Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:44,845 --> 00:00:46,761
♪ ♪
2
00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:03,378
Who's that officer?
3
00:01:03,446 --> 00:01:04,726
Never saw him before.
4
00:01:04,781 --> 00:01:05,981
What's he look like?
5
00:01:06,049 --> 00:01:07,298
A Luftwaffe colonel.
6
00:01:10,254 --> 00:01:12,404
Why don't we all write
down who we think he is,
7
00:01:12,472 --> 00:01:13,505
put some money in a hat,
8
00:01:13,573 --> 00:01:15,674
and then whoever guesses
right wins the money?
9
00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:18,877
I say he's here to arrest Klink
for impersonating an officer.
10
00:01:18,946 --> 00:01:20,786
I say he's Hilda's hairdresser.
11
00:01:20,848 --> 00:01:23,581
No. He designs corsets
for Hermann Goering.
12
00:01:23,650 --> 00:01:25,528
I think he's...
You're all wrong.
13
00:01:25,552 --> 00:01:27,130
He's Klink's former copilot.
14
00:01:27,154 --> 00:01:29,634
You can tell from the limp.
15
00:01:30,708 --> 00:01:33,228
LeBeau, turn on the coffeepot.
16
00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:42,717
Colonel Klink, I
am Colonel Becker.
17
00:01:42,786 --> 00:01:45,748
Ah, it's a great pleasure to
meet you, Colonel Becker.
18
00:01:45,772 --> 00:01:48,318
You know General
Burkhalter, of course.
19
00:01:48,342 --> 00:01:49,485
Of course. Ja.
20
00:01:49,509 --> 00:01:50,575
General.
21
00:01:50,644 --> 00:01:51,855
Good to see you again, Colonel.
22
00:01:51,879 --> 00:01:53,423
Won't you sit down, sir?
23
00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:54,913
Thank you.
24
00:01:54,982 --> 00:01:57,582
Uh, Colonel Becker,
would you care for a cigar?
25
00:01:57,651 --> 00:02:03,155
Mmm. We do not have such
fancy cigars on the Russian front.
26
00:02:03,224 --> 00:02:05,623
Oh, these are the first
cigars I've had in a month.
27
00:02:05,692 --> 00:02:07,259
Things are tough
all over, Klink.
28
00:02:07,328 --> 00:02:08,660
Ja, ja.
29
00:02:08,729 --> 00:02:10,707
Uh, General Burkhalter tells me
30
00:02:10,731 --> 00:02:14,566
that you are the commandant
of a POW camp, just like me.
31
00:02:14,634 --> 00:02:16,245
Not like you.
32
00:02:16,269 --> 00:02:18,353
He knows what he's doing.
33
00:02:19,622 --> 00:02:21,667
The general has a
delightful sense of humor.
34
00:02:21,691 --> 00:02:23,992
But I'm sure that, uh,
even Colonel Becker
35
00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:25,427
knows my perfect record.
36
00:02:25,495 --> 00:02:27,473
Not one prisoner has
escaped from this camp.
37
00:02:27,497 --> 00:02:29,347
It is hard to dig a tunnel
38
00:02:29,416 --> 00:02:32,233
when you're holding
your sides laughing.
39
00:02:32,302 --> 00:02:33,518
Burkhalter's hot today.
40
00:02:33,587 --> 00:02:34,764
You have
41
00:02:34,788 --> 00:02:35,921
a special assignment.
42
00:02:35,990 --> 00:02:37,567
I'm on my way to Berlin
43
00:02:37,591 --> 00:02:39,269
to deliver General
Krauss's plans
44
00:02:39,293 --> 00:02:41,171
for our new offensive
at Stalingrad.
45
00:02:41,195 --> 00:02:44,562
Who had "secret
courier" in the Kraut pool?
46
00:02:44,631 --> 00:02:46,409
Uh-oh. Here comes Schultz.
47
00:02:46,433 --> 00:02:47,499
Wouldn't you know,
48
00:02:47,567 --> 00:02:49,334
just when we're
getting to the best part.
49
00:02:49,403 --> 00:02:52,170
Colonel Hogan, Colonel Klink
wants to see you in his office.
50
00:02:52,239 --> 00:02:53,316
What's he want, Schultz?
51
00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:55,740
I know nothing.
52
00:02:55,809 --> 00:02:59,444
Yeah, um... you sure?
53
00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:00,578
I'm sure.
54
00:03:00,647 --> 00:03:02,480
I know nothing.
55
00:03:02,549 --> 00:03:03,949
Sir, I think Schultz here
56
00:03:04,018 --> 00:03:05,951
is one of those
sterling gentlemen
57
00:03:06,020 --> 00:03:07,730
who cannot be bought. Mm-hmm.
58
00:03:07,754 --> 00:03:09,354
That's not true.
59
00:03:09,423 --> 00:03:11,890
Every man has his price.
60
00:03:11,959 --> 00:03:14,359
And that's my price.
61
00:03:18,365 --> 00:03:20,832
I thought Colonel
Becker could tell Hogan
62
00:03:20,901 --> 00:03:23,335
about our advances
on the Russian front.
63
00:03:23,404 --> 00:03:24,547
Do you think it's a good idea
64
00:03:24,571 --> 00:03:26,071
to give him that
information, General?
65
00:03:26,140 --> 00:03:29,241
It is very good for
prisoners' morale.
66
00:03:29,310 --> 00:03:31,443
It destroys it.
67
00:03:33,313 --> 00:03:34,457
Herr Colonel.
68
00:03:34,481 --> 00:03:36,214
Colonel Becker,
this is Colonel Hogan.
69
00:03:36,283 --> 00:03:37,449
Colonel.
