All language subtitles for Hogans Heroes S06E23 Look at the Pretty Snowflakes.DVDRip.NonHI.cc.en.CBS.EN

♪ Let's take a boat to Bermuda ♪

♪ Let's take a
trip to St. Paul ♪

♪ Let's take a kayak
to Quincy or Nyack ♪

Carter! ♪ Let's get
away from it all. ♪

Will you stop that
singing, please?

How can I write to this bird

about how miserable I am,

if you're going to
sound so bloody happy?

And with that voice,
you shouldn't sing

where there's open food.

Oh, you're both just
jealous of my assignment.

Did you hear that?

He says we're jealous
'cause he's going into town.

That's a laugh.

The woods are
filled with SS men.

Right, and you're
going to have to walk

through two feet of
snow in freezing weather.

And for what?

To meet a girl from
the Dutch underground?

Who cares if she's a beautiful
dancer at the Hausnerhof.

Right, LeBeau?

Let's break both his legs.

I'll go along with that.

You didn't fool
me for one minute.

Hey, Newkirk, where do you keep

the old shaving lotion?

Not a chance, Andrew.

Hey.

Carter, you're still here.

I'm just about
ready to go, Colonel.

He tried to borrow some
of my after-shave lotion.

Use some of mine;
it's in my footlocker.

Thanks, Colonel.

Hey, LeBeau, what
are you cooking?

Coq au vin. Mmm.

You know, with
the food shortage,

Carter would probably
have a better chance

if he rubbed his
face with garlic.

Message from London, sir.

An all-out air
strike is on the way.

What's the target?

It's Mount Hoffenstein Pass.

It's just outside Hammelburg.

General Strommberger's Third
Panzer Division is moving up.

They're going to
try to knock it out.

Does that mean Carter
can't go into town?

Not with all that
bombing going on.

What's that for?

I want to get a
picture of Carter's face

when he hears the news

that he can't go into
town to see that bird.

You English are cruel.

Right. We still have
the hangmen, you know.

That's great-smelling
stuff, Colonel,

not that I'm going to need it.

Uh, I'm afraid I have
bad news, Carter.

The assignment's off.

What?!

Got it for posterity.

Thanks, pal.

Sorry, Carter,

but a big air raid
is on the way.

Maybe I can make it
into town before the raid.

You'd be killed by the
bombs on the way back.

Yeah, but if things go the
way I planned, who cares?

Well, look who's here.

Rudolph the red-nosed Kraut.

What's the matter, Schultz?

You look like a fat Popsicle.

Please, boys, no jokes.

You're looking at
a very sick man.

I have a terrible...

chest cold.

Why don't you go on sick call?

The doctor doesn't
want to see me.

He's afraid he'll catch my cold.

And the weatherman said
there will be more snow.

That's a blessing
in disguise, Schultz.

You'll be able to get
used to the weather

before they transfer
you to the Russian front.

Oh, you English are so cruel.

They still have the
hangmen, you know.

Oh, Cockroach.

Could you make me
a mustard plaster?

There is not that much
mustard in Germany.

Oh, Cockroach, please.

You are looking at a dying man.

Schultz, he'll make it for you.

Oh, thank you, Colonel Hogan.

Would you believe it?

I can't even smell
what you're cooking.

It's coq au vin.

Oh, my favorite.

Oh, please, rub a little
sauce on the mustard plaster.

And throw a few slices
of chicken on it, too.

And Colonel Hogan, please,

Commandant Klink wants
to see you in the office.

Yeah, tell him I'll be
right there, Schultz.

Ooh.

There's a bad break.

With that weather outside,

they're going to have
to scrub the mission.

Well, what about that
Panzer division, sir?

Maybe the
underground could help.

Why don't I go in
town, see that dancer?

In this weather?

You'll freeze to death.

It's better than never
to have loved at all.

Come in, come in, come in.

You wanted to see
me, Commandant?

Yes, Hogan, I would
like you and your men

to volunteer for an assignment.

What kind of an assignment?

One of our trucks
is buried in the snow,

and we need someone
to shovel it out.

Why don't you order
your men to do it?

Because my men
are guarding your men,

and it is very difficult

to hold a gun and a
shovel at the same time.

It's no problem.

We'll hold their guns for them.

