Original subtitles

31-year-old woman found down at home after likely overdose.

Minimally responsive at the scene.

Okay. Let's get her into the trauma bay.

You two, with me! - Is that Dr. Pierce's patient?

Attention. Code Blue...

On my count. One. Two. Three.

Getting her on the monitor. She's gonna need more access.

Alison, we are taking care of you. You are safe.

She's tachycardic to the 150's.

Make sure it's sinus. - I'll get a 12 lead.

- Should we try Narcan? - We gave it on the scene. Nothing.

Do you know what she took?

Alison, can you tell us what you took?

She's not protecting her airway!

She needs to be intubated!

Triage, dial 2-9. Triage, dial 2-9.

One patient.

In all my years of practice,

I have had one patient die by suicide,

and now it could be two.

And for it to be Alison?

Alison, who I saw because I wanted to get information

about my husband's infidelity.

I think I might have been envious of her.

For a moment... I think I even hated her.

Did I drive her to this?

Carol, no.

Alison is unwell. She is sick.

No one is at fault here, least of all you.

Wolf, I continued to see her

after I knew about her and Morris.

You were concerned about her immediate well-being,

which, clearly, was prescient.

It's still not okay!

It is the biggest ethical lapse I've ever made.

And it's something you're gonna have to make peace with, Carol,

but right now let's be grateful Alison is still alive.

And let's help her ICU team in any way we can

to keep it that way.

Wolf...

I need her to be okay.

I need to have a chance to fix this.

My admit and consult lists keep getting longer and longer.

Me too, man, and it seems like everyone in this hospital

has a confused patient and just needs Neuro to weigh in.

Wolf never wants us to stop following any of our consults.

My friend in medicine spent an entire pre-call day last week

with no patients to treat.

Could you imagine getting one glorious day,

even an hour, with literally nothing to do?

She won the game.

I think I could "win the game" this week. You?

You know it's not an actual game, right?

Just a phrase doctors use.

Sounds like an excuse. What's wrong?

You-- You getting enough sleep?

Or are you scared that if you go up against me directly you'll lose?

You know what?

I think I could discharge my list...

..."win the game."

Alright. So we're on.

May the best man win.

The next time you get fired,

c-could you get a gig in Manhattan?

This commute is the worst.

Okay, Ezra. I'll keep that in mind.

Uh, the last time I saw you,

you were seeing a behavioral psychologist

to help you manage your Tourette's.

How's that been going?

I haven't been back in six months.

I-I learned some good skills, but they only help so much.

My girlfriend agreed.

Girlfriend? That's fantastic.

Where did you two meet?

LSAT prep. Who would have thought a passion

for international tax law was the key to landing a woman?

I-I've been eating okay, exercising.

Uh, I take my meds, but none of them help.

Um, that urge, it's like an itch I have to scratch.

The more I hold it in, the worse it gets.

Well, then, don't hold it in. It's part of who you are.

On that note...

I wanted to ask you about something.

I've been reading about this surgery

that could help with my tics-- Deep Brain Stimulation.

Yeah, originally for Parkinson's.

Some centers are placing it for Tourette's, but--

I-I'd like to try it.

That's why I'm here.

I need a referral to a neurosurgeon.

Um...

I have to say I'm a bit surprised, Ezra.

It's brain surgery. There are significant risks and--

But you're doing so well.

You're right. I get by just fine.

But what if I didn't have to be just... fine?

Her labs are good. Tox was negative.

Chest X-ray is clear.

She's doing well on minimal vent settings.

It looks like she can be extubated soon.

Have you been in touch with any family?

It would be better for her to wake up with someone here.

We've been calling. No one's replied.

Hey.

Been here since last night?

Hmm.

I can't bring myself to leave.

How is she?

She's still on the vent, but she's gonna make it.

Well, maybe I'll just poke my head in.

I don't think that's a good idea, Carol.

You were right. Continuing to see her was a mistake.

Don't compound it with another.

You could risk your career.

I just can't stop thinking

about how she must have felt.

Scared.

Hopeless.

Alone.

God knows I've been there.

We both have.

And we both know it wasn't our fault.

We just needed someone to lean on.

If I was your doctor,

I'd tell you to go home, rest, even if briefly.

I won't leave this hospital until you come back.

Okay.

