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1
00:00:48,120 --> 00:00:52,319
- The old AC is going jolly well.
- Yes darling, it seems to be.
2
00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:54,239
The old trick worked, you see.
3
00:00:54,360 --> 00:00:56,352
We changed the stroke ratio
on the crankshaft.
4
00:00:56,480 --> 00:00:59,154
- You get less revs and more horsepower.
5
00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:01,591
Do your parents live
all on their own out here?
6
00:01:01,720 --> 00:01:05,157
No, they've got a couple of Davenport
257s, bought them cheap during the war.
7
00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:09,672
Had both the engines re-bored,
put in a dual piston screw converter.
8
00:01:09,800 --> 00:01:13,840
Cleaned up an old Lucas 200 distributor
and banged in four carburettors.
9
00:01:13,960 --> 00:01:17,271
- It goes like a rocket.
- It's not any better, is it, darling?
10
00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:21,036
- No.
- I think you ought to give up driving.
11
00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:25,117
I can't give up driving, Dora.
Who'd look after the Talbot?
12
00:01:25,560 --> 00:01:28,120
I mean, the adjustments on those pistons
need oiling twice a week
13
00:01:28,240 --> 00:01:30,709
- and the tappet clearances...
- Oh, stop it, Hugo.
14
00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:32,315
Sorry.
15
00:01:32,920 --> 00:01:37,870
Hugo, you must decide
between the car or me.
16
00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:40,871
All right, I'll take the car.
17
00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:42,679
- Oh!
- I love her, Dora.
18
00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:45,431
I love the way I can get twice
the speed at less revs
19
00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:48,439
by a simple adjustment
to the timing ratio in the engine.
20
00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:50,472
Or by putting the two coils
in the alternator lead...
21
00:01:50,600 --> 00:01:52,114
Stop here, Hugo.
22
00:01:52,240 --> 00:01:54,277
Emergency stop? Oh, jolly good.
23
00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:57,353
Look at that, eh? No locking.
24
00:01:57,480 --> 00:02:00,234
That's using the new friction liner pads
we fitted.
25
00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:01,709
Goodbye, Hugo.
26
00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:05,440
Goodbye, love.
27
00:02:07,640 --> 00:02:09,552
- Hugo?
- Goodbye.
28
00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:12,235
Hugo?
29
00:02:15,440 --> 00:02:16,954
Oh, Hugo.
30
00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:34,959
Hello, Hugo darling.
31
00:02:35,080 --> 00:02:37,197
Hello, Mumsy. How about that?
32
00:02:37,320 --> 00:02:40,791
Darkstones Moor to here in 41.7 minutes.
33
00:02:40,920 --> 00:02:42,320
That's an average of 56.
34
00:02:42,640 --> 00:02:45,519
- Jolly good old tub.
- Where's Dora?
35
00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:48,479
You know, Ma, that's the first
time we've used that re-bored cylinder
36
00:02:48,640 --> 00:02:51,314
and that new petrol injector feed
I was telling you about.
37
00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:53,240
Where's Dora?
38
00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:55,431
Uh, she got out on Darkstones Moor.
39
00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:58,356
She got out on Darkstones Moor?
40
00:02:58,640 --> 00:03:00,836
Yes, I think that's what
made all the difference to the average.
41
00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:02,997
You know, I remember once taking
the Morgan out on the Brooklands track
42
00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:04,918
with old Tiny Townsend.
43
00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:07,509
Two of us could only squeeze 50,
and that was with a twin exhaust.
44
00:03:07,640 --> 00:03:12,476
Yes, dear, how interesting.
Clive, Dora's out on Darkstones Moor alone.
45
00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:15,116
- She what?
- Hello, Father.
46
00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:17,719
- I'll kill him.
- Not now, Dada.
47
00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:20,230
He's very bad today.
We'd better call a doctor.
48
00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:23,034
Hey, come and see this new manifold
now I've cleaned it all up.
49
00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:25,637
Call a doctor?
50
00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:29,795
- What he needs is a damn good thrashing.
- Clive, please!
51
00:03:29,920 --> 00:03:32,276
He needs the skin taken off his back
52
00:03:32,400 --> 00:03:36,519
with a triple-thonged
bamboo-backed leather strip!
53
00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:38,120
That's what he needs.
54
00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:40,550
Remember what the doctors in London said.
55
00:03:40,640 --> 00:03:45,715
Doctors? What doctors need
is a damn good flogging.
56
00:03:46,520 --> 00:03:49,513
You know what the Ottoman Turks
used to do with loonies?
57
00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:52,718
- He's not a loony, Dada!
- Used to tie 'em to trees.
58
00:03:52,840 --> 00:03:54,752
Beat 'em senseless.
59
00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:56,593
They didn't stand for any nonsense.
60
00:03:57,080 --> 00:04:00,437
Hugo, come and lie down.
It's been a long journey.