I'm not in the mood
for the Hogan wit.

I'm merely asking your
men to shovel snow.

I'm sorry, sir, but I'm
going to have to refuse.

My men can't handle the
change in temperature.

It isn't that cold outside.

Well, I know.

They can't stand the
drop in temperature

when they get back inside.

Dismissed, Hogan.

Uh, of course, if you'd like
to throw in new overcoats,

new jackets, new woolen pants...

Oh, I suppose you'd like
to have them tailor-made.

Oh, no, we're not fancy.

We'll just take them
right off the rack.

Dismissed, Hogan.

Come in, come in.

Herr Kommandant, a General
Strommberger to see you.

General Strommberger?

I thought he was with the
442nd Artillery Division.

Oh, that's Bromberger.

Strommberger's with
the Third Panzer Division.

Ah, General Strommberger.

How nice to see you.

Who is he, your
information officer?

I'm Colonel Hogan,
one of the prisoners, sir.

I'm Sergeant Schultz. Schultz!

Dismissed, and
take Hogan with you.

Nice meeting you, General.

Your prisoners seem to
be well informed, Colonel.

Oh, not at all, Herr General.

The only information they get
is from our Propaganda Ministry.

Then how did he know
that I was commander

of the Third Panzer Division?

Oh, rumors.

You know guards,
how they gossip.

Well, then I'll give them
something better to do.

The road to Hammelburg
has been closed by the snow.

I need your men to
clear it for my Panzers.

Oh, that's impossible.

What do you mean, "impossible"?

Well, it would not
give me enough guards

to guard my prisoners.

Then get your prisoners
to clear the road.

I'm afraid that
can't be done, sir.

STROMMBERGER: And
just why can't you order

your prisoners
to clear the road?

It's against the
Geneva Convention

to force them to work.

Then offer them extra rations.

I'm afraid they
don't like the food.

How do they feel
about being shot?

Oh, I never asked them that.

That Strommberger's
a nasty one, isn't he?

Not exactly Smilin' Jack.

I want that Hammelburg
road cleared

by your prisoners
or by your guards.

If those Panzers get through,

they could wipe
out a whole division.

There may be a way to stop them.

Where are you going, Colonel?

Volunteer us for
some snow shoveling.

Klink, I don't think they
would be too happy in Berlin

if I report that you are
coddling your prisoners here.

Me? Coddling prisoners?

I run the only POW camp

where the barracks are
colder than the cooler.

Excuse me, General.

I just wanted to
tell Colonel Klink...

my men are interested
in making a deal

to shovel the snow
from that buried truck, sir.

What kind of a deal?

An extra blanket per man.

Agreed.

Never mind the truck!

I need the men
to clear the road.

Can you meet his deal?

Of course... I'll give you the
blankets and long underwear.

I'll give you long
underwear, blankets

and a basket of fresh fruit.

How about three
bottles of Liebfraumilch?

I give you... Klink!

You will have your men ready
to leave for town in a half hour!

Don't forget our deal.

Colonel Hogan.

Your deal is if your men
do not clear the road,

they will be shot.

I don't remember
that part of it.

I will tell you when
to get into the truck.

Come on! Stand
back, now stand back.

Line up and turn around!

Hands up!

Now turn around!

Somebody must have given
him Heinrich Himmler pill.

How would you like to be
shot as an escaping prisoner?

Not necessarily.

All we want to do
is get in the truck.

It's bloody freezing out here.

If you're looking
for a cigarette, pal,

I think they're in my
other pants pocket.

One more attempt at
bribery, and I will turn you in.

He's a jolly fellow, isn't he?

I think he's bucking
for president

of Martin Bormann Fan Club.

What is in that bag?

Sandwiches and hot coffee.

By order of Commandant Klink.

All right.

Everybody into the truck.

Come on! All right, don't push!

Come on!

All right, all right.
Raus, schnell!

Come on.

Schnell!

Hey, watch it! Knock it off.

You bloody Kraut.

Hope you lose.

You twerps!

Filthy Boche!

Boy, it's a good thing

you weren't holding
that bag of explosives.

Carter!

I'm sorry.

Why don't you go
on the Berlin radio

and broadcast the news.

Well, I said I was sorry.

Here, I'll hold the goodies.

Come on.

Do you think there's
enough explosives

to stop the Panzer division?