I appreciate it.

Dr. Kinney.

It's Alison. She just got extubated.

She's awake.

Okay. Uh, now, we'd like to test

your lower-extremity motor strength.

Can you raise your right leg?

Ugh! I told you. I am fine!

Except for my throat.

What did you guys do to me?

You may not remember this,

but you were unconscious when you came in.

You had to be intubated. Your throat's gonna be sore.

But you're lucky.

Lucky? Okay.

I-I just need to talk to Dr. Pierce.

She's not available right now,

but our on-call psychiatrist will be happy to see you.

That won't be necessary.

I'll just come back when she's next available.

Until then, thanks for the intubation.

Uh, Alison, we can't let you leave.

You're on a psychiatric hold here

until we learn more about what happened.

The good news is that your neuro exam showed no deficits,

so as soon as your medical issue's resolved,

we can transfer you to a psych bed.

Until then, we'll have a sitter in the room

to make sure you're safe.

Alison, do you have any questions for us?

Is there anything that we need to know to be able to help you?

Doctors, why don't you continue your rounds?

Uh, I'll meet you.

You work with Dr. Pierce, don't you?

I do.

She can tell you everything you need to know about me.

I'm... the villain.

I'm the "other woman."

And we all know what happens to her at the end of the movie.

After years of management, Ezra wants to undergo

deep brain stimulation for his Tourette's.

That's amazing! To treat one of those diseases

on the borderline between neurology and psychiatry

with brain surgery.

You don't seem enthused. - I'm not.

It's easy to think of Tourette's as devastating

because it's so visible, but there are surgeons

and musicians with Tourette's who say their condition

gives them the concentration,

the creativity, the resilience to succeed.

Often it's the invisible disorders, like Alison's,

that are far more debilitating and less easily understood.

Speaking of, Dr. Dang and Dr. Kinney,

I know the consult list is long,

but I want you to keep an extra eye on her.

- Of course. We're on it. - Dr. Markus,

any updates on Mrs. Holland?

I don't think her migraines are helping her succeed,

but, thankfully, they've resolved,

and I think she can be ready to go home.

Okay. I'll swing by and examine her.

Dr. Nash, anything to report?

Mr. Chau is doing great. Walking on his own.

Mrs. Garcia's LP was negative for meningitis,

so they should both be ready for discharge today.

I'm sorry. What's the rush, Dr. Nash?

Is there something I'm missing?

No. No. No, sir.

I'm just maximizing my productivity.

What? What?

What?! What?

That's not mine. Watch out. - Okay.

'Cause I'm on vacation. I'm hungry now.

- Yeah, apparently. - I wanna eat now.

Move, move, move, move. - Go ahead. Go ahead.

- Oh, my. - Oh, that smells so good!

- Think it needs thyme. - Yeah.

- Mmm-mmm-mmm. - It looks good.

I got your gift.

You gave my baby gold? - Pyrite.

One of the first tools used to create fire.

Just think of the fires Maya will start someday.

You are such a nerd.

You're sweet, but you're a nerd.

How are you doing?

Um, everything is great.

Just soaking up the oxytocin.

You know, I was really beginning to wonder

if this would ever happen for us,

and now that she's here...

it was all worth it.

Carol, you know it's normal

to have a tough time after giving birth.

Your hormones alone...

Did Morris call you?

Well, he said you're not sleeping.

Like you said, it's normal.

He's overreacting.

Ooh. Okay. Okay.

Wolf...

speaking of not sleeping, I gotta go.

- Okay. Bye. - Okay. Okay. Bye. Okay.

Mom? Hi! We're making dinner.

- Yes. Let me get you a plate. - No, I'm not hungry.

Maya, sweetheart, I need to talk to your dad-- alone.

Thank you, baby.

Uh, what's up?

Alison is at Bronx General.

She attempted suicide last night.

Oh, my God. Um...

Is she-- Is she-- Is she gonna be okay?

Medically, yes.

But if I'd found her any later...

Well, hold on. You found her?

Morris.

We both deserve the truth from each other.

She's been a patient of mine for the last two months.

After I found out who she was, I continued to treat her...

but then quickly came to my senses and ended our sessions.

She didn't take that too well.

W-What were you thinking by continuing to see her?

I think I had...

convinced myself that...

if I could heal her...

then maybe I could heal us.

