the dog, beating his drum

or whatever men do out there.

All right this is my go-to for the quick fix.

Hmm. Hit me up.

Wait, wait, wait. You lush.

I got a toast!

To us.

And continued success. To us.

Goedenavond!

Goedenavond!

Amelia.

Op onze vriend!

You know, I meant to tell you.

I love your dress.

Yeah. Yeah.

It's cute! Smart.

Thanks, Dana.

I wish I had your of your curves, though.

Oh and that...

That that smoky eye thing you got going on.

It's-it's dark and mysterious.

You know, what man could resist?

Or maybe it's the light in here.

Yeah or the wine maybe?

Come on, Lucy.

You're gorgeous and you know it.

If I didn't know any better,

I'd think you were hitting on me.

I did kiss a girlfriend at a party in college once.

Did I ever tell you that story?

Uh. No. No!

You did not. And?

Well... let's just say we were pretty drunk.

'Til of course, my big stepped in.

Oh whoops! Oh yeah.

That was pretty much the end of my sorority career.

A little too much sisterhood, I guess.

It was for the best.

Um...

How about you? Oh. Me?

No, no, no.

I never.

What? You, like never went to a sleepover in high school?

Not a Catholic high school sleepover, obviously.

So you never, like, practiced?

With a friend, like, when you were 13?

No...

I-I have to admit you um, you do have me a little

intrigued.

Oh-ho! Okay. Quaker.

You know, I can't believe that I'm

doing this with a grown woman. But...

I... will be that girl that time.

What? You mean kiss? Yes.

You trust me, don't you?

How. How was that?

Uh nice.

Very nice. Uh-hum...

I think you were kind of into it.

Oh God, no! No.

There was a...

There was a moment there where I forgot...

about what we were doing, But um... no.

How do you not have a man?

You're a really good kisser.

Oh I'm afraid it takes a little more than that.

You know, I'm gonna get another drink.

I think I should cut you off.

Unh-uh too late.

Now it's a Catholic sleepover.

Hide the fruit bowl. Oh no!

Wait, wait, wait, wait!

Wait, do you hear that? Dog?

Yeah out back.

It sounds like Ripples.

Wait, Rick is here?

He's supposed to be camping.

Well so he said, but...

But we were just... oh shit!

It is Ripples.

Hi boy.

Hi...

You scared us, huh?

Were you playing a silly little trick on us? Hmm?

Hey, where's Daddy?

Where's Rick?

He was tied up back here.

Hey, Rick, are you out here, honey?

Stop messing around.

This isn't funny.

Dana's here.

We were just...

Decompressing.

What's with the birdbath? Oh I don't know.

Rick has an odd sense of humor sometimes.

Hey. Hey, Rick.

This isn't funny.

Honey, it's late.

Why would he be back here?

Maybe Rick let him out and he's unloading. What? Tied up?

No, it's...

It's some silly game.

I'll find him.

He's not here.

He left?

Oh that's not good.

No, it's not.

Although,

you know, why wouldn't

he just pull into the garage like he normally does?

I mean, why did he come home at all?

Yeah well, I did hear thunder.

Maybe he thought like it was going to storm?

Okay, then why not let us know he was here?

Maybe because he saw his wife soul kissing another woman!

We were just goofing around. Right?

I might not have looked like that if his timing was right.

Lucy!

I'm so sorry.

Don't beat yourself up.

We might as well wait for him to calm down.

It can't get any worse.

And what if he doesn't come back?

Well, then we call the police.

I tell you, something isn't right about this,

Well, that's a good omen.

A shooting star.

Good.

I could use a wish right now,

What the hell?

Ripples?

Hello.

Ah. An Amish farm, like the shepherd's grounds of Provence

site of the Miracle.

Indeed Louis. Time passes very slowly here.

Perhaps they just possess uncommon patience in

planning their revenge.

It is their virtue, Ambrose. A recipe for betrayal.

Oh sod it, Bierce!

You've been criticizing me since you got here.

I don't recall any complaint when we rescued you

from that firing squad.

And where did these Dutch find you Hudson?

Uh... rowing a boat to China by way of Winnipeg, Manitoba.

How you ever suffered a mutiny? I'll never know. Allez vous.

Well It happened!

Messieurs! Please.

We are observing le moment de notre deliverance, no?

Yes! I mean no. I mean...

Dammit LePrince!

I never know if I'm agreeing or disagreeing with you.

Well if only your French was better.

Oh then what?

I could use crepes and jour des dupes in a sentence

whilst surrendering?

No, thank you.

Very funny.

And if the British ever need a canal to get to China,

I'm sure you will steal it from the French.

Touche.

I have no idea what he's talking about.

I'm just glad we escaped that damned lightning.

I think all we've proven is that it provides

better light than a horse.

It was a trifle hair-raising, but we had to snap him up

before it did its nasty business.

We're lucky we found him in time.

We'll see.

I know a rabbit's foot brings no luck to rabbit.

Can I help you?

Hey, my name is Rick Periwinkle.

I'm Jacob Hill.

I was hoping to find a phone,

but I guess today is my unlucky day.

You see, I was camping down by the lake and all of my things,

my dog, my car...

Pretty much everything is missing.

Oh my. Well, are you hurt?

No.

I guess I must have been asleep when all this happened.

I'll be!

Well you're looking to call the police, then, I guess?

You know, it takes them a while to get up here.

Yeah, I have this thing,

but the darn thing won't get any reception.

Can you tell me where the nearest phone is?

Well I reckon you can use mine under the circumstances.

Wait a minute, here...

You're Amish, and this is a phone?

Yeah, last time I checked.

Most folks don't realize we carry'em, but you know,

you can't hardly run a business without one.

The apps at the bottom there.

App? Where did you get this?

Qualmart.

You know, like I says, most of us has got them

that works outside of the community.

That's odd, I...

I've never seen a phone like this before.

It's sort of advanced.

Oh you know, it's fairly new.

No, I mean, like, really advanced.

Like it's from the future or something.

Well you know, they's free if you sign up for the service,

You know...

you kind of look like you're due for an upgrade.

'Gotta come into the 21st century some time,

Isn't that what they say?

Wait...

What did you say?

Hey, I didn't mean to insult you.

I was just kidding.

No, no.

You said

the 21st century?

Yeah.

What century did you think it was?

It was the 20th century.

Yeah, it was.

Is?

I'm afraid you're about 20 odd years off.

20 years?

You in some kind of trouble I need to know about, mister.

I don't know how I got here.

Well, that's what I'm wondering.

Maybe... you wandered away from wherever you was being-uh-kept?

No, I mean, I know that I'm here right now.

I just don't know how I got into the 21st century.

Well time gets away from ya.

I don't mean to freak you out,

um, but do you?

Your people, I mean...

have any concept of time travel?

Well, thereis the story of Jutzi Coblentz.

Who?

Oh Jutzi Coblentz.

Yeah it's an old tale about a fella who gets kicked in the

head by a horse and wakes up thinking he's in the future.

Wait a minute, mister.

Maybe you took a bump on the noggin.

I guess I could have. Sure.

Yeah! That'd explain why you're so confused.

Hey you better sit down.

Jacob! Who is it?

Was it just the fellow who wandered up from the road.

His phone don't work up here.

Is Caleb out there?

I haven't seen him.

Could you look for him?

I need my eggs.

Yes'm.

I'd best do what she says.

You still want to call the police?

Or um...

your wife maybe?

That's a good idea.

Uh...

Just... tap?

Right.

So why don't we just interrogate him?

Do you remember when I introduced myself to you?

Yes. I laughed.

