Original subtitles

[Kim] Let's go look at the baby's room, come on.

Ah, do you think a baby is gonna live in here?

Let's hope you're redecorating this thing.

Kourtney, this is not even... normal.

This is where the clothes go that we can't fit anywhere.

Kourtney, you're gonna have a baby in two months. Two months.

It takes more than two months to order a crib.

First of all, we need to have the room painted.

I happen to think this color is so beautiful.

Look at this color.

[Kim] That's a little bright for me. That's like a Post-it.

That... That's a little more subtle.

[Kris] So beautiful.

Do that blue, do it Hermes blue.

And we can call it the "Hermes Blue Room."

I'm loving this.

I think that this is the dresser. That's the flat screen.

That's the changing table. That's the crib.

And that's a rollaway bed. Or a... a mattress and a box spring.

-Done. -You know, done.

The baby is gonna be here in less than two months

and there's still so much to do.

I just feel really overwhelmed.

Why don't you just get some stuff done,

think about this stuff here alone?

-No. -[kisses] Get to work.

-I need my mom. -Just start writing stuff down

-and figure it out. -Help me with something.

[Scott] I'm all good. Love you.

[whistling theme music playing]

[Bruce] Honey, I'm home!

Where's everybody? Don't all rush to meet me.

-Hey, babe, I'm back! -Hi, honey.

What are you doing?

I gave the presentation.

How was it?

Uh, good, sales force.

I love sales forces, they, like, get it.

So where's your check? My check?

-Do you mean... -Trying to hold down on me?

-...like this one right here? -Mm-hmm.

-Now, here's the deal. -Hmm.

I was thinking about... opening up my own account.

Your own account? What do you need an account for?

Bruce, you haven't written a check since 1972.

No, no, that's not the case.

It's just every time I turn around, it's like I have to beg you for money.

-I mean, 20 bucks. -Beg?

Like, you know, get a coffee in the morning.

-I don't want to have to go to you... -We got you a Starbucks card.

I'd like to have my own little account.

Kris is so controlling.

Especially... with the money.

Just relax.

Sure.

-Okay. -Sure.

-All right. -I'm going to go change.

All right, do you need 20 bucks?

Oh, yeah, I need 20 bucks.

[Kris] Yeah, okay. I'll give you a loan!

[Kourtney] What do you think about this?

This seems like I could use this, slash, holding the baby,

and also being in a theatre room type feel.

And get pedicures.

-Totally. Look at this. -Yeah.

Do my nails, bitch.

You guys are so annoying.

We really need to get all the furniture for the baby's room

and I really need Scott to definitely take this seriously.

[Kourtney] This bedding is actually really cute.

Rob, test that.

-I can't be in here. -No, doll, hold on.

I want to show you that I'm gonna be a good dad, watch.

Boy, I said, no more candy in bed.

No.

-[laughs] Put it down. -[Rob] You're a good dad.

-I'm telling you. -[Kourtney] You guys are annoying.

How much weight does this hold?

[Kourtney] Does this come in black? -Will this hold him?

-[man] I don't know. -[Kourtney] Come on.

-I wouldn't recommend it. -You guys, can you...

-go in that room? -Where are we gonna go?

-I'm trying to ask questions. -[Scott] Just get in there.

[Kourtney] No, you guys, stop. You can't do that.

That's so rude and disrespectful.

-What are you doing? -Robert!

-[Scott] What if he comes over to babysit? -Just so disrespectful.

What if he comes over to babysit?

He's just going to get in it? You're so immature. Grow up.

Grow up? He's in the...

[laughs] Grow up, Rob.

You guys are so embarrassing. You're not with me.

[Scott] Embarrassing? I'm about to spend $1,500 on a crib.

I want to make sure Rob can sleep in it too.

[door closes]

[Kim] Hello?

Yeah?

Hey, Rob.

What are you doing?

Ooh, Adrienne.

Is that your Adrienne folder?

Yeah, it's just that every day in India, she would take a different picture.

So I was just...

going through my photos.

Adrienne is my ex-girlfriend.

Who I was with for two years, and we lived together.

Please try not to smack me in the face with the box.

We were very serious. Got tattoos. The whole nine.

-I love you. -I love you too.

And, um, we aren't together because I cheated on her.

-Come on... -Okay, Rob.

Maybe I'll just go back to New York.

You never know what will happen.

-[Rob] I mean, I honestly... -Like, Reggie and I got back together.

-I mean, we were only apart two months. -Yeah, I understand it.

All you guys ended up getting back together, but like...

I mean, Kourtney and Scott, they were apart six months.

I mean, you have to follow your heart and figure out, you know?

Obviously right now, you feel like you can't live without her.

Yeah.

I just truly do believe that she was the one for me.

We were so compatible together.