70
00:03:37,517 --> 00:03:39,150
Colonel Hogan, would
you do us the honor
71
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:40,496
of joining us for
dinner tonight?
72
00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:41,847
It would be my
pleasure, General.
73
00:03:41,871 --> 00:03:44,056
Colonel Becker is
going to tell us the truth
74
00:03:44,124 --> 00:03:47,326
about the German army's glorious
campaign on the Russian front.
75
00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:50,795
Why kill all your appetites?
76
00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:06,589
May I pour the wine,
Herr Kommandant?
77
00:04:06,613 --> 00:04:07,824
Ah, yes, you may, Schultz.
78
00:04:07,848 --> 00:04:08,947
Thank you.
79
00:04:09,016 --> 00:04:10,710
And Schultz? Yes, sir?
80
00:04:10,734 --> 00:04:12,762
You have gravy stains
on your serving jacket.
81
00:04:12,786 --> 00:04:14,035
Sorry, Herr Kommandant.
82
00:04:14,104 --> 00:04:16,015
It must be from
the chateaubriand.
83
00:04:16,039 --> 00:04:19,007
You were eating
the officers' food?
84
00:04:19,075 --> 00:04:21,960
Only in the line of
duty, Herr General.
85
00:04:22,029 --> 00:04:25,346
I always taste the food
prepared by the enemy.
86
00:04:25,415 --> 00:04:27,277
If they give you a
military funeral, General,
87
00:04:27,301 --> 00:04:28,762
it won't be from
the chateaubriand.
88
00:04:28,786 --> 00:04:31,302
It won't be from the
cherries jubilee, either.
89
00:04:31,371 --> 00:04:33,789
Just serve the wine, Schultz.
90
00:04:33,857 --> 00:04:35,223
Jawohl.
91
00:04:35,292 --> 00:04:37,759
Would you like
to test it, Colonel?
92
00:04:37,828 --> 00:04:39,294
Of course.
93
00:04:42,599 --> 00:04:44,911
Mmm. Interesting little wine.
94
00:04:44,935 --> 00:04:47,346
A little bit on the tart side.
95
00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:49,148
Uh, LeBeau, you're
a wine connoisseur.
96
00:04:49,172 --> 00:04:50,316
You want to taste it?
97
00:04:50,340 --> 00:04:52,056
Of course, Colonel.
98
00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:54,025
LeBEAU: Si.
99
00:04:57,197 --> 00:04:59,008
Mmm. It is on the sharp side.
100
00:04:59,032 --> 00:05:00,977
A rather impudent little wine.
101
00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:04,168
Oh. I'm going to taste it.
102
00:05:04,237 --> 00:05:06,357
Good idea. It'll wash
down the chateaubriand
103
00:05:06,390 --> 00:05:07,589
and the cherries jubilee.
104
00:05:10,761 --> 00:05:13,027
Ah!
105
00:05:13,096 --> 00:05:17,916
It's not a great year,
but, um... a good year.
106
00:05:17,985 --> 00:05:20,735
Just serve the wine, Schultz.
107
00:05:20,804 --> 00:05:22,453
Yes, sir.
108
00:05:22,522 --> 00:05:24,222
General Burkhalter.
109
00:05:24,291 --> 00:05:25,891
Thank you, Schultz.
110
00:05:25,959 --> 00:05:27,392
It's not our best.
111
00:05:27,460 --> 00:05:29,010
Oh?
112
00:05:29,079 --> 00:05:31,046
Just... serve the wine, Schultz.
113
00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:35,950
Herr Becker.
114
00:05:36,019 --> 00:05:37,469
Thank you.
115
00:05:44,194 --> 00:05:46,372
Go to the wine cellar
and get another bottle.
116
00:05:46,396 --> 00:05:48,829
I'm sorry, Herr
Kommandant, but...
117
00:05:48,898 --> 00:05:51,732
but this is the last
bottle in the case.
118
00:05:51,801 --> 00:05:54,246
I could have had a whole
glass if you hadn't tasted it.
119
00:05:54,270 --> 00:05:55,737
Come, Klink.
120
00:05:55,806 --> 00:05:58,406
I will choose another
bottle from your cellar.
121
00:05:58,475 --> 00:06:01,492
I'd like to see how you
rough it at Stalag 13.
122
00:06:01,562 --> 00:06:03,239
Could you excuse
us, Colonel Becker?
123
00:06:03,263 --> 00:06:04,362
Of course.
124
00:06:04,431 --> 00:06:08,299
I will keep the meat
warm in the kitchen.
125
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:09,648
To your health.
126
00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:12,370
No, no, to... to your health.
127
00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:18,109
Mmm. Now, this
is an excellent wine.
128
00:06:18,177 --> 00:06:20,489
How are things in
downtown Siberia?
129
00:06:20,513 --> 00:06:21,646
Not like this.
130
00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:23,148
We don't serve wine.
131
00:06:23,217 --> 00:06:24,660
If you served it at
room temperature,
132
00:06:24,684 --> 00:06:26,329
you'd wind up with a
Beaujolais popsicle.
133
00:06:27,654 --> 00:06:28,969
When I punish a prisoner,
134
00:06:29,038 --> 00:06:32,240
I don't send him to the cooler,
I send him to my quarters.
135
00:06:32,308 --> 00:06:35,076
It's a shame you don't
have Colonel Klink's setup.
136
00:06:35,144 --> 00:06:37,345
He'd turn down a
transfer to the Riviera.
137
00:06:37,414 --> 00:06:38,580
I understand you have
138
00:06:38,648 --> 00:06:40,448
a rather good
situation yourself.
139
00:06:40,517 --> 00:06:41,850
Me?
140
00:06:41,918 --> 00:06:44,129
Just a country boy
sweating out the war.
141
00:06:44,153 --> 00:06:45,686
You are too modest, Colonel.
