Original subtitles

This is so good.

[Khlo�] Rob's missing out.

[Kim] Yeah, where is he?

When was the last time he missed a Thursday night dinner?

[Kim] He always comes home with laundry.

He's had no laundry.

It's so weird.

So you need to learn these three things,

if it's dark clothes, cold.

If it's colors, go cold, warm.

Whites get washed in only hot water,

they're the only thing that gets washed in hot water.

-Okay. -Okay, go, what did I just tell you?

Uh, cold...

I don't know.

-I don't do this [bleep]. -Okay, just listen, listen, listen.

So I'm dating Adrienne Balion

and she is a Cheetah Girl.

It started off as the first musical on the Disney Channel.

They sing, dance, movies,

clothes, video games, you name it.

When I first met Adrienne,

I was so in love with her.

-Just make them all go in. -Let's go. Let's go.

I'm trying to find someone who is your best friend

and who makes you happy and who you can talk to

all the time, and that's Adrienne.

This is my first time I've been in love,

I'm starting to act as I was

before my dad passed away.

I definitely feel that my dad brought us together.

I tell Adrienne that all the time.

-We're getting ice cream everywhere. -Yeah, you're getting it on your face.

[laughs] Where is it? Fix it.

-No, you're stuck. -Fix it.

[Kim] Rob, I feel like we have to set up an appointment

to see you these days.

Yeah, where have you been?

Were you, um, studying for finals?

I haven't seen you in like two weeks.

I've been in school and with my...

I got a girlfriend now.

-Wait, you're like... -[Rob] Official.

-Exclusive and official? -When did that happen?

I'm very hesitant to bring Adrienne around my three sisters.

My sisters, they tend to

get too involved in my relationships.

-You guys aren't coming. -[Khlo�] Get dressed.

Robert!

We are the people that approve or deny.

[both laughing]

Why are you guys here?

You guys just made this so weird.

-Wait, you're like... -Official.

-Exclusive and official? -When did that happen?

Do you call each other your girlfriend, boyfriend?

Yeah.

-[Kim] Are you guys in love? -Wait, you're in love?

[Rob] You, guys, I got a tattoo to prove it.

[Kim] You did not get a tattoo.

I'll show you.

-[Kourtney] Robert! -Rob!

It's enormous!

No one's gonna see this.

You never take your shirt off?

All you do is take your shirt off.

You walk around in Calvin Klein's and no shirts all the time.

[Kourtney] We're like all in shock,

like is this a joke or something?

Her full name is tattooed on him.

And we are just like,

"What are you doing?"

You're just jealous because I'm in love.

[Kim] Whatever.

-Does she have one too? -Yeah.

So since we don't know Adrienne,

we decide to get to know her,

whether Rob likes it or not.

I'm gonna go use the restroom.

[Kourtney] Pass me that please.

[Khlo�] What are you doing?

Let's get Adrienne's number.

You don't even know her.

You're gonna ruin it with him.

Why are you gonna call her?

-I just want to get to know her! -Welcome you to the family...

If he's not introducing us,

we need to get to know her ourselves.

[Kourtney] He's not introducing us.

Because I don't know Adrienne,

I'm just scared that she will hurt him

and, like, that would just be devastating to all of us.

[Kim] Kourtney, you're crazy!

[Bruce] All right, we're ready.

[Kris] No, no, no, you're right here.

The wind, you guys... is this necessary?

Go change. Awful.

No, that is not cute.

[man] Yeah, yeah, go on!

Yeah, I need someone to make me laugh.

Where's Kim?

[Khlo�] Kim is always late.

I'm here.

[Kourtney] Get out of our way!

[Kim] Stop! Jealous?

-[Bruce] Stop! -[Kris] That's enough.

[man 1] All right, you guys.

-[man 2] That's it! We're done. -[man 3] Money.

[Kris] Kim, why are you eating cake?

Kim!

My entire family has been eating horribly lately.

I need to do something to get them on a healthy track.

You've got to stop with the sugar.

