Original subtitles

[MUSIC]

>> Thanks so much for ditching school with me today, Venus.

I literally cannot stand to be there right now.

>> Look, guys like you aren't dying with those.

>> Sierra clean, he's a fucking jerk anyway.

He doesn't deserve you at all.

>> I guess it's just upsetting.

I can't believe he would do that to me.

Like the girl like Maddie, it's crazy.

>> I know, but who would have expected that?

>> Honestly, not me.

I really liked him.

Just so glad to be away from it all right now.

I literally could not be there.

You're a good friend for coming.

[LAUGH] My god, is that him?

>> I bet it is.

>> Do you want me to get it for you?

>> No, I'll handle it.

>> Are you sure?

>> Yeah, I can do it.

It's okay.

Thanks though.

>> My god. >> Hey, what's up?

I just wanna talk to you.

I was supposed to wait for me at lunchtime.

>> Yeah, I left to get away from you.

>> I got you these.

I got you some flowers.

What do you mean?

>> I want flowers.

>> Why not? >> Why would I want flowers for me after what you did?

>> Come on, please, bunny, I just wanna talk, listen.

>> No, you listen, you know, I will take those, because they're for me.

>> But no, that's not- >> Why, what's wrong?

>> What do you mean, you know exactly what you did.

>> I didn't do anything.

>> You didn't do anything, yeah, right.

>> Come on.

Don't throw the flowers.

[MUSIC]

>> That was so sweet.

[NOISE]

>> Relax, relax.

>> Okay.

>> Fuck.

[NOISE]

>> Shit.

>> What the fuck, they took my blood.

>> I'm a swifter.

>> Shh, Joel, Joel, cover, cover, cover.

[NOISE]

>> Babe, please, come on.

>> My God.

>> Just listen, just listen.

>> I have nothing more to listen to.

>> I have plenty more to talk about.

What are you even talking about, my God?

Why are you even here?

>> Well, you're my best friend.

Obviously, we're both here, obviously.

>> It doesn't, it doesn't matter.

But you weren't even there, you're just like feeding something to her.

>> No, I was there when you cheated.

>> I didn't cheat, it was an accident, it doesn't happen.

>> You accidentally slipped your dick into somebody else.

>> I thought it was you.

>> How do you think it's me?

>> Because you're supposed to be at the party with me.

>> Yeah, but you knew I wasn't going.

>> But maybe you're gonna come, I don't know.

>> Yeah, well, you came, that's for sure.

>> I mean, I'm sorry, no, I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that.

I didn't mean to say that. >> It's crazy, like.

>> Like, you've been together for so long.

>> It's literally been a month.

>> That's so long, though.

>> It's so not that long.

>> Like, to be showing up here with flowers.

>> I even got you this.

>> This is literally mine, this is Ben here.

>> But I got these two, though.

>> Yeah, but like, these flowers.

>> Come on, please, it was an accident, it's not gonna happen again.

>> Flowers, she doesn't even like me.

>> They're fake flowers.

>> They're fake, like our relationship, like.

>> It was fake. >> Because you wanted to step out.

>> You went out and you did. >> Everything that I said to you,

everything that I did was real.

You know, I slipped out one time, it was an accident.

>> It was a moment, but it's not giving consistency, you know.

>> Exactly. >> Tell him, tell him.

>> It's so, it's not happening. >> You don't think I provide value, you know?

>> No, it's not. >> We hang out, all we do is chill on the couch and watch movies, like, that's the answer to that.

>> That's the blur you've left, though, it's the lack of a date that does it for me, really.

>> What do you mean? I cook for you, I make ramen noodles all the time.

>> Yeah, but ramen noodles is not sustaining, just like this is not sustaining our relationship.

>> You know, you get some eggs and shit in this thing. >> You can't, but it's not a real meal.

>> Well, let's try again, please. >> No, so I can get more ramen noodles and get cheated on.

Genuinely, like, what did you think was gonna happen?

You thought it was just gonna be under wraps behind closed doors? >> I was drunk. I was drunk.

>> You can be drunk and not put your dick in someone else. It's like, just not that difficult.

>> What can I do, though, to make you forgive me? >> Not make you forgive me. >> I'm not talking to you.

No, but you're not going to talk to her that way.

Because she's standing on your knee.

She's being mean to me, though.

We're both going to be mean to you because you fucked up.

I didn't fuck up.

I didn't mean to.

You didn't fuck up.

I didn't mean to.

What are you saying?

Babe, please.

No, no, no, no.

Please, babe, please, please.

No, like, I didn't fuck up.

I didn't fuck up.

You definitely did fuck up.

I was fucked up.

You never made a mistake?

No, not--

You should ship.

I have a ship.

You never made a mistake?

No.

You never made a mistake?

Babe, please, like, I didn't mean to--

Please literally only goes so far.

You know what I mean?

Yes.

Yeah.

But this is the first time it happened.

It's the last time it happened.

It won't happen again.

It's the first time, and it's so soon.

Yeah, but how do you not keep your dick in your pants

for like a month?

Literally.

Literally.

That's crazy.

Nothing to say.

Exactly, nothing to say.

I just really expected you to be there.

And I was just thinking about you.

You-- yeah, I was obviously in your mind when you were in another bitch.

Like, you know what I mean?

It's your fault you didn't go there.

Are you serious?

I'm pretty sure I was.

I'm serious.

This is a fucking shit.

I thought you were going to be there.

I was so-- holy, like--

Oh my god, you can be so pretty.

No.

You're a jerk.

I don't wanna let you know.

I wanted you.

I wanted you.

You wanted me, and I wanted you there, and you found--

And I thought it was you.

--an amazing bitch with a real name.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Yeah, fuck her.

She sucked.

You did fuck her!

I bet she did suck because she's a ho.

Horribly-- horribly-- you think that I don't want to jeopardize you and what we have?

