Original subtitles

[Khlo�] How'd those work?

Really tight.

Try those, but I'll also go grab you another.

You want a darker wash?

You know, I love the store.

I'm so passionate about it.

But sometimes it does get boring.

* Boring, boring *

* My life is so boring *

[phone rings]

Hello, DASH.

You wanna buy it?

You're welc.

Kim's role at DASH was to be there

with me everyday and help me out.

See you later.

[exhales]

But...

-[man 1] Great! -[camera clicks]

[man 2] Blow hair, blow hair.

[Khlo�] Kim was sitting doing photo shoots

and lounging around and traveling from here to there.

You know, doing really exciting things.

And I would love to be doing that.

I would love to just do something creative.

[Khlo�] So what I was thinking,

I know some of my friends that go to this acting class.

Wait, so you really wanna take acting classes?

I think it would be fun.

You don't think I would be a good actress,

as dramatic as I am in real life?

No, I'd think you would be so good,

but I've never heard you say that before.

I think you should totally try acting.

-You would be really good at it. -[laughs]

Let me show you something. Give me your hand.

What, for acting?

Yeah, it's an acting trick.

Stop.

Wait. Just watch.

[laughs]

-It's an acting ste... -Kourtney, stop!

[groans]

[Kourtney screams]

Ow, your love bracelet really hurt.

[Bruce] All right, we're ready.

No, no, no, you're right here.

The wind, you guys... is this necessary?

Go change. Awful.

No, that is not cute.

[man] Yeah, yeah, go on!

Yeah, I need someone to make me laugh.

Where's Kim?

[Khlo�] Kim is always late.

I'm here.

[Kourtney] Get out of our way!

[Kim] Stop! Jealous?

-[Bruce] Stop! -[Kris] That's enough.

[man 1] All right, you guys.

-[man 2] That's it! We're done. -[man 3] Money.

[Bruce] Uh, honey.

-[Kris] Yeah. -Have you seen my sandals?

What sandals?

You know, those black ones.

Bruce is the anti-fashion,

he really is.

All right, I'm gonna run your errands.

You can't leave the house looking like this anymore.

It's so embarrassing.

You look like a grandpa.

[Bruce] My style philosophy is

whatever is on top of the pile,

usually it winds up on my body.

You look like you're representing

the homeless community of Los Angeles.

I'll see you later.

You know, Bruce, it's embarrassing.

[Kris] You know, there's only so much

that, you know, that I can take.

Ugh.

He's got clothes in his closet from the '80s.

Ew, yuck.

Turtle neck.

Wait, I could wear these.

Nah, maybe not.

Ugh, beautiful.

Hi, guys!

[Kris] Let's just get rid of it.

Let's start over.

You guys what any clothes?

Nah, I don't know.

No, not so much?

I'm gonna hire somebody who I've heard a lot about.

And I think that he might have a really good positive effect

on the way that Bruce dresses.

Wouldn't it be great

to have somebody totally dress you?

I don't want a stylist.

-You are not doing so good on your own. -I do not need a stylist.

[Kris] Well, you know what, yeah, you do.

Honey, you have a great sense of style.

You just don't know it yet.

[Khlo�] I've been thinking that I wanna start taking acting classes.

It's like, I'm at the store all the time and,

I'm just getting bored there.

I love the store, but it's like,

how long can I sit in an air conditioned box?

You would be a great actress.

And just doing something that I could use

my creative energy in,

so I don't have to kill my sisters all the time.

[doorbell rings]

[Kris] Hey.

-Hello, how are you? -How are you?

-You must be Eric. -How is everything?

-Yes, yes, yes, how are you? -Nice to see you.

Good to see you.

Eric has dressed people like J. Lo and Puffy,

and he's really a big deal

in the stylist world.

Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.

[Kris] This is Eric.

Yeah, Eric's gonna take care of me.

Well, yeah, I thought that he could take you out

and get you styled up, doll.

Where did you get that shirt?

I like the shirt.

I can't seem to get past it.

The shirt and the shoes match, see.

[Kris] I don't know how comfortable

Bruce is gonna be, having anybody dress him.

We gotta lose the shirt.

We have to lose the pant.

But then on top of that,

having this fabulous gay guy dress him.

-All right. -Where do we start?

