Original subtitles

[Khlo�] Previously on Keeping Up with the Kardashians...

[Khlo�] You know, I love the store, I'm so passionate about it.

But sometimes it does get boring.

* Boring, boring My life is so boring *

-[phone rings] -Hello, Dash.

I would love to just do something creative.

-These have got to go. -No! I like those.

-[laughs] Babe! -I like those!

You have a flower garden with some doves.

You're not gonna see that, the shirt is gonna be over that.

-OK, but then why do you like them? -Because they're blue jeans.

[Kim] Reggie and I have been together a little over a year and a half.

We're in a strong, committed relationship.

-Are you serious? -What?

Did you really leave the salad sitting here all day?

Oh, I forgot about it. Sorry, babe.

Come on, Kimberly.

-Come on. -Oh, shut up.

He lives in New Orleans and I live in L.A.

We used to see each other a lot more, but because of my schedule,

it's gotten a little tough to see each other and spend that quality time,

but I guess that's the price that you have to pay.

[Kim laughing]

[Bruce] What is this, the town hall meeting?

[Kim] Bruce, did you know we're going to New Orleans?

We're gonna cheer the Bush on.

Reggie really wants me to be there for his first game.

He needs the support, it's like a really big deal to him, and...

If I go, he says I'm like his good luck charm,

but if I go and they lose, then I'll be like the bad luck charm of all time.

You know, I get asked all the time,

"Does having sex hurt your performance on the athletic field?"

Please don't answer, we don't wanna know.

The only time it's gonna hurt is if you do it during the competition.

-[Kim] What? -Then it slows you down.

-After that, before and after, it's fine. -OK.

[chanting] Bush in the tush! Bush in the tush!

-[Kim] Not in front of Kylie. -Bush in the tush!

[all] Bush in the tush!

[Khlo�] Wasn't Kim's booty so much more jiggly?

[Kylie] Yeah, why is it not jiggly anymore?

[Khlo�] Because Kim is becoming anorexic.

Before it used to hang out of her jeans.

Remember? It used to like roll over, and now look, it is not even...

Nothing, there's nothing going on.

-This is like a boring piece of ass. -[Kim] I know...

[Khlo�] Oh, slap it, slap it, slap it! [laughs]

-[camera shutters] -[Bruce] All right, we're ready!

No, no, no, you're right here.

The wind, you guys... is this necessary?

Go change, awful!

No, that is not cute!

[Bruce] Yeah, yeah, yeah, go on!

I'm need someone to make me laugh.

Where's Kim?

[Khlo�] Kim is always late! Duh!

I'm here!

[Kourtney] Get out of our way!

[Kim] Stop! Jealous?

-[Bruce] Stop! -[Kris] That's enough!

[Kim] Stop!

[man 1] All right, you guys.

-[man 2] That's it! We're done. -[man 3] Money.

[***]

[Kim] Hey, babe!

I miss you!

You are so cute, see that face? That's the smile I know and love.

We need to iBone. [laughs]

Just kidding. [laughs]

Um, babe, you know your brother's birthday party?

[Reggie] Yeah.

I don't think I'm gonna be able to come.

I have this photo shoot and it's for this magazine,

and it's a cover and it's a really big deal.

And I just, I really have to do it.

OK, that's fine.

Thank you, babe. Thanks for understanding.

So much is going on, my life is so crazy busy.

I'm doing everything from great photo shoots in magazines,

another calendar, my shoe company with Robert Shapiro, ShoeDazzle.

I just finished filming a movie.

My career is just on the up and up and I've got this momentum going,

so no matter what it is in my life,

Reggie, you know, my friends,

right now everyone is going to have to understand

that I am on this train that's not gonna stop.

I need to be dedicated and focused at my career right now.

-All right, babe, I love you. -[Reggie] Love you, too.

[***]

[Khlo�] This castle is amazing. Look at this castle.

-That's where I should be living. -[phone rings]

-Hey, Beth! -[Beth] Hey, Khlo�, what's up!