You'd discovered Chihuahua.

I was Henry Hudson. A ghost as far as you were concerned.

If so, then how do you explain our clothes?

Did our textiles pass along with us?

The point is, I was dead.

Or so you thought.

And he might think so as well.

Or he's dreaming or insane.

I did consider those possibilities myself.

But isn't the plan to glean whatever information we can

from Periwinkle and loop him back?

His loop is not complete, monsieur.

What do you mean, his loop is incomplete?

There is a paradox vous voyez.

Is that that which reversing through time,

led by one of history's most notoriously poor navigators?

Now!

Asses are meant to bear, and so are you, my friend.

Until Periwinkle reveals his secret,

thus justifying our actions in bringing him here,

He is trapped in this time.

Once he does, we can complete his loop

and return him to fulfill his destiny.

However, we can't just have him wandering about either.

If he leaves this isolated community,

he could seriously alter the past.

It is not in our stars to hold our destiny,

but in our selves, correct?

Oh you're more cultured than I imagined Bierce.

But the beauty of this destiny

is that no one from his time will ever know he was missing.

And no one can change the outcome.

You can't reason with lightning.

Spooky action at a distance, monsieur.

Spooky? Oui.

Who thought of this?

Madame Earhart.

Actually, a Jewish scientist from her time.

It's cosmic entanglement or some folderol...

And you believe it?

Frankly, I don't care.

I'm just tired of jumping

through wormholes to keep from aging.

With this, we can all complete our loops and go home again.

Or form a more vicious circle

than the ring currently around our necks.

Just how do you plan to keep him here?

Ah! The “tender trap” Monsieur.

Amelia? En effet.

And... if I know the Amish,

I think I might just have the piece de resistance.

Very good, capitaine! Vous parlez francais.

Hope is desire and expectation rolled into one, is it?

Oh look at the bright side:

if we fail, we aren't any worse off.

I don't have a bright side.

Sorry, ma'am. We got here as soon as we could.

Yes. No, of course. Come in.

Oh this is my friend Dana Shepherd.

She's been here with me.

I will go warm up some coffee. Yeah.

Well, let me see if we have this straight.

You actually reported your husband missing

because your dog returned unexpectedly?

Well, yes.

It sounds odd

when you put it that way, but no, we found the dog

tied up to a chair right out back here.

No sign of my husband.

What time was this?

Uh last night, um, around 11:30?

Where was your husband supposed to be?

Camping. He often goes without me.

So it's possible he goes camping and leaves the dog here

and doesn't tell you?

I think he'd call or leave a note at least.

Maybe somebody else found the dog and returned it.

Again. No notes, no call. I mean, they have to know us.

I can't imagine Rick not being in a panic about it.

Y... also, we found the top of the birdbath in front of the dog.

Now, that is weird.

Oh you'd be surprised.

Had a woman attack her husband with a lawn gnome one time

just because it was handy.

'Caught him with another woman.

So, uh, ladies...

What were you doing when you first became aware of the dog?

Um...

Talking. Drinking.

Oh the wine was terrible! M-hmm. Just awful.

So we uh, came here. M-hm.

You lost me.

Oh-oh we had just come from a work event.

Yeah. Lucy was awarded Sales Rep of the year.

Congratulations.

What kind of sales you in?

Uh real estate.

Oh yeah...

I think I've seen your pictures on signs

now that you mention it.

Uh-huh, yeah. Um, well, I had invited Dana over

for a glass of wine, and we got to chatting.

You know um... Girl talk and whatnot.

Were you playing music?

Um, what? What do you mean?

Like the radio or something that would have distracted you

from hearing somebody bring the dog back?

Uh-um...

I'm not sure what you're implying?

I'm... not sure what I'm implying either.

You know, nobody here got much sleep.

No, no, we were just, you know...

um, like blah, blah, blah! Weren't we, Dana?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Sorry.

I think I'll take a look around outside.

So ladies, won't you show me exactly where you were

when you first noticed the dog?

Um...

Well, yeah. I was...

uh... about um...

Here. And Lucy, you were what?

About... there?

And the dog was about there?

But you didn't see anyone?

No, I guess we were in our own world.

Oblivious.

It must've happened just right under our noses.

So conceivably,

the dog could have been out there the entire time,

but you were just a little

too much into your own world to have noticed?

Uh, yes. Yes, I guess that's... That's possible.

I don't see anything out there. We should call this into IPS.

Okay uh.

I think we have enough for now.

Um Mrs. Periwinkle, we're going to keep this case open.

You let us know if anything else out of the ordinary happens.

And we'll just let ourselves out the back.

All right.

Thank you, officers. Thank you.

They're no help.

We're gonna go have to find him ourselves.

Uh no, not in this getup.

Something's not right with those two.

Yeah.

So what's this important police shit?

Dispatch wants us to keep an eye

on the place until we're relieved.

Apparently, this Periwinkle is some sort of big shot.

Sorry to bring you boys in here

on such short notice, but we have a situation.

This slide depicts the enzyme 5-lipoxygenase,

which biotechnologists have been developing in secrecy

with the National Aeronautics and Space Administration.

The purpose of this enzyme is to counter

the effects of microgravity,

which appears to cause an acceleration of aging

when astronauts are in space.

A private lab

in upstate New York

has been working on a classified super version

of 5-L by combining it with restrictive enzymes

to isolate the specific aging DNA strands.

The head of the research team is this man,

Richard Periwinkle,

who has vanished, arousing the suspicion of the agency.

He was believed to have been

camping near Round Lake when he went dark.

Kidnapping, murder?

What do we think?

Well, Donovan,

we know that certain bad actors, the Russians among them,

may know of the research and would be willing to

launch a mission to obtain it.

We also know that Periwinkle has no tradecraft,

so that's a concern.

Defection?

The Russian Federation is quiet on it.

If it's a freelancer, we'll have to wait for the take.

This is Periwinkle's wife, Lucy.

She an asset?

We aren't sure if she knows anything.

The boys feel that she would have black bagged

any info that she had.

Nevertheless, she is a person of interest

because she had a shaky explanation as to how

Periwinkle's dog found its way home from the camp.

Window dressing?

Maybe we know that she was with this woman,

Dana Shepherd, a coworker.

She wasn't in his 201.

Backstop then?

Then, like I said, Chase, we don't know.

All we know

is that Periwinkle knows too much and we know too little.

So that's where you boys come in.

We need you to find out what happened to him.

This is your legends for the operation.

Wait a minute.

Gay men from Cincinnati. Yes.

Deal with it.

Well, hello.

Where'd you come from?

Oh I just happened to be in the area.

You come here often?

I uh...

This is very embarrassing.

I've seen it all before.

What's your name?

Ben... jamin.

Well, Benjamin. My name is Amelia.

It's nice to meet you.

Likewise.

Say, shouldn't you have a... A hat?

I don't uh...

wear one running...

or swimming.

Well, it's a good thing I found one.

It might come in handy,

don't you think? And you can return it to its rightful owner.

So... yes, ma'am.

Come now.

I'm not going to bite.

You can just throw it. ma'am.

All right.

Here.

Now, you might want to divert your eyes.

Well if we're lucky, we'll catch

my brother Ben down here, see if he's seen anyone.

He usually cools off after running.

I think I saw him when I came up.

He got passed before I could say anything.

Sort of an odd hobby, isn't it?

You mean for an Amish man?

I reckon so.

He's run one marathon already.

Just over 3 hours.

Says it keeps his mind off of temptation.

He must feel an awful lot of it.

Maybe.

I am kind of worried about Caleb, though,

With thieves, about and what have you.

