Original subtitles

[Khlo�] Previously on Keeping Up with the Kardashians...

I went to New York for Fashion Week to host a fashion show

for my stores DASH and Smooch.

[applause]

The fashion show went so much better than expected

so I have a crazy revelation.

[Khlo�] I'm really thinking of starting my own line.

That's why I really think I want to move here and look into it.

You either want your dream of the clothing line

or you're gonna go back and be a practical salesgirl.

-You're not going to New York! -Why?

Are you gonna tell me... Why?

I make you miserable that you think you have to move off to another city?

Why does this have to be about you?

You don't think about the rest of your family and how it's gonna affect us.

I want you to grow and conquer, I just want you to do it in L.A.

[***]

[Kris] And why are you going to New York?

Because I'm going to go apartment hunting

and if I find an apartment that I like, it depends, I don't know,

I don't know what it is like to live there, but I have to feel it out.

I've lived in New York. I've lived there for almost a year

and it's no fun to be that far from your family.

-[Kim] When? When? -[Khlo�] When? When?

In 1976, by myself.

OK, times have changed. You can hop on a plane and go back and forth

-whenever you like. -I was an airline stewardess.

I'm supposed to go to New York twice in the next week.

Kourtney, but she wants to go live there.

You're not gonna be that far away from us.

I just won't allow it.

I don't really feel like I had time to get used to the idea

of Khlo� moving to New York.

This has made me so upset and anxious.

I mean, it's like, why do you want to hold me back?

I'm really trying to grow, I'm trying to do something.

I don't want to hold anybody back, but what am I gonna do here by myself?

You're gonna be gone, she's always gone, now she's gonna be gone,

-'cause she's gonna be visiting you. -[Khlo�] Hold on.

I'm hurt, I'm shocked,

and I still can't wrap my head around the fact that she's leaving.

Khlo�, I want you to follow your dreams and I want you to be happy,

but it just makes me sad because you guys are my best friends.

You know, it's what I do all day long.

If you guys ain't here, then... [sniffles] I won't have anything like that.

-[Kourtney] Wa, wa, wa. -Yeah, call a wambulance.

-[camera shutters] -[Bruce] All right, we're ready.

No, no, no, you're right here.

The wind, you guys... is this necessary?

Go change. Awful.

No, that is not cute.

[Bruce] Yeah, yeah, yeah, go on.

I need someone to make me laugh.

Where is Kim?

[Khlo�] Kim is always late. Duh.

I am here.

[Kourtney] Get out of our way!

[Kim] Stop! Jealous?

-[Bruce] Stop! -That's enough!

[Kim] Stop!

[man 1] All right, you guys.

-[man 2] That's it! We're done. -[man 3] Money.

-[Kris] Hey, Kourt. -[Kourtney] You look cute.

Thanks.

Can you believe I took this dress home for Kylie

and I realized that she's bigger than she used to be?

It's like I'm living in the past or something. I'm so...

over these kids getting so big.

Kids these days are just large.

I don't have anybody to take care of the way I used to take care of you guys.

I think that's why I had so many kids.

I'm not complete. I wish I could have another baby.

-And Bruce has has a vasectomy. -You're complete, you have six kids.

And you can't just keep having babies forever.

You could have a baby. There's an idea.

Hi, somebody could help me out here.

So you want us to get knocked up?

No, I don't want you to get knocked up.

I just want you to get the show on the road.

OK, go bug Kim and Khlo� about your baby syndrome.

You could just be a little more sensitive.

-Mm-kay. -My womb aches.

Eww, that's sick.

* Oh, oh, little baby *

* It wasn't so long ago *

Scott is really on my last nerve. He's just like being a douche.

[Khlo�] Why? What did he do? Tell me.

I don't know, I think he always needs attention.

Duh, you're not someone that's like,

-"Aww, it will be OK." -[Kourtney] "Don't worry."

What? Come on, I know I'm sexual, but stop.

-No. -[Khlo�] Here, sit on my lap.

-No. Uh-uh. -Come on.

-Come on. -Mm-mm.

Yes.

[Kourtney] I don't want to have incest with you.

-My little baby. -[Kim] OK, guys,

stop making out.

[laughs] You wanna barf?

Oh, my God, Sam came over and her baby was so cute.