61
00:04:00,720 --> 00:04:04,077
But don't you want to see the remould
on the cylinders? It's a super little job.
62
00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:06,353
Let me just kick him!
63
00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:14,151
Dora was such a nice girl, dear.
64
00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:18,914
She can't have much upstairs if she
spends her time with a loony like Hugo.
65
00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:22,389
I don't think we should
just leave her there, Dada.
66
00:04:22,920 --> 00:04:24,957
Damn good for her if you ask me.
67
00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:31,878
You know what the Malays used to do to
find out if a man was really a warrior or not?
68
00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:35,474
- They used to tear out his...
69
00:04:36,840 --> 00:04:38,069
Who's that?
70
00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:39,793
That will be Charles and Ruth, dear.
71
00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:44,231
That pair, come to ruin me
weekend again, I suppose.
72
00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:47,558
They've come all the way down
from London for your birthday, Clive.
73
00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:49,552
The least you can do is to be civil to them.
74
00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:51,996
They only come down to see
whether I'm dead or not!
75
00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:55,073
I'll be upstairs if they want me.
76
00:05:01,680 --> 00:05:03,990
Mr Charles and Miss Ruth, my lady.
77
00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:10,511
- Charles!
- Hello, Mumsy.
78
00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:14,350
- Hello, Lady Chiddingfold.
- Hello, my dear, I'm so glad you've come.
79
00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:16,551
We've had an awful time
with Hugo, you know.
80
00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:18,876
He left Dora alone on Darkstones Moor.
81
00:05:19,280 --> 00:05:21,158
Yes, yes. We passed her in the car.
82
00:05:21,840 --> 00:05:24,400
- How was she?
- Oh, very distraught, not at all well.
83
00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:27,035
Yeah, she only had her
summer frock on, poor girl.
84
00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:33,314
- Where's Father?
- He's in his lair, dear.
85
00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:35,272
Very well, I better go and say hello.
86
00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:39,078
Would you like a cup of tea, Ruth dear?
87
00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:44,560
Well, perhaps something a little stronger,
I feel, after that journey, Lady Chiddingfold.
88
00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:49,000
- Coffee?
- No, I meant something a little stronger.
89
00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:54,030
- In the sense of...
- Bovril with two spoonfuls or Marmite?
90
00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:59,158
No, I was thinking of something
more in the line of a whisky.
91
00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:02,759
Bovril and whisky?
92
00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:05,911
No, just the whisky.
93
00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:09,876
Of course, Ruth my dear, I'm so sorry.
I'm in such a damn muddle at the moment.
94
00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:14,791
Ah, Manners, a whisky please.
95
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,514
With Bovril, milady?
96
00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:19,036
No, no, no. Just a whisky, Manners.
97
00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:25,520
Hello, Father.
98
00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:27,919
Hello, Charles.
99
00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:38,436
Bloody Oscar Wilde.
100
00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:40,556
What did you say, Father?
101
00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:43,880
Bloody Oscar Wilde!
102
00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:48,599
Oh! Oh! Yes, yes. Yes.
103
00:06:52,840 --> 00:06:54,559
And how is the Foreign Office?
104
00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:57,036
Uh, not bad really,
we finished painting the Whitehall side,
105
00:06:57,160 --> 00:06:58,913
and we start on the west front next week.
106
00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:02,558
Still no chance of a job inside?
107
00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:04,758
No, far too dim.
108
00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:06,678
Yes, I suppose so.
109
00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:14,036
Oh!
110
00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:20,754
No, Manners, whisky in a whisky glass.
111
00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:22,713
Yes, milady.
112
00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:26,356
The garden's looking delightful,
Lady Chiddingfold.
113
00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:30,076
Oh, yes, they're all over 60, you know.
Knowles is 97.
114
00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:32,556
Took him 13 hours to
pull up a weed the other day.
115
00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:34,354
Of course,
Clive wants to have them neutered.
116
00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:36,033
No, I said the gardens.
117
00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:39,231
Ah, your whisky at last.
118
00:07:41,240 --> 00:07:43,038
Shall we join the men upstairs?
119
00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:45,952
- Much better.
- Mmm.
120
00:07:49,480 --> 00:07:52,598
I was saying to Lady Chiddingfold
how fine the grounds were looking.
121
00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:54,951
She certainly has the green fingers
in this family.
122
00:07:55,400 --> 00:08:00,873
The only man with green fingers
I ever knew was Tooler Moran of the KOLI.
123
00:08:02,040 --> 00:08:07,798
He was beating some chappie
in Burma for breathing too regularly.
124
00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:09,400
Not now, Clive.
125
00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:12,872
You know,
he was one of the few men I know
126
00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:15,600
who was squeezed to death
by an anaconda.
127
00:08:16,520 --> 00:08:18,034
All his innards.
128
00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:20,280
Dear, listen to that wind.
129
00:08:21,280 --> 00:08:23,556
Going to be a hell of a night if you ask me!