I mean, clearly it is.

I thought it was you.

Maybe if you had pulled up to the party, none of this would have happened, right?

If I had pulled up to the party and I--

None of this would have happened.

If you had pulled--

I literally popped off.

Yo, yo, yo, I'm about to crash out.

I'm about to crash out.

Don't give her that fashion.

I'm about to crash out.

I'm about to crash out.

Because, yo, baby, listen.

Please, just listen.

Please, please.

OK, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

You're relaxed.

You're relaxed.

Yeah, you should relax.

Calm down.

I'm sorry.

But if you were there, right?

Ew.

I would have fucked you.

And shh.

I literally just can't--

[INTERPOSING VOICES]

[INTERPOSING VOICES]

It's the odd ass.

Yo, someone-- someone-- I hear a buzzing.

I hear a buzzing.

Oh, maybe it's coming from my left ear.

Maybe you should have some more respect for my friend.

[INTERPOSING VOICES]

I would have lost.

Stop it.

[INTERPOSING VOICES]

It genuinely is just so-- it's disrespectful.

[INTERPOSING VOICES]

It's disrespectful for you to speak that way to somebody

that I clearly value.

Like, what would you do that?

Well, look how she's talking to me.

Look how she's talking to me.

Honestly?

You know what I mean?

It's what you deserve.

What else am I supposed to do?

It's what you deserve.

For doing it one time?

For one time?

One time?

We've been together for--

We've been together for a month.

We've been together for a month.

Exactly one time.

You cheated one time, one month.

It'd be different if it was a year.

Maybe I'd back up my heart--

You know how I fuck you mediocrely?

You know I love you mediocrely?

Yes, mediocrely.

And that's enough.

No, that's--

That's enough.

I'm between the ramen noodles and the mediocre affection.

It's honestly mind-blowing that you think that I would have any space--

But you're like spooky, pooky, wooky.

I don't give a fuck about no spooky, pooky, whatever the fuck.

It's not what I feel.

Please, please.

I don't.

I don't.

I don't.

You know what?

Don't suck your fucking hair.

You keep on talking about me.

As if she would fucking want you after you cheated on me.

I'd be so serious.

You see me?

Come on.

Do I see you?

Yes, and you look like a fucking joke.

Totally.

I'm not a joker.

Because the way that you would pull up here thinking

that this is what it would be and that you come in and throw flowers at me

and fucking think of an apology, a please, and I'm sorry,

is going to take you anywhere.

Exactly.

Oh my god.

And then you want to hit on my friend.

As if it doesn't get any fucking worse than you cheating.

Like, now you want to hit on my friend?

Well, yeah, I was just--

But so you can cheat on her too and we can all be fucking pressed.

That wouldn't be bad.

It would be bad.

It would be very bad.

But anyways, I'm not here for that.

You know what?

Fuck you.

I'm sorry.

I'm here to get you back.

You are my one and only.

I got this for you.

You are my heart.

Oh my god.

One and only.

I want to give you my last name.

Oh my god.

It's been a fucking month.

Please.

Take away.

Please.

Take away.

You talk about wanting to be in your mouth.

This is like the last thing I want here.

Like, you're literally all I want.

This is like what I want.

The ring?

The ring?

How many people have that ring?

The ring?

That doesn't exist.

I had it.

I promise.

I had it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I had it.

Yeah, yeah.

Please.

I have to take it to your face at that party, huh?

Yeah, exactly.

Yes, it was at that party.

It was.

Exactly.

Exactly.

Yeah, yeah.

I did the couch.

I'm just going to do anything for you.

Babe, I'm so sorry.

Me too.

I didn't mean to do it.

I really didn't.

I know.

I'm sorry.

And I'm sorry.

Please.

Please.

Please, give me your hand.

I just want to see your hand.

Please.

No, no.

I just want to feel you.

Please.

I just want to see your hand.

Please.

No.

I'm so sorry.

And you-- and you just-- you weren't even there.

She wasn't even there.

[INTERPOSING VOICES]

Like what?

Everybody told her because they were too scared to tell me

because they knew I would do my shit.

Who would see?

Who?

No one else knew.

It was behind Sarah.

It was on Twitter.

And you had a sticker and I was like,

your shit is behind closed doors.

Wait, that's on Twitter?

Yes, motherfucker, it was on Twitter.

Because anything you do at a party is recorded.

Like, what is it?

Did it go viral?

No, the fucking thing got previewed.

And I'm sorry.

That's one of them.

I'm sorry, let's make our own viral.

No.

Oh my god.

Please.

Like, I don't even want-- it did near me.

After you put it in a basic bitch--

You don't like this four inches?

No.

And it felt like eight inches when I liked you.

Exactly.

Exactly.

So the way you thought your three inches

was going to go viral, for real--

But it's thick.

--the only reason it went--

but it was thick.

Like a fucking can of--

It's literally like this thick.

--like a can of--

It's like a cheese wheel.

--chocolate.

It's like my pinky.

And I pounded it.

And you tried, and you did your best.

But I--

So you saved it?

No, because I liked you.

But you know what?

Mmm, it was real because I felt it in my heart.

But after that--

And I feel you in my heart.

Oh my god.

--in her heart.

I know.

Let's see.

Exactly.

But it's literally not worth it.

Jenny with me.

Please.

It's so crazy that he would fucking think that.

Please, give me your hand, please.

No, my god.

Please.

Like, I would want your hand touching me

when you touch that dirty, filthy thing.

I washed it.

I washed it.

You can wash it, and you can clean it,

and you can peel your fucking skin off,

and I'm still not going to want to touch you.

Please.

Please, I--

Yeah, yeah.

I want you to--

He's truly gaslighting you.

I'm not gaslighting anyone!

I'm sorry!

I'm just fucking sorry.

This is fucking stupid.

I'm stupid.

I'm stupid.

I'm so sorry.

