Original subtitles

[Kourtney] Tonight on Keeping Up with the Kardashians...

What is that?

"Kendall Jenner modeling photos"?

Oh, boy.

[Kris] I think it's really great that Kendall wants to model.

But I have never seen

Kylie this jealous before.

You guys always favor Kendall and it's so annoying!

[Bruce] Your day will come.

I really just wanted to spend time with my sisters on this trip.

It doesn't even matter what we're doing,

as long as we're doing it together.

[all] Cheers!

I think I'm getting like, [bleep] up.

Stop.

-Kourtney! -[screams]

[Kourtney] I'm just over Kim and Khlo�'s BS.

Obviously, we can't do vacations like this anymore.

-Our lives are different. -So it [bleep] sucks!

You're having a baby. She's married.

We shouldn't have come in the first place.

[Khlo�] Kourtney!

-Oh, my God, Kourtney! -This is so cute in here.

Literally, it is almost like,

a baby's room.

[rattles]

[stuffed toy plays "Old MacDonald Had A Farm"]

[both] * Ee i ee i o *

[stuffed toy makes boing sound]

I love this.

[Kourtney] Look what Scott bought the other day.

[Kim] Oh, my God.

[Khlo�] Scott is losing his mind, but okay.

I just have no concept of what it's like...

to have a baby.

We're never gonna be able just to get up and go to like,

Cabo, like, how we used to always go to Mexico.

Like, I don't know, just it's not the same.

I know that when my baby comes,

things are definitely gonna be different.

And I won't have as much time to spend with my sisters.

I just feel like,

we should go do something.

Like, we're not gonna have another chance.

-I think it's really important... -[toy squeaks]

...to go on a sister trip before the baby comes.

'Cause, it's my one last time.

[Kim] Where should we go?

Why?

We can't fly, you freak!

Palm Springs, San Diego, Santa Barbara...

-That's easy. -Santa Barbara is always close.

[Kim] Santa Boobra.

[Kourtney] I haven't been to Santa Barbara in ten years.

[laughs] Santa Boobra.

[all laugh]

We all know and understand how much Kourt's life is gonna change.

She's gonna be a soccer mom and driving a van.

And we want to just kind of have fun

and let loose and just be how we were before Kourtney was pregnant.

Let's go to a winery!

'Cause I could drink?

It was a joke.

[laughing sarcastically]

Your turn.

Ha-ha.

[whistling theme music playing]

[upbeat rock music playing]

[Kendall] I made you something.

You made me something?

-Yes. -What is that?

"Kendall Jenner modeling photos"?

Modeling what?

That's gorgeous!

-Look at that, you look gorgeous! -[Bruce] What do you mean? Modeling what?

-What is this? -These pictures are beautiful.

[Bruce] Why? What do you want to do, Kendall?

[Kendall] Model.

Oh, boy.

[Kendall] Ever since I was seven years old,

I've always dreamed of modeling.

So I decided to put a book together to show it to my mom.

[Bruce] She's 14 years old.

Oh, and you look like Kim here.

[Kylie] Kendall does not look like Kim.

Kendall's actually talked about

wanting to be a model for a really long time.

But I just didn't know she was this serious about it.

If this is what Kendall really wants to do then...

I'm on board and I'll get the word out.

-I can make some calls. -You're young.

If you want to help her model, you can help her model,

but it's just gonna get to her head.

And all of us

are gonna be in her little...

throne path and listening to her.

We're gonna be like, "Oh, my God, you're right,

you're, like, the coolest in the family 'cause you model at when you're 14!"

That is not very nice.

What's gotten into her?

[woman] Welcome to the Four Seasons.

[all] Thank you.

[Kourtney] Santa Barbara is so amazing.

I really want this to be one vacation that we'll all remember.

It doesn't even matter what we're doing, as long we're doing it together.

[Kim coughs]

We're gonna rub Vicks on Kim's chest,

and put her to bed.