And a part of me wanted answers.

I wanted to see if I could figure out

why you wanted her...

instead of me.

You always did have a type.

Don't do that.

It wasn't like that.

Sometimes it just felt like wanting you wasn't an option.

At some point, you started looking at me

like I was just the source of all your disappointment.

She looked at me like I was the source of all her happiness.

She could have been anyone.

Alison?

Um, I have to get back to the hospital.

No. D-Don't go.

She's not just "anyone." She's my patient.

She doesn't deserve to be a casualty of our marriage.

Hey, Mike.

Just checking in.

As much as I appreciate the check-in,

how am I looking for a check-out?

Hey, Mike, you feeling okay? Your voice sounds different.

Probably caught something just walking into this hospital.

All the more reason to get me out of here, am I right?

Anyways, I'm always sick,

and it kinda just stays in my voice.

Time is money, Dr. Nash.

I'll get you out of here in no time.

Let me just check up on that final lab.

I would drill two tiny holes in the skull here and here...

then implant electrodes that will block the nerve signals

that cause your tics.

It's a relatively small procedure,

as far as brain surgery goes. - I'm sorry.

It's just the phrase "small brain surgery"

is an oxymoron.

The success rate is quite high.

Now, your tics won't be gone entirely,

but you can expect vocal tics to be cut in half.

Motor tics, nearly the same. That's a big improvement.

When we say "improvement"

we're assuming that all tics are bad,

which I would argue is a bit myopic

and hardly worth assuming the risk of brain surgery.

What exactly are the risks?

Bleeding, stroke, infection are the primary ones.

Unlikely but real.

Ezra, this is your choice.

And I agree with Dr. Wolf. There's nothing wrong with tics.

There's also nothing wrong with wanting to make a change.

It was a total accident.

I didn't mean to go all, you know...

I'm good now. Better than ever, really.

I'm happy to hear.

I'm gonna change when I get home,

journal, do yoga, meditate.

The universe gave me a second chance,

and I am going to embrace that.

Unfortunately, discharge isn't my call.

But I'll make a note.

Well, as soon as my doctor gets here,

I'm sure she'll discharge me.

Maybe give me an actual goddamn pen to write with.

I'm sorry. For patients in your--

I'm okay now! Can't you see that?

Alison. You're not okay.

You are not going anywhere... and neither am I.

May I please have a proper butter knife?

We take every precaution

with patients who have attempted suicide.

Everything that's happening

is because we are worried about you.

They do know that I'm in medical school, right?

They don't need to treat me like I'm...

A psych patient?

Alison...

I wish things were different, too.

But... here we are.

So...

you wanted to see me.

What did you want to talk about?

I did wanna see you.

I needed to tell you that Morris was...

insatiable.

The man wanted sex all the time.

How long did you deprive the poor guy?

I mean, don't get me wrong. The conversation was scintillating.

But the sex was...

The sex was... wild!

Hello?

Are you listening?

Yes.

I was thinking about how scary it is

to be in the hospital alone...

how scary it is to want something from someone

who can't give it to you...

and how that need can turn into anger.

Must be nice to be you, Dr. Pierce.

Poised. Unflappable.

The picture of mental health.

I could ruin your career, you know...

tell everyone what you did.

You're not as perfect as you look.

How are my best girls?

Mnh. Don't do that.

Don't come in here smiling

like you didn't tell Wolf to call and check on me.

I'm worried about you, baby.

Just come out and say it. You think I'm depressed.

You think I have postpartum depression.

I'm not trying to diagnose you. Can you just come talk to me?

No. Not now.

If I leave even the tiniest trace of bacteria,

Maya could get sick, and these stupid brushes

don't get all the way in the grooves,

and I can't sanitize it by boiling it

'cause I don't wanna burn her by accident.

Oh. Did you hear that? Did you hear that?

Carol, it's a-- it's a gurgle. Babies gurgle. It's normal.

How do you know?!

You haven't slept in days.

Okay? Just go get some rest. I'll take Maya.

I'm telling you. There is something wrong!

Okay. We can take her to the hospital.

If it will give you peace of mind, we can go right now.

I'm not going out there. It's not safe out there.

Nothing is safe!

It's okay. It's okay. Mommy's here.

Thanks for seeing me again on short notice.