No, that would take
at least a truckload.

All we have to do is
stop the lead Panzers.

That'll block the pass.

Achtung!

Now what?

Everybody out of the truck.

Leave everything inside.

There's been a change of plans.

You will go in another truck.

The equipment will
come in this one.

Now out you walk! Heraus!

Oh, blimey.

Hey, that's our lunch!

Now it is my lunch.

Hey, what's the matter with you?

Uh... nothing, it's just cold.

Just stay there.

The other truck will
pick you right up.

There almost wasn't
anything left of us.

What happens when
he opens that bag?

You know, I somehow
don't think that...

that he will.

You know what I mean?

Well, there goes our truck.

There go my explosives.

There goes a wonderful guy.

There goes our lunch.

All right, everybody!

Out, out, out, out, out, out!

Come on out, schnell,
schnell, schnell, schnell.

Out, out, out, everybody out!

Come on, everybody, out!

Come on, let's go,
let's go, let's go, let's go!

Hey, look!

Hey, Schultz, is that
true... Dancing every night?

That's right!

This week, we are
dancing to the music

of Bertha Baumgarten
and her All-Girl Orchestra.

Sounds like a
swinging band, Schultz.

Oh, when Bertha blows
"Melancholy Baby" on her trumpet

she drives me out of my mind!

Any chance that we
stay and see the show?

Absolutely not.

We are going to stay
at the Hofbrau only

until the pick and
shovels arrive.

Now, into the Hofbrau...
Raus, raus, raus, raus!

All right, all right, we're
going, we're going.

I'm freezing. Hi.

Hey, look, Colonel, the
girls left their instruments.

Hey, we could have
a little jam session.

Not now, Carter;
come on over here.

Carter!

Put the horn down, huh.

It's my instrument.

Just one lick, Colonel.

Hey, they're playing our song.

My lips still have
that old magic.

Oh, boy, could I
go on now, Carter?

Yes, sir.

Thank you.

Now that we've
lost our explosives,

the only chance we have to
stall those Panzer divisions

is to do a lousy job
at clearing that pass.

Well, if you don't
mind me saying so, sir,

you couldn't pick a better
group to do a lousy job.

Yeah, I've never been
much for shoveling snow.

In my house, the nanny
always did the shoveling.

At my house, it
was the chauffeur.

I knew I could
count on you boys.

Achtung! Achtung!

Gather around, boys.

The commandant would like
to have a... a word with you.

Gesundheit, Schultz.

Thank you, Colonel.

Now, I've got good news
and bad news for you.

Tell us the good
news first, sir.

I've always liked to
hear the bad news first.

Yeah, I agree with Carter.

I'd rather hear the bad news
first, too. Now, wait a minute.

I'm a good-news-
first" man myself.

All right, let's be democratic.

We'll take a vote on it.

Everybody that wants to
hear the bad news first?

Everybody who wants to hear
the good news first? Uh-huh.

What am I doing?

I decide what I give you first.
Oh, what's it going to be, sir?

The good news first. And
what's the good news?

The snowplows have arrived,

and your men will
not have to go to work.

What's the bad news?

I caught Schultz's cold.

What happened to "Gesundheit"?

I'm sorry, sir... Gesundheit.

You think more of
Schultz's health than mine?

Well, Herr Kommandant,

I have always been
closer to the prisoners.

Actually, we figured
any germ in its right mind

would never have the
nerve to attack you, sir.

Schultz, load the
men into the truck

and take them back to camp.

Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.

Gesundheit!

I didn't hear you, Schultz.

Well, you haven't exactly
been showering Schultz

with the "Gesundheits"
either, sir.

All right, fellas,
let's go, let's go.

Let's go, come on..

All right then.

What now, sir?

We've got to think of
a way to stay in town.

How about slashing the tires?

No, too many trucks.

Colonel Hogan!

Please, come on, let's go.

In his truck.

In the truck, please!

Hey, look!

Look at that icicle.

Carter, don't touch it.

All that snow might
fall off the roof.

Yeah, Baker's right.

Colonel Klink!

Yes, what is it, Hogan?

I think you better
have a look at this, sir.

What do you want, Hogan?!

Just this, sir.

I wanted you to see
how dangerous it was

with all that snow on the roof,
but now there's no problem.