I didn't mean to do it.

I didn't mean to do it.

[GRUNTING]

Shut up.

Don't fucking push her.

Shut up.

Shut up.

She's fucking-- she's fucking at me.

Because she can't--

Because I'm sad.

You made me sad.

I miss you.

OK.

It was an accident.

But please, like--

[GRUNTING]

Oh my god.

Hey, what's wrong with you?

Stop.

I promise you.

He promised.

You're my little bunny, honey.

Oh my god.

You're my bunny, honey.

Oh.

You're my little bunny.

Please.

Can I throw up, guys?

Please.

Genuinely.

Don't even fucking look at her.

Don't.

No.

Because you're not going to find the words looking at her.

He's not going to find the words at all.

He has nothing else to say.

Nothing else to say.

I'll tell you what this is.

They're like--

You shouldn't even say anything.

I would just--

You meant so much to me.

And me doing that, it was an accident.

I didn't mean to do it.

It will never, ever happen again.

You mean--

Look at me.

--me to do it.

[INTERPOSING VOICES]

All right.

Both of you look at me, then.

If you're going to talk, this is a conversation

between all three of us.

So you're going to listen.

Look at me.

Look at me.

All right.

This will never happen again.

And it won't because we're not dating.

No, please, thank you, God.

Please, take me home.

No.

Give me a chance.

No, I gave you a chance when you asked me out.

Please.

I said yes.

Like, what?

You didn't ask me out.

Oh, my God, please.

You asked me out.

You kept coming over to make mom, and obviously--

I wrote you all those letters.

I did everything.

I showed you how much I loved you and everything.

It's genuinely so crazy.

You know what I mean?

It's just fucking pathetic.

Fucking pathetic.

I can't, I'm so stupid.

I can't.

Yeah, it was stupid, wasn't it?

I'm such an idiot.

And tell me more.

And tell me more.

Yeah.

No, you.

Cry it out.

Please.

Buddy, please.

Oh, make feelings.

We're such a little con.

No, little con makes feelings.

Oh, my God.

Please, put my fucking pillow down.

No, I want to give it to you.

You're reading it in my pillow?

I want to give it back.

I want to give it back.

I want to give it back.

I want to give it back.

I want to give it back.

I'm sorry.

Please.

No.

Fuck it.

OK, it's the switch up.

It's the switch up.

You know what?

No.

No.

See?

This is like a manipulation thing.

It's like a manipulation thing.

It's like a manipulation thing.

Oh, look at that vain pop on your forehead.

You can get back.

Yeah, yeah.

How does it feel?

Huh?

Yeah, you don't?

Just like I did like fucking finding out that you cheated on me with a bitch named Max.

It was an accident.

Oh, fucking people.

It was an accident.

She doesn't even go to school.

How the fuck was she at the party?

Yeah, why did she do this?

Yeah, why?

Why?

Invite her?

No, I did not invite her.

I did not invite her.

No, I did not.

I did not do that.

I did not do that.

Stop putting words in my mouth.

Stop putting words in my mouth.

This is why they want her here.

Every time she comes here, you always want to put words in people's mouths and do all this

stuff.

Okay?

That's not going to happen.

You have to stop doing that.

It's not nice.

You're going to make her fucking ...

You're going to make her stop.

She's going to put words in anybody's mouth if you fucked up and you're being held accountable

for your fucking life.

How is she putting it forward?

I didn't fuck up.

I was fucked up.

Yeah, you were fucked up and you fucked up while you were fucked up, and I'm fucked up

because you fucked up, and so that's why this is a wrap, truly.

Yeah, it's fucking over.

Yeah, like what?

What did you think?

Just tell me what I need to do.

What do you need to do?

Tell me what you need to do.

What the fuck can you do?

Leave?

Yeah, you could leave.

But I want to stay here.

Okay.

For what?

You don't pay rent?

Why the fuck you're here?

Because I love you.

Oh my God.

You love me.

I love you.

It's been a month.

How do you love anybody I love?

Yeah, how do you love anybody in a month much less you can't even take me to get real food,

you fucking come here and cook ramen noodles?

That's so bad.

Yeah.

I'll cut the scallions and shallots.

I'll cut the scallions and shallots.

I'll cut the scallions and shallots.

I'll cut the scallions and shit.

Oh my God, the scallions and fucking ramen would be disgusting.

Do you even know about ramen?

That is fucking real that is tough.

Like...

You know, I don't know, bro, like I just try, I'm trying my hardest.

Oh my God.

I'm trying my hardest.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

I try my hardest for you.

Yeah, I try.

I've been, like ever since the first day I saw you, I've wanted it.

Ugh, oh here you go.

The only thing that was hard is that you were already angry.

You were already angry.

Oh my God.

Let's not forget.

No.

Let's not forget.

What's hard?

What's hard?

What's hard?

What's hard?

Is listening to your fucking yapping.

And she's going to yap.

I'm trying to fucking talk to my girlfriend.

Because we're not broken up.

We're not girlfriends.

You're my girlfriend.

I am not your fucking girlfriend.

Yes you are.

You're my girlfriend.

We made a promise to be together forever.

Yes, and you cheated on me.

Forever does not, it's not inclusive to you fucking other people.

I didn't even come though.

You didn't even come?

Because I'm on the track of your murder.

So you cheated on me.

It's not inclusive to you.

I didn't even come.

You didn't even come?

Because I'm on the track of your murder.

So you cheated on me.

I didn't even come.

You didn't even come?

Because I'm on the track of your murder.

You cheated on me.

I didn't even come.

I thought it was you.

I thought it was you.

I thought it was you.

I thought it was you.

I thought it was you.

How is that not insulting?

Because you're kind of broke.

I thought you were kind of broke.

Why are you fucking the girl that backstabbed you off?

I thought it was you.

She was wearing a mask.

She was wearing a mask.