Oh, any time. I take it you've been thinking

about your consult with Dr. Nichols?

I-I thought I was ready to move ahead with the surgery,

but now I'm on the fence.

Do you really think it's the wrong move?

I understand your desire to be free from your tics. I do.

It took me decades to learn how to move through the world

with my prosopagnosia.

It wasn't easy. I'll admit it. But I did it.

I think you can, too.

What can I get you?

Oh, um, just a coffee with milk, please.

And your friend?

Uh, you could just ask him.

It's fine. Just a black coffee.

Whoa!

What is wrong with you?!

I'm so sorry. I...

Oh, no, no, no. I'm sorry.

In fact, let me buy your coffee.

Oh, no, thank you. It-- It's my bad.

No. Seriously. I shouldn't have snapped.

I wanna make it up to you.

Let's just call it good. Please?

Okay.

Oh. Thank you.

It happens more than you'd think.

People feel bad or they-- they see me

more as-- as a way to feel good about themselves.

I just wanna be able to get a coffee

without-- without it being a whole thing.

Okay, well, um, if y'all would excuse me,

I gotta go discharge another patient.

Dr. Markus, you'd better put those Crocs

in sport mode if you wanna keep up.

Catch you later, Kinney.

So? How's your day going?

I know I said I was cool with us keeping it casual, and I am.

You should know that I like you, Ericka,

and I really care about you.

Jacob-- I mean, all he cares about is winning.

How did your walk go with Ezra?

Not great. I really feel for him.

The judgment, the pandering, it's intolerable.

I'm glad you finally see where he's coming from.

Yeah, it was very enlightening.

Why do I get the feeling we're not seeing the same thing here?

Well, what is there not to see?

Ezra's not the problem. The world is the problem.

I get where you're coming from.

In a perfect world, Ezra wouldn't

even need to consider the surgery.

- Exactly. - But we don't live

in a perfect world, and even if we did,

what about tics that get in his own way?

If there were a simple procedure

that could cure your face blindness,

wouldn't you consider it?

Change the way I see the world? Definitely not.

It's easy to say when it's not an option,

but if it were there in front of you?

We have an opportunity to make Ezra's life a little bit easier.

Isn't that a chance worth taking?

Uh...

Emergency in the ICU. It's Alison.

Alison? Alison? You have to calm down.

I don't feel right!

She became tremulous, and her pressure and heart rate

spiked 15 minutes ago. Pupils are dilated.

I thought she could be withdrawing, but--

Check for clonus.

Alison, I'm just gonna try one more thing, okay?

Looks like serotonin syndrome.

Write her for cyproheptadine and Ativan.

Order it, stat!

The Ativan worked.

It was serotonin syndrome from a combination of the meds

she overdosed on.

Luckily, we caught it quickly.

The right amount of serotonin makes us feel good.

But... too much of it can be deadly.

I feel like there's a metaphor here.

Our brains crave excess.

Our bodies can't always handle it.

That's a bit like Alison's relational pattern.

She attaches so hard to people

that she eventually drives them away.

It's why she's alone.

She's not alone...

because you're here.

Can I leave now?

You are a free man.

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

There's that same clumsiness that got me in here

in the first place.

Hey, Mike, one sec.

Look towards me.

So? Am I good?

Your voice.

It's not as raspy as it was before.

Yeah, it comes and goes when I talk too much, sometimes.

Do me a favor-- hang tight for a minute?

I got to go grab some ice.

Oh!

That Leibman's pastrami hits different.

Mmm. - I figured you could use

something more than PB cups and rice today.

Ma'am, I'm supposed to be taking care of you,

not the other way around.

- Can I ask you a question, Mom? - Mm-hmm.

Did Dad cheat?

He did.

But, honey, when issues arise in a marriage,

it's never just one person's fault.

Mom.

Relationships are a two way street.

Two people.

Two sets of needs. Expectations.

Your father and I'll just have to work together to fix things.

But you didn't make him cheat.

It's not your fault. - I know, honey.

And it's not up to you to fix everything, all the time.

Hey.

Hey, come on. Let go.

Let me help. Carol, let me help.

Let me help. It's okay. It's okay.

No. No. No. No.

Give her back. Give her back.

No, she's-- she's okay. She's good.

She's with Daddy.