So, I want to open up her eyes,

so I can show her and treat her the way she should have been treated.

Don't worry, it'll... Whatever is meant to be, will be.

[sighs]

Hey, honey. I need to run by the mall and pick some stuff up, so...

Can you get Kendall and Kylie?

-Yes, not a problem. -Yeah?

-All right. -Um...

By the way, my other 600 helicopter,

um, the motor went out on it.

I know you're gonna go crazy but, uh...

I gotta get another motor for it.

All you do is buy gas and helicopters

and remotes and things are burning out.

And blah, blah, blah.

And it's like, such a waste.

I have a good time doing it.

So it's, uh... To me, it's worth it.

But anyway, I gotta spend the $500 on it.

And also, I want to get a new one.

Five hundred bucks? A new one? How much is a new one?

I want to get the 700 with all the goodie parts in it, so.

I mean, this is my little hobby.

I... I just have fun with this.

Used to have big airplanes. Now, I got...

I'm down to little airplanes.

You now, and I can't spend a few dollars on them?

Are you kidding me?

Can I borrow some money?

-What? -Do you have 20 bucks? I'm gonna leave.

I don't have any more cash.

Yeah, here you go.

Thank you.

Ugh.

And... I'm gonna take the ATM card,

-so you don't feel tempted. -No, you're not gonna take

-the ATM card. -I'm gonna help you out,

-so you don't waste any more money. -No. Bring that card back.

No! I don't want to waste any more money!

-`It's crazy! -Just bring the card back!

Jeez.

[Kourtney] Um, do you want to help me start doing this crib?

Hmm.

I need Scott to start taking things a little bit more seriously

when it comes to the baby. Like getting the room together,

reading baby books. Just being more involved

in what I'm going through.

I think that we need to do this together as a team.

Where's the bolts?

-Here. -Why...

There's bolts in here.

I don't think I can do this, to be honest.

Don't you think we could just get somebody to do this for us

for, like, a hundred bucks?

It's not about the money,

it's just doing it yourself.

You think the baby is gonna know if I built this or not?

It's just fun.

You think this is fun?

You could be left alone to do it.

[Khlo�] What are you doing here?

-I have a... -What is that?

I have a problem.

Who knew you had helicopters that big.

I thought they started off like this big?

Oh, well, see, here's the problem I have, honey.

-"Honey"? -Honey.

-What's happening? -That's me being really nervous.

Here's the problem I have.

-You just called me "honey." -I'm building this bigger one right now.

I figured...

You know, for 600 bucks maybe,

I could like...

You know, be your little slave?

Wait, so what do you mean? I'm just confused.

Well, I just need cash, that's all.

If I go back to Mom,

and ask her for, you know, like, more money,

she's gonna absolutely have a fit.

Here's the deal with the old cash flow.

Obviously, if I write a check, she sees it.

If I put it on the credit card, she sees it.

I gotta kind of... go around her.

She kind of controls the books.

And that's always a problem for me

because I don't have, like, my own checking account.

I don't have my own credit cards and stuff like that.

-You don't have your own credit card? -I don't even have a credit card.

I know. Um...

-Everything, so she sees... -You are such

a little girl!

I know, I'm a... I'm a wuss.

Yeah, when it comes to that stuff.

-You're a puss. -I'm a puss.

I feel so bad that you need to, like, ask me for money.

Yeah, I know. I feel bad too.

-How do you think I feel? -Like, that's so embarrassing for you.

I definitely feel sorry for Bruce, and I really want to help him out.

He... I mean, I want him to feel like a man.

Like, here's money, buy yourself something. Jeez.

You're diving in to the cash?

Well, I have... $400 on me now.

You got $400?

-So you can go... -Oh, my God, I'm rich!

And then, um, if you could take out the trash

and then if you go to Dash,

maybe tomorrow or whatever later today...

Get a couple more?

I love it.

All right, I'm gonna go start on my chores.

And remember, don't tell Mom.

-Okay? -Your secret is safe with me.

[Khlo�] Hi.

Got started already on doing the light bulbs?

None of them are working.

Well, you know, like all these little light bulbs

-are need to be changed. -I know.

Me and Lilly can't reach those. There's spider webs all on it

at the very top, like, that's sick. I can't do that.

-All right. -You just need a duster.

I am the duster.

Bruce is doing a really good job at everything.

But I... I just feel bad even telling him to do stuff.

[upbeat music plays]

[Khlo�] That should do it.

It's been a pleasure doing business with you.

-Anytime, dude. -Okay.

[phone rings]

[Adrienne over voicemail] Hey, I'm unavailable to take your call right now.

Please leave your name and number, I'll get back to you.

[beep]

Hey, it's Rob.

Um, just wanted to call and say,

it was nice seeing you at the wedding,

and nice talking to you and everything.