-Mom asked me to have a baby. -[Kourtney] She asked me!

-She never asked you, Kourtney. -Bible.

-She asked me today. -You are the least maternal person ever.

-She asked me. -She is going through a mid-life crisis,

and just wants a kid around.

Oh, my Gosh. We should buy Mom like a talking parrot.

-[Khlo�] What is that gonna do? -She just has this like...

-Empty nest. -[Kim] Empty nest syndrome, yes.

-She needs someone to talk to. -[Kim] She's lonely.

-They say one word. -[Kourtney] OK, OK.

[Kim] Let's get like those babies they rent

in high school when they're trying to teach you a lesson.

[Khlo�] Do you think Mom will keep that thing?

[Kim] Look, people are really into getting monkeys and animals

and raising them as a kid.

"Empty nesters looking to relive all the fun of raising children

without relying on turbulent teens are adopting

some of our closest relatives, monkeys."

[Kim] Look at this website, you can

-totally rent a chimpanzee... -I'm sure that's like...

-...or a monkey. -...not legal.

-They're gonna drop a monkey off? -They do it for birthdays all the time.

[Kim] No, they come with a trainer.

I can't believe you can go online and just rent a monkey

and it shows up at your door the next day.

[woman] I would dress him up and he would drink from a bottle.

He's basically never left my side.

He needed constant attention.

Like, this is exactly what my mom is going through.

She needs something that she could get the feeling

that she still has kids there and life there.

[Kourtney] OK, let's do it. I would love it.

[Khlo�] Get the number.

Kourtney, I wouldn't have to bother you anymore,

I'd just play with the monkey.

-Thank God, get one. -Are you gonna get jealous?

-No. -I'll hug you until I get one, OK?

-[Khlo�] Yeah, that's true. -[doorbell rings]

-Suzy! -[Kourtney] Oh, my God!

-Suzy! -Hello.

-[Kim] Hi! -[Kourtney] Oh, my God.

This is Suzy.

-[Kim] Hi, Suzy. -[Kourtney] Hi.

[Kim] So, Steve the trainer comes over to teach us

how to take care of Suzy.

He shows us how to feed her, how to change her little diaper

the kinds of clothes she like to put on and just...

everything that we'd need to know about taking care of a chimpanzee.

-Aww. -She loves juice packs.

[Kourtney and Kim] OK.

[Khlo�] I know my mom loves kids. Her youngest kid is 11 years old.

There's no diapers, there's no strollers and all that nonsense.

So I think she forgets how much work a baby really is.

-Mom is gonna die. -She is gonna freak out.

I'm so excited.

[Khlo�] Hey, Mom! Come here, we have a present for you.

A prezzie, I love prezzies.

[laughs] Oh, my God.

What... What... Who is that?

-What is that? -[Khlo�] It's your new baby, Suzy.

Suzy has a diaper on.

[Khlo�] Suzy, look at Kris.

That's your mommy.

You guys, why is there a monkey in the house?

-[Kris] Honestly. -This is gonna be your baby.

-[Kris] Yeah, right. -Meet Kris.

[Kourtney] You've been talking about wanting a baby.

-[Kris] Hi, Suzy. -[Khlo�] She likes you.

Have you guys changed her diaper? Ooh!

[Khlo�] Not yet. We're leaving that all for you.

You get a monkey and you bring it over here?

Mom, you have empty nest syndrome.

OK, well, I kind of thought, maybe, somebody would have a baby,

-get pregnant, give birth. -At least she can't talk back to you.

She could just steal your cellphone.

I know I'm going through something, but a monkey is not the answer.

She's adorable, but I've gotta get back to work, so...

-She's gonna be all yours for one week. -[Kourtney] No, Mom...

-Khlo� is going to New York tomorrow. -Yeah, I'm not here.

The trainer is gone.

-Guys, I can't be taking care... -[Kourtney] We got this for you.

...of an animal.

Suzy's gotta go home now, Khlo�.

The monkey is paid for, so the monkey is staying.

Oh, my God, look. Look, Mom!

-Suzy! -[Khlo�] Wait, that's so cute!

-[Kris] OK, get down from Mama's bed. -[Kourtney] Bye, Mom!

-[Kris] Wait a minute! -Bye!

-I'll see you later, bye! -This is not funny! This isn't funny.

