Original subtitles

[dog barks]

[Kim] Rob!

-"Rob!" -Can you play catch over there?

Seriously.

Ooh-ooh. Ooh-ooh.

-Rob, it's not funny. -What?

[Rob] It's the best thing in the world to annoy Kim.

Especially went it comes to, like, animals.

She has never ever liked dogs.

You literally got me all wet... and Gabbana's tail!

I know for a fact that Reggie loves dogs and wants one.

So Kim better get used to having a dog sooner or later.

[screams] Oh, my God!

Seriously!

My God, Rob!

You [bleep] ruined my makeup!

Ew, I smell like a wet dog!

Rob!

[whistling theme music playing]

Hey, Rob. What do you like on your sandwiches?

I'm mean, I don't really like mayonnaise, just honey Dijon.

Like, light Dijon or barbecue sauce.

-What are you doing? -Making Rob some lunch.

Oh, I love this mustard.

Why are you making lunch?

She likes doing it.

After college, I moved back home with my parents.

Because A, my mom loves me.

And B, it's a waste of money to pay monthly rent

when I could just be saving that and living at home.

That was a lot, Mom.

-Um... -[Bruce] Why are you making him lunch?

Is that too much mustard on it, little boy?

How old are you?

I'm 22!

I know he just got out of college, but Rob moving back in...

not a good thing. He's got his mother making him lunch.

He's got a maid to clean up his room.

He needs to figure out how to make it on his own.

You're spoiling him.

This is getting ridiculous.

-He's just... -The biggest problem with Robert,

is not Robert.

The biggest problem with Robert... is you!

I'm going to go help him get dressed, honey.

Thank you, doll.

Yeah, maybe I'll tie his shoes for him.

[dog barks]

Do you know if you have the color My Private Jet by OPI?

[barks]

This isn't anyone's puppy, is it?

-No. -No.

-It's just walking around outside. -[man] Sorry.

So I'm out shopping, and I find this ratty little dog.

What are you doing here?

And I feel really bad for it, 'cause it's just walking around.

I don't want it to get hit by a car.

Oh, what are you doing?

Whose are you?

Excuse me, is this your dog?

[store clerk] No.

This isn't your dog, is it?

Let's go.

This little dog doesn't have an ID tag.

No one even seems to know where it came from.

All right.

What do I do?

What do I do?

[line ringing]

-[Kris] Hello? -Hey, Mom.

Hi, Kim, what's up?

So I was just up in the nail salon,

and I was walking out,

and I saw this, like, little, tiny Chihuahua just walking.

What do I do with it?

Just take it over to the pound and find out if they can help you,

because you can't leave that dog there if it doesn't have an owner, honey.

Okay.

And whatever you do, don't bring it here.

Ugh. Okay, bye.

Kind of heavy there.

-[Kim] Hi. -[woman] Hi.

-[Kim] How are you? -[woman] How are you?

I have never done this before.

I'm not really an animal person, so I don't know what to do.

Well, the first thing we usually do is we scan her for a microchip

to find out if maybe she has an owner.

So, nothing's coming up.

So my guess is, she doesn't have a microchip.

So we would go ahead and impound her.

And we hold them for a period of four days.

-Impound her? Like a car? -Keep her here, yeah.

It's possible, if nobody comes for her, that she'd be euthanized.

-So it's unfortunate. -Really?

-Yeah. -That's so sad.

So if you're interested in adopting her, that'd be great.

Maybe I'll just, like, hold onto her, and look for the owner.

I just don't really feel comfortable not trying to find the owner,

or trying to find it a home,

or trying to figure out what's going on before I just leave it at the pound.

-Well, thank you so much. -You're welcome.

-Good luck with her. -Thank you.

[Kris screams] Oh, no!

No, no, no, no, no!

-[Rob] What the hell is that? -It's a rat.

[Kim] I found the dog

walking around in Calabasas by the nail salon.

[Khlo�] What?

[Kim] Look at his nipples though, he's had a baby or something.

[Khlo�] That's a girl, Kim.

-[Kim] I took him to the pound... -What are you gonna do with him?

They basically told me that if I leave the dog at the pound,

they put him up for adoption for four days

and if no one gets them, then they put them to sleep.

[Kris] No.

So now I need to find a home, we need to make flyers

and we need to figure out what to do.

How about I leave the dog with you guys?

[Kris] No, how about you don't?

No. Just to give him a bath and then I'll come get him.

[Kris] No, Kim, no, we're not having baths.

Take it to a groomer.

This is classic Kim.

She knew that if she brought this dog over

that of course, Kendall and Kylie are gonna want to nurse it back to health.

I'm not running a shelter here.

I've never liked dogs since I was a kid.

I'm trying to do the right thing here.