I've been trying to call Adrienne.

Trying to make things right, but she won't pick up.

Hey, Adrienne, it's me again.

Hey, it's me again.

Uh, Rob. Just, uh...

wanted to see how your day is going.

Uh, it's 9:20.

Calling to say hi.

Call me back, please.

The reason I'm calling Adrienne so much

is just because I want her to see how much I truly care

and how much I truly want to be with her. I want to get my girl back.

Hey, hey, it's Rob.

Uh, just calling you

and see what's going on.

-All right, call me back. -Is that the strip club?

[Kim] When did you start to get grey hair?

-Like, last week. -Oh, please.

I have one grey hair.

And in order for her to like, make it all blend,

she has to do the whole head.

-Right, Kay? Yeah. -Right.

Will you guys look at this new dress I have in my closet?

-Why? -I'm going to an event tomorrow night

and I need to make sure you guys think my dress is cute.

[Khlo�] Mom, Kim and I have told you this before,

you can't buy clothes unless we approve them between us.

I'm asking you to approve it, I have 24 hours.

-Okay? -Where?

It's right over there, look at the dress.

[Kim] Is it this one hanging right here?

-Yep. -Oh, my God!

[Kris] What?

It is like $4,000.

-[Khlo�] Mom! -What?

You just spent $4,000 on a dress?

[Kris] I couldn't find anything else to wear.

-And you like... -Mom, that is ridiculous!

-Are you kidding? -This is crazy!

That's way too much money, Mom.

You have so many dresses, and it's just a plain black dress.

It's nothing special.

I can't keep wearing the same dress over and over.

You have to have, like, something new every time you go to an event.

[Khlo�] Kris is such a hypocrite.

Bruce is not allowed to spend any money on helicopters,

because it's wasteful.

But yet, my mom can go around and spend $4,000 on a dress

that she's only going to wear once!

Get out of my wallet, Khlo�.

-Credit card. -Khlo�!

-Credit card. -Khlo�!

Credit card.

-Khlo�! -Credit...

Oh, Bruce Jenner's credit card.

No wonder he has no money.

-Capital One, Wells Fargo... -Put my stuff away!

That is not okay!

You don't go through somebody's wallet.

It's rude, and disrespectful.

[Khlo�] Oh, come on, she's just sensitive.

Come on, Kim.

[Rob] To wives and mistresses!

[clink]

-Shall they never meet. -[Scott] To you.

What were you saying about last night?

Do you know how many times he called Adrienne last night?

-Shut up! -Seventy, he told me.

If she doesn't pick up after five calls,

I want to know where the other 65 came from.

[Scott] What is going on with you and Adrienne?

Where are you with her right now?

-Like, to be honest... -You know what I mean?

I felt like post wedding, you were really close.

[Scott] I felt like the wedding night, it was good,

until she woke up the next day,

and he called her 19 times

-to see when she woke up... -I did not.

-He sent flowers. -I did not.

-He's gonna send her a dog, by the way. -Did you send her flowers?

No, I did not, before the wedding, she liked them.

I bet she did [bleep]. What is she gonna say?

"Hey, by the way, I hated your flowers. See you at the wedding."

[Rob] You know, J.J. and Scott are constantly making fun of me.

But, little do they know, like,

Adrienne and I have a special relationship.

What do you think is gonna happen at this point?

-I mean... -I'm not even...

-Are you stalking her? -No, I'm done.

She's probably gonna have a restraining order before you know it.

[line ringing]

Is this a joke? Answer my phone.

When I call someone, like answer.

-Who you calling? -Scott.

I said I wanted to go to this... to these classes.

-And, like, he doesn't answer. -Class for what?

Like, breast pumping.

-Maybe that's why he's not answering. -It's so rude.

-I said, like, let's go... -Yeah, well, he'll just ignore you.

Call him again.

I just called, like, three times. I don't want to be a stalker.

-But like, answer my call. -Kourtney, that's your baby daddy.

You can stalk.

Stalk that ass!

I've called Scott over and over, he's totally avoiding my calls.

And I'm really pissed off because

he's totally flaking on me to go to this breast feeding class.

I mean, I refuse to go alone.

Honey, why would anyone want to pump their breast by themselves?

I could go with you and give you moral support.

I mean, I'm not gonna...

-pump your breast, but I'll... -I mean, I don't get it.

And I feel like when I go to these classes...

Can I really be that supportive and pump mine too?

Bruce told me he's tasted breast milk.

I'm... Bruce, I'm sure has.

How's that?

-Bruce is just very... -By accident?

-No. -Are you gonna taste mine?

Just to see what it tastes like?

Drink your breast milk?

Not from my boob.

-Obviously, you sick [bleep]. -Just like if I... taste it.

Yeah, I'll taste it.