130
00:08:33,640 --> 00:08:35,597
Ever fought the Turks?
131
00:08:36,480 --> 00:08:40,076
They were vicious johnnies!
There was this fella,
132
00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:43,872
he was obviously some sort
of commander wallah.
133
00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:48,032
Big chap, boils all over his forehead.
134
00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:52,751
He orders a whole platoon
to get out their bayonets.
135
00:08:53,840 --> 00:08:59,472
Then he gets them to pull back
their own fingernails one by one!
136
00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:03,274
- And put quicklime...
- Oh!
137
00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:06,873
What's the matter with her?
138
00:09:07,920 --> 00:09:10,799
Oh, it's nothing, Father.
She's just a touch squeamish, that's all.
139
00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:15,677
Squeamish? It wouldn't have
done me any good to be squeamish.
140
00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:18,799
We didn't have any time
for that squeamish nonsense.
141
00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:22,631
When you're fighting next to a fellow
with both his knees hanging off,
142
00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:24,992
you can't afford to start getting squeamish.
143
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:28,356
Hello, all.
No one told me I was missing supper.
144
00:09:28,440 --> 00:09:30,750
Hugo... darling.
145
00:09:30,840 --> 00:09:33,150
My God, here comes the family loony.
146
00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:35,670
Hello, Charles. Hello, Ruthy.
147
00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:40,630
Farther, you know you used to have
one of those barracuda eight cylinders
148
00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:41,870
with an overhead camshaft?
149
00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:43,997
Hugo, don't bother your father now.
150
00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:45,873
Go back to bed and have a nice rest.
151
00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:48,720
Well, the other day I was trying to realign
the cylinders on the old AC.
152
00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:51,713
You know, soup it up a bit.
And apparently, the easiest way to do it
153
00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:53,632
with an overhead camshaft
like the one you've got...
154
00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:56,394
- Oh, go away!
- Hugo, to bed, please.
155
00:09:56,480 --> 00:10:00,235
- ...is to realign the throttle control.
- Hugo, please, you're not well.
156
00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:03,119
I'm all right, Mumsy. Don't worry about me.
157
00:10:03,240 --> 00:10:05,471
Of course you're not all right, you idiot!
158
00:10:05,560 --> 00:10:09,440
Manners, help me take
Master Hugo back upstairs, please.
159
00:10:09,560 --> 00:10:10,596
Yes, milady.
160
00:10:10,680 --> 00:10:12,876
Give him a damn good throttling.
161
00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:15,520
Ah, that's what I mean.
It's all in the throttle.
162
00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:18,638
An extra half yard of cable attached
directly to the carburettor feed,
163
00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:22,714
aligned to the angle of the distributor head,
increase the compression ratio.
164
00:10:22,840 --> 00:10:24,069
And if you readjust the connecting wire...
165
00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:25,759
What a disaster!
166
00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:29,238
I'd rather have a box of fish
than a son like that.
167
00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:31,399
Looking forward
to your birthday tomorrow, Pater?
168
00:10:31,480 --> 00:10:32,550
No.
169
00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:36,838
The trouble is, Mumsy,
that on the specification
170
00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:38,838
there's a black lead to the distributor...
171
00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:40,798
Yes, just rest, dear.
172
00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:42,839
Do you think I'll ever get over it, Mother?
173
00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:46,118
- I hope so, dear.
174
00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:48,072
Just keep eating lots of fruit.
175
00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:49,953
- Oh, no!
176
00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:53,796
That'll be your father being murdered.
177
00:10:56,560 --> 00:10:59,280
- What happened?
- Uh, Dada has been murdered.
178
00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:01,154
Oh dear, but how?
179
00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:02,833
I don't know. I didn't see who did it.
180
00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:05,480
I was over at the wall in the end
seeing if there was a secret door in it.
181
00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:08,513
And suddenly I heard a shot and I came over
here and found that he was dead.
182
00:11:08,640 --> 00:11:11,599
- Oh, perhaps he shot himself.
- Yes, yes, that's probably it.
183
00:11:11,680 --> 00:11:13,114
Well, I can't see a gun anywhere.
184
00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:16,352
Perhaps he shot himself and
then threw the gun out of the window
185
00:11:16,440 --> 00:11:18,159
to lay suspicion on the gardeners
or something.
186
00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:20,033
He's been shot in the back.
187
00:11:20,240 --> 00:11:22,630
Mumsy, who would have wanted to kill him?
188
00:11:23,080 --> 00:11:26,118
- We all would, dear, you know that.
- Yes, yes, I suppose so.
189
00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:27,953
- Milady.
- Yes, Manners?
190
00:11:28,040 --> 00:11:30,032
It's Miss Ruth. She is dead as well, milady.
191
00:11:30,120 --> 00:11:32,351
Oh, not now, Manners, please.
192
00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:34,193
Milady, I just thought you would like to know.