Not much, what are you doing?

My publicist Beth called me and offered me this amazing opportunity

to go to New York and host a fashion show.

-[Beth] Oral B is a sponsor. -OK.

-And it's actually during Fashion Week. -In Fashion Week, like,

New York Fashion Week?

Yeah, and they want you to come and make an appearance.

No way!

Thanks, Beth. Yeah, I'll call you back soon. OK. OK, bye.

I mean, how cool is that?

-Wait, so what is it exactly? -She wants me to do the fashion show,

to promote our stores, to bring a different audience there

since everyone in New York obviously doesn't really know about our stores.

My stores would get credit and they're allowed to use my name

for the flyer, and I go in, kind of take a bow and leave.

Who wouldn't want a free trip to New York?

NYC, baby.

[Kourtney] Fashion Week is literally my favorite time in New York.

[Khlo�] Oh, it's so amazing.

[***]

[Kim] I already miss Reggie so much.

-When was the last time you saw him? -I went there a week ago.

-Oh, it's not so bad. -But then after this,

I won't see him until the end of October. I won't even see him on my birthday.

We're gonna have a lot of time apart, but it's gonna be OK.

We can totally do it.

-Lots of iChat. -[Khlo�] You have iSex,

-you told me you guys iBone. -No, we don't.

Kim takes vibrators to herself while they're on iChat.

-Wait, she takes what? -Vibrators. Look at her smile.

-You told me... -No, I don't.

You do what?

[man] Just a little to the side. Beautiful. Beautiful.

[camera shutter clicking]

[man] Beautiful, like that. Good shade.

Great!

Carol Baum just called.

Um, wanting to book you for the week of...

the weekend, right around the 6th.

The weekend you're gonna be away with Reggie.

-I was supposed to be there. -Yeah.

I know I should go to his game and I want to go to his game.

Um, work comes first, so it doesn't matter, just book it.

-And I'll talk to Reggie. -OK, I just wanted to make sure you're OK.

I feel really bad, but there's no way I can go.

I'm so busy and I just hope he understands.

[man] Really nice. And oh, take a step back.

Right in there, beautiful.

[phone rings]

Wow, that looks great.

-[Kris] Hey, Khlo�. -What are you doing?

So, Beth just called me, and she was like,

"Hey, what are you doing next week? Do you wanna go to New York

and host this fashion show? We're gonna make it to promote Smooch and DASH."

-Do you want me to go with you? -[chuckles] No, it's OK.

Khlo� has never done anything like this alone.

So you're gonna go to New York by yourself?

Yeah. It's OK, I can manage.

I could go, I could help you out if you need me to.

[Khlo�] What the hell is wrong with Kris?

I mean, I can't even go to New York by myself for a week

without her just being so neurotic and crazy.

I just get anxious, Khlo�, when you tell me these things

-and I don't know about them. -You're way too controlling.

You really need to focus on your other kids.

New York is fine, I can go alone.

-[Kim] Hi, baby. -Hi, babe.

I'm leaving you guys.

-[Kim] Well, babe, I miss you. -I miss you, too.

[squeaky voice] You look so cute!

So how hard has the training been?

It's been pretty tough. I'm sore at all times.

-Really? -Can't wait for our first game!

[laughs] I can't wait for your first game, too!

-I'm gonna be watching on TV. -You can't come?

My schedule is so hectic, I don't, I don't know.

It's gonna be a pretty big game.

But I don't think I can get out of everything I have going on right now.

Don't make me feel even worse.

I'm not trying to make you feel worse, but this is really, really not cool.

[***]

-[Kris] Hey, Klo! -[Khlo�] What's going on?

[Kris] Wow, how much stuff are you taking?

[Khlo�, squeaky voice] It's a little messy in here.

Oh, these are cute.

-Mom, I'm packing. OK. -Have you got all your...? OK.

-Have you got all your outfits together? -No, I'm doing it now.

All right.