I thought it was you.

Oh my god.

What?

This is lying.

Nobody is lying.

This is bullshit.

This is bullshit.

I bet it is.

You know what else is bullshit?

Fuck you even coming here thinking about like you're

Yeah, yeah maybe that's the problem you left school maybe she start going school so you can see that on the right one for you

Please I leave school for the first day of fucking semester and you have the audacity

Yes

Like aren't you like

Alright and 19

Because she's gonna fail me you know what I mean she's like she's helping me out you know and we're like in the same class

No, that's it. How can a fucking student fail you?

Because she was getting my tutor

She's gonna like you know

Yeah, but I didn't like you know what I mean like help her out. You know me oh you can pay for fucken

and you know I don't have money right now you don't have

Robin wasn't good enough. He wasn't good enough. It wasn't good enough like why would it be? What about the affection that I showed?

Yeah

Yeah, all the letters that I wrote you for months and months you know what I mean all the calls that would just go straight to voicemail

You're not calling you know I answered the phone so one thing I do

Talking about calls going to voicemail I had a fucking mind truly. I got picked these oh like specifically for you

I know your favorite colors purple. I know you like these

But it looks like purple

No like you're all

You're all I'm like girl. I need I crave you yeah. Yeah, I crave you like like whatever happened there

That was it would never happen again. It's nothing

You ever say like we're not even that far into a relationship, and you're already fucking up and asking for forgiveness exactly that's that you

There we go you know it was so far in a relationship right like

I

Said things a big you

You know this is a learning lesson. I'm taking accountability. This is a learning lesson. No smooth

You know it's move on. No there is no talking to you. I'm not asking you questions right, so I don't know what you're answering but anyway

We're even there, so I don't know why you're talking you're just here. Just like to like

I did and what a fucking pain

Just because you saw it

Doesn't mean it was real it literally it was your face fucking yeah. I was fucking her boat with you

oh

We have a trip literally like coming off we have a trip we have reservations and everything like

I

I

I

I

I

I

Like you you know what I mean like you buy everything I even told you to my best friend

Oh my god

My best friend fucking deal with you where's he at where's your support?

Yeah

*Taylor crying*

*Taylor crying* Was this your fault?

*Taylor crying* I was just like, it's not even like that.

*Taylor crying* And I don't know why you're yelling at me like you're mad at me like I'm-

*Taylor crying* You're yelling!

*Taylor crying* You're just like, you're just like, you're just like-

*Taylor crying* "I'm just like, it was an accident! It was- oh, it was all an accident! It was all- fucking accident! *crying*"

*Taylor crying*

Just let him get out.

*Taylor crying* Oh my god, I can't even...

*Taylor crying* You're just like, you're just like- *crying*

Yeah.

*Taylor crying*

Big tears, big crocodile tears. *Taylor crying*

Yeah, look it back to see! Look it back to see! And when I see you fake crying, I think you're bullshit. *Taylor crying*

*Taylor crying* You must go crazy. *Taylor crying*

*Taylor crying* No, I'm being serious! Don't you think I'm like, like, look at me! Look at me! I'm here! I came here! And I came here to talk to you!

*Taylor crying* I thought it was a fake call! I didn't expect your friend to be here. I just-

Why didn't you be here?

Because I wanted it, I don't know. I don't know, I just wanted it to be us. I just wanted it to be us so we can talk.

So he can manipulate you.

So we can talk, it's not to manipulate her.

Yeah I-

It's not to manipulate her. Come, just listen, please.

Oh my god, what is there to listen to? Like what was he saying?

Listen to me, please. Just listen to me. Please. Like, oh.

I'm listening.

I'm sorry. What I did was fucked up. I understand, it was messed up, and it'll never happen again. You're all I think about, you're, like, I dream about you.

You dream about me? But you don't think about me? I- I almost got your name tatted on my chest. You know, you're literally- You're my everything. You're my- What is the "almost"?

Because look at what's going on. You're here, you're just being all like, you know what I mean, like just hating on me, you know? Like you're not supporting me. You know what I mean? Like you're not supporting the happiness that you see that I provide for your friend. For your best friend. She's so happy with me. Like, like that show-

I was happy until you fucking cheated on me. Like, like-

And it will happen again. And it will happen again. And it will-

Don't believe it, bud.

You said thank you to that guy at the store.

Oh my god! Is that really-

Like, or you said thank you to the guy at the store, and then I fucked a girl, and then now, wow, I'm the bad guy. You cheated on me too. The guy at the beauty store, like, you're like, oh, thank you, have a nice beautiful day, um-

Yeah, yeah, yeah! I'm the best! Yeah! All that fucking shit. You don't think I see that? You don't think that's disrespectful to me?

Oh, isn't it? Oh my god, really disrespectful to you.

I had anger. I had sadness in me, and I thought it was you at the party, so I fucked her, you know, and I came here-

It's fine, again! And it will happen again.

Yo! Venus, stop talking, please, while I try to talk to the love of my life.

Oh my god, the love of my life.

I'm trying to talk to the love of my life right now, and all you're doing is just trying to make it worse. So please, just like, stop talking, you put a sock in there or something. You know?

- I just wanted to make sure that she doesn't...

- Yes, I understand, that's awesome.

I'm talking to my girl, baby.

Baby girl.

Bunny.

Sweetie pie, my one and only, my love.

I'm sorry, please forgive me, just listen.

Please forgive me.

If you took the time to read the letters that I sent you,

you know what I mean, like...

- I wrote all the letters, and it doesn't mean shit.

- Let me try to get, let me try to at least get one of them.

You know what I mean, like...

Fucking...

Life.

Look.

Nice tits.

Your tits are fucking amazing.

- Why would you-- - I admire your fucking

beautiful tits. - Oh my god.

- Oh my god.

- Now, no, no, no, I know, look.