-What about a Vicks vagina mask? -[coughs]

-I do a mayonnaise mask... -She puts mayonnaise on her vagina

-because... -It makes your inside shine

like the top of the Chrysler building.

That's a nice... That's a nice vision there.

When Kourt starts talking about mayo

on her vajayjay,

that's when I know she must be thrilled

to be in Santa Barbara.

[man] Is there anything else I can do for you?

Just a jar of mayonnaise.

-[woman] Hi. -[Kourtney] Hi, how are you?

-Three of you today? -Yes.

I definitely don't want this to be one of those vacations

where we just sit around and lay in the hotel room all day.

I think we need to plan out all of our activities,

so we can get as much in a possible.

[Kourtney] This is right up Khlo�'s alley.

Horseback riding! I love horseback riding.

[Kim] Me too. Let's do that.

Are you gonna be okay to horseback ride?

I'm sure some pregnant women have ridden a horse. I'm sure it's fine.

Pocahontas did!

[line ringing]

[man] Circle Bar B Stables, this is Doug.

Hi, Doug, um...

I have a question, my sister's eight and a half months pregnant.

Can she ride or no?

[man] No, I don't even... The liability is too high for that, honey.

Oh.

Okay, thank you so much.

-[man] You're welcome, honey. -Bye.

He's so nice. He calls me "honey."

[Kim] So we can't go.

No, you guys were so excited.

You, like, go and I'm chilling,

-and then we'll do something fun tonight. -[Khlo�] Take a bath.

I really wish the first thing we were doing in Santa Barbara

was something all three of us could do.

But I don't want to prevent them from having fun.

So, I think they should still horseback ride.

Call us if you need us.

-Love you, be safe. -Love you.

-Enjoy the horsies. -Thanks.

[bleep]

Hi.

-[man] Hi, there. -How are you?

How are you doing? I'm doing great.

-Welcome to the Circle Bar B. -Khlo�.

-Nice to meet you. -Khlo�, nice to have you.

-We're so excited. -Hi.

-How are you? -Hi, Kim.

-Nice to meet you. -Nice to meet you.

Are you guys ready to get on some ponies and take a ride up the hill?

Yeah, we're excited.

[Khlo�] I don't like this.

[Kim] I know, it hurts my butt.

[Khlo�] With all that padding, it still hurts?

-[man laughs] -[Khlo�] Look!

[Kim] That is so sick.

That's like the size of my, like, whole leg.

-[Khlo�] The size of Kourtney's baby. -That's so sick.

[Kim] This is so pretty.

I feel bad Kourt's not here now,

but it's so pretty.

We should have dragged her on a wagon.

We should have.

[Kourtney] The whole point of this trip is to spend time together with my sisters.

I almost wish that I never told them to go horseback riding.

-[Kris] Kendall? -Yeah?

-Where you guys? -In the kitchen.

-[Bruce] She's home. -[Kris] So guess who just called me.

-Who? -Wilhelmina modeling agency.

They would love to have a meeting with you.

You're kidding!

[Kris] I spent the last two days calling everybody I know,

so I can make sure that I set Kendall up with the best modeling agency possible.

This is actually a really big deal.

I am so surprised this is happening so fast for her.

But she is 14 years old.

[Kris] I mean, it's a good, wholesome...

modeling that she could gain a lot of experience from.

It's not like a Victoria Secret commercial.

[chuckles]

-I mean, come on. -Don't even go there.

[Kris] Well, I'm just saying.

Kylie, aren't you excited for your sister?

Yeah.

[Kris] I think it's gonna be really great, Kendall.

I think you're gonna be an amazing model

because you're, like, 32 feet tall.

So what's not to love?

[Bruce] Girls, I want to talk to Mom.

-[Kris] Uh-oh. -[Bruce] Love you.

What did I do now?

Love you, Kylie.

What now?

I'm concerned of how they're going to handle it.

Remember a million years ago with Kimberly,

when she did that, like, commercial?

[Kris] Mm-hmm.

[Bruce] Back in the old days when Kimberly got into modeling,

Kourtney was so competitive.

I mean, these two girls would go after each other.