[Khlo�] Wait for me!

What am I supposed to do with the monkey?

[***]

* In a New York minute Life is changing *

* Never ending Time is wasting *

* In a New York minute Voice is calling *

* New York's falling I'm still standing alone *

-How long are you staying this time for? -Like three or five days.

I have a couple of meetings and stuff, I'm here for a work trip.

Well, we better get some dinners in

and I definitely want to take you out a little bit.

[Khlo�] Guess what? I set up a meeting with like

with a realtor and everything to look at places around here.

-Stop! -No, I swear!

That's a good... That's really... I'm speechless because that means

-there's a chance you're moving here... -I mean, we'll see.

[Jonathan] I hate when you get me all wound up and excited.

No, I finally told Kris that I was thinking of coming here,

just like looking, and she threw a bitch-fit and thought I was joking.

[Jonathan] I don't think she really thinks you'll actually move,

so if you do, which I highly doubt myself, because I know you,

-you're up and down, like a yo-yo. -I know, it's amazing.

You'll be moving back to L.A. before you even move here.

[Khlo�] Jonathan asks me if I'm serious about moving to New York,

and I expect these questions from my friends, they know how I am,

they know that I always come up with these fabulous ideas

and I just never proceed with them.

So, I'm not offended, but it just gives me more ammunition,

like, I really, really want to prove to everyone that I can do this,

that I can move here, I can start my line.

-You know what I was thinking? -What?

If, like, I move here and do my line and everything goes well,

wouldn't it be amazing if you were my PR person, for my line?

-I mean, yeah, it would be amazing, but... -But what?

[laughs] I don't think you're gonna be able to afford me.

All right, I love you. Do you need any help, should I get someone or no?

-No, I'm fine. -All right, I'll call you later.

-Love you, peaches. -Bye.

Ooh, champagne!

[Khlo�] The first thing I want to try to accomplish

in New York is, find an apartment.

I feel like if I come home and tell my family that I found an apartment,

they will really take me seriously.

You like that? It's kind of big, though.

Let's try it on, OK.

[Kris] I love being a mom.

I've been doing this for 30 years now, raising babies.

So, can you blame me just for wanting one little baby around?

Look, this is so cute. You're gonna love this, I know.

This is gonna be so cute.

Bingo! OK.

Oh, look. Look at the balloon.

Balloon. Oh!

Suzy!

Eat your breakfast, yeah.

Suzy is like an infant and I really forgot how hard it is to have a baby.

[Suzy squeaking]

OK... Suzy!

* I'm in love with a sociopath *

* I'm in love with a sociopath *

* She makes me happy *

I'm gonna kill my girls, because Suzy just does not stop.

You made such a big mess, Suzy.

Suzy, oh, no, no, honey. Honey.

* She makes me happy *

Oh, Suzy.

-I'm never gonna get any sleep. -[Suzy squeals]

-Hi! -[Carla] Hi, Khlo�.

-I'm Carla with City Habitat. -Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you. This is my assistant Tim.

Nice to meet you.

-This is Melissa. -Nice to meet you. Welcome.

My friend Melissa is going to come with me apartment hunting.

She's from New York and she's lived there forever

so she's gonna be someone great to show me what areas are great

and if I'm getting a good deal or not.

-Come on in, take a look around. -This is so nice.

-The elevator drops you off right in here. -I know, I love it.

This was the model, and the decorator Parisi decorated everything.

And he is in the process of just finishing.

[Khlo�] This apartment is totally my style. It's on the penthouse.

It's two stories, it's to die for.

-You have... -[Khlo�] Oh, my.

...an iron door and the elevator as well.

So someone could still look in and like [bleep] while I'm sleeping?

No, absolutely not, because they would have to have the key to do that.

Oh, cool.

There's no way this place is 2500 a month.

We have a little misunderstanding here.

-How much is it? -It's 25,000.

[***]

-Oh, wait. -25,000?

-Which is really a great deal. -[Melissa] That's your price range?

-[chuckles] No. -[quietly] That's a lot.

I think... When I sent you an email,

-I meant 2500 a month. -Oh.

The bitch thought I meant 25,000 a month for an apartment.

Would I find anything like this in my price range?

-Maybe not in this... -Well, um...

You know, I could make a few calls.