-I'll take your measurements. -All right.

-Start with the neck. -Yes.

You've got really long arms.

That's sorta sexy.

Are you relaxed?

I think so.

[Kris] I want you guys to come out here and meet this stylist, Eric.

-He is fabu... -Why?

I need to get the inseam of your pants.

Okay.

I don't mind going down.

How about those Lakers, Eric?

Hey, hey, hey.

-[Eric] Yes, but the best... -Yeah, why are you so stiff?

-[Eric] I'm all fashion. -Calm down.

-Well, you know, let's go. -[Khlo�] Calm down.

You need a shot before you do this. You really need to calm down.

-[Eric] You know, let, you know, like... -Just relax, honey,

-It's going to be okay. -No, I really need to talk to you.

[Eric] I'm gonna bring in back a whole new man.

-I don't wanna do this. -It'll be fine.

-This is ridiculous. -Why?

-I'm not going with this guy. -We love to shop.

-You'll have a great time. -[sighs] How can I say this?

-What? -Uh, I don't want to dress too fluffy

and I think this guy probably would be a little bit on the fluffy side.

Give it a chance, he's really nice.

[Bruce] Eric seems like a nice enough guy,

but I don't think we are going to be playing golf together.

-[Kris] Thank you, doll. -Thank you. It'll be great.

-Have fun with him. -[Eric] Relax.

He's just a little uptight.

You'll be fine, baby.

[Bruce] No.

You wanna see this new watch I bought myself?

You needed another one, didn't you?

No, it's really nice.

Isn't it, like, to dive?

It is, that's a good one.

Where is Khlo� and Kourtney?

Um, they're in Smooch.

We were supposed to get this website up.

That was like, gonna be Khlo�'s responsibility, you know?

Literally, I think it's been five months.

I keep on saying, "The website will be up."

"The website will be up."

And it's embarrassing, and I'm, you know...

[Kim] We have been trying to get this DASH website done for so long,

and I, financially, am taking care of the website.

And Khlo�'s job is to

make sure that everything's done.

Khlo�'s really slacking,

and we're really missing out on a really good opportunity

to help our store.

Do you have the phone?

[phone rings]

[Khlo�] Hello, Smooch.

[Kim] Hey, Klo.

Will you come over here? You and Kourt, I need to talk to you.

Kimberly needs to talk to us, you and I.

She just hangs up on me.

Do I look fat?

Let me see?

Just like 20 pounds overweight.

[Khlo�] You're such a skinny bitch.

[Eric] Where are you going?

[Bruce] I'm gonna stop before we...

-[Eric] Are we getting out... -No, I gotta make one stop on my way...

[Eric] Are we making a pit stop?

I am in no rush to do this whole style thing and go shopping.

[Eric] This is not Beverly Hills.

It's time to stall.

Rich, what's happenin'?

How have you been?

I love all this technology. I gotta work on my setup.

This is weird.

[Khlo�] What's the emerge? What's the 911, hon?

We were supposed to do this website

maybe six, seven months ago.

It's really unprofessional of us.

This is the final step. I've done everything else.

-It does take... -Did you figure out

what inventory we want on the website and to get pictures up on the website?

What do you want me to do? Do that by myself?

Kim, you ******* think that this is so easy,

and like, there's a lot of other work.

It's not just like I have nothing to do all day long but a website.

I have a ton of other things I wanna do

other than sit here all day.

Like what?

Like acting, hosting.

I would love to be going to photo shoots all day long,

getting glammed-up like you.

So do it, no one's stopping you.

Go do it. But don't act like...

Who's gonna watch the store?

I'll do it. Go.

Okay, so go, I would love to see you do it.

Good, I'll gladly do it, I've done it eBay for years.

[Kim] If it's too hard of a job for her,

I can do it. It's not that hard.

Go do it all.

I am more than happy for you to go

-and do whatever you want to do. -I would love to.

So stay... Keep your ass here

instead of coming once every two months.

I'm calling Kris.

-[man] Right on. Right on. -[Bruce] Yeah. Save of a lifetime.

[Eric] I've been in the car for 15 minutes.

I got a tournament coming up, come on, Eric.

-I gotta hit, gotta hit. -No, we have to go, we, no.

Eric, if I'm going shopping, you're taking a swing here.