193
00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:37,671
Yes, I do appreciate it, Manners,
but with my husband just being murdered
194
00:11:37,760 --> 00:11:39,672
and having Hugo in bed and everything...
195
00:11:39,760 --> 00:11:42,229
- Can we read the will now, Mumsy?
- No, dear.
196
00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:45,194
Look, darling, we must get it
sorted out in here first.
197
00:11:45,280 --> 00:11:46,634
How many people are dead?
198
00:11:46,720 --> 00:11:48,552
- Well, there's Daddy.
- Yes, that's one.
199
00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:50,552
- And poor old Ruthy.
- Yes, that's right, two.
200
00:11:50,640 --> 00:11:52,597
And what about Hugo?
201
00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:56,239
- Hugo's not dead.
- Well, he's not very well, is he, Mumsy?
202
00:11:57,280 --> 00:11:59,795
But I only want to know
who's actually dead, dear.
203
00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:01,912
Perhaps I'd better pop
upstairs and check on Hugo.
204
00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:03,673
- He's awfully quiet.
- All right.
205
00:12:04,280 --> 00:12:07,478
Don't give him a shock, dear.
Don't tell him what's happened.
206
00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:09,632
Oh, no, no, no. I'll be ever so careful.
207
00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:13,800
- Manners?
- Yes, milady?
208
00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:15,798
Go and check the gun case immediately.
209
00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:17,320
Yes, milady.
210
00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:20,680
- Oh, and Manners?
- Yes, milady?
211
00:12:20,760 --> 00:12:23,229
Tell Edith we'll only
be three for lunch tomorrow.
212
00:12:23,320 --> 00:12:24,993
Yes, milady.
213
00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:29,115
The telephone, milady.
214
00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:31,192
Yes, thank you, Manners.
215
00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:38,197
- Hello?
216
00:12:38,320 --> 00:12:40,391
Hello? Oh, hello, Madge.
217
00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:44,113
Yes. Yes. Yes. Oh!
218
00:12:44,240 --> 00:12:46,800
Oh, dear, what a shame. I'm so sorry.
219
00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:49,719
And he's got to have
the whole lot out, has he?
220
00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:53,510
Yes. Well, I'm sure he'll be better for it.
They say that, yes.
221
00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:56,914
Oh, yes! Madge, can I ring you back?
222
00:12:57,800 --> 00:13:01,077
No, no. It's just that a couple
of people have died and I...
223
00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:03,149
What?
224
00:13:03,560 --> 00:13:08,112
No, one shot. One drowned, I think.
225
00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:10,598
Yes, it is a shame. Yes.
226
00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:15,752
Yes, Clive was one of them.
Shot in the back.
227
00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:18,434
I'm afraid so.
228
00:13:19,040 --> 00:13:20,520
Oh, yes, it is.
229
00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:23,077
Oh, yes. Well, he was 87!
230
00:13:23,520 --> 00:13:25,876
Look, Madge, I really must...
231
00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:27,189
What?
232
00:13:27,320 --> 00:13:29,471
No, I'm sure it's better Frank had it out.
233
00:13:29,560 --> 00:13:31,836
Yes, at least he'll be able
to sit down properly again.
234
00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:33,440
Yes, yes.
235
00:13:35,320 --> 00:13:37,152
At the cottage hospital?
236
00:13:37,280 --> 00:13:40,034
Oh, yes they are very nice. Yes, I'm sure.
237
00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:42,629
Look, Madge, I must dash,
I've heard another...
238
00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:46,314
In a ward of his own?
Oh, yes, that's so much nicer.
239
00:13:51,040 --> 00:13:52,713
Oh, yes, quite.
240
00:13:53,480 --> 00:13:56,075
Look, I must dash, really.
241
00:13:56,480 --> 00:13:59,359
Madge, I think someone else has been...
What?
242
00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:02,391
Yes. Yes, of course I can.
243
00:14:02,560 --> 00:14:05,837
I can give you a lift. Right, yeah.
244
00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:09,113
Yes, yes, 3:00 outside Lewis's. Bye.
245
00:14:10,480 --> 00:14:13,837
Mumsy, it's just as well I looked,
Hugo is dead.
246
00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:15,600
Hugo is dead?
247
00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:17,433
Yes, I didn't see who did it again.
248
00:14:17,560 --> 00:14:19,950
I was talking to him one minute
and suddenly I looked under the bed
249
00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:22,549
to see if there was a trap door leading to
a secret passage underneath the house,
250
00:14:22,640 --> 00:14:24,074
and I heard a shot.
251
00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:26,556
And I looked up and there he was, Hugo,
252
00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:29,878
Dada's eldest son who
stood to inherit everything, dead.
253
00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:31,714
Definitely dead.
254
00:14:32,160 --> 00:14:34,311
Shall I call the police, milady?
255
00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:36,677
It may not be necessary, Manners.
