Original subtitles

[cell phone rings]

[Khlo�] Hi, doll.

What's going on?

What? Are you OK?

I get a phone call from Lily that some really creepy guy

is trying to vandalize the store

and is cursing at Lily

and harassing her.

OK, I'm coming over there right now.

-Hi. -Are you OK?

Yeah. [sniffles]

This is crazy. What happened in here?

[Lily] OK, well, he came in and then I was just folding things,

he came in and he was like, "I need a dress".

I'm like, I just... I didn't know if you really knew him or not.

And he's just, like, walking really fast, went over there, grabbed some things.

He ripped a shirt.

-Totally was freaking out... -Is that his drink?

Yeah, he finally came over here, was playing with the mannequin,

and I told him to drop the mannequin, to leave it alone.

I told him to get out, and then he threw that at me and just ran out.

-He threw it at you? -Yeah.

It was just so crazy, I don't even know what to do.

Honestly, this is not OK.

Don't touch anything 'cause we're gonna call the police.

It's really frightening just to know that someone's

in your store, vandalizing it.

What if he would have hurt Lily?

[line rings]

[operator] 9-1-1, what is your emergency?

Hi, um, I own a clothing store

and it was just vandalized.

-Did this just occur? -Yeah.

OK, we'll send somebody out.

Thank you, we're gonna be here.

-OK. -Thank you.

They're sending someone here. They should be here any minute.

I'm so sorry this happened to you.

-Aw... I feel so bad. -[sobs]

[siren wailing]

-[officer] Hi, Lily. -Hi.

-[officer] OK, you know the person? -No.

Right. Gray sweatshirt, baseball cap...

Wearing a gray sweatshirt, totally casual, um...

[officer] What color is the backpack?

The color of the backpack is, like, a navy blue.

[officer] All right, I'm gonna drive around for a little bit

and go try to find him.

You always have to assume the worst in a situation like this.

Hopefully they'll catch him before he comes back here.

[Bruce] All right, we're ready.

No, no, no, you're right here.

The wind, you guys... is this necessary?

Go change. Awful.

No, that is not cute.

[man] Yeah, yeah, go on!

Yeah, I need someone to make me laugh.

Where's Kim?

[Khlo�] Kim is always late.

I'm here.

[Kourtney] Get out of our way!

[Kim] Stop! Jealous?

-[Bruce] Stop! -[Kris] That's enough.

[man 1] All right, you guys.

-[man 2] That's it! We're done. -[man 3] Money.

I can't wait to talk to Rob. I have such amazing news to tell him.

-Hey, Rob. -Hey, Kim.

So my friend David, that runs this modeling agency in Beverly Hills,

saw some pictures of you and I,

and he thinks that

you would be, like, an amazing model.

-No. -Yeah.

I could not... I can't do that.

I totally think that you should meet with him.

At least hear what he has to say.

So, if it's, like, a good modeling agency then...

It's really good and if they're calling to find you,

that's, like, amazing.

I was thinking, while my girlfriend Adrienne is in India,

I should do something to keep me busy.

Especially while she's gone.

So, I'm gonna definitely give it a shot.

So you wanna do it?

Yeah, if this doesn't interfere with my school.

All right, well, I'm gonna call him now.

All right, thank you.

[phone ringing]

[Kris] Hello.

-[Khlo�] Mom. -Hey.

Someone came into DASH and vandalized the whole store.

-What? -And threw water at Lily.

Oh, my God. I'm just shocked, Khlo�.

I think this is a really dangerous situation.

Go inside, Smooch, and lock the doors.

The incident at DASH freaks me out.

And it really proves that the kids

need to upgrade their security situation at the store.

I want all the doors locked, 'cause this is dangerous.

-[David] Hey, how are you? -[Kim] Hey.

-David. -How are you doing, Robert?

-Nice to meet you. -How are you? Nice to see you.

-Come on back, OK? -OK.

How are you guys?

-Good, how are you? -Good.

[David] So, Rob, you're in school right now?

-Yes, I am. -OK, where do you go to school?

-USC. -Well, I actually,

I talked to Kim because I saw some photographs of you

on her MySpace and we had a conversation about you

coming in here and meeting with us.

So, we'd like to take some Polaroids of you today.

All right.

Kim is the only one in our family that actually like, started modeling.

She's on magazine covers

and she makes money off of it.

Good money, so that's why

I listen to her advice and everything.