I'm not sucking on your [bleep] and stuff.

Let's hope.

[Bruce] What are you doing?

Rob told me, um, to bring beers for them.

Bring beers for them.

What are you, their bartender?

-Yeah. -Great.

Okay, get them their beers and don't be drinking any of it!

Oh, I will!

[Bruce] Sometimes, I get real disappointed with Scott.

You know, here, he's got a pregnant girlfriend, okay.

Instead, he's over here with my little Kylie,

being the little bar maid.

Bringing beers out there, so he can work on his tan.

It does not work for me.

[Scott] Want a little brewski, Bruce?

Yeah, I'm trying to keep up with you guys.

Anyway, why aren't you with Kourtney?

What?

I mean, I'm always with her.

The guy needs a little... breather.

-Well... -[Scott] She's doing some class

that doesn't involve me today anyway.

Did she say she didn't want you to go?

Course not, she said she wanted me to go, but...

I know.

-Well... -I don't need to go.

Yeah, well, yes, you do.

You need to go.

Look, Bruce, I know how to handle my lady.

And you know how to handle yours.

-We'll be just fine. -[Rob] Oh, jeez.

You know how to handle Kourtney?

Nobody knows how to handle Kourtney.

I handled her well enough to get her pregnant.

[Bruce laughs]

Yeah, good luck.

[instructor] Hi, how are you?

-All right, come on in. -[Kourtney] Okay.

I'm traumatized today. I don't like my baby.

-You don't like your baby? -This one.

Here, you want this one?

Yeah, thank you.

[whispers] This is my black baby.

Okay.

I like that one better.

-I like the girl. -Ooh, look at that one's eyes.

Khlo�, look at it.

-[cooing] -[instructor] Hi, everyone!

So today, we're gonna take you through some of the, uh, basics

so you guys need to know how to take care of these little ones.

And we're gonna just, um, talk about

and learn about some of the things you're gonna be doing every day.

Um, so, I think hopefully, it will be useful to you.

How many times a day does your baby eat?

Uh, new babies that are breast fed, 8 to 12 times.

-No. -Yeah.

-A day? -Uh-huh, in 24 hours.

Going to these classes makes me more nervous

because it just reminds me of all the information that I don't know.

[instructor] Put the front of the diaper underneath your baby's tush,

so you've got a clean surface...

-Kourtney. -What?

-Raise two legs like this. -Sorry.

And have that cloth diaper handy.

Everybody got that?

-Perfect. -No, you wrap it...

Bingo.

I don't know how to change a diaper. I don't know how to swaddle a baby.

I don't know when you swaddle a baby.

I don't know even how to hold the baby.

Just thinking about all these tasks and things that I'm gonna need to know,

just makes me really nervous and anxious.

Did you do it?

[instructor] So, guys, how did you do?

-That looks good! -I don't think I did very well.

Okay, let's see.

Kourtney's just off right now.

I think she's really getting stressed

and the pregnancy is finally starting to hit her

and it's becoming more serious.

And also, I think the fact

that she's the only one without a dad here right now.

I think that's really affecting her.

[instructor] How do dads back there feeling about all this going on?

You guys plan to be pretty involved?

He's better than I am.

Yeah, he's better than you are.

How about the rest of you? Dads involved or...

-I'm the dad today. -Got it.

Good, you're going to be busy.

Hmm.

I will still be the dad even when... he is around, I'm sure.

Hello.

Okay.

What are you up to?

All right, good talking to you.

[Kourtney] I'm sick and tired of Scott

not putting in an effort with the baby and I,

and him not coming to that class was the last straw.

You have bad attitude.

Yeah, 'cause you ditched me in...

-Ditched you when? -the breastfeeding class today.

It's a woman's breastfeeding class!

We learned about other things that wasn't just about breastfeeding!

You just don't get it.

What are you bringing to the table?

-Nothing! -Everything.

-Nothing! -Everything...

You're not helping with any [bleep] thing!

I'm done! Like, I'm so [bleep] done with you!

-Oh, relax, you don't mean that. -Relax?

Test me! [bleep] test me and see!

-Test you? -Yeah!

If you don't start helping me out

and getting on my team, this relationship is done.

[upbeat whistling tune]

[line ringing]

[Rob] Hello?

So, I called Rob to see what's going on with Adrienne.

[Rob] I freaked out last night.

And I called her, like, 60 times.

Literally, like... crazy.

Like, more than that.

Like, from the house, and from my cell.

Rob, you're crazy!

I think if I show her that I'm serious, about wanting her back.

I think she'll come back to me.

And I don't want to be with anybody but her.

I don't want to even date.

And I can't just be lonely and single anymore.

Literally, every single day, I send her an email or a text.

And I'm not talking about just one,

like, "Oh, this just reminded me, I'm so sorry, like,

that I treated you that way."