142
00:06:45,755 --> 00:06:47,488
From your Gestapo dossier,
143
00:06:47,557 --> 00:06:49,724
I would say that
you run the camp,
144
00:06:49,792 --> 00:06:51,642
and Klink is your prisoner.
145
00:06:51,711 --> 00:06:54,356
Those boys at Gestapo
headquarters are much too kind.
146
00:06:54,380 --> 00:06:57,865
You could be of
great help to me.
147
00:06:57,934 --> 00:07:00,318
In what way?
148
00:07:00,387 --> 00:07:03,488
I would like to transfer
from the Russian front
149
00:07:03,557 --> 00:07:04,823
to Stalag 13.
150
00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:09,560
German personnel assignments
are a little out of my line.
151
00:07:09,629 --> 00:07:10,945
Think about it.
152
00:07:11,014 --> 00:07:12,980
I might make it
worth your while.
153
00:07:14,851 --> 00:07:18,686
I picked out a
fantastic Pomar '37.
154
00:07:18,755 --> 00:07:20,867
Ja, ja, it was my last bottle.
155
00:07:20,891 --> 00:07:22,424
Pour, Schultz.
156
00:07:22,492 --> 00:07:23,658
Jawohl, General.
157
00:07:32,068 --> 00:07:34,819
You clumsy clod!
158
00:07:34,888 --> 00:07:36,587
Sorry, Herr Kommandant.
159
00:07:36,657 --> 00:07:40,792
'37 was a great year for
wine, bad year for glass.
160
00:07:44,113 --> 00:07:45,575
Ah, there's something peculiar
161
00:07:45,599 --> 00:07:46,842
about this Colonel Becker.
162
00:07:46,866 --> 00:07:49,534
Because he wants to
leave the Russian front?
163
00:07:49,603 --> 00:07:52,304
He'd be a lot more peculiar
if he wanted to stay there.
164
00:07:52,372 --> 00:07:55,251
No, he wants to transfer
here to Stalag 13.
165
00:07:55,275 --> 00:07:58,042
Now, that's what
I call peculiar.
166
00:07:58,111 --> 00:08:01,145
I think he was trying
to negotiate with me.
167
00:08:01,215 --> 00:08:02,614
Why don't you make him a deal?
168
00:08:02,683 --> 00:08:03,848
You'll swing his transfer
169
00:08:03,917 --> 00:08:05,783
if he gives us a
look at those papers.
170
00:08:05,852 --> 00:08:08,185
I think that's the deal
he was trying to make.
171
00:08:08,254 --> 00:08:10,971
With your ingenuity, sir, you
could persuade Burkhalter
172
00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:13,120
to get Klink and Becker
to trade commands.
173
00:08:13,176 --> 00:08:15,810
Burkhalter would
never go with that trade.
174
00:08:15,879 --> 00:08:19,547
How about throwing in Schultz
and two vicious guard dogs?
175
00:08:19,616 --> 00:08:21,883
The whole thing
doesn't smell right.
176
00:08:21,951 --> 00:08:23,851
But it is a lovely way
177
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:27,121
to get a peek at
those secret papers.
178
00:08:27,190 --> 00:08:29,240
I got a better way.
179
00:08:39,286 --> 00:08:41,452
I still like the
other way better.
180
00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:43,021
What other way?
181
00:08:43,089 --> 00:08:46,090
Where you use your ingenuity
to switch Klink and Becker,
182
00:08:46,159 --> 00:08:49,427
and we're not out
here waiting to get shot.
183
00:08:49,495 --> 00:08:51,195
Here comes Becker.
184
00:08:57,337 --> 00:08:59,271
All right.
185
00:09:28,418 --> 00:09:30,418
Newkirk.
186
00:10:23,523 --> 00:10:26,558
Good evening, Colonel Hogan.
187
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:28,371
Uh, good evening,
Colonel Becker.
188
00:10:28,395 --> 00:10:32,480
Oh. Allow me to introduce,
uh, Corporal Newkirk.
189
00:10:32,549 --> 00:10:34,649
Pleased to make
your acquaintance, sir.
190
00:10:34,717 --> 00:10:36,017
I'm surprised at you, Colonel.
191
00:10:36,086 --> 00:10:37,318
From your reputation,
192
00:10:37,387 --> 00:10:39,331
I thought you'd be a
little more clever than this.
193
00:10:39,355 --> 00:10:41,567
Told you the Gestapo
had me overrated.
194
00:10:41,591 --> 00:10:43,441
Don't sell yourself short, sir.
195
00:10:43,510 --> 00:10:45,976
If you're so anxious to
get those secret papers,
196
00:10:46,046 --> 00:10:48,195
I'm still willing to
make a deal with you.
197
00:10:48,264 --> 00:10:50,593
You want me to try to
get you transferred here.
198
00:10:50,617 --> 00:10:53,968
Exactly. And you have
48 hours in which to do it.
199
00:10:54,037 --> 00:10:55,119
And if I don't?
200
00:10:55,188 --> 00:10:57,088
Then I will have you shot.
201
00:10:57,156 --> 00:10:59,206
You drive a hard bargain.
202
00:10:59,275 --> 00:11:01,642
So would you if you
were stationed in Russia.
203
00:11:01,711 --> 00:11:05,146
All right, it's a deal.
204
00:11:05,214 --> 00:11:06,214
Uh, Colonel Hogan.
205
00:11:08,218 --> 00:11:10,418
Briefcase?
206
00:11:17,127 --> 00:11:18,671
LeBEAU: It's a cold
morning today, huh?
207
00:11:18,695 --> 00:11:21,295
Yeah.
208
00:11:21,364 --> 00:11:22,642
You want some coffee?
209
00:11:22,666 --> 00:11:23,865
Oh, yes, please, LeBeau.