Is this the way you come? Yes.

Jacob! Oh, that's him.

Hi.

Ben are you all right? I thought I heared ya.

Something strange just happened.

Well, that involved Caleb? Because he's wandered off.

No. Who?

Oh... this here is uh... Rick Periwinkle.

Benjamin Hill. Pleased to meet you.

I just seen a woman.

Oh... did she see you?

No.

She throwed me this hat out of modesty, I guess.

I wondered why you had it.

It ain't mine, but I don't know where she got it.

She just kind of appeared out of nowhere

and vanished just as quick.

Took my liquid soap, too.

I told you not to get hooked on that stuff.

I got her name.

She said it was Amelia.

Amelia huh?

You ever hear of this woman?

I don't think so.

She was wearing a leather jacket

and baggy pants from the old days.

Almost like if you was gonna to fly one of them uh...

two winged planes.

Had short hair.

Now, wait a minute.

My dog and I took the canoe across the lake last night,

and there were these pilgrim looking guys

from some creative anachronism society having a party.

It's kind of a blur, but I do vaguely recall

a woman being there

that looks like what you just described.

Amelia, You say?

I never spoke to her.

There was a bonfire.

I'm pretty sure they were trying

to get me drunk to steal my stuff.

I woke up down by the banks.

Mr. Periwinkle had all those things stolen last night.

My dog's missing, too.

You think it was these folks, then?

Well it's a long story.

He also thinks he's in the future Ben.

Oh?

I told them the story about Jutzi Colblentz.

We think maybe they got him knocked over the head

and maybe he'sa little mixed up at the moment.

That's a notion, I guess.

Where do you think she got this hat?

It's awful small.

You say this woman gave it to you?

Amelia?

This here's Caleb's.

You sure?

Sure looks like it.

How'd she get it?

What?

Wu schmoke is, is a feier.

Er is ganz ab.

What did he say?

You say you know this woman?

I said I might have seen her.

Can you show us where to find her?

I... I don't know.

Hey! Hey!

He must have dragged the canoe down there.

God why do you guys always camp miles away from any shower

or useful amenity?

You sound like a realtor.

I am a realtor, and so are you.

What can I say?

He always has to find the perfect spot.

Oh! Does he now?

Don't be a bitch.

It's not because of him that I...

Went native.

Well what would you call it?

I was just trying to get the friendship bracelet.

He's not here.

He must be somewhere.

His car is here.

He's not.

Once again, this doesn't add up.

You know what I don't see?

Yes, him.

A fire.

It must have been an hour before dark

by the time he even got here.

Why he-he brought the canoe down.

He sets all of this up and he didn't build a fire.

He always builds a fire.

Then maybe we weren't imagining things.

Maybe he didn't leave by choice.

But he took his wallet.

Maybe they took his wallet.

What? Do you mean, kidnaped? Why?

I don't know, sweetie.

Why else would he not be here

but his car and all of his stuff is?

Completely undisturbed.

Of course, they'd have to know where he lived.

Wait, you think they coerced him to return the dog to me?

Okay, that seems a little far fetched.

Jesus, maybe he did leave ripples at home.

Am I not clueless?

Unless he suspected you were

having an affair and came back to check?

Why would he suspect I was having an affair?

I asked you first.

Okay.

Okay. So we don't...

We don't have...

Sex

quite as often as we used to.

What? Uh...

Nope. Don't look at me like that.

I'm not answering that.

I'm not asking anything.

You are, too.

And I suppose it would amuse you to no end to know

that I-I would need a calendar to answer that question.

Shut up.

We are busy people. I'm not judging.

I'm just

saying it might explain why he'd be checking in on you.

Now. Wait.

Let's say...

that you do suspect your wife is having an affair.

So you sneak back home and it's worse than you ever imagined.

You don't drink a single beer beforehand

or after?

You'd drink a couple just to get up the nerve,

don't you think?

Okay.

You don't think he's homicidal, right?

Watching us from the bushes right now?

I mean, we are in the middle of nowhere

And if he saw you kiss me...

Oh-God! That was your idea!

Oh tongues? Tongues was not my idea!

Okay, well I didn't want you to think that I was prude!

Prude?

Hell you were Greta Garbo there for about ten seconds.

Oh! Yeah! Yeah,

I was flesh and you were the devil.

Okay. You watch too many movies.

He could have killed us easier at the house, anyway.

His prints are on everything.

Plus, he'd have this as an alibi.

God...

Well... I hope he didn't do anything drastic.

He's a biotechnologist.

If he did, it would be in the most efficient way possible.

Plus, he'd leave complete instructions

on how to deal with his corpse.

Let's think.

Wait a minute.

We know he didn't stay here.

Yeah, which is just odd, because he would never

go to a motel... Unless he was with someone.

Do you know something I don't?

No.

Well, why wouldn't they just do it right here

at Camp Infidelity?

Maybe there was a better venue.

One that doesn't allow dogs?

You know, I'm beginning to think that you are just evil.

First you steal my girl kiss virginity,

and now you're making a man whore out of my nerdy husband.

Okay, I was...

You know this leaves with two options, right?

Either-either he thinks I'm a closet homosexual,

or he's a closet philanderer, or both.

Oh ho. You guys are both hell on closets!

Would you be serious?

Okay.

I think either he saw us and he's on a bender,

or we've caught him.

Is there one answer you like better than the other?

He's got to be amateurs.

They led us right here.

I wouldn't be so sure.

Come on, let's circle around.

Shouldn't we wait?

No. I got to show a house in a couple hours.

Oh, husband gone, but mustn't stop award winning.

I thought you said you weren't judging.

Sleeping bag's made up...

They could have dressed it.

Backpack's open.

I don't see any valuables, though.

Better leave this to forensics.

I heard thunder last night,

Didn't you?

Yep.

Now, if I thought there was a threat of rain

I'd flip this canoe.

Unless you took it out this morning.

What are you getting at?

You think these two took him on a one way trip?

Possibly.

If he turns up a floater,

we'll know for sure.

The question is why?

Come in. Come in.

Now let me look at you.

I'm the headmaster around here.

Hudson's my name, But you can call me Henry if you like.

Have you heard of me?

Well, practically the whole region's named after me.

It's not called Sir Walter Raleigh Valley, now, is it?

What did he ever discover?

Malaria, lung cancer?

Knighted indeed.

I am an explorer, you see.

Some would say that I...

disappeared.

But I'm right here, aren't I?

Yes.

These blasted mops certainly would have come in handy

in my day.

With any luck, I would have discovered the Mississippi.

And then what need would we have for the French?

None!

Short of creme brulee.

But here I am stuck with one,

not to mention a tiddly scrivener

and another crew jumpy Dutch.

And you!

Future bishop.

Though you'd have no way of knowing that, would you?

Oh what?

Here, here.

There's no cause...

Henry!

You're scaring the poor thing.

I was just trying to explain.

I have a history with these people, you know?

Oh fairy diddle. Shoo!

There there now dear.

I'm Amelia.

What's your name?

Caleb.

Caleb.

I bet you're awful homesick,

aren't you?

So am I.

Did you know that these Dutchmen,

they brought me here too?

Yeah, they did.

I was flying an airplane.

You know what that is, I'm sure?

I was over the Pacific Ocean one morning when...

I started to hear these playful voices.

And then I saw the reflection of a silly

man sitting behind me.

And then just as suddenly as you,

I fell down the hole.

Kind of like Alice in Wonderland.

Do you know that story?

Well...

Hudson is kind of like...

the Mad Hatter around here,

and I'm kind of like Alice.