I know he feels that she's the one and I get it.

But Rob is taking it to a whole 'nother level.

I think that at some point, you just need to stop calling her!

I think this is now, like, the turning point.

You have to let it go.

-All right, I gotta shower. -Bye.

Hey, Bruce.

Scotty.

Rob here?

No, he left.

What?

-He just told me to come here. -Did he really?

I figure I'll talk to you then, Bruce, if Rob ain't here.

I need somebody to speak to because, you know, it's all women everywhere.

Yeah.

-There's nothing but them. -And you got a pregnant one.

It's not simple, I've come to realize.

-You're just realizing that now? -Yeah.

She, I guess, asked me to go to some class

that I thought I had no part in. Breastfeeding?

I thought that's just her.

What... What do I bring to the table in breastfeeding?

Support.

I mean, I want to be there for her and be sensitive,

I've just never been this person before.

Scott has really lived a very easy life.

He's been really very selfish, and just kind of dealing with Scott.

It's time to get a little bit of advice

about being a father.

You just gotta realize that... it's just not about you anymore.

-Yeah. -It's not about Kourtney anymore.

It's about this family structure.

It's easier now,

-because when... -The little one.

-...little guy comes, okay? -It's a whole 'nother level.

It's 24 hours a day,

seven days a week, 365 days out of the year

for the next 20 years of your life.

[laughs] I'm getting to realize that now.

Being an only child, I never really did care too much about other people's needs.

But I realize I'm not the most important person anymore

and I can't be selfish.

I need to think about my family.

All you can do right now is just dote on her.

Take care of her,

and just realize that this stage of pregnancy,

you just gotta get through it.

[Rob] Yo, food's here.

-...comes with us. -Yummy!

Hey, Rob.

Kourt, Kim and I decide that it's time to intervene on Rob

with this whole Adrienne situation.

Thank God you're here, because...

Honestly, you have a major problem.

What did I do?

Uh, you are obsessed with Adrienne.

She understands how I am, she doesn't think I'm crazy...

-Um, Robert... -I was just proving a point.

She definitely thinks you're crazy.

Who wouldn't think someone's crazy if they called them that many times?

This is an intervention, okay? We're intervening.

If Rob and Adrienne are meant to be together,

-they'll be... -That's my point.

You don't need to try this hard, I'm over it now.

Like at first, I was like, "Oh, cute, Rob and Adrienne."

Like, I'm over it, okay?

[Kim] She knows that you love her, what else can you do?

There's nothing else you can do.

The love that Adrienne and I had doesn't just go away overnight.

It's just so frustrating that my own family

doesn't even understand their own brother.

I don't feel content and like, at peace.

I can't just drop everything and be cold turkey

and not talk to her anymore.

Well, that's not gonna happen, she went back to New York.

Then if I have to go to New York, I'll go to New York.

If I look like an idiot...

How much more stupid can I look?

You're just gonna go to her house?

I'm gonna go and try to make things right.

Honestly, maybe you need to go to New York to open up your eyes

that you guys are not meant to be.

Well, I don't agree with that.

Enjoy Adrienne in New York, you freak of the week.

[Bruce] Where'd these cookies come from?

They're Armenian cookies.

What's the difference between like, an American cookie

and an Armenian cookie?

An Armenian made them.

Oh, that makes it an Armenian cookie!

-Those pants, I mean, are you a doctor? -[Bruce] Yeah.

[Khlo�] I mean, do you have a washing machine?

They're filthy.

They are, but I've been working all day...

[Kim] I mean, those shoes, those are slippers.

-[Bruce] Moving stuff for your mother. -Don't you have any, like, balls?

No, not with her.

Apparently not, they're in the blender.

-Balls in a blender. [laughs] -Balls in a blender.

Kris already has your balls in a blender.

I know. Well, what are you gonna do?

[laughs] I'm scared of her!

Honey, she's the one that walked in with a $5,000 all black basic dress.

-Like, hello, that's such a... -Really?

-Yeah, $5,000 for one... -Get out of here!

...black gown, it wasn't even special.

Thousands of dollars she paid for a dress!

Are you kidding me?

We've gotta get her back.

I don't know how, but...

Maybe I should trade in the dress or something.

[Kim gasps] Wait, I have the best idea.

-[Khlo�] What? -We should go...

and get her dress from the dry cleaners

and hold it captive until she gives back the ATM card.

I really wanna help Bruce get his financial freedom back.

He's worked so hard.

There's no way that my mom should have control over the money.

So we get her dress from the cleaners,

and we hold her hostage.

I like it, I'm in.

[Scott] I'm gonna show Kourtney

that I'm gonna be there for whatever she needs,

whenever she needs it.

[light cheerful music]

-Hey. -Hello, hello.