[David] No smiles or anything, OK? Just straight at the camera.

[camera shutters]

That's good.

Bring your chin down a little more.

OK, can you take your shirt off?

[camera shutters]

We're done.

We're gonna take a look at these Polaroids,

and then we'll be right with you.

[Rob] I'm pretty nervous because

I'm just hoping that they'll understand I have potential.

That I don't look like a fool in front of, like,

their staff and everything.

[Kim] I feel like now is the time. I say this to myself.

This is like the only time when we're young,

and you have this amazing body now.

We only have one shot in life.

OK.

So,

we looked at the pictures.

What we want to do is we wanna set you up with a test shoot,

so that we can kinda see how you photograph in a professional setting

and take a look at those pictures,

and then kinda go from there

and decide if we want to offer you a contract here.

-That sounds awesome. -[David] Cool.

[Rob] After everything is all said and done

I'm definitely going to take this modeling opportunity.

This is something that I wanna do on the side, definitely.

[Kim] Who knew you were gonna have a shoot already?

[Rob] I know.

[Kris] DASH got vandalized, it's horrible.

[Bruce] So what are we gonna do about all this?

Um, so, I made an appointment

for us three and Lily

to go get self-defense classes.

Um, I just think it's really important

for us just to know how to defend ourselves.

-Like you never know what could happen. -[Bruce] What are you gonna do?

I mean, I'd like for you guys to have something like that under your belt,

but it doesn't lend itself to taking care of somebody

that comes to the front door of your store yelling and screaming.

The girls are gonna take a self-defense class,

which I think is great,

but the problem is it's gonna take quite some time

to really perfect those kind of moves.

And I want the girls to be able to protect themselves.

Maybe actually taking a self-defense class would help prepare.

Who out of the three is the toughest?

-Me. -[Kourtney] Me.

-For sure? Are you joking? -Me.

-Khlo�. -[Khlo�] It's me.

[Bruce] Khlo�, I think she's probably the meanest.

Khlo� is the toughest.

[laughs] I don't know what we have with Kimberly.

I don't know, you'd hit him with your compact or something?

[all laugh]

First thing, when somebody starts to attack you,

scream and yell and kick and run like hell.

[Khlo� screams]

[screams]

[Bruce] That's enough.

-[David] Hey, Rob. -Hey, how you doing?

-Good to see you. -Nice to see you.

-This is John Russo. -Good to see you.

Absolutely.

So, he's gonna be taking some pictures of you today.

-Right on. -He's an amazing photographer.

[Rob] I'm pretty nervous to do this photo shoot

just because I have no idea what to expect.

-Are you ready? -Yeah.

OK, cool.

So, we'll get you then in your first outfit.

-OK. -And then we'll go ahead and start.

-Yep. -[camera shutters]

Yep, awesome.

Just like that.

Very nice.

We might have a little supermodel on our hands here.

[Rob] I'm feeling very at ease.

I'm starting to understand what he wants from me and it's not that bad.

We're gonna do body stuff of you next, so change into your underwear.

[John] Yes.

He's got the Kim Kardashian butt. Good for you.

[camera shutters]

[John] Look at you, you little supermodel.

[Rob] After everything was all said and done,

I started to get the hang of it.

The pictures turned out well.

From what I saw, I liked them.

Well, I wanted to ask you this.

-We got an email at the agency... -Mm-hmm.

...and it is for a job that is shooting in Japan.

Can I submit you for this project?

Yeah, I would love to.

I'm excited, I think it's very flattering.

You gotta travel while you're young,

like, go to different places, experience everything.

We're gonna try to get some of these pictures today

because these are definitely better than the Polaroids that we did.

-[Rob] Right, yeah. OK. -OK?

-[Rob] So, wow. -All right, cool. So, good job today.

-Thank you so much. -OK, we'll talk soon.

-Thanks, David. All right, now. -All right, take care.

Are you excited to kick a man in his groin?

-Yeah. -I am.

OK, that's the only reason I'm here.

[Khlo�] Me too.

Self-defense, here we come.

Oh, my...

-Hi. -Hello.

-I'm Khlo�. -[Nelson] Hi, Khlo�.

-I'm Nelson. -Hi, Kourtney.

And that's Kim. She's really rude, but that's Kim.

-Hi. -Hi.

-Nice to meet you. -Nice to meet you.

Why don't we start here. Have a seat here.