He'd say, “We don't act

like ourselves because we aren't quite ourselves.”

I know, I never understood him either.

But you see,

you and I are guests

at a tea party

where time has stopped.

This here is

Hudson's old pocket watch.

It doesn't run anymore.

It's dead.

See?

As if his time is up.

He's waiting for a white rabbit

to come and rewind it for him.

And when he does,

he will turn back the time

and suddenly all will be right again.

Tick, tock.

Tick, tock.

Everything back in its spot.

Like magic.

And here's the best part:

I've seen this rabbit.

I know where he is.

I'm going to pay him a visit.

And when I do,

he's going to teach me

the secret of the watch.

And then you'll go back to your eggs

and I will find that island.

I know where it is now.

Safe and sound.

A stitch in time.

So you can see

we are very special people in a very special place.

Heaven?

No, it's not...

Not quite Heaven.

Hell?

Oh no, certainly not hell, no no. We are... um...

We're somewhere in between.

It's like...

Oh!

It's like the inside of a mirror.

Now, most people look in the mirror

and they see themselves.

But you and I see others,

don't we?

We see beyond ourselves.

We see everything the mirror has ever seen.

That's why it's important time not stand still lest we end up

repeating the same mistakes over and over.

Home is right over there.

We can see them,

but they can't see us.

Oh we'll have such a laugh on them

when we come out, won't we?

Now you wouldn't want to spoil

the surprise, would you?

I knew you'd come around.

Now. Here, drink this.

It'll make you feel better.

It tastes like cherry pineapple and toast,

all put together.

Okay. We'll be back directly then.

Hey, come on, guys.

I don't know anything.

What are you gonna tell Miriam?

Truth, I reckon.

As far as I'm concerned, we're still looking.

Okay.

But you do know you could have avoided all this

by calling the police in the first place.

Oh, and have all them news people up here

snooping about asking about that woman you seen.

Oh I was just swimmin without my clothes on...

All right! All right,

this isn't worth getting shunned over.

No, it isn't.

Now, that Amelia woman showed up

about the same time as this Periwinkle did.

So if they's in this together

than we've gotta find her. Yeah.

He isn't no help.

You ever hear a tale such as he tells?

Like Rip Van Winkle from school?

You know there's people in the Old Order

that believes in them tales?

Go on.

Yeah.

They say that there's gnomes that live up in them hills.

And sometimes you can hear them bowling at night.

You mean thunder?

That's just what they say.

Kind of far fetched, don't you think?

Gnomes.

I've runned all over.

I ain't never seen any.

That's because there ain't any, okay?

Now I say

we wait until nightfall

and we paddle over,

that way they don't see us coming.

Don't we need him?

Naa, they probably got a signal worked out or something.

Check your weather app.

I'll be off my chump, LePrince.

How did Hudson know they'd lock him up?

The simple people do not trust the constables, Monsieur Bierce.

You mean to say they're simple, they're not stupid.

Oui.

Do do not tell him I said this:

It was a brilliant tactical maneuver.

Oh!

Those communication devices fascinate me.

Oui.

They appear to require deep concentration.

But these are farm people.

Perhaps it calculates barometric pressure, helping

determine the weather.

I swear I could hear a voice from it earlier.

It does appear that you must hold it just so

and signal with the um...

thumb.

Wish I could get a picture.

Camera is ne pouvant able!

Oh you act like you invented the thing.

I did invent the thing!

At least the cinema camera.

And if I had invented this one, it wouldn't change focus

Every time I bouge toi.

My my. No reason to get personal about it.

Tell that to Edison.

I'm supposed to be documenting this for Hudson.

Yes, I know.

I'm doing the same.

N'est-ce pas absurde.

A picture is worth 1000 words.

Oh! Precisely why a journalist is needed.

The truth is an ingenious compound of

desirability and appearance.

Ah! Take this scene, for instance.

Some would see a barn

with two Amish men using one of those devices, corrrect?

Oui. Yeah...

Others...

Others would see a man imprisoned.

It requires perspective, you see

Tres sage, Monsier Bierce.

But soon he will be liberated like the

Casanova de Seingalt, no?

Yes.

Let's just hope he knows that

belladonna means poison in English.

Hold on,

the gay Miami Vice just walked in.

Welcome to All-Brite.

How can I help you?

Yes, we are here to see Lucy Periwinkle.

My name is Donnie. This here is Chad.

And we're new in town.

From Cincinnati.

Do you have an appointment? It's like Saturday.

So she's probably at the house already.

The house?

Yes, silly. I told you!

Oh my, we were meeting her there?

Did you even write it down?

No, I didn't.

Typical.

I don't suppose there's any way

we could reach her?

He didn't even write down the address.

I'm just the intern.

I'm not supposed to give out information.

You are working the desk, honey.

Hold on.

Good morning, All-Brite.

Oh, that was you?

Uh okay.

Oh! Snap! Whoops.

Whatever. They'll call back.

What were you saying? The address?

I love your shadow, by the way.

Good morning, All-Brite.

Oh hey!

Yeah, they're still here...

Just... no, give me a second and

I'll get rid of them.

Let me just go see what key she took

if you for real want to go over to the house?

It's the least we can do, considering, don't you think?

I'm so sorry.

Oh pick up your face.

I'll be right back.

Okay.

Well, we'll talk it over and we'll get back to you.

Of course. Yeah. Let me know, okay?

Okay. It was great

seeing you guys again. Okay bye.

Have a good weekend.

If your spouse went missing,

how long do you think it take for you to get back to work?

Are you speaking about Marianne

or are you referring to us?

Hey that was brilliant back there.

What did you do to prepare?

I watched La Cage aux Folles...

I asked a friend,

Wait a minute.

Isn't that the other woman?

It is.

What do we know about her?

Not a lot.

She keeps popping up though.

Could be a dead drop.

C'mon.

Luce?

Dana?

What are you doing here?

You're supposed to be sleeping.

I couldn't sleep. I...

I still feel,

I don't know,

responsible,

I guess.

Don't.

If Rick saw something, you know, I can imagine how he felt.

Why would he see that coming?

Hell, I didn't see that coming.

But you're right. It probably is another woman.

You just called it what it was.

And uh, well, I was upset.

But I'm over it.

Okay?

Clearly.

I said I'd call you if I needed you.

Oh I lost that sale, by the way.

Hey,

uh, how do you know that this affair thing,

if that's what it was, wasn't happening all along?

What's your point?

I feel like we should have stuck around to find out, I guess.

Well, now that I've imagined what Rick must have felt,

I'm not so sure I wanted to see it myself.

For once, I'm going to be patient.

Okay. Well,

you really shouldn't be alone right now.

I appreciate that. Really.

It's just...

Well, after what happened last night,

I um...

I don't know. I just.

I felt kind of silly asking, you know, like,

I... I know that's completely stupid.

Yes, it is.

I...

Hey, the most important thing right now

is to figure out what happened to Rick.

Curtains?

Say um...

About last night...

This is really awkward, so, um,

laugh hysterically if I'm way off base here, but um...

When we...

Kissed,

were you

maybe

a little

attracted to me

for real?

Um...

Why do you ask?

Because I just wanted to know, that's all.

I-I didn't mean to

cause an existential crisis.

I...

I admire you.

I respect you.

You are amazing and successful

successful and

beautiful and

for a moment there, I guess I got caught up.

For a moment there?

Okay...

a lingering moment.

Year.

Whatever.

Oh, look I uh...

I just...

Did it.

And I don't regret it.

That's my excuse.

What's yours?

Great mother of shit balls! Um...