What are you doing?

Getting this room put together.

Oh, that's cute with the animals there.

And the blanket.

What about the whole crib, it's all done?

Oh, no way!

I never in a million years pictured myself putting a crib together.

I know that I'm doing it for my son,

and I'm taking pride in it.

So cute that you put these animals out here like that.

I just wanted you to be happy.

Thank you, it makes me happy.

[laughs]

[Khlo�] Our mission is to teach Kris a lesson

and give Bruce his balls back for life.

So, we're here.

Hi, we're picking up a dress under Kris Jenner.

[Khlo�] We're just gonna take this dress.

-Thank you. -You can charge it to her.

Yeah, charge it to her account.

[Kim] Bye!

-We got it. -Bruce, come on.

[Kim] Mission accomplished.

All right.

Should we wait here or what?

Yeah, we're gonna wait here.

She said she's on her way.

[Bruce] I feel like, it's like, we're the cops.

We're on stakeout. This is wonderful.

-This is a stakeout. -This is the stakeout?

[Khlo�] So now that we're playing the waiting game.

All right, I can't see.

-I'm gonna move up to the front seat. -Oh, I'm sorry.

All right, where is she?

And I think you should make the... Oh, you got the phone call already?

-Yeah. -Okay.

[Khlo�] Come on, Kris.

[Bruce] Come on, Kris.

Here we are at a stakeout and literally, it's been an hour.

Kris is still not here, my ass is numb.

I mean, being a spy is really hard.

[Bruce] And... she's parking.

[Khlo�] Oh, yeah.

[all laugh]

[Khlo�] She's gonna be so mad.

All right, call her, now.

[line ringing]

[Kris] Hello?

[Khlo�] Kris Jenner?

We have taken your dress from the cleaners.

If you want it back wrinkle-free,

you will listen to the following instructions.

Do you hear me?

Get in the vehicle, make sure you are not followed.

Meet us at the 76 gas station on the corner.

Meet us there.

Pronto, Tonto.

I don't have time to dilly-dally and play these stupid games...

Well, we don't have time to constantly give Bruce money.

[both] Over and out, be there in five.

If not, this dress is losing an entire inch off the bottom.

Seriously?

[Bruce laughs]

[Khlo�] Oh, my God, does she sound pissed.

Now, we have to rush back to the house and hide the dress

before Kris comes home.

[mysterious spy music plays]

Kim, get the dress.

We've got to hide it before Mom comes.

All right, I got it.

[Khlo�] Come on!

You've got to be kidding me.

[Kris over phone] Hello?

Mission aborted,

you may now go to your house now.

We are waiting.

What do you mean?

Bring a wad of cash.

I just hung up on her. [laughs]

Okay, now, let's wait it out.

Let's just wait it out, she'll come back.

-Should we leave it... -I need Midol!

[laughs]

All right, I'll wait down here.

God, she's gonna kill me.

[tense music plays]

Kris is on her way back. Kris really doesn't like practical jokes,

especially when she's the victim.

I don't know how she's gonna handle this thing.

Aren't you nervous?

You guys are, like, not paying any attention.

No, we're not nervous!

I'm the one that's gonna catch hell for this.

-Why are we nervous? -What do we care?

We're gonna cut the [bleep] out of that dress

if she tries to pull any crap with us.

We got her driving all over town.

Who cares?

She stole your ATM card!

See, this is why you're a little beeitch, and she has your balls in a...

In a device.

-In that thing. -A "vice." It's called a vice.

-Okay, a vice. -There you go.

-You got it. -Why are you scared of her?

-You should not be scared... -I'm scared to death of her.

Do you even have a sausage anymore or did she cut it off?

-[laughs] Yeah, what's left of it. -[Khlo�] I mean, seriously.

[tense music plays]

Are you guys serious?

Where's my dress?

-This isn't... I have things to do! -[Khlo�] He has things to buy!

I can't play scavenger hunt all day long!

I need my dress because I have to wear it tonight!

[Bruce] Hold it, everybody stop!

Hold it!

Bitch, I want my damn ATM card!

Hey, wait. No, hold it!

Bitch, I want my damn ATM card!

[Khlo�] Yeah, beeitch!

[laughs]

-[Bruce] Was that good? -[Kris] How funny!

-[Khlo�] How about them... -It's not funny.

-Give me my dress! -[Bruce] Was I standing up to her?

-Give me my dress! -[Bruce] I want...

Where's the ATM card?

-Oh, he's mad now, look at him. -[Kris] Give me the dress first.

See, wasn't that good? Didn't I stand up to her?

-You know, you're ridiculous because... -Where's the ATM card?

Give me the dress and I'll give you the card.

[Kim] No, give him the card and he'll give you the dress!

Don't you dare put those balls back in that vice, Bruce!