So, what brought you guys here?

[Khlo�] Um, we own a couple of clothing stores

and we've had some weirdos come to our store

and try to vandalize it and just...

[Kim] Things that scare us that we don't feel like we're protected.

[Khlo�] Yeah, we just wanna feel protected.

OK, let's start.

First strike is your butt strike.

Major weapon.

[laughs] Major for Kim.

[Kourtney] Kim will do that and she can just start running.

[all laugh]

Six!

Bring it up high and breathe out.

Oh, sorry I was...

You try to mess with me, I'll mess with you.

[Nelson] Good job.

[Khlo�] I think this class is going really well.

He is teaching us that our body could be used as a weapon.

You can't put your penis in me buddy!

Overalls, what a fashion statement.

Cute little farmer.

* Come on now *

* So put your hands up *

* Kill him, like we do it all day *

* Everyday *

[Nelson] Good job.

[screams]

* You got one chance, come on now! *

* So put your hands up... *

Hmm.

[grunts]

[groans]

Uh!

[laughs]

[grunts]

Strike a pose.

[screams] You got me!

By the end of the class, we feel really good.

I think that we can totally defend ourselves.

I think you did really well.

Didn't think Kim's butt was useful for anything

but now I know it's a good...

[all laugh]

It's a good weapon.

[Khlo�] Honey, we're home.

We just went to a self-defense class.

You did? What did they teach you? You wanna show me?

-What did you learn? -Yeah. Come here.

We get home from our self-defense class

and Kourtney, Kim, and I are so excited to show Bruce all of our moves.

I'm the attacker. I'm coming up to get you, and here I come.

[grunts]

Wait, why aren't you moving?

[grunts] Oh, OK.

Ooh, ooh, ooh.

And then I do this.

I pick you up and throw you down.

[Kim screams]

They don't work.

Bruce is, like, old and everything and they don't work.

You're suppose to go...

-[screams] You're too tall. -OK.

I feel like we don't know how to defend ourselves.

[screams]

[Kris] What is going on?

[Bruce] They are practicing their self-defense, honey.

-[Kris] Why? -[screams]

I just don't see how this is helpful for me at all.

Oh, my... Oh, my God.

I come into the room and the girls are showing their self-defense techniques.

I'm thinking we need to really step it up

and figure out something a little more powerful.

OK, you guys, I have a surprise, all right?

I need you guys, tomorrow morning at eight o'clock.

-[Khlo�] To do what? -[Kim] For what?

It's a surprise.

Why? What are we doing?

You'll see.

Now you can eat after you're done with your shoot, finally.

-I know, thank God. -Models have to starve.

I'm gonna be starving for a long time.

[laughs] How was your shoot?

-I thought it went really well. -Really?

I'm really considering doing it as, like, a career or a side thing at least.

Rob lets me know that David from the modeling agency

told him about a potential job offer in Japan.

What are you gonna do about school?

Like, if I have to go to another country to do something,

I'm gonna drop out of school.

-Really? -Definitely.

I'm gonna do it.

If the opportunity comes, I'll do it.

If it's something that you wanna do, I mean, I'll support you no matter what.

Kim has been very supportive of this whole situation,

and I know that school and education matters,

but you know, right now I just feel it,

and it's just something I wanna do.

I just don't see it hurting me. I really don't.

-[Kourtney] Mom! -[Kris] You guys ready?

[Kourtney] Ready as we'll ever be.

Where are we going?

We're actually going to a shooting range.

Oh, that's actually gonna be really fun.

Are you buying me a 24 karat gold gun

to strap on my inner thigh?

[Kris] I just don't think you guys are prepared

if something really serious happens to any of you,

I want you guys to put your serious faces on.

-Hello! -[Nolan] Hi.

-How are you? -[Nolan] Good, how's it goin'?

[Kim] Good, thank you.

I brought my girls in to do some shooting practice,

and somebody to teach us how to use a firearm.

OK, do you have any experience shooting?

-[Kris] No. -[Kim] I've never done this before,

and I'm really nervous.

Then I see all this, like, protective gear and it looks like so much fun.

I put it all on and it gives me this sense of empowerment

I'm like G.I. Jane.

[Kris] Kim, I know you're fashion forward,

but we're here to learn about guns.

I look over, and Kim is now accessorizing her look,

and I'm thinking, "This is serious."

I want you to learn something from this experience, not, you know,

wear the latest fashion in gun control.