256
00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:38,792
No, I don't think there's
anything the police can do.
257
00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:41,958
- Waste of the rate-payers money, really.
- Will you leave us for a moment, Manners?
258
00:14:42,040 --> 00:14:43,952
Yes, milady.
259
00:14:45,160 --> 00:14:47,231
- Charles?
- Yes, Mumsy-pie?
260
00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:49,960
I'd rather keep this
in the family, if you don't mind.
261
00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:51,554
Oh, yes, I quite agree.
You don't want any...
262
00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:55,840
So be completely honest with me.
Did you kill them, Charles?
263
00:14:56,320 --> 00:14:58,039
No, of course I didn't, Mumsy!
264
00:14:58,400 --> 00:14:59,675
You killed Aunt Mabel, dear.
265
00:15:00,280 --> 00:15:02,556
- That was ages ago.
266
00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:04,632
What was that?
267
00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:10,911
Oh, dear, who on earth can that be?
It's half-past twelve.
268
00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:12,719
Jehovah's Witnesses?
269
00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:17,913
- Oh!
- Dora!
270
00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:33,634
Charles?
271
00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:39,156
Charles, dear, have you been murdered?
272
00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:41,239
Uh, no, Mumsy.
273
00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:44,239
Just cleaning one of Pater's
old 12 bores and it went off.
274
00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:48,110
Oh dear, it gave me quite a shock.
Thank God it didn't hit anyone.
275
00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:51,990
Uh... Well, it did hit someone, Mumsy.
276
00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:54,396
- Who, dear?
- Uh, Hugo.
277
00:15:54,480 --> 00:15:56,358
But Hugo is dead already, dear.
278
00:15:56,680 --> 00:15:58,637
Yes, yes. That was the lucky thing.
279
00:15:58,720 --> 00:16:00,632
Oh, well, do take care, dear.
280
00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:03,631
If I were you, I should put them away!
281
00:16:04,240 --> 00:16:05,833
Who, Manners and Dora?
282
00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:07,872
No, the guns, dear.
283
00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:09,713
Oh!
284
00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:13,554
Frightened of the police, eh, Mumsy?
285
00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:18,199
No, of course not, dear, I just don't want
anyone else to be murdered, that's all.
286
00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:22,119
Who, uh...
287
00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:25,513
Who were you ringing up
this morning, Mumsy?
288
00:16:26,520 --> 00:16:28,477
If you must know,
I was phoning up Dr Farson.
289
00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:30,153
Who is Dr Farson?
290
00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:33,597
Dr Farson is a very
clever doctor from Inverness.
291
00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:35,837
And he happens to be
an old friend of your father.
292
00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:38,119
He's agreed to see Dora
293
00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:41,796
and perhaps help find out
who killed your father and poor Hugo.
294
00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:43,992
Oh, Mumsy, it doesn't matter who did it.
295
00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:46,476
The fact is they're both dead,
Hugo definitely.
296
00:16:46,560 --> 00:16:49,678
I think we ought to open the will and see
how much money and land we're all getting,
297
00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:51,314
so I can go back to London on Monday.
298
00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:53,551
I know how busy you are, Charles, darling.
299
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:57,755
But I can't actually let all these
murders go by without doing something.
300
00:16:57,920 --> 00:17:01,277
Dr Farson is very clever man
and, what's more, he'll be discreet about it.
301
00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:03,832
Now please go
and put some things on, dear.
302
00:17:06,560 --> 00:17:10,440
Well, he'll only say they've been murdered,
and you know what that means.
303
00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:13,440
Well, let's see, dear.
We may find it isn't murder.
304
00:17:14,040 --> 00:17:16,635
They might have fallen
on the bullets or something.
305
00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:21,078
No, I know. They'll all look at me
as though I murdered them.
306
00:17:21,920 --> 00:17:23,036
Just like they did with Aunt Mabel.
307
00:17:23,480 --> 00:17:25,597
Well, you did murder Aunt Mabel, dear.
308
00:17:25,680 --> 00:17:28,752
There you go, Mumsy.
Even you're holding it against me.
309
00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:31,400
I'm not holding it against you, dear.
310
00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:33,518
Now please go and get ready.
311
00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:36,951
I'm coming in as soon
as I finish this dreadful weeding.
312
00:17:39,120 --> 00:17:41,760
I think we ought to bury them
in the garden and get on and read the will.
313
00:17:41,880 --> 00:17:45,669
We can't just do that sort of thing, dear.
You need coroners and funerals and things.
314
00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:48,912
- Why? Why do you need funerals?
- People like funerals, dear.
315
00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:52,078
- We didn't have a funeral for Aunt Mabel.
- We all know why that was, dear.
316
00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:54,439
Why? Why did we not
have a funeral for Aunt Mabel?
317
00:17:54,560 --> 00:17:56,631
- We couldn't find her, dear.
- We found most of her.