210
00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:26,568
And a couple of
eggs, over-easy, right?
211
00:11:26,636 --> 00:11:27,819
A little bacon, crisp.
212
00:11:27,887 --> 00:11:30,088
And a couple of
muffins, nicely toasted,
213
00:11:30,156 --> 00:11:31,956
maybe some, uh,
apricot marmalade.
214
00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:35,093
Hey, and see if you can
find a kipper or two, will you?
215
00:11:35,161 --> 00:11:37,106
You're trying to
tell me something.
216
00:11:37,130 --> 00:11:40,331
You're facing a firing squad,
and this is your last meal.
217
00:11:40,399 --> 00:11:43,134
I've got to get me
strength back, ain't I, Louis?
218
00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:45,169
That was a very
harrowing experience
219
00:11:45,238 --> 00:11:47,371
looking down the
barrel of that Luger.
220
00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:48,956
Carter.
221
00:11:49,025 --> 00:11:50,858
Check on Becker?
222
00:11:50,927 --> 00:11:52,359
Uh, yes, sir.
223
00:11:52,428 --> 00:11:54,139
He's spending the morning
in town with Burkhalter.
224
00:11:54,163 --> 00:11:55,696
Good. Thanks, LeBeau.
225
00:11:55,765 --> 00:11:56,864
Welcome.
226
00:11:56,933 --> 00:11:58,599
Gentlemen, I've
reached a decision.
227
00:11:58,668 --> 00:12:00,267
We got to sell out Klink.
228
00:12:00,336 --> 00:12:01,981
Oh, what a shame.
229
00:12:02,005 --> 00:12:03,382
Yeah, couldn't
happen to a nicer guy.
230
00:12:03,406 --> 00:12:05,050
I worship the ground
that's coming to him.
231
00:12:05,074 --> 00:12:06,340
I mean, get him transferred.
232
00:12:06,409 --> 00:12:07,675
You're kidding.
233
00:12:07,761 --> 00:12:10,578
That information Becker's
carrying could change the war.
234
00:12:10,646 --> 00:12:12,191
What about our operation here?
235
00:12:12,215 --> 00:12:13,748
It's not gonna be easy.
236
00:12:13,817 --> 00:12:16,150
With Becker in Klink's place,
it's gonna make it tougher.
237
00:12:16,219 --> 00:12:17,730
Yeah, you got to get up early
238
00:12:17,754 --> 00:12:19,214
in the morning to fool him.
239
00:12:19,238 --> 00:12:21,622
Yeah, with Klink, you
could sleep till midnight.
240
00:12:21,691 --> 00:12:24,070
Sir, you're never gonna
get Klink to the Russian front.
241
00:12:24,094 --> 00:12:26,627
Oh. What makes you so sure?
242
00:12:26,696 --> 00:12:27,976
Well, for a starter,
243
00:12:28,031 --> 00:12:29,608
he'll never survive
the heart attack
244
00:12:29,632 --> 00:12:30,776
he's gonna have
245
00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:32,177
when he gets
news of his transfer.
246
00:12:32,201 --> 00:12:33,395
And if he does,
247
00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:34,730
the Germans would
never send him.
248
00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:35,965
Why not?
249
00:12:35,989 --> 00:12:37,733
Well, it's not a good
image for a commandant
250
00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:39,402
to be marched to
the front at gunpoint.
251
00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:42,326
That's why we got to get
Klink to request the transfer.
252
00:12:42,395 --> 00:12:44,841
Well, for that, you'll
need a ruddy ventriloquist.
253
00:12:44,865 --> 00:12:47,998
For that we need Olga Meisner.
254
00:12:48,067 --> 00:12:49,494
The girl who works
for the underground.
255
00:12:49,518 --> 00:12:50,596
Why Olga?
256
00:12:50,620 --> 00:12:52,086
Because she's a good agent,
257
00:12:52,154 --> 00:12:54,254
speaks Russian
and has great legs.
258
00:13:01,564 --> 00:13:03,042
Excuse me, Colonel.
Hogan, I am busy.
259
00:13:03,066 --> 00:13:04,306
I do not wish to see you today.
260
00:13:04,334 --> 00:13:05,266
As a matter of fact,
261
00:13:05,335 --> 00:13:06,634
I do not wish to
see you any day.
262
00:13:06,702 --> 00:13:08,547
Since we're being
honest, I'm not too thrilled
263
00:13:08,571 --> 00:13:09,581
at seeing you, either.
264
00:13:09,605 --> 00:13:10,916
I was looking for
Colonel Becker.
265
00:13:10,940 --> 00:13:12,618
He and General
Burkhalter are in town.
266
00:13:12,642 --> 00:13:13,841
Dismissed.
267
00:13:13,910 --> 00:13:16,070
I wanted to thank him
for a delightful evening.
268
00:13:16,095 --> 00:13:17,295
Why thank him?
269
00:13:17,363 --> 00:13:18,696
It was my wine.
270
00:13:18,764 --> 00:13:20,075
He told all those funny stories
271
00:13:20,099 --> 00:13:22,377
about the Russian front.
272
00:13:22,401 --> 00:13:25,069
German troops are
eating their cartridge belts,
273
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:27,071
marching in snow
up to their waists,
274
00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:29,406
fighting night and
day in raging blizzards.
275
00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:30,975
You call those funny stories?
276
00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:32,643
I laughed.
277
00:13:32,712 --> 00:13:34,545
Dismissed.
278
00:13:34,613 --> 00:13:37,131
You're not gonna believe
all that stuff, are you?
279
00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:38,733
I do not wish to discuss it.
280
00:13:38,802 --> 00:13:40,217
Well, I happen to know
281
00:13:40,286 --> 00:13:42,553
that your German
officers are fraternizing
282
00:13:42,622 --> 00:13:44,467
with the beautiful
Russian women.