I'll take one swing.

Come on, full swing.

It's a... It's a photo shoot.

[laughs] Isn't that cute?

[Bruce] We're not looking for cute. We're looking for...

Well, I'm looking for cute. Let's go.

[Bruce] I don't think I can get out of this thing

'cause my wife won't let me and the kids won't let me.

So... [scoffs]

[Eric] We're here, I'm excited, it's a...

Oh, the things you do you do for love.

[Bruce] Right now there is a million other things I'd rather be doing.

You know I'm uncomfortable.

I don't want him to dress me like,

you know,

like he might dress, put it that way.

It's a great store. Men's collection's amazing.

I should start picking some things up.

These are really great over dress shirts.

Oh, it's so you.

Look at this trench coat.

Scarves are always great.

How about this bag?

A male purse? That's more you.

You would wear that.

Come on, you can't see me in that.

And that.

Oh, we're piling up, we're having a... This is great.

[knocks on door]

-[Kourtney] Hey, Klo. -[Khlo�] Hey, Kourt.

So it's your big night off.

You wanna go grab dinner?

-Um, actually... -Maybe a sake bomb?

No, I mean that sounds really nice,

but actually I found these...

acting classes.

[Khlo�] I think with my night off

I just want to try acting.

It'll be fun, just go to an acting class.

There is one tonight at 7:30.

-Klo... -No, you're coming. Sorry.

Oh, my God, I'm dying,

I'm shakin' in my boots.

We have two new actors in class tonight.

[Kourtney] Oh, I am a, I am a...

She is here for moral support 'cause I am shaking in my boots.

[Bobbie] All right. You should be.

-[students laugh] -Okay.

So let's have everybody on stage please.

Find a place for yourself.

What we're gonna do is

just to get a sound, okay?

Just take a deep breath

and let out a sound.

[all vocalize]

Okay.

Okay, Khlo�, I see you're already smiling,

and, um, there's no smiling, okay?

That sound, let's give it a word.

Um, "Hat."

What annoys you? Give it to the word hat.

And let it come from here, watch.

Hat, hat.

[both] Hat. Hat. Hat.

Stop laughing.

Brynn, set an example please.

What ticks you off?

Look where she goes.

[Khlo�] Actors really,

really take their craft way serious.

All right, go ahead.

Hat! Hat!

-Hat! Hat! -Cut. Cut.

[Khlo�] They start shaking and twitching

and having like, anxiety attacks

over the word "hat."

[students] Hat! Hat!

Hat! Hat! Hat!

-[Bobbie] Okay, cut. -[man yells]

I didn't know it was that intense.

[Kim] So I'm tired of waiting for Khlo�

to do the website and I'm gonna take matters into my own hands.

It's now my job and my responsibility

to take all these pictures.

I figure I can work a few hours

and get it done, once and for all.

Oh!

[Bobbie] This is what I would like to see

as... as a love scene.

As something very tender,

because you care about him

and you waited for him all night.

And you love him.

Action!

Where were you? You were supposed to call, I waited.

This is not a cop show, I don't need to answer this.

[Bobbie] Get in there! Get in there with him.

You're a liar and a horrible friend.

I don't need people like you anymore.

[Bobbie] Come on, Khlo�, get in there!

You never had a good day?

Oh, my God!

[crowd cheers and claps]

And the boy sticks his tongue down my throat,

which is not an acting rule.

[crowd hoots and howls]

And then if you don't do it right,

she makes you do it a million more times.

Action.

Can you see me?

-I'm in... -Can you see me?

Can you see me?

[crowd applauds]

There's just so much adrenaline going through my blood.

That's just crazy.

Like I can't think about anything but being there

and it actually feels good.

Is there a VIP changing room for us?

-Over here, this way. -Thank you so much.

Come on up.

I get VIP?

Oh!

This is nice!

-Hey, Eric? -Yes?

No peeking.

Why would I peek?

[Bruce vocalizing and scatting]

-[Bruce] Eric? -[Eric] Yes.

-[Bruce] Ready? -Yes, reveal.

[Eric] You look amazing.

Turn around so I can see those lines.

I'm looking in the mirror and you know what?

The old guy's looking pretty good.

[Eric] Oh, wow.