Wh..., is this-?

Is this really happening?

Uh... eh.

You...?

You had to tell me, didn't you?

You had to ask.

So what does this say?

Well,

in Europe,

I think it says that we are perfectly normal.

But if I'm married.

Okay...

So then...

in France and the Netherlands.

This would be professional suicide.

Lucy!

Not to mention

socially awkward and morally tenuous.

For God's sake, we're just friends!

Well then why can't I just let it go?

Oh God.

'Cause my husband is God knows where

Hey.

We'll find him.

It's okay.

Lucy.

Well please don't look at me like that.

Like what?

Like you're all

loving and sympathetic and stuff.

I hate you.

You know that?

You're trying to turn me into a lesbian.

Oh...!

I don't think it works that way.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Are you thinking that buyer brokers

and sales agents sometimes collude and you

overpaid for your house?

What?

No.

I'm thinking that those two, you know, are into each other.

And this is their motive.

It might explain our cover if the company knew

they were catnip for each other. Exactly.

All gays hang around the same circle.

I'm thinking that camp gag is their alibi.

And they didn't have the heart to leave the dog.

Touching but cold.

Of course, there is another theory, though.

Perhaps it was his motive.

Come again?

What if Periwinkle

got wind of Bambi and Thumper in there

and decided to join a spousal relocation program?

Well, you can't blame him if so.

What do you want to do?

Keep an eye on'em.

Sweep that lake.

And unfortunately,

we might have to mingle a little.

Well we packed for it.

Hear that?

Yeah.

Might be it's gonna rain.

Didn't say that on my app.

Shsh!

Zut! I forgot about the lock!

Here. Allow me.

Bend this here at a right angle.

Very well.

Is there nothing you can't do?

Deer?

You seeing what I'm seeing?

I'm not sure.

Goedenavond!

Aaa!

Dutchman?

I got a bad feeling so.

Say something.

Kannscht du Pennsilfaanisch Deitsch schwetzer?

Ik ben ein tijdreiziger.

Did he say, “time traveler?”

That's how I took it.

You go first.

You can hear me,

but you won't wake up.

Rick?

This is Amelia.

Do you remember me?

We met earlier at the bonfire.

You can hear me, but

you won't wake up.

When I've reached

the depths of your mind.

You can let me know

by moving this finger.

You'll still hear me.

But you won't wake up.

Good.

You can speak now,

but you won't wake up.

You hear my voice:

Amelia.

The boy is safe and he will be found.

In the depths of your mind,

you know that I can help you to solve your problem.

You want to go home?

Yes?

Yes.

I want to go home too.

You want to go home and resume your work?

Yes?

Yes.

It's very important to both of us.

It mustn't be lost.

You can trust me

to keep you safe.

Do you understand?

Yes.

Good.

You're working on a formula?

Yes.

And what does it do?

Catalyzes arachidonic acids

to leukotrienes, creating various proteins

in the nuclear membrane.

Can you explain it

so I can understand it?

Yes.

It reduces inflammation,

and accelerates auto immune response.

Does it...?

Prevent aging?

Yes, it should significantly.

Good.

And where...

do you keep this formula?

In my head.

Oh.

I see.

Uh... I don't know how to tell you, fellas,

but we's not drinkers.

Do you think they understand?

I think they's leading to somewhere.

Just be on guard.

Gentlemen!

Perhaps I could be of assistance.

Hudson's my name.

I assure you

these Dutch mean you no harm.

Well we'll just see about that.

Who are you people?

We are...

rather infrequent visitors to this area.

Every 20 years we arrive under a waning

crescent moon and remain until the new moon.

Some say

they've seen our bonfires

or heard bowling up in the hills.

Folklore, mostly.

Yeah. We heared the tales.

That fella there says you're

time travelers.

Well, the Dutchman are, yes.

Well, they invented time, as you may recall?

I-I. I don't think we got to that in school.

You said your name was?

Captain Henry Hudson, sir.

But Henry Hudson's dead.

Aww...! Well...

History has deemed me extinct,

it's true.

But I assure you, I'm still very much with you.

Well, how can that be?

Well, up to now, we've remained ahead of passing time,

skipping forward faster

than the speed of light through a parallel continuum.

I'd say it's been

approximately 130 of your days

since I...

rowed across the lake, so to speak.

When you sound plum crazy, mister.

And you're wasting our time.

It's my boy, Caleb, we're after.

He's about ten years old.

Have you seen him?

I'm afraid I have not.

What about a woman named Amelia?

You seen her?

Amelia huh?

Hmm...

And why would you be so interested in her?

Because she gave me the boy's hat, that's why.

Which means she's got him.

Oh dear!

I had no idea.

So you do know her?

I'm afraid I must confess.

Well a friend of ours says that we can find her over here.

A friend named Periwinkle, perhaps?

He says Dutch fellers took him.

And they say that you've taken him.

May be.

Who is he?

Oh I see. We're negotiating now, are we?

Maybe.

A rather clever scientist from his time period,

the 1990s, to be exact.

A group of...

astute inquisitors

would like to know what he knows.

But he was in danger.

So the Dutchman spirited him away.

Well what does he know?

The formula for perpetual life.

. You know, I'm afraid

we kind of got that one figured out, mister.

Uh, yeah!

You'ns might as well join up!

You done got the clothes.

Hahaha. Very amusing. Yes.

But not all of us take the Lord's

blessing as an endorsement of our prejudices.

I don't know what that means.

Why don't you lead us to this Amelia lady, and

we'll gladly give you back this Periwinkle.

Amelia?

Well...

I suspect...

she's in your barn

right about now.

Phooey! Which way is the boat?

You're married I see.

How did you meet?

In college.

And she saw you across the room?

Boyish...

Handsome?

No...

She was heating a hot pocket in a microwave.

Oh, so is she a scientist too?

No.

She's a realtor.

Does she know about your work?

No.

It's classified.

Hmm, I see.

A secret.

You know I have a secret.

Can I tell it to you?

I think you're swell.

You have...

such a beautiful mind.

Such a perfect hands.

I'm dizzy for ya.

Do... you understand?

Yes.

I'm not so sure you do.

Ooh! Oo-oo-woo-woo!

Ooh! Oo-oo-woo-woo-wooo-hoo!

Duty calls.

It's always calling, isn't it?

You know, sometimes I wonder what duty answers to?

A noble cause.

You're a dreamer.

I'm a dreamer too.

Maybe I dream too much for anybody's good.

Whoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo

hoo hoo hoo.

Time is short, madame.

It's done.

Send Heynrik back here with the boy.

All right.

I'll bring Periwinkle.

This is the formula.

Take that to Hudson.

Put it in a safe place.

The lock?

Oh the lock!

Meet you at the bridge just before the dawn.

Tres bien.

Avoir un bonne chance.

Oh dunner uns Gewidder! The boat's gone!

Wait, I see it.

What are you doing?

I'll get it.

I was fixing to do a triathlon anyway.

Good evening.

How was your nap?

Glorious.

What has been keeping you awake?

I had coffee.

I've moved on to option two.

Uh-huh... And what are we doing here?

We are going through my husband's

want not drawer.

Well, you never know when you'll need an extra rook.

You'll never know when you need to make a lateral move.

I guess.

Hey, what do you suppose um, these go to?

I don't know.

Carry on bags? The chest of the Freemasons?

Oh, handcuffs?

No?

All right. Wrong drawer.

Is this is rubber band collection?

He never throws anything out.

I guess that's why I'm still here.

Okay.

Mmm! Hey, hey, hey, hey!

What? What? What...

do you think of these phone numbers?