Really, I had no idea.

Stop with the...

[Kim] Mom, relax, I just had one small bite.

It's always one small bite, Kim,

and it just turns into about 62 small bites.

[Kourtney] So let's call Adrienne right now.

[line ringing]

[Adrienne] Hello.

Adrienne?

This is she. Who's calling?

Hi, it's Kourtney and Khlo�, Rob's sisters.

We were just calling, um...

because we just had lunch with Rob

and he told us how you guys are official

and we thought that maybe on your way out tonight

we could meet for coffee next to our store?

Um, sure, it's okay.

Okay, perfect, we'll see you later.

-Bye! -Bye, sugar.

[Kourtney] My family's constantly getting involved in each other's love lives.

My sisters just got involved with me and Scott

and we're back together now,

and things are really good.

So now I'm gonna get involved in Rob's love life.

[doorbell rings]

[Kim] How are you?

-I'm good, how are you? -Good.

I'm bringing in my trainer and my nutritionist, Kathy Kaehler,

who's gonna teach us how to eat a little bit better.

All right, what are you eating over there?

I don't even know.

What is this that you were just eating?

No, no, let me see that.

Do you have this stuff?

She's like... Look what she just ate for breakfast.

-Mom. Thanks. -Look at this, Kim.

Excuse me, who just took the whole piece out of the cake?

Who just made it?

[Kathy] We're gonna clean out all this stuff

that you should not be feeding, one yourself,

but let alone your kids!

[Kris] You're gonna throw all the stuff in my refrigerator away?

Yes! Yes!

[Kim] Wait, I like that stuff.

No, no, no, this is...

[Kim] I love those.

Kim, we are starting...

-Wait, I love to make biscuits. -These are done.

Look at this! This is...

Okay, honestly.

[laughs]

-I don't want you to have this. -But look, these are just for looks,

they're like real glitter eggs that you can eat.

If you're talking about cute little glitter eggs.

Where are your real eggs? Do you guys eat eggs?

We just used them to bake that cake.

What about having your own coop?

-Our own coop? -You got so much space here.

You could have fresh eggs every day.

[Kris] You mean like real chickens?

-Yes. -I love that idea.

-Really? -[Kathy] Right?

That's really a good idea.

When Kathy realizes that we're not using,

you know, organic eggs,

she said to me that the best thing to do for our family

would be to get some chickens

and have a chicken coop in the backyard

so that everyday we could have fresh eggs for our whole family.

This is not dairy, just FYI.

Whipped cream?

-Yeah... -[can sprays]

-Oh! -Stop!

Okay, but this gets hard and...

-Stop it. -Mom, stop!

Mom, stop!

-[Kathy] No, no, no, no, no! -[Kris] No! No!

[Kris] No! You would!

[Kris] We have to start eating healthy.

We're gonna have a new eating plan.

Oh, my God, guess what we're gonna do?

We're gonna build a chicken coop.

What are you girls talking about?

Kathy Kaehler was here

and took one look at what we had going on in this kitchen

and she was like mortified.

And we need to build a chicken coop.

[Kourtney] My mom wants to get a chicken coop

because one of her Beverly Hills friends

has a chicken coop in the backyard

of her $20 million house.

-Chickens are the dirtiest animals alive. -They're disgusting.

They're disgusting.

I hate chickens.

I won the Olympic Games

eating old eggs.

[Kris] I've got news for you guys,

-I'm gonna get some chickens. -[Bruce laughs]

I just really want to make sure that

Adrienne is, like, a good girl

and that she's not gonna break Rob's heart.

Now that he went and got this whole tattoo, I'm like...

[scoffs]

[singing]

[Kourtney] Hi.

Hey, babe, how are you?

We meet Adrienne and...

we're a little bit scared, like, "Who's this girl?"

Did she force my brother to get a tattoo?

We're really not here to, like, bombard you or scare you,

we just wanna get to know you.

[Kourtney] And you can not tell Rob because he would kill us.

-I feel bad. I can't tell...? -I know but...