318
00:17:56,760 --> 00:18:00,436
Now, Charles, please, I'm not going to have
to speak to you again, please, really.
319
00:18:00,560 --> 00:18:03,951
- I'm going to open the will.
- You can't do that, Charles, dear.
320
00:18:04,040 --> 00:18:06,350
- Why not?
- It's in London at the solicitor's.
321
00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:09,480
- All right, I'll give them a ring.
- Oh, you...
322
00:18:10,120 --> 00:18:11,679
You're worse than your father.
323
00:18:17,600 --> 00:18:22,800
Charles, dear, when I write to the
Telegraph, do you think I should say
324
00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:26,237
"passed peacefully away"
or just "passed away"?
325
00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:28,554
"Shot away"?
326
00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:32,839
"Suddenly", perhaps that's better. Yes.
327
00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:36,470
"Chiddingfold, Sir Clive,
suddenly at Moorstones Manor,
328
00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:38,870
"on February the 19th, aged 87."
329
00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:41,676
That's rather beautiful, isn't it?
Nice and simple.
330
00:18:42,360 --> 00:18:44,920
"Suddenly shot clean through the head
at Moorstones Manor"?
331
00:18:45,120 --> 00:18:47,635
Charles dear, it's four pounds
a line now, you know.
332
00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:51,195
I rang the solicitors this morning, Mumsy.
333
00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:53,078
Did you know Hugo has
left all his money to Dora?
334
00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:55,397
How about "suddenly in the night"?
335
00:18:56,240 --> 00:18:59,597
He left her £14,000 and 17 cars, Mumsy.
336
00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:00,716
Poor Dora.
337
00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:02,359
Yes, perhaps I better pop up and see her.
338
00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:05,160
Charles, dear, you will be careful,
she is in shock.
339
00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:09,071
Yes, I'm only going to pop up
and see if she's any worse, that's all.
340
00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:12,398
- Charles?
- Yes, Mumsy?
341
00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:14,360
What's that?
342
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:18,279
Oh! Um, just cleaning it, Mumsy.
343
00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:20,551
I thought I'd finish cleaning it
while I was chatting to Dora.
344
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:23,031
Well, don't point it at her, darling.
345
00:19:23,360 --> 00:19:25,795
Oh, no, Mumsy. I know not to do that.
346
00:19:33,120 --> 00:19:34,873
"Very suddenly in the night."
347
00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:40,635
- All right, Manners?
- Yes, milady.
348
00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:43,517
Dr Farson.
349
00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:45,711
I'm Lady Chiddingfold.
350
00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:47,832
Welcome to Moorstones Manor.
351
00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:52,429
Your husband told me so much about you.
352
00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:56,793
It really is most kind of you, Dr Farson,
to come all this way from Inverness.
353
00:19:56,880 --> 00:20:00,112
Madam, had I realised how beautiful
my hostess was to be,
354
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,954
I would have crossed the seven seas
themselves to get here.
355
00:20:03,040 --> 00:20:05,475
I'd have fought wild beasts
and flown through time itself...
356
00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:07,358
- Charles!
357
00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:08,750
Sorry!
358
00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:12,117
That's Charles, I'm afraid.
He has a thing about doctors.
359
00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:14,078
Oh, yes.
360
00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:18,390
Hello, Charles.
Your father and I were in the army together.
361
00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:23,639
Sorry, just cleaning it. Fragment of bullet
got stuck at the end of the barrel.
362
00:20:24,280 --> 00:20:26,158
Dear, is your shoulder all right?
363
00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:28,232
Don't worry about me.
364
00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:32,440
It is as nothing compared to the pain
I feel in my heart.
365
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:34,957
Can we go upstairs to an empty bedroom?
366
00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:39,118
I love you. I can't wait.
I've got everything.
367
00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:49,517
Oh, this is my son Charles.
He's the one who's not dead.
368
00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:52,719
I was saying what a very beautiful,
beautiful woman your mother is.
369
00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:58,194
Uh, Charles, will you take Dr Farson
up to Dora's room, please?
370
00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:01,269
- Dora?
- Yes, my son's fiancée.
371
00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:03,272
She was lost on the moor.
372
00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:06,189
She arrived in a hysterical state last night.
373
00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:10,191
I don't think there is much the doctor can do,
Mumsy. She's slipping away fast.
374
00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:12,039
In fact, she's probably dead by now.
375
00:21:12,120 --> 00:21:14,919
- I think she's got pneumonia or cholera.
- Off you go.
376
00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:24,396
I will be back.
377
00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:28,150
Yes, when you finish,
there are some other people to see.
378
00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:38,593
How was she?
379
00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:44,112
She is in a state of severe shock,
Lady Chiddingfold.
380
00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:45,953
But I think she'll recover.
381
00:21:46,360 --> 00:21:48,511
She had some traumatic experience
last night
382
00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:50,273
which she still finds difficult to describe.