283
00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:46,101
The vodka is
flowing like the Bulga.
284
00:13:46,125 --> 00:13:47,470
There are parties every night.
285
00:13:47,494 --> 00:13:48,738
They're having a ball.
286
00:13:48,762 --> 00:13:51,929
Ha. German officers do not
fraternize with Russian women.
287
00:13:53,266 --> 00:13:55,177
I can see they sucked
you in like everybody else.
288
00:13:55,201 --> 00:13:56,400
Hogan,
289
00:13:56,469 --> 00:13:58,447
anyone returning
from the Russian front
290
00:13:58,471 --> 00:14:00,571
tells the same stories
as Colonel Becker.
291
00:14:00,639 --> 00:14:02,006
Of course.
292
00:14:02,075 --> 00:14:04,592
When you got a good thing
going, you don't want to blow it.
293
00:14:04,660 --> 00:14:08,179
Freezing in the winter
is not a good thing.
294
00:14:08,248 --> 00:14:09,763
That's the propaganda.
295
00:14:09,833 --> 00:14:11,199
The truth is,
296
00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:14,068
all the German officers are
buying into the ski resorts
297
00:14:14,137 --> 00:14:15,770
around Stalingrad.
298
00:14:15,839 --> 00:14:17,688
That's ridiculous.
299
00:14:17,757 --> 00:14:20,307
It's Sun Valley with borscht.
300
00:14:20,376 --> 00:14:23,761
Hogan, you must imagine
that I'm some sort of fool.
301
00:14:23,830 --> 00:14:25,007
If you're smart, Colonel,
302
00:14:25,031 --> 00:14:26,842
you'll take your next
furlough at Minsk.
303
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:29,733
I wouldn't go to Minsk
if you put a gun to my...
304
00:14:29,802 --> 00:14:31,847
I am Olga Hertzikoff.
305
00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:33,170
Oh.
306
00:14:33,239 --> 00:14:34,705
Come in, please.
307
00:14:35,975 --> 00:14:37,786
I am looking for Colonel Becker.
308
00:14:37,810 --> 00:14:39,121
Oh, Colonel Becker's in town,
309
00:14:39,145 --> 00:14:40,655
but he should be
back any moment.
310
00:14:40,679 --> 00:14:41,924
Won't you sit down, please?
311
00:14:41,948 --> 00:14:43,392
Oh, I can only stay
a few moments.
312
00:14:43,416 --> 00:14:44,526
Oh.
313
00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:46,417
Are you a close
friend of the colonel's?
314
00:14:46,485 --> 00:14:48,719
Like blintzes and sour cream.
315
00:14:48,788 --> 00:14:50,721
You can't get much
closer than that, sir.
316
00:14:50,790 --> 00:14:52,156
Dismissed, Hogan.
317
00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:54,825
When did you say my little
bublishkibble will be back?
318
00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:56,539
Oh, he should be back any time.
319
00:14:56,563 --> 00:14:59,463
Ah. I must go to hotel and pack.
320
00:14:59,532 --> 00:15:01,565
We go back to
Russia in the morning.
321
00:15:01,634 --> 00:15:03,178
Is that where you
met the colonel?
322
00:15:03,202 --> 00:15:04,569
Da.
323
00:15:04,638 --> 00:15:09,140
His officers' club is next
door to my father's farm.
324
00:15:09,208 --> 00:15:11,992
I am the farmer's daughter.
325
00:15:13,713 --> 00:15:15,413
Well, are there any more
326
00:15:15,482 --> 00:15:17,014
at home like you?
327
00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:18,316
Da.
328
00:15:18,385 --> 00:15:21,386
I have beautiful twin sister.
I show you her picture. Mm?
329
00:15:21,454 --> 00:15:23,037
Mm-hmm.
330
00:15:23,106 --> 00:15:25,584
Oh, I didn't know they had
beauty contests in Russia.
331
00:15:25,608 --> 00:15:28,392
Oh, every Saturday
night at officers' club.
332
00:15:28,461 --> 00:15:29,844
Mm. You were right, Colonel.
333
00:15:29,913 --> 00:15:32,229
It is a dull bore at
the Russian front.
334
00:15:32,298 --> 00:15:33,714
You say it's dull?
335
00:15:33,783 --> 00:15:34,915
Hmm.
336
00:15:34,984 --> 00:15:36,551
I'll show you more pictures.
337
00:15:36,619 --> 00:15:37,829
Mm.
338
00:15:37,853 --> 00:15:40,188
This one is at the ski lodge.
339
00:15:40,256 --> 00:15:42,190
What's that in the cups?
340
00:15:42,258 --> 00:15:45,193
Hot buttered vodka.
341
00:15:45,261 --> 00:15:47,773
I don't seem to be able
to find Colonel Becker.
342
00:15:47,797 --> 00:15:51,899
Ah, he is sitting
behind General Bergett.
343
00:15:51,968 --> 00:15:53,067
Ah.
344
00:15:53,136 --> 00:15:56,237
And this is General
Kissinger and General Kreisel,
345
00:15:56,306 --> 00:15:57,805
General Mittendorf,
346
00:15:57,873 --> 00:16:00,374
and this is General Sockheim.
347
00:16:00,443 --> 00:16:03,177
Yeah, they certainly have
a lot of generals there.
348
00:16:03,246 --> 00:16:04,378
Da.
349
00:16:04,447 --> 00:16:06,747
Promotions are so easy.
350
00:16:06,816 --> 00:16:07,982
And now you can see
351
00:16:08,050 --> 00:16:10,028
why Colonel Becker
painted such a grim picture
352
00:16:10,052 --> 00:16:11,685
of the Russian front?