-All right, so that didn't work. -No, not at all.

[Bruce] Suzy!

We're here at the park, Suzy.

All right, we got jungle gyms, sounds like a good afternoon.

[Bruce] Who's stuck with the monkey now? Me!

I'm the monkey keeper. This is what my life has come to.

Come on, buddy, let's see what you can do. That's cheating.

-Come on, grab a hold of this. -[jiggling]

You got it. Right there, right there. Right there. Come on, get this one.

Get this one. Come on, get this one.

Actually, it's kind of a cute little monkey.

If you're into monkeys, I'm really not into monkeys, but...

Here we go! Whee!

Come here, come here.

Go like this, like this, like that. Like that, like that.

Whoosh!

[Bruce laughing] All right, let's sit over here.

Come on.

God, this is just like I did with all the little kids.

This little monkey at the park is just a ball.

I have a relationship with a monkey. This is kind of scary.

-Hi, guys. -So... we found... this place.

It's not as nice on the outside.

Um, it's...

-It has potential. -...it's more neigborhoody.

It has potential.

-So, it's actually below street level. -[Khlo�] Oh, my God.

-[Khlo� laughing] Is this private entry? -[Tim] It's private. Definitely private.

-It's vintage. -[Tim] Yeah.

[Khlo�] Sexy.

-[Khlo�] Why does it smell like this? -Um, I think they just cleaned it up.

-Oh, this is a clean smell? -Yeah.

[Khlo�] Oh.

-[Khlo�] What is this for? -[Tim] Just, um, protection.

-Just a little security. -[Tim] Yeah.

[Tim] 'Cause it's on the street, you know.

[Khlo�] Cute.

Um, and there's no stove.

But you could get like a hot plate or something.

-A what? -A hot plate.

[Carla] You know, it's a two-burner.

This apartment, it's sad.

Wait, where's the bedroom?

-Well, this is... a studio. -It's a studio.

[Khlo�] It's like underneath stairs

and there's like a homeless man sleeping in the doorway.

I fell like I'm in like a train station, there's like piping all in there.

It's just not normal that someone lives there. There's not even a bedroom.

You could get a Murphy bed. It pulls down.

This isn't like Sex and the City. Where's her place?

She doesn't have a lot of money. She only writes a column.

It's rent controlled, so...

If this is where I have to live in New York...

Kitchen table...

...if this is all I could afford...

This is like more than odd.

...then I won't be coming here.

Where's my airplane ticket? I need out.

[***]

[Bruce] Suzy, Suzy!

Suzy!

Give it to me. Thank you very much.

Clean your mouth off, and your feet.

That's good.

[chuckles]

-Honey! -[Bruce] Hey, babe.

-What? -Hi, Suzy.

-Honey, this is ridiculous. -Do you like Papa Bruce?

Kind of looks like Kourtney when Kourtney was little.

-Really? -Here.

No, Suzy. Suzy loves to play, honey.

-Have you heard from Khlo�? -No.

She should be checking in with me and telling me what's going on.

I don't see why she has the need to move to New York.

Come on. Kimberly, what? She was 18 when she got her first apartment,

by 19 she had snuck off to Vegas and got married.

The kids are growing up.

You gotta realize that every mother goes through this.

I mean, the kids leave the house at some point.

I think a lot of this problem is you.

Sometimes I think I just need to admit

and recognize that the kids need their space and they have their own lives.

I mean, I could be too clingy.

I admit that maybe sometimes I'm the problem

because I want to be so controlling all the time.

This is amazing. You're admitting you're the problem?

-Kind of. -[Bruce laughs] This is...

-This is growing up. -Don't spread that around.

[Suzy squealing]

-Suzy, come here! -[Kris] Honey, honey.

-Come here! -Honey, honey, I gotta go!

Bye, see you later!

I really don't think this was a good idea anymore.

I really should have researched it more online

before I told everyone I wanted to come here.

-Hi. -[woman] How are you?

Good, how are you? I'm here to see Daymond.

[Khlo�] Daymond John is this amazing entrepreneur.

He owns Fubu and Coogi, Heatherette, and a bunch of other lines.

I'm asking him questions

to make sure that I'm making the right step in coming out here

and if this is even the right time for me to start my own line.