Yours always, dear bunny boo,

I was thinking about you during math class today, actually.

I'm always thinking about you,

but I couldn't concentrate at all because I kept wondering

what you were doing, and now you're here, you skipped school.

You know what?

Fuck this, you're not even listening.

- I'm listening, I was just thinking,

can you tell me a bunch of shit?

- You know, I was thinking-- - I skipped school,

because I don't want to deal with you.

- I was thinking I had bonkers, food, I was gonna take us,

you know, we're gonna skip lunch and,

you know what I mean, do stuff, and--

- So you're mad at me for skipping school,

and you were gonna technically skip school?

I have a fucking... - No, it's not even that.

- We were gonna do it together, right?

That's the thing.

But you didn't, you didn't tell me, you know,

so I came to your house, I saw your location,

and I was like, yeah, let me just pull up

and see what's good with this girl and try to talk to her,

and you opened the door all hostile, all angry at me,

you know what I mean, saying I don't want to talk to you.

- What if I be looking at you and you cheated on me?

- I didn't know you saw that, even though it was an accident.

How do you even see it, it was in the fucking dark.

You know what I mean, like, it didn't even go viral,

how the fuck do you see it?

Meaning, it never fucking happened.

- Just because it didn't go viral doesn't mean it didn't happen.

- I wore a condom.

I wore a condom. - Okay.

- My skin, my skin didn't touch her skin,

therefore I didn't fuck her, the condom fucked her.

- So it's not cheating, like I-- - No, and I fucked her.

I make love to you, baby, and tell me,

those three inches, don't they feel like eight inches?

- Not anymore, the fuck?

- Don't they feel like eight inches?

- No. - Oh my goodness.

I'll get penis enlargement surgery for you.

- No. - I'll give you a 15-incher.

Like I just, I'll do anything for you.

- Yeah, all right. - I'll do anything.

I bought you a pony, I bought you a car, I bought you a house.

- No, you didn't, you bought me fucking ramen noodles.

- Yeah, but that's coming later.

- Mm-hmm. - You're so pathetic,

piece of shit.

- Are you crying?

(crying)

- It's so sad. - It's so pathetic,

is what it is. - Because it got caught.

I hate being a count of holes. - It's so sad.

(crying)

- Look, please, add more, add more.

- Okay, yeah, you have to work. - Look, please.

You made my life right.

You made my life right, look at you.

You know what, I'm not lying. - So why did you cheat?

Why did you cheat? - Because it was dark.

She makes it bright. - It's not bright.

- The other girl made it dark.

- You said it was literally in the dark.

- Yes, see your lips are so soft, and I love that.

And I'm not just talking about the Northern ones.

- Oh my god. - Thank you, man.

I miss you so much. - Yeah, I bet you do.

- I miss you, please.

I have another one for you. - Mm-hmm.

- I think you're gonna like this one.

You're my favorite, so yes, I-- (laughing)

- My god, yeah, right. - Right.

- We're literally so rich. - I'm so sure.

- We're literally so rich. - Just because our--

- I look up online all the time. - We're literally so rich.

- I look up online all the time. - Oh my god.

- I look up our victory all the time.

- You have too many five-point sprints to be completely--

That's what it is. - Oh my god.

- Can you ever focus on my quiz?

When the back of your head is staring at me.

It's staring at me. - I don't even remember

receiving that, but that shit is a joke.

- Yeah, because the back of your head is ridiculous.

It's beautiful. - You're trying to tell me

I have a big head? - No.

- What's next? - I'm trying to say,

that girl, that cranium is beautiful.

- Oh my god, okay, yeah. - That cranium is beautiful.

Look at this, I have another one for you.

What does that say?

I love you. - Mm-hmm.

- Please, please baby, girl, please.

- They're genuinely just words.

- They're words, but they can't--

Look at all this, look at all this,

look at all of that fucking shit.

Look at all the fucking letters,

look at all the fucking letters that I write to you.

And you never write any of them,

they're all fucking folded still.

They're all still fucking folded.

Like look at this one, look at this.

You're my everything. - Liar, liar.

- All right, liar, coincidentally I just throw out

all the fucking letters and you're my everything

is the first one I pick. - It's not that--

- It's a universe. - You've been reading

through them, what are you talking about?

- But it means something.

- No it doesn't. - It means something.

- It literally doesn't. - And it should mean

something to you. - I wish it did.

It would mean more to me if you didn't cheat on me.

What kind of guy does that?

How are you gonna write me a bunch of love letters and cheat?

- Because you won't respond to it.

I thought, I'm insecure.

I'm insecure in myself.

Me, you know what I mean?

Like just being such a, everybody wants me

and everything, right?

It's a lie, nobody wants me.

Nobody ever, you know, so her showing me a little bit

of affection and all that, it reminded me of something

that I was missing.

- What were you missing when I'd been here?

That's what's so confusing. - I was--

- Is you talking about, he talks about.

- No, listen.

You wanna know what I was missing?

I was missing you. - Oh my God.

- I was missing-- - I had literally seen you

earlier in the day and you fucked somebody else that night.

- Yeah, but.

- It's what?

- It's just you are the woman of my dreams.

You know, like that's it.

- What? I guess you'll be seeing me.

- You're the woman of my dreams like because--

- It's like what you do to your boyfriend.

- Exactly. I'm a good boyfriend.

I fell down once.

- I can't believe it was just ice cream.

- Haven't you--

- You knew you guys would--

- Wait, hold on, hold on, hold on.

- You knew everything.

- Hey, I have an idea.

- That test that you took last week.

- Yeah.

- Where'd you get the answers?

- I fucking studied for this.

- You're cheating.

- Oh my God, please.

- The pussy I got last night.

- Uh-huh, what about it?

- I cheated, we both cheated.

- I did not cheat on my test.

Just because I'm smart doesn't mean that I have to cheat.

- Yeah, she's never cheated a day in her life.

- Nah, I saw the answers.

I saw the answer, no, you had it, you had it.

It's okay.

- I'm not gonna tell you, Barbie.

I'm not gonna tell-- - Oh my God.

- Here, here, we get back together, right?

And I won't tell the teacher.

- You can tell the teacher whatever you want.

- She's trying to go to the bathroom.

- And I won't tell the teacher.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, what teacher?

We're in different classes, what do you think?

- Yeah, well I know the dean.

- Okay, and everybody knows the dean,

we go to the same school.

- Yeah, well, you're gonna tell him.

- Okay, yeah.

- Oh, you know, do you love me?

Yes or no?

Yes.

- My God, really?

- What the fuck? - No, I said answer.

- Do you love me?

Pick one.

Pick one. - Oh my God.

- Do you love me?

Pick one.

- There is, covering the other option doesn't make it.

- There's only one option, and it's us.

It's us, remember the future plans we had?

We're gonna buy those acres and buy those animals.

- Yeah, 'cause you know that I wanna farm,

but everybody knows that I wanna farm.

- I wanna farm. - I wanna see a tree.

- Oh my God, you put a farm in it, I wanna go farm.

- I was supposed to, you know, you're supposed to fucking

take care of the land, I was supposed to take care of the land,

you're supposed to milk the cows and shit.

You know what I mean?

- And it would've been great.

- Yeah. - If you had it fucked up.

- And then I could've been your cow, but.

- Oh my God.

- I've fucked up.

I'm just a pile of shit now.

- So gross.

- The manure to fertilize my plants.

What's that?

- It just means that-- - It means shit.

(laughing)

- Otherwise, I'm still here. - Now that this shit--

(all talking at once)

I'm fucking staying here, I don't give a fuck.

I'm fucking staying here.

- I guess you better get comfortable.

I'm held in my own room. (laughing)

- Hey, hey.

I'm chilling. - Mm-hmm.

- And you're gonna look at my face the whole fucking time.

- Okay. - And then you're gonna hear

my voice yapping. - So how's your day been, Venus?

- Yeah, Venus, how how's your day been?

- He's not here anymore, how's your day been?

What do you wanna get for dinner?

- Is this gonna go good? - I don't know,

what's she gonna get for dinner?

- We should get some KBB. - No.

- Yeah. - I was thinking maybe we could--

- Maybe some like-- - Go out for like,

steakhouse or something. - Oh yeah, I would love that.

- Yeah, you're staying here, right? - I would love that.

- Well. - Yeah, no.

- He's trying to invite me. - No, he's staying here.

- What do you mean? - He's staying here.

- I'm staying here. - Where is he?

- No, no, we're, nah, I'm gonna go with you guys.

We've been having a great time. - No, we're not.

- Yeah. - No, you're not.

- It's gonna be fun, don't worry.

I'll have my friend pick us up,

'cause y'all don't have a vehicle.

- Oh my God. - You know, so, it's like, it's cool, it's all fine. - The list of his failures. - You know what I mean?

Like, I just put it on my tab, we're chilling, like-- - On your tab! - I'm a prize.

I'm a prize. - Oh my God. - Of course Maddie would want to fuck me.

I don't have a car, I barely have any money, I have a tiny dick, like, come on, like, who the fuck doesn't want me?

- Who? - Who the fuck doesn't want me? - Who would want you? - My breath smells like shmeck, my like, come on! - Oh my God.

Clean your dick and wash your fucking mouth up. - Oh, I do. - Cool.

- Is that why you washed my mouth? - I can't even say it, 'cause it's so cool. - It's so gross. - It is gross. - I thought you liked it.

- I don't know anybody that would like that. - I thought you liked it. - But you like cheese.

- I like ham. - But I did-- - This is the most important thing. - If I didn't have cheese, I would have just been in the fucking second lecture doing it. - But I, I'm really-- - You gave me like a headache. - Oh my God.

- I just, I just want you back, I know I fucked up.

- I just want you back, I'm not leaving, I'm just gonna chill here until then. - Well, you're not gonna get dinner with us. - Yeah, so, let's chill here. - You know what, you guys can go to dinner. - What's up? - I'll sit, I'll sit here, and I'll wait, and I'll keep you aside in the bedroom. - You'll keep my side of the bedroom? - Yeah. - I pretty god, you'll lay in my bed with your dirty ass. - I'll wash it. I'll wash it. - You'll wash your ass in the sheets? - I'll wash my body with your favorite sink. - Oh my God.

- Not my favorite, you know, the soap. - Weird, I can't help it. - You're weird all the time. - You can be here in the first place. - Because he's like, just kinda cute, he's just an asshole. - What do you guys think about me? Like, we'll go out to dinner, like, this one's good. - I'm going to the steak house. - I, I, I, I, I think that would be a great idea if we did that. I too believe like this. - It's a week. - It's a dinner for two though. - Yeah, dinner for three, yes. - Dinner for two. - You, you, and me. - Oh my God. - Dinner for three, you, you, and me. You know what I mean?

So it'd be good, but I'm gonna do it here you ladies make up your mind

a dinner I just I messed up once it would never happen again never coming again

- This is so bad. - Dina, stop.

Look, you have some nice tits too.

- Oh my god.

(laughing)

- You're such a jerk. - You are such a jerk.

- What?

We're not dating, sure. - I miss you so much.

I miss you so much.

Ugh, Ili.

You don't even have, like, the ob-da-

You don't have the coof to spell it out.

You hit me with an I on one. - You didn't even know

what that means, right?

Remember he's a great behind. - He's a great behind.

(laughing)

That's kinda fucked up.

- I'm

less.

- Yes, just count it out. - I can't.

I'm too dumb. - Count it out.

- I'm too stupid. - Just know from Cavie later.

- I know. - I'm too stupid.

That's why I cheated in,

but at least I have accountability, you know?