No, you're asking me to do the right thing here,

but I've got a full plate right now,

and I'm in the middle of a crazy work schedule.

If you want to do the right thing,

then you take the dog home to your house and you figure it out.

-You're a big girl, okay? -Fine.

-Sorry. -Fine.

["It's So Easy" plays]

* It's so easy *

* It'll take a lot to please me *

* All I ever want is Norah *

* Won't ya open up your door? *

What are you doing?

Watching The Office.

Here you are, a graduate of USC, majored in business,

graduated with great grades,

and here you are, watching re-runs and TV shows.

I just graduated. I just graduated.

The problem is getting worse.

I mean, Rob now is sleeping in all morning.

I mean, Rob's got to grow up here.

I... I'm really getting tired of this.

This is temporary.

-This is not permanent. -I need to get some money

-to get my own place first. -Yeah, well, start working.

Well, you're not gonna get the money sitting on the couch.

Here you go. I'm gonna show you what you look like.

How's this?

Cheers.

-No. -[Kris] What are you doing?

You're watching TV in the middle of the day?

I'm not, I'm just making Robert...

You're not? You're sitting there with chips.

Okay, you need to get to work.

I'm in the office all day.

[Bruce] Yeah.

Neh, neh, neh, neh.

[upbeat music playing]

[dog barking, snarling]

Come here.

I've posted signs all over the neighborhood,

but no one has stepped forward to claim her.

So I'm gonna keep this little dog.

I mean, it might be nice having someone to come home to every day,

especially while Reggie's away.

We need to get you a little shirt to cover up those nipples.

I've never owned a dog,

so I don't know what the dog's gonna need.

I don't have, you know, at my place, and it's certainly not sleeping in my bed,

so I need to go at the store

and get the dog some little doggie supplies.

[whines]

Don't worry. We're gonna go eat soon, okay?

[barks happily]

-[man] Hello. -Hi, how are you?

This dog shakes a lot, so...

I want to get her like, a little bomber jacket.

-[man] What did you name her? -Um...

-Princess. -[laughs] Oh.

[Kim] This little girl is growing on me.

She has such a cute personality,

and she's so sweet and calm.

She won't like, let me put her down.

Come on, stay.

It's like it has separation anxiety or something.

That's so cute.

[rock music playing]

[barks]

Good girl.

Do you not eat or something?

Are you anorexic? See if you'll eat regular food.

I always like these.

Oh, I knew you would eat that food.

[knock at door]

Hello?

-Hey! -Hey, Kim.

-Hey, guys. -Ooh!

[Kris] Kim, you still have this dog?

Wait, are you keeping this dog?

Yeah.

Are you supposed to feed it those kind of cookies?

It won't eat its regular food. It only eats these.

I was eating them.

[Kris] Kim, you're not supposed to give it cookies.

Those are real cookies, for people, not dogs.

[Kim] I know.

It'll get very sick and start pooping everywhere.

-Really? -Yeah, it will, really.

-It'll get diarrhea. -[Kim] I don't know about dogs, really.

[Kris] But, Kim, you have to take this dog to the vet.

You can't be around a dog that you don't know...

It could have rabies.

Wait, so why am I standing near it?

[Kris] I know that Kim's been really lonely while Reggie's in New Orleans,

so it's great that she's found a companion.

But she really doesn't know a thing about animals.

And she really has to make sure that she checks out the dog

and makes sure it's healthy before she lets it live in her house.

See, there you go, Princess. You're finally eating.

-Princess? -Yeah, I named her Princess.

Eat a little more of that food. It's good. You'll like it, I promise.

I think Reggie's been in New Orleans for too long.

[Scott] What happened, Rob?

You're having a hard time finding your balls again?

* This Saturday night *

[Scott] Can we have a couple more shots here?

* We're all looking for a good time *

[all laughing]

[Rob] All right, dude.

[Scott] Hey, Rob. Nice penis you got there.

Wait, shut up.

-[Scott] I'm going to get [bleep]. -[J.J.] It's hot.

-Whoa, whoa! -Dude!

Hey, that's mine, first of all.

-Is anybody home? -Yeah, nobody's home.

Bruce Jenner lives here, guys.

-No, he doesn't. -[Scott] The athlete?

The athlete from 1976.

-[J.J.] I'm gonna [bleep]. -Just do it, bro.

[glass shatters]

Dude, you [bleep] my shirt!

[bleep], dude!

[Scott] Okay... Whoa!

-Yo, watch yourself, he's... -[J.J.] Easy!

-[Scott] These are Gucci! -[Rob] Get out of here!

-Hey! -Whoa!

What the hell are you guys doing?

It's 3 o'clock in the morning!

-Guys, guys. Stop. -Yeah, Scotty...

This is not a party house!

Kendall and Kylie are sleeping!