-...just we'll tell him later. -I won't tell him.

-Just don't tell him tonight. -Okay.

Adrienne might be great.

They might really be in love.

So we just wanna feel her out and see what kind of girl she is.

[Adrienne] You know what's weird for me?

Is Rob is actually the first guy that I've ever introduced

as my boyfriend to anyone.

I didn't see Rob like that at first.

[Kourtney] Yeah, that's how it was with Scott and I too.

Because he was four years younger than me also.

-Ditto. -And I was just like, ah,

"This little boy, whatever."

Like it's so weird for me to say,

"This is my boyfriend, this is Robert, he's my boyfriend."

-Yeah. -Like, it's a big thing for me.

Are you in love?

Yes.

Rob is, like, to me,

really, really handsome.

I think you guys know your brother's a great guy

and I feel super, super blessed to have met him.

We just wanna make sure he doesn't get his heart broken.

I love that boy to death.

And...it sounds soon,

but something inside tells me that

I really do believe that Rob is the one.

He's great.

You can not tell Rob that we met with you.

Well, I'm not saying a word.

After sitting and talking with Adrienne,

she's actually the sweetest girl.

It's a really genuine,

good relationship.

-[Adrienne] Bye, babe. -[Kourtney] Bye!

Toodle-loo!

-[doorbell rings] -[Kylie] He's here!

Hey!

Hey, Rob... Oh, my goodness!

This is Adrienne everybody.

-Hi, guys! -Hey!

Hi, how are you?

Hi, it's good to meet you.

-Are you Kendall? -Yeah.

[Rob] Adrienne and I are together, I'm in love so,

now I'm gonna introduce Adrienne to my family

and we'll see how that goes.

-Isn't she more beautiful in person? -Hi, handsome.

Yes.

What do you think, girls? Are you surprised?

-She's even better naked. -[Kendall] Yes.

-You surprised? -[Rob] I'm just kidding.

-Robert! -Robbie!

-[Rob] I'm just kidding. -Why would you say that?

[Rob] I'm kidding. Do you know she's a Cheetah Girl?

I just saw the Cheetah Girl 2 movie.

[laughs] How embarrassing.

I think Robert, for the first time in his life,

has fallen in love.

You know, he's so comfortable with her,

it's really, really sweet.

Okay, I'll pick her up. Come on, let's go.

-Can you guys lift... -Let's go.

Oh, my God!

-Whoa, there. -Oh, the picture!

You're losing your girlfriend to your little sisters.

[giggling]

Robbie! [screaming]

[Kris] She's not a toy!

Kylie reminds me of me.

She's going to be an actress, watch.

-She should come with for the third movie. -She's too old, she's gotta get...

Oh, yeah.

The third Cheetah Girls movie.

I'm stealing your sister and taking her away

-with me to India. -The third one?

Where, you're going to India to shoot the third movie?

[Rob] I've only been dating Adrienne for three months

and all of a sudden

she is saying how she's going to India

and I'm just shocked.

I mean, it takes three months.

-Three months... -It takes three months.

-That's a long time. -I know.

I'm with you, like, every single day.

[Rob] I can't believe that this is happening.

I spend every minute with her,

and then to go from a minute

to, like, three months is just crazy.

If I wasn't with you every day,

would it be different?

Would it change?

No, I mean, like, yeah.

When I go home or...

Well, I really want to see you.

I'm always texting you like,

"Come home, come home, come home."

I need to, like, be with you all the time.

Rob-Dog's depressed.

[Kourtney] Why?

'Cause Cheetah nuts is leavin'.

Where did she go? Back to New York?

No, she's going to, um, India.

Do you think she's going to cheat on you?

She never would. I'm just very insecure.

I don't really think you have anything to worry about.

I think that she's...

-[Khlo�] She's really honest. -It seems like she's really an honest girl

-and that she would... -What the [bleep] would you guys know?

Seriously, you guys don't know [bleep].

When we were at lunch and you went to the bathroom.

Yeah.