Who would leave their mistress's phone numbers lying around?

Did you check the matchbook?

No.

Shit! How do you know these things?

The question is, do you really want to know who that is?

Bitch will know I found her.

And this will make things better? How?

How? hell, I don't know.

I don't know.

I'm jealous.

I admit it.

I actually suck at this.

Hey come on. It's okay.

You've been up for...

a day and a half and you're drinking!

So?

Unh-uh.

No. As soon as we finish this, you are going to bed.

The wine isn't helping.

You know, I tell you what...

I will call this number and if it's her, then we'll deal.

She's-she's not going to pick up.

Well, then I'll leave a message.

What would you like me to say?

Mmm.

Tell her you kissed once in college

and ask her if she remembers?

She would remember.

She'd probably be less of a pain in the ass about it, too.

What's the number?

473-8222.

Oh! Uh hello.

Yeah.

How late are you open?

Okay.

Thank you.

What? The Meiwei Lotus.

This Meiwei Lotus?

Who eats at a restaurant written on the inside of a matchbook?

My husband.

The gastronome.

Shea's Lounge, 1941 Francis Street.

Where is that?

Uh...

Uh, the old part of town, I think.

Are you thinking he might be there?

It's on the way to the Meiwei Lotus.

And some food wouldn't hurt you.

Oh-ho! Carpe F-ing diem!

Oh unh-uh! Uh...

Unh-uh!

I am driving a princess.

You just sit back and enjoy the ride.

What do you think turns men gay?

Is it the kinky sex?

Or is it that they enjoy acting like women?

It's got to be the sex.

I know a couple of guys from the gym,

They seem pretty masculine to me.

Gives me the willies just thinking about it.

Then why are you thinking about it?

Well, I don't know.

Mind does curious things.

Like...

I'm gonna bump off my husband

so we can be lesbian lovers together.

Pager...

What?

Too much?

No.

Some woman just called Periwinkle's bravo code.

The distress number?

Who else has it?

Might have had it on him.

Get your jacket.

It's going to get hot.

Caw! Ooo!

Eh-whooo! Caw! Caw?

Hudson quiet! You'll scare the animals!

And what was that?

An owl passing a stone?

The French have nine species of owls, Monsieur.

I'm sorry, but I do not do

the British Barn Owl. Well?

Madame is completing her mission.

She has entrusted me with the formula.

And we are to meet her at the bridge just before the dawn.

Excellent. Wh-?

Why the bridge?

What about her things?

Peu de chose.

She also requests the boy.

Oh praise heaven.

We can rid ourselves of that sniveling child.

Heynrik? Ga Amelia helpen op de boerderij.

Ja, Capitan.

You see Bierce...

That was nothing to worry about.

You'll forgive me if I don't quite trust

the realm of the unreal.

The last hypnotist I knew convinced a man

he was an ostrich. A bird that will swallow most anything.

Fortunately for us,

they often become attached to their masters.

Yes, I'm sure if Amelia was to blow into his ear,

he'd acquiesce to her proposition.

Yes, sir. I defer to the Frenchman.

She was une fleur bleue for him,

I must confess. How's that?

In love, Henry. Oui.

A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

Where-the-hell did you learn that?

Old college dorm trick.

But now I'm out of floss.

Who is it boy?

He's probably gone.

Unless that lock slows them down.

Bolt cutters are locked inside the trailer.

You mean the trailer we just took the lock off of?

I never needed more than one lock!

It don't matter.

We know Amelia nd Periwinkle are in this together.

They must have Caleb over here somewhere.

Maybe they's community theater.

Well if so that Hudson's pretty good.

There's got to be a way to find out

who this Periwinkle really is.

Without involving the police.

Wait a minute.

I know, I know, I know.

Maybe there is.

Only it's a little outside of the Ordnungen.

Oh!

Here we go.

What is it?

Well I was thinking...

we could look him up on the internet.

I suppose you expect me to do this?

Well you were the last one on Rumspringa.

All right.

Give me your phone.

I ain't doing this on mine.

And...

This is going to cost you a pair of running shoes.

Well, looks like you're all thumbs there, brother.

You never was the funny one.

I hope you got a data plan.

$2.95 for five days.

What? Did you hit a porn site?

Nah.

They'd ask if I was eighteen first.

And how would you know that?

I just heared it from someone.

“This site may contain

embarrassing information or humiliating photos.”

Click okay.

Oh!

Right away Mr. “I'd never sully myself on the internet.”

Oh...

Now...

Wait a minute.

This here says Rick Periwinkle is deceased.

Well, you never were the smart one, were ya?

That obviously isn't him.

Maybe it's his father?

Right.

Wait a minute.

It lists a Lucy Periwinkle, age 57.

Our guy can't be much more than 40 if he's even that.

Could be his mother, though?

I reckon there's really only one way to find out.

How's that?

Well we'll ask him.

If he's still here.

IAFSI can't link

a bunch of these prints of yours,

but they're mostly at the lakeside.

We've got Periwinkle, obviously.

His wife.

D Shepherd...

and maybe a dozen others with no IDs at all.

This is looking more and more like a forced disappearance.

They've set up the wife

pretty good to take the fall for the murder.

And yours might kill you for that outfit.

You know, this is classified.

Yeah.

Some secrets are worth keeping.

We're gay men from Cincinnati.

Well, it was classified.

And I'm guessing

that you're the feminine one?

And I'm guessing you're not?

Ooo-fresh, aren't ya?

When did he become so sassy?

About three scarves ago.

I'm right here, you know?

Okay, honey.

Well, I have something for you guys.

This print right here...

It shows up at all three locations.

Home... office... camp.

What do these designations mean?

Specific lift locations.

Let's see.

This one is from the car that you pulled.

This one is, I think, canoe...

Lakeside...

and this one desk drawer office.

Uh-huh.

But we don't know whose it is?

Negative.

We've got positives on Periwinkle and the two women

we've cross-checked with our cousins about any known Joes.

Nada.

This person is Mr. or Ms. X.

Where else do these prints turn up?

Well, that's what I'm trying to work on.

See if I can get X's fingers to do the walking,

then maybe I can retrace some of his or her steps for you.

Lock's still on.

Well let's see.

Pappy?

Pappy, is that you?

Caleb!

Pappy!

Was he in here the whole time?

No.

Son, you all right? How'd you get locked in here?

They just now put me in here.

Who put you in here?

One of them Dutch.

What about the other fella?

That Dutch carried him off with the airplane lady.

The airplane lady? Um-hmm!

Was her name Amelia?

Yes, sir.

They was in an awful hurry.

Where'd they have ya, son?

Across the lake.

She give me a drink.

And I fell to dreaming.

Across the lake, huh?

Well...

Thank God you're home safe now.

You best run on and let your mom know you're here.

And...

Don't tell her nothing about this except you fell asleep.

Okay?

Yes, sir.

He's going to blab, and Miriam's

going to think he got into the beet wine.

Oh, that's your problem.

As far as I'm concerned this is the first I heared of it.

Yeah?

Well, Caleb's also going to slip up and mention this Amelia lady.

And that there's your problem.

As far as I'm concerned, it's the first time I heared of her.

I'm about to need some beet wine.

This thing has got me spooked.

Well...

Hold your water there.

Sun'll be up here pretty soon, and uh...

Sunday visiting day tomorrow.

What do you say we do like I said and

we pay this Periwinkle woman a visit?

That's an awful long buggy ride.

Well that's not what I had in mind.

Jacob Hill! Benjamin Hill!

Uh-oh.

Here it comes.

Come on.

Almost home.

The storm has passed.