Gesundheit, Herr Kommandant.

I'll see you back at camp.

But Commandant, you're
not going back to camp

in those wet clothes, are you?

Colonel Hogan's right, sir.

With your cold, it
could be dangerous.

I think you have a good
point there, Sergeant Baker.

Slightest chill, sir,
could mean pneumonia.

Yes, yes, I do feel a chill.

I think it's walking pneumonia.

Me? Walking pneumonia?

You're walking, aren't you?

That's the first sign of it.

It's no more "Gesundheits."

It's "auf Wiedersehen."

I do feel a fever coming on.

Schultz, I think you
better get the commandant

to a hotel room.

You should be in
bed walking around.

Yes, Colonel Hogan.

Two aspirin

every four hours
with plenty of liquid.

And stay by his bedside.

You're very kind, Hogan.

That's all right, sir...
And don't worry about us.

We'll just spend the
night here at the Hofbrau.

You know, Schultz,

when you have a man
like that for an enemy,

you don't need any friends.

Beautifully handled, sir.

Yeah, we still have
to come up with a plan

on how to stop those
Panzers at the pass.

Well, we can think
about it tonight

while we're dancing to the music

of Bertha Baumgarten
and her All-Girl Orchestra.

There won't be
any dancing, Carter;

the place is closed on Mondays.

Hey, maybe one
of us could go out

and change the road sign, sir.

That'd reroute the Panzers.

Newkirk, the Panzers
don't read road signs.

They got maps.

Hey, I got it, Colonel.

What is it, Carter?

I contact that dancer
at the Hausnerhof.

She gets a message
to the underground;

they get a message to London;

then they could send
over a squadron of bombers

as soon as the pass is cleared

and the Panzers come through.

Carter, the reason they're
not sending the bombers now

is the weather's too bad.

Why don't I wait in
her dressing room

till the weather changes?

Oh, that could be spring.

I get lucky, spring will
be a little late this year.

It stopped snowing, Colonel.

Oh, swell.

I was hoping the storm might
slow down the snowplows.

Why couldn't I go out, Colonel,

disguised as a mechanic?

Yeah, check on those snowplows.

See, I could foul
the plugs, see,

and then they couldn't
get them started,

and then the pass
would be blocked,

and the Panzers
couldn't come through.

Carter, it's five miles
to the pass and back.

In this weather,
you'd be frozen stiff.

Well, I thought about that, sir.

I thought what I might do

is I might drop by
that old Hausnerhof.

I'm sure that dancer has a
heater in her dressing room.

I don't know about
the rest of you,

but he's driving
me bloody crackers.

Achtung! Achtung!

Don't tell me Klink
got out of his deathbed.

General Strommberger
wants to have a word with you.

Who cares?

Please, boys, do
me a favor just once

and line up here, please.

What's the lineup for?

Oh, "What's the lineup for?"

Please, Newkirk.

Whatever I ask of you people,

you never do anything for me.

I'm doing it, I'm
doing it. Achtung!

Chain these men together.

Just a minute, General.

That's a violation of
the Geneva Convention.

We're a volunteer work unit.

I am not interested in
the Geneva Convention.

If any of you made
an attempt to escape,

my guards would not
be able to shoot you.

So far, I'm with you, General.

But why not?

I have relieved my
men of their guns.

We have a report of a
threat of an avalanche

in Hofenstein Pass.

The slightest noise
could trigger it.

What? I mean...

What?!

It would take more
than that, Corporal.

Sergeant Schultz, you are
responsible for these men.

Jawohl, General.

Come on, Schultz,

you've got to be kidding
with these hokey chains.

Oh, Colonel Hogan,

I'm a simple sergeant
who obeys orders.

Yeah, well, take
these chains off,

and that's an order!

Newkirk, I'm in enough trouble
with General Strommberger!

Imagine, I had to come
all the way to Germany

to be in a chain gang.

Baker's right.

We're ruddy convicts.

We got to figure a way
to start that avalanche.

If we could only
get off these chains.

All right, don't panic;
we'll think of something.

Hey, what about
this cigarette lighter?

Oh, that won't give enough
heat to melt these chains.

Hold it, Carter, we're trying
to think of something, huh?

Sorry.

What I meant,

maybe we could start
a fire over by that wall,

and it'd melt the shackle off.