353
00:16:11,754 --> 00:16:14,066
You know, I think the general's
staff should know about this.
354
00:16:14,090 --> 00:16:15,022
They already do.
355
00:16:15,091 --> 00:16:16,168
They're all sitting there,
356
00:16:16,192 --> 00:16:17,425
drinking hot buttered vodka.
357
00:16:17,494 --> 00:16:19,893
I must go now.
358
00:16:19,962 --> 00:16:21,707
Oh, are you sure you can't stay?
359
00:16:21,731 --> 00:16:25,199
No. I want to get back to
town before the shops close.
360
00:16:25,268 --> 00:16:26,645
Yeah. I need a new bathing suit.
361
00:16:26,669 --> 00:16:28,102
Oh.
362
00:16:28,171 --> 00:16:30,032
There's nothing
wrong with the old one.
363
00:16:30,056 --> 00:16:33,974
Oh, they wear out so
quickly in the hot springs.
364
00:16:34,043 --> 00:16:35,375
Hot springs?
365
00:16:35,444 --> 00:16:39,863
Da. After we ski, we all
jump in the hot springs
366
00:16:39,932 --> 00:16:44,568
and drink hot vodka
from floating bottles.
367
00:16:44,637 --> 00:16:48,072
Oh, it's so relaxing.
368
00:16:48,140 --> 00:16:51,425
It's so enjoyable.
369
00:16:53,029 --> 00:16:55,007
You must send me
to the hot springs...
370
00:16:55,031 --> 00:16:56,563
uh, Russian front.
371
00:16:56,633 --> 00:16:59,800
First I send you to
the base psychiatrist.
372
00:16:59,869 --> 00:17:01,313
Believe me, General Burkhalter,
373
00:17:01,337 --> 00:17:03,248
I've been thinking
about this for a long time.
374
00:17:03,272 --> 00:17:04,739
45 minutes at least.
375
00:17:04,807 --> 00:17:05,906
Hogan!
376
00:17:05,975 --> 00:17:08,275
It's out of the question, Klink.
377
00:17:08,344 --> 00:17:10,795
But General Burkhalter,
as a German officer,
378
00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:13,063
I feel I have not
made any contribution
379
00:17:13,132 --> 00:17:14,432
to the war effort.
380
00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:17,167
For a change, I agree with you.
381
00:17:17,236 --> 00:17:18,920
And I feel guilty,
382
00:17:18,988 --> 00:17:20,721
being here behind the lines,
383
00:17:20,790 --> 00:17:22,924
living in these
beautiful quarters,
384
00:17:22,992 --> 00:17:26,110
eating chateaubriand,
drinking Pomar '37.
385
00:17:26,179 --> 00:17:27,423
You're all out of Pomar '37.
386
00:17:27,447 --> 00:17:29,747
You spend one winter in Russia,
387
00:17:29,815 --> 00:17:31,449
and you would freeze to death.
388
00:17:31,517 --> 00:17:33,262
Believe me, General Burkhalter,
389
00:17:33,286 --> 00:17:34,563
I'll find a way to keep warm.
390
00:17:34,587 --> 00:17:35,720
Klink, this whole idea
391
00:17:35,788 --> 00:17:37,187
is ridiculous.
392
00:17:37,257 --> 00:17:38,467
But General Burkhalter, I...
393
00:17:38,491 --> 00:17:40,524
We need soldiers
on the Russian front,
394
00:17:40,593 --> 00:17:42,526
fighting men.
395
00:17:44,614 --> 00:17:45,880
I never thought
396
00:17:45,948 --> 00:17:47,909
I'd ever hear anybody
talk to you like that, sir.
397
00:17:47,933 --> 00:17:50,484
I think General Burkhalter
was pulling my leg.
398
00:17:50,553 --> 00:17:52,520
Speaking of legs,
there goes your chance
399
00:17:52,588 --> 00:17:53,687
to meet Miss Karkhoff.
400
00:17:53,756 --> 00:17:54,933
Oh, please, Hogan.
401
00:17:54,957 --> 00:17:56,089
Unless of course you were
402
00:17:56,158 --> 00:17:58,692
to show General
Burkhalter the real you.
403
00:17:58,761 --> 00:18:00,728
Who's the real me?
404
00:18:00,796 --> 00:18:02,997
Old "Blood and Guts" Klink.
405
00:18:08,704 --> 00:18:09,820
Who is that?
406
00:18:09,889 --> 00:18:11,889
It looks like...
407
00:18:11,957 --> 00:18:13,474
I don't believe it.
408
00:18:14,861 --> 00:18:17,094
General Burkhalter.
409
00:18:17,163 --> 00:18:19,096
Colonel Becker.
410
00:18:19,165 --> 00:18:20,313
Klink,
411
00:18:20,382 --> 00:18:22,166
I thought the
officers' costume party
412
00:18:22,234 --> 00:18:24,618
isn't until Saturday.
413
00:18:24,687 --> 00:18:27,388
This is not a costume.
This is the real me.
414
00:18:27,457 --> 00:18:28,722
Colonel Klink,
415
00:18:28,791 --> 00:18:31,525
we haven't received our Red
Cross packages this week.
416
00:18:31,594 --> 00:18:33,860
Go tell it to your chaplain.
417
00:18:33,929 --> 00:18:35,729
According to the
Geneva Convention...
418
00:18:35,798 --> 00:18:38,365
In this camp, we go
by the Klink Convention.
419
00:18:38,434 --> 00:18:41,218
General, are you
gonna allow that?
420
00:18:41,286 --> 00:18:44,021
Colonel Klink runs
the camp his way.
421
00:18:44,089 --> 00:18:45,434
Hogan, I would
like to inform you
422
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:46,658
that I've ordered land mines
423
00:18:46,692 --> 00:18:49,493
planted outside the barbed wire.