It's just you and me now.

It's nice, isn't it?

It is.

The Dutch are aeromancers, you know?

They can influence the weather.

The lightning would have killed you.

But I wasn't...

going to let that happen.

I mean...

Sure, I'm stuck on you, but...

More importantly,

your life has more value

than to serve the unredeemed desires of

those lost to history.

Believe me.

I ought to know.

You never realize its value

until you're just...

watching it pass right before your eyes.

Did you dream about me?

I am...

Amelia.

You can call me Millie

if you like?

Do you like that name?

Sort of old fashioned.

Yeah, I guess it is.

What have you missed the most?

Ripples.

Ripples?

Ripples of water?

No, my dog.

Oh! Your dog.

Oh, perhaps he's found his way back.

I hope so.

All right, we're about to push off,

so you might feel a slight bump. But you're safe

and you won't wake up.

What did you order?

Most special pork, I think.

How 'bout you?

Mei Fun.

Singapore style...

spicy.

Well hopefully it will keep us awake.

So the boys are down below.

They were going to run a sonar on a body

while the lake is still.

You think this X will eventually turn up?

Maybe.

We know he/she

was at the office first.

Of course, could be window dressing

Sloppy to leave the prints.

Like I said, they're not pros.

If X comes to the house.

Not smart.

Maybe he's getting paid...

Maybe...

he's reporting.

Maybe he's a she?

Triangle.

X is definitely the key to the dog.

But something just doesn't add up.

Why would he or she come back here?

Well,

if it looks like things are getting hot,

it might make sense to move that stiff.

Night time is a perfect opportunity.

Soy sauce?

You can hear me,

but you won't wake up.

You can hear me

but you won't wake up.

You will not speak.

But raise your finger to indicate that you understand me.

Good...

They'll come for me

so I must go.

You will fall back into a...

deep sleep.

And you will not remember

where you have been,

or what has transpired.

Except for what we have agreed upon.

Do you understand?

Good.

When you awaken, you will feel rested

and refreshed.

And should we meet again,

you will recognize me by my touch.

And you remember that

dream you had of me.

Do you understand?

Goodbye darling.

Donovan?

Here, over.

You may want to come over here.

We may have something, over.

Roger. We're coming down, over.

Amelia!

Clarence, what doe you hier?

Da hond!

What do we got? There.

That's spooky.

Hell of a coincidence.

Chase?

I think we're on the right track.

You guys got gloves?

Let's get this thing out of here.

Where-the-devil is Amelia?

I can see the dawn.

Perhaps Monsiuer Periwinkle would not cooperate?

Perhaps he cooperated too willingly.

It'd be quite an education for that boy.

You're drunk Bierce!

Well, that's just the problem with some people.

When they aren't drunk, they're uh...

sober.

Damn your blood.

The only thing worse than a newspaper man, is a sodded one.

Oh!

And do you hear that?

The portal is threatening to close!

Oh give me a sip.

'Must be rye time somewhere.

She remembers the way?

She wasn't in one of those blasted flying machines

I don't see how she'd possibly get lost.

But we have the formula.

Oh dear.

Ah! Yes.

Here it is.

Diel dee lantern.

Well now that's odd...

You'd think the ingredients would require more specialty.

Cherry tart, custard, roast turkey...

What? Give me that!

Uh pineapple, hot buttered toast.

Mix it all together, and apply rule 42.

Rule 42. Rule 42, oh by jimmny!

It is a joke no?

Indeed, not! Oh...!

Just when I thought it was safe not to chase after fire wagons!

Damn it!

Monsieur Bierce, perhaps you need a bit of fresh water, no?

No, I'm stone sober.

But we must hurry. Hurry?

Rule 42.

Don't you know what that is?

No. It's from Alice in Wonderland.

All persons a mile high must leave the court!

Clever woman.

She's already gone. Flown the coop!

And she has everything she needs!

Zooterkins! What?

She can put him back after the storm.

But our the loops!

Ils resteront ouverts!

What?

They will remain open!

And trap us.

Mutiny...

Sometimes the hope of tomorrow

is buried in the past.

And we need to get there before it's too late.

Come along.

You know I told you to wear a disguise,

not change religions.

Whether it was this or a relief pitcher.

We's a bit limited over the Amish costume shop

Yeah, but we're just attracting more attention like this.

Well, I could have runned over and saved you the embarrassment.

Oh don't be so sensitive.

Your driving's pretty good, considering.

Considering what?

It's been since I was fourteen

on a tractor?

I knew them rows was never straight.

Okay, slow down there, Rabbi.

There it is.

I'll be back directly.

May I help you? Ma'am,

My name's Jacob Hill.

I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm here to ask about someone

you used to... Wait you're Amish?

Yes, ma'am.

I'm as Amish as shoo fly pie.

Well, shouldn't you um...

be in church? It's Sunday?

Well, no, ma'am, uh...

That's every other Sunday.

Most folks don't realize it, but this here is visiting Sunday.

So you're visiting me?

Well, if you are Lucy Periwinkle?

Yes.

Well, my brother and I are here to ask about a...

Rick Periwinkle, if you know him?

Yes.

Um... I um...

Wait, is that a Rabbi, with you?

It's my brother.

It's kind of a long story.

It's a TV show.

I would watch that.

I think there's enough Amish on TV, don't you?

Oh no, not for me...

Anyway...

Yes, I um...

I know, Rick.

I... I...

I knew Rick. Sorry.

I used... to be his wife.

Oh. I see.

Yeah, he's um...

Was declared dead in the mid 2000s.

Declared dead?

Yes.

He actually...

disappeared in 1998, but he was never found.

You don't have Internet.

Um...

Seven years.

That's the law.

I see. Well, uh...

Yeah it's fine. I... um... I've moved on.

But um, if you have any information on him,

I'm sure the police would be interested.

If you two aren't investigators yourselves of some sort.

These really aren't very convincing disguises,

now that I look at them.

Is there anything else? Mister... Hill?

No, ma'am.

Well, thank you,

Sweetie, who was that?

You are not going to believe this.

Well?

She said he's been dead for years.

That's what I told you.

We just have seen him. Yesterday.

And we saw Henry Hudson.

And Amelia Earhart.

They's dead too, by the way.

Would you give me my phone back and quit running up my charges!

Sorry.

I was curious.

You done killed the cat nine times already.

All right, All right.

Are you ready?

Maybe them dead people wanted us to see'em for some reason.

Maybe the good Lord did.

You mean, like?

Behold... I show you a mystery.

We shall not all sleep.

But we shall all be changed.

You was always good at memorizing them verses.

Hey, Lucy.

What?

I'm... I don't know. I'm...

I'm just...

I'm such a shitty wife!

You know... and and I... I'm a terrible friend.

And I'm not even a responsible pet owner!

C'mon, look: he's happy out there.

Hey, you're just upset.

This should have happened 20 or 30 hours ago.

It's.

It's okay.

Why are you so good to me?

Why? Why is everyone so good to me?

I'm a...

I neglect people.

I'm...

I am selfish.

I am so selfish.

And you.

You care about me.

And why do I give you in return for it? Nothing.

I get you!

Brilliant. Funny.

Admittedly, a bag full of flaky.

But you.

Come on.

What? Did I ruin a whole friendship with one stupid kiss?

If so then I'm the selfish one.

No, no. You're not. That's not-

I wasn't... I think your dog wants in.

Do you want me to get it, or do you need

to build an emotional bridge?

I'm sorry, Dana.

I didn't mean to lash out at you.

It's just I'm...

I'm so unhappy right now.

I know you are.