383
00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:52,314
Is there anything you can do?
384
00:21:53,120 --> 00:21:55,760
Well, I rubbed some Vick on her chest.
385
00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:58,560
- Did that help?
- Yes.
386
00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:00,994
Yes, it did. Thank you.
387
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:04,071
Now, if we just go in here...
388
00:22:07,360 --> 00:22:09,397
This is my eldest son, Hugo.
389
00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:10,675
Oh...
390
00:22:11,960 --> 00:22:13,917
Oh, I see he's been shot quite recently.
391
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:16,037
He was shot last night
and then again this morning.
392
00:22:16,120 --> 00:22:17,600
- Oh, I see.
- By mistake.
393
00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:19,639
Now, he's dead, isn't he, Doctor?
394
00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:21,752
- I mean, he's not going to recover, is he?
- Oh, Charles.
395
00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:24,679
No, no, no. He's quite severely dead.
396
00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:27,839
I think I'll go and sit with Dora.
397
00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:30,077
Why don't you stay with us, Charles dear?
398
00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:32,751
No, I think someone ought
to be with her, Mumsy.
399
00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:34,678
During her last hours.
400
00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:39,917
And over here is my husband.
401
00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:46,518
- He's dead.
- Yes.
402
00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:50,270
- Shot.
- But can you, for instance, say where from?
403
00:22:51,920 --> 00:22:53,912
- I know what you're thinking.
- What?
404
00:22:54,560 --> 00:22:56,279
You're thinking I have a false lip.
405
00:22:56,640 --> 00:22:58,757
- No, I wasn't.
- What's wrong with a false lip?
406
00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:01,073
People have false arms, false legs.
407
00:23:01,240 --> 00:23:02,993
Absolutely nothing, I'm sure.
408
00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:07,192
All right, I do have a false lip.
It's obvious, isn't it?
409
00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:10,356
- That's what you're thinking.
- It isn't obvious, Dr Farson.
410
00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:12,272
Of course it's obvious!
411
00:23:12,520 --> 00:23:15,957
Juts out when the mouth's closed.
It doesn't fit cleanly under the other one.
412
00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:18,479
And it can't withstand hot soup.
413
00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:21,399
Oh!
414
00:23:21,520 --> 00:23:23,796
Oh, I was a fool.
415
00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:27,199
I thought I'd take the cheap one.
416
00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:30,835
For an extra £200
I could have had a new lip.
417
00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:36,120
Honestly, Dr Farson, I really don't
know which lip it is that's false.
418
00:23:36,840 --> 00:23:39,196
To think that our love should end like this.
419
00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:41,920
I think you're rather over-dramatising
the situation, Dr Farson.
420
00:23:42,040 --> 00:23:44,111
I haven't seen you for 12 years.
421
00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:46,954
Ah, but I have seen you, Lady Chiddingfold.
422
00:23:47,440 --> 00:23:49,511
I have passed this house
many times before.
423
00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:52,915
I have seen you at the window
and in the garden.
424
00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:55,953
My heart has been bewitched by you.
425
00:23:57,480 --> 00:24:00,393
- Oh, Lady Chiddingfold.
- Oh, my husband.
426
00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:02,512
- Forget your husband.
- You're supposed to be examining him.
427
00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:04,114
There's no point. I know he's dead.
428
00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:07,677
He died with a bullet lodged in between
the sternum and the cryovascular nerve,
429
00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:09,234
fired from this gun.
430
00:24:09,320 --> 00:24:11,232
Dr Farson, you?
431
00:24:11,320 --> 00:24:13,357
How do you think I got here
so quickly from Inverness?
432
00:24:13,480 --> 00:24:15,312
Because I've been
watching this house for weeks.
433
00:24:15,440 --> 00:24:20,515
Waiting, waiting! Just so as to make you
mine by destroying all around you.
434
00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:23,240
Mine and mine alone. Just you and me.
435
00:24:24,120 --> 00:24:25,952
And then... And then this...
436
00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:28,833
bloody cheap lip lets me down.
437
00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:31,594
I love you. I've always loved you.
438
00:24:31,800 --> 00:24:34,076
Since that black day
you married him instead of me.
439
00:24:34,760 --> 00:24:37,992
Dr Farson,
I can't bear being touched!
440
00:24:39,120 --> 00:24:43,717
Lady Chiddingfold, if you reject me,
no one else shall have you.
441
00:24:44,600 --> 00:24:46,910
All right, you, drop that gun.
442
00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:50,596
- Oh, Manners, thank God you...
- Stay where you are, milady.
443
00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:53,511
Or you'll get what I gave your husband.
444
00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:56,277
- Manners?
- Yes.
445
00:24:56,640 --> 00:24:58,199
Manners, milady.
446
00:24:58,720 --> 00:25:03,078
Your polite, humble, obsequious
little lap dog, Manners.