She's okay. She's with Daddy.

Look at her. She's okay.

See?

She's okay.

But you're not.

You need some sleep.

You need some help.

I swear...

...I'll never hurt you.

It's okay.

Hey, why is Ezra on the surgery board?

He chose to get the surgery.

He didn't want to tell you.

He told me he didn't want to let you down.

It'd mean a lot to him to have your blessing.

I-I can't give it. I thought about it.

I don't support it.

What's the real problem here, Wolf?

That your patient chose to make a change,

that you couldn't help him the way he wanted, or...

that I'm the one helping him?

That has absolutely nothing to do with it.

No, no, no, no, admit it.

You don't think I can help patients

as much as you can.

Well, that's insecurity talking,

and it's really not a great look, Josh.

Stop. It's not insecurity.

It's that you don't fully value me.

I do value you.

But you don't see me as your equal.

Neurosurgeons and neurologists see things differently.

Always have. It's part of the job.

Yeah.

So, where does that leave us?

Just like I told you.

Maybe you guys want to tell me what's up?

Your doctor made a tough diagnosis.

Jacob, why don't you tell him?

Well, I think you have something

called myasthenia gravis.

It's an autoimmune disease that stops communication

between your nerves and your muscles.

That's why your voice gets a little funny

when you use it a lot.

That's why you fell down earlier,

and why your eyelid drooped.

Untreated, it can be extremely dangerous.

But now we know, and we can treat you.

You're gonna be totally fine.

Dr. Nash might have saved your life.

Thank you.

Um, my wife is supposed to pick me up.

Should I-- - Call your wife.

You're staying here.

So, you didn't win the game?

They called it that when I was an intern, too.

It's good to see you're paying more attention

to your patients than your paperwork.

Nicely done.

Did you hear?

Dana won the game.

Yeah, she signed off on, like, 10 consults today.

Hey, I could have won, you know.

I chose not to because it was right for the patient.

Look, man. I know what you're doing.

You like Ericka.

But the fact is she picked me.

Oh, by the way, um, thanks for the ice cream.

Hey, Dr. Wolf. I wasn't sure if I'd see you.

How are you feeling?

Dr. Nichols said it went well.

It's weird.

I'm not used to my body being so quiet.

Well, the tics were part of you,

and they still are, just less so.

Maybe now there's room for you to discover

something new about yourself?

Thanks for sticking with me, doc.

I know you weren't totally on board with the surgery.

I'm on board with you, no matter what.

Really, I should be thanking you, Ezra.

For what?

For reminding me that there's nothing wrong

with wanting to change.

If you need help with that, I know a guy

with a killer signature.

Alright, big shot.

I'm gonna give you a solid 30 seconds of gloating

for nailing that myasthenia gravis diagnosis.

No gloating here.

I'm just happy to be doing my job.

I'm glad someone like you appreciates good medicine.

Someone like me?

Someone I admire.

I'm out here playing catch up with you, you know that.

Jacob, you don't need me to tell you you're a great doctor.

Though, you could have done without that stupid game

you started with Van.

Okay, well, that's over.

No more games.

But I will say Van is a worthy opponent.

In fact, it's a wonder he has time for all his patients

with him being a dad and all.

- What? - Van has a kid.

I thought he might have told you.

What are you playing at?

What do you mean?

I don't know what this stuff between you and Van is about,

but it feels like it's about me, and I don't like it.

Do you want to be with me? Is that it?

Ericka, I--

well, I just think that maybe--

You can't even say it.

But even if you could, it wouldn't matter,

because I am not here for this.

I am here to be a doctor.

That is my priority.

Boys. I'm surrounded by boys.

Do you have a kid? - What?!

Whoa. Whoa.

Like, a human kid?

Do you mind? Can you give us a minute?

Fine.

But I'm gonna need to be filled in at some point.

I-I can't believe Jacob told you that.

Actually, no, you know what? I can believe he told you that.

- Why did he know and I didn't? - I'm sorry.

Okay? I-I-I meant to tell you.

Maybe we should go back to the way things were...

with us, as friends.

Like, friends who don't sleep together?

It's less complicated that way.

Yeah, but come on.

We-- I mean, we've been having fun.

It's been fun, right? - This isn't fun for me anymore.