I don't want that to happen to Kendall and Kylie.

I think it's all in how they are... inside.

-And Kendall is not that girl. -Totally agree.

I want you to know that I'm gonna keep my eye on this.

Well, you do that, Sherlock.

Finally, a kid that can pay for her own college!

Uh-huh.

She'll probably spend it on a car.

-[Khlo�] Shall we call Kourt? -[Kim] No, the sun is about to set.

It'll take her forever.

This is so bizarre.

Why would someone just leave a boat here?

It's like the Titanic.

[Khlo� chuckles] Except ugly.

So what if you're like,

"I'm on top of the world!"

Like in Titanic.

[Khlo�] That was so clever.

[Kim] This is so pretty.

[line ringing]

[Khlo�] Hello?

[Kourtney] How was horseback riding?

[Khlo�] So much fun.

We took a little stroll on the beach.

And we saw dolphins.

[Kourtney] Come on.

I'm like, sitting here by myself.

I'm sorry.

[Khlo�] We're on our way back now.

[Kourtney] I mean, don't do me any favors.

She hung up on me.

-She did? -Yeah.

[Khlo�] Hello?

So you decided to go walk on the beach and not invite me?

[Kim] Kourtney, we were out there and there was like, the sunset.

It was, like, about to set.

We had, like, a few minutes.

[Kourtney] Yeah, but, I've been sitting here. I wanna see Santa Barbara too.

[Kim] I'm sorry, Kourt.

Do you want mayonnaise?

Can we put mayonnaise on your stomach?

Probably helps with stretch marks.

-Let's see. -No!

Let's put mayonnaise on it.

-No. -Yeah.

-No, thanks. -Yeah.

I'm pretty annoyed about them ditching me to go to the beach.

But I'm putting it behind me for now

and hoping that tonight will be better.

We could do something fun tonight.

[Khlo�] Okay.

I wanna, like, sightsee tomorrow.

[Khlo�] That'll be fun.

Do you guys want to do that?

-[both] Yeah. -[waiter] Good evening, ladies.

I'm gonna kind of throw some things together for you,

about three different options.

We do a three, three ounce pours of wine.

I don't like wine too much.

We can also build a Champagne One for you if you like.

I typically only like dessert wine.

[waiter] I'll put something together for you.

[Kim] I don't normally drink but...

I've always wondered what a wine tasting was like.

I've always wanted to try it.

Cheers to our sensational...

Santa Barbara.

-Sensational Santa Barbara Sisters. -[glasses clink]

-Yeah. -Word!

Stop!

There's nothing more annoying to me while I'm pregnant

than the smell of alcohol and drunk people.

I think I'm getting, like, [bleep] up.

[Kim] Oh, my God,

they actually brought us some mayo?

[Kourtney] Are you getting wild?

Whoo! I'm getting wild and crazy!

I'm popping bottles and [bleep].

[Kim] You are extra annoying.

[laughing]

Oh, God! You're gonna make...

Kourtney!

[screams]

Don't annoy me, I'm going to bed.

-Come on, come here. -No!

This is my only pajamas!

I'm not in the mood to play "mayonnaise mask

on your vagina" with Khlo�.

Especially while she's wasted.

Ew, that smells! I'm locking my door!

Okay, Kimmy! Spread your legs!

[Khlo� laughing]

[Kim] Kourtney, wake up!

[Khlo� continues laughing]

[Kim] Kourtney!

[Kourtney] So this trip hasn't gone as planned so far.

But it's a new day,

and my sisters have promised to go to breakfast and shopping with me.

Hello?

Come on!

I've been like, I'm all dressed and ready to go.

I thought we were going to breakfast.

[mumbling]

Oh, come on!

-Ugh! -I'm just so drowsy, I can't even wake up.

Ugh! Well, I'm not gonna waste my day.

Do they even realize how selfish they're being?

It's my last trip to hang out with them,

and to do things together,

and Kim and Khlo� just don't get it.

Ugh! Get up, you losers!

Seriously.