Now that's what I'm talking about.

* Putting on my pretty clothes... *

All right, to new clothes.

[Eric] That's pretty cool.

I like that trench coat on you. We should get that.

That looks pretty good.

[Bruce] You know what?

There's some pretty good stuff here.

[Eric] That is awesome on you.

[laughs]

All right!

[Bruce] I feel like a major movie star.

Rock with it! Roll with it!

This is the new me, babe.

I need this.

Just shut those girls up.

I realized, you know what?

I really didn't have anything to worry about.

Eric seems to know what he's doing.

[Bruce] Let's go, Eric!

We are out of here!

[Eric] Hm. We're going out.

We're gonna go to one of my spots...

-What? -...to have a drink.

After this, just to relax.

All right, just a quick one. Then I gotta get home.

Yes, I'll make sure it's quick.

-Okay, good. -Yes, I'm good at quickies.

[both laugh]

That's good to know.

That's good to know, Eric.

That's good to know!

[Bobbie] Kourtney, you wanna try it?

[crowd cheers]

Whoo!

Go Kourtney!

-Okay. -Double action!

Sisters, nothing better.

Oh, we're doing it against each other?

[Bobbie] Yeah, against each other.

Really get into a place.

Show her what you feel.

And action! Go ahead.

Stop wearing my leather jackets!

Your clothes don't fit me!

-Stop wearing my clothes! -Okay...

Say whatever you want.

Whatever is being felt just make it real, okay?

'Cause what I saw was ****.

Make it real.

Maybe it's not a heavy enough topic. Make it heavier.

Why don't you work more at the store?

[Khlo�] This is gonna be so easy for me.

I'll pretend it's Kim.

Call her on it. Action.

Why are you so lazy?

I'm not lazy!

I ******* taught you how to work.

Ow!

Come to the store more! I need your ****** help.

If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't have the ******* store.

[Kim sighs]

You can't work for a month

and disappear for two years.

We've been open for two ******* years!

Oh, got nothing to say now, bitch.

-[Kourtney laughs] -Come to work!

[class laughs]

[Khlo�] All those people are there because they love it.

That's their passion.

And...

they do not think that you look silly.

They're actually really supportive.

We can let loose and be silly

and Kourtney and I had the best time.

[applause]

[Bruce] I've never been here before.

[Eric] Oh, this is one of my favorite places.

-This is The Abbey. -Oh, really?

All right.

You can have a really, really amazing time.

-Really? -Yeah.

-All right, we'll sit right here. -Yes.

[Eric] This is my pit stop.

-[Bruce] This is your pit stop? -Yes.

Good.

In all the experiences

that I've been through in my life,

I've never been in a gay bar.

[men laughing]

[Eric] Whoo!

Hi, guys, how are you tonight?

-[Eric] How you doing? -[Bruce] Very good, how are you?

-My name's Josie, welcome to The Abbey. -[Eric] Hi, Josie, how are you?

-Bruce. -Bruce, nice to meet you. Josie.

-Bruce Jenner, right? -Yeah!

Can't Stop the Music!

-Awesome, gimme some... -Oh, Can't Stop the Music!

He's seen Can't Stop the Music.

A movie I did years ago.

A large gay following.

I did it with The Village People.

Yes, the star of Can't Stop the Music, needs a Corona.

Can't Stop the Music has become like a cult movie.

It's like The Rocky Horror Show,

and Can't Stop the Music.

They still show it in the theaters.

Can't Stop the Music.

[Bruce] Do you know what?

Eric was a great guy.

He's worked very hard.

The scary part is,

I'm actually excited about going home.

And when the kids and mom and everybody see the new clothes I got.

So all in all, it was a fun day!

-Good seeing ya. -Good seeing ya.

-You have a good day now. -Okay, you have a good day.

-Bye-bye. -Thank you for everything.

All right, I'm exhausted.

[phone dialing]

[phone line trilling]

[Kris on speaker] Hello?

-[Kim] Hey, Mom. -[Kris] Hey!

So I'm trying to do the descriptions for our website

for all this stuff and take pictures.

-Right... -I don't know,

am I supposed to like,

take down all the sizes that we have in the store?

I don't really know what to do.

It's a lot of work,

because it's a great amount of detail.