♪ The devil's in the basement in my home ♪

♪ A flight of stairs is way too close ♪

I can take it from here.

I'm not allowed to have those.

Is there a reason I can't trust you with them?

Not anymore.

Thank you.

I'm sorry...

...for everything.

I know it's hard to believe me,

but I never set out to hurt you.

If anything, I wanted to be you.

I came here because I wanted to meet you...

the other woman...

or, so I thought.

Until I realized the other woman was me.

I can understand why you feel that way.

But, Alison, nobody is the other woman in their own life.

I'm not so sure.

I think in our sessions

I told you that I was an only child.

That wasn't entirely true.

When I was 10, my father left my mom for someone else.

They started a new family together, had four kids.

When I would go see them on the weekends,

everyone was nice, but it wasn't really my family.

They didn't want me around.

How did things get so hard?

You know, there are infinite factors that make us who we are.

I never gave you a diagnosis.

Maybe, had we kept seeing each other

under normal circumstances, I would have by now.

Would you like to know what I've been thinking?

Based on our previous sessions

and everything I know about you--

your fear of being alone, your feelings of emptiness,

your mercurial moods--

in my professional opinion,

I think you have borderline personality disorder,

which I'm sure you've learned about in your psych classes.

- Mm-hmm. - The challenge

with a condition like this is

that people don't realize they need help until things get bad.

But through focused work,

you don't have to feel this way forever.

Though that work will have to happen

in a different therapeutic setting.

So, I am medium crazy, not psychotic.

Borderline.

I can work with that.

I just still wish...

Oh, I wish you could fix me.

Yeah.

I wish it were that easy.

But maybe it isn't about fixing,

but instead making change.

So, when you sign this form,

you'll be admitting yourself to the psych unit.

Do you understand?

I do.

Don't make me sign in crayon.

You know, I always wanted to be on the other side

of a conversation like this.

Maybe you will be, if you still want it.

It seems like Dr. Pierce really went out on a limb for you.

There's something you should know about her.

She's one of a kind.

Yeah.

Two sugars and a splash of oat milk,

just the way you like it.

Ooh, I knew I kept you around for something.

Am I a dick?

Are you trying to bribe me so that I'll say no?

Well, Josh called me out on something,

and he's probably right,

even though I don't want him to be.

Can people ever really change?

I sure as hell hope so.

Remember when you asked me what I wanted my last memory to be?

And my answer was me, Morris, Maya,

Italian food, and good laughs.

I wanted so badly to get back to that family we were

in the early days.

And what do you want right now?

I know I don't want to be angry anymore.

♪ Will I ever breathe again? ♪

- Hey. - Hey.

Hey.

Uh, how are you doing?

I'm... okay.

I want a divorce.

I need to say-- I need to say again,

I'm so sorry about Alison.

I'm glad she's okay.

But you-- you must see how difficult that sh--

It's not just about Alison.

You said yourself she could have been anyone.

You broke your promise.

You said you would never hurt us.

I love you.

But I can't forgive you.

Can I sit?

For as long as I knew him when I was a kid,

my dad was ill.

He was bipolar with severe manic and depressive episodes.

Wolf, I-I-I'm so sorry.

You know, my dad's shame weighed him down,

and I often thought if the world was more accepting,

maybe he would still be alive today,

but lately I've been thinking,

if I could have lifted his condition out of his life,

and if he wanted it...

I would have done it, in a heartbeat.

You're right.

Sometimes I can fall into the fallacy

that my way of treating a patient is the only one.

I'm sorry.

But you were wrong about this.

I do see you as my equal, Josh.

Otherwise, I wouldn't bother arguing with you.

Oh, heck, no.

Yeah, this happens sometimes.

Super keeps saying he's gonna fix it, but...

For those of you just tuning in,

we're bringing you footage from The Bronx,

where it appears an apartment building

has partially collapsed. First responders are arriving

on the scene... - What's going on?

A building collapsed a few miles from here.

First responders are arriving on the scene.

Now early reports suggest some residents

were able to evacuate.

We don't know how many people are still trapped inside

or how many casualties there might be.

For more on the ground, we go to...

Prep your interns. I'll be in the ER.

Make as much space as you can for the wave of patients

we're about to treat.

Anyone seen Ericka?

That's Ericka's building.

Attention, external triage.

Attention, external triage.