I'm sleeping! Your mom's sleeping.

And you're down here acting like two-year-olds.

-Look at the mess on the floor! -[Rob] I'll clean it up.

You could be gone in a second, you don't even pay rent!

Clean it up!

I swear, I'm gonna get this kid,

and I'm kicking him right out of our house.

I'm sick and tired of you babying this little kid.

-[Kris] I don't baby him. -He's 22 years old!

He graduated from college.

He can go out and get his own place.

I don't need him in the house.

-I've done this! -Calm down!

[Bruce] I don't care. He is out of here.

[Bruce] Honey, you want some coffee?

Sure.

Last night, I mean... Rob just is really starting to tick me off.

He's living in the house at 22,

and that's ridiculous.

He's a good boy.

You're making him sound like the biggest loser.

I'm not saying he's not a good boy. He's a good kid. I love Rob.

But he's gotta learn.

I'll tell you right now, I'm gonna teach him some stuff, okay?

I'm gonna teach him a little discipline,

about how to get up in the morning, how to do things.

And I'm gonna teach him.

Rob.

Get your ass out of bed. It's 10:34 in the morning.

You got 20 minutes.

Well, now I got to shower and that's gonna take 30.

And I guarantee you, I will take my time.

You know what the problem is?

It's a little bit too comfortable for Robert around here.

I think it's time to have a little fun with him.

What are you doing?

I'm changing this door handle so it can't be locked.

-This isn't your room. -I pay the mortgage here.

Honestly, I will not live here if you're gonna take that lock off.

Oh, really? Is that a promise or a threat?

Robbie, what are you doing?

-Oh, my gosh. -Come on.

Let's do a little bonding, a little father-son bonding.

What are you on, what are you doing?

Oh, my God, pornography!

Rob, let's go. Dinner.

I'm not hungry.

Rob, let's go with the program.

It's all cheese. It's gross.

Come on, Rob. Eat up.

What else is going on in your life?

Why are you so nosy today?

Moi?

I have to get a job because I got to get the hell out of here.

I got to get away from the Bruiser.

Oh, come on, Rob, don't walk away.

It never even occurred to me

that I would have to take Princess to the vet.

I just want to make sure that she's healthy,

and has all of her shots.

I mean, after all, she is gonna be living with me.

-Hi. -Hi. I'm Gina.

One of your technicians.

I'm gonna be taking Princess', uh, weight and temperature.

-Okay? -Okay.

Five pounds.

-[barks loudly] -[gasps] You stick it...

Where do you stick that?

-We have to do a rectal temperature. -Oh.

But she's doing pretty good with it.

She's very cute.

A few more seconds, pumpkin.

We have a temperature of 104, which is not normal for...

It means that they have a fever.

I'm gonna go ahead and go back and get the doctor,

-and I'll be right back, okay? -Okay.

Can you hold her again?

[Vet] Hi, how are you?

-I'm good, how are you? -Good.

-Who's this cutie pie? -This is Princess,

and she's a stray dog that I found.

-So, the dog has a fever. -Um, she is actually really warm.

Her temperature's 104.

That's a little bit higher than I like to see it.

There's an infection of some sort. I don't know the source yet.

We may have to do some blood testing.

Possibly take an X-ray to see what's going on.

-All right, give me a few minutes. -Be right back.

Do you like my stretch?

Yeah, keep doing a few more of those, I may have to get behind you.

[doorbell rings]

[doorbell rings rapidly]

Oh, don't worry about it. Don't... You just sit down and I'll get the door.

No problem.

-Hello, Guvnor. -Hello, Guvnor.

Guvnor!

[Scott] How are you, Bobby?

Honestly, I cannot take the old Bruiser at home any more.

[Kourtney] Oh, seriously, when I moved home after college,

Bruce was so annoying.

And so, he's like, "You gotta get a job,

or I'm gonna kick you out of the house."

Kourtney helped me find a job when I was in school.

Now, I'm hoping she'll be able

to find me a job now that I've graduated, you know, a real job.

I have so many friends that would...

II need you to start...

...you could at least interview with.

Start seriously asking for... I need to, like, find an interview.

First of all, I need your resume. I need you to make me a list

of things that you're interested in.

Like, and then, we can go to lunch and brainstorm.

I think it's about time that Rob feels this way,

and he wants to get a job and move out and do things as an adult.

I'm more than happy to help Rob out.

And I'm sure that Bruce will be very happy too.

What?

You're looking like a [bleep] fat ass.

Shut the [bleep] up!

Do you think I'm gonna help you if you talk to me like that?

[Scott] She's gonna lose the weight in a year or two.

Hello.

So what's going on?

She has a condition called Pyometra.

And what this is, is that her uterus is filled with pus.

Very, very dangerous.

Now, you can see on the X-ray here,

I can see her bladder very well.