OK, we're gonna go out to the range area.

When it's time for you to actually shoot the gun,

you wanna make sure that you're standing with your feet shoulder-width apart.

What I want you to do, is I want you to watch the gun,

to see how much the gun moves and how loud it is.

-[gunshots] -Oh, my God.

-OK? -We're not messing with you!

-OK, who wants to go first? -Khlo� will go first.

[Nolan] OK, slowly apply pressure to the trigger.

[Khlo�] It's just this rush of adrenaline.

It's not fun, it's scary,

it's just, like, almost anxiousness.

[screams]

[gunshots]

[Kris] The visual of my fashion-forward girls at the shooting range

is comical, very Charlie's Angels.

Nice job, girls.

I'm really happy that the girls are picking this up quickly.

Do you have anything more powerful than this the girls can try?

-[Nolan] Biggest and the baddest. -[Khlo�] Yee-haw!

-Bring it on. -All right, Kim. This one's for you.

Is this what they use, like, in the wars?

-That's the kind they use in the wars. -Really?

The instructor pulls out the biggest gun that they have,

and I'm so anxious to shoot it.

[gunshots]

[Kim] I'm glad we all learned a lot today.

Now I wanna check out getting each one of the girls

a handgun for their safety.

[Nolan] Three different types of guns, nine millimeters.

[Khlo�] Now just after one lesson at the shooting range,

my mom wants to buy us all guns.

I would never bring a gun into the store,

where my little sisters hang out.

My sisters and I definitely do not want guns.

Maybe we'll take baby steps and, for right now, we'll wait.

-OK. -[Kris] Thanks so much.

-[girls] Thank you! -No problem, have a good day.

-Bye, see you later. -Bye.

[Kris] So does anybody know why Rob wants to meet?

I think it could have to do with, um...

his new modeling career.

Modeling career?

Hey, Rob.

-[Rob] What's up, guys? -[Kim] Host the meeting.

[Rob] I have a flight in two days.

David from the modeling agency called

and said I got the job in Japan.

And I definitely am gonna do this.

This is too good of an opportunity to pass up.

I've decided I'm gonna go to Tokyo, Japan.

-I've already told USC. -[Kris] How long are you gonna be gone?

I already told my advisors I'm taking time off.

You're not dropping out of school.

-[Kim] Sometimes opportunities come -[Rob] This opportunity will not...

-and they won't come again, sometimes... -[Khlo�] Kim are you, like, OK?

You're encouraging him to drop out of USC?

[Kim] I don't think that he should drop out.

I think that he should, you know, stop the semester, go away to Japan,

and come back, and then finish.

I think it's crazy, irresponsible, and stupid.

And I think you have too much invested in your education at USC.

Your dad would be so disappointed, Rob.

[Bruce] Here's the deal. Bottom line is,

you're not quitting school, OK? You're gonna finish school.

You got a year... less than a year and a half to go.

[Bruce] Before Rob's dad passed away,

he made a promise to him that

not only would he get into SC and have the grades to do it,

but he would finish SC and we're gonna make sure he does that.

[Kim] Rob's an adult.

Well, obviously you need a little guidance,

because you're making a really stupid decision, OK?

And, Kim, I'm really disappointed in you for not being more on top of it.

You guys can sit and argue about this all you want.

I gotta go pack.

Leavin' in two days.

[Bruce] You don't need to be a male model, Rob.

Better be smart.

[Kourtney] So, Rob,

I had a dream that you...

decided not to be a male model and stay in school.

[Rob] Uh, dream was false.

-Rob. -Anyway...

So whatever happened to that... that guy who came into DASH?

[Khlo�] What do you care? You're not even gonna be here?

[Kourtney] You're gonna be in Tokyo, model boy.

I'm just worried you guys don't have enough security at DASH.

So why do you care?

I'm telling you, you should get some.

Well, the day that you stop modeling,

and go back to school, that's the day we'll get security.

I know my sisters are just trying to give me good advice

and watch out for me and make sure I'm making the right decisions,

but they're always trying to make decisions for me.

I think I need to speak with someone

who knows a little bit more about this situation.

[phone rings]

Hello?

-Hey, baby. -Hi, what are you doing?

Oh, you know how I've been doing all these photo shoots

-with the modeling agency? -Uh-huh.

So I call Adrienne to discuss

going to Japan to become a model.