- So you're not being accountable.

- She tried to say repeatedly, - She tried to say not.

- like, you repeatedly tried to say in this argument-

- Okay. - That you didn't cheat.

- All right, I did.

- Okay, so you acknowledge it?

- Yes. - So why are you here?

- Because I wanna say I'm sorry.

- Oh my god. - And I wanna make it.

- You said you're sorry. - And I wanna make it.

- It's been exhausted, like.

- I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Please. - I can't listen.

That means, like, make it. - I had her.

- He's sorry, he's sorry, he's sorry, he's sorry, he's sorry.

Like. - I'm sorry.

- Fuck. - If you were so sorry,

why did you do it?

- That's what I'm saying.

If you knew, if you,

you probably thought that you were smart enough

to get away with it, but you're not even smart enough

to pass the fucking classes you're in.

(Alyssa groans)

- Fuck, dude!

- Oh, I mean they are special classes.

Because you are not up to par with the rest of our class.

- What do you mean, they're special classes,

meaning that they're more special than yours.

- Specialer? - They're more special.

They're more special than yours.

- My god. - So, yeah.

- You really are so stupid. - What do you mean?

I'm in the special class.

- You're in the special class.

- You're just in a regular class, like.

And you think you're better than me?

- You're in a regular class. - You're a grade behind us.

- Oh my god. - Get a load of this one.

- You haven't been responding to my letters,

are you fucking mad? - Yo.

- Of course she's fucking mad!

- Yes, I had to fuck Maddie so I could pass the test.

If I don't pass the test,

I'm not gonna be in the same grade as you guys.

- What the fucking essays were that right there?

- And I wanna be with you for the rest of my life.

- Hey buddy, what did you even say?

- Read it, read it.

- I can't even read it, it's so stupid.

Like, what even is this? - Don't say that.

- I'm staring at your laundry today.

Waiting for you to show up. - You know how much time

and effort I put into that? - I don't know why,

but every time I see you, I get this stupid smile on my face

and it won't go away.

Did you have a smile on your face

when you were fucking Maddie,

when you were cheating on your fucking girlfriend?

- I didn't, I didn't think about it.

- Oh. - I didn't think about it.

- You probably think I'm adored for writing this,

but I just wanted to say that you make every day

at school something to look forward to.

- She does, and you do, and you do, and you do, and you do.

I look forward to you every day, always bring your ass coffee,

some fucking donuts or some shit.

- This is the time to isolate you and manipulate you.

- I want you to come on, so. - I know your best friend,

Venus, doesn't like me. - She doesn't.

- I'll kiss her ass while she's farting.

- Oh my God. - That's honestly fucking hilarious

to think about. - That's so weird.

- Venus doesn't like you because you're a dickhead.

Like if you acted right, none of her friends

would have issues with you. - What do you mean?

- But you come here and then you argue with me

and then you argue with my friend.

Because she's arguing with me, this is supposed to be me

and you, a conversation between the both of us,

and I don't know why, she's yelling at me.

- Oh my God. - She could have at least

had the audacity to say, you know what I mean,

hear me out and then you can come and say something.

- Let's see yours. - Because all you guys are reading,

all you guys know is just what you guys have been told.

Right, why didn't you confront me when you found out?

- There's a video, there's nothing to confront.

- Like. - In your life.

- Like, look how crazy these flowers.

- You've told everything to me, I'm so lucky to call you mine.

- But you can't anymore.

- Yeah, all right, there's that.

- What else, what else? - Let's see.

- You're gonna have to review them. - They're so fucking many.

And they're all vines.

- I love you. - Wasted a fucking tree.

- I love you. - You do not.

- I do. - If you did, why would you?

You wouldn't be doing this.

You know what I mean?

Like you wouldn't have to. - What, what, what, what,

what would I, what would I not be doing right now?

- Fucking my own rules. - Being here at your house,

trying to beg for forgiveness.

Don't you think if I didn't care,

I would have just been like, you know what?

Yeah, I was caught, there's a video,

everyone was running a train on that slut, whatever.

Let me finish- - Now you're telling me

that everybody was running a train, so what's the story then?

- Listen, listen, right?

I could have just been like, you know what, you know what,

I was gonna go and be single, I just got caught.

I just got- - Yeah, but you showed you

and her. - Well, yeah.

- Well, yeah. - Because everybody

was doing it, so it's pure pressure.

But anyways, that's not the point.

The point is I'm here to beg for your forgiveness.

Otherwise, I wouldn't be here. - Stop? No,

like can you stop talking? - This is how much you mean to me.

- Like mean to me. - Can you please stop talking?

- This is how much you mean to me. - Ew.

Please shut up. - You know what?

I'm here to talk to you, right? - So first,

it was a train, the video showed otherwise.

- Well, yeah. - I'm sorry,

you're accountable, but you still aren't really accountable.

- I was drunk, it was a train, someone set up a camera.

- It's not an excuse. - Like, and now I'm here,

you know, I could have just been like, fuck it, whatever.

You know what I mean? - That probably would have been

a better idea. - And just moved on.

You don't mean that. - Honestly, like why would you come here

after knowing that you did me dirty? - Because I want to clean it up.

- Because that guy, he's fucking stupid. He's just so fucking stupid.

Like I'm here to talk another fucking second. - An apology is not a cleaner.

- It was supposed to be a better apology, but and Venus,

I apologize for, you know what I mean? For being an asshole to you.

- I don't hear you fucking apologize. - You're a bullshitter.

- I know, I don't owe you an apology, but I'm sorry for being rude to you.

- You do owe me an apology. - But listen, I'm sorry.

- You, you tried to put it on her in front of me, and you're acting like there's anything to like save her.

- It's not my fault, you know what I mean? Look at the way she was looking at me.

- She was looking at you with hate. - I kind of like that.

- But you know, it's not even about that though. - My god, I can't believe him.