424
00:18:49,562 --> 00:18:52,241
Any of your men attempting
to escape will be blown up.
425
00:18:52,265 --> 00:18:53,397
But Colonel Klink,
426
00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:54,776
don't you have
some of your guards
427
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,834
patrolling outside the camp?
428
00:18:56,903 --> 00:18:59,870
If they can't be careful,
it's none of my concern.
429
00:18:59,939 --> 00:19:01,572
But your own men
could be killed.
430
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:04,708
In war, you win
some, you lose some.
431
00:19:04,777 --> 00:19:08,307
Frankly, Klink, I never
knew you were so ruthless.
432
00:19:08,331 --> 00:19:12,216
I come from a long
line of ruthless Klinks.
433
00:19:12,285 --> 00:19:14,496
Perhaps I was too hasty.
434
00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:17,966
You may be just what we
need on the Russian front.
435
00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:19,974
I'll be glad to help him pack.
436
00:19:20,042 --> 00:19:22,821
I'll get your suitcase,
Herr Kommandant.
437
00:19:22,845 --> 00:19:24,256
Get one for yourself.
438
00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:25,446
For me?
439
00:19:25,515 --> 00:19:26,791
I wouldn't dream of leaving
440
00:19:26,815 --> 00:19:27,748
without you, Schultz.
441
00:19:27,816 --> 00:19:29,617
Force yourself!
442
00:19:29,685 --> 00:19:30,884
Colonel Becker,
443
00:19:30,953 --> 00:19:32,153
I will arrange for you
444
00:19:32,221 --> 00:19:34,688
to be the new
commandant of Stalag 13.
445
00:19:34,757 --> 00:19:37,424
I serve where I can do
my best for the Fatherland.
446
00:19:37,493 --> 00:19:39,354
General Burkhalter,
if you will excuse me,
447
00:19:39,378 --> 00:19:40,839
I would like to go
to Hammelburg.
448
00:19:40,863 --> 00:19:42,129
Of course.
449
00:19:42,198 --> 00:19:44,348
I know you have
some shopping to do.
450
00:19:44,416 --> 00:19:46,767
I have to buy a bathing suit.
451
00:19:46,836 --> 00:19:50,154
A bathing suit?
452
00:19:50,223 --> 00:19:52,606
For Stalingrad?
453
00:19:57,696 --> 00:19:59,230
I would like to see
Colonel Hogan.
454
00:19:59,298 --> 00:20:01,232
LeBeau.
455
00:20:04,019 --> 00:20:05,369
Poker?
456
00:20:05,438 --> 00:20:07,187
Colonel Becker.
457
00:20:07,256 --> 00:20:09,756
Ah, Colonel Hogan,
congratulations.
458
00:20:09,825 --> 00:20:11,025
You did a magnificent job.
459
00:20:11,093 --> 00:20:12,304
It's all in a day's work.
460
00:20:12,328 --> 00:20:14,495
Still, the Gestapo doesn't
give you enough credit.
461
00:20:14,563 --> 00:20:15,707
Well, I wouldn't say that.
462
00:20:15,731 --> 00:20:17,576
You got to remember
Klink is pretty easy.
463
00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:19,700
It's quite an achievement
to get a German officer
464
00:20:19,768 --> 00:20:22,702
to beg on his hands and
knees to go to the Russian front.
465
00:20:22,771 --> 00:20:24,650
I happen to know
Klink's weaknesses.
466
00:20:24,674 --> 00:20:26,218
Now, what about those papers?
467
00:20:26,242 --> 00:20:27,941
What papers?
468
00:20:28,010 --> 00:20:30,239
The secret papers
in your briefcase.
469
00:20:30,263 --> 00:20:32,179
Oh, these papers.
470
00:20:32,248 --> 00:20:33,981
I'm afraid I can't
give them to you.
471
00:20:34,050 --> 00:20:35,227
Why?
472
00:20:35,251 --> 00:20:37,117
Because you are so clever,
473
00:20:37,186 --> 00:20:39,302
I'm sure you would find a
way to get them to England.
474
00:20:39,371 --> 00:20:40,582
You did make a deal.
475
00:20:40,606 --> 00:20:41,739
Well, if you believed
476
00:20:41,808 --> 00:20:43,340
that I would go
through with that deal,
477
00:20:43,409 --> 00:20:45,821
then you are not quite
as smart as I thought.
478
00:20:45,845 --> 00:20:47,890
I'm about to send
these off to Berlin.
479
00:20:47,914 --> 00:20:51,365
In other words, Colonel,
you're double-crossing us.
480
00:20:51,434 --> 00:20:52,599
Precisely.
481
00:20:52,668 --> 00:20:55,236
And, as your new
commandant, I assure you
482
00:20:55,304 --> 00:20:58,422
I will find out exactly
how your operation works.
483
00:20:58,491 --> 00:20:59,706
No problem.
484
00:20:59,775 --> 00:21:01,875
We'll be happy to
show you how it works.
485
00:21:01,944 --> 00:21:03,377
Wouldn't we, fellas?
486
00:21:03,446 --> 00:21:04,844
Oh, we certainly will, sir.
487
00:21:04,913 --> 00:21:07,548
The first thing is,
this is our tunnel.
488
00:21:07,616 --> 00:21:09,149
And this is my arm.
489
00:21:09,218 --> 00:21:10,750
And this is...
490
00:21:10,819 --> 00:21:12,564
This is how we get
people to England.
491
00:21:13,755 --> 00:21:15,667
I do hope you
like fish and chips.
492
00:21:22,531 --> 00:21:23,663
What about Klink?
493
00:21:23,732 --> 00:21:25,343
We got to keep him
from going to Russia.