You know, the main question is, you've been in the fashion thing

for a couple of years with the store.

You know, you're actually...

more important to designers than the designers are sometimes.

Because you're touching the consumer, you know what's going on out there.

So the question is gonna be, "When is the time for Khlo� to start her line?"

I know. That's what I want my next step to be.

-But that's also why I like... -It's time now, though.

-[Khlo�] It is. -It's time now.

Because you know, people are starting to recognize you, and recognize DASH,

and recognize the sense of style that you and your family have in general.

And I think that if there was any time, I think that it would really be now.

-Yeah? -Yeah.

[Khlo�] My meeting with Daymond, it really builds me up

and it makes me really confident, because he's so encouraging

and he sees that I could do this.

And so it really makes me feel like this is something I could accomplish.

-I'm not so nervous. -All right, good.

-Yay. -So...

-Have a great one. -Thank you. Mwah.

See you later.

[Bruce] Kourt's here, look out.

-Hey, Kourt. -This is Steve.

-What? -[Kourtney] This is Steve.

He's Suzy's trainer.

Hey, Steve.

-Suzy stay is over. -[Kris] Well, I don't want to see Suzy go.

Mom, you're the one who said that Suzy needs to get picked up early.

[Kris] I know. See you later!

-[Bruce] Suzy and I are out of here. -[Kris] Bye, Suzy!

[Bruce] I know, I know.

[Kris] I actually think having Suzy around the house

was a really great experience for me.

And I'm really glad I went through it because it's way too much work.

So, kids, you can all settle down now, Mama's healed.

-[Bruce] Come on. -Thank God.

-[Bruce] Let's get out to the car. -A good night's sleep.

Yes!

[Khlo�] This is nicer.

The realtor called me. I'm gonna look at these apartments with fresh eyes,

I'm determined to make this work.

So, I think this will be a great example

of a two-bedroom in your price range.

-Fab. -[Tim] So...

you have all of like the lower East Side and there's the park.

Oh, I love the park view.

[Khlo�] Another bedroom... Love.

I like this one, too. How much is this one?

-This one is 5550. -Oh, that's perfect.

-So I think it's the right price. -Yeah.

Perfect. I think I like this one.

[Khlo�] This apartment is perfect,

but I think I need to take a couple of minutes to think about it.

[Khlo�] Feels like home, thank you.

Am I really ready for such a big commitment?

It's really scary.

[***]

I love it! Thank you.

[Khlo� screams, laughs]

[Khlo�] This is to die.

-This is our last one. -[Kris] Hi, guys. What are you doing?

Lilly and I are just going over inventory and stuff.

You are? Do you like my new coat?

-Yeah, you look nice. -How was New York?

You know, New York was amazing, I had fun,

but then I feel like I don't want to come back here

and like share that with you,

'cause I'm like, "Why rub it in her face how much fun I had

and how great it was, and..."

Khlo�, I want you to have a good time, I want you to have fun and enjoy your life

and you can't worry about me and my feelings.

You have to go out and live your life and have a good time.

[Khlo�] And you won't get mad?

Well, I can't promise that I won't get mad, but I'll try.

I actually went apartment hunting in New York.

-Did you find anything? -I actually did.

But I didn't sign the lease.

I decided I don't want to rush into it, I wanna be really smart about this move.

I'm still thinking about it. It's still just thoughts.

This isn't easy for me to say, you know,

and I don't like admitting when I'm a little bit wrong,

but the truth is, you're 24 years old,

and it's time for you to do what you wanna to do in life.

And I just want you to know that whatever you choose to do

I will always be here to support you.

I'm so happy my mom is finally approving.

[Kris] I'm just glad you're home.

-I love you, Khlo�. -I love you, too.

I mean, it took her long enough to realize I'm a woman. Jesus.

-Cooties, Mom! -Eww.

-No, no, no. -Mom, stop tickling me!

[Khlo�] Next on Keeping Up with the Kardashians...

We're going camping!

[Rob] Adrienne's family is very conservative, very religious.

-[Khlo�] Bring some condoms! -This is not going well.

Would I like to get rid of some wrinkles?

Who doesn't want to get rid of some wrinkles?

Bruce has decided to go ahead with the surgery. It's a big deal.

[Kris] OK, you guys, ready? One, two, three!

[all] Whoa!