- Like you think I'm a fuckboy, damn piece of shit. I'm not. I'm a good guy.

- You're a good guy. - I just messed up.

- Yeah, good guys cheat on his fucking girlfriend. I'm like, good guys would never. A good guy wouldn't do that.

- A good guy would admit to it though, and that's what I'm doing. That's why I'm here.

- You had to be talked into admitting it. - Exactly.

- I walked here in this heat, it was 109 degrees. - That sounds like you talked.

- I walked three miles in this. - And you didn't even want to change.

- Well walk three more miles. - You were back. - Trying to get away.

- As long as you come with me. - Oh my god, I'm not going anywhere.

- I'll walk longer than three miles. - I'm sure you would.

- I'll drive my balls across fucking hot coal streams if you wanted me to.

- And you can do that and I still probably won't for you. - Please.

- But it would be really funny to watch. Maybe that would be... - I'll do it. We can schedule.

- Yeah, that would go viral. - Yeah, that would get way more than you'd like.

- Reviews for every fucking view for every inch of this con. That's so funny.

- It was just, it was an accident. I really didn't mean to do any of that, you know what I mean.

And like I literally came here to try to re-kinderloop, to try to make it better.

Because I know that I fucked up. You know, I was drunk, you know, that's not an excuse.

But I came here to try to make things better because like I can't lose you. You know?

- You gave yourself the opportunity to lose me with one fucking other person. - Exactly.

- That's crazy work to come here and be like "I can't lose you."

- But I was drunk. I was drunk. - And then to like in the same breath, fucker.

- You don't understand what it's like to be a guy. - I sure as fuck don't, 'cause I would never be so bad.

- That's drunk. You know what I mean. - Oh, God, it's drunk. My God. - Oh, no.

- It's the hardest thing in the world to keep his dick in his pants. Who could ever think of something like that?

- It's not even, it's not even that though. Like, you know what I mean? Like... - It's so...

- Why would I just like go into the bathroom and be it off when I could just go and you know what I mean?

- Yeah, find a fucking warm home, huh? - When I thought it was you. - Oh my God. - But it wasn't.

- You literally could've just jerked off. I would've had more respect for you had you taken care of yourself.

As opposed to using some random chick at a party that's apparently now your tutor who got a train ride on her.

- Well, yeah. Like I said before, I make love to you. - Oh my God. - I just fucked her. I used her. She's nothing to me.

- She's absolutely nothing. She's worthless. You know? - Uh huh. - You're worth something.

- Well, it was worth enough to you to be so concerned with your grade that you felt the need to fuck your tutor. - Well yeah.

- Well, worth something. - I had to give the D to get the A's. - You're nothing. - I had to give the D to get the A's. I had to get the D to get the A's.

- Yeah, but you failed. You failed at the class. - No, she gave me a B. - Oh my God, you didn't even get an A! - Yeah. - If she gave the D, it wasn't fucking worth the shit to be real.

- I mean, I didn't... - He didn't even pass with a flying color, which means that the dick down.

I forgot to write my name, so they dock points.

Oh my fucking god. It's the first thing you do when you get a test.

I know.

How do you forget to write your name? What is it?

You're so dumb! You deserve better!

Because I'm-

You deserve a guy who's gonna be at a bare minimum, writing his fucking name on his test and take it.

I forgot because I was thinking about you.

What the fuck?

I was thinking about you.

You were thinking about me!

I almost wrote- I almost wrote your name. I almost wrote your name.

Thinking about me when you were taking your test. Thinking about me.

That's what I gotta be.

Thinking about me when you were making a poor decision that you knew would affect you.

I didn't think it was gonna affect me.

Why? Did you think I wasn't gonna find out?

Because- No.

No, he didn't think it would affect you.

I told you. I'm insecure about myself. I'm insecure about myself.

Obviously, there's-

You're so fucking beautiful and then for like a guy like me to be with you is just-

Wow, where was the same energy when you were gassing yourself up talking about, "Oh, you know who I am"?

Because I just wanted to boost my ego, but I'm just insecure. You know what I mean? That's why I did it.

Because I wanted to feel special. But you made me feel special. You made me feel special. You know? It's just like, it's just like come on.

Like, I mean, I know I fucked up. Like all I want is just you. I just want you back. I just want you back. That's it. I just want us. I want us. I want what we had. I want- you know what I mean?

What we could've been. Yeah, what we could've been. You know what I mean? What we can't still be. You and me forever. Literally till eternity, my love.

My God, please. Till eternity. You can even keep your dick in your pants for a month.

Mm-hmm. I can be sorry. Did I ever do that? Did I ever do that? Someone so great, so amazing like you? Maybe you better shut the fuck up, please. Did I ever do that? Now I fucked up? You did it to yourself. Really. I'm gonna hold my breath. Hold your breath till your face turns purple. What the fuck?

(Vinny breathes heavily)

(Vinny wheezes)

- You better breathe your pops out,

or then I can't fucking deal with you.

How am I going to pick up a grown man,

and take him out of my house?

(Vinny wheezes)

That's pretty sick, right?

- I'm so sorry.

(Vinny wheezes)

I'm sorry.

- You can be sorry, but like,

whenever you are, you need to do that,

and get the fuck out of my house.

- I need you.

I need you, and I can't.

(Vinny wheezes)

I can't live without you.

- Oh my God.

- And you don't look at me, you don't wanna talk to me.

You don't like me, you stupid.

- I'm not even going to give you the courtesy of

leaving you in that while you do this pathetic triangle shit.

- Please, please, please, please.

Tays, please.

- No, fine.

Go, get out.

Get out.

- Please.

- Get out of my house.

Get out, she's like, "Fuck out."

- Fuck.

(Vinny grunts)

What a loser.

- Oh God.

- Oh God.

(upbeat music)

[MUSIC PLAYING]