494
00:21:25,367 --> 00:21:27,534
Yeah, but Burkhalter now
thinks he's a great soldier.
495
00:21:27,603 --> 00:21:30,404
We created the
monster; we'll destroy it.
496
00:21:30,473 --> 00:21:33,573
Come on. We've got work
to do at the motor pool.
497
00:21:33,642 --> 00:21:36,977
I cannot understand
where Colonel Becker is.
498
00:21:37,046 --> 00:21:39,257
He may have been
delayed in town.
499
00:21:39,281 --> 00:21:40,680
But I wanted to formally
500
00:21:40,750 --> 00:21:42,950
have you give over
the command to him.
501
00:21:43,018 --> 00:21:44,295
I will send him a letter.
502
00:21:44,319 --> 00:21:45,697
Well, look, General Burkhalter,
503
00:21:45,721 --> 00:21:47,199
I'm very anxious to get started.
504
00:21:47,223 --> 00:21:48,388
General Burkhalter,
505
00:21:48,457 --> 00:21:49,551
we'd like to say good-bye
506
00:21:49,575 --> 00:21:51,186
to Sergeant Schultz
and Colonel Klink.
507
00:21:51,210 --> 00:21:53,411
Yes, of course.
508
00:21:53,479 --> 00:21:54,912
Good luck, Schultz.
509
00:21:54,980 --> 00:21:57,025
Thank you, Colonel Hogan.
510
00:21:57,049 --> 00:21:58,410
Let's hear from you, Schultz.
511
00:21:58,434 --> 00:22:02,074
I'm sure you can get one of
the nurses to write the card.
512
00:22:03,473 --> 00:22:04,721
Good luck, Colonel.
513
00:22:04,790 --> 00:22:06,090
Thank you.
514
00:22:06,159 --> 00:22:08,859
I imagine they'll be dancing
in the barracks tonight
515
00:22:08,928 --> 00:22:10,805
when Old "Blood and
Guts" is gone, huh?
516
00:22:10,829 --> 00:22:13,030
To be honest with you,
we'll kind of miss you, sir.
517
00:22:13,099 --> 00:22:14,398
So it goes.
518
00:22:14,467 --> 00:22:16,633
You win some, you lose some.
519
00:22:16,702 --> 00:22:17,868
Attention!
520
00:22:22,474 --> 00:22:24,086
Good-bye, General Burkhalter.
521
00:22:24,110 --> 00:22:25,626
Good luck, Klink.
522
00:22:25,695 --> 00:22:27,327
Thank you.
523
00:22:27,396 --> 00:22:30,297
Forward!
524
00:22:30,366 --> 00:22:32,132
There goes one of
the great soldiers.
525
00:22:32,201 --> 00:22:34,301
It's Bismarck all over again.
526
00:22:34,370 --> 00:22:35,370
Potshot Schultzy.
527
00:22:35,438 --> 00:22:36,438
Bye!
528
00:22:41,493 --> 00:22:43,093
They're coming this way.
529
00:22:57,927 --> 00:22:59,026
Oh...!
530
00:22:59,094 --> 00:23:01,462
Klink, are you hurt?
531
00:23:09,405 --> 00:23:12,139
Come on. Schultzy, come on.
532
00:23:14,109 --> 00:23:15,209
Easy now.
533
00:23:15,278 --> 00:23:16,877
You all right?
534
00:23:16,945 --> 00:23:18,045
Come on.
535
00:23:18,113 --> 00:23:19,958
Are you all right,
General Burkhalter?
536
00:23:19,982 --> 00:23:21,826
Yes, but no thanks to you
537
00:23:21,850 --> 00:23:23,512
and that idiot Schultz.
538
00:23:23,536 --> 00:23:26,414
If you don't mind, I would
like to get another motorcycle.
539
00:23:26,438 --> 00:23:27,599
I must get started.
540
00:23:27,623 --> 00:23:30,724
Klink, you are not
going anywhere!
541
00:23:30,793 --> 00:23:32,103
But General Burkhalter, I...
542
00:23:32,127 --> 00:23:33,338
You heard me!
543
00:23:33,362 --> 00:23:36,713
If I send you two clowns
to the Russian front,
544
00:23:36,782 --> 00:23:39,416
I would be shot for treason!
545
00:23:48,444 --> 00:23:49,621
Wanted to see me, Colonel?
546
00:23:49,645 --> 00:23:50,744
Yes, Hogan.
547
00:23:50,813 --> 00:23:52,413
I just wanted to inform you
548
00:23:52,481 --> 00:23:54,981
that General Burkhalter
has definitely ordered me
549
00:23:55,050 --> 00:23:56,584
to stay on as commandant.
550
00:23:56,652 --> 00:23:58,863
What happens to that
nice Colonel Becker?
551
00:23:58,887 --> 00:24:00,153
When we find him,
552
00:24:00,223 --> 00:24:01,872
he'll be sent back
to the Russian front.
553
00:24:01,941 --> 00:24:03,735
Well, I just saw
him outside the wire
554
00:24:03,759 --> 00:24:05,759
checking the
placement of your mines.
555
00:24:13,252 --> 00:24:15,063
One of my mines went off.
556
00:24:15,087 --> 00:24:16,786
Just where I saw
Becker standing.
557
00:24:16,856 --> 00:24:18,555
You mean...
558
00:24:18,623 --> 00:24:21,524
Mm-hmm.
559
00:24:21,593 --> 00:24:23,560
Poor Becker.
560
00:24:23,628 --> 00:24:25,874
What am I going to
tell General Burkhalter?
561
00:24:25,898 --> 00:24:27,965
Just tell him that's
the way it goes.
562
00:24:28,033 --> 00:24:30,400
You win some, you lose some.
37092
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof