All language subtitles for Ripping Yarns - 4 - Murder at Moorstones Manor

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:48,120 --> 00:00:52,319 - The old AC is going jolly well. - Yes darling, it seems to be. 2 00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:54,239 The old trick worked, you see. 3 00:00:54,360 --> 00:00:56,352 We changed the stroke ratio on the crankshaft. 4 00:00:56,480 --> 00:00:59,154 - You get less revs and more horsepower. 5 00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:01,591 Do your parents live all on their own out here? 6 00:01:01,720 --> 00:01:05,157 No, they've got a couple of Davenport 257s, bought them cheap during the war. 7 00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:09,672 Had both the engines re-bored, put in a dual piston screw converter. 8 00:01:09,800 --> 00:01:13,840 Cleaned up an old Lucas 200 distributor and banged in four carburettors. 9 00:01:13,960 --> 00:01:17,271 - It goes like a rocket. - It's not any better, is it, darling? 10 00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:21,036 - No. - I think you ought to give up driving. 11 00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:25,117 I can't give up driving, Dora. Who'd look after the Talbot? 12 00:01:25,560 --> 00:01:28,120 I mean, the adjustments on those pistons need oiling twice a week 13 00:01:28,240 --> 00:01:30,709 - and the tappet clearances... - Oh, stop it, Hugo. 14 00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:32,315 Sorry. 15 00:01:32,920 --> 00:01:37,870 Hugo, you must decide between the car or me. 16 00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:40,871 All right, I'll take the car. 17 00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:42,679 - Oh! - I love her, Dora. 18 00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:45,431 I love the way I can get twice the speed at less revs 19 00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:48,439 by a simple adjustment to the timing ratio in the engine. 20 00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:50,472 Or by putting the two coils in the alternator lead... 21 00:01:50,600 --> 00:01:52,114 Stop here, Hugo. 22 00:01:52,240 --> 00:01:54,277 Emergency stop? Oh, jolly good. 23 00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:57,353 Look at that, eh? No locking. 24 00:01:57,480 --> 00:02:00,234 That's using the new friction liner pads we fitted. 25 00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:01,709 Goodbye, Hugo. 26 00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:05,440 Goodbye, love. 27 00:02:07,640 --> 00:02:09,552 - Hugo? - Goodbye. 28 00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:12,235 Hugo? 29 00:02:15,440 --> 00:02:16,954 Oh, Hugo. 30 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:34,959 Hello, Hugo darling. 31 00:02:35,080 --> 00:02:37,197 Hello, Mumsy. How about that? 32 00:02:37,320 --> 00:02:40,791 Darkstones Moor to here in 41.7 minutes. 33 00:02:40,920 --> 00:02:42,320 That's an average of 56. 34 00:02:42,640 --> 00:02:45,519 - Jolly good old tub. - Where's Dora? 35 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:48,479 You know, Ma, that's the first time we've used that re-bored cylinder 36 00:02:48,640 --> 00:02:51,314 and that new petrol injector feed I was telling you about. 37 00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:53,240 Where's Dora? 38 00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:55,431 Uh, she got out on Darkstones Moor. 39 00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:58,356 She got out on Darkstones Moor? 40 00:02:58,640 --> 00:03:00,836 Yes, I think that's what made all the difference to the average. 41 00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:02,997 You know, I remember once taking the Morgan out on the Brooklands track 42 00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:04,918 with old Tiny Townsend. 43 00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:07,509 Two of us could only squeeze 50, and that was with a twin exhaust. 44 00:03:07,640 --> 00:03:12,476 Yes, dear, how interesting. Clive, Dora's out on Darkstones Moor alone. 45 00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:15,116 - She what? - Hello, Father. 46 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:17,719 - I'll kill him. - Not now, Dada. 47 00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:20,230 He's very bad today. We'd better call a doctor. 48 00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:23,034 Hey, come and see this new manifold now I've cleaned it all up. 49 00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:25,637 Call a doctor? 50 00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:29,795 - What he needs is a damn good thrashing. - Clive, please! 51 00:03:29,920 --> 00:03:32,276 He needs the skin taken off his back 52 00:03:32,400 --> 00:03:36,519 with a triple-thonged bamboo-backed leather strip! 53 00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:38,120 That's what he needs. 54 00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:40,550 Remember what the doctors in London said. 55 00:03:40,640 --> 00:03:45,715 Doctors? What doctors need is a damn good flogging. 56 00:03:46,520 --> 00:03:49,513 You know what the Ottoman Turks used to do with loonies? 57 00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:52,718 - He's not a loony, Dada! - Used to tie 'em to trees. 58 00:03:52,840 --> 00:03:54,752 Beat 'em senseless. 59 00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:56,593 They didn't stand for any nonsense. 60 00:03:57,080 --> 00:04:00,437 Hugo, come and lie down. It's been a long journey. 61 00:04:00,720 --> 00:04:04,077 But don't you want to see the remould on the cylinders? It's a super little job. 62 00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:06,353 Let me just kick him! 63 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:14,151 Dora was such a nice girl, dear. 64 00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:18,914 She can't have much upstairs if she spends her time with a loony like Hugo. 65 00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:22,389 I don't think we should just leave her there, Dada. 66 00:04:22,920 --> 00:04:24,957 Damn good for her if you ask me. 67 00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:31,878 You know what the Malays used to do to find out if a man was really a warrior or not? 68 00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:35,474 - They used to tear out his... 69 00:04:36,840 --> 00:04:38,069 Who's that? 70 00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:39,793 That will be Charles and Ruth, dear. 71 00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:44,231 That pair, come to ruin me weekend again, I suppose. 72 00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:47,558 They've come all the way down from London for your birthday, Clive. 73 00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:49,552 The least you can do is to be civil to them. 74 00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:51,996 They only come down to see whether I'm dead or not! 75 00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:55,073 I'll be upstairs if they want me. 76 00:05:01,680 --> 00:05:03,990 Mr Charles and Miss Ruth, my lady. 77 00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:10,511 - Charles! - Hello, Mumsy. 78 00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:14,350 - Hello, Lady Chiddingfold. - Hello, my dear, I'm so glad you've come. 79 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:16,551 We've had an awful time with Hugo, you know. 80 00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:18,876 He left Dora alone on Darkstones Moor. 81 00:05:19,280 --> 00:05:21,158 Yes, yes. We passed her in the car. 82 00:05:21,840 --> 00:05:24,400 - How was she? - Oh, very distraught, not at all well. 83 00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:27,035 Yeah, she only had her summer frock on, poor girl. 84 00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:33,314 - Where's Father? - He's in his lair, dear. 85 00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:35,272 Very well, I better go and say hello. 86 00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:39,078 Would you like a cup of tea, Ruth dear? 87 00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:44,560 Well, perhaps something a little stronger, I feel, after that journey, Lady Chiddingfold. 88 00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:49,000 - Coffee? - No, I meant something a little stronger. 89 00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:54,030 - In the sense of... - Bovril with two spoonfuls or Marmite? 90 00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:59,158 No, I was thinking of something more in the line of a whisky. 91 00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:02,759 Bovril and whisky? 92 00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:05,911 No, just the whisky. 93 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:09,876 Of course, Ruth my dear, I'm so sorry. I'm in such a damn muddle at the moment. 94 00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:14,791 Ah, Manners, a whisky please. 95 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,514 With Bovril, milady? 96 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:19,036 No, no, no. Just a whisky, Manners. 97 00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:25,520 Hello, Father. 98 00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:27,919 Hello, Charles. 99 00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:38,436 Bloody Oscar Wilde. 100 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:40,556 What did you say, Father? 101 00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:43,880 Bloody Oscar Wilde! 102 00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:48,599 Oh! Oh! Yes, yes. Yes. 103 00:06:52,840 --> 00:06:54,559 And how is the Foreign Office? 104 00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:57,036 Uh, not bad really, we finished painting the Whitehall side, 105 00:06:57,160 --> 00:06:58,913 and we start on the west front next week. 106 00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:02,558 Still no chance of a job inside? 107 00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:04,758 No, far too dim. 108 00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:06,678 Yes, I suppose so. 109 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:14,036 Oh! 110 00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:20,754 No, Manners, whisky in a whisky glass. 111 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:22,713 Yes, milady. 112 00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:26,356 The garden's looking delightful, Lady Chiddingfold. 113 00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:30,076 Oh, yes, they're all over 60, you know. Knowles is 97. 114 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:32,556 Took him 13 hours to pull up a weed the other day. 115 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:34,354 Of course, Clive wants to have them neutered. 116 00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:36,033 No, I said the gardens. 117 00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:39,231 Ah, your whisky at last. 118 00:07:41,240 --> 00:07:43,038 Shall we join the men upstairs? 119 00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:45,952 - Much better. - Mmm. 120 00:07:49,480 --> 00:07:52,598 I was saying to Lady Chiddingfold how fine the grounds were looking. 121 00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:54,951 She certainly has the green fingers in this family. 122 00:07:55,400 --> 00:08:00,873 The only man with green fingers I ever knew was Tooler Moran of the KOLI. 123 00:08:02,040 --> 00:08:07,798 He was beating some chappie in Burma for breathing too regularly. 124 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:09,400 Not now, Clive. 125 00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:12,872 You know, he was one of the few men I know 126 00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:15,600 who was squeezed to death by an anaconda. 127 00:08:16,520 --> 00:08:18,034 All his innards. 128 00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:20,280 Dear, listen to that wind. 129 00:08:21,280 --> 00:08:23,556 Going to be a hell of a night if you ask me! 130 00:08:33,640 --> 00:08:35,597 Ever fought the Turks? 131 00:08:36,480 --> 00:08:40,076 They were vicious johnnies! There was this fella, 132 00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:43,872 he was obviously some sort of commander wallah. 133 00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:48,032 Big chap, boils all over his forehead. 134 00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:52,751 He orders a whole platoon to get out their bayonets. 135 00:08:53,840 --> 00:08:59,472 Then he gets them to pull back their own fingernails one by one! 136 00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:03,274 - And put quicklime... - Oh! 137 00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:06,873 What's the matter with her? 138 00:09:07,920 --> 00:09:10,799 Oh, it's nothing, Father. She's just a touch squeamish, that's all. 139 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:15,677 Squeamish? It wouldn't have done me any good to be squeamish. 140 00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:18,799 We didn't have any time for that squeamish nonsense. 141 00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:22,631 When you're fighting next to a fellow with both his knees hanging off, 142 00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:24,992 you can't afford to start getting squeamish. 143 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:28,356 Hello, all. No one told me I was missing supper. 144 00:09:28,440 --> 00:09:30,750 Hugo... darling. 145 00:09:30,840 --> 00:09:33,150 My God, here comes the family loony. 146 00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:35,670 Hello, Charles. Hello, Ruthy. 147 00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:40,630 Farther, you know you used to have one of those barracuda eight cylinders 148 00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:41,870 with an overhead camshaft? 149 00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:43,997 Hugo, don't bother your father now. 150 00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:45,873 Go back to bed and have a nice rest. 151 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:48,720 Well, the other day I was trying to realign the cylinders on the old AC. 152 00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:51,713 You know, soup it up a bit. And apparently, the easiest way to do it 153 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:53,632 with an overhead camshaft like the one you've got... 154 00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:56,394 - Oh, go away! - Hugo, to bed, please. 155 00:09:56,480 --> 00:10:00,235 - ...is to realign the throttle control. - Hugo, please, you're not well. 156 00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:03,119 I'm all right, Mumsy. Don't worry about me. 157 00:10:03,240 --> 00:10:05,471 Of course you're not all right, you idiot! 158 00:10:05,560 --> 00:10:09,440 Manners, help me take Master Hugo back upstairs, please. 159 00:10:09,560 --> 00:10:10,596 Yes, milady. 160 00:10:10,680 --> 00:10:12,876 Give him a damn good throttling. 161 00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:15,520 Ah, that's what I mean. It's all in the throttle. 162 00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:18,638 An extra half yard of cable attached directly to the carburettor feed, 163 00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:22,714 aligned to the angle of the distributor head, increase the compression ratio. 164 00:10:22,840 --> 00:10:24,069 And if you readjust the connecting wire... 165 00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:25,759 What a disaster! 166 00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:29,238 I'd rather have a box of fish than a son like that. 167 00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:31,399 Looking forward to your birthday tomorrow, Pater? 168 00:10:31,480 --> 00:10:32,550 No. 169 00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:36,838 The trouble is, Mumsy, that on the specification 170 00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:38,838 there's a black lead to the distributor... 171 00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:40,798 Yes, just rest, dear. 172 00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:42,839 Do you think I'll ever get over it, Mother? 173 00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:46,118 - I hope so, dear. 174 00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:48,072 Just keep eating lots of fruit. 175 00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:49,953 - Oh, no! 176 00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:53,796 That'll be your father being murdered. 177 00:10:56,560 --> 00:10:59,280 - What happened? - Uh, Dada has been murdered. 178 00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:01,154 Oh dear, but how? 179 00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:02,833 I don't know. I didn't see who did it. 180 00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:05,480 I was over at the wall in the end seeing if there was a secret door in it. 181 00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:08,513 And suddenly I heard a shot and I came over here and found that he was dead. 182 00:11:08,640 --> 00:11:11,599 - Oh, perhaps he shot himself. - Yes, yes, that's probably it. 183 00:11:11,680 --> 00:11:13,114 Well, I can't see a gun anywhere. 184 00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:16,352 Perhaps he shot himself and then threw the gun out of the window 185 00:11:16,440 --> 00:11:18,159 to lay suspicion on the gardeners or something. 186 00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:20,033 He's been shot in the back. 187 00:11:20,240 --> 00:11:22,630 Mumsy, who would have wanted to kill him? 188 00:11:23,080 --> 00:11:26,118 - We all would, dear, you know that. - Yes, yes, I suppose so. 189 00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:27,953 - Milady. - Yes, Manners? 190 00:11:28,040 --> 00:11:30,032 It's Miss Ruth. She is dead as well, milady. 191 00:11:30,120 --> 00:11:32,351 Oh, not now, Manners, please. 192 00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:34,193 Milady, I just thought you would like to know. 193 00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:37,671 Yes, I do appreciate it, Manners, but with my husband just being murdered 194 00:11:37,760 --> 00:11:39,672 and having Hugo in bed and everything... 195 00:11:39,760 --> 00:11:42,229 - Can we read the will now, Mumsy? - No, dear. 196 00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:45,194 Look, darling, we must get it sorted out in here first. 197 00:11:45,280 --> 00:11:46,634 How many people are dead? 198 00:11:46,720 --> 00:11:48,552 - Well, there's Daddy. - Yes, that's one. 199 00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:50,552 - And poor old Ruthy. - Yes, that's right, two. 200 00:11:50,640 --> 00:11:52,597 And what about Hugo? 201 00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:56,239 - Hugo's not dead. - Well, he's not very well, is he, Mumsy? 202 00:11:57,280 --> 00:11:59,795 But I only want to know who's actually dead, dear. 203 00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:01,912 Perhaps I'd better pop upstairs and check on Hugo. 204 00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:03,673 - He's awfully quiet. - All right. 205 00:12:04,280 --> 00:12:07,478 Don't give him a shock, dear. Don't tell him what's happened. 206 00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:09,632 Oh, no, no, no. I'll be ever so careful. 207 00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:13,800 - Manners? - Yes, milady? 208 00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:15,798 Go and check the gun case immediately. 209 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:17,320 Yes, milady. 210 00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:20,680 - Oh, and Manners? - Yes, milady? 211 00:12:20,760 --> 00:12:23,229 Tell Edith we'll only be three for lunch tomorrow. 212 00:12:23,320 --> 00:12:24,993 Yes, milady. 213 00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:29,115 The telephone, milady. 214 00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:31,192 Yes, thank you, Manners. 215 00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:38,197 - Hello? 216 00:12:38,320 --> 00:12:40,391 Hello? Oh, hello, Madge. 217 00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:44,113 Yes. Yes. Yes. Oh! 218 00:12:44,240 --> 00:12:46,800 Oh, dear, what a shame. I'm so sorry. 219 00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:49,719 And he's got to have the whole lot out, has he? 220 00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:53,510 Yes. Well, I'm sure he'll be better for it. They say that, yes. 221 00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:56,914 Oh, yes! Madge, can I ring you back? 222 00:12:57,800 --> 00:13:01,077 No, no. It's just that a couple of people have died and I... 223 00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:03,149 What? 224 00:13:03,560 --> 00:13:08,112 No, one shot. One drowned, I think. 225 00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:10,598 Yes, it is a shame. Yes. 226 00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:15,752 Yes, Clive was one of them. Shot in the back. 227 00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:18,434 I'm afraid so. 228 00:13:19,040 --> 00:13:20,520 Oh, yes, it is. 229 00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:23,077 Oh, yes. Well, he was 87! 230 00:13:23,520 --> 00:13:25,876 Look, Madge, I really must... 231 00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:27,189 What? 232 00:13:27,320 --> 00:13:29,471 No, I'm sure it's better Frank had it out. 233 00:13:29,560 --> 00:13:31,836 Yes, at least he'll be able to sit down properly again. 234 00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:33,440 Yes, yes. 235 00:13:35,320 --> 00:13:37,152 At the cottage hospital? 236 00:13:37,280 --> 00:13:40,034 Oh, yes they are very nice. Yes, I'm sure. 237 00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:42,629 Look, Madge, I must dash, I've heard another... 238 00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:46,314 In a ward of his own? Oh, yes, that's so much nicer. 239 00:13:51,040 --> 00:13:52,713 Oh, yes, quite. 240 00:13:53,480 --> 00:13:56,075 Look, I must dash, really. 241 00:13:56,480 --> 00:13:59,359 Madge, I think someone else has been... What? 242 00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:02,391 Yes. Yes, of course I can. 243 00:14:02,560 --> 00:14:05,837 I can give you a lift. Right, yeah. 244 00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:09,113 Yes, yes, 3:00 outside Lewis's. Bye. 245 00:14:10,480 --> 00:14:13,837 Mumsy, it's just as well I looked, Hugo is dead. 246 00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:15,600 Hugo is dead? 247 00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:17,433 Yes, I didn't see who did it again. 248 00:14:17,560 --> 00:14:19,950 I was talking to him one minute and suddenly I looked under the bed 249 00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:22,549 to see if there was a trap door leading to a secret passage underneath the house, 250 00:14:22,640 --> 00:14:24,074 and I heard a shot. 251 00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:26,556 And I looked up and there he was, Hugo, 252 00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:29,878 Dada's eldest son who stood to inherit everything, dead. 253 00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:31,714 Definitely dead. 254 00:14:32,160 --> 00:14:34,311 Shall I call the police, milady? 255 00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:36,677 It may not be necessary, Manners. 256 00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:38,792 No, I don't think there's anything the police can do. 257 00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:41,958 - Waste of the rate-payers money, really. - Will you leave us for a moment, Manners? 258 00:14:42,040 --> 00:14:43,952 Yes, milady. 259 00:14:45,160 --> 00:14:47,231 - Charles? - Yes, Mumsy-pie? 260 00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:49,960 I'd rather keep this in the family, if you don't mind. 261 00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:51,554 Oh, yes, I quite agree. You don't want any... 262 00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:55,840 So be completely honest with me. Did you kill them, Charles? 263 00:14:56,320 --> 00:14:58,039 No, of course I didn't, Mumsy! 264 00:14:58,400 --> 00:14:59,675 You killed Aunt Mabel, dear. 265 00:15:00,280 --> 00:15:02,556 - That was ages ago. 266 00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:04,632 What was that? 267 00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:10,911 Oh, dear, who on earth can that be? It's half-past twelve. 268 00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:12,719 Jehovah's Witnesses? 269 00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:17,913 - Oh! - Dora! 270 00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:33,634 Charles? 271 00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:39,156 Charles, dear, have you been murdered? 272 00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:41,239 Uh, no, Mumsy. 273 00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:44,239 Just cleaning one of Pater's old 12 bores and it went off. 274 00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:48,110 Oh dear, it gave me quite a shock. Thank God it didn't hit anyone. 275 00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:51,990 Uh... Well, it did hit someone, Mumsy. 276 00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:54,396 - Who, dear? - Uh, Hugo. 277 00:15:54,480 --> 00:15:56,358 But Hugo is dead already, dear. 278 00:15:56,680 --> 00:15:58,637 Yes, yes. That was the lucky thing. 279 00:15:58,720 --> 00:16:00,632 Oh, well, do take care, dear. 280 00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:03,631 If I were you, I should put them away! 281 00:16:04,240 --> 00:16:05,833 Who, Manners and Dora? 282 00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:07,872 No, the guns, dear. 283 00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:09,713 Oh! 284 00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:13,554 Frightened of the police, eh, Mumsy? 285 00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:18,199 No, of course not, dear, I just don't want anyone else to be murdered, that's all. 286 00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:22,119 Who, uh... 287 00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:25,513 Who were you ringing up this morning, Mumsy? 288 00:16:26,520 --> 00:16:28,477 If you must know, I was phoning up Dr Farson. 289 00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:30,153 Who is Dr Farson? 290 00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:33,597 Dr Farson is a very clever doctor from Inverness. 291 00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:35,837 And he happens to be an old friend of your father. 292 00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:38,119 He's agreed to see Dora 293 00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:41,796 and perhaps help find out who killed your father and poor Hugo. 294 00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:43,992 Oh, Mumsy, it doesn't matter who did it. 295 00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:46,476 The fact is they're both dead, Hugo definitely. 296 00:16:46,560 --> 00:16:49,678 I think we ought to open the will and see how much money and land we're all getting, 297 00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:51,314 so I can go back to London on Monday. 298 00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:53,551 I know how busy you are, Charles, darling. 299 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:57,755 But I can't actually let all these murders go by without doing something. 300 00:16:57,920 --> 00:17:01,277 Dr Farson is very clever man and, what's more, he'll be discreet about it. 301 00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:03,832 Now please go and put some things on, dear. 302 00:17:06,560 --> 00:17:10,440 Well, he'll only say they've been murdered, and you know what that means. 303 00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:13,440 Well, let's see, dear. We may find it isn't murder. 304 00:17:14,040 --> 00:17:16,635 They might have fallen on the bullets or something. 305 00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:21,078 No, I know. They'll all look at me as though I murdered them. 306 00:17:21,920 --> 00:17:23,036 Just like they did with Aunt Mabel. 307 00:17:23,480 --> 00:17:25,597 Well, you did murder Aunt Mabel, dear. 308 00:17:25,680 --> 00:17:28,752 There you go, Mumsy. Even you're holding it against me. 309 00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:31,400 I'm not holding it against you, dear. 310 00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:33,518 Now please go and get ready. 311 00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:36,951 I'm coming in as soon as I finish this dreadful weeding. 312 00:17:39,120 --> 00:17:41,760 I think we ought to bury them in the garden and get on and read the will. 313 00:17:41,880 --> 00:17:45,669 We can't just do that sort of thing, dear. You need coroners and funerals and things. 314 00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:48,912 - Why? Why do you need funerals? - People like funerals, dear. 315 00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:52,078 - We didn't have a funeral for Aunt Mabel. - We all know why that was, dear. 316 00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:54,439 Why? Why did we not have a funeral for Aunt Mabel? 317 00:17:54,560 --> 00:17:56,631 - We couldn't find her, dear. - We found most of her. 318 00:17:56,760 --> 00:18:00,436 Now, Charles, please, I'm not going to have to speak to you again, please, really. 319 00:18:00,560 --> 00:18:03,951 - I'm going to open the will. - You can't do that, Charles, dear. 320 00:18:04,040 --> 00:18:06,350 - Why not? - It's in London at the solicitor's. 321 00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:09,480 - All right, I'll give them a ring. - Oh, you... 322 00:18:10,120 --> 00:18:11,679 You're worse than your father. 323 00:18:17,600 --> 00:18:22,800 Charles, dear, when I write to the Telegraph, do you think I should say 324 00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:26,237 "passed peacefully away" or just "passed away"? 325 00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:28,554 "Shot away"? 326 00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:32,839 "Suddenly", perhaps that's better. Yes. 327 00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:36,470 "Chiddingfold, Sir Clive, suddenly at Moorstones Manor, 328 00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:38,870 "on February the 19th, aged 87." 329 00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:41,676 That's rather beautiful, isn't it? Nice and simple. 330 00:18:42,360 --> 00:18:44,920 "Suddenly shot clean through the head at Moorstones Manor"? 331 00:18:45,120 --> 00:18:47,635 Charles dear, it's four pounds a line now, you know. 332 00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:51,195 I rang the solicitors this morning, Mumsy. 333 00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:53,078 Did you know Hugo has left all his money to Dora? 334 00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:55,397 How about "suddenly in the night"? 335 00:18:56,240 --> 00:18:59,597 He left her £14,000 and 17 cars, Mumsy. 336 00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:00,716 Poor Dora. 337 00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:02,359 Yes, perhaps I better pop up and see her. 338 00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:05,160 Charles, dear, you will be careful, she is in shock. 339 00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:09,071 Yes, I'm only going to pop up and see if she's any worse, that's all. 340 00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:12,398 - Charles? - Yes, Mumsy? 341 00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:14,360 What's that? 342 00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:18,279 Oh! Um, just cleaning it, Mumsy. 343 00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:20,551 I thought I'd finish cleaning it while I was chatting to Dora. 344 00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:23,031 Well, don't point it at her, darling. 345 00:19:23,360 --> 00:19:25,795 Oh, no, Mumsy. I know not to do that. 346 00:19:33,120 --> 00:19:34,873 "Very suddenly in the night." 347 00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:40,635 - All right, Manners? - Yes, milady. 348 00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:43,517 Dr Farson. 349 00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:45,711 I'm Lady Chiddingfold. 350 00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:47,832 Welcome to Moorstones Manor. 351 00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:52,429 Your husband told me so much about you. 352 00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:56,793 It really is most kind of you, Dr Farson, to come all this way from Inverness. 353 00:19:56,880 --> 00:20:00,112 Madam, had I realised how beautiful my hostess was to be, 354 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,954 I would have crossed the seven seas themselves to get here. 355 00:20:03,040 --> 00:20:05,475 I'd have fought wild beasts and flown through time itself... 356 00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:07,358 - Charles! 357 00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:08,750 Sorry! 358 00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:12,117 That's Charles, I'm afraid. He has a thing about doctors. 359 00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:14,078 Oh, yes. 360 00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:18,390 Hello, Charles. Your father and I were in the army together. 361 00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:23,639 Sorry, just cleaning it. Fragment of bullet got stuck at the end of the barrel. 362 00:20:24,280 --> 00:20:26,158 Dear, is your shoulder all right? 363 00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:28,232 Don't worry about me. 364 00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:32,440 It is as nothing compared to the pain I feel in my heart. 365 00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:34,957 Can we go upstairs to an empty bedroom? 366 00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:39,118 I love you. I can't wait. I've got everything. 367 00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:49,517 Oh, this is my son Charles. He's the one who's not dead. 368 00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:52,719 I was saying what a very beautiful, beautiful woman your mother is. 369 00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:58,194 Uh, Charles, will you take Dr Farson up to Dora's room, please? 370 00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:01,269 - Dora? - Yes, my son's fiancée. 371 00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:03,272 She was lost on the moor. 372 00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:06,189 She arrived in a hysterical state last night. 373 00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:10,191 I don't think there is much the doctor can do, Mumsy. She's slipping away fast. 374 00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:12,039 In fact, she's probably dead by now. 375 00:21:12,120 --> 00:21:14,919 - I think she's got pneumonia or cholera. - Off you go. 376 00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:24,396 I will be back. 377 00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:28,150 Yes, when you finish, there are some other people to see. 378 00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:38,593 How was she? 379 00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:44,112 She is in a state of severe shock, Lady Chiddingfold. 380 00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:45,953 But I think she'll recover. 381 00:21:46,360 --> 00:21:48,511 She had some traumatic experience last night 382 00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:50,273 which she still finds difficult to describe. 383 00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:52,314 Is there anything you can do? 384 00:21:53,120 --> 00:21:55,760 Well, I rubbed some Vick on her chest. 385 00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:58,560 - Did that help? - Yes. 386 00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:00,994 Yes, it did. Thank you. 387 00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:04,071 Now, if we just go in here... 388 00:22:07,360 --> 00:22:09,397 This is my eldest son, Hugo. 389 00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:10,675 Oh... 390 00:22:11,960 --> 00:22:13,917 Oh, I see he's been shot quite recently. 391 00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:16,037 He was shot last night and then again this morning. 392 00:22:16,120 --> 00:22:17,600 - Oh, I see. - By mistake. 393 00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:19,639 Now, he's dead, isn't he, Doctor? 394 00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:21,752 - I mean, he's not going to recover, is he? - Oh, Charles. 395 00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:24,679 No, no, no. He's quite severely dead. 396 00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:27,839 I think I'll go and sit with Dora. 397 00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:30,077 Why don't you stay with us, Charles dear? 398 00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:32,751 No, I think someone ought to be with her, Mumsy. 399 00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:34,678 During her last hours. 400 00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:39,917 And over here is my husband. 401 00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:46,518 - He's dead. - Yes. 402 00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:50,270 - Shot. - But can you, for instance, say where from? 403 00:22:51,920 --> 00:22:53,912 - I know what you're thinking. - What? 404 00:22:54,560 --> 00:22:56,279 You're thinking I have a false lip. 405 00:22:56,640 --> 00:22:58,757 - No, I wasn't. - What's wrong with a false lip? 406 00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:01,073 People have false arms, false legs. 407 00:23:01,240 --> 00:23:02,993 Absolutely nothing, I'm sure. 408 00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:07,192 All right, I do have a false lip. It's obvious, isn't it? 409 00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:10,356 - That's what you're thinking. - It isn't obvious, Dr Farson. 410 00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:12,272 Of course it's obvious! 411 00:23:12,520 --> 00:23:15,957 Juts out when the mouth's closed. It doesn't fit cleanly under the other one. 412 00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:18,479 And it can't withstand hot soup. 413 00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:21,399 Oh! 414 00:23:21,520 --> 00:23:23,796 Oh, I was a fool. 415 00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:27,199 I thought I'd take the cheap one. 416 00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:30,835 For an extra £200 I could have had a new lip. 417 00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:36,120 Honestly, Dr Farson, I really don't know which lip it is that's false. 418 00:23:36,840 --> 00:23:39,196 To think that our love should end like this. 419 00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:41,920 I think you're rather over-dramatising the situation, Dr Farson. 420 00:23:42,040 --> 00:23:44,111 I haven't seen you for 12 years. 421 00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:46,954 Ah, but I have seen you, Lady Chiddingfold. 422 00:23:47,440 --> 00:23:49,511 I have passed this house many times before. 423 00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:52,915 I have seen you at the window and in the garden. 424 00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:55,953 My heart has been bewitched by you. 425 00:23:57,480 --> 00:24:00,393 - Oh, Lady Chiddingfold. - Oh, my husband. 426 00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:02,512 - Forget your husband. - You're supposed to be examining him. 427 00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:04,114 There's no point. I know he's dead. 428 00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:07,677 He died with a bullet lodged in between the sternum and the cryovascular nerve, 429 00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:09,234 fired from this gun. 430 00:24:09,320 --> 00:24:11,232 Dr Farson, you? 431 00:24:11,320 --> 00:24:13,357 How do you think I got here so quickly from Inverness? 432 00:24:13,480 --> 00:24:15,312 Because I've been watching this house for weeks. 433 00:24:15,440 --> 00:24:20,515 Waiting, waiting! Just so as to make you mine by destroying all around you. 434 00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:23,240 Mine and mine alone. Just you and me. 435 00:24:24,120 --> 00:24:25,952 And then... And then this... 436 00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:28,833 bloody cheap lip lets me down. 437 00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:31,594 I love you. I've always loved you. 438 00:24:31,800 --> 00:24:34,076 Since that black day you married him instead of me. 439 00:24:34,760 --> 00:24:37,992 Dr Farson, I can't bear being touched! 440 00:24:39,120 --> 00:24:43,717 Lady Chiddingfold, if you reject me, no one else shall have you. 441 00:24:44,600 --> 00:24:46,910 All right, you, drop that gun. 442 00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:50,596 - Oh, Manners, thank God you... - Stay where you are, milady. 443 00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:53,511 Or you'll get what I gave your husband. 444 00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:56,277 - Manners? - Yes. 445 00:24:56,640 --> 00:24:58,199 Manners, milady. 446 00:24:58,720 --> 00:25:03,078 Your polite, humble, obsequious little lap dog, Manners. 447 00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:05,197 Manners, who opens doors 448 00:25:05,280 --> 00:25:08,239 and tells his master and his mistress when the telephone rings. 449 00:25:09,120 --> 00:25:12,158 Well, that's why I decided it was time someone waited on me, 450 00:25:12,320 --> 00:25:14,835 someone listened to me for a change. 451 00:25:14,920 --> 00:25:16,991 And that's why I killed him. 452 00:25:17,080 --> 00:25:19,754 And that's why I killed Master Hugo. 453 00:25:20,360 --> 00:25:23,034 Because I'd had about as much as I could take! 454 00:25:23,440 --> 00:25:25,159 Don't believe him. I killed them. 455 00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:28,039 - No, I killed them! - I killed them! 456 00:25:28,120 --> 00:25:30,316 I killed them and I'll prove it to you. 457 00:25:32,360 --> 00:25:36,434 Oh, my God! Charles! Charles is upstairs with Dora! 458 00:25:37,040 --> 00:25:39,760 He was supposed to be looking after her. Charles! 459 00:25:41,360 --> 00:25:43,670 Charles, what have you... 460 00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:46,879 Dora? 461 00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:49,399 It's all right, Lady Chiddingfold. 462 00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:51,593 I can look after myself. 463 00:25:52,080 --> 00:25:53,833 I looked after Hugo after all. 464 00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:56,276 Oh, not you, Dora. 465 00:25:56,680 --> 00:25:59,752 Does it surprise you that your idiot son's fiancée 466 00:25:59,840 --> 00:26:02,435 wasn't the demure little girl you wanted her to be? 467 00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:03,590 She's lying. 468 00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:05,273 - I killed them. - I killed them! 469 00:26:05,360 --> 00:26:09,115 I'm up to here with cars and carburettors and camshafts. 470 00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:12,070 I've borne it for six years. 471 00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:16,234 I walked back here 40 miles, Lady Chiddingfold, 472 00:26:16,320 --> 00:26:20,599 took a gun from the gun case while you were all stuffing your fat faces, 473 00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:22,951 listening to that pig of a husband of yours. 474 00:26:23,040 --> 00:26:26,431 And I got rid of them! I got rid of them both! 475 00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:29,760 - Forever. - No, you didn't. I did. 476 00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:30,990 I did. 477 00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:33,993 Don't believe them, my little rosebud. It was me. Honestly. 478 00:26:34,120 --> 00:26:35,156 It was me. 479 00:26:35,520 --> 00:26:37,830 It was not, you bastard, it was me. 480 00:26:37,920 --> 00:26:39,593 It was me! 481 00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:43,835 You couldn't have done it. You're all talk. 482 00:26:44,280 --> 00:26:46,237 I killed Aunt Mabel. Remember that. 483 00:26:47,040 --> 00:26:49,600 - I killed Aunt Mabel. - Oh, come off it. 484 00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:51,717 Everyone knows I killed Aunt Mabel. 485 00:26:51,800 --> 00:26:53,712 Oh, yes, he did kill Aunt Mabel. 486 00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:57,191 They're all lying. I killed them because I wanted to have you all to myself. 487 00:26:57,280 --> 00:26:58,999 I stood to gain much more than you! 488 00:26:59,360 --> 00:27:03,070 The entire estate, money, wealth, fortune! 489 00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:06,915 But I had the classic motive - brooding resentment. 490 00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:12,075 Festering over a prolonged period, suddenly erupting in a holocaust of violence. 491 00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:15,320 You couldn't hate a flea, servant. 492 00:27:15,400 --> 00:27:16,800 Don't say that. 493 00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:20,032 You can answer the door, you can serve the dinner, 494 00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:23,149 but you couldn't kill a garden worm. 495 00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:24,879 Oh, no? 496 00:27:27,440 --> 00:27:28,715 Oh! 497 00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:30,958 Well, anyone can do that. 498 00:28:05,320 --> 00:28:08,074 - The telephone. - Oh, yes, thank you, Manners. 499 00:28:09,680 --> 00:28:10,955 Oh... Hello? 500 00:28:11,720 --> 00:28:13,359 Oh, hello, Madge. 501 00:28:14,120 --> 00:28:16,271 Oh, has he? Oh, good. 502 00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:19,954 Look, Madge, I really haven't got a moment. 503 00:28:20,040 --> 00:28:21,713 Can I ring you back? 504 00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:26,633 No. No, I didn't know you were in love with him. 505 00:28:28,280 --> 00:28:32,194 You what? Oh, no, Madge, you can't have done. 506 00:28:33,040 --> 00:28:36,477 No, Madge, really, four people have already confessed. 507 00:28:36,560 --> 00:28:38,517 - There isn't a... 508 00:28:38,600 --> 00:28:40,478 Madge! Madge! 509 00:28:55,720 --> 00:28:57,473 Oh dear. 38613

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