Right through there.

I'm really nervous for my interview with Wilhelmina

and I don't know what I'm gonna say.

Well, you're certainly very photogenic.

Whenever my mom says we're doing a photo shoot,

even with the whole family just for, like, a family portrait,

I'm always so excited.

Why don't we take some...

We'll take some Polaroids.

We will email them off to a photographer of our choice.

And then, set up a test shoot.

Yeah, are your friends gonna be jealous?

Um...

-Her sister will probably be more... -Really, Kylie?

...annoyed than...

her friends.

I am so proud of Kendall right now.

She is so young,

and yet, she's handling herself so mature,

and so professionally.

Okay, so just be really natural and cute.

-[Charlotte] She's a natural. -[all laugh]

[Khlo�] Hello?

Sleeping beauties decided to wake up.

Did you guys just get up?

[Khlo�] Like, 30 minutes ago.

Exciting.

I feel pretty good. I'm rested.

We are on our sister vacation.

Let's go, let's go do something.

Yeah, what do you wanna do?

I mean, let's go do something together, I don't wanna sit here.

[Khlo�] Let's go to the beach.

Perfect, let's go to the beach.

Hi. We want to rent one of those...

-Fun bikes. -With the awning.

[Khlo�] Oh, you have to help me push!

Wait, you guys, I'm really gonna fall out of this.

Here.

I mean, this is annoying.

[Kim] I wanna sit in the front.

[Khlo�] My legs are already tired.

Wait, it's so cold over here.

[Kourtney] We finally have a chance to do something together,

and Khlo� and Kim won't stop complaining.

[Khlo�] Like, I'm exhausted.

[Kourtney] Let's just go back, you guys are really annoying.

There's only so much complaining I can handle.

[Khlo�] Okay, it's cold anyway.

Let's just go to the car.

So far, they've done nothing but annoy me,

and I'm just over Kim and Khlo�'s BS.

[Khlo�] No, I'll be home tomorrow.

Okay, love you too.

Bye.

[whines]

I miss him.

Well, I'm not staying here tonight, so...

[Kim] Why?

Why? That's ridiculous.

'Cause this sucks!

What do you mean, this sucks?

I just would rather go home.

I guess let's just go back to the hotel,

pack our stuff and get on the road.

Okay.

[Kris] You can't eat all those cookies.

You haven't even had a regular meal yet, honey.

If you're gonna be a model, you've gotta have good nutrition.

You know what I'm saying?

[Kylie] Mother!

Hey, honey.

I made a book of pictures.

A book of pictures?

Yes, I did.

Okay, well, before we look at your book of pictures,

can you ask your sister how her meeting went today?

We're so excited.

Well, don't you wanna pay attention to my book, like you did to Kendall's?

She's just trying to take my shine

and that's not even cool.

[Kylie] I wanted to model the day you started wanting to model!

[Kendall] Of course, you did! Of course, you wanted to!

[Kylie] Yeah, I did!

Girls!

[Kendall and Kylie arguing]

Hold it! Stop!

You're squealing in my ear!

Then back away!

No! Don't talk to me like that!

[Bruce] Kylie, don't yell at your mother!

Get your book and go.

-Your day will come, just not today. -Honestly,

you guys always favor Kendall and it's so annoying!

[Bruce] Your day will come.

-Kylie! -Stop with your attitude!

You're a little brat!

[Bruce] You're grounded.

[Kourtney] Come on, guys, let's go!

[Kim] I got my stuff, we're ready.

Okay, it's nice to know you guys obviously don't give a [bleep].

Don't give a [bleep] about what? You said, let's go.

What are you talking about?

I'm here to do...

Have a last weekend with you guys before this baby comes.

Yeah, but we don't know what to do.

We came here to be together.

-You're the one... -And all you've done is been together.

You two.

And I've been doing everything by myself.

Okay, you're the one that brought the brochures.

You're the one that wanted to go horseback riding.

-So we called together. -Right, and I can't!

It's not my fault they wouldn't let me go!

But then you told us to go!