[Kim] I've been in this store for hours.

I'm exhausted.

My feet hurt.

Ugh, this is just like a lot more work than I thought.

It's just...

it's a whole process.

[Kris] One person can't take care of the entire site,

especially when you're setting something up.

Okay, Mom. I have a really long night ahead of me.

I'm gonna get going, I love you.

-Don't for... -[line disconnects]

This is so hard.

-Are you tired? -[Khlo�] Exhausted.

Oh, my God!

Bruce! Look at him!

Honey, meet me in the bedroom!

You really look like George Clooney!

I actually, I think, with the jacket, it's more Matt Damon.

Bruce looks so handsome, so fantastic.

Not fluffy.

And he looks like he really likes the way he looks.

So I think Eric did a great job.

Well, we went and got something to eat.

Yeah?

We went to this place, The Abbey.

Do you guys know what The Abbey is?

It's a gay bar.

It's kind of a gay bar.

-I didn't know what it was. -[Kourtney] Kind of?

But while I was there, at least I did get compliments

-on my shoes... -It's really fun.

-...and my sweater. -Whoa, whoa...

[Kourtney] We are like, in shock.

Like, is this the same Bruce?

I think that this new outfit

gave him a new outlook on life.

Did you take some people home from the gay bar?

No, I didn't take anybody home from the gay bar.

-[Khlo�] It's so cold. -It's freezing.

Oh, my God, where are the mannequins?

Really, that's odd?

Why are they scattered around?

Oh, my God, the door was open.

This is a disaster.

[Khlo�] Kourtney and I are opening the stores

and it literally looks like we got robbed.

[Kourtney] Well, who closed up last night?

[Khlo�] Kim did you leave the store like this, or did something happen?

I've been...

trying to take pictures.

Why would you leave

mannequins' arms everywhere?

[Khlo�] That isn't your home closet.

[Kim] I kind of have it a little confused,

but I will figure it out.

[Khlo�] Kim, we open in five minutes.

Okay, I'll clean it up. I've been here since last night.

It's taken me hours and hours and hours.

So are you admitting that it's not as easy as it seems

to set up a website?

[sighs]

[Kim] It's a lot harder than I thought.

I get that.

I'm trying my best.

I'm trying to make it easy on all of us.

[Kim] Khlo� works really hard.

And I need to give her a little bit more credit

for everything that she does,

'cause I certainly can't do this by myself.

No, I really appreciate you trying

and trying to help take some stress off of us...

I didn't realize how hard it was.

-[Khlo�] It is hard. -It's really hard.

[Khlo�] I think Kim is realizing

that it really is hard

and I'm not just ******* her

and making up stories on why the website isn't done.

Now I feel like all three of us could do the website together

and we'll get it done right.

Ooh, baby, I did it.

So, Klo, how was that acting class you guys did last night?

Oh, my God.

-What? -The most amazing thing ever.

I don't know, it's like, it was the scariest thing.

-I think I would die. -Wait, no, no, no.

And then, then she's like, "Okay, let it out of you"

Bobbie says, "Let it out."

[Kourtney] Khlo� got so crazy mad,

yelling at the person, like...

Everyone started clapping.

They were like,

"Yes, we just got it out of you!"

I know, the acting teacher was like, "Yes!"

[Kim] Khlo� totally inspires me.

I'm like proud of her because

I wish I could do that.

I wish I had it in me.

I just wish I could be like her.

Okay, they were like,

"Say 'hat' and be annoyed."

-Ready? -I don't know if I wanna do this.

And action!

Say hat!

Hat! Hat!

-Hat. Hat. -Say it annoyed.

-I don't want to... -[Kourtney] Like if we're like,

"You ******* fat-ass whore!"

You ******* bitch!

Chubby! Come on. Come on, chub-chub!

Hat!

Haaat!

Good job!

[all laugh]

[Kris] Next time on Keeping Up with the Kardashians...

[Tracy on speaker] Kris, this is Tracy from

the Los Angeles Sparks Ole Skool Crew dancers.

I'm going to be a cheerleader.

-Kendall? Hello? -What?

[Bruce] There's a 911 in my family.

My little girls are growing up.

When you first start your period,

you use a pad.

[Kendall] I'm calling 911!

[Kris] Oh...my...God.