This family is so dysfunctional,

we're fighting over a $4,000 Chanel dress!

Where's the dress?

Just show me where the dress is.

Where'd you guys put the dress?

[Kim] Go look for it.

[Khlo�] Go look for it. If you want it so badly, go look for it.

Now, I'm on another one of your little scavenger hunts?

Who cares?

You go to the cleaners and hi-jack my dress?

You guys are out of your minds! No wonder I drink!

[Kim] Your yappity voice is giving me a headache!

[Bruce] Show me the ATM, and I'll show you where the dress is.

-No! This isn't funny. -Give me the card.

And I'll give you hints.

-Give me the card. Give me the card. -Stop it.

You're really annoying. This isn't getting old.

-Card. -Bruce, come on.

-Give me the card. -No.

Where's the dress?

First of all, here you go. Honey, honey, honey.

-What? -Stop, stop. Here's the deal, okay?

If I'm cutting back, you're cutting back too.

Okay? It's just fair.

-Where's my dress? -Give me the ATM,

and I'll show you where the dress is.

I'll give you the ATM card

at the same time you hand me my dress.

I'm not handing over the ATM card...

-I wanna see the ATM card. -I wanna see the dress.

-And it better be in perfect condition. -All right.

Here's the deal.

-There's the dress, okay? -Mm-hmm.

-Okay. -There's the dress,

-and where's the ATM card? -Is it wrinkled?

No, it's not wrinkled at all. Oh, there it is, huh?

Okay, I'll tell you what.

Ready?

Just give me...

Give me the dress.

-Give me the... -No, at the same time.

-That's right, put it out. -You better give it to me!

-I will, it's right here, it's right here. -Swear?

Right here.

Fair deal.

-All right. -All right.

I'm gonna go to the hobby store. See you!

[Khlo�] Yay!

Whoo!

Yay!

-You got your card! -Give me five!

All right! Good work!

Don't get so excited, it has a $2,000 limit!

I've decided to fly back to New York to see Adrienne face to face,

and just tell her how I feel,

and I know I've told her that hundreds of times,

but to really show her and go to her door.

I don't want her to move on and start a whole new relationship

and forget what we had.

Does she know you're coming?

No, she doesn't.

What are you gonna do? You're just gonna show up?

Yeah, I'm gonna show up, Mom.

And I'm gonna try and make things right,

instead of just sitting here and being miserable

every single day...

I know you are, Rob.

And it's not... It's not okay.

-So... -If this is what you really wanna do,

and if this is what you think is gonna get her to respond to you,

then I think you should go.

I believe that she's the one for me,

I truly do.

And so, you know,

I'm... I'm a big believer in that.

I think that you should go tell her how you feel,

so that you know that you did everything you could

to see if this could work out.

Rob's always telling Adrienne,

"I love you, and I miss you,

and I'm sorry."

Well, okay, get on the plane and go get your girl.

I really do, Rob. I think you're doing the right thing.

Scott and I... go to a Lamaze class together.

Back labor is when the baby's back of the head

is pushing on your maternal spine.

So I'm gonna demonstrate.

Got your tennis ball, tell me if this hurts, okay?

But it should feel nice.

-You're gonna get in there... -Of course.

All across,

and you're gonna give as much pressure

with that ball as she says...

* Now, we're gonna make it work *

* Yeah, we're gonna make it last *

* For a while *

Everything is gentle in, and gentle out.

* Just like the sun is gonna rise up *

* Our love keeps movin' and movin' *

So I want you to take a deep breath through your nose.

[inhales]

And open your mouth and relax it.

[exhales]

* I know it happens all the time *

* But it's our thing That we're doin', doin' *

* Our love keeps movin', movin' *

[Kourtney] I believe that everything's gonna be okay.

We're both totally on the same page now,

and just moving forward in the right direction.

* Our love keeps movin', movin' *

So, what's, like, your plan?

Like, where are you gonna stay?

When I get there, I'm just gonna go get a hotel room, and uh...

I'll probably hit her up when I'm out there,

and just let her know, like, "Look, I'm out here,

I came out here to see you,

and, like, I'm being for real."

I'm just afraid if you go to New York, you'll come back hurt.

As much as I don't agree with Rob going to New York,

I really get what Rob is going through

because I used to go and fly to see Reggie when we were broken up.

He's my little brother, I'm gonna support him no matter what.

[phone ringing]

Hey, okay.

I am just taking Rob to the airport.

I'm gonna call you as soon as I'm done. Okay, bye.

I just got this email from Adrienne.

What? What does it say?

Wait, pull over.

All of the sudden, I get an email.

What? What's going on? Why are you making me pull over?

Because I just got an email that's from her.

I just got this email from Adrienne.

What? What does it say?