447
00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:05,197
Manners, who opens doors
448
00:25:05,280 --> 00:25:08,239
and tells his master and his mistress
when the telephone rings.
449
00:25:09,120 --> 00:25:12,158
Well, that's why I decided
it was time someone waited on me,
450
00:25:12,320 --> 00:25:14,835
someone listened to me for a change.
451
00:25:14,920 --> 00:25:16,991
And that's why I killed him.
452
00:25:17,080 --> 00:25:19,754
And that's why I killed Master Hugo.
453
00:25:20,360 --> 00:25:23,034
Because I'd had
about as much as I could take!
454
00:25:23,440 --> 00:25:25,159
Don't believe him. I killed them.
455
00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:28,039
- No, I killed them!
- I killed them!
456
00:25:28,120 --> 00:25:30,316
I killed them and I'll prove it to you.
457
00:25:32,360 --> 00:25:36,434
Oh, my God! Charles!
Charles is upstairs with Dora!
458
00:25:37,040 --> 00:25:39,760
He was supposed to be looking after her.
Charles!
459
00:25:41,360 --> 00:25:43,670
Charles, what have you...
460
00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:46,879
Dora?
461
00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:49,399
It's all right, Lady Chiddingfold.
462
00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:51,593
I can look after myself.
463
00:25:52,080 --> 00:25:53,833
I looked after Hugo after all.
464
00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:56,276
Oh, not you, Dora.
465
00:25:56,680 --> 00:25:59,752
Does it surprise you
that your idiot son's fiancée
466
00:25:59,840 --> 00:26:02,435
wasn't the demure little girl
you wanted her to be?
467
00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:03,590
She's lying.
468
00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:05,273
- I killed them.
- I killed them!
469
00:26:05,360 --> 00:26:09,115
I'm up to here with cars
and carburettors and camshafts.
470
00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:12,070
I've borne it for six years.
471
00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:16,234
I walked back here 40 miles,
Lady Chiddingfold,
472
00:26:16,320 --> 00:26:20,599
took a gun from the gun case while
you were all stuffing your fat faces,
473
00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:22,951
listening to that pig of a husband of yours.
474
00:26:23,040 --> 00:26:26,431
And I got rid of them!
I got rid of them both!
475
00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:29,760
- Forever.
- No, you didn't. I did.
476
00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:30,990
I did.
477
00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:33,993
Don't believe them, my little rosebud.
It was me. Honestly.
478
00:26:34,120 --> 00:26:35,156
It was me.
479
00:26:35,520 --> 00:26:37,830
It was not, you bastard, it was me.
480
00:26:37,920 --> 00:26:39,593
It was me!
481
00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:43,835
You couldn't have done it.
You're all talk.
482
00:26:44,280 --> 00:26:46,237
I killed Aunt Mabel. Remember that.
483
00:26:47,040 --> 00:26:49,600
- I killed Aunt Mabel.
- Oh, come off it.
484
00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:51,717
Everyone knows I killed Aunt Mabel.
485
00:26:51,800 --> 00:26:53,712
Oh, yes, he did kill Aunt Mabel.
486
00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:57,191
They're all lying. I killed them
because I wanted to have you all to myself.
487
00:26:57,280 --> 00:26:58,999
I stood to gain much more than you!
488
00:26:59,360 --> 00:27:03,070
The entire estate, money, wealth, fortune!
489
00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:06,915
But I had the classic motive -
brooding resentment.
490
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:12,075
Festering over a prolonged period,
suddenly erupting in a holocaust of violence.
491
00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:15,320
You couldn't hate a flea, servant.
492
00:27:15,400 --> 00:27:16,800
Don't say that.
493
00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:20,032
You can answer the door,
you can serve the dinner,
494
00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:23,149
but you couldn't kill a garden worm.
495
00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:24,879
Oh, no?
496
00:27:27,440 --> 00:27:28,715
Oh!
497
00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:30,958
Well, anyone can do that.
498
00:28:05,320 --> 00:28:08,074
- The telephone.
- Oh, yes, thank you, Manners.
499
00:28:09,680 --> 00:28:10,955
Oh... Hello?
500
00:28:11,720 --> 00:28:13,359
Oh, hello, Madge.
501
00:28:14,120 --> 00:28:16,271
Oh, has he? Oh, good.
502
00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:19,954
Look, Madge, I really haven't got a moment.
503
00:28:20,040 --> 00:28:21,713
Can I ring you back?
504
00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:26,633
No. No, I didn't know
you were in love with him.
505
00:28:28,280 --> 00:28:32,194
You what?
Oh, no, Madge, you can't have done.
506
00:28:33,040 --> 00:28:36,477
No, Madge, really, four people
have already confessed.
507
00:28:36,560 --> 00:28:38,517
- There isn't a...
508
00:28:38,600 --> 00:28:40,478
Madge! Madge!
509
00:28:55,720 --> 00:28:57,473
Oh dear.
38613
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