All I feel is this hot breath down my neck like,

"Ugh, get your breath off of me."

-[Kris] I love this color. -Mom!

What?

You are not helping right now. I'm stressed out,

I'm doing something by myself and now you're like invading my space

and touching all my [beep].

Stop touching my [beep].

[grunts loudly]

I think you should... Khlo�.

Back off, bitch. You need to get a life.

-[Khlo� grunts] -Breathe!

Let me help, that's what I'm here for.

[***]

[Kris] Kourtney, are you gonna call those people

and see if they can get me some mediums?

Hello? Somebody pay attention to me, I'm the mom.

OK, I'm doing something.

Well, if these Spanx don't fit me, you can have them.

Oh, thank God, I got a pair of Spanx.

So, Kim, are you going to Reggie's game this weekend?

I can't go, I have that appearance.

-[Kim] Are you gonna say... -It's his first game.

-You can't not go to Reggie's first game. -[Kourtney] If she has an appearance,

-what do you want her to do? -[Kim] I have a contract!

-She has a contract, she can't break it. -Yeah, I can't get out of it.

Kim is definitely a workaholic, but at the same time,

she doesn't leave a lot of room for her personal life.

Kim, you just say to him, "Hey, I know it's your first football game

of the season and I'm not going, I have something to do."

[Kim] No, I mean, I have a contract, I can't get out of it.

What if he loses?

[Kim] So my mom explains to me how important

this season opener game is,

and how supportive I need to be for Reggie,

so I'm gonna try to go to the game,

but it's killing me to have to break out of this appearance.

You've gotta be there, that's important to him.

Mom is willing to give up her 10 percent to go.

[Kim] If she's telling me to go, I have to go.

[***]

-This place looks nice. -I hear it's Divine Design.

[Khlo�] Jonathan Cheban is a really good friend of mine,

he owns a clothing line called Kritik and he's also a publicist,

he throws events for amazing people like Jennifer Lopez, P. Diddy, P!nk.

Jonathan knows everything about New York.

He's like my personal tour guide.

-What is the vibrating on the table? -It's called a subway.

-I don't like the subway. -I mean, no one likes the subway.

What if you get stuck underground?

The best part about the subway, it has a lot of great parts,

besides the blackout, the no air-conditioning,

and the, uh, delay of trains, the best part is

when you're waiting for the train, you get to see rats running around,

it's like a zoo down there.

Like this is a rat tail down in the subway and I'm not kidding.

And you'll see this going through the things. [chuckles]

It's a gorgeous city!

I think it would be great if you came to New York.

-How fun would that be? -I mean,

when have I ever been away from my sisters?

No, but sometimes it's time to leave the nest, you know what I mean?

-It kind of is. -You're not a spring chicken.

Get it together, Khlo�.

[***]

-They do not give a... -Let's see if we can find a cab.

If worst comes to worst, we'll have to take a bus.

[whistles] You gotta whistle.

-Come on, you gotta raise your hand. -I can't whistle!

Come on. [whistles]

[screams] Ay, ay! [laughs]

[Jonathan] There we go.

Can I beg you for a favor? Um, air conditioning?

-Thank you. Aren't you hot? -Always.

-Why do you think I'm powdering my face? -I'm [bleep] melting, [bleep].

Oh, [bleep]. That's the heat.

-And by air-conditioning I meant cold. -[Khlo� laughs]

-[man] No, no, no! -[Jonathan] This one? Oh, my God!

[Khlo�] Dude [bleep]... You're freaking me out.

He's unbelievable, this guy. He's like a samurai warrior.

-Are you a ninja? -[Khlo� laughs]

I love New York, the energy, the people, the vibe, it's so different.

I love it here.

-Look at this person's boots. -[Jonathan] Yeah. Oh, my God.

She makes Cam look like Tiny Tim.

-[Khlo� laughs] -[Jonathan] Tiny Tim.

What?

My manager, Pliar, was able to get me out of my appearance,

so we're here in New Orleans for the game, and Reggie is so excited.