But then I also see another fluid-filled structure,

which tells me it's her uterus.

We need to get the uterus out as soon as possible.

The doctor tells me that Princess now needs surgery,

and I'm not gonna even see her until tomorrow.

Princess is so little.

I'm just worried about her going into surgery.

You'll be okay.

I promise.

[rap music plays]

* People, the way to go *

* For the big bad, too damn old... *

[Robert] Kourtney really helped me. She got me a bunch of interviews.

And I'm not trying to be cocky here, but, you know,

I'm looking sharp in my suit, and I'm very confident

that I'm gonna get every one of these jobs.

Hi, Princess!

Hi, baby.

[Kourtney] What is that stuff in that bubble thing?

[Vet] That's fluid that's draining from her abdomen.

She's not doing well.

[Kim] Oh, look at her eyes.

[Kourtney] She's shaking.

[Kim] They're like, half open.

She's very out of it, and I can't break her fever.

Her protein level was low. Her glucose is low.

We've put dextrose in her fluids.

Um, we gave her a plasma transfusion.

So is there anything else we can do?

Is there any like, what are the other options?

It's very hard.

The doctor tells me

that the only chance of survival for Princess

is she's gonna need round-the-clock care.

With my schedule being so crazy, can I really take care of her 24/7?

Will she ever live, like, a normal healthy life

even if she does fight through that?

If she fights through, she could live a normal life.

We can keep going with the treatment.

Give more plasma transfusions, continue to monitor the blood pressure.

But we have to do what's the best decision for Princess.

One of the vet's assistants has offered to adopt Princess,

and give her the constant care that she really needs.

Her best chance for survival would be for me just to give her up.

What are you thinking, Kim?

What are you thinking, Kim?

I don't know, what do you think I should do?

I mean, I don't think you want her to be in pain.

It doesn't look like we have a choice.

You did everything you could.

You know, you didn't know when you picked this baby off the street

that it was gonna have these problems.

As much as I hate it,

I decided I have to give up Princess.

I love you, Princess.

[Kourtney] Can you imagine if you didn't take her home with you,

you know, she was wandering around, she would have died alone on the street.

[Vet] Okay, I'm gonna take her back now.

Okay?

I'm sorry, guys.

I know that I've only had Princess for a really short period of time,

but I actually love her.

[cell phone ringing]

Hello?

-[man] Is this Robert? -Yes. Who's this?

Good. How are you doing?

Oh, thank you. I'm so excited.

Well, when do... when do you want me to come in?

So, I get a call about this job opportunity

to work for a skincare company,

and I think this is a great start. I would love to have my own skincare line.

I have my sisters.

I have a bunch of connections in the industry.

It's all about marketing, and that's something

that I think that I can do really well.

And I'll see you on Monday, 9:00 a.m.

Thank you so much again.

Bruiser.

Bruiser.

I cannot wait to tell Bruce.

Bruiser.

Rob. Well, perfect timing, you can help me with the groceries.

This is like the most exciting day in my life.

-Get out of here! -I got...

What did you do?

-Well, I got a job, that's what. -No! [laughs]

This is the most exciting day of my life!

Yes!

Music to my ears! Rob's got a job.

I like it. No, really, congratulations, that's good.

[Kris] Hi, Bruce!

Congratulations, Rob.

Yeah, here, here.

I really do appreciate everything Bruce has done for me.

He's an amazing father figure,

and I'm just looking forward to making a lot of money

and just waving it in his beautiful face.

Are you paying for dinner tonight?

Wait, if Rob's paying for the dinner, let's order caviar

-and bottles of champagne. -[Kim] Happy hour.

At this point, I'm proud of Rob. You know, this is a good thing.

I think it's time we celebrate that he's out into the workforce now.

It's good.

It's a good thing that you're getting out,

moving on.

-I know... -Slowly.

-Twenty-two... Slowly. -Slowly.

Do it a little bit faster.

You know, now that I have a job, I'm hoping that Bruce will let me stay

in the house a little bit longer, because rent in LA, it is not cheap.

[Bruce] To the job!

[all] To the job!

-To Rob! -[cheers]

[Kim] To Rob who has a job!

-We are back. -[woman] Yeah, I'm glad you came back.

[barks]

[Kim] So, I'm at the pound to kind of help out with anything

that needs to be helped out with.

There's so many amazing dogs here

that could really use and deserve a loving home.

[dogs barking]

You are so cute.

Nurse on my fingers?

[whines]

Kim does have a really big heart after all.

[Khlo�] Next on Keeping Up with the Kardashians...

[Bruce] So I came up with this idea,

we'll have a charity boxing event with the family.

What?

-[crowd exclaims] -His face mask is off!

Kim... Kardashian!

This is not what we signed up for!