I got her info out of your phone

and we asked her to come have coffee with us

so we could get to know her better.

Did you guys [bleep] it up or no?

-Obviously not if she's still calling you. -[Kourtney] Robert.

[Rob] Well, thank you.

I don't know what's the deal with my sisters

doing these 007 sneaky things to me

but they ended up liking her,

so I guess it made things easier for me.

And I don't think you have anything to worry about.

-I wouldn't stress about it. -All right.

Feed her.

Feed me some more.

[Khlo�] When my dad died,

so much of my brother disappeared

and I really appreciate Adrienne

for letting him play and be goofy

and just be so genuinely happy.

It's really sad that this is Adrienne's last dinner.

She's going to India for three months.

Adrienne, how far away is India?

How far away is it?

Fourteen hours for me from New York.

-We got a plan though. -But we got a plan.

We went and changed our phone plans. We have a global plan, right, baby?

-Yeah. -These kids live in cyber space.

I have the cologne.

[Kris] You're taking his cologne?

-Yes. -I'm a sucker for love.

[Kourtney] Hey, I didn't know I was going to a feed barn.

-[Kim] Yeah, cattle ranch. -How cute is this place?

My mom decides to drag us all

to this barn and get chickens.

It's so disgusting.

Oh, my God, that little chicken's cute.

Those are pigeons now.

[laughs] They're not chickens.

[cooing]

-Okay, I'll take all of those. -[man] Okay.

They're so cute, I want all black and white ones

-with like little red things on the front. -[man] Okay.

I'm not sitting here to buy a coop.

It smells

like a dinosaur's cave.

It's disgusting.

I'm not touching the chicken. It's gross.

[Khlo�] You're going to love it at our house.

[clucking]

No, what if the dog eats the chicken?

Come on.

Khlo�, she's jerking around.

What does that mean?

She wants jerk chicken.

-Khlo�. Khlo�. -[clucking]

Khlo�. Khlo�! Khlo�!

[screaming]

[Kris] Get the chicken.

[Kim] Kendall, I'm going to corner it. Get it, get it!

On that side.

Got it?

-I got it! I got it! -[screams]

[Kris] Will you help us catch the chicken?

Kim's got it!

[all screaming]

Come here, come here.

No, no, no.

No, no, it's okay.

It's okay, it's okay!

Ew, it pooped on me!

[Rob] When is your flight? In, like...?

When are you taking off?

Like, should be heading now.

Like right on time.

No, stay.

Don't go.

[Rob] I don't want this time to come.

I don't want this to happen but, you know,

she has to make her flight.

I mean, I'm not forgetting about my dad,

but she fills that void.

Um, so...

she just makes me really happy.

Don't cry.

I love you.

I just... I'm going to miss you. It's not that I think...

I just... I'm really going to miss you.

* So what do we do *

* From here? *

I love you!

* It's got us crazy *

[Kris] I'm going to show you guys

-what real fresh eggs taste like. -[Khlo�] They reek, they reek!

[Khlo�] Mom, these eggs better be good

after how those damn chickens smelled.

[Kris] The best eggs you've ever had in your entire life.

Okay, Kylie.

[Kylie scoffs]

These better be miracle eggs.

Now taste the ones that I...

cultivated and hatched.

I actually think this tastes a little dirty.

-[Kourtney] Yeah, I do, too. -[Kris] Dirty? It's the freshest,

most organic thing you guys can have.

You know, they have, like, a weird

scent and taste.

Yeah, I don't like it. Here, Nanny.

I just wanted you guys to, like,

eat something good in your life,

like some organic eggs.

-[Bruce] Get out of here. -Did she spit it out or no?

[Bruce] The dog will not eat the chicken eggs.

[Rob] Hey, Kourt,

I just dropped Adrienne off at the airport.

[Kourtney on phone] Aww.

You should just come over and take your mind off of it.

I just want to go to my place

and watch a lot of Cheetah Girl movies.

That's only going to make you more sad, Rob.

You should really just come over.

I'm sorry, I'm just...

I just need, like, to be alone for right now.

Feel better.

Okay, love you, bye.

-So I just hung up with Rob. -Mm-hm.

And I really think we need to do something.

I have never seen him this depressed.

[Kim] That's so sad.

But, oh, my God, I just thought of what we can do.

[Kylie] It's too cold for the chickens to be outside.

Chickens are fine. They stick together. They'll be fine.

Well, why don't we bring 'em inside? We'll put 'em in Mom's bathtub.

I feel bad for the chickens

so I decide to go with Kylie

and put the chickens inside.

And since my mom loves chickens so much,

I wanted to put them in her bathtub.

-Well, can you take this... -No, put him in there.

I gotta wash my hands.

I can't, 'cause you made me hug him.

Throw it. I'm wash my...

[screams]

Who did not help you in this?

-You. -Exactly.

[Khlo�] Clear any traces of my DNA in this room.

[chickens clucking]

It was really hard for me to get up

and take Adrienne to the airport.

I'm not going to be able to, like,

see Adrienne, kiss Adrienne.

It's just a miserable feeling.

* My poor heart *

* My poor *

* Heart *

[chickens clucking]

[Bruce] You've got to be kidding me.

Hey, guys, what are you doing in here?

[clucking]

You make a mess on me, buddy,

and you'll be dinner.

What's the deal with the chickens

in the bathtub?

-Kylie did it. -No!

Oh, you're ratting on her, whose idea? Kylie, was it your idea?

That wasn't my fault! That was all Khlo�'s fault.

Where are the rest of the chickens?

[clucking]

Oh!

[all screaming]

Honestly that is the most disgusting thing!

[Bruce] Pick it... Pick it up! Come on, buddy.

-[Kris] Get out of my house now. -[Khlo�] Oh, my God,

-I'm never eating eggs again. -[Kim] It stinks!

I knew this chicken thing was a bad idea

right from the beginning.

They are going back to the farm.

You want eggs.

And what you get? Poopy.

[Kris] There's not going to be any chickens.

That was not the great idea that I brought the chickens home.

You can't win 'em all.

-[Khlo�] Robert! -[Kourtney] Roberto!

[both vocalizing]

-Okay, sit down. -[Kourtney] Rob.

[Rob sighs]

We know you're having a rough day.

[Khlo�] We got you this.

You know, you guys shouldn't have.

We work really hard to support our brother.

Thank you so much.

What am I going to do with a video camera?

Open this and you'll find out.

You guys are too much.

What is this mumbo jumbo?

That's your itinerary to go to India!

[Kourtney] Air India!

[both cheering]

My sisters are so cool! I love 'em to death!

They are the best sisters in the world.

India is really expensive, A,

and B, I'm going to see Adrienne, who I love.

So I'm going to be very happy. It'll cheer me up.

Come here.

Give Papa a hug.

Aww.

[Kourtney] Papi Chulo.

Papi.

[Rob] That's what she calls me.

[Bruce] Girls, I got dinner.

I picked up dinner on my way home.

Got...

fried chicken, girls.

You did it, you, eat it.

Forget that chicken... bringing that chicken in the house.

-I didn't do it. -[Kourtney] Ew!

-Bringing that chicken in my house. -Khlo�, eat it!

And making it poop on the floor.

Helping Kylie with it.

-You gotta eat this chicken. -That was Kendall!

-Eat it! -Kendall did that.

-Eat the chicken! -No.

-The dog's going to eat it. -[Bruce] He'll eat it.

[Kris] Oh, that's so mean.

[Khlo�] She doesn't eat people food.

[Kris] It's going to make a run for it.

[Kris] Next on Keeping Up with the Kardashians...

Kim, I have a ton of other things I want to do.

Go do it all.

So keep your ass here

instead of coming once every two months.

Come to the store more

I need your [bleep] help!

Wouldn't it be great to have somebody dress you?

I don't want a stylist.

I need to get the inseam of your pants.

I don't mind going down.