[Kim] OK, guys, I bought a whole bunch of stuff, let's get started.

It's the night before the game

and the players have to stay in the same hotel.

So we're at his house making signs for Reggie.

Should I say, "The Bush is gonna whoop your tush?"

[Javon laughs]

[Kourtney] Ready for the Bush!

Will this work for the game?

[Kourtney] She's gonna whoop your tush!

[Kim] So we're all making signs, getting ready for the game,

and I just have in the back of my mind,

"I really hope I didn't burn any bridges."

[laughs] You're too big!

Ready?

[singing] Ooh!

I really hope I didn't make a bad business decision by coming here.

[***]

-Hi, I'm Susan, we're directing you out. -Hi! Khlo�.

So after the segment, you'll come out, after the girls walk for their finale,

-then I'll send you out. -And I'll do my little, shin-ding.

It's so cool to sit backstage and just kind of watch it all happening.

It's so exciting, it's so glamorous.

Models, reporters, designers, make-up, hair.

I'm really inspired.

I actually love it here, it's so different than L.A.

-Are you gonna move here then? -I don't know, I'm debating.

-I'm debating. -Oh, no...

I think you'd be good here.

Good, I mean, I'm 24 years old, what am I gonna do.

[***]

[applause]

Watching all this and seeing all that's around me

and how every little aspect of it works, it just makes me really excited.

It's like, I want to learn how to do that,

I wanna learn how to be involved in all this more.

[***]

[fans chanting] Reggie! Reggie! Reggie!

[Kim] It's the season opener for the Saints

and the whole energy in the Superdome is magical.

[cheering]

Half the people in there have on Bush jerseys

with his number on it.

You kind of walk by, "Wow, that's my boyfriend everyone's cheering for."

[fans cheering, applauding]

[Kim and Kourtney screaming]

Whoo-hoo! Reggie scored the winning touchdown!

[all chanting] Reggie, Reggie, Reggie!

This was so amazing, I'm so glad I came to support Reggie

and I just can't wait to see him after the game.

[whistle blows]

-[Kim] Whoo! -[all laughing]

[***]

[Scott] Does Reggie get extra special bonus sex after he wins a game?

[Kourtney] He does.

The peak of my day was that you guys won,

and Reggie got the winning touchdown.

[woman] Whoo!

That was really exciting for me to witness.

[baby voice] And I'm so proud of you.

Spending time in New Orleans has made me realize

that I've been putting my career as my number one priority

and it's Reggie that needs to be my number one priority.

He makes me happy, and in order for all of this

to keep on going the way it's going, I need to kinda switch gears a little bit

and balance everything out.

Let's toast to the Saints, that they have the most amazing season,

-injury-free, and take them... -[Malika] God willing!

[Kourtney] Saints to the Superbowl!

...to the Superbowl!

[Scott] Whoo!

[Jonathan] We need a sweet sake. Are you allowed to drink yet or what?

Oh, yeah, I can drink and walk, I just can't drink and drive.

-OK, fine. -That's the difference.

[Khlo�] But first, let's have a toast, to New York...

[Jonathan] And the possibility of you actually staying.

I'll get into that after this shot.

Are you ready, Drunkie Monkeys?

[Khlo�] This whole experience in New York

has really opened my eyes to so many different things.

Ah, I feel like I found a new home.

After my fashion show and after all the stuff,

I just realized there's so many more opportunities in the fashion world

in New York for me.

I'm really thinking of starting my own line.

That's why I really, like, I think I wanna move here

and just like look into it and...

You need to move, so... And especially New York.

It's like the fashion capital of the world.

There's no way you're going to be able to do what you want in California.

It will never work.

The fact that I have to tell my mom...

When I left L.A., my mom was like in tears, crying.

She was at the airport, crying like the week before.

But get serious, Khlo�, 'cause there's no more time for games.

You really either have to do it or you're gonna have to go back

and run the clothing store.

You either want your dream of the clothing line

or you're gonna go back and practically be a salesgirl.