-Wait, pull over. -What? What's going on?

Why are you making me pull over?

Because I just got an email that's from her.

"Don't take this email the wrong way,

but this is from the new man in her life."

-What? -Yeah.

"We're trying to start off on the right note

and you're really not making it easy.

Her Blackberry goes off every minute and it's you` almost every time.

I can't imagine what you guys really have to discuss after all this time.

It's honestly annoying and unhealthy for our relationship.

I respect what you guys had in the past,

but according to her, it's clearly over.

Thanks, Dogs One."

Why can't she have the, like, guts to tell you herself?

I'm turning around, like, you're not even going to New York.

I'm sorry.

On our way to the airport?

On our way to the airport.

You get an email from him?

Like, sorry, but if this... if this isn't the biggest sign.

I've done every single thing.

I've made myself look like an idiot, I've made myself...

-you know... -And that's what you do

for someone that you love.

You do it, and if you've tried everything you can,

and they're not, you know, giving you back what you need

-in return... -And it sucks.

After you've tried everything, then now you know you have to move on.

And this was the biggest sign ever.

As hard as it is to let go of the love of my life,

I needed to learn that cheating isn't acceptable.

I'll never, ever do this to my wife,

to my future girlfriend.

It sucks so much, and I'm, like, in so much pain,

but I have to move on and it just sucks.

I just... I'm like...

I just can't believe that, like, I loved her so much.

* And ain't it funny *

* How life turns the tables *

* In our time *

* And you can't rewind *

[Bruce] All right, we're here.

[Kris] Okay, show me your fabulous toy store, honey.

Come on.

I feel really bad. I really didn't look at the big picture

of Bruce's spending. So I have the perfect way

to make this whole thing up to Bruce.

I'm very excited about this.

Don't dampen my enthusiasm.

It's like a good pair of Manolo Blahniks.

-Think of it that way. -Knock yourself out.

We need that in the house. The kids would like that.

No, we don't need that in the house.

Okay, show me what the 700 looks like.

Well, there it is, honey.

It's beautiful.

And you're buying it for me.

-Okay, great, I'm happy to do that. -[Bruce laughs]

[Kris] All right. So how much is this helicopter?

Close to $3,000.

Three thousand dollars?

[clerk] Mm-hmm.

-Three thousand dollars? -[clerk] Yeah.

-Kind of like... -For this... For this toy?

Well, it's not a toy, honey.

This is a very sophisticated piece of equipment.

I mean, this is, like, what the pros use.

-There you go, honey. -[Bruce] Throw it down.

[Kris] Have a good time.

-[Kris laughs] -[Bruce] Thanks!

You work really hard, and you deserve to have what you want,

and to have fun in life, and this is your hobby, so go for it.

-I think it's cool. -Right.

Okay, I have no problem with that.

I guarantee no matter what I spend here,

it's a lot less than what you do on all your stuff.

I mean, I think it's good to put your foot down.

I think, actually, you getting mad at me,

was actually kind of sexy.

-Really? -Yeah.

I oughta try that more often.

I know, you oughta try that more often.

Get your toy and let's go.

Okay, thank you.

-Thank you, honey. -Let's go, baby.

-You're so sweet, honey. -I know. So are you!

See you guys later, I promise I won't crash it.

[Kris] Bye, everybody! Thank you!

[Khlo�] So are we not going to the movies?

'Cause no one's doing anything. I don't get it.

I'm actually trying to save this movie for this date that I have.

Yeah, right.

What? When did you meet her?

I'm so proud of you!

[Scott] Yeah!

-This girl gave her number two years ago. -Look, she gave this to me at Katsu-ya.

Armenian girl.

"Call me Violet," with a happy face.

So by going on this movie date, does that mean you are over Adrienne?

I mean,

it's my way of getting over her.

I told you, cutting yourself off from the outside world,

and like, waiting for Adrienne, that's never gonna do anything for you.

So wait, so that means no movie for us.

No, it isn't.

[Scott] We can still go, Khlo.

-Can I come? -[laughs] We'll all just go.

Yeah.

Well, Rob, I'm so happy you're moving on.

There's more love out there.

And it begins with us.

With Kylie.

Kylie, don't go to him.

Kylie, pick or choose now!

-You're mean to me. -I'm mean?

-Robert would never... -All right, all right, all right.

[Khlo�] You're dead, Kylie.

[Kris] Next on Keeping Up with the Kardashians...

I found the dog walking around in Calabasas.

[Vet] She has a condition called Pyometra.

Can't do much then?

Just do it, bro.

[glass shatters]

Rob moving back in,

-not a good thing. -[Scott] Dude, you [bleep] my shirt.

Hey! What the hell are you guys doing?

I'm sick and tired of you babying this little kid.

-I don't baby him! -He's 22 years old!