And hey, look, I'm.

I'm sorry, too, for all of the shit that I caused.

You know,

I thought that I was helping

by being here, but maybe I'm just making it worse.

No, no, God, please, please stay.

Can I.

Can I get you some coffee?

Uh, yeah, okay, um...

I could use that.

I was up half the night.

Yes, I know.

Um...

Dana, I'm.

I'm really so, so sorry about that. I um...

I just don't know what got into me.

Here. Look.

Thank you.

Thank you for everything.

Oh! “Everything.”

My timing really sucked.

I know.

Well, who knew a karmic shitstorm was coming?

You know?

You know, you're the only thing that I can...

depend on right now.

Um...

I... I borrowed this.

I hope you don't mind.

No, not at all.

Um...

Hey, uh so...?

What's your...

Your plan for the day?

Well, I'm planning on um...

building up the courage to deal with the inevitable.

Do you want to practice?

What you're going to say?

On me?

That was my hope.

You don't mind?

No, not at all.

Of course. Um...

Right here.

Well, all right.

Um...

Okay.

I have come to realize

that um...

there's more going on here...

than I originally thought.

Good Yeah. Direct.

No ambivalence.

Great. Go on.

Um... and last night...

I realized that um...

I won't be able to let it go...

until I know for sure.

Perfect.

Yeah.

Establish exactly where it stands.

You have the same right as everyone else to be happy

and so does he, for that matter, but...

Yeah. Okay. Okay.

I'm with you 100%.

Um...

Okay, so let's.

Let's just do this.

I'm ju... I'm just going to say it.

To the point.

Are we...

just going to...

pretend that we...

don't have these um...

special feelings for each other?

No, c'mon, that sounds way too vulnerable.

Of course you have special feelings for each other.

You're married.

But the point is that

now there's a distance between you and, well,

now you know there's someone else.

Exactly. That's. That's what I'm saying.

Yeah, I know it is.

No, no, you don't, Dana., um...

Look, what I'm trying to say is

I... might be attracted to you.

A little.

For real.

What?

Oh! Uh-hum. Wow.

You really caught me off guard there.

Yeah, well, tell me about it.

I know.

Like, I've never, ever, ever had these feelings before, and,

well, you know, like, I'm lying there last night,

and you're taking such good, good care of me, and...

And I see you find that that stupid fortune cookie.

And, like, all of a sudden, I become incredibly sad,

you know, because, like...

Like you can still love something you can't have?

I mean, who decided that?

Right?

So, so so that I think to myself...

I think, well, um...

You know, how does she see this?

Does she... imagine us together?

You know, like more than friends? Or...

does she imagine herself with me?

And-and more importantly, you know,

could I...? Could I see myself with her?

And then and then, of course,

God has a sense of humor

because you sort of disrobed right in front of me.

Oh-!

I know, I know.

Oh my god!

I know, get me a trench coat. I'm really, really sorry.

You checked me out?

Yeah, I did. I admit it.

Oh my God!

Dana you're beautiful. C'mon.

Oh!

Stop.

Look.

Can I ask you a question?

Will I press charges?

Maybe.

No!

You and um...

you and your... your friend from college.

Did you two ever?

You know, I don't.

I don't know how to ask this question.

Matriculate?

That sounds dirtier than it should.

Yeah, well, it would to you, peeping Tammy!

Okay look, I was just curious.

All right...

Are you asking,

“did we, uh, do...

did we do a girl thing?”

Yes. We did the girl thing.

And, you know, it didn't ruin me for guys

or um...

change my lifestyle or...

Or turn me into a vegetarian. But...

I haven't been able to look at love the same way since.

Can we, um...

kiss again?

I am afraid

of where that might lead.

No one's more afraid than I am.

There it is.

A match for your missing person.

Finally.

And do we know where the boat came from?

As a matter of fact, yes.

See this?

Green algae.

It's normal for lakes and streams,

except it's usually removed by state pollution control.

Blocks light, kills fish.

Bad for business.

But it's on the boat,

which tells me that

it must be kept here:

an inlet on the west of the lake

across from your campsite.

Phaedra, you're amazing. Um-hmm.

What about the prints here? X?

Negative.

The seat, the oar... another unknown Joe.

Jesus how many people are after this guy?

Heynrich! What doe you hier?

Mein... mein capitaine! Yes, yes.

Waar is Amelia?

Hinder.

It is a good sign, no?

The haymaking has moved from the barn to monsieur's chambre.

And where do you suppose

we'll find our Amelia? Tidying up the tent?

The storm has passed, you know.

Oui. Oui.

Yeah.

You know,

women would be far more charming if we could fall to their arms

without falling into their hands.

Her only date here is with destiny.

We need that formula.

I'm afraid

he's seen us... What is the concern?

None.

He will not remember us, Monsieur.

Just... retreat casually into the woods.

And perhaps we can still collar him

while the bloom is still on the rose.

Leave it to me.

If I learned anything from Pancho Villa,

it's how to get information.

Morning, boys.

Beautiful day for some live

action role playing, don't you think?

Now, what's your interest across the lake?

Wow. He's quick.

Ripples!

Aw... you found him!

Oh where did you go, boy?

Where did you go?

Uh... thank you so much!

I don't know what to say.

Where was he?

Oh, just underneath some mimosas.

What? Around here?

No, he had gotten pretty far.

Chased a rabbit down a hole maybe.

Well, then how... How did you find me?

Oh I asked up at a farm.

An Amish man said he'd seen you.

I... I...

I can't tell you what this means.

I was.

I was distraught.

I know that sounds...

silly. Um...

My name's Rick.

I'm Amelia.

How do you do?

Amelia?

Have we met?

I don't think so.

I could swear I...

Well, you're my lifesaver today, Amelia.

Well, then you owe me one.

You know, you do look vaguely familiar

now that I get a good look at you.

Did you, um...

Did you hear something?

You know, like, while we were

matriculating?

Oh my... Well...

Now that you, uh, mention it,

would you like that with um,

sound effects?

Or just swear words?

Can I um, be brutally honest?

No.

I... I hope he doesn't hurry back.

Well,

the uh, sapphic Bat Signal will go up soon enough.

I guess I need a new speech.

Well try to aim for a different result.

I should let the dog out.

Unh-uh... He's fine.

Ohp! Sorry.

They got warm.

It's fine.

Cheers.

Awfully quiet

for a Saturday.

Yes.

It's nice, though.

Peaceful.

Look, I should, uh...

I'm not.

I'm married.

I just feel like I should mention it.

Yes, I noticed your ring.

Aw, yeah...

You know, in ancient Egypt

they were a symbol of eternity.

I don't wear one.

Oh, so you're...? Married? Yes.

But I told my husband in our vows

that I would never be bound to him nor him to me.

That's... progressive.

Oh hooey! It's just...

It's human nature, isn't it?

Destiny has a way of...

finding people, I think...

You're sort of an interesting

mix of modern thinking and retro fashion.

If I can say that.

I'll take that as a compliment.

And what might I say about you?

A curious mix of...

savant...

and...

migrant worker.

Well just...

What are you thinking,

Mister Forthright?

But obviously conflicted?

Do you think I'm making love to you?

No, no, that wasn't my insinuation.

I was j... I...

Oh, dear.

I must be losing my touch.

It's all right. Really. I'm sorry.

I'm just a hopeless flirth.

So...

Tell me about your work.

What do you do?

Well, it's sort of long

and complicated, to be honest.

Those are two of my favorite things.

Well, uh...

If you don't have somewhere to be?

Probably.

But I have to confess,

I have a bad habit of losing track of time.