It'd be a little
obvious, wouldn't it...

Five guys running down
the street chained together?

Carter! You heard the Colonel.

You know you
can't play that thing.

Wait a minute, hold it, hold it.

We might be able
to use Hot Lips here.

Well, aside from driving
the enemy insane,

what do you have in mind, sir?

To trigger that avalanche.

Hey, that's a good idea.

Carter, can you blow a high C?

Are you kidding?

A lot of people say

I play the trumpet
a lot like Armstrong.

Louis or Jack?

Just listen to this.

Now, now, hold it, Satchmo.

I think that'll do it.

However...

let's have a little jam session.

LeBeau, take the piano. Right.

Hey, I'll handle the bass, sir.

I'll handle the drums...
Newkirk, you play anything?

Uh... yes, sir. I'll
play the leader.

If you'll follow me, gentlemen.

Follow me.

LeBEAU: Am I going
to be the last one?

Right, all move together.
All we need's Snow White.

This is fun, isn't it?

There we go.

All right, let's do
"Cherokee," huh?

Yeah, I used to get a
lot of requests for that.

Oh, swell. We'll
do it in B-flat.

I got the first four. Newkirk?

All right, gentlemen.

Two for free, and
away we go... One, two,

a-one, two, three, four.

All right now.

Higher!

What's going on?

What's going on?!

Oh, hi, Schultz; we were
just having a jam session.

Would you like to have
a little dance, Schultz?

The next one's
going to be a waltz.

Please, will you stop it?

The general...

Achtung!

Achtung!

Put down those instruments!

We were just rehearsing
for the POW prom.

Hey, if you're going to be
in town that day, stop by.

We're all going to be stag.

I know exactly what your
little plan was, Colonel Hogan,

but you did not
trigger the avalanche.

All you did was
break the window,

for which you will
reimburse the management.

Does the general have
any requests at all, sir?

We have a lovely arrangement

of "Deutschland Über Alles."

You may get that opportunity
sooner than you think.

Sergeant Schultz... Jawohl!

Load these men in the truck
and take them back to the camp.

Jawohl, General!

Well, we tried.

Oh, please, boys,
get into the truck,

or General Strommberger
is going to shoot me.

He can't do that, Schultz.

Nobody's got any guns.

Oh, I never thought of that.

Now's a good time to tell
him what you think of him.

Come on, let's
go, let's go, let's go!

Raus, raus, raus, raus, raus.

Let's go to the truck.

Let's go, let's go!

Can't you make it faster?

Come on, come on,
come on! All right.

Cold.

Look who's coming.

Colonel Klink, what are you
doing out of that sick bed?

Please, Hogan...

There's nothing wrong
with Colonel Klink.

Right, Klink?

Right, Herr General.

I have never felt
better in my life.

Klink! You fool!

Look what you've...

I think they're
playing our song.

Klink, you hear that?

You have triggered
the avalanche!

But, General, I...

I didn't mean it, Herr General.

Just a minute, Colonel.

You owe the general
one "Gesundheit."

Raus, everybody, raus.

And don't take all day to do it.

Well, don't rush us, Schultz.

We don't even have
to shovel this stuff.

Hey, and another
thing, Schultzy...

According to the
Geneva Convention,

prisoners do not have
to go out in the snow

unless they want
to play with it.

And the only reason
we're out here is

because it's warmer
than the barracks.

They're right, Schultz.

I think you ought to apologize.

All right, all right,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry!

I'm just obeying orders!

Schultz!

Oh, what does he want?

Come on, come on, come
on, come on, come on.

Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.

What is it?

Schultz, get some aspirin
from the dispensary immediately.

Oh, then you noticed, huh?

Noticed what?

My heavy eyes and my runny nose.

They're for me, stupid.

Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.

Colonel...

after you get that aspirin,

you ought to go to bed, sir.

Hogan, I don't see you
wearing a medical insignia.

Just trying to help.

You better get rid of that cold.

You don't want to
start another avalanche.

I didn't start the
avalanche, Hogan.

I shouldn't have mentioned it.

General Strommberger probably
gave you a good going-over.

Hogan, the general
knows as well as I do,

you cannot start an
avalanche with a sneeze.

Dismissed!

Okay.

Gesundheit.