I think it's a good idea. The offer's right.

Why don't you just do it right after you graduate?

That's only a year away, and you think your looks are going

somewhere from this year to next year?

No, I mean, my looks only get better, but, um...

They want me to go to Japan and do this, you know?

If a good opportunity comes, take it.

You're so close to graduating.

Have you really thought about this?

[Rob] Adrienne is really big on me staying in school,

so, I'm kinda getting nervous.

OK, I love you. I'll call you later. Thank you.

Love you, babe.

My sisters aren't listening to me at all.

They need a security guard,

so I come up with this idea

and I want Scott to be a part of this as well.

Does he want his girlfriend in danger? I don't think so.

-What is up? -What are you wearing?

This is my, uh, new get-up.

You know how Kourtney and Kim and Khlo� took self-defense classes?

Yeah, it's retarded.

What they need is a security guard.

We're gonna go rob them and teach them a lesson.

We're gonna go scare the [bleep] out of them.

Like, straight up, we're gonna walk in there, I got these fake guns.

-They're gonna know it's us! -We've got ski masks.

Covers your face, put it over.

-All you can see is your eyes. -Sounds kind of fun.

-It's gonna be so fun. -[laughs]

I think it's fun to [bleep] with them and, you know, just teach them a lesson.

I'm going in there for blood.

You got me involved in this.

-Ain't no turnin' back now, kid. -I know, no turning...

-No turning back. -No, no, no, no.

If we're good at it, let's really go rob somebody.

Cheers.

[dramatic music playing]

[Kim] So my sisters and I are at Dash late, you know,

past business hours... We have a lot of paperwork to do.

-[Rob] Let's line 'em up against the wall. -[Scott laughs] Hang on.

[Rob] So you gotta... We gotta get 'em.

Scott and I are all pumped up.

We've got all black on, and we're all ready to go.

-[screaming] Get down! -Get on the ground!

-[Kourtney] Scott? -[record scratch]

[Khlo� screams]

When the burglars finally start yelling at us to, "Get on the floor,"

I realize it's Scott.

I knew it!

-Because I could tell by his voice. -Get on the ground!

You know, this whole thing is just a big practical joke on us.

Amazing!

[Kim] Thank goodness, it's nothing real.

On one hand, like, I'm relieved that it's Rob and Scott.

Kourtney, would you be just kissing away if you got robbed?

She's scared!

But we're also kinda pissed, like, that's not a funny joke.

[Kim] Wait, why did you guys do this?

[Rob] No, seriously though, we did this to...

[Scott] Reality check. The Kardashians are going down.

[Rob] You guys have no security. You guys take this [bleep] as a joke.

You took martial arts for, like, what, an hour?

Rob, honestly, we could have had a heart attack.

You really could have hurt us with those guns.

-[Kourtney] Those guns look so real! -[Rob] They're fake!

You guys should have security, that's the point,

for us to teach you a lesson.

They're doing something to prove a point.

My brother is really concerned about us and our safety,

which is really sweet,

and we really need to take this seriously.

-We'll take care of it. -[Rob] You guys should get security.

-Don't even worry. -[Kourtney] Yeah.

We'll make some phone calls. We'll figure it out.

We are definitely hiring security guards

to be there at all times when we're there.

Rob, I can't believe you're still here.

I thought you were supposed to be in Japan?

No I decided to stay.

So I figured you guys would be happy and not mad at me 'cause I stayed.

My decision now is to not go through with the modeling,

and to stay in school and graduate,

just as my dad wanted me to do.

Adrienne's told me education is sexy.

[all laugh]

It'll make Adrienne happy, it'll make Bruce happy,

and the rest of my family happy.

[Khlo�] But Adrienne said it...

The point of this isn't about me, it's about you.

Staying safe in the hood.

One, two, hug.

We're glad you're back.

-Thanks. -[Kim] You didn't go.

-[Khlo�] Back and better than ever. -Ow, ow, don't!

-Neck respect! -Ow! Jeez!

I should've shot you when I had the chance!

[all laugh]

[Kim] Next time on Keeping Up with the Kardashians...

So I got a little crazy,

and a little out of control.

-[tattoo gun buzz] -Sounded like a good idea

after a couple of shots.

Then go get in the car and stop being rude and a brat. It's not funny.

You're trying to ruin my moment for me!

Kim is taking this situation way too far.

So get away, you jealous psycho bitch!