Obviously, we can't do vacations like this anymore.

-And I thought... -Well, it is different.

-What? -What do you want us to do?

-Yeah, it's different. -Our lives are different.

-So it [bleep] sucks! -You're having a baby.

She's married.

Like, our lives aren't the same.

I don't want to do this anymore when it's not fun.

Like, we shouldn't have come in the first place.

Maybe my expectations for this trip

were a little high.

I just feel like it's never gonna be the same again.

[Khlo�] It's like an apology present,

'cause I know I was a little out of line.

We wear them every day. It's like a friendship thing.

A sisterly thing.

[Kim] I don't care what they say about me.

You know what I mean? But if they say it about you...

I got your back, honey, anytime you need it.

Stop.

[laughter]

Group hug!

Um, guys...

Oh! You're breaking the silence.

We could talk.

Well, I really have to pee.

[laughs]

-So... -Now the silence is broken.

Oh, what else am I supposed to do?

I have to pee.

When my baby comes, I'm not sure

how my relationship's gonna be with my sisters,

and I feel like I was using this trip

as a way to hold on to our bond.

-This is my last... -[Khlo�] Hurrah?

...trip, you know, with you guys,

and I think I just put so much pressure on it

that it had to be perfect.

Yeah.

I'm just not good at change,

and I just want to...

make sure that no matter what happens,

that we all, you know, stay just as close

and the same as we've always been.

I think we'll grow even closer.

You just have to give it time.

And when the baby is here,

do you know how much closer we're gonna be?

-Like, are you kidding? -[Kim] Yeah.

It'll be different in a good way.

And I think it's gonna be different at first.

Well, I love you, guys.

We love you.

Are you kidding?

Sisters forever!

Sisters forever!

Can I get an amen up in this bitch!

[Kim] Hi, Kylie.

Where's Mom?

Her and Kendall went to...

mom's friend's house.

How come you didn't go?

Because I'm grounded.

Why are you grounded?

Me and Kendall were fighting

and then, we were both yelling

and then, she just grounded me and not Kendall.

She always favors Kendall.

She does not favor Kendall.

-No, she does. -Everyone in this family

always thinks that Mom favors someone else.

I mean, we always fight, we always make up.

Doesn't mean you don't love your sisters.

Like, when I was doing the perfume.

Like, Khlo� wanted one, you know?

But, you know,

it just so happened that they gave me the deal.

Khlo� would never want me to not do my perfume.

It makes me feel better that this is normal for sisters to fight

and jealousy,

and be a competition towards each other.

I remember my first runway show,

Khlo� and Kourtney were right in the front row.

Khlo� always wanted to be a model.

You know?

I'm sure she wanted to do it.

And she was in the front row standing up, cheering for me.

And that's what you should do for Kendall.

You know?

Are you excited, Kendall?

Yeah, I'm kind of nervous.

But once you start doing it,

you're gonna feel so natural in front of the camera.

I promise.

-Hey, Kyls. -Hey.

Are you excited about today?

Mm-hmm.

It's a big day for her.

This is like her first photo shoot.

I just wanted to say that I'm sorry.

Thanks, Kylie.

And I love you.

You're really being sweet. I want to cry.

* I'm causing trouble *

* Having so much fun *

* Life's too short... *

Yay, Kendall!

* It's all right *

* No, I don't regret a single day *

[Kylie] She's growing up so fast.

[Khlo�] Oh, my God. She looks so beautiful.

Oh, maybe your baby will be that cute.

I'm not afraid of change anymore.

I think that change can be good.

And my sisters and I will always have each other.

We're sisters, we'll always be together forever.

[Khlo�] Next on Keeping Up with the Kardashians...

[Khlo�] I kind of like the idea of a sexy little video.

[laughs]

No!

Turn it off!

[Kris] I had never wanted sex

more than when I was pregnant.

-Ew! -Ew, Mom!

I'm scared sex is gonna hurt the baby.

So, are we gonna do it or what?

Don't make fun of me over it.

You're such a douche!