But seriously, like... [chuckles]

I'm so scared to tell my mom.

It's gonna be a shock to her, it's a really big deal.

I'm so scared to tell her.

She's gonna have a heart attack and she's gonna just freak out.

-What are you gonna do? -I don't know.

[Kim moans]

[Kim] When Reggie and I together,

I just get this feeling all over of just calmness,

nothing else in the world matters, just him and I.

Babe, it's gonna be so long until I see you next.

-I know. -We have to make it work.

Of course.

My schedule is set for the next...

[mumbling] ...next five months.

My schedule is set for the next two months.

-The second this is over... -OK.

-I'll be at every single game. -OK.

-And we're just gonna have to iChat. -You can just move out here.

-You can just move to New Orleans. -In two months I'll move here.

That's what I'm saying. Afterwards, you can just move.

-I'll come to every single game. -OK.

-OK? I promise. -All right.

-[Reggie] Mmm. -I'm tired.

Are we going to sleep?

-[Reggie] Shorty. -[Kim imitating] Shorty.

-[Reggie] Short stuff. -[Kim] Short stuff? You're hot stuff.

[Khlo�] I have an announcement to make!

I got these like antique Tiffany's diamonds.

You guys, everyone, atenci�n.

Look at me, I'm engaged.

[Kourtney] Kim doesn't give atenci�n very well.

Yeah. Hello, I'm serious. OK, guys.

I'm going to move to New York.

[Kourtney] Whoo-hoo!

I didn't think you'd like it, but I love it there.

The four Bs, Barney's, Bergdorf's, Bendel's and Bloomies.

-[Kim] Have you told Mom? -Um... [chuckles]

I'm so happy for Khlo�,

this is gonna be such an amazing life experience for her.

I just really hope my mom doesn't freak out.

[Kris] Hello...

[footsteps approaching]

[Khlo�] Hi, Mom.

Telling my sisters was the easy part.

Telling my mom, I'm a little nervous about.

I really have something important to tell you.

-[Kris] Are you pregnant? -[Kourtney] So say it!

No, I'm just fat, I'm not pregnant. Anyway...

I really think... No, I know that I'm going to move to New York.

There's just so many other opportunities,

like, to start my clothing line

-and doing all that and then... -Of course.

Buying an apartment for Kourtney to always stay with me at.

This is amazing, it's going to help our stores.

You could come and help me decorate, you can have a place to stay

-if you want to go to New York. -You're serious?

[Kris] You're really gonna move to New York?

I love it there.

-You're not going to New York. -Why? You're ruining my moment.

Are you so unhappy here? I make you miserable?

-Why do I have to be unhappy? -You have to move off to another city?

Why does this have to be about you? Snap out of it!

Ugh! You act like I'm going to Germany for 37 months.

I'm going to New York. First of all,

that doesn't mean I'm there and never coming back.

-[Khlo�] I'm going back and forth. -We go to New York all the time, Mom.

-[Khlo�] Kim's going Monday. -New York is our favorite place.

Calm down. If I love it and fall in love, I might stay for the rest of my life.

You guys, it's not funny. You guys are just a little selfish sometimes.

You don't think about the rest of your family.

[Khlo�] We're selfish?

You're the one who's telling me not to grow and conquer.

No, I want you to grow and conquer, I just want you to do it in L.A.

-[Khlo�] Come here, Krissy. -[Kris] Gotta go, guys!

Think about what you're talking to me about

before you start giving me this kind of information.

-She's psychotic. -[door slams]

[Khlo�] Next on Keeping Up with the Kardashians...

-[Kris] And why're you going to New York? -Apartment hunting.

You're not gonna be that far away from us.

Why do you wanna hold me back?

'Cause Mom begs us to have babies, we should buy Mom a talking parrot.

[Khlo�] A monkey is the next best thing.

-Why is there a monkey in the house? -This is gonna be your baby.

I'm gonna kill my